首页 >出版文学> DON JUAN>第12章

第12章

  IshouldbeverywillingtoredressMen'swrongs,andrathercheckthanpunishcrimes,HadnotCervantes,inthattootruetaleOfQuixote,shownhowallsucheffortsfail。
  Ofalltales'tisthesaddest-andmoresad,Becauseitmakesussmile:hishero'sright,Andstillpursuestheright;-tocurbthebadHisonlyobject,and'gainstoddstofightHisguerdon:'tishisvirtuemakeshimmad!
  Buthisadventuresformasorrysight;
  AsorrierstillisthegreatmoraltaughtBythatrealepicuntoallwhohavethought。
  Redressinginjury,revengingwrong,Toaidthedamselanddestroythecaitiff;
  Opposingsinglytheunitedstrong,Fromforeignyoketofreethehelplessnative:-
  Alas!mustnoblestviews,likeanoldsong,Beformerefancy'ssportathemecreative,Ajest,ariddle,Famethroughthinandthicksought!
  AndSocrateshimselfbutWisdom'sQuixote?
  CervantessmiledSpain'schivalryaway;
  Asinglelaughdemolish'dtherightarmOfhisowncountry;-seldomsincethatdayHasSpainhadheroes。WhileRomancecouldcharm,Theworldgavegroundbeforeherbrightarray;
  Andthereforehavehisvolumesdonesuchharm,Thatalltheirglory,asacomposition,Wasdearlypurchasedbyhisland'sperdition。
  I'm'atmyoldlunes'-digression,andforgetTheLadyAdelineAmundeville;
  ThefairmostfatalJuanevermet,Althoughshewasnotevilnormeantill;
  ButDestinyandPassionspreadthenetFateisagoodexcuseforourownwill,Andcaughtthem;-whatdotheynotcatch,methinks?
  ButI'mnotOEdipus,andlife'saSphinx。
  Itellthetaleasitistold,nordareToventureasolution:'Davussum!'
  AndnowIwillproceeduponthepair。
  SweetAdeline,amidstthegayworld'shum,WastheQueen-Bee,theglassofallthat'sfair;
  Whosecharmsmadeallmenspeak,andwomendumb。
  Thelast'samiracle,andsuchwasreckon'd,Andsincethattimetherehasnotbeenasecond。
  Chastewasshe,todetraction'sdesperation,Andweddeduntooneshehadlovedwell-
  Amanknowninthecouncilsofthenation,Cool,andquiteEnglish,imperturbable,Thoughapttoactwithfireuponoccasion,Proudofhimselfandher:theworldcouldtellNoughtagainsteither,andbothseem'dsecure-
  Sheinhervirtue,heinhishauteur。
  Itchancedsomediplomaticalrelations,Arisingoutofbusiness,oftenbroughtHimselfandJuanintheirmutualstationsIntoclosecontact。Thoughreserved,norcaughtByspeciousseeming,Juan'syouth,andpatience,Andtalent,onhishaughtyspiritwrought,Andform'dabasisofesteem,whichendsInmakingmenwhatcourtesycallsfriends。
  AndthusLordHenry,whowascautiousasReserveandpridecouldmakehim,andfullslowInjudgingmen-whenoncehisjudgmentwasDetermined,rightorwrong,onfriendorfoe,Hadallthepertinacitypridehas,Whichknowsnoebbtoitsimperiousflow,Andlovesorhates,disdainingtobeguided,Becauseitsowngoodpleasurehathdecided。
  Hisfriendships,therefore,andnolessaversions,Thoughoftwellfounded,whichconfirm'dbutmoreHisprepossessions,likethelawsofPersiansAndMedes,wouldne'errevokewhatwentbefore。
  Hisfeelingshadnotthosestrangefits,liketertians,Ofcommonlikings,whichmakesomedeploreWhattheyshouldlaughat-themereaguestillOfmen'sregard,thefeverorthechill。
  ''Tisnotinmortalstocommandsuccess:
  Butdoyoumore,Sempronius-don'tdeserveit,'
  Andtakemyword,youwon'thaveanyless。
  Bewary,watchthetime,andalwaysserveit;
  Givegentlyway,whenthere'stoogreatapress;
  Andforyourconscience,onlylearntonerveit,For,likearacer,oraboxertraining,'Twillmake,ifproved,vasteffortswithoutpaining。
  LordHenryalsolikedtobesuperior,Asmostmendo,thelittleorthegreat;
  Theverylowestfindoutaninferior,Atleasttheythinkso,toexerttheirstateUpon:forthereareveryfewthingswearierThansolitaryPride'soppressiveweight,Whichmortalsgenerouslywoulddivide,Bybiddingotherscarrywhiletheyride。
  Inbirth,inrank,infortunelikewiseequal,O'erJuanhecouldnodistinctionclaim;
  Inyearshehadtheadvantageoftime'ssequel;
  And,ashethought,incountrymuchthesame-
  BecauseboldBritonshaveatongueandfreequill,Atwhichallmodernnationsvainlyaim;
  AndtheLordHenrywasagreatdebater,Sothatfewmemberskeptthehouseuplater。
  Thesewereadvantages:andthenhethought-
  Itwashisfoible,butbynomeanssinister-
  ThatfewornonemorethanhimselfhadcaughtCourtmysteries,havingbeenhimselfaminister:
  Helikedtoteachthatwhichhehadbeentaught,Andgreatlyshonewhenevertherehadbeenastir;
  Andreconciledallqualitieswhichgraceman,Alwaysapatriot,andsometimesaplaceman。
  HelikedthegentleSpaniardforhisgravity;
  Healmosthonour'dhimforhisdocility;
  Because,thoughyoung,heacquiescedwithsuavity,Orcontradictedbutwithproudhumility。
  Heknewtheworld,andwouldnotseedepravityInfaultswhichsometimesshowthesoil'sfertility,Ifthattheweedso'erlivenotthefirstcrop-
  Forthentheyareverydifficulttostop。
  Andthenhetalk'dwithhimaboutMadrid,Constantinople,andsuchdistantplaces;
  Wherepeoplealwaysdidastheywerebid,Ordidwhattheyshouldnotwithforeigngraces。
  Ofcoursersalsospakethey:HenryridWell,likemostEnglishmen,andlovedtheraces;
  AndJuan,likeatrue-bornAndalusian,Couldbackahorse,asdespotsrideaRussian。
  Andthusacquaintancegrew,atnoblerouts,Anddiplomaticdinners,oratother-
  ForJuanstoodwellbothwithInsandOuts,Asinfreemasonryahigherbrother。
  UponhistalentHenryhadnodoubts;
  Hismannershow'dhimsprungfromahighmother;
  AndallmenliketoshowtheirhospitalityTohimwhosebreedingmatcheswithhisquality。
  AtBlank-BlankSquare;-forwewillbreaknosquaresBynamingstreets:sincemenaresocensorious,Andapttosowanauthor'swheatwithtares,Reapingallusionsprivateandinglorious,Wherenoneweredreamtof,untolove'saffairs,Whichwere,orare,oraretobenotorious,ThatthereforedoIpreviouslydeclare,LordHenry'smansionwasinBlank-BlankSquare。
