首页 >出版文学> Night and Day>第3章

第3章

  “ThebarebranchesagainsttheskydoonesomuchGOOD,“Mrs。Sealasserted,lookingoutintotheSquare。
  “Butonecan'tlunchofftrees,Sally,“saidMary。
  “IconfessIdon'tknowhowyoumanageit,MissDatchet,“Mr。Clactonremarked。“Ishouldsleepalltheafternoon,Iknow,ifItookaheavymealinthemiddleoftheday。“
  “What'stheverylatestthinginliterature?“Maryasked,good-
  humoredlypointingtotheyellow-coveredvolumebeneathMr。Clacton'sarm,forheinvariablyreadsomenewFrenchauthoratlunch-time,orsqueezedinavisittoapicturegallery,balancinghissocialworkwithanardentcultureofwhichhewassecretlyproud,asMaryhadverysoondivined。
  SotheypartedandMarywalkedaway,wonderingiftheyguessedthatshereallywantedtogetawayfromthem,andsupposingthattheyhadnotquitereachedthatdegreeofsubtlety。Sheboughtherselfaneveningpaper,whichshereadassheate,lookingoverthetopofitagainandagainatthequeerpeoplewhowerebuyingcakesorimpartingtheirsecrets,untilsomeyoungwomanwhomsheknewcamein,andshecalledout,“Eleanor,comeandsitbyme,“andtheyfinishedtheirlunchtogether,partingonthestripofpavementamongthedifferentlinesoftrafficwithapleasantfeelingthattheyweresteppingoncemoreintotheirseparateplacesinthegreatandeternallymovingpatternofhumanlife。
  But,insteadofgoingstraightbacktotheofficeto-day,MaryturnedintotheBritishMuseum,andstrolleddownthegallerywiththeshapesofstoneuntilshefoundanemptyseatdirectlybeneaththegazeoftheElginmarbles。Shelookedatthem,andseemed,asusual,borneuponsomewaveofexaltationandemotion,bywhichherlifeatoncebecamesolemnandbeautiful——animpressionwhichwasdueasmuch,perhaps,tothesolitudeandchillandsilenceofthegalleryastotheactualbeautyofthestatues。Onemustsuppose,atleast,thatheremotionswerenotpurelyesthetic,because,aftershehadgazedattheUlyssesforaminuteortwo,shebegantothinkaboutRalphDenham。Sosecuredidshefeelwiththesesilentshapesthatshealmostyieldedtoanimpulsetosay“Iaminlovewithyou“aloud。Thepresenceofthisimmenseandenduringbeautymadeheralmostalarminglyconsciousofherdesire,andatthesametimeproudofafeelingwhichdidnotdisplayanythinglikethesameproportionswhenshewasgoingaboutherdailywork。
  Sherepressedherimpulsetospeakaloud,androseandwanderedaboutratheraimlesslyamongthestatuesuntilshefoundherselfinanothergallerydevotedtoengravedobelisksandwingedAssyrianbulls,andheremotiontookanotherturn。ShebegantopictureherselftravelingwithRalphinalandwherethesemonsterswerecouchantinthesand。
  “For,“shethoughttoherself,asshegazedfixedlyatsomeinformationprintedbehindapieceofglass,“thewonderfulthingaboutyouisthatyou'rereadyforanything;you'renotintheleastconventional,likemostclevermen。“
  Andsheconjuredupasceneofherselfonacamel'sback,inthedesert,whileRalphcommandedawholetribeofnatives。
  “Thatiswhatyoucando,“shewenton,movingontothenextstatue。
  “Youalwaysmakepeopledowhatyouwant。“
  Aglowspreadoverherspirit,andfilledhereyeswithbrightness。
  Nevertheless,beforeshelefttheMuseumshewasveryfarfromsaying,evenintheprivacyofherownmind,“Iaminlovewithyou,“andthatsentencemightverywellneverhaveframeditself。Shewas,indeed,ratherannoyedwithherselfforhavingallowedsuchanill-consideredbreachofherreserve,weakeningherpowersofresistance,shefelt,shouldthisimpulsereturnagain。For,asshewalkedalongthestreettoheroffice,theforceofallhercustomaryobjectionstobeinginlovewithanyoneovercameher。Shedidnotwanttomarryatall。Itseemedtoherthattherewassomethingamateurishinbringingloveintotouchwithaperfectlystraightforwardfriendship,suchasherswaswithRalph,which,fortwoyearsnow,hadbaseditselfuponcommoninterestsinimpersonaltopics,suchasthehousingofthepoor,orthetaxationoflandvalues。
  Buttheafternoonspiritdifferedintrinsicallyfromthemorningspirit。Maryfoundherselfwatchingtheflightofabird,ormakingdrawingsofthebranchesoftheplane-treesuponherblotting-paper。
  PeoplecameintoseeMr。Clactononbusiness,andaseductivesmellofcigarettesmokeissuedfromhisroom。Mrs。Sealwanderedaboutwithnewspapercuttings,whichseemedtohereither“quitesplendid“or“reallytoobadforwords。“Sheusedtopastetheseintobooks,orsendthemtoherfriends,havingfirstdrawnabroadbarinbluepencildownthemargin,aproceedingwhichsignifiedequallyandindistinguishablythedepthsofherreprobationortheheightsofherapproval。
  Aboutfouro'clockonthatsameafternoonKatharineHilberywaswalkingupKingsway。Thequestionofteapresenteditself。Thestreetlampswerebeinglitalready,andasshestoodstillforamomentbeneathoneofthem,shetriedtothinkofsomeneighboringdrawing-roomwheretherewouldbefirelightandtalkcongenialtohermood。Thatmood,owingtothespinningtrafficandtheeveningveilofunreality,wasill-adaptedtoherhomesurroundings。Perhaps,onthewhole,ashopwasthebestplaceinwhichtopreservethisqueersenseofheightenedexistence。Atthesametimeshewishedtotalk。
  RememberingMaryDatchetandherrepeatedinvitations,shecrossedtheroad,turnedintoRussellSquare,andpeeredabout,seekingfornumberswithasenseofadventurethatwasoutofallproportiontothedeeditself。Shefoundherselfinadimlylightedhall,unguardedbyaporter,andpushedopenthefirstswingdoor。Buttheoffice-boyhadneverheardofMissDatchet。DidshebelongtotheS。R。F。R。?
  Katharineshookherheadwithasmileofdismay。Avoicefromwithinshouted,“No。TheS。G。S——topfloor。“
  Katharinemountedpastinnumerableglassdoors,withinitialsonthem,andbecamesteadilymoreandmoredoubtfulofthewisdomofherventure。Atthetopshepausedforamomenttobreatheandcollectherself。Sheheardthetypewriterandformalprofessionalvoicesinside,notbelonging,shethought,toanyoneshehadeverspokento。
  Shetouchedthebell,andthedoorwasopenedalmostimmediatelybyMaryherself。HerfacehadtochangeitsexpressionentirelywhenshesawKatharine。
  “You!“sheexclaimed。“Wethoughtyouweretheprinter。“Stillholdingthedooropen,shecalledback,“No,Mr。Clacton,it'snotPenningtons。Ishouldringthemupagain——doublethreedoubleeight,Central。Well,thisisasurprise。Comein,“sheadded。“You'rejustintimefortea。“
  ThelightofreliefshoneinMary'seyes。Theboredomoftheafternoonwasdissipatedatonce,andshewasgladthatKatharinehadfoundtheminamomentarypressofactivity,owingtothefailureoftheprintertosendbackcertainproofs。
  TheunshadedelectriclightshininguponthetablecoveredwithpapersdazedKatharineforamoment。Aftertheconfusionofhertwilightwalk,andherrandomthoughts,lifeinthissmallroomappearedextremelyconcentratedandbright。Sheturnedinstinctivelytolookoutofthewindow,whichwasuncurtained,butMaryimmediatelyrecalledher。
  “Itwasverycleverofyoutofindyourway,“shesaid,andKatharinewondered,asshestoodthere,feeling,forthemoment,entirelydetachedandunabsorbed,whyshehadcome。Shelooked,indeed,toMary'seyesstrangelyoutofplaceintheoffice。Herfigureinthelongcloak,whichtookdeepfolds,andherface,whichwascomposedintoamaskofsensitiveapprehension,disturbedMaryforamomentwithasenseofthepresenceofsomeonewhowasofanotherworld,and,therefore,subversiveofherworld。ShebecameimmediatelyanxiousthatKatharineshouldbeimpressedbytheimportanceofherworld,andhopedthatneitherMrs。SealnorMr。Clactonwouldappearuntiltheimpressionofimportancehadbeenreceived。Butinthisshewasdisappointed。Mrs。Sealburstintotheroomholdingakettleinherhand,whichshesetuponthestove,andthen,withinefficienthaste,shesetlighttothegas,whichflaredup,exploded,andwentout。
  “Alwaystheway,alwaystheway,“shemuttered。“KitMarkhamistheonlypersonwhoknowshowtodealwiththething。“
  Maryhadtogotoherhelp,andtogethertheyspreadthetable,andapologizedforthedisparitybetweenthecupsandtheplainnessofthefood。
  “IfwehadknownMissHilberywascoming,weshouldhaveboughtacake,“saidMary,uponwhichMrs。SeallookedatKatharineforthefirsttime,suspiciously,becauseshewasapersonwhoneededcake。
  HereMr。Clactonopenedthedoor,andcamein,holdingatypewrittenletterinhishand,whichhewasreadingaloud。
  “Salford'saffiliated,“hesaid。
  “Welldone,Salford!“Mrs。Sealexclaimedenthusiastically,thumpingtheteapotwhichshehelduponthetable,intokenofapplause。
  “Yes,theseprovincialcentersseemtobecomingintolineatlast,“
  saidMr。Clacton,andthenMaryintroducedhimtoMissHilbery,andheaskedher,inaveryformalmanner,ifshewereinterested“inourwork。“
  “Andtheproofsstillnotcome?“saidMrs。Seal,puttingbothherelbowsonthetable,andproppingherchinonherhands,asMarybegantopourouttea。“It'stoobad——toobad。Atthisrateweshallmissthecountrypost。Whichremindsme,Mr。Clacton,don'tyouthinkweshouldcircularizetheprovinceswithPartridge'slastspeech?What?
