Theworstofitwasthatshehadnoaptitudeforliterature。Shedidnotlikephrases。Shehadevensomenaturalantipathytothatprocessofself-examination,thatperpetualefforttounderstandone'sownfeeling,andexpressitbeautifully,fitly,orenergeticallyinlanguage,whichconstitutedsogreatapartofhermother'sexistence。
Shewas,onthecontrary,inclinedtobesilent;sheshrankfromexpressingherselfevenintalk,letaloneinwriting。Asthisdispositionwashighlyconvenientinafamilymuchgiventothemanufactureofphrases,andseemedtoargueacorrespondingcapacityforaction,shewas,fromherchildhoodeven,putinchargeofhouseholdaffairs。Shehadthereputation,whichnothinginhermannercontradicted,ofbeingthemostpracticalofpeople。Orderingmeals,directingservants,payingbills,andsocontrivingthateveryclocktickedmoreorlessaccuratelyintime,andanumberofvaseswerealwaysfulloffreshflowerswassupposedtobeanaturalendowmentofhers,and,indeed,Mrs。Hilberyoftenobservedthatitwaspoetrythewrongsideout。Fromaveryearlyage,too,shehadtoexertherselfinanothercapacity;shehadtocounselandhelpandgenerallysustainhermother。Mrs。Hilberywouldhavebeenperfectlywellabletosustainherselfiftheworldhadbeenwhattheworldisnot。Shewasbeautifullyadaptedforlifeinanotherplanet。Butthenaturalgeniusshehadforconductingaffairstherewasofnorealusetoherhere。
Herwatch,forexample,wasaconstantsourceofsurprisetoher,andattheageofsixty-fiveshewasstillamazedattheascendancywhichrulesandreasonsexertedoverthelivesofotherpeople。Shehadneverlearntherlesson,andhadconstantlytobepunishedforherignorance。Butasthatignorancewascombinedwithafinenaturalinsightwhichsawdeepwheneveritsawatall,itwasnotpossibletowriteMrs。Hilberyoffamongthedunces;onthecontrary,shehadawayofseemingthewisestpersonintheroom。But,onthewhole,shefounditverynecessarytoseeksupportinherdaughter。
Katharine,thus,wasamemberofaverygreatprofessionwhichhas,asyet,notitleandverylittlerecognition,althoughthelaborofmillandfactoryis,perhaps,nomoresevereandtheresultsoflessbenefittotheworld。Shelivedathome。Shediditverywell,too。
AnyonecomingtothehouseinCheyneWalkfeltthatherewasanorderlyplace,shapely,controlled——aplacewherelifehadbeentrainedtoshowtothebestadvantage,and,thoughcomposedofdifferentelements,madetoappearharmoniousandwithacharacterofitsown。PerhapsitwasthechieftriumphofKatharine'sartthatMrs。
Hilbery'scharacterpredominated。SheandMr。Hilberyappearedtobearichbackgroundforhermother'smorestrikingqualities。
Silencebeing,thus,bothnaturaltoherandimposeduponher,theonlyotherremarkthathermother'sfriendswereinthehabitofmakingaboutitwasthatitwasneitherastupidsilencenoranindifferentsilence。Buttowhatqualityitoweditscharacter,sincecharacterofsomesortithad,noonetroubledthemselvestoinquire。
Itwasunderstoodthatshewashelpinghermothertoproduceagreatbook。Shewasknowntomanagethehousehold。Shewascertainlybeautiful。Thataccountedforhersatisfactorily。Butitwouldhavebeenasurprise,notonlytootherpeoplebuttoKatharineherself,ifsomemagicwatchcouldhavetakencountofthemomentsspentinanentirelydifferentoccupationfromherostensibleone。Sittingwithfadedpapersbeforeher,shetookpartinaseriesofscenessuchasthetamingofwildponiesupontheAmericanprairies,ortheconductofavastshipinahurricaneroundablackpromontoryofrock,orinothersmorepeaceful,butmarkedbyhercompleteemancipationfromherpresentsurroundingsand,needlesstosay,byhersurpassingabilityinhernewvocation。Whenshewasridofthepretenseofpaperandpen,phrase-makingandbiography,sheturnedherattentioninamorelegitimatedirection,though,strangelyenough,shewouldratherhaveconfessedherwildestdreamsofhurricaneandprairiethanthefactthat,upstairs,aloneinherroom,sheroseearlyinthemorningorsatuplateatnightto……workatmathematics。Noforceonearthwouldhavemadeherconfessthat。Heractionswhenthusengagedwerefurtiveandsecretive,likethoseofsomenocturnalanimal。Stepshadonlytosoundonthestaircase,andsheslippedherpaperbetweentheleavesofagreatGreekdictionarywhichshehadpurloinedfromherfather'sroomforthispurpose。Itwasonlyatnight,indeed,thatshefeltsecureenoughfromsurprisetoconcentratehermindtotheutmost。
Perhapstheunwomanlynatureofthesciencemadeherinstinctivelywishtoconcealherloveofit。Butthemoreprofoundreasonwasthatinhermindmathematicsweredirectlyopposedtoliterature。Shewouldnothavecaredtoconfesshowinfinitelyshepreferredtheexactitude,thestar-likeimpersonality,offigurestotheconfusion,agitation,andvaguenessofthefinestprose。Therewassomethingalittleunseemlyinthusopposingthetraditionofherfamily;somethingthatmadeherfeelwrong-headed,andthusmorethaneverdisposedtoshutherdesiresawayfromviewandcherishthemwithextraordinaryfondness。Againandagainshewasthinkingofsomeproblemwhensheshouldhavebeenthinkingofhergrandfather。Wakingfromthesetrances,shewouldseethathermother,too,hadlapsedintosomedreamalmostasvisionaryasherown,forthepeoplewhoplayedtheirpartsinithadlongbeennumberedamongthedead。But,seeingherownstatemirroredinhermother'sface,Katharinewouldshakeherselfawakewithasenseofirritation。Hermotherwasthelastpersonshewishedtoresemble,muchthoughsheadmiredher。Hercommonsensewouldassertitselfalmostbrutally,andMrs。Hilbery,lookingatherwithheroddsidelongglance,thatwashalfmaliciousandhalftender,wouldlikenherto“yourwickedoldUncleJudgePeter,whousedtobehearddeliveringsentenceofdeathinthebathroom。ThankHeaven,Katharine,I'venotadropofHIMinme!“
CHAPTERIV
Ataboutnineo'clockatnight,oneveryalternateWednesday,MissMaryDatchetmadethesameresolve,