  AlsotherebinanotherpiousreasonFormakingsquaresandstreetsanonymous;
  Whichis,thatthereisscarceasingleseasonWhichdothnotshakesomeverysplendidhouseWithsomeslightheart-quakeofdomestictreason-
  Atopicscandaldothdelighttorouse:
  SuchImightstumbleoverunawares,UnlessIknewtheverychastestsquares。
  'Tistrue,ImighthavechosenPiccadilly,Aplacewherepeccadillosareunknown;
  ButIhavemotives,whetherwiseorsilly,Forlettingthatpuresanctuaryalone。
  ThereforeInamenotsquare,street,place,untilI
  Findonewherenothingnaughtycanbeshown,Avestalshrineofinnocenceofheart:
  AtHenry'smansionthen,inBlank-BlankSquare,WasJuanarecherche,welcomeguest,Asmanyothernoblescionswere;
  Andsomewhohadbuttalentfortheircrest;
  Orwealth,whichisapassporteverywhere;
  Orevenmerefashion,whichindeed'sthebestRecommendation;andtobewelldrestWillveryoftensupersedetherest。
  Andsince'there'ssafetyinamultitudeOfcounsellors,'asSolomonhassaid,Orsomeoneforhim,insomesage,gravemood;-
  Indeedweseethedailyproofdisplay'dInsenates,atthebar,inwordyfeud,Where'ercollectivewisdomcanparade,WhichistheonlycausethatwecanguessOfBritain'spresentwealthandhappiness;-
  Butas'there'ssafety'graftedinthenumber'Ofcounsellors'formen,thusforthesexAlargeacquaintanceletsnotVirtueslumber;
  Orshoulditshake,thechoicewillmoreperplex-
  Varietyitselfwillmoreencumber。
  'Midstmanyrocksweguardmoreagainstwrecks;
  Andthuswithwomen:howsoe'eritshockssome'sSelf-love,there'ssafetyinacrowdofcoxcombs。
  ButAdelinehadnottheleastoccasionForsuchashield,whichleavesbutlittlemeritTovirtueproper,orgoodeducation。
  Herchiefresourcewasinherownhighspirit,Whichjudgedmankindattheirdueestimation;
  Andforcoquetry,shedisdain'dtowearit:
  Secureofadmiration,itsimpressionWasfaint,asofanevery-daypossession。
  Toallshewaspolitewithoutparade;
  Tosomesheshow'dattentionofthatkindWhichflatters,butisflatteryconvey'dInsuchasortascannotleavebehindAtraceunworthyeitherwifeormaid;-
  Agentle,genialcourtesyofmind,Tothosewhowere,orpass'dformeritorious,Justtoconsolesadgloryforbeingglorious;
  Whichisinallrespects,savenowandthen,Adullanddesolateappendage。GazeUpontheshadesofthosedistinguish'dmenWhowereorarethepuppet-showsofpraise,Thepraiseofpersecution;gazeagainOnthemostfavour'd;andamidsttheblazeOfsunsethaloso'erthelaurel-brow'd,Whatcanyerecognise?-agildedcloud。
  TherealsowasofcourseinAdelineThatcalmpatricianpolishintheaddress,Whichne'ercanpasstheequinoctiallineOfanythingwhichnaturewouldexpress;
  Justasamandarinfindsnothingfine,-
  AtleasthismannersuffersnottoguessThatanythingheviewscangreatlyplease。
  Perhapswehaveborrow'dthisfromtheChinese-
  PerhapsfromHorace:his'Niladmirari'
  Waswhathecall'dthe'ArtofHappiness;'
  Anartonwhichtheartistsgreatlyvary,Andhavenotyetattain'dtomuchsuccess。
  However,'tisexpedienttobewary:
  Indifferencecertesdon'tproducedistress;
  AndrashenthusiasmingoodsocietyWerenothingbutamoralinebriety。
  ButAdelinewasnotindifferent:forNowforacommon-place!beneaththesnow,AsavolcanoholdsthelavamoreWithin-etcaetera。ShallIgoon?-No!
  Ihatetohuntdownatiredmetaphor,Solettheoften-usedvolcanogo。
  Poorthing!Howfrequently,bymeandothers,Ithathbeenstirr'duptillitssmokequitesmothers!
  I'llhaveanotherfigureinatrice:-
  Whatsayyoutoabottleofchampagne?
  Frozenintoaveryvinousice,Whichleavesfewdropsofthatimmortalrain,Yetintheverycentre,pastallprice,Aboutaliquidglassfulwillremain;
  AndthisisstrongerthanthestrongestgrapeCoulde'erexpressinitsexpandedshape:
  'Tisthewholespiritbroughttoaquintessence;
  AndthusthechilliestaspectsmayconcentreAhiddennectarunderacoldpresence。
  Andsucharemany-thoughIonlymeantherFromwhomInowdeducethesemorallessons,OnwhichtheMusehasalwayssoughttoenter。
  Andyourcoldpeoplearebeyondallprice,Whenonceyouhavebrokentheirconfoundedice。
  ButafteralltheyareaNorth-WestPassageUntotheglowingIndiaofthesoul;
  AndasthegoodshipssentuponthatmessageHavenotexactlyascertain'dthePoleThoughParry'seffortslookaluckypresage,Thusgentlemenmayrunuponashoal;
  ForifthePole'snotopen,butallfrostAchancestill,'tisavoyageorvessellost。
  AndyoungbeginnersmayaswellcommenceWithquietcruisingo'ertheoceanwoman;
  WhilethosewhoarenotbeginnersshouldhavesenseEnoughtomakeforport,eretimeshallsummonWithhisgreysignal-flag;andthepasttense,Thedreary'Fuimus'ofallthingshuman,Mustbedeclined,whilelife'sthinthread'sspunoutBetweenthegapingheirandgnawinggout。
  Butheavenmustbediverted;itsdiversionIssometimestruculent-butnevermind:
  TheworlduponthewholeisworththeassertionIfbutforcomfortthatallthingsarekind:
  AndthatsamedevilishdoctrineofthePersian,Ofthetwoprinciples,butleavesbehindAsmanydoubtsasanyotherdoctrineHaseverpuzzledFaithwithal,oryokedherin。
  TheEnglishwinter-endinginJuly,TorecommenceinAugust-nowwasdone。
  'Tisthepostilion'sparadise:wheelsfly;
  Onroads,east,south,north,west,thereisarun。
  Butforpost-horseswhofindssympathy?
  Man'spity'sforhimself,orforhisson,AlwayspremisingthatsaidsonatcollegeHasnotcontractedmuchmoredebtthanknowledge。
  TheLondonwinter'sendedinJuly-
  Sometimesalittlelater。Idon'terrInthis:whateverotherblunderslieUponmyshoulders,hereImustaverMyMuseaglassofweatherology;
  Forparliamentisourbarometer:
  Letradicalsitsotheractsattack,Itssessionsformouronlyalmanack。
  Whenitsquicksilver'sdownatzero,-loCoach,chariot,luggage,baggage,equipage!
