Therewassomethingofold-worldbreedingabouttheladthatcommendedhimtotheearl。SuchbreedingisnotrareamongCelt-bornpeasants。
“Mysonstoldmethattheyhadmetayoungmaninthegrounds——“
“ForwhichIbegyourlordship'spardon,“saidDonal。“Ididnotknowtheplacewasforbidden。“
“Ihopeyouwillsoonbefamiliarwithit。Iamgladofyourmistake。Fromwhattheysaid,Isupposedyoumightbeastudentinwantofasituation,andIhadbeenlookingoutforayoungmantotakechargeoftheboy:itseemedpossibleyoumightservemypurpose。Idonotquestionyoucanshowyourselffitforsuchanoffice:Ipresumeitwouldsuityou。Doyoubelieveyourselfonetobesotrusted?”
Donalhadnotaglimmeroffalsemodesty;heansweredimmediately,“Ido,mylord。“
“Tellmesomethingofyourhistory:wherewereyouborn?whatwereyourparents?”
Donaltoldhimallhethoughtitofanyconsequenceheshouldknow。
Hislordshipdidnotonceinterrupthimwithquestionorremark。
Whenhehadended——
“Well,“hesaid,“Ilikeallyoutellme。Youhavetestimonials?”
“Ihavefromtheprofessors,mylord,andonefromtheministeroftheparish,whoknewmebeforeIwenttocollege。IcouldgetonefromMr。Sclatertoo,whosechurchIattendedwhilethere。“
“Showmewhatyouhave,“saidhislordship。
Donaltookthepapersfromthepocket-bookhismotherhadmadehim,andhandedthemtohim。Theearlreadthemwithsomeattention,returningeachtohimwithoutremarkashefinishedit,onlysayingwiththelast,“Quitesatisfactory。“
“But,“saidDonal,“thereisonethingIshouldbemoreateaseifI
toldyourlordship:Mr。Carmichael,theministerofthisparish,wouldtellyouIwasanatheist,orsomethingverylikeit——thereforeanaltogetherunsafeperson。Butheknowsnothingofme。“
“Onwhatgroundsthenwouldhesayso?”askedtheearl——showingnottheleastdiscomposure。“Ithoughtyouwereastrangertothisplace!”
Donaltoldhimhowtheyhadmet,whathadpassedbetweenthem,andhowtheministerhadbehavedinconsequence。Hislordshipheardhimgravely,wassilentforamoment,andthensaid,“ShouldMr。Carmichaeladdressmeonthesubject,whichIdonotthinklikely,hewillfindmealreadytoomuchprejudicedinyourfavour。ButIcanimaginehismistakingyourfreedomofspeech:youarescarcelyprudentenough。Whysayallyouthink?”
“Ifearnothing,mylord。“
Theearlwassilent;hisgrayfaceseemedtogrowgrayer,butitmightbethatjustthenthesunwentunderacloud,andhewassuddenlyfoldedinshadow。Afteramomenthespokeagain。
“Iamquitesatisfiedwithyousofar,Mr。Grant;andasIshouldnotliketoemployyouindirectoppositiontoMr。Carmichel——notthatIbelongtohischurch——wewillarrangemattersbeforehecanhearoftheaffair。Whatsalarydoyouwant?”
Donalrepliedhewouldpreferleavingthesalarytohislordship'sjudgmentupontrial。
“Iamnotawealthyman,“returnedhislordship,“andwouldpreferanunderstanding。“
“Trymethenforthreemonths,mylord;givememyboardandlodging,theuseofyourlibrary,andattheendofthequarteraten-pound-note:bythattimeyouwillbeabletotellwhetherIsuityou。“
Theearlnoddedagreement,andDonalroseatonce。Withaheartfullofthankfulnessandhopehewalkedbacktohisfriends。Hehadbeforehimpleasantwork;plentyoftimeandbook-help;anabodefullofinterest;andsomethingforhislabour!
“'Surelythewrathofmanshallpraisethee!'“saidthecobbler,rejoicingagainsttheminister;“'theremainderofwrathshaltthourestrain。'“
IntheafternoonDonalwentintothetowntogetsometrifleshewantedbeforegoingtothecastle。Asheturnedtothedoorofadraper'sshop,hesawatthecountertheministertalkingtohim。
Hewouldratherhavegoneelsewherebutforunwillingnesstoturnhisbackonanything:hewentin。Besidetheministerstoodayounglady,who,havingcompletedherpurchases,waslisteningtotheirconversation。Thedraperlookedupasheentered。Aglancepassedbetweenhimandtheminister。HecametoDonal,andhavingheardwhathewanted,lefthim,wentbacktotheminister,andtooknomorenoticeofhim。Donalfounditawkward,andlefttheshop。
“Highan'michty!”saidthedraper,annoyedatlosingthecustomertowhosedispraisehehadbeenlistening。
“Farbeyonddissent,John!”saidtheminister,pursuingaremark。
“Doobtless,sir,itisthat!”answeredthedraper。“I'mthankfu'tosayIneverharbouredadoobtmysel',butayetookwhatIwastauld,ohnargle-barglet。Whathaewesicasyersel'setower'sfor,gienitbinnatohaud'si'thestraichtpatho'whatwe'retobelievean'
notobelieve?It'safinethingnotobeaccoontable!”
Theministerwasanhonestmansofarasheknewhimselfandhonesty,anddidnotrelishthisformofsubmission。Buthedidnotaskhimselfwherewasthedifferencebetweenacceptingthewordofmanandacceptingman'sexplanationofthewordofGod!Hetookahugepinchfromhisblacksnuffboxandheldhispeace。
IntheeveningDonalwouldsettlehisaccountwithmistressComin:
hefoundherdemandsomuchlessthanhehadexpected,thatheexpostulated。Shewasfirm,however,andassuredhimshehadgained,notlost。Ashewasputtinguphisthings,“Lea'abuikortwa,sir,“shesaid,“'atwhanyeluikin,theplacemayluikhame-like。Wes'ca'theroomyours。Comeasaftenasyecan。ItdoesmyAnerew'shertguidtohaeacrackwi'ane'atkenssomethingo'whattheMaisterwadbeat。Monyane'llca'himLord,butfeow'illtakthetribletokenwhathewadhaeo'them。Butthere'smyAnerew——he'llsityon'erathiswark,thinkin'bythehoorthegitherowersomethingtheMaistersaid'athecannawinattherichtso'。'Depen'upo''t,'hesayswhiles,'depen'upo''t,lass,whauronythinghesaysdisnaluikrichttohiz,itmaunbe'atwehaenawonatit!'“
Assheended,herhusbandcamein,andtookupwhathefanciedthethreadofthedialogue。
“An'whatarewetothinko'theman,“hesaid,“at'scontentnotoun'erstan'whathewasatthetribletosay?Wadhesaythings'athedidnameanfowktoun'erstan'whanhesaidthem?”“Weel,Anerew,“
saidhiswife,“there'smonyathinghesaid'atIcannotun'erstan';naitheramImucklethebetterforyourexplainin'o'
thesame;Imaunjistlatitsit。“
Andrewlaughedhisquietpleasedlaugh。
“Weel,lass,“hesaid,“theduin'o'aething'sbetternortheun'erstan'in'o'twenty。Norwullyebelangohnun'erstan'tmuckle'at'sdarktoyenoo;forthemaisterlikesnanebuttheduero'theword,an'herhelikesweel。Beblythe,lass;yes'haeyerfillo'
un'erstan'in'yet!”
“I'mfaintobelieveyespeykthetrowth,Anerew!”