  You'venotreadit?Oh,it'sthebestthingthey'vehadintheHousethisSession。EventhePrimeMinister——“
  ButMarycuthershort。
  “Wedon'tallowshopattea,Sally,“shesaidfirmly。“Wefineherapennyeachtimesheforgets,andthefinesgotobuyingaplumcake,“
  sheexplained,seekingtodrawKatharineintothecommunity。Shehadgivenupallhopeofimpressingher。
  “I'msorry,I'msorry,“Mrs。Sealapologized。“It'smymisfortunetobeanenthusiast,“shesaid,turningtoKatharine。“Myfather'sdaughtercouldhardlybeanythingelse。IthinkI'vebeenonasmanycommitteesasmostpeople。WaifsandStrays,RescueWork,ChurchWork,C。O。S——localbranch——besidestheusualcivicdutieswhichfalltooneasahouseholder。ButI'vegiventhemallupforourworkhere,andIdon'tregretitforasecond,“sheadded。“Thisistherootquestion,Ifeel;untilwomenhavevotes——“
  “It'llbesixpence,atleast,Sally,“saidMary,bringingherfistdownonthetable。“Andwe'reallsicktodeathofwomenandtheirvotes。“
  Mrs。Seallookedforamomentasthoughshecouldhardlybelieveherears,andmadeadeprecating“tut-tut-tut“inherthroat,lookingalternatelyatKatharineandMary,andshakingherheadasshedidso。
  Thensheremarked,ratherconfidentiallytoKatharine,withalittlenodinMary'sdirection:
  “She'sdoingmoreforthecausethananyofus。She'sgivingheryouth——for,alas!whenIwasyoungthereweredomesticcircumstances——“shesighed,andstoppedshort。
  Mr。Clactonhastilyrevertedtothejokeaboutluncheon,andexplainedhowMrs。Sealfedonabagofbiscuitsunderthetrees,whatevertheweathermightbe,rather,Katharinethought,asthoughMrs。Sealwereapetdogwhohadconvenienttricks。
  “Yes,Itookmylittlebagintothesquare,“saidMrs。Seal,withtheself-consciousguiltofachildowningsomefaulttoitselders。“Itwasreallyverysustaining,andthebareboughsagainsttheskydoonesomuchGOOD。ButIshallhavetogiveupgoingintothesquare,“sheproceeded,wrinklingherforehead。“Theinjusticeofit!WhyshouldI
  haveabeautifulsquarealltomyself,whenpoorwomenwhoneedresthavenowhereatalltosit?“ShelookedfiercelyatKatharine,givinghershortlocksalittleshake。“It'sdreadfulwhatatyrantonestillis,inspiteofallone'sefforts。Onetriestoleadadecentlife,butonecan't。Ofcourse,directlyonethinksofit,oneseesthatALL
  squaresshouldbeopentoEVERYONE。Isthereanysocietywiththatobject,Mr。Clacton?Ifnot,thereshouldbe,surely。“
  “Amostexcellentobject,“saidMr。Clactoninhisprofessionalmanner。“Atthesametime,onemustdeploretheramificationoforganizations,Mrs。Seal。Somuchexcellenteffortthrownaway,nottospeakofpounds,shillings,andpence。NowhowmanyorganizationsofaphilanthropicnaturedoyousupposethereareintheCityofLondonitself,MissHilbery?“headded,screwinghismouthintoaqueerlittlesmile,asiftoshowthatthequestionhaditsfrivolousside。
  Katharinesmiled,too。Herunlikenesstotherestofthemhad,bythistime,penetratedtoMr。Clacton,whowasnotnaturallyobservant,andhewaswonderingwhoshewas;thissameunlikenesshadsubtlystimulatedMrs。Sealtotryandmakeaconvertofher。Mary,too,lookedatheralmostasifshebeggedhertomakethingseasy。ForKatharinehadshownnodispositiontomakethingseasy。Shehadscarcelyspoken,andhersilence,thoughgraveandeventhoughtful,seemedtoMarythesilenceofonewhocriticizes。
  “Well,therearemoreinthishousethanI'danynotionof,“shesaid。
  “Onthegroundflooryouprotectnatives,onthenextyouemigratewomenandtellpeopletoeatnuts——“
  “Whydoyousaythat'we'dothesethings?“Maryinterposed,rathersharply。“We'renotresponsibleforallthecrankswhochoosetolodgeinthesamehousewithus。“
  Mr。Clactonclearedhisthroatandlookedateachoftheyoungladiesinturn。HewasagooddealstruckbytheappearanceandmannerofMissHilbery,whichseemedtohimtoplaceheramongthosecultivatedandluxuriouspeopleofwhomheusedtodream。Mary,ontheotherhand,wasmoreofhisownsort,andalittletoomuchinclinedtoorderhimabout。Hepickedupcrumbsofdrybiscuitandputthemintohismouthwithincrediblerapidity。
  “Youdon'tbelongtooursociety,then?“saidMrs。Seal。
  “No,I'mafraidIdon't,“saidKatharine,withsuchreadycandorthatMrs。Sealwasnonplussed,andstaredatherwithapuzzledexpression,asifshecouldnotclassifyheramongthevarietiesofhumanbeingsknowntoher。
  “Butsurely“shebegan。
  “Mrs。Sealisanenthusiastinthesematters,“saidMr。Clacton,almostapologetically。“Wehavetoremindhersometimesthatothershavearighttotheirviewseveniftheydifferfromourown……
  “Punch“hasaveryfunnypicturethisweek,aboutaSuffragistandanagriculturallaborer。Haveyouseenthisweek's“Punch,“MissDatchet?“
  Marylaughed,andsaid“No。“
  Mr。Clactonthentoldthemthesubstanceofthejoke,which,however,dependedagooddealforitssuccessupontheexpressionwhichtheartisthadputintothepeople'sfaces。Mrs。Sealsatallthetimeperfectlygrave。Directlyhehaddonespeakingsheburstout:
  “Butsurely,ifyoucareaboutthewelfareofyoursexatall,youmustwishthemtohavethevote?“
  “IneversaidIdidn'twishthemtohavethevote,“Katharineprotested。
  “Thenwhyaren'tyouamemberofoursociety?“Mrs。Sealdemanded。
  Katharinestirredherspoonroundandround,staredintotheswirlofthetea,andremainedsilent。Mr。Clacton,meanwhile,framedaquestionwhich,afteramoment'shesitation,heputtoKatharine。
  “Areyouinanywayrelated,Iwonder,tothepoetAlardyce?Hisdaughter,Ibelieve,marriedaMr。Hilbery。“
  “Yes;I'mthepoet'sgranddaughter,“saidKatharine,withalittlesigh,afterapause;andforamomenttheywereallsilent。
  “Thepoet'sgranddaughter!“Mrs。Sealrepeated,halftoherself,withashakeofherhead,asifthatexplainedwhatwasotherwiseinexplicable。
  ThelightkindledinMr。Clacton'seye。
  “Ah,indeed。Thatinterestsmeverymuch,“hesaid。“Ioweagreatdebttoyourgrandfather,MissHilbery。AtonetimeIcouldhaverepeatedthegreaterpartofhimbyheart。Butonegetsoutofthewayofreadingpoetry,unfortunately。Youdon'trememberhim,Isuppose?“
  AsharprapatthedoormadeKatharine'sanswerinaudible。Mrs。Seallookedupwithrenewedhopeinhereyes,andexclaiming:
  “Theproofsatlast!“rantoopenthedoor。“Oh,it'sonlyMr。
  Denham!“shecried,withoutanyattempttoconcealherdisappointment。
  Ralph,Katharinesupposed,wasafrequentvisitor,fortheonlypersonhethoughtitnecessarytogreetwasherself,andMaryatonceexplainedthestrangefactofherbeingtherebysaying:
  “Katharinehascometoseehowonerunsanoffice。“
  Ralphfelthimselfstiffenuncomfortably,ashesaid:
  “IhopeMaryhasn'tpersuadedyouthatsheknowshowtorunanoffice?“
  “What,doesn'tshe?“saidKatharine,lookingfromonetotheother。
  AttheseremarksMrs。Sealbegantoexhibitsignsofdiscomposure,whichdisplayedthemselvesbyatossingmovementofherhead,and,asRalphtookaletterfromhispocket,andplacedhisfingeruponacertainsentence,sheforestalledhimbyexclaiminginconfusion:
  “Now,Iknowwhatyou'regoingtosay,Mr。Denham!ButitwasthedayKitMarkhamwashere,andsheupsetsoneso——withherwonderfulvitality,alwaysthinkingofsomethingnewthatweoughttobedoingandaren't——andIwasconsciousatthetimethatmydatesweremixed。
  IthadnothingtodowithMaryatall,Iassureyou。“
  “MydearSally,don'tapologize,“saidMary,laughing。“Menaresuchpedants——theydon'tknowwhatthingsmatter,andwhatthingsdon't。“
  “Now,Denham,speakupforoursex,“saidMr。Clactoninajocularmanner,indeed,butlikemostinsignificantmenhewasveryquicktoresentbeingfoundfaultwithbyawoman,inargumentwithwhomhewasfondofcallinghimself“amereman。“Hewished,however,toenterintoaliteraryconservationwithMissHilbery,andthusletthematterdrop。