  WheelswhirlfromCarltonpalacetoSoho,Andhappiesttheywhohorsescanengage;
  Theturnpikesglowwithdust;andRottenRowSleepsfromthechivalryofthisbrightage;
  Andtradesmen,withlongbillsandlongerfaces,Sigh-asthepostboysfastenonthetraces。
  Theyandtheirbills,'Arcadiansboth,'areleftTotheGreekkalendsofanothersession。
  Alas!tothemofreadycashbereft,Whathoperemains?Ofhopethefullpossession,Orgenerousdraft,concededasagift,Atalongdate-tilltheycangetafreshone-
  Hawk'daboutatadiscount,smallorlarge;
  Alsothesolaceofanovercharge。
  Butthesearetrifles。Downwardfliesmylord,Noddingbesidemyladyinhiscarriage。
  Away!away!'Freshhorses!'aretheword,Andchangedasquicklyasheartsaftermarriage;
  Theobsequiouslandlordhaththechangerestored;
  ThepostboyshavenoreasontodisparageTheirfee;buterethewater'dwheelsmayhisshence,Theostlerpleadstooforareminiscence。
  'Tisgranted;andthevaletmountsthedickey-
  Thatgentlemanoflordsandgentlemen;
  Alsomylady'sgentlewoman,tricky,Trick'dout,butmodestmorethanpoet'spenCanpaint,-'CosiviagginoiRicchi!'
  Excuseaforeignslipslopnowandthen,IfbuttoshowI'vetravell'd;andwhat'stravel,Unlessitteachesonetoquoteandcavil?
  TheLondonwinterandthecountrysummerWerewellnighover。'Tisperhapsapity,Whennaturewearsthegownthatdothbecomeher,Tolosethosebestmonthsinasweatycity,Andwaituntilthenightingalegrowsdumber,Listeningdebatesnotverywiseorwitty,Erepatriotstheirtruecountrycanremember;-
  Butthere'snoshootingsavegrousetillSeptember。
  I'vedonewithmytirade。Theworldwasgone;
  Thetwicetwothousand,forwhomearthwasmade,Werevanish'dtobewhattheycallalone-
  Thatis,withthirtyservantsforparade,Asmanyguests,ormore;beforewhomgroanAsmanycovers,duly,daily,laid。
  LetnoneaccuseOldEngland'shospitality-
  Itsquantityisbutcondensedtoquality。
  LordHenryandtheLadyAdelineDepartedliketherestoftheircompeers,Thepeerage,toamansionveryfine;
  TheGothicBabelofathousandyears。
  Nonethanthemselvescouldboastalongerline,Wheretimethroughheroesandthroughbeautiessteers;
  AndoaksasoldenastheirpedigreeToldoftheirsires,atombineverytree。
  AparagraphineverypapertoldOftheirdeparture:suchismodernfame:
  'TispitythatittakesnofartherholdThananadvertisement,ormuchthesame;
  When,eretheinkbedry,thesoundgrowscold。
  TheMorningPostwasforemosttoproclaim-
  'Departure,forhiscountryseat,to-day,LordH。AmundevilleandLadyA。
  'WeunderstandthesplendidhostintendsToentertain,thisautumn,aselectAndnumerouspartyofhisnoblefriends;
  'Midstwhomwehaveheard,fromsourcesquitecorrect,Withmanymorebyrankandfashiondeck'd;
  Alsoaforeignerofhighcondition,TheenvoyofthesecretRussianmission。'
  Andthuswesee-whodoubtstheMorningPost?
  Whosearticlesarelikethe'Thirty-nine,'
  Whichthosemostsweartowhobelievethemmost-
  OurgayRussSpaniardwasordain'dtoshine,Deck'dbytheraysreflectedfromhishost,Withthosewho,Popesays,'greatlydaringdine。'
  'Tisodd,buttrue,-lastwartheNewsaboundedMorewiththesedinnersthanthekill'dorwounded;-
  Asthus:'OnThursdaytherewasagranddinner;
  Present,LordsA。B。C。'-Earls,dukes,bynameAnnouncedwithnolesspompthanvictory'swinner:
  Thenunderneath,andintheverysameColumn;date,'Falmouth。TherehaslatelybeenhereTheSlap-dashregiment,sowellknowntofame,Whoselossinthelateactionweregret:
  Thevacanciesarefill'dup-seeGazette。'
  ToNormanAbbeywhirl'dthenoblepair,-
  Anold,oldmonasteryonce,andnowStilloldermansion;ofarichandrareMix'dGothic,suchasartistsallallowFewspecimensyetleftuscancompareWithal:itliesperhapsalittlelow,Becausethemonkspreferr'dahillbehind,Tosheltertheirdevotionfromthewind。
  Itstoodembosom'dinahappyvalley,Crown'dbyhighwoodlands,wheretheDruidoakStoodlikeCaractacusinacttorallyHishost,withbroadarms'gainstthethunderstroke;
  AndfrombeneathhisboughswereseentosallyThedappledforesters-asdayawoke,Thebranchingstagsweptdownwithallhisherd,Toquaffabrookwhichmurmur'dlikeabird。
  Beforethemansionlayalucidlake,Broadastransparent,deep,andfreshlyfedByariver,whichitssoften'dwaydidtakeIncurrentsthroughthecalmerwaterspreadAround:thewildfowlnestledinthebrakeAndsedges,broodingintheirliquidbed:
  Thewoodsslopeddownwardstoitsbrink,andstoodWiththeirgreenfacesfix'dupontheflood。
  Itsoutletdash'dintoadeepcascade,Sparklingwithfoam,untilagainsubsiding,Itsshrillerechoes-likeaninfantmadeQuiet-sankintosofterripples,glidingIntoarivulet;andthusallay'd,Pursueditscourse,nowgleaming,andnowhidingItswindingsthroughthewoods;nowclear,nowblue,Accordingastheskiestheirshadowsthrew。
  AgloriousremnantoftheGothicpileWhileyetthechurchwasRome'sstoodhalfapartInagrandarch,whichoncescreen'dmanyanaisle。
  Theselasthaddisappear'd-alosstoart:
  Thefirstyetfrown'dsuperblyo'erthesoil,Andkindledfeelingsintheroughestheart,Whichmourn'dthepoweroftime'sortempest'smarch,Ingazingonthatvenerablearch。
  Withinaniche,nightoitspinnacle,Twelvesaintshadoncestoodsanctifiedinstone;