“It'sgreattrowth,“saidDonal。
CHAPTERXII。
THECASTLE。
Thenextmorningcameacartfromthecastletofetchhisbox;andafterbreakfasthesetoutforhisnewabode。
Hetookthepathbytheriver-side。Themorningwasglorious。Thesunandtheriverandthebirdswerejubilant,andthewindgavelifetoeverything。Itrippledthestream,andflutteredthelongwebsbleachinginthesun:theyroseandfelllikewhitewavesonthebrightgreenlake;andwomen,homelyNereidsofthegrassysea,werebesprinklingthemwithspray。Thereweredullsoundsofwoodenmachinerynear,buttheymadenodiscordwiththesweetnessofthehour,speakingonlyofactivity,notlabour。Fromthelongbleachingmeadowsbytheriver-siderosethewoodedbaseofthecastle。Donal'sbosomswelledwithdelight;thencameasting:washealreadyforgettinghisinextinguishablegrief?“But,“heansweredhimself,“Godismoretomethananywoman!Whenheputsjoyinmyheart,shallInotbeglad?WhenhecallsmynameshallInotanswer?”
Hesteppedoutjoyfully,andwassoonclimbingthehill。Hewasagainadmittedbytheoldbutler。
“Iwillshowyouatonce,“hesaid,“howtogoandcomeatyourownwill。“
Heledhimthroughdoorsandalongpassagestoaposternopeningonalittlewalledgardenattheeastendofthecastle。
“Thisdoor,“hesaid,“is,youobserve,atthefootofBaliol'stower,andinthattowerisyourroom;Iwillshowityou。“
Heledthewayupaspiralstairthatmightalmosthavegoneinsidethenewelofthegreatstaircase。Upanduptheywent,untilDonalbegantowonder,andstilltheywentup。
“You'reyoung,sir,“saidthebutler,“andsoundofwindandlimb;
soyou'llsoonthinknothingofit。“
“Ineverwasupsohighbefore,exceptonahill-side,“returnedDonal。“Thecollege-towerisnothingtothis!”
“Inadayortwoyou'llbeshootingupanddownitlikeabird。I
usedtodosomyself。Igotintothewayofkeepingashoulderforemost,andscrewingupasifIwasablobofair!Oldagedoesmakefoolsofus!”
“Youdon'tlikeitthen?”
“No,Idonot:whodoes?”
“It'sonlythatyougetspentasyougoup。Thefreshairatthetopofthestairwillsoonreviveyou,“saidDonal。
Buthisconductordidnotunderstandhim。
“That'sallverywellsolongasyou'reyoung;butwhenithasgotyou,you'llpantandgrumbleliketherestofus。“
InthedistanceDonalsawAgecomingslowlyafterhim,toclawhiminhisclutch,astheoldsongsays。“PleaseGod,“hethought,“bythetimehecomesup,I'llbereadytotryafallwithhim!OThoueternallyyoung,theyearshavenoholdonthee;letthemhavenoneonthychild。Itooshallhavelifeeternal。“
Eretheyreachedthetopofthestair,themanhaltedandopenedadoor。Donalenteringsawasmallroom,nearlyround,aportionofthecircletakenoffbythestair。Ontheoppositesidewasawindowprojectingfromthewall,whencehecouldlookinthreedifferentdirections。Thewidecountrylayathisfeet。Hesawthewindingroadbywhichhehadascended,thegatebywhichhehadentered,themeadowwithitswhitestripesthroughwhichhehadcome,andtheriverflowingdown。Hefolloweditwithhiseyes:——lo,therewasthesea,shininginthesunlikeadiamondshield!ItwasbutthelittleGermanOcean,yetonewiththegreatworld-ocean。Heturnedtohisconductor。
“Yes,“saidtheoldman,answeringhislook,“it'saglorioussight!
WhenfirstIlookedoutthereIthoughtIwasineternity。“
Thewallswerebareevenofplaster;hecouldhavecountedthestonesinthem;buttheyweredryasabone。
“Youarewondering,“saidtheoldman,“howyouaretokeepwarminthewinter!Lookhere:youshutthisdooroverthewindow!Seehowthickandstrongitis!Thereisyourfireplace;andforfuel,there'splentybelow!Itisalabourtocarryitup,Igrant;butifIwasyou,Iwouldsettoo'nightswhennobodywasabout,andcarrytillIhadastocklaidin!”
“But,“saidDonal,“Ishouldfillupmyroom。Iliketobeabletomoveaboutalittle!”
“Ah,“repliedtheoldman,“youdon'tknowwhataspaceyouhaveupherealltoyourself!Comethisway。“
Twoturnsmoreupthestair,andtheycametoanotherdoor。Itopenedintowidespace:fromitDonalsteppedonaledgeorbartizan,withoutanyparapet,thatranroundthetower,passingabovethewindowofhisroom。Itwaswellhehadasteadybrain,forhefoundtheheightaffecthimmorethanthatofaprecipiceonGlashgar:doubtlesshewouldgetusedtoit,fortheoldmanhadsteppedoutwithoutthesmallesthesitation!Roundthetowerhefollowedhim。
Ontheothersideafewstepsrosetoawatch-tower——asortofornatesentry-boxinstone,whereonemightsitandregardwithwidevisionthewholecountry。Avoidingthis,anothersteportwoledthemtotheroofofthecastle——ofgreatstoneslabs。Abroadpassageranbetweentheriseoftheroofandabattlementedparapet。
Bythistimetheycametoaflatroof,ontowhichtheydescendedbyafewsteps。Herestoodtworoughsheds,withnothinginthem。
“There'sstowage!”saidtheoldman。
“Yes,indeed!”answeredDonal,towhomtheideaofhisaeriewasgrowingmoreandmoreagreeable。“Butwouldtherebenoobjectiontomyusingtheplaceforsuchapurpose?”
“Whatobjection?”returnedhisguide。“Idoubtifasinglepersonbutmyselfknowsit。“
“AndshallIbeallowedtocarryupasmuchasIplease?”
“Iallowyou,“saidthebutler,withimportance。“Ofcourseyouwillnotwaste——Iamdeadagainstwaste!Butastowhatisneedful,useyourfreedom——Dinnerwillbereadyforyouintheschoolroomatseven。“
Atthedoorofhisroomtheoldmanlefthim,andafterlisteningforamomenttohisdescendingsteps,Donalre-enteredhischamber。
Whytheyputhimsoapart,Donalneveraskedhimself;thatheshouldhavesuchcommandofhisleisureasthisisolationpromisedhimwasaconsequenceverysatisfactory。Heproceededatoncetosettlehimselfinhisnewquarters。Findingsomeshelvesinarecessofthewall,hearrangedhisbooksuponthem,andlaidhisfewclothesinthechestofdrawersbeneath。Hethengotouthiswritingmaterial,andsatdown。
Thoughhiswindowwassohigh,thewarmpureaircameinfullofthearomaticodoursrisinginthehotsunshinefromtheyoungpinetreesfarbelow,andfromalarkfarabovedescendednewsofheaven-gate。
Thescentcameupandthesongcamedownallthetimehewaswritingtohismother——alongletter。Whenhehadclosedandaddressedit,hefellintoareverie。Apparentlyhewastohavehismealsbyhimself:hewasgladofit:hewouldbeabletoreadallthetime!Buthowwashetofindtheschoolroom!Someonewouldsurelyfetchhim!Theywouldrememberhedidnotknowhiswayabouttheplace!Itwantedyetanhourtodinner-timewhen,findinghimselfdrowsy,hethrewhimselfonhisbed,wherepresentlyhefellfastasleep。
Thenightdescended,andwhenhecametohimself,itssilencesweredeeparoundhim。Itwasnotdark:therewasnomoon,butthetwilightwasclear。Hecouldreadthefaceofhiswatch:itwastwelveo'clock!Noonehadmissedhim!Hewasveryhungry!Buthehadbeenhungrierbeforeandsurvivedit!Inhiswalletwerestillsomeremnantsofoat-cake!Hetookitinhishand,andsteppingoutonthebartizan,creptwithcarefulstepsroundtothewatch-tower。
Thereheseatedhimselfinthestonechair,andatehisdrymorselsinthestarrypresences。Sleephadrefreshedhim,andhewaswideawake,yettherewasonhimthesenseofastrangeexistence。Neverbeforehadhesoknownhimself!Oftenhadhepassedthenightintheopenair,butneverbeforehadhisnight-consciousnessbeensuch!Neverhadhefeltthesamewayalone。Hewaspartedfromthewholeearth,liketheship-boyonthegiddymast!Nothingwasbelowbutadimness;theearthandallthatwasinitwasmassedintoavagueshadow。Itwasasifhehaddiedandgonewhereexistencewasindependentofsolidityandsense。Abovehimwasdomedthevastofthestarryheavens;hecouldneitherfleefromitnorascendtoit!