  “Doesn'titseemstrangetoyou,MissHilbery,“hesaid,“thattheFrench,withalltheirwealthofillustriousnames,havenopoetwhocancomparewithyourgrandfather?Letmesee。There'sChenierandHugoandAlfreddeMusset——wonderfulmen,but,atthesametime,there'sarichness,afreshnessaboutAlardyce——“
  Herethetelephonebellrang,andhehadtoabsenthimselfwithasmileandabowwhichsignifiedthat,althoughliteratureisdelightful,itisnotwork。Mrs。Sealroseatthesametime,butremainedhoveringoverthetable,deliveringherselfofatiradeagainstpartygovernment。“ForifIweretotellyouwhatIknowofback-stairsintrigue,andwhatcanbedonebythepowerofthepurse,youwouldn'tcreditme,Mr。Denham,youwouldn't,indeed。WhichiswhyIfeelthattheonlyworkformyfather'sdaughter——forhewasoneofthepioneers,Mr。Denham,andonhistombstoneIhadthatversefromthePsalmsput,aboutthesowersandtheseed……Andwhatwouldn'tIgivethatheshouldbealivenow,seeingwhatwe'regoingtosee——“
  butreflectingthatthegloriesofthefuturedependedinpartupontheactivityofhertypewriter,shebobbedherhead,andhurriedbacktotheseclusionofherlittleroom,fromwhichimmediatelyissuedsoundsofenthusiastic,butobviouslyerratic,composition。
  Marymadeitclearatonce,bystartingafreshtopicofgeneralinterest,thatthoughshesawthehumorofhercolleague,shedidnotintendtohaveherlaughedat。
  “Thestandardofmoralityseemstomefrightfullylow,“sheobservedreflectively,pouringoutasecondcupoftea,“especiallyamongwomenwhoaren'twelleducated。Theydon'tseethatsmallthingsmatter,andthat'swheretheleakagebegins,andthenwefindourselvesindifficulties——Iverynearlylostmytemperyesterday,“shewenton,lookingatRalphwithalittlesmile,asthoughheknewwhathappenedwhenshelosthertemper。“Itmakesmeveryangrywhenpeopletellmelies——doesn'titmakeyouangry?“sheaskedKatharine。
  “Butconsideringthateveryonetellslies,“Katharineremarked,lookingabouttheroomtoseewhereshehadputdownherumbrellaandherparcel,fortherewasanintimacyinthewayinwhichMaryandRalphaddressedeachotherwhichmadeherwishtoleavethem。Mary,ontheotherhand,wasanxious,superficiallyatleast,thatKatharineshouldstayandsofortifyherinherdeterminationnottobeinlovewithRalph。
  Ralph,whileliftinghiscupfromhislipstothetable,hadmadeuphismindthatifMissHilberyleft,hewouldgowithher。
  “Idon'tthinkthatItelllies,andIdon'tthinkthatRalphtellslies,doyou,Ralph?“Marycontinued。
  Katharinelaughed,withmoregayety,asitseemedtoMary,thanshecouldproperlyaccountfor。Whatwasshelaughingat?Atthem,presumably。Katharinehadrisen,andwasglancinghitherandthither,atthepressesandthecupboards,andallthemachineryoftheoffice,asifsheincludedthemallinherrathermaliciousamusement,whichcausedMarytokeephereyesonherstraightlyandratherfiercely,asifshewereagay-plumed,mischievousbird,whomightlightonthetopmostboughandpickofftheruddiestcherry,withoutanywarning。
  Twowomenlesslikeeachothercouldscarcelybeimagined,Ralphthought,lookingfromonetotheother。Nextmoment,hetoo,rose,andnoddingtoMary,asKatharinesaidgood-bye,openedthedoorforher,andfollowedherout。
  Marysatstillandmadenoattempttopreventthemfromgoing。Forasecondortwoafterthedoorhadshutonthemhereyesrestedonthedoorwithastraightforwardfiercenessinwhich,foramoment,acertaindegreeofbewildermentseemedtoenter;but,afterabriefhesitation,sheputdownhercupandproceededtoclearawaythetea-things。
  TheimpulsewhichhaddrivenRalphtotakethisactionwastheresultofaveryswiftlittlepieceofreasoning,andthus,perhaps,wasnotquitesomuchofanimpulseasitseemed。ItpassedthroughhismindthatifhemissedthischanceoftalkingtoKatharine,hewouldhavetofaceanenragedghost,whenhewasaloneinhisroomagain,demandinganexplanationofhiscowardlyindecision。Itwasbetter,onthewhole,toriskpresentdiscomfiturethantowasteaneveningbandyingexcusesandconstructingimpossiblesceneswiththisuncompromisingsectionofhimself。ForeversincehehadvisitedtheHilberyshehadbeenmuchatthemercyofaphantomKatharine,whocametohimwhenhesatalone,andansweredhimashewouldhaveheranswer,andwasalwaysbesidehimtocrownthosevaryingtriumphswhichweretransactedalmosteverynight,inimaginaryscenes,ashewalkedthroughthelamplitstreetshomefromtheoffice。TowalkwithKatharineinthefleshwouldeitherfeedthatphantomwithfreshfood,which,asallwhonourishdreamsareaware,isaprocessthatbecomesnecessaryfromtimetotime,orrefineittosuchadegreeofthinnessthatitwasscarcelyserviceableanylonger;andthat,too,issometimesawelcomechangetoadreamer。AndallthetimeRalphwaswellawarethatthebulkofKatharinewasnotrepresentedinhisdreamsatall,sothatwhenhemetherhewasbewilderedbythefactthatshehadnothingtodowithhisdreamofher。
  When,onreachingthestreet,KatharinefoundthatMr。Denhamproceededtokeeppacebyherside,shewassurprisedand,perhaps,alittleannoyed。She,too,hadhermarginofimagination,andto-nightheractivityinthisobscureregionofthemindrequiredsolitude。Ifshehadhadherway,shewouldhavewalkedveryfastdowntheTottenhamCourtRoad,andthensprungintoacabandracedswiftlyhome。Theviewshehadhadoftheinsideofanofficewasofthenatureofadreamtoher。Shutoffupthere,shecomparedMrs。Seal,andMaryDatchet,andMr。Clactontoenchantedpeopleinabewitchedtower,withthespiders'websloopingacrossthecornersoftheroom,andallthetoolsofthenecromancer'scraftathand;forsoaloofandunrealandapartfromthenormalworlddidtheyseemtoher,inthehouseofinnumerabletypewriters,murmuringtheirincantationsandconcoctingtheirdrugs,andflingingtheirfrailspiders'websoverthetorrentoflifewhichrusheddownthestreetsoutside。
  Shemayhavebeenconsciousthattherewassomeexaggerationinthisfancyofhers,forshecertainlydidnotwishtoshareitwithRalph。
  Tohim,shesupposed,MaryDatchet,composingleafletsforCabinetMinistersamonghertypewriters,representedallthatwasinterestingandgenuine;and,accordingly,sheshutthembothoutfromallshareinthecrowdedstreet,withitspendantnecklaceoflamps,itslightedwindows,anditsthrongofmenandwomen,whichexhilaratedhertosuchanextentthatsheverynearlyforgothercompanion。Shewalkedveryfast,andtheeffectofpeoplepassingintheoppositedirectionwastoproduceaqueerdizzinessbothinherheadandinRalph's,whichsettheirbodiesfarapart。Butshedidherdutybyhercompanionalmostunconsciously。
  “MaryDatchetdoesthatsortofworkverywell……She'sresponsibleforit,Isuppose?“
  “Yes。Theothersdon'thelpatall……Hasshemadeaconvertofyou?“
  “Ohno。Thatis,I'maconvertalready。“
  “Butshehasn'tpersuadedyoutoworkforthem?“
  “Ohdearno——thatwouldn'tdoatall。“
  SotheywalkedondowntheTottenhamCourtRoad,partingandcomingtogetheragain,andRalphfeltmuchasthoughhewereaddressingthesummitofapoplarinahighgaleofwind。
  “Supposewegetontothatomnibus?“hesuggested。
  Katharineacquiesced,andtheyclimbedup,andfoundthemselvesaloneontopofit。
  “Butwhichwayareyougoing?“Katharineasked,wakingalittlefromthetranceintowhichmovementamongmovingthingshadthrownher。
  “I'mgoingtotheTemple,“Ralphreplied,inventingadestinationonthespurofthemoment。Hefeltthechangecomeoverherastheysatdownandtheomnibusbegantomoveforward。Heimaginedhercontemplatingtheavenueinfrontofthemwiththosehonestsadeyeswhichseemedtosethimatsuchadistancefromthem。Butthebreezewasblowingintheirfaces;itliftedherhatforasecond,andshedrewoutapinandstuckitinagain,——alittleactionwhichseemed,forsomereason,tomakeherrathermorefallible。Ah,ifonlyherhatwouldblowoff,andleaveheraltogetherdisheveled,acceptingitfromhishands!