  Butthesehadfallen,notwhenthefriarsfell,ButinthewarwhichstruckCharlesfromhisthrone,Wheneachhousewasafortalice,astellTheannalsoffullmanyalineundone,-
  Thegallantcavaliers,whofoughtinvainForthosewhoknewnottoresignorreign。
  Butinahigherniche,alone,butcrowned,TheVirginMotheroftheGod-bornChild,WithherSoninherblessedarms,look'dround,Sparedbysomechancewhenallbesidewasspoil'd;
  Shemadetheearthbelowseemholyground。
  Thismaybesuperstition,weakorwild,ButeventhefaintestrelicsofashrineOfanyworshipwakesomethoughtsdivine。
  Amightywindow,hollowinthecentre,Shornofitsglassofthousandcolourings,Throughwhichthedeepen'dgloriesoncecouldenter,Streamingfromoffthesunlikeseraph'swings,Nowyawnsalldesolate:nowloud,nowfainter,Thegalesweepsthroughitsfretwork,andoftsingsTheowlhisanthem,wherethesilencedquireLiewiththeirhallelujahsquench'dlikefire。
  Butinthenoontideofthemoon,andwhenThewindiswingedfromonepointofheaven,Theremoansastrangeunearthlysound,whichthenIsmusical-adyingaccentdrivenThroughthehugearch,whichsoarsandsinksagain。
  SomedeemitbutthedistantechogivenBacktothenightwindbythewaterfall,Andharmonisedbytheoldchoralwall:
  Others,thatsomeoriginalshape,orformShapedbydecayperchance,hathgiventhepowerThoughlessthanthatofMemnon'sstatue,warmInEgypt'srays,toharpatafix'dhour
  Tothisgreyruin,withavoicetocharm。
  Sad,butserene,itsweepso'ertreeortower;
  ThecauseIknownot,norcansolve;butsuchThefact:-I'veheardit-onceperhapstoomuch。
  AmidstthecourtaGothicfountainplay'd,Symmetrical,butdeck'dwithcarvingsquaint-
  Strangefaces,liketomeninmasquerade,Andhereperhapsamonster,thereasaint:
  Thespringgush'dthroughgrimmouthsofgranitemade,Andsparkledintobasins,whereitspentItslittletorrentinathousandbubbles,Likeman'svainglory,andhisvainertroubles。
  Themansion'sselfwasvastandvenerable,WithmoreofthemonasticthanhasbeenElsewherepreserved:thecloistersstillwerestable,Thecells,too,andrefectory,Iween:
  Anexquisitesmallchapelhadbeenable,Stillunimpair'd,todecoratethescene;
  Theresthadbeenreform'd,replaced,orsunk,Andspokemoreofthebaronthanthemonk。
  Hugehalls,longgalleries,spaciouschambers,join'dBynoquitelawfulmarriageofthearts,Mightshockaconnoisseur;butwhencombined,Form'dawholewhich,irregularinparts,Yetleftagrandimpressiononthemind,Atleastofthosewhoseeyesareintheirhearts:
  Wegazeuponagiantforhisstature,Norjudgeatfirstifallbetruetonature。
  Steelbarons,moltenthenextgenerationTosilkenrowsofgayandgarter'dearls,Glancedfromthewallsingoodlypreservation;
  AndLadyMarysbloomingintogirls,Withfairlonglocks,hadalsokepttheirstation;
  Andcountessesmatureinrobesandpearls:
  AlsosomebeautiesofSirPeterLely,Whosedraperyhintswemayadmirethemfreely。
  JudgesinveryformidableermineWerethere,withbrowsthatdidnotmuchinviteTheaccusedtothinktheirlordshipswoulddetermineHiscausebyleaningmuchfrommighttoright:
  Bishops,whohadnotleftasinglesermon:
  Attorneys-general,awfultothesight,Ashintingmoreunlessourjudgmentswarpus
  Ofthe'StarChamber'thanof'HabeasCorpus。'
  Generals,someallinarmour,oftheoldAndirontime,ereleadhadta'enthelead;
  OthersinwigsofMarlborough'smartialfold,Hugerthantwelveofourdegeneratebreed:
  Lordlings,withstavesofwhiteorkeysofgold:
  Nimrods,whosecanvassscarcecontain'dthesteed;
  Andhereandtheresomesternhighpatriotstood,Whocouldnotgettheplaceforwhichhesued。
  Buteverandanon,tosootheyourvision,Fatiguedwiththesehereditaryglories,ThereroseaCarloDolceoraTitian,OrwildergroupofsavageSalvatore's;
  HeredancedAlbano'sboys,andheretheseashoneInVernet'soceanlights;andtherethestoriesOfmartyrsawed,asSpagnolettotaintedHisbrushwithallthebloodofallthesainted。
  HeresweetlyspreadalandscapeofLorraine;
  ThereRembrandtmadehisdarknessequallight,OrgloomyCaravaggio'sgloomierstainBronzedo'ersomeleanandstoicanchorite:-
  But,lo!aTenierswoos,andnotinvain,Youreyestorevelinaliveliersight:
  Hisbell-mouth'dgobletmakesmefeelquiteDanishOrDutchwiththirst-What,ho!aflaskofRhenish。
  Oreader!ifthatthoucanstread,-andknow,'Tisnotenoughtospell,oreventoread,Toconstituteareader;theremustgoVirtuesofwhichbothyouandIhaveneed;-
  Firstly,beginwiththebeginningthoughThatclauseishard;andsecondly,proceed;
  Thirdly,commencenotwiththeend-or,sinningInthissort,endatleastwiththebeginning。
  But,reader,thouhastpatientbeenoflate,WhileI,withoutremorseofrhyme,orfear,Havebuiltandlaidoutgroundatsucharate,DanPhoebustakesmeforanauctioneer。
  Thatpoetsweresofromtheirearliestdate,ByHomer's'Catalogueofships'isclear;
  Butameremodernmustbemoderate-
  Ispareyouthenthefurnitureandplate。
  Themellowautumncame,andwithitcameThepromisedparty,toenjoyitssweets。
  Thecorniscut,themanorfullofgame;
  Thepointerranges,andthesportsmanbeatsInrussetjacket:-lynx-likeishisaim;
  Fullgrowshisbag,andwonderfulhisfeats。
  Ah,nut-brownpartridges!Ah,brilliantpheasants!