Foramomenthefeltitthesymboloflife,yetanunattainablehopelessthing。Hehungsuspendedbetweenheavenandearth,anoutcastofboth,adenizenofneither!Thetruelifeseemedevertoretreat,nevertoawaithisgrasp。NothingbutthebeholdingofthefaceoftheSonofMancouldsethimatrestastoitsreality;
nothinglessthantheassurancefromhisownmouthcouldsatisfyhimthatallwastrue,allwell:lifewasathingsoessentiallydivine,thathecouldnotknowitinitselftillhisownessencewaspure!
Butalas,howdream-likewastheoldstory!WasGodindeedtobereachedbytheprayers,affectedbytheneedsofmen?Howwashetofeelsureofit?Oncemore,asoftenheretofore,hefoundhimselfcryingintothegreatworldtoknowwhethertherewasaneartohear。Whatifthereshouldcometohimnoanswer?Howfrightfulthenwouldbehisloneliness!Buttoseemnottobeheardmightbepartofthedisciplineofhisdarkness!ItmightbefortheperfectingofhisfaiththathemustnotyetknowhownearGodwastohim!
“Lord,“hecried,“eternallifeistoknowtheeandthyFather;IdonotknowtheeandthyFather;Ihavenoteternallife;Ihavebutlifeenoughtohungerformore:showmeplainlyoftheFatherwhomthoualoneknowest。“
Andasheprayed,somethinglikeatouchofGodseemedtobeginandgrowinhimtillitwasmorethanhisheartcouldhold,andtheuniverseabouthimwasnotlargeenoughtoholdinitshollowtheheartthatswelledwithit。
“Godisenough,“hesaid,andsatinpeace。
CHAPTERXIII。
ASOUND。
Allatoncecametohisearthroughthenightastrangesomething。
Whenceorwhatitwashecouldnotevenconjecture。Wasitamoanoftheriverfrombelow?Wasitalostmusic-tonethathadwanderedfromafarandgrownfaint?Wasitoneofthosemysterioussoundshehadreadofasbornintheairitself,andnotyetexplainedofscience?Wasittheflutteredskirtofsomeangelicsongoflamentation?——foriftheangelsrejoice,theysurelymustlament!
Orwasitastilledhumanmoaning?Wasanywrongbeingdonefardowninthewhite-gleamingmeadowsbelow,bythebanksoftheriverwhoseplatinum-glimmerhecoulddescrythroughthemoltenamethystinedarknessofthestarrynight?
Presentlycamealong-drawnmusicalmoan:itmustbethesoundofsomemuffledinstrument!Verilynightwasthetimeforstrangethings!Couldsoundsbebegotteninthefirtreesbytheraysofthehotsun,andborninthestillnessofthefollowingdark,asthelightwhichthediamondreceivesinthedayglowsoutinthegloom?
Thereareparentsandtheirprogenythatneverexisttogether!
Againthesound——hardlytobecalledsound!Itresembledavibrationoforgan-pipetooslowanddeeptoaffectthehearing;
onlythisratherseemedtoohigh,asifonlyhissoulheardit。Hewouldstealsoftlydownthedumbstone-stair!Somecreaturemightbeintroubleandneedinghelp!
Hecreptbackalongthebartizan。Thestairwasdarkastheveryheartofthenight。Hegropedhiswaydown。Thespiralstairisthesafestofall:youcannottumblefarerebroughtupbytheinclosingcylinder。Arrivedatthebottom,andfeelingabout,hecouldnotfindthedoortotheouterairwhichthebutlerhadshownhim;itwaswallwhereverhishandsfell。Hecouldnotfindagainthestairhehadleft;hecouldnottellinwhatdirectionitlay。
Hehadgotintoalongwindowlesspassageconnectingtwowingsofthehouse,andinthishewasfeelinghisway,fearfuloffallingdownsomestairortrap。Hecameatlasttoadoor——low-browedlikealmostallinthehouse。Openingit——wasitathinnerdarknessorthefaintestgleamoflighthesaw?Andwasthatagainthesoundhehadfollowed,fainterandfartheroffthanbefore——adownywind-waftedplumefromtheskirtofsomestrayharmony?Atsuchatimeofthenightsurelyitwasstrange!Itmustcomefromonewhocouldnotsleep,andwassolacinghimselfwithsweetsounds,breathingasoulintotheuncompanionablesilence!Ifsoitwas,hehadnorighttosearchfarther!Buthowwashetoreturn?Hedaredhardlymove,lestheshouldbefoundwanderingoverthehouseinthedeadofnightlikeathief,oronesearchingafteritssecrets。Hemustsitdownandwaitforthemorning:itsearliestlightwouldperhapsenablehimtofindhiswaytohisquarters!