  “ThisislikeVenice,“sheobserved,raisingherhand。“Themotor-
  cars,Imean,shootingaboutsoquickly,withtheirlights。“
  “I'veneverseenVenice,“hereplied。“Ikeepthatandsomeotherthingsformyoldage。“
  “Whataretheotherthings?“sheasked。
  “There'sVeniceandIndiaand,Ithink,Dante,too。“
  Shelaughed。
  “Thinkofprovidingforone'soldage!AndwouldyourefusetoseeVeniceifyouhadthechance?“
  Insteadofansweringher,hewonderedwhetherheshouldtellhersomethingthatwasquitetrueabouthimself;andashewondered,hetoldher。
  “I'veplannedoutmylifeinsectionseversinceIwasachild,tomakeitlastlonger。Yousee,I'malwaysafraidthatI'mmissingsomething——“
  “AndsoamI!“Katharineexclaimed。“But,afterall,“sheadded,“whyshouldyoumissanything?“
  “Why?BecauseI'mpoor,foronething,“Ralphrejoined。“You,I
  suppose,canhaveVeniceandIndiaandDanteeverydayofyourlife。“
  Shesaidnothingforamoment,butrestedonehand,whichwasbareofglove,upontherailinfrontofher,meditatinguponavarietyofthings,ofwhichonewasthatthisstrangeyoungmanpronouncedDanteasshewasusedtohearingitpronounced,andanother,thathehad,mostunexpectedly,afeelingaboutlifethatwasfamiliartoher。
  Perhaps,then,hewasthesortofpersonshemighttakeaninterestin,ifshecametoknowhimbetter,andasshehadplacedhimamongthosewhomshewouldneverwanttoknowbetter,thiswasenoughtomakehersilent。Shehastilyrecalledherfirstviewofhim,inthelittleroomwheretherelicswerekept,andranabarthroughhalfherimpressions,asonecancelsabadlywrittensentence,havingfoundtherightone。
  “Buttoknowthatonemighthavethingsdoesn'talterthefactthatonehasn'tgotthem,“shesaid,insomeconfusion。“HowcouldIgotoIndia,forexample?Besides,“shebeganimpulsively,andstoppedherself。Heretheconductorcameround,andinterruptedthem。Ralphwaitedforhertoresumehersentence,butshesaidnomore。
  “Ihaveamessagetogiveyourfather,“heremarked。“Perhapsyouwouldgiveithim,orIcouldcome——“
  “Yes,docome,“Katharinereplied。
  “Still,Idon'tseewhyyoushouldn'tgotoIndia,“Ralphbegan,inordertokeepherfromrising,asshethreatenedtodo。
  Butshegotupinspiteofhim,andsaidgood-byewithherusualairofdecision,andlefthimwithaquicknesswhichRalphconnectednowwithallhermovements。Helookeddownandsawherstandingonthepavementedge,analert,commandingfigure,whichwaiteditsseasontocross,andthenwalkedboldlyandswiftlytotheotherside。Thatgestureandactionwouldbeaddedtothepicturehehadofher,butatpresenttherealwomancompletelyroutedthephantomone。
  CHAPTERVII
  AndlittleAugustusPelhamsaidtome,'It'stheyoungergenerationknockingatthedoor,'andIsaidtohim,'Oh,buttheyoungergenerationcomesinwithoutknocking,Mr。Pelham。'Suchafeeblelittlejoke,wasn'tit,butdownitwentintohisnotebookallthesame。“
  “Letuscongratulateourselvesthatweshallbeinthegravebeforethatworkispublished,“saidMr。Hilbery。
  Theelderlycouplewerewaitingforthedinner-belltoringandfortheirdaughtertocomeintotheroom。Theirarm-chairsweredrawnuponeithersideofthefire,andeachsatinthesameslightlycrouchedposition,lookingintothecoals,withtheexpressionsofpeoplewhohavehadtheirshareofexperiencesandwait,ratherpassively,forsomethingtohappen。Mr。Hilberynowgaveallhisattentiontoapieceofcoalwhichhadfallenoutofthegrate,andtoselectingafavorablepositionforitamongthelumpsthatwereburningalready。
  Mrs。Hilberywatchedhiminsilence,andthesmilechangedonherlipsasifhermindstillplayedwiththeeventsoftheafternoon。
  WhenMr。Hilberyhadaccomplishedhistask,heresumedhiscrouchingpositionagain,andbegantotoywiththelittlegreenstoneattachedtohiswatch-chain。Hisdeep,oval-shapedeyeswerefixedupontheflames,butbehindthesuperficialglazeseemedtobroodanobservantandwhimsicalspirit,whichkeptthebrownoftheeyestillunusuallyvivid。Butalookofindolence,theresultofskepticismorofatastetoofastidioustobesatisfiedbytheprizesandconclusionssoeasilywithinhisgrasp,lenthimanexpressionalmostofmelancholy。Aftersittingthusforatime,heseemedtoreachsomepointinhisthinkingwhichdemonstrateditsfutility,uponwhichhesighedandstretchedhishandforabooklyingonthetablebyhisside。
  Directlythedooropenedheclosedthebook,andtheeyesoffatherandmotherbothrestedonKatharineasshecametowardsthem。Thesightseemedatoncetogivethemamotivewhichtheyhadnothadbefore。Tothemsheappeared,asshewalkedtowardstheminherlighteveningdress,extremelyyoung,andthesightofherrefreshedthem,wereitonlybecauseheryouthandignorancemadetheirknowledgeoftheworldofsomevalue。
  “Theonlyexcuseforyou,Katharine,isthatdinnerisstilllaterthanyouare,“saidMr。Hilbery,puttingdownhisspectacles。
  “Idon'tmindherbeinglatewhentheresultissocharming,“saidMrs。Hilbery,lookingwithprideatherdaughter。“Still,Idon'tknowthatILIKEyourbeingoutsolate,Katharine,“shecontinued。“Youtookacab,Ihope?“
  Heredinnerwasannounced,andMr。Hilberyformallyledhiswifedownstairsonhisarm。Theywerealldressedfordinner,and,indeed,theprettinessofthedinner-tablemeritedthatcompliment。Therewasnoclothuponthetable,andthechinamaderegularcirclesofdeepblueupontheshiningbrownwood。Inthemiddletherewasabowloftawnyredandyellowchrysanthemums,andoneofpurewhite,sofreshthatthenarrowpetalswerecurvedbackwardsintoafirmwhiteball。
  FromthesurroundingwallstheheadsofthreefamousVictorianwriterssurveyedthisentertainment,andslipsofpaperpastedbeneaththemtestifiedinthegreatman'sownhandwritingthathewasyourssincerelyoraffectionatelyorforever。Thefatheranddaughterwouldhavebeenquitecontent,apparently,toeattheirdinnerinsilence,orwithafewcrypticremarksexpressedinashorthandwhichcouldnotbeunderstoodbytheservants。ButsilencedepressedMrs。Hilbery,andfarfrommindingthepresenceofmaids,shewouldoftenaddressherselftothem,andwasneveraltogetherunconsciousoftheirapprovalordisapprovalofherremarks。Inthefirstplaceshecalledthemtowitnessthattheroomwasdarkerthanusual,andhadallthelightsturnedon。
  “That'smorecheerful,“sheexclaimed。“D'youknow,Katharine,thatridiculousgoosecametoteawithme?Oh,howIwantedyou!Hetriedtomakeepigramsallthetime,andIgotsonervous,expectingthem,youknow,thatIspiltthetea——andhemadeanepigramaboutthat!“
  “Whichridiculousgoose?“Katharineaskedherfather。
  “Onlyoneofmygeese,happily,makesepigrams——AugustusPelham,ofcourse,“saidMrs。Hilbery。
  “I'mnotsorrythatIwasout,“saidKatharine。
  “PoorAugustus!“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。“Butwe'realltoohardonhim。Rememberhowdevotedheistohistiresomeoldmother。“
  “That'sonlybecausesheishismother。Anyoneconnectedwithhimself——“
  “No,no,Katharine——that'stoobad。That's——what'sthewordImean,Trevor,somethinglongandLatin——thesortofwordyouandKatharineknow——“
  Mr。Hilberysuggested“cynical。“