  Andah,yepoachers!-'Tisnosportforpeasants。
  AnEnglishautumn,thoughithathnovines,BlushingwithBacchantcoronalsalongThepaths,o'erwhichthefarfestoonentwinesTheredgrapeinthesunnylandsofsong,Hathyetapurchasedchoiceofchoicestwines;
  Theclaretlight,andtheMadeirastrong。
  IfBritainmournherbleakness,wecantellher,Theverybestofvineyardsisthecellar。
  Then,ifshehathnotthatserenedeclineWhichmakesthesouthernautumn'sdayappearAsif'twouldtoasecondspringresignTheseason,ratherthantowinterdrear,Ofin-doorcomfortsstillshehathamine,-
  Thesea-coalfiresthe'earliestoftheyear;'
  Withoutdoors,too,shemaycompeteinmellow,Aswhatislostingreenisgain'dinyellow。
  Andfortheeffeminatevilleggiatura-
  Rifewithmorehornsthanhounds-shehaththechase,SoanimatedthatitmightallureSaintfromhisbeadstojointhejocundrace;
  EvenNimrod'sselfmightleavetheplainsofDura,AndweartheMeltonjacketforaspace:
  Ifshehathnowildboars,shehathatamePreserveofbores,whooughttobemadegame。
  Thenobleguests,assembledattheAbbey,Consistedof-wegivethesexthepas-
  TheDuchessofFitz-Fulke;theCountessCrabby;
  TheLadiesScilly,Busey;-MissEclat,MissBombazeen,MissMackstay,MissO'Tabby,AndMrs。Rabbi,therichbanker'ssquaw;
  AlsothehonourableMrs。Sleep,Wholook'dawhitelamb,yetwasablacksheep:
  WithotherCountessesofBlank-butrank;
  Atoncethe'lie'andthe'elite'ofcrowds;
  Whopasslikewaterfilter'dinatank,Allpurgedandpiousfromtheirnativeclouds;
  Orpaperturn'dtomoneybytheBank:
  Nomatterhoworwhy,thepassportshroudsThe'passee'andthepast;forgoodsocietyIsnolessfamedfortolerancethanpiety,-
  Thatis,uptoacertainpoint;whichpointFormsthemostdifficultinpunctuation。
  AppearancesappeartoformthejointOnwhichithingesinahigherstation;
  Andsothatnoexplosioncry'ArointThee,witch!'oreachMedeahasherJason;
  OrtothepointwithHoraceandwithPulci
  'Omnetulitpunctum,quaemiscuitutiledulci。'
  Ican'texactlytracetheirruleofright,Whichhathalittleleaningtoalottery。
  I'veseenavirtuouswomanputdownquiteBythemerecombinationofacoterie;
  Alsoaso-somatronboldlyfightHerwaybacktotheworldbydintofplottery,AndshinetheverySiriaofthespheres,Escapingwithafewslight,scarlesssneers。
  IhaveseenmorethanI'llsay:-butwewillseeHowourvilleggiaturawillgeton。
  Thepartymightconsistofthirty-threeOfhighestcaste-theBrahminsoftheton。
  Ihavenamedafew,notforemostindegree,Butta'enathazardastherhymemayrun。
  Bywayofsprinkling,scatter'damongstthese,TherealsoweresomeIrishabsentees。
  TherewasParolles,too,thelegalbully,WholimitsallhisbattlestothebarAndsenate:wheninvitedelsewhere,truly,Heshowsmoreappetiteforwordsthanwar。
  TherewastheyoungbardRackrhyme,whohadnewlyComeoutandglimmer'dasasixweeks'star。
  TherewasLordPyrrho,too,thegreatfreethinker;
  AndSirJohnPottledeep,themightydrinker。
  TherewastheDukeofDash,whowasa-duke,'Ay,everyincha'duke;thereweretwelvepeersLikeCharlemagne's-andallsuchpeersinlookAndintellect,thatneithereyesnorearsForcommonershadeverthemmistook。
  TherewerethesixMissRawbolds-prettydears!
  Allsongandsentiment;whoseheartsweresetLessonaconventthanacoronet。
  TherewerefourHonourableMisters,whoseHonourwasmorebeforetheirnamesthanafter;
  TherewasthepreuxChevalierdelaRuse,WhomFranceandFortunelatelydeign'dtowafthere,Whosechieflyharmlesstalentwastoamuse;
  Buttheclubsfounditratherseriouslaughter,Because-suchwashismagicpowertoplease-
  Thediceseem'dcharm'd,too,withhisrepartees。
  TherewasDickDubious,themetaphysician,Wholovedphilosophyandagooddinner;
  Angle,thesoi-disantmathematician;
  SirHenrySilvercup,thegreatrace-winner。
  TherewastheReverendRodomontPrecisian,Whodidnothatesomuchthesinassinner;
  AndLordAugustusFitz-Plantagenet,Goodatallthings,butbetteratabet。
  Therewasjackjargon,thegiganticguardsman;
  AndGeneralFireface,famousinthefield,Agreattactician,andnolessaswordsman,Whoate,lastwar,moreYankeesthanhekill'd。
  TherewasthewaggishWelshJudge,JefferiesHardsman,Inhisgraveofficesocompletelyskill'd,Thatwhenaculpritcamefarcondemnation,Hehadhisjudge'sjokeforconsolation。
  Goodcompany'sachess-board-therearekings,Queens,bishops,knights,rooks,pawns;theworld'sagame;
  Savethatthepuppetspullattheirownstrings,MethinksgayPunchhathsomethingofthesame。
  MyMuse,thebutterflyhathbutherwings,Notstings,andflitsthroughetherwithoutaim,Alightingrarely:-wereshebutahornet,Perhapstheremightbeviceswhichwouldmournit。
  Ihadforgotten-butmustnotforget-
  Anorator,thelatestofthesession,Whohaddeliver'dwellaverysetSmoothspeech,hisfirstandmaidenlytransgressionUpondebate:thepapersechoedyetWithhisdebut,whichmadeastrongimpression,Andrank'dwithwhatiseverydaydisplay'd-
  'Thebestfirstspeechthateveryetwasmade。'
  Proudofhis'Hearhims!'proud,too,ofhisvoteAndlostvirginityoforatory,Proudofhislearningjustenoughtoquote,Herevell'dinhisCiceronianglory:
  Withmemoryexcellenttogetbyrote,Withwittohatchapunortellastory,Gracedwithsomemerit,andwithmoreeffrontery,'Hiscountry'spride,'hecamedowntothecountry。
  Therealsoweretwowitsbyacclamation,LongbowfromIreland,StrongbowfromtheTweed,Bothlawyersandbothmenofeducation;
  ButStrongbow'switwasofmorepolish'dbreed:
  LongbowwasrichinanimaginationAsbeautifulandboundingasasteed,Butsometimesstumblingoverapotato,-
  WhileStrongbow'sbestthingsmighthavecomefromCato。
  Strongbowwaslikeanew-tunedharpsichord;
  ButLongbowwildasanAEolianharp,Withwhichthewindsofheavencanclaimaccord,Andmakeamusic,whetherflatorsharp。
  OfStrongbow'stalkyouwouldnotchangeaword:
  AtLongbow'sphrasesyoumightsometimescarp:
  Bothwits-onebornso,andtheotherbred-
  Thisbyhisheart,hisrivalbyhishead。
  IfalltheseseemaheterogeneousmasTobeassembledatacountryseat,Yetthink,aspecimenofeveryclassIsbetterthanahumdrumtete-a-tete。
  ThedaysofComedyaregone,alas!
  WhenCongreve'sfoolcouldviewithMoliere'sbete:
  Societyissmooth'dtothatexcess,Thatmannershardlydiffermorethandress。
  Ourridiculesarekeptintheback-ground-
  Ridiculousenough,butalsodull;
  Professions,too,arenomoretobefoundProfessional;andthereisnoughttocullOffolly'sfruit;forthoughyourfoolsabound,They'rebarren,andnotworththepainstopull。
  Societyisnowonepolish'dhorde,Form'doftwomightytribes,theBoresandBored。
  Butfrombeingfarmers,weturngleaners,gleaningThescantybutright-wellthresh'dearsoftruth;
  And,gentlereader!whenyougathermeaning,YoumaybeBoaz,andI-modestRuth。
  FartherI'dquote,butScriptureinterveningForbids。itgreatimpressioninmyyouthWasmadebyMrs。Adams,whereshecries,'ThatScripturesoutofchurchareblasphemies。'
  ButwhatwecanwegleaninthisvileageOfchaff,althoughourgleaningsbenotgrist。
  Imustnotquiteomitthetalkingsage,Kit-Cat,thefamousConversationist,Who,inhiscommon-placebook,hadapagePreparedeachmornforevenings。'List,oh,list!'-
  'Alas,poorghost!'-WhatunexpectedwoesAwaitthosewhohavestudiedtheirbon-mots!