Feelingabouthimalittle,hisfootstruckagainstthestepofastair。Examiningitwithhishands,hebelieveditthesamehehadascendedinthemorning:eveninagreatcastle,couldtherebetwosuchroyalstairs?Hesatdownuponit,andleaninghisheadonhishands,composedhimselftoapatientwaitingforthelight。
Waitingpureisperhapsthehardestthingforfleshandbloodtodowell。Therelationsoftimetomindareverystrange。Someoftheirphenomenaseemtoprovethattimeisonlyofthemind——belongingtotheintellectasgoodandevilbelongtothespirit。Anyhow,ifitwerenotfortheclocksoftheuniverse,onemanwouldliveayear,acentury,whereanotherwouldlivebutaday。Butthemeremotionoftime,nottosaytheconsciousnessofemptytime,isfearful。Itisthisemptytimethatthefoolisalwaystryingtokill:hiseffortshouldbetofillit。YetnothingbutthelivingGodcanfillit——thoughitbebuttheshapeourexistencetakestous。Onlywhereheis,emptinessisnot。
EternitywillbebutanintensepresenttothechildwithwhomistheFather。
Suchthoughtsalighted,flitted,andpassed,forthefirstfewmoments,throughthemindofDonal,ashesathalfconsciouslywaitingforthedawn。Itwasthousandsofmilesaway,overthegreatroundofthesunward-turningearth!Hisimaginationwoke,andbegantopicturethegreathuntoftheshadows,fleeingbeforethearrowsofthesun,overthebroadfaceofthemightyworld——itsmountains,seas,andplainsinturnconfessingthelight,andsubmittingtohimwhoslaysforthemthehauntingdemonsoftheirdark。Thenagainthemomentswerethesmallcogsonthewheelsoftime,wherebythedarkcastleinwhichhesatwasrushingevertowardsthelight:thecogswerecaughtandthewheelsturnedswiftly,andthetimeandthedarknesssped。Heforgotthelabourofwaiting。Ifnowandthenhefanciedatonethroughthedarkness,itwastohismindthemusic-marchofthemorningtohisrescuefromthedungeonofthenight。
Butthatwasnomusicaltonewhichmadethedarknessshudderaroundhim!Hesprangtohisfeet。Itwasahumangroan——agroanasofoneindirepain,thepainofasoul'sagony。Itseemedtohavedescendedthestairtohim。ThenextinstantDonalwasfeelinghiswayup——cautiously,asifoneachsucceedingstephemightcomeagainstthemanwhohadgroaned。Talesofhauntedhousesrushedintohismemory。Whatifhewerebutpursuingthegroanofanactorinthepast——acreaturetheslaveofhisownconsciousmemory——amerehaunterofthepresentwhichhecouldnotinfluence——onewithoutphysicalrelationtotheembodied,saveinthegroanshecouldyetutter!Butitwasmoreinawethaninfearthathewent。
Upanduphefelthisway,allabouthimasstillasdarknessandthenightcouldmakeit。Aghostlycoldcreptthroughhisskin;itwasdrawntogetherasbyagentlyfreezingprocess;andtherewasapullingatthemusclesofhischest,asifhismouthwerebeingdraggedopenbyamartingale。
Ashefelthiswayalongthewall,sweepingitsgreatendlesscircleroundandroundinspiralascent,allatoncehishandseemedtogothroughit;hestartedandstopped。Itwasthedooroftheroomintowhichhehadbeenshowntomeettheearl!Itstoodwideopen。
Afaintglimmercamethroughthewindowfromthestar-filledsky。
Hesteppedjustwithinthedoorway。Wasnotthatanotherglimmeronthefloor——fromthebackoftheroom——throughadoorhedidnotrememberhavingseenyesterday?Thereagainwasthegroan,andnighathand!Someonemustbeinsoreneed!Heapproachedthedoorandlookedthrough。Alamp,nearlyspent,hungfromtheceilingofasmallroomwhichmightbeanofficeorstudy,oraplacewherepaperswerekept。Ithadthelookofanantechamber,butthatitcouldnotbe,fortherewasbuttheonedoor!——Inthedimlighthedescriedavagueformleaningupagainstoneofthewalls,asiflisteningtosomethingthroughit!Ashegazeditgrewplainertohim,andhesawaface,itseyesstaringwide,whichyetseemednottoseehim。Itwasthefaceoftheearl。Donalfeltasifinthepresenceofthedisembodied;hestoodfascinated,normadeattempttoretireorconcealhimself。Thefigureturneditsfacetothewall,putthepalmsofitshandsagainstit,andmovedthemupanddown,andthiswayandthat;thenlookedatthem,andbegantorubthemagainsteachother。
Donalcametohimself。Heconcludeditwasacaseofsleepwalking。
Hehadreadthatitwasdangeroustowakethesleeper,butthatheseldomcametomischiefwhenleftalone,andwasabouttoslipawayashehadcome,whenthefaintsoundofafar-offchordcreptthroughthesilence。Theearlagainlaidhiseartothewall。Buttherewasonlysilence。Hewentthroughthesamedumbshowasbefore,thenturnedasiftoleavetheplace。Donalturnedalso,andhurriedlyfelthiswaytothestair。Thenfirsthewasindangerofterror;forinstealingthroughthedarknessfromonewhocouldfindhiswaywithouthiseyes,heseemedpursuedbyacreaturenotofthisworld。Onthestairhewentdownasteportwo,thenlingered,andheardtheearlcomeonitalso。Hecreptclosetothenewel,leavingthegreatwidthofthestairfree,butthestepsoftheearlwentupward。Donaldescended,satdownagainatthebottomofthestair,andbeganagaintowait。Nosoundcametohimthroughtherestofthenight。Theslowhoursrolledaway,andtheslowlightdrewnearer。Nowandthenhewasonthepointoffallingintoadoze,butwouldsuddenlystartwideawake,listeningthroughasilencethatseemedtofillthewholeuniverseanddeepenaroundthecastle。
Atlengthhewasawarethatthedarknesshad,unobservedofhim,grownweaker——thattheapproachofthelightwassickeningit:thedayspringwasabouttotakeholdoftheendsoftheearththatthewickedmightbeshakenoutofitslap。Hesoughtthelongpassagebywhichhehadcome,andfelthiswaytotheotherend:itwouldbesafertowaitthereifhecouldgetnofarther。Butsomehowhecametothefootofhisownstair,andspedupasifitweretheladderofheaven。Hethrewhimselfonhisbed,fellfastasleep,anddidnotwaketillthesunwashigh。
CHAPTERXIV。
THESCHOOLROOM。
OldSimmons,thebutler,wokehim。
“Iwasafraidsomethingwasthematter,sir。Theytellmeyoudidnotcomedownlastnight;andbreakfasthasbeenwaitingyoutwohours。“
“Ishouldnothaveknownwheretofindit,“saidDonal。“Theknowledgeofanoldcastleisnotintuitive。“
“Howlongwillyoutaketodress?”askedSimmons。
“Tenminutes,ifthereisanyhurry,“answeredDonal。
“Iwillcomeagainintwenty;or,ifyouarewillingtosaveanoldman'sbones,Iwillbeatthebottomofthestairatthattimetotakechargeofyou。Iwouldhavelookedafteryouyesterday,buthislordshipwaspoorly,andIhadtobeinattendanceonhimtillaftermidnight。“
Donalthoughtitimpossibleheshouldofhimselfhavefoundhiswaytotheschoolroom。Withallhecoulddotoremembertheturnings,hefoundtheendeavourhopeless,andgaveitupwithanotunpleasingdespair。Throughstrangepassages,throughdoorsinalldirections,upstairsanddowntheywent,andatlastcametoalong,lowroom,barelyfurnished,withapleasantoutlook,andimmediateaccesstotheopenair。Thewindowswereuponasmallgrassycourt,withasundialinthecentre;adooropenedonapavedcourt。Atoneendoftheroomatablewaslaidwithtentimesasmanythingsashecoulddesiretoeat,thoughhecametoitwithagoodappetite。Thebutlerhimselfwaiteduponhim。Hewasagood-naturedoldfellow,withanosesomewhattooredfortheordinarywearofoneinhisresponsibleposition。
“Ihopetheearlisbetterthismorning,“saidDonal。
“Well,Ican'tsay。He'sbutadelicatemanistheearl,andhasbeen,solongasIhaveknownhim。HewaswiththearmyinIndia,andthesun,theysay,givehimastroke,andeversincehehaveheadachesthatbad!Butinbetweenheseemsprettywell,andnothingdispleaseshimmorethanaskafterhishealth,orhowheslepthenight。Buthe'sagoodmaster,andIhopetoendmydayswithhim。I'mnotoneaslikesnewfacesandnewplaces!Onegoodplaceisenoughforme,saysI——solongasitisagoodone——Takesomeofthisgamepie,sir。“
Donalmadehastewithhisbreakfast,andtoSimmons'sastonishmenthadendedwhenhethoughthimjustwellbegun。
“HowshallIfindmasterDavie?”heasked。
“Heiswildtoseeyou,sir。WhenI'veclearedaway,justhavethegoodnesstoringthisbelloutofthatwindow,andhe'llbewithyouasfastashecanlayhisfeettotheground。“
Donalrangthehandbell。Ashoutmingledwiththeclangofit。
Thencametherunningofswiftfeetoverthestonesofthecourt,andDavieburstintotheroom。
“Oh,sir,“hecried,“Iamglad!Itisgoodofyoutocome!”