  “Well,that'lldo。Idon'tbelieveinsendinggirlstocollege,butI
  shouldteachthemthatsortofthing。Itmakesonefeelsodignified,bringingouttheselittleallusions,andpassingongracefullytothenexttopic。ButIdon'tknowwhat'scomeoverme——IactuallyhadtoaskAugustusthenameoftheladyHamletwasinlovewith,asyouwereout,Katharine,andHeavenknowswhathemayn'tputdownaboutmeinhisdiary。“
  “Iwish,“Katharinestarted,withgreatimpetuosity,andcheckedherself。Hermotheralwaysstirredhertofeelandthinkquickly,andthensherememberedthatherfatherwasthere,listeningwithattention。
  “Whatisityouwish?“heasked,asshepaused。
  Heoftensurprisedher,thus,intotellinghimwhatshehadnotmeanttotellhim;andthentheyargued,whileMrs。Hilberywentonwithherownthoughts。
  “Iwishmotherwasn'tfamous。Iwasoutattea,andtheywouldtalktomeaboutpoetry。“
  “Thinkingyoumustbepoetical,Isee——andaren'tyou?“
  “Who'sbeentalkingtoyouaboutpoetry,Katharine?“Mrs。Hilberydemanded,andKatharinewascommittedtogivingherparentsanaccountofhervisittotheSuffrageoffice。
  “TheyhaveanofficeatthetopofoneoftheoldhousesinRussellSquare。Ineversawsuchqueer-lookingpeople。AndthemandiscoveredIwasrelatedtothepoet,andtalkedtomeaboutpoetry。EvenMaryDatchetseemsdifferentinthatatmosphere。“
  “Yes,theofficeatmosphereisverybadforthesoul,“saidMr。
  Hilbery。
  “Idon'trememberanyofficesinRussellSquareintheolddays,whenMammalivedthere,“Mrs。Hilberymused,“andIcan'tfancyturningoneofthosenoblegreatroomsintoastuffylittleSuffrageoffice。
  Still,iftheclerksreadpoetrytheremustbesomethingniceaboutthem。“
  “No,becausetheydon'treaditaswereadit,“Katharineinsisted。
  “Butit'snicetothinkofthemreadingyourgrandfather,andnotfillingupthosedreadfullittleformsalldaylong,“Mrs。Hilberypersisted,hernotionofofficelifebeingderivedfromsomechanceviewofascenebehindthecounteratherbank,assheslippedthesovereignsintoherpurse。
  “Atanyrate,theyhaven'tmadeaconvertofKatharine,whichwaswhatIwasafraidof,“Mr。Hilberyremarked。
  “Ohno,“saidKatharineverydecidedly,“Iwouldn'tworkwiththemforanything。“
  “It'scurious,“Mr。Hilberycontinued,agreeingwithhisdaughter,“howthesightofone'sfellow-enthusiastsalwayschokesoneoff。Theyshowupthefaultsofone'scausesomuchmoreplainlythanone'santagonists。Onecanbeenthusiasticinone'sstudy,butdirectlyonecomesintotouchwiththepeoplewhoagreewithone,alltheglamorgoes。SoI'vealwaysfound,“andheproceededtotellthem,ashepeeledhisapple,howhecommittedhimselfonce,inhisyouthfuldays,tomakeaspeechatapoliticalmeeting,andwentthereablazewithenthusiasmfortheidealsofhisownside;butwhilehisleadersspoke,hebecamegraduallyconvertedtotheotherwayofthinking,ifthinkingitcouldbecalled,andhadtofeignillnessinordertoavoidmakingafoolofhimself——anexperiencewhichhadsickenedhimofpublicmeetings。
  Katharinelistenedandfeltasshegenerallydidwhenherfather,andtosomeextenthermother,describedtheirfeelings,thatshequiteunderstoodandagreedwiththem,but,atthesametime,sawsomethingwhichtheydidnotsee,andalwaysfeltsomedisappointmentwhentheyfellshortofhervision,astheyalwaysdid。Theplatessucceededeachotherswiftlyandnoiselesslyinfrontofher,andthetablewasdeckedfordessert,andasthetalkmurmuredoninfamiliargrooves,shesatthere,ratherlikeajudge,listeningtoherparents,whodid,indeed,feelitverypleasantwhentheymadeherlaugh。
  Dailylifeinahousewherethereareyoungandoldisfullofcuriouslittleceremoniesandpieties,whicharedischargedquitepunctually,thoughthemeaningofthemisobscure,andamysteryhascometobroodoverthemwhichlendsevenasuperstitiouscharmtotheirperformance。
  Suchwasthenightlyceremonyofthecigarandtheglassofport,whichwereplacedontherighthandandonthelefthandofMr。
  Hilbery,andsimultaneouslyMrs。HilberyandKatharinelefttheroom。
  AlltheyearstheyhadlivedtogethertheyhadneverseenMr。Hilberysmokehiscigarordrinkhisport,andtheywouldhavefeltitunseemlyif,bychance,theyhadsurprisedhimashesatthere。Theseshort,butclearlymarked,periodsofseparationbetweenthesexeswerealwaysusedforanintimatepostscripttowhathadbeensaidatdinner,thesenseofbeingwomentogethercomingoutmoststronglywhenthemalesexwas,asifbysomereligiousrite,secludedfromthefemale。Katharineknewbyheartthesortofmoodthatpossessedherasshewalkedupstairstothedrawing-room,hermother'sarminhers;andshecouldanticipatethepleasurewithwhich,whenshehadturnedonthelights,theybothregardedthedrawing-room,freshsweptandsetinorderforthelastsectionoftheday,withtheredparrotsswingingonthechintzcurtains,andthearm-chairswarmingintheblaze。Mrs。Hilberystoodoverthefire,withonefootonthefender,andherskirtsslightlyraised。
  “Oh,Katharine,“sheexclaimed,“howyou'vemademethinkofMammaandtheolddaysinRussellSquare!Icanseethechandeliers,andthegreensilkofthepiano,andMammasittinginhercashmereshawlbythewindow,singingtillthelittleragamuffinboysoutsidestoppedtolisten。Papasentmeinwithabunchofvioletswhilehewaitedroundthecorner。Itmusthavebeenasummerevening。Thatwasbeforethingswerehopeless……“
  Asshespokeanexpressionofregret,whichmusthavecomefrequentlytocausethelineswhichnowgrewdeeproundthelipsandeyes,settledonherface。Thepoet'smarriagehadnotbeenahappyone。Hehadlefthiswife,andaftersomeyearsofaratherrecklessexistence,shehaddied,beforehertime。Thisdisasterhadledtogreatirregularitiesofeducation,and,indeed,Mrs。Hilberymightbesaidtohaveescapededucationaltogether。Butshehadbeenherfather'scompanionattheseasonwhenhewrotethefinestofhispoems。Shehadsatonhiskneeintavernsandotherhauntsofdrunkenpoets,anditwasforhersake,sopeoplesaid,thathehadcuredhimselfofhisdissipation,andbecometheirreproachableliterarycharacterthattheworldknows,whoseinspirationhaddesertedhim。AsMrs。Hilberygrewoldshethoughtmoreandmoreofthepast,andthisancientdisasterseemedattimesalmosttopreyuponhermind,asifshecouldnotpassoutoflifeherselfwithoutlayingtheghostofherparent'ssorrowtorest。
  Katharinewishedtocomforthermother,butitwasdifficulttodothissatisfactorilywhenthefactsthemselvesweresomuchofalegend。ThehouseinRussellSquare,forexample,withitsnoblerooms,andthemagnolia-treeinthegarden,andthesweet-voicedpiano,andthesoundoffeetcomingdownthecorridors,andotherpropertiesofsizeandromance——hadtheyanyexistence?YetwhyshouldMrs。Alardyceliveallaloneinthisgiganticmansion,and,ifshedidnotlivealone,withwhomdidshelive?Foritsownsake,Katharineratherlikedthistragicstory,andwouldhavebeengladtohearthedetailsofit,andtohavebeenabletodiscussthemfrankly。Butthisitbecamelessandlesspossibletodo,forthoughMrs。Hilberywasconstantlyrevertingtothestory,itwasalwaysinthistentativeandrestlessfashion,asthoughbyatouchhereandthereshecouldsetthingsstraightwhichhadbeencrookedthesesixtyyears。Perhaps,indeed,shenolongerknewwhatthetruthwas。