  Firstly,theymustalluretheconversationBymanywindingstotheircleverclinch;
  Andsecondly,mustletslipnooccasion,Norbateabatetheirhearersofaninch,Buttakeanell-andmakeagreatsensation,Ifpossible;andthirdly,neverflinchWhensomesmarttalkerputsthemtothetest,Butseizethelastword,whichnodoubt'sthebest。
  LordHenryandhisladywerethehosts;
  Thepartywehavetouch'donweretheguests:
  TheirtablewasaboardtotemptevenghostsTopasstheStyxformoresubstantialfeasts。
  Iwillnotdwelluponragoutsorroasts,AlbeitallhumanhistoryattestsThathappinessforman-thehungrysinner!-
  SinceEveateapples,muchdependsondinner。
  Witnessthelandswhich'flow'dwithmilkandhoney,'
  HeldoutuntothehungryIsraelites;
  Tothiswehaveaddedsince,theloveofmoney,Theonlysortofpleasurewhichrequites。
  Youthfades,andleavesourdaysnolongersunny;
  Wetireofmistressesandparasites;
  Butoh,ambrosialcash!Ah!whowouldlosethee?
  Whenwenomorecanuse,orevenabusethee!
  Thegentlemengotupbetimestoshoot,Orhunt:theyoung,becausetheylikedthesport-
  Thefirstthingboyslikeafterplayandfruit;
  Themiddle-agedtomakethedaymoreshort;
  ForennuiisagrowthofEnglishroot,Thoughnamelessinourlanguage:-weretortThefactforwords,andlettheFrenchtranslateThatawfulyawnwhichsleepcannotabate。
  Theelderlywalk'dthroughthelibrary,Andtumbledbooks,orcriticisedthepictures,Orsaunter'dthroughthegardenspiteously,Andmadeuponthehot-houseseveralstrictures,Orrodeanagwhichtrottednottoohigh,Oronthemorningpapersreadtheirlectures,Oronthewatchtheirlongingeyeswouldfix,Longingatsixtyforthehourofsix。
  Butnonewere'gene:'thegreathourofunionWasrungbydinner'sknell;tillthenallwereMastersoftheirowntime-orincommunion,Orsolitary,astheychosetobearThehours,whichhowtopassisbuttofewknown。
  Eachroseupathisown,andhadtospareWhattimehechosefordress,andbrokehisfastWhen,where,andhowhechoseforthatrepast。
  Theladies-somerouged,somealittlepale-
  Metthemornastheymight。Iffine,theyrode,Orwalk'd;iffoul,theyread,ortoldatale,Sung,orrehearsedthelastdancefromabroad;
  Discuss'dthefashionwhichmightnextprevail,Andsettledbonnetsbythenewestcode,Orcramm'dtwelvesheetsintoonelittleletter,Tomakeeachcorrespondentanewdebtor。
  Forsomehadabsentlovers,allhadfriends。
  Theearthhasnothinglikeasheepistle,Andhardlyheaven-becauseitneverends。
  Ilovethemysteryofafemalemissal,Which,likeacreed,ne'ersaysallitintends,ButfullofcunningasUlysses'whistle,WhenhealluredpoorDolon:-youhadbetterTakecarewhatyoureplytosuchaletter。
  Thentherewerebilliards;cards,too,butnodice;-
  Saveintheclubsnomanofhonourplays;-
  Boatswhen'twaswater,skatingwhen'twasice,Andthehardfrostdestroy'dthescentingdays:
  Andangling,too,thatsolitaryvice,WhateverIzaakWaltonsingsorsays;
  Thequaint,old,cruelcoxcomb,inhisgulletShouldhaveahook,andasmalltrouttopullit。
  Witheveningcamethebanquetandthewine;
  Theconversazione;theduet,AttunedbyvoicesmoreorlessdivineMyheartorheadacheswiththememoryyet。
  ThefourMissRawboldsinagleewouldshine;
  ButthetwoyoungestlovedmoretobesetDowntotheharp-becausetomusic'scharmsTheyaddedgracefulnecks,whitehandsandarms。
  Sometimesadancethoughrarelyonfielddays,Forthenthegentlemenwererathertired
  Display'dsomesylph-likefiguresinitsmaze;
  Thentherewassmall-talkreadywhenrequired;
  Flirtation-butdecorous;themerepraiseOfcharmsthatshouldorshouldnotbeadmired。
  Thehuntersfoughttheirfox-hunto'eragain,Andthenretreatedsoberly-atten。
  Thepoliticians,inanookapart,Discuss'dtheworld,andsettledallthespheres;
  Thewitswatch'deveryloopholefortheirart,Tointroduceabon-motheadandears;
  Smallistherestofthosewhowouldbesmart,Amoment'sgoodthingmayhavecostthemyearsBeforetheyfindanhourtointroduceit;
  Andthen,eventhen,someboremaymakethemloseit。
  ButallwasgentleandaristocraticInthisourparty;polish'd,smooth,andcold,AsPhidianformscutoutofmarbleAttic。
  TherenowarenoSquireWesternsasofold;
  AndourSophiasarenotsoemphatic,Butfairasthen,orfairertobehold。
  Wehavenoaccomplish'dblackguards,likeTomJones,Butgentlemeninstays,asstiffasstones。
  Theyseparatedatanearlyhour;
  Thatis,eremidnight-whichisLondon'snoon:
  ButinthecountryladiesseektheirbowerAlittleearlierthanthewaningmoon。
  Peacetotheslumbersofeachfoldedflower-
  Maytherosecallbackitstruecoloursoon!
  Goodhoursoffaircheeksarethefairesttinters,Andlowerthepriceofrouge-atleastsomewinters。
  CANTOTHEFOURTEENTH。
  IFfromgreatnature'sorourownabyssOfthoughtwecouldbutsnatchacertainty,Perhapsmankindmightfindthepaththeymiss-
  Butthen'twouldspoilmuchgoodphilosophy。
  Onesystemeatsanotherup,andthisMuchasoldSaturnatehisprogeny;
  ForwhenhispiousconsortgavehimstonesInlieuofsons,ofthesehemadenobones。
  ButSystemdothreversetheTitan'sbreakfast,Andeatsherparents,albeitthedigestionIsdifficult。Praytellme,canyoumakefast,Afterduesearch,yourfaithtoanyquestion?
  Lookbacko'erages,ereuntothestakefastYoubindyourself,andcallsomemodethebestone。
  Nothingmoretruethannottotrustyoursenses;
  Andyetwhatareyourotherevidences?
  Forme,Iknownought;nothingIdeny,Admit,reject,contemn;andwhatknowyou,Exceptperhapsthatyouwereborntodie?