“Well,yousee,Davie,“returnedDonal,“everybodyhasgottodosomethingtocarrytheworldonabit:myworkistohelpmakeamanofyou。OnlyIcan'tdomuchexceptyouhelpme;andifIfindIamnotmakingagoodjobofyou,Ishan'tstopmanyhoursafterthediscovery。Ifyouwanttokeepme,youmustmindwhatIsay,andsohelpmetomakeamanofyou。“
“ItwillbelongbeforeIamaman!”saidDavieratherdisconsolately。
“Itdependsonyourself。Theboythatislongestinbecomingaman,istheboythatthinkshimselfamanbeforeheisabitlikeone。“
“Comethen,letusdosomething!”saidDavie。
“Comeaway,“rejoinedDonal。“Whatshallwedofirst?”
“Idon'tknow:youmusttellme,sir。“
“Whatwouldyoulikebesttodo——Imeanifyoumightdowhatyoupleased?”
Daviethoughtalittle,thensaid:
“Ishouldliketowriteabook。“
“Whatkindofabook?”
“Abeautifulstory。“
“Isn'titjustaswelltoreadsuchabook?Whyshouldyouwanttowriteone?”
“BecausethenIshouldhaveitgojustasIwantedit!Iamalways——almostalways——disappointedwiththethingthatcomesnext。
ButifIwroteitmyself,thenIshouldn'tgettiredofit;itwouldbewhatpleasedme,andnotwhatpleasedsomebodyelse。“
“Well,“saidDonal,afterthinkingforamoment,“supposeyoubegintowriteabook!”
“Oh,thatwillbefun!——muchbetterthanlearningverbsandnouns!”
“Buttheverbsandnounsarejustthethingsthatgotomakeastory——withnotafewadjectivesandadverbs,andahostofconjunctions;and,ifitbeaverymovingstory,agoodmanyinterjections!Theseallyouhavegottoputtogetherwithgoodchoice,orthestorywillnotbeoneyouwouldcaretoread——PerhapsyouhadbetternotbegintillIseewhetheryouknowenoughaboutthoseverbsandnounstodothethingdecently。Showmeyourschool-books。“
“Theretheyallare——onthatshelf!Ihaven'topenedoneofthemsincePercycamehome。Helaughedatthemall,andsoArkie——that'sladyArctura,toldhimhemightteachmehimself。Andhewouldn't;
andshewouldn't——withhimtolaughather。AndI'vehadsuchajollytimeeversince——readingbooksoutofthelibrary!Haveyouseenthelibrary,Mr。Grant?”
“No;I'veseennothingyet。Supposewebeginwithaholiday,andyoubeginbyteachingme!”
“Teachingyou,sir!I'mnotabletoteachyou!”
“Why,didn'tyouasmuchasoffertoteachmethelibrary?Can'tyouteachmethisgreatoldcastle?Andaren'tyougoingtoteachyourselftome?”
“Thatwouldbeafunnylesson,sir!”
“Theleastfunny,themostseriouslessonyoucouldteachme!YouareabookGodhasbegun,andhehassentmetohelphimgoonwithit;soImustlearnwhathehaswrittenalreadybeforeItrytodoanything。“
“Butyouknowwhataboyis,sir!Whyshouldyouwanttolearnme?”
“Youmightaswellsaythat,becauseIhavereadoneortwobooks,I
mustknoweverybook。Tounderstandoneboyhelpstounderstandanother,buteveryboyisanewboy,differentfromeveryotherboy,andeveryonehastobeunderstood。“
“Yes——forsometimesArkiewon'thearmeout,andIfeelsocrosswithherIshouldliketogiveheragoodboxontheear。Whatkingwasit,sir,thatmadethelawthatnolady,howeverdisagreeable,wastohaveherearsboxed?Doyouthinkitagoodlaw,sir?”
“Itisgoodforyouandmeanyhow。“
“AndwhenPercysays,'Oh,goaway!don'tbother,'IfeelasifI
couldhithimhard!Yet,ifIhappentohurthim,Iamsosorry!
andwhythenshouldIwanttohurthim?”
“There'ssomethinginthislittlefellow!”saidDonaltohimself。
“Ah,whyindeed?”heanswered。“Youseeyoudon'tunderstandyourselfyet!”
“Noindeed!”
“ThenhowcouldyouthinkIshouldunderstandyouallatonce?——andaboymustbeunderstood,elsewhat'stobecomeofhim!Fancyapoorboylivingallday,andsleepingallnight,andnobodyunderstandinghim!”
“Thatwouldbedreadful!Butyouwillunderstandme?”
“Onlyalittle:I'mnotwiseenoughtounderstandanyboy。“
“Then——butisn'tthatwhatyousaidyoucamefor?——Ithought——“
“Yes,“answeredDonal,“thatiswhatIcamefor;butifIfanciedI
quiteunderstoodanyboy,thatwouldbeasuresignIdidnotunderstandhim——Thereisonewhounderstandseveryboyaswellasiftherewerenootherboyinthewholeworld。“
“Thenwhydoesn'teveryboygotohimwhenhecan'tgetfairplay?”
“Ah,why?ThatisjustwhatIwantyoutodo。Hecandobetterthangiveyoufairplayeven:hecanmakeyougiveotherpeoplefairplay,anddelightinit。“
“Tellmewhereheis。“
“ThatiswhatIhavetoteachyou:meretellingisnotmuchuse。
Tellingiswhatmakespeoplethinktheyknowwhentheydonot,andmakesthemfoolish。“
“Whatishisname?”
“Iwillnottellyouthatjustyet;forthenyouwouldthinkyouknewhim,whenyouknewnexttonothingabouthim。Lookhere;lookatthisbook,“hewenton,pullingacopyofBoethiusfromhispocket;“lookatthenameonthebackofit:itisthenameofthemanthatwrotethebook。“
Daviespelleditout。
“Nowyouknowallaboutthebook,don'tyou?”
“No,sir;Idon'tknowanythingaboutit。“
“Wellthen,myfather'snameisRobertGrant:youknownowwhatagoodmanheis!”
“No,Idon't。Ishouldliketoseehimthough!”
“Youwouldlovehimifyoudid!Butyouseenowthatknowingthenameofapersondoesnotmakeyouknowtheperson。“
“Butyousaid,sir,thatifyoutoldmethenameofthatperson,I
shouldfancyIknewallabouthim:Idon'tfancyIknowallaboutyourfathernowyouhavetoldmehisname!”