  “Ifthey'dlivednow,“sheconcluded,“Ifeelitwouldn'thavehappened。Peoplearen'tsosetupontragedyastheywerethen。Ifmyfatherhadbeenabletogoroundtheworld,orifshe'dhadarestcure,everythingwouldhavecomeright。ButwhatcouldIdo?Andthentheyhadbadfriends,bothofthem,whomademischief。Ah,Katharine,whenyoumarry,bequite,quitesurethatyouloveyourhusband!“
  ThetearsstoodinMrs。Hilbery'seyes。
  Whilecomfortingher,Katharinethoughttoherself,“NowthisiswhatMaryDatchetandMr。Denhamdon'tunderstand。ThisisthesortofpositionI'malwaysgettinginto。Howsimpleitmustbetoliveastheydo!“foralltheeveningshehadbeencomparingherhomeandherfatherandmotherwiththeSuffrageofficeandthepeoplethere。
  “But,Katharine,“Mrs。Hilberycontinued,withoneofhersuddenchangesofmood,“though,Heavenknows,Idon'twanttoseeyoumarried,surelyifeveramanlovedawoman,Williamlovesyou。Andit'sanice,rich-soundingnametoo——KatharineRodney,which,unfortunately,doesn'tmeanthathe'sgotanymoney,becausehehasn't。“
  ThealterationofhernameannoyedKatharine,andsheobserved,rathersharply,thatshedidn'twanttomarryanyone。
  “It'sverydullthatyoucanonlymarryonehusband,certainly,“Mrs。
  Hilberyreflected。“Ialwayswishthatyoucouldmarryeverybodywhowantstomarryyou。Perhapsthey'llcometothatintime,butmeanwhileIconfessthatdearWilliam——“ButhereMr。Hilberycamein,andthemoresolidpartoftheeveningbegan。ThisconsistedinthereadingaloudbyKatharinefromsomeproseworkorother,whilehermotherknittedscarvesintermittentlyonalittlecircularframe,andherfatherreadthenewspaper,notsoattentivelybutthathecouldcommenthumorouslynowandagainuponthefortunesoftheheroandtheheroine。TheHilberyssubscribedtoalibrary,whichdeliveredbooksonTuesdaysandFridays,andKatharinedidherbesttointerestherparentsintheworksoflivingandhighlyrespectableauthors;butMrs。Hilberywasperturbedbytheverylookofthelight,gold-
  wreathedvolumes,andwouldmakelittlefacesasifshetastedsomethingbitterasthereadingwenton;whileMr。Hilberywouldtreatthemodernswithacuriouselaboratebantersuchasonemightapplytotheanticsofapromisingchild。Sothisevening,afterfivepagesorsoofoneofthesemasters,Mrs。Hilberyprotestedthatitwasalltoocleverandcheapandnastyforwords。
  “Please,Katharine,readussomethingREAL。“
  Katharinehadtogotothebookcaseandchooseaportlyvolumeinsleek,yellowcalf,whichhaddirectlyasedativeeffectuponbothherparents。ButthedeliveryoftheeveningpostbrokeinupontheperiodsofHenryFielding,andKatharinefoundthatherlettersneededallherattention。
  CHAPTERVIII
  Shetookherlettersuptoherroomwithher,havingpersuadedhermothertogotobeddirectlyMr。Hilberyleftthem,forsolongasshesatinthesameroomashermother,Mrs。Hilberymight,atanymoment,askforasightofthepost。AveryhastyglancethroughmanysheetshadshownKatharinethat,bysomecoincidence,herattentionhadtobedirectedtomanydifferentanxietiessimultaneously。Inthefirstplace,Rodneyhadwrittenaveryfullaccountofhisstateofmind,whichwasillustratedbyasonnet,andhedemandedareconsiderationoftheirposition,whichagitatedKatharinemorethansheliked。Thenthereweretwoletterswhichhadtobelaidsidebysideandcomparedbeforeshecouldmakeoutthetruthoftheirstory,andevenwhensheknewthefactsshecouldnotdecidewhattomakeofthem;andfinallyshehadtoreflectuponagreatmanypagesfromacousinwhofoundhimselfinfinancialdifficulties,whichforcedhimtotheuncongenialoccupationofteachingtheyoungladiesofBungaytoplayupontheviolin。
  Butthetwoletterswhicheachtoldthesamestorydifferentlywerethechiefsourceofherperplexity。Shewasreallyrathershockedtofinditdefinitelyestablishedthatherownsecondcousin,CyrilAlardyce,hadlivedforthelastfouryearswithawomanwhowasnothiswife,whohadbornehimtwochildren,andwasnowabouttobearhimanother。ThisstateofthingshadbeendiscoveredbyMrs。Milvain,herauntCelia,azealousinquirerintosuchmatters,whoseletterwasalsounderconsideration。Cyril,shesaid,mustbemadetomarrythewomanatonce;andCyril,rightlyorwrongly,wasindignantwithsuchinterferencewithhisaffairs,andwouldnotownthathehadanycausetobeashamedofhimself。Hadheanycausetobeashamedofhimself,Katharinewondered;andsheturnedtoherauntagain。
  “Remember,“shewrote,inherprofuse,emphaticstatement,“thathebearsyourgrandfather'sname,andsowillthechildthatistobeborn。Thepoorboyisnotsomuchtoblameasthewomanwhodeludedhim,thinkinghimagentleman,whichheIS,andhavingmoney,whichhehasNOT。“
  “WhatwouldRalphDenhamsaytothis?“thoughtKatharine,beginningtopaceupanddownherbedroom。Shetwitchedasidethecurtains,sothat,onturning,shewasfacedbydarkness,andlookingout,couldjustdistinguishthebranchesofaplane-treeandtheyellowlightsofsomeoneelse'swindows。
  “WhatwouldMaryDatchetandRalphDenhamsay?“shereflected,pausingbythewindow,which,asthenightwaswarm,sheraised,inordertofeeltheairuponherface,andtoloseherselfinthenothingnessofnight。Butwiththeairthedistanthummingsoundoffar-offcrowdedthoroughfareswasadmittedtotheroom。Theincessantandtumultuoushumofthedistanttrafficseemed,asshestoodthere,torepresentthethicktextureofherlife,forherlifewassohemmedinwiththeprogressofotherlivesthatthesoundofitsownadvancewasinaudible。PeoplelikeRalphandMary,shethought,haditalltheirownway,andanemptyspacebeforethem,and,assheenviedthem,shecasthermindouttoimagineanemptylandwhereallthispettyintercourseofmenandwomen,thislifemadeupofthedensecrossingsandentanglementsofmenandwomen,hadnoexistencewhatever。Evennow,alone,atnight,lookingoutintotheshapelessmassofLondon,shewasforcedtorememberthattherewasonepointandhereanotherwithwhichshehadsomeconnection。WilliamRodney,atthisverymoment,wasseatedinaminutespeckoflightsomewheretotheeastofher,andhismindwasoccupied,notwithhisbook,butwithher。Shewishedthatnooneinthewholeworldwouldthinkofher。However,therewasnowayofescapingfromone'sfellow-beings,sheconcluded,andshutthewindowwithasigh,andreturnedoncemoretoherletters。
  ShecouldnotdoubtbutthatWilliam'sletterwasthemostgenuineshehadyetreceivedfromhim。Hehadcometotheconclusionthathecouldnotlivewithouther,hewrote。Hebelievedthatheknewher,andcouldgiveherhappiness,andthattheirmarriagewouldbeunlikeothermarriages。Norwasthesonnet,inspiteofitsaccomplishment,lackinginpassion,andKatharine,asshereadthepagesthroughagain,couldseeinwhatdirectionherfeelingsoughttoflow,supposingtheyrevealedthemselves。Shewouldcometofeelahumoroussortoftendernessforhim,azealouscareforhissusceptibilities,and,afterall,sheconsidered,thinkingofherfatherandmother,whatislove?