  Andbothmayafterallturnoutuntrue。
  Anagemaycome,FontofEternity,Whennothingshallbeeitheroldornew。
  Death,socall'd,isathingwhichmakesmenweep,Andyetathirdoflifeispass'dinsleep。
  Asleepwithoutdreams,afteraroughdayOftoil,iswhatwecovetmost;andyetHowclayshrinksbackfrommorequiescentclay!
  TheverySuicidethatpayshisdebtAtoncewithoutinstalmentsanoldwayOfpayingdebts,whichcreditorsregret
  Letsoutimpatientlyhisrushingbreath,Lessfromdisgustoflifethandreadofdeath。
  'Tisroundhim,nearhim,here,there,everywhere;
  Andthere'sacouragewhichgrowsoutoffear,Perhapsofallmostdesperate,whichwilldareTheworsttoknowit:-whenthemountainsrearTheirpeaksbeneathyourhumanfoot,andthereYoulookdowno'ertheprecipice,anddrearThegulfofrockyawns,-youcan'tgazeaminuteWithoutanawfulwishtoplungewithinit。
  'Tistrue,youdon't-but,paleandstruckwithterror,Retire:butlookintoyourpastimpression!
  Andyouwillfind,thoughshudderingatthemirrorOfyourownthoughts,inalltheirself-confession,Thelurkingbias,beittruthorerror,Totheunknown;asecretprepossession,Toplungewithallyourfears-butwhere?Youknownot,Andthat'sthereasonwhyyoudo-ordonot。
  Butwhat'sthistothepurpose?youwillsay。
  Gent。reader,nothing;amerespeculation,Forwhichmysoleexcuseis-'tismyway;
  SometimeswithandsometimeswithoutoccasionIwritewhat'suppermost,withoutdelay:
  Thisnarrativeisnotmeantfornarration,Butamereairyandfantasticbasis,Tobuildupcommonthingswithcommonplaces。
  Youknow,ordon'tknow,thatgreatBaconsaith,'Flingupastraw,'twillshowthewaythewindblows;'
  Andsuchastraw,borneonbyhumanbreath,Ispoesy,accordingasthemindglows;
  Apaperkitewhichflies'twixtlifeanddeath,Ashadowwhichtheonwardsoulbehindthrows:
  Andmine'sabubble,notblownupforpraise,Butjusttoplaywith,asaninfantplays。
  Theworldisallbeforeme-orbehind;
  ForIhaveseenaportionofthatsame,Andquiteenoughformetokeepinmind;-
  Ofpassions,too,Ihaveprovedenoughtoblame,Tothegreatpleasureofourfriends,mankind,Wholiketomixsomeslightalloywithfame;
  ForIwasratherfamousinmytime,UntilIfairlyknock'ditupwithrhyme。
  Ihavebroughtthisworldaboutmyears,andekeTheother;that'stosay,theclergy,whoUponmyheadhavebidtheirthundersbreakInpiouslibelsbynomeansafew。
  AndyetIcan'thelpscribblingonceaweek,Tiringoldreaders,nordiscoveringnew。
  InyouthIwrotebecausemymindwasfull,AndnowbecauseIfeelitgrowingdull。
  But'whythenpublish?'-TherearenorewardsOffameorprofitwhentheworldgrowsweary。
  Iaskinturn,-Whydoyouplayatcards?
  Whydrink?Whyread?-Tomakesomehourlessdreary。
  ItoccupiesmetoturnbackregardsOnwhatI'veseenorponder'd,sadorcheery;
  AndwhatIwriteIcastuponthestream,Toswimorsink-Ihavehadatleastmydream。
  IthinkthatwereIcertainofsuccess,Ihardlycouldcomposeanotherline:
  SolongI'vebattledeithermoreorless,ThatnodefeatcandrivemefromtheNine。
  Thisfeeling'tisnoteasytoexpress,Andyet'tisnotaffected,Iopine。
  Inplay,therearetwopleasuresforyourchoosing-
  Theoneiswinning,andtheotherlosing。
  Besides,myMusebynomeansdealsinfiction:
  Shegathersarepertoryoffacts,Ofcoursewithsomereserveandslightrestriction,Butmostlysingsofhumanthingsandacts-
  Andthat'sonecauseshemeetswithcontradiction;
  Fortoomuchtruth,atfirstsight,ne'erattracts;
  Andwereherobjectonlywhat'scall'dglory,Withmoreeasetooshe'dtelladifferentstory。
  Love,war,atempest-surelythere'svariety;
  Alsoaseasoningslightoflucubration;
  Abird's-eyeview,too,ofthatwild,Society;
  Aslightglancethrownonmenofeverystation。
  Ifyouhavenoughtelse,here'satleastsatietyBothinperformanceandinpreparation;
  Andthoughtheselinesshouldonlylineportmanteaus,TradewillbeallthebetterfortheseCantos。
  TheportionofthisworldwhichIatpresentHavetakenuptofillthefollowingsermon,Isoneofwhichthere'snodescriptionrecent。
  Thereasonwhyiseasytodetermine:
  Althoughitseemsbothprominentandpleasant,Thereisasamenessinitsgemsandermine,Adullandfamilylikenessthroughallages,Ofnogreatpromiseforpoeticpages。
  Withmuchtoexcite,there'slittletoexalt;
  Nothingthatspeakstoallmenandalltimes;
  Asortofvarnishovereveryfault;
  Akindofcommon-place,evenintheircrimes;
  Factitiouspassions,witwithoutmuchsalt,AwantofthattruenaturewhichsublimesWhate'eritshowswithtruth;asmoothmonotonyOfcharacter,inthoseatleastwhohavegotany。
  Sometimes,indeed,likesoldiersoffparade,Theybreaktheirranksandgladlyleavethedrill;
  Butthentheroll-calldrawsthembackafraid,Andtheymustbeorseemwhattheywere:stillDoubtlessitisabrilliantmasquerade;
  Butwhenofthefirstsightyouhavehadyourfill,Itpalls-atleastitdidsouponme,Thisparadiseofpleasureandennui。
  Whenwehavemadeourlove,andgamedourgaming,Drest,voted,shone,and,maybe,somethingmore;
  Withdandiesdined;heardsenatorsdeclaiming;
  Seenbeautiesbroughttomarketbythescore,Sadrakestosadderhusbandschastelytaming;
  There'slittleleftbuttobeboredorbore。
  Witnessthose'ci-devantjeuneshommes'whostemThestream,norleavetheworldwhichleaveththem。
  'Tissaid-indeedageneralcomplaint-
  ThatnoonehassucceededindescribingThemonde,exactlyastheyoughttopaint:
  Somesay,thatauthorsonlysnatch,bybribingTheporter,someslightscandalsstrangeandquaint,Tofurnishmatterfortheirmoralgibing;
  Andthattheirbookshavebutonestyleincommon-
  Mylady'sprattle,filter'dthroughherwoman。
  Butthiscan'twellbetrue,justnow;forwritersAregrownofthebeaumondeapartpotential:
  I'veseenthembalanceeventhescalewithfighters,Especiallywhenyoung,forthat'sessential。
  WhydotheirsketchesfailthemasinditersOfwhattheydeemthemselvesmostconsequential,Therealportraitofthehighesttribe?