“Youhavemethere!”answeredDonal。“IdidnotsayquitewhatI
oughttohavesaid。Ishouldhavesaidthatwhenweknowalittleaboutaperson,andareusedtohearinghisname,thenwearereadytothinkweknowallabouthim。Iheardamantheotherday——amanwhohadneverspokentoyourfather——talkasifheknewallabouthim。“
“IthinkIunderstand,“saidDavie。
Toconfessignoranceistoloserespectwiththeignorantwhowouldappeartoknow。Butthereisaworsethingthantolosetherespectevenofthewise——todeservetoloseit;andthathedoeswhowouldgainarespectthatdoesnotbelongtohim。Butaconfessionofignoranceisagroundofrespectwithawell-bredchild,andevenwithmanyordinaryboyswillraiseaman'sinfluence:theyrecognizehisloyaltytothetruth。Act-truthisinfinitelymorethanfact-truth;theloveofthetruthinfinitelybeyondtheknowledgeofit。
Theywentouttogether,andwhentheyhadgonetheroundoftheplaceoutside,Daviewouldhavetakenhimoverthehouse;butDonalsaidtheywouldleavesomethingforanothertime,andmadehimliedownfortenminutes。Thistheboythoughtagreathardship,butDonalsawthatheneededtobetaughttorest。Tentimesinthosetenminuteshewasonthepointofjumpingup,butDonalfoundawordsufficienttorestrainhim。Whenthetenminuteswereover,hesethimanadditionsum。Theboyprotestedheknewalltherulesofarithmetic。
“But,“saidDonal,“Imustknowthatyouknowthem;thatismybusiness。Dothisone,howevereasyitis。“
Theboyobeyed,andbroughthimthesum——incorrect。
“Now,Davie,“saidDonal,“yousaidyouknewallaboutaddition,butyouhavenotdonethissumcorrectly。“
“Ihaveonlymadeablunder,sir。“
“Butaruleisnoruleifitisnotcarriedout。Everythinggoesonthesuppositionofitsbeingitself,andnotsomethingelse。Peoplethattalkaboutgoodthingswithoutdoingthemareleftout。Youarenotmasterofadditionuntilyouradditionistobedependedupon。“
Theboyfoundithardtofixhisattention:tofixitonsomethinghedidnotyetunderstand,wouldbetoohard!hemustlearntodosointhepursuitofaccuracywherehealreadyunderstood!thenhewouldnothavetofighttwodifficultiesatonce——thatofunderstanding,andthatoffixinghisattention。Butforalongtimeheneverkepthimmorethanaquarterofanhouratworkonthesamething。
Whenhehaddonethesumcorrectly,andasecondwithoutneedofcorrection,hetoldhimtolayhisslateaside,andhewouldtellhimafairy-story。Thereinhesucceededtolerably——intheopinionofDavie,wonderfully:whatatutorwasthis,wholetfairiesintotheschool-room!
Thetalewasofnoveryoriginalconstruction——theyoungestbrothergaininginthepathofrighteousnesswhattheelderbrotherslosethroughmasterfulselfishness。Amanmustdoathingbecauseitisright,evenifhedieforit;buttruthwerepoorindeedifitdidnotbringatlastallthingssubjecttoit!Asbeautyandtruthareone,soaretruthandstrengthone。MustGodbeeveronthecross,thatwepoorworshippersmaypayhimourhighesthonour?Isitnotenoughtoknowthatifthedevilwerethegreater,yetwouldnotGoddohimhomage,butwouldhangforeveronhiscross?Truthisjoyandvictory。Thetrueheroisadjudgedtobliss,norcaninthenatureofthings,thatis,ofGod,escapeit。Hewhoholdsbylifeandresistsdeath,mustbevictorious;hisverylifeisaslayingofdeath。Amanmaydieforhisopinion,andmayonlybelivingtohimself:amanwhodiesforthetruth,diestohimselfandtoallthatisnottrue。
“Whatabeautifulstory!”criedDaviewhenitceased。“Wheredidyougetit,Mr。Grant?”
“Whereallstoriescomefrom。“
“Whereisthat?”
“TheThink-book。“
“Whatafunnyname!Ineverheardit!Willitbeinthelibrary?”
“No;itisinnolibrary。ItisthebookGodisalwayswritingatoneend,andblottingoutattheother。Itismadeofthoughts,notwords。ItistheThink-book。“
“NowIunderstand!Yougotthestoryoutofyourownhead!”
“Yes,perhaps。Buthowdiditgetintomyhead?”
“Ican'ttellthat。Nobodycantellthat!”
“Nobodycanthatnevergoesupabovehisownhead——thatnevershutstheThink-book,andstandsuponit。Whenonedoes,thentheThink-bookswellstoagreatmountainandliftshimupabovealltheworld:thenheseeswherethestoriescomefrom,andhowtheygetintohishead——Areyoutohavearideto-day?”
“IrideornotjustasIlike。“
“Well,wewillnowdojustaswebothlike,Ihope,anditwillbetwolikesinsteadofone——thatis,ifwearetruefriends。“
“Weshallhetruefriends——thatweshall!”
“Howcanthatbe——betweenalittleboylikeyou,andagrownmanlikeme?”
“Bymebeinggood。“
“Bybothofusbeinggood——nootherway。Ifoneofusonlywasgood,wecouldneverbetruefriends。Imustbegoodaswellasyou,elseweshallneverunderstandeachother!”
“Howkindyouare,Mr。Grant!Youtreatmejustlikeanotherone!”
saidDavie。
“ButwemustnotforgetthatIamthebigoneandyouthelittleone,andthatwecan'tbetheotheronetoeachotherexceptthelittleonedoeswhatthebigonetellshim!That'sthewaytofitintoeachother。“
“Oh,ofcourse!”answeredDavie,asiftherecouldnotbetwomindsaboutthat。
CHAPTERXV。
HORSEANDMAN。
Duringthefirstdayandthenext,Donaldidnotevencomeinsightofanyotherofthefamily;butonthethirdday,aftertheirshortearlyschool——forheseldomletDavieworktillhewastired,andneverafter——goingwithhimthroughthestable-yard,theycameuponlordForgueashemountedhishorse——anervous,fiery,thin-skinnedthoroughbred。Themomenthismasterwasonhim,hebegantobackandrear。Forguegavehimacutwithhiswhip。Hewentwild,plunginganddancingandkicking。Theyounglordwasahorsemaninthesenseofhavingagoodseat;butheknewlittleabouthorses;
theyweretohimcreaturestobecompelled,notfriendswithwhomtoholdsweetconcert。Hehadnotlearnedthattoruleillisworsethantoobeyill。Kingsmaybeworsethanitisinthepowerofanysubjecttobe。Ashewasraisinghisarmforaseconduseless,cruel,anddangerousblow,Donaldartedtothehorse'shead。
“Youmustn'tdothat,mylord!”hesaid。“You'lldrivehimmad。“
ButtheworstpartofForgue'snaturewasuppermost,inhisrageallthevicesofhisfamilyrushedtothetop。HelookeddownonDonalwithafurycheckedonlybycontempt。
“Keepoff,“hesaid,“oritwillbetheworseforyou。Whatdoyouknowabouthorses?”
“Enoughtoknowthatyouarenotfairtohim。Iwillnotletyoustrikethepooranimal。Justlookatthiswater-chain!”