  Naturally,withherface,position,andbackground,shehadexperienceofyoungmenwhowishedtomarryher,andmadeprotestationsoflove,but,perhapsbecauseshedidnotreturnthefeeling,itremainedsomethingofapageanttoher。Nothavingexperienceofitherself,hermindhadunconsciouslyoccupieditselfforsomeyearsindressingupanimageoflove,andthemarriagethatwastheoutcomeoflove,andthemanwhoinspiredlove,whichnaturallydwarfedanyexamplesthatcameherway。Easily,andwithoutcorrectionbyreason,herimaginationmadepictures,superbbackgroundscastingarichthoughphantomlightuponthefactsintheforeground。Splendidasthewatersthatdropwithresoundingthunderfromhighledgesofrock,andplungedownwardsintothebluedepthsofnight,wasthepresenceofloveshedreamt,drawingintoiteverydropoftheforceoflife,anddashingthemallasunderinthesuperbcatastropheinwhicheverythingwassurrendered,andnothingmightbereclaimed。Theman,too,wassomemagnanimoushero,ridingagreathorsebytheshoreofthesea。Theyrodethroughforeststogether,theygallopedbytherimofthesea。
  Butwaking,shewasabletocontemplateaperfectlylovelessmarriage,asthethingonedidactuallyinreallife,forpossiblythepeoplewhodreamthusarethosewhodothemostprosaicthings。
  Atthismomentshewasmuchinclinedtositonintothenight,spinningherlightfabricofthoughtsuntilshetiredoftheirfutility,andwenttohermathematics;but,assheknewverywell,itwasnecessarythatsheshouldseeherfatherbeforehewenttobed。
  ThecaseofCyrilAlardycemustbediscussed,hermother'sillusionsandtherightsofthefamilyattendedto。Beingvagueherselfastowhatallthisamountedto,shehadtotakecounselwithherfather。
  Shetookherlettersinherhandandwentdownstairs。Itwaspasteleven,andtheclockshadcomeintotheirreign,thegrandfather'sclockinthehalltickingincompetitionwiththesmallclockonthelanding。Mr。Hilbery'sstudyranoutbehindtherestofthehouse,onthegroundfloor,andwasaverysilent,subterraneanplace,thesunindaytimecastingamereabstractoflightthroughaskylightuponhisbooksandthelargetable,withitsspreadofwhitepapers,nowilluminedbyagreenreading-lamp。HereMr。Hilberysateditinghisreview,orplacingtogetherdocumentsbymeansofwhichitcouldbeprovedthatShelleyhadwritten“of“insteadof“and,“orthattheinninwhichByronhadsleptwascalledthe“Nag'sHead“andnotthe“TurkishKnight,“orthattheChristiannameofKeats'sunclehadbeenJohnratherthanRichard,forheknewmoreminutedetailsaboutthesepoetsthananymaninEngland,probably,andwaspreparinganeditionofShelleywhichscrupulouslyobservedthepoet'ssystemofpunctuation。Hesawthehumoroftheseresearches,butthatdidnotpreventhimfromcarryingthemoutwiththeutmostscrupulosity。
  Hewaslyingbackcomfortablyinadeeparm-chairsmokingacigar,andruminatingthefruitfulquestionastowhetherColeridgehadwishedtomarryDorothyWordsworth,andwhat,ifhehaddoneso,wouldhavebeentheconsequencestohiminparticular,andtoliteratureingeneral。
  WhenKatharinecameinhereflectedthatheknewwhatshehadcomefor,andhemadeapencilnotebeforehespoketoher。Havingdonethis,hesawthatshewasreading,andhewatchedherforamomentwithoutsayinganything。Shewasreading“IsabellaandthePotofBasil,“andhermindwasfulloftheItalianhillsandthebluedaylight,andthehedgessetwithlittlerosettesofredandwhiteroses。Feelingthatherfatherwaitedforher,shesighedandsaid,shuttingherbook:
  “I'vehadaletterfromAuntCeliaaboutCyril,father……Itseemstobetrue——abouthismarriage。Whatarewetodo?“
  “Cyrilseemstohavebeenbehavinginaveryfoolishmanner,“saidMr。
  Hilbery,inhispleasantanddeliberatetones。
  Katharinefoundsomedifficultyincarryingontheconversation,whileherfatherbalancedhisfinger-tipssojudiciously,andseemedtoreservesomanyofhisthoughtsforhimself。
  “He'saboutdoneforhimself,Ishouldsay,“hecontinued。Withoutsayinganything,hetookKatharine'slettersoutofherhand,adjustedhiseyeglasses,andreadthemthrough。
  Atlengthhesaid“Humph!“andgavethelettersbacktoher。
  “Motherknowsnothingaboutit,“Katharineremarked。“Willyoutellher?“
  “Ishalltellyourmother。ButIshalltellherthatthereisnothingwhateverforustodo。“
  “Butthemarriage?“Katharineasked,withsomediffidence。
  Mr。Hilberysaidnothing,andstaredintothefire。
  “Whatinthenameofconsciencedidhedoitfor?“hespeculatedatlast,rathertohimselfthantoher。
  Katharinehadbeguntoreadheraunt'sletteroveragain,andshenowquotedasentence。“IbsenandButler……Hehassentmealetterfullofquotations——nonsense,thoughclevernonsense。“
  “Well,iftheyoungergenerationwanttocarryonitslifeonthoselines,it'snoneofouraffair,“heremarked。
  “Butisn'titouraffair,perhaps,tomakethemgetmarried?“
  Katharineaskedratherwearily。
  “Whythedickensshouldtheyapplytome?“herfatherdemandedwithsuddenirritation。
  “Onlyastheheadofthefamily——“
  “ButI'mnottheheadofthefamily。Alfred'stheheadofthefamily。
  LetthemapplytoAlfred,“saidMr。Hilbery,relapsingagainintohisarm-chair。Katharinewasawarethatshehadtouchedasensitivespot,however,inmentioningthefamily。
  “Ithink,perhaps,thebestthingwouldbeformetogoandseethem,“
  sheobserved。
  “Iwon'thaveyougoinganywherenearthem,“Mr。Hilberyrepliedwithunwonteddecisionandauthority。“Indeed,Idon'tunderstandwhythey'vedraggedyouintothebusinessatall——Idon'tseethatit'sgotanythingtodowithyou。“
  “I'vealwaysbeenfriendswithCyril,“Katharineobserved。
  “Butdidheevertellyouanythingaboutthis?“Mr。Hilberyaskedrathersharply。
  Katharineshookherhead。Shewas,indeed,agooddealhurtthatCyrilhadnotconfidedinher——didhethink,asRalphDenhamorMaryDatchetmightthink,thatshewas,forsomereason,unsympathetic——hostileeven?
  “Astoyourmother,“saidMr。Hilbery,afterapause,inwhichheseemedtobeconsideringthecoloroftheflames,“youhadbettertellherthefacts。She'dbetterknowthefactsbeforeeveryonebeginstotalkaboutit,thoughwhyAuntCeliathinksitnecessarytocome,I'msureIdon'tknow。Andthelesstalkthereisthebetter。“
  Grantingtheassumptionthatgentlemenofsixtywhoarehighlycultivated,andhavehadmuchexperienceoflife,probablythinkofmanythingswhichtheydonotsay,Katharinecouldnothelpfeelingratherpuzzledbyherfather'sattitude,asshewentbacktoherroom。
  Whatadistancehewasfromitall!Howsuperficiallyhesmoothedtheseeventsintoasemblanceofdecencywhichharmonizedwithhisownviewoflife!HeneverwonderedwhatCyrilhadfelt,nordidthehiddenaspectsofthecasetempthimtoexamineintothem。Hemerelyseemedtorealize,ratherlanguidly,thatCyrilhadbehavedinawaywhichwasfoolish,becauseotherpeopledidnotbehaveinthatway。Heseemedtobelookingthroughatelescopeatlittlefigureshundredsofmilesinthedistance。
  HerselfishanxietynottohavetotellMrs。Hilberywhathadhappenedmadeherfollowherfatherintothehallafterbreakfastthenextmorninginordertoquestionhim。
  “Haveyoutoldmother?“sheasked。Hermannertoherfatherwasalmoststern,andsheseemedtoholdendlessdepthsofreflectioninthedarkofhereyes。
  Mr。Hilberysighed。
  “Mydearchild,itwentoutofmyhead。“Hesmoothedhissilkhatenergetically,andatonceaffectedanairofhurry。“I'llsendanoteroundfromtheoffice……I'mlatethismorning,andI'veanyamountofproofstogetthrough。“
  “Thatwouldn'tdoatall,“Katharinesaiddecidedly。“Shemustbetold——youorImusttellher。Weoughttohavetoldheratfirst。“
  Mr。Hilberyhadnowplacedhishatonhishead,andhishandwasonthedoor-knob。AnexpressionwhichKatharineknewwellfromherchildhood,whenheaskedhertoshieldhiminsomeneglectofduty,cameintohiseyes;malice,humor,andirresponsibilitywereblendedinit。Henoddedhisheadtoandfrosignificantly,openedthedoorwithanadroitmovement,andsteppedoutwithalightnessunexpectedathisage。Hewavedhishandoncetohisdaughter,andwasgone。Leftalone,Katharinecouldnothelplaughingtofindherselfcheatedasusualindomesticbargainingswithherfather,andlefttodothedisagreeableworkwhichbelonged,byrights,tohim。
  CHAPTERIX
  KatharinedislikedtellinghermotheraboutCyril'smisbehaviorquiteasmuchasherfatherdid,andformuchthesamereasons。Theybothshrank,nervously,aspeoplefearthereportofagunonthestage,fromallthatwouldhavetobesaidonthisoccasion。Katharine,moreover,wasunabletodecidewhatshethoughtofCyril'smisbehavior。Asusual,shesawsomethingwhichherfatherandmotherdidnotsee,andtheeffectofthatsomethingwastosuspendCyril'sbehaviorinhermindwithoutanyqualificationatall。Theywouldthinkwhetheritwasgoodorbad;toheritwasmerelyathingthathadhappened。
  WhenKatharinereachedthestudy,Mrs。Hilberyhadalreadydippedherpenintheink。
  “Katharine,“shesaid,liftingitintheair,“I'vejustmadeoutsuchaqueer,strangethingaboutyourgrandfather。I'mthreeyearsandsixmonthsolderthanhewaswhenhedied。Icouldn'tverywellhavebeenhismother,butImighthavebeenhiseldersister,andthatseemstomesuchapleasantfancy。I'mgoingtostartquitefreshthismorning,andgetalotdone。“
  Shebeganhersentence,atanyrate,andKatharinesatdownatherowntable,untiedthebundleofoldlettersuponwhichshewasworking,smoothedthemoutabsent-mindedly,andbegantodecipherthefadedscript。Inaminuteshelookedacrossathermother,tojudgehermood。Peaceandhappinesshadrelaxedeverymuscleinherface;herlipswerepartedveryslightly,andherbreathcameinsmooth,controlledinspirationslikethoseofachildwhoissurroundingitselfwithabuildingofbricks,andincreasinginecstasyaseachbrickisplacedinposition。SoMrs。Hilberywasraisingroundhertheskiesandtreesofthepastwitheverystrokeofherpen,andrecallingthevoicesofthedead。Quietastheroomwas,andundisturbedbythesoundsofthepresentmoment,Katharinecouldfancythatherewasadeeppoolofpasttime,andthatsheandhermotherwerebathedinthelightofsixtyyearsago。Whatcouldthepresentgive,shewondered,tocomparewiththerichcrowdofgiftsbestowedbythepast?HerewasaThursdaymorninginprocessofmanufacture;
  eachsecondwasmintedfreshbytheclockuponthemantelpiece。Shestrainedherearsandcouldjusthear,faroff,thehootofamotor-carandtherushofwheelscomingneareranddyingawayagain,andthevoicesofmencryingoldironandvegetablesinoneofthepoorerstreetsatthebackofthehouse。Rooms,ofcourse,accumulatetheirsuggestions,andanyroominwhichonehasbeenusedtocarryonanyparticularoccupationgivesoffmemoriesofmoods,ofideas,ofposturesthathavebeenseeninit;sothattoattemptanydifferentkindofworkthereisalmostimpossible。
  Katharinewasunconsciouslyaffected,eachtimesheenteredhermother'sroom,byalltheseinfluences,whichhadhadtheirbirthyearsago,whenshewasachild,andhadsomethingsweetandsolemnaboutthem,andconnectedthemselveswithearlymemoriesofthecavernousgloomsandsonorousechoesoftheAbbeywherehergrandfatherlayburied。Allthebooksandpictures,eventhechairsandtables,hadbelongedtohim,orhadreferencetohim;eventhechinadogsonthemantelpieceandthelittleshepherdesseswiththeirsheephadbeenboughtbyhimforapennyapiecefromamanwhousedtostandwithatrayoftoysinKensingtonHighStreet,asKatharinehadoftenheardhermothertell。Oftenshehadsatinthisroom,withhermindfixedsofirmlyonthosevanishedfiguresthatshecouldalmostseethemusclesroundtheireyesandlips,andhadgiventoeachhisownvoice,withitstricksofaccent,andhiscoatandhiscravat。Oftenshehadseemedtoherselftobemovingamongthem,aninvisibleghostamongtheliving,betteracquaintedwiththemthanwithherownfriends,becausesheknewtheirsecretsandpossessedadivineforeknowledgeoftheirdestiny。Theyhadbeensounhappy,suchmuddlers,sowrong-headed,itseemedtoher。Shecouldhavetoldthemwhattodo,andwhatnottodo。Itwasamelancholyfactthattheywouldpaynoheedtoher,andwereboundtocometogriefintheirownantiquatedway。Theirbehaviorwasoftengrotesquelyirrational;theirconventionsmonstrouslyabsurd;andyet,asshebroodeduponthem,shefeltsocloselyattachedtothemthatitwasuselesstotrytopassjudgmentuponthem。Sheverynearlylostconsciousnessthatshewasaseparatebeing,withafutureofherown。Onamorningofslightdepression,suchasthis,shewouldtrytofindsomesortofcluetothemuddlewhichtheiroldletterspresented;somereasonwhichseemedtomakeitworthwhiletothem;someaimwhichtheykeptsteadilyinview——butshewasinterrupted。
  Mrs。Hilberyhadrisenfromhertable,andwasstandinglookingoutofthewindowatastringofbargesswimminguptheriver。
  Katharinewatchedher。SuddenlyMrs。Hilberyturnedabruptly,andexclaimed:
  “IreallybelieveI'mbewitched!Ionlywantthreesentences,yousee,somethingquitestraightforwardandcommonplace,andIcan'tfind'em。“
  Shebegantopaceupanddowntheroom,snatchingupherduster;butshewastoomuchannoyedtofindanyrelief,asyet,inpolishingthebacksofbooks。
  “Besides,“shesaid,givingthesheetshehadwrittentoKatharine,“I
  don'tbelievethis'lldo。DidyourgrandfatherevervisittheHebrides,Katharine?“Shelookedinastrangelybeseechingwayatherdaughter。“MymindgotrunningontheHebrides,andIcouldn'thelpwritingalittledescriptionofthem。Perhapsitwoulddoatthebeginningofachapter。Chaptersoftenbeginquitedifferentlyfromthewaytheygoon,youknow。“Katharinereadwhathermotherhadwritten。Shemighthavebeenaschoolmastercriticizingachild'sessay。HerfacegaveMrs。Hilbery,whowatcheditanxiously,nogroundforhope。
  “It'sverybeautiful,“shestated,“but,yousee,mother,weoughttogofrompointtopoint——“
  “Oh,Iknow,“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。“Andthat'sjustwhatIcan'tdo。Thingskeepcomingintomyhead。Itisn'tthatIdon'tknoweverythingandfeeleverythingwhodidknowhim,ifIdidn't?,butI
  can'tputitdown,yousee。There'sakindofblindspot,“shesaid,touchingherforehead,“there。AndwhenIcan'tsleepo'nights,I
  fancyIshalldiewithouthavingdoneit。“
  Fromexultationshehadpassedtothedepthsofdepressionwhichtheimaginationofherdeatharoused。ThedepressioncommunicateditselftoKatharine。Howimpotenttheywere,fiddlingaboutalldaylongwithpapers!Andtheclockwasstrikingelevenandnothingdone!Shewatchedhermother,nowrummaginginagreatbrass-boundboxwhichstoodbyhertable,butshedidnotgotoherhelp。Ofcourse,Katharinereflected,hermotherhadnowlostsomepaper,andtheywouldwastetherestofthemorninglookingforit。Shecasthereyesdowninirritation,andreadagainhermother'smusicalsentencesaboutthesilvergulls,andtherootsoflittlepinkflowerswashedbypellucidstreams,andthebluemistsofhyacinths,untilshewasstruckbyhermother'ssilence。Sheraisedhereyes。Mrs。Hilberyhademptiedaportfoliocontainingoldphotographsoverhertable,andwaslookingfromonetoanother。
  “Surely,Katharine,“shesaid,“themenwerefarhandsomerinthosedaysthantheyarenow,inspiteoftheirodiouswhiskers?LookatoldJohnGraham,inhiswhitewaistcoat——lookatUncleHarley。That'sPeterthemanservant,Isuppose。UncleJohnbroughthimbackfromIndia。“
  Katharinelookedathermother,butdidnotstiroranswer。Shehadsuddenlybecomeveryangry,witharagewhichtheirrelationshipmadesilent,andthereforedoublypowerfulandcritical。Shefeltalltheunfairnessoftheclaimwhichhermothertacitlymadetohertimeandsympathy,andwhatMrs。Hilberytook,Katharinethoughtbitterly,shewasted。Then,inaflash,sherememberedthatshehadstilltotellheraboutCyril'smisbehavior。Herangerimmediatelydissipateditself;itbrokelikesomewavethathasgathereditselfhighabovetherest;thewaterswereresumedintotheseaagain,andKatharinefeltoncemorefullofpeaceandsolicitude,andanxiousonlythathermothershouldbeprotectedfrompain。Shecrossedtheroominstinctively,andsatonthearmofhermother'schair。Mrs。Hilberyleantherheadagainstherdaughter'sbody。
  “Whatisnobler,“shemused,turningoverthephotographs,“thantobeawomantowhomeveryoneturns,insorrowordifficulty?Howhavetheyoungwomenofyourgenerationimproveduponthat,Katharine?Icanseethemnow,sweepingoverthelawnsatMelburyHouse,intheirflouncesandfurbelows,socalmandstatelyandimperialandthemonkeyandthelittleblackdwarffollowingbehind,asifnothingmatteredintheworldbuttobebeautifulandkind。Buttheydidmorethanwedo,Isometimesthink。TheyWERE,andthat'sbetterthandoing。Theyseemtomelikeships,likemajesticships,holdingontheirway,notshovingorpushing,notfrettedbylittlethings,asweare,buttakingtheirway,likeshipswithwhitesails。“
  Katharinetriedtointerruptthisdiscourse,buttheopportunitydidnotcome,andshecouldnotforbeartoturnoverthepagesofthealbuminwhichtheoldphotographswerestored。Thefacesofthesemenandwomenshoneforthwonderfullyafterthehubbuboflivingfaces,andseemed,ashermotherhadsaid,towearamarvelousdignityandcalm,asiftheyhadruledtheirkingdomsjustlyanddeservedgreatlove。Somewereofalmostincrediblebeauty,otherswereuglyenoughinaforcibleway,butnoneweredullorboredorinsignificant。Thesuperbstifffoldsofthecrinolinessuitedthewomen;thecloaksandhatsofthegentlemenseemedfullofcharacter。OncemoreKatharinefeltthesereneairallroundher,andseemedfarofftohearthesolemnbeatingoftheseaupontheshore。Butsheknewthatshemustjointhepresentontothispast。
  Mrs。Hilberywasramblingon,fromstorytostory。
  “That'sJanieMannering,“shesaid,pointingtoasuperb,white-haireddame,whosesatinrobesseemedstrungwithpearls。“ImusthavetoldyouhowshefoundhercookdrunkunderthekitchentablewhentheEmpresswascomingtodinner,andtuckeduphervelvetsleevesshealwaysdressedlikeanEmpressherself,cookedthewholemeal,andappearedinthedrawing-roomasifshe'dbeensleepingonabankofrosesallday。Shecoulddoanythingwithherhands——theyallcould——
  makeacottageorembroiderapetticoat。