  'Tisthat,infact,there'slittletodescribe。
  'Haudignaraloquor;'theseareNugae,'quarumParsparvafui,'butstillartandpart。
  NowIcouldmuchmoreeasilysketchaharem,Abattle,wreck,orhistoryoftheheart,Thanthesethings;andbesides,Iwishtospare'em,ForreasonswhichIchoosetokeepapart。
  'VetaboCererissacrumquivulgarit-'
  Whichmeansthatvulgarpeoplemustnotshareit。
  AndthereforewhatIthrowoffisideal-
  Lower'd,leaven'd,likeahistoryoffreemasons;
  Whichbearsthesamerelationtothereal,AsCaptainParry'svoyagemaydotoJason's。
  Thegrandarcanum'snotformentoseeall;
  Mymusichassomemysticdiapasons;
  AndthereismuchwhichcouldnotbeappreciatedInanymannerbytheuninitiated。
  Alas!worldsfall-andwoman,sinceshefell'dTheworldas,sincethathistorylesspoliteThantrue,hathbeenacreedsostrictlyheld
  Hasnotyetgivenupthepracticequite。
  Poorthingofusages!coerced,compell'd,Victimwhenwrong,andmartyroftwhenright,Condemn'dtochild-bed,asmenfortheirsinsHaveshavingtooentail'dupontheirchins,-
  Adailyplague,whichintheaggregateMayaverageonthewholewithparturition。
  Butastowomen,whocanpenetrateTherealsufferingsoftheirshecondition?
  Man'sverysympathywiththeirestateHasmuchofselfishness,andmoresuspicion。
  Theirlove,theirvirtue,beauty,education,Butformgoodhousekeepers,tobreedanation。
  Allthiswereverywell,andcan'tbebetter;
  Buteventhisisdifficult,Heavenknows,Somanytroublesfromherbirthbesether,Suchsmalldistinctionbetweenfriendsandfoes,Thegildingwearssosoonfromoffherfetter,That-butaskanywomanifshe'dchooseTakeheratthirty,thatistohavebeenFemaleormale?aschoolboyoraqueen?
  'Petticoatinfluence'isagreatreproach,WhicheventhosewhoobeywouldfainbethoughtToflyfrom,asfromhungrypikesaroach;
  Butsincebeneathituponearthwearebrought,Byvariousjoltingsoflife'shackneycoach,Iforonevenerateapetticoat-
  Agarmentofamysticalsublimity,Nomatterwhetherrusset,silk,ordimity。
  MuchIrespect,andmuchIhaveadored,Inmyyoungdays,thatchasteandgoodlyveil,Whichholdsatreasure,likeamiser'shoard,Andmoreattractsbyallitdothconceal-
  AgoldenscabbardonaDamasquesword,Alovingletterwithamysticseal,Acureforgrief-forwhatcaneverrankleBeforeapetticoatandpeepingankle?
  Andwhenuponasilent,sullenday,Withasirocco,forexample,blowing,Wheneventhesealooksdimwithallitsspray,Andsulkilytheriver'sripple'sflowing,Andtheskyshowsthatveryancientgray,Thesober,sadantithesistoglowing,-
  'Tispleasant,ifthenanythingispleasant,Tocatchaglimpseevenofaprettypeasant。
  WeleftourheroesandourheroinesInthatfairclimewhichdon'tdependonclimate,QuiteindependentoftheZodiac'ssigns,Thoughcertainlymoredifficulttorhymeat,Becausethesun,andstars,andaughtthatshines,Mountains,andallwecanbemostsublimeat,Arethereoftdullanddrearyasadun-
  Whetherasky'sortradesman'sisallone。
  Anin-doorlifeislesspoetical;
  Andoutofdoorhathshowers,andmists,andsleet,WithwhichIcouldnotbrewapastoral。
  Butbeitasitmay,abardmustmeetAlldifficulties,whethergreatorsmall,Tospoilhisundertakingorcomplete,Andworkawaylikespirituponmatter,Embarrass'dsomewhatbothwithfireandwater。
  Juan-inthisrespect,atleast,likesaints-
  Wasallthingsuntopeopleofallsorts,Andlivedcontentedly,withoutcomplaints,Incamps,inships,incottages,orcourts-
  Bornwiththathappysoulwhichseldomfaints,Andminglingmodestlyintoilsorsports。
  Helikewisecouldbemostthingstoallwomen,Withoutthecoxcombryofcertainshemen。
  Afox-hunttoaforeignerisstrange;
  'TisalsosubjecttothedoubledangerOftumblingfirst,andhavinginexchangeSomepleasantjestingattheawkwardstranger:
  ButJuanhadbeenearlytaughttorangeThewilds,asdothanArabturn'davenger,Sothathishorse,orcharger,hunter,hack,Knewthathehadarideronhisback。
  Andnowinthisnewfield,withsomeapplause,Heclear'dhedge,ditch,anddoublepost,andrail,Andnevercraned,andmadebutfew'fauxpas,'
  Andonlyfrettedwhenthescent'ganfail。
  Hebroke,'tistrue,somestatutesofthelawsOfhunting-forthesagestyouthisfrail;
  Rodeo'erthehounds,itmaybe,nowandthen,Andonceo'erseveralcountrygentlemen。
  Butonthewhole,togeneraladmirationHeacquittedbothhimselfandhorse:thesquiresMarvell'datmeritofanothernation;
  Theboorscried'Dangit?who'dhavethoughtit?'-Sires,TheNestorsofthesportinggeneration,Sworepraises,andrecall'dtheirformerfires;
  Thehuntsman'sselfrelentedtoagrin,Andratedhimalmostawhipper-in。
  Suchwerehistrophies-notofspearandshield,Butleaps,andbursts,andsometimesfoxes'brushes;
  YetImustown,-althoughinthisIyieldTopatriotsympathyaBriton'sblushes,-
  HethoughtatheartlikecourtlyChesterfield,Who,afteralongchaseo'erhills,dales,bushes,Andwhatnot,thoughherodebeyondallprice,Ask'dnextday,'Ifmeneverhuntedtwice?'
  HealsohadaqualityuncommonToearlyrisersafteralongchase,WhowakeinwintererethecockcansummonDecember'sdrowsydaytohisdullrace,-
  Aqualityagreeabletowoman,Whenhersoft,liquidwordsrunonapace,Wholikesalistener,whethersaintorsinner,-
  Hedidnotfallasleepjustafterdinner;
  But,lightandairy,stoodonthealert,Andshoneinthebestpartofdialogue,Byhumouringalwayswhattheymightassert,Andlisteningtothetopicsmostinvogue;
  Nowgrave,nowgay,butneverdullorpert;
  Andsmilingbutinsecret-cunningrogue!
  Hene'erpresumedtomakeanerrorclearer;-
  Inshort,thereneverwasabetterhearer。
  Andthenhedanced;-allforeignersexcelTheseriousAnglesintheeloquenceOfpantomime;-hedanced,Isay,rightwell,Withemphasis,andalsowithgoodsense-
  Athinginfootingindispensable;
  Hedancedwithouttheatricalpretence,Notlikeaballet-masterinthevanOfhisdrill'dnymphs,butlikeagentleman。