“Holdyourtongue,andstandaway,or,by——“
“Yewinnafrichtme,sir,“saidDonal,whoseEnglishwould,foryears,uponanyexcitement,turncowardlyandrunaway,leavinghismother-tonguetobearthebrunt,“——I'mnotimorsome。“
ForguebroughtdownhiswhipwithagreatstingingblowuponDonal'sshoulderandback。ThefiercebloodofthehighlandCeltrushedtohisbrain,andhadnotthemaninhimheldbyGodandtrampledonthedevil,theremightthenhavebeenmiserablework。Butthoughheclenchedhisteeth,hefetteredhishands,andruledhistongue,andtheMasterofmenwasmasterstill。
“Mylord,“hesaid,afteroneinstant'sthunderoussilence,“there'sthati'mewadthinkaslittleo'throttlin'yeasyeduo'
ill-usin'yerpuirbeast。ButI'mnogaein'todrophisquarrel,an'takupmyain:thatwadbecooardly。“Herehepattedthecreature'sneck,andrecoveringhiscomposureandhisEnglish,wenton。“Itellyou,mylord,thecurb-chainistootight!Theanimalissufferingasyoucanhavenoconceptionof,oryouwouldpityhim。“
“Lethimgo,“criedForgue,“orIwillmakeyou。“
Heraisedhiswhipagain,themoreenragedthatthegroomstoodlookingonwithhismouthopen。
“Itellyourlordship,“saidDonal,“itismyturntostrike;andifyouhittheanimalagainbeforethatchainisslackened,Iwillpitchyououtofthesaddle。“
ForanswerForguestruckthehorseoverthehead。Thesamemomenthewasontheground;Donalhadtakenhimbythelegandthrownhimoff。Hewasnothorsemanenoughtokeephisholdofthereins,andDonalledthehorsealittlewayoff,andlefthimtogetupinsafety。Thepooranimalwaspouringwithsweat,shiveringandtrembling,yetthrowinghisheadbackeverymoment。Donalcouldscarcelyundothechain;itwastwisted——hislordshiphadfastenedithimself——andsharpedgespressedhisjawattheleasttouchoftherein。Hehadnotyetrehookedit,whenForguewasuponhimwithasecondblowofhiswhip。Thehorsewasscaredafreshatthesound,anditwasallhecoulddotoholdhim,buthesucceededatlengthincalminghim。Whenhelookedabouthim,Forguewasgone。
Heledthehorseintothestable,puthiminhisstall,andproceededtounsaddlehim。Thenfirsthewasre-awareofthepresenceofDavie。Theboywasstamping——withfierceeyesandwhiteface——chokingwithsilentrage。
“Davie,mychild!”saidDonal,andDavierecoveredhispowerofspeech。
“I'llgoandtellmyfather!”hesaid,andmadeforthestabledoor。
“Whichofusareyougoingtotellupon?”askedDonalwithasmile。
“Percy,ofcourse!”hereplied,almostwithascream。“Youareagoodman,Mr。Grant,andheisabadfellow。Myfatherwillgiveithimwell。Hedoesn'toften——butoh,can'thejust!Todaretostrikeyou!I'llgotohimatonce,whetherhe'sinbedornot!”
“No,youwon't,myboy!Listentome。Somepeoplethinkit'sadisgracetobestruck:Ithinkitadisgracetostrike。Ihavearightoveryourbrotherbythatblow,andImeantokeepit——forhisgood。Youdidn'tthinkIwasafraidofhim?”
“No,no;anybodycouldseeyouweren'tabitafraidofhim。Iwouldhavestruckhimagainifhehadkilledmeforit!”
“Idon'tdoubtyouwould。Butwhenyouunderstand,youwillnotbesoreadytostrike。Icouldhavekilledyourbrothermoreeasilythanheldhishorse。Youdon'tknowhowstrongIam,orwhatablowofmyfistwouldbetoadelicatefellowlikethat。Ihopehisfallhasnothurthim。“
“Ihopeithas——alittle,Imean,onlyalittle,“saidtheboy,lookinginthefaceofhistutor。“Buttellmewhyyoudidnotstrikehim。Itwouldbegoodforhimtobewellbeaten。“
“Itwill,Ihope,bebetterforhimtobewellforgiven:hewillbeashamedofhimselfthesooner,Ithink。ButwhyIdidnotstrikehimwas,thatIamnotmyownmaster。“
“Butmyfather,Iamsure,wouldnothavebeenangrywithyou。Hewouldhavesaidyouhadarighttodoit。“
“Perhaps;buttheearlisnotthemasterImean。“
“Whois,then?”
“JesusChrist。“
“O——oh!”
“HesaysImustnotreturnevilforevil,ablowforablow。I
don'tmindwhatpeoplesayaboutit:hewouldnothavemedisgracemyself!Henevereventhreatenedthosethatstruckhim。“
“Buthewasn'taman,youknow!”
“Notaman!Whatwashethen?”
“HewasGod,youknow。“
“Andisn'tGodaman——andeversomuchmorethanaman?”
Theboymadenoanswer,andDonalwenton。
“DoyouthinkGodwouldhavehischilddoanythingdisgraceful?
Why,Davie,youdon'tknowyourownFather!WhatGodwantsofusistobedown-righthonest,anddowhathetellsuswithoutfear。“
Daviewassilent。Hisconsciencereprovedhim,astheconscienceofatrue-heartedboywillreprovehimattheverymentionofthenameofGod,untilhesetshimselfconsciouslytodohiswill。Donalsaidnomore,andtheywentfortheirwalk。
CHAPTERXVI。
COLLOQUIES。
IntheeveningDonalwenttoseeAndrewComin。
“Weel,hooareyegettin'onwi'theyerl?”askedthecobbler。
“Yousetmeagoodexampleofsayingnothingabouthim,“answeredDonal;“andIwillfollowit——atleasttillIknowmore:Ihavescarceseenhimyet。“
“That'sright!”returnedthecobblerwithsatisfaction。“I'mthinkin'ye'llbeaneo'thefeow'atcanruletheiranehoose——thatis,haudtheiraintonguestillthehoorforspeechbecome。Stickyetothat,mydearsir,an'mairi'llbeweelnoringeneralisweel。“
“I'mcometoyeforabito'helpthough;Iwantlichtuponaqueston'at'slangtribletme——Whatthinkye?——hoofardoesthecomman'laidupo''s,astowarfare'atweenmanan'man,reach?Arewenevertaraisethehan'tohumanbein',thinkye?”
“Weel,Ihaethouchtaheapabootit,an'Idaurnasay'atI'mjistabsoluteclearupo'themaitter。Buttheremaybepairtclearwhaura''snoclear;an'bywhatweun'erstan'wecomethenearertowhatwedinnaun'erstan'。There'saethinguncoplain——'atwe'reonnoaccoonttoreturnevilforevil:onybody'atca'shimsel'aChristianmaunun'erstan'thatmuckle。We'retogienoplacetorevenge,insideoroot。Thereforewe'renotogieblowforblow。
Gienamanhitye,ye'retotakeiti'God'sname。Butwhetherthingsmaynacometoap'intwhauratye'rebu'n',stilli'God'sname,todefen'thelifeGodhasgienye,Icannasay——Ihaenathelichttojustifeemeindenyin''t。Theremaunsurely,Ihaesaidtomysel',beatimewhanamanmayhaetoduwhatGoddissaeaften——makuseo'thestronghan'!Butit'sclearhemaunnado'tinrage——that'sowernearhate——an'hate'sthedeevil'sain。Amanmay,gienhelivevarraneartheLord,bewhilesangryohnsinned:
butthewratho'manworkethnottherichteousnesso'God;an'thewraththatrisesi'themidso'encoonter,isnoliketobeo'thenaturo'divinewrath。Towinatit,gien'tbepossible,lat'sconsidertheLord——hoohedid。There'snowordo'himeverliftin'
han'toprotec'himsel'。Theonlythinglikeitwasforithers。Togarthemlathisdisciplesalane——maybetilltheywarlikeeneuchtilhimsel'notorin,hepatootmairnorhishan'upo'them'atcamtotakhim:hestrakthemsairwi'thepooeritsel''atmuvsa'
airms。Butnovarrasairnaither——hebutknockitthemdoon!——jisttolatthemkentheywartoduashebadethem,an'lathisfowkbe;——an'maybetolatthemken'atgienhelootthemtakhim,itwasno'athecouldnahin'erthemgienhelikit。Icannahelpthinkin'
wemaystan'upforitherfowk。An'I'mnosayin''atwearenatodefen'oorselsfraeasetattackwi'design——Butthere'ssomethingo'mairimportanceyetnorkennin'therichto'onyqueston。“
“Whatcanthatbe?Whatcanbeo'mairimportancenordoin'richti'thesichto'God?”saidDonal。
“Bein'richtwi'thevarrathouchto'God,sae'atwecannamistak,butmaunkenjistwhathewadhaedune。That'sthebigRicht,themothero'a'thelaveo'therichts。That'stobeasthemaisterwas。Onygait,whateverwedu,itmaunbesicastobedune,an'itmaunbedunei'thenameo'God;whanwedunaethingwemaunduthatnaethingi'thenameo'God。Abodymayweelsay,'OLord,thoohasnalattenmeseewhatIouchttodu,saeI'lldunaething!'Gienamanoughttodefen'himsel',butdisnadu't,'causehethinksGodwadnahaehimdu't,wullGodlea'himoondefentforthat?Orgienabodystan'supi'thenameo'God,an'frontsanairmyo'enemies,divyethinkGod'illforsakehim'causehe'smadeamistak?
Whatever'sdunewantin'faithmaunbesin——itcannahelpit;
whatever'sduneinfaithcannabesin,thoughitmaybeamistak。
Onlylatnaamantakpresumptionforfaith!that'safearsomemistak,forit'sjisttheopposite。“
“Ithankye,“saidDonal。“I'llconsiderwi'mybestendeevourwhatyehaesaid。“
“Buto'a'things,“resumedthecobbler,“luik'atyelo'efairplay。
Fairplay'sawon'erfu'word——agran'thingconstantlylostsichto'。Man,Ihaebeentryin'towinattheduin'o'therichtthismonyayear,butIdaurnayetlatmysel'ac'upo'thespuro'themomentwhaurmyainenterest'sconcernt:myainsidemichtyetblin'metotheitherman'ssideo'thebusiness。Onybodycanun'erstan'hisainricht,butittakstriblean'thouchttoun'erstan'whatanithercoontshisricht。Twarichtscannaweelclash。It'sawrangan'aricht,orpairtwrangan'apairtricht'atclashes。“
“Giena'bodydidthat,Idoobttherewadbefeowfortinsmade!”saidDonal。
“AbootthatIcannasay,nokennin';IdaurnadiscoveralawwhaurI
haenaknowledge!Butthissamefairplaylies,alangwi'love,atthevarraruteandf'undationo'theuniverse。Thetheologianshadaglimmero'thefac'whantheymadesaemuckleo'justice,onlytheirjusticeissicameeserablesma'bitplaistereemageo'
justice,'atitmaistgarsanhonestbodylauch。Theyseemtomelikeshepherds'atrivedoonthedoor-posts,an'syneblockupthedoorwi'them。“
DonaltoldhimofthequarrelhehadhadwithlordForgue,andaskedhimwhetherhethoughthehaddoneright。
“Weel,“answeredthecobbler,“I'masfarfraeblamin'youasIamfraejustifeein'theyoonglord。“
“Heseemstomeafinekin'o'alad,“saidDonal,“thoughsomeowerbeirin'。“
“Thelikeso'himaremairtobeexcusedforthatnoritherfowk,fortheyhaegreatdisadvantagesi'thepositionan'theupbringin'。
It'snoeasyforhim'at'sbrouchtupalordtobelievehe'sjistanewi'thelave。“
Donalwentforastrollthroughthetown,andmettheminister,buthetooknonoticeofhim。Hewasgreatlyannoyedatthemarchwhichhesaidthefellowhadstolenuponhim,andregardedhimasonewhohadtakenanunfairadvantageofhim。Buthehadlittleinfluenceatthecastle。Theearlneverbyanychancewenttochurch。Hisniece,ladyArctura,did,however,andheldtheministerforanauthorityatthingsspiritual——oneofwhomlivingwaterwastobehadwithoutmoneyandwithoutprice。Butwhatshecountedspiritualthingswereverycommonearthlystuff,andforthewater,itwasbutstagnantwaterfromtheditchesofashamtheology。Onlywhatwasapoorgirltodowhodidnotknowhowtofeedherself,butapplytoonewhopretendedtobeabletofeedothers?Howwasshetoknowthathecouldnotevenfeedhimself?Outofmanyadifficultyshethoughthehelpedher——onlythedifficultywouldpresentlyclaspheragain,andshemustdealwithitasshebestcould,untilanewonemadeherforgetit,andgototheminister,orrathertohisdaughter,again。Shewasoneofthosewhofeeltheneedofsomehelptolive——someupholdingthatisnotofthemselves,butwho,throughthestupidityofteachersunconsciouslyfalse,——mensounfitthattheydonotknowtheyareunfit,directtheirefforts,firsttowardshavingcorrectnotions,thentoworkupthefeelingsthatbelongtothosenotions。Shewasanhonestgirlsofarasshehadbeentaught——perhapsnotsofarasshemighthavebeenwithouthavingbeentaught。HowwasshetothinkarightwithscarceaglimmerofGod'struth?HowwasshetopleaseGod,asshecalledit,whothoughtofhiminawayrepulsivetoeverylovingsoul?HowwasshetobeacceptedofGod,whodidnotacceptherownneighbour,butlookeddown,withoutknowingit,uponsomanyofherfellow-creatures?Howshouldsuchaoneeitherenjoyorrecommendherreligion?Itwouldhavebeentheworseforherifshehadenjoyedit——theworseforothersifshehadrecommendedit!
ReligionissimplythewayhometotheFather。Therewaslittleofthepathinherreligionexceptthedifficultyofit。Thetruewayisdifficultenoughbecauseofourunchildlikeness——uphill,steep,anddifficult,butthereisfreshlifeoneverysurmountedheight,apurerairgained,evermorelifeformoreclimbing。Butthepaththatisnotthetrueoneisnotthereforeeasy。Uphillishardwalking,butthroughabogisworse。ThosewhoseekGodwiththeirfacesnoteventurnedtowardshim,who,insteadofbeholdingtheFatherintheSon,takethestupidestopinionsconcerninghimandhiswaysfromothermen——whatshouldtheydobutgowanderingondarkmountains,spendingtheirstrengthinavoidingprecipicesandgettingoutofbogs,mourningandsighingovertheirsinsinsteadofleavingthembehindandfleeingtotheFather,whomtoknowiseternallife。DidtheybutsetthemselvestofindoutwhatChristknewandmeantandcommanded,andthentodoit,theywouldsoonforgettheirfalseteachers。Butalas!theygoonbowingbeforelong-faced,big-wordedauthority——themorefatallywhenitisembodiedinagoodmanwho,himselfavictimtofaithinmen,seestheSonofGodonlythroughthetheoriesofothers,andnotwiththesightofhisownspiritualeyes。
Donalhadnotyetseenthelady。Heneitherate,sat,norheldintercoursewiththefamily。AwayfromDavie,hespenthistimeinhistowerchamber,oroutofdoors。Allthegroundswereopentohimexceptawalledgardenonthesouth-easternslope,lookingtowardsthesea,whichtheearlkeptforhimself,thoughherarelywalkedinit。Onthesideofthehillawayfromthetown,wasalargeparkreachingdowntotheriver,andstretchingalongwayupitsbank——withfinetrees,andgloriousoutlookstotheseainonedirection,andtothemountainsintheother。HereDonalwouldoftenwander,nowwithabook,nowwithDavie。Theboy'spresencewasrarelyaninterruptiontohisthoughtswhenhewantedtothink。
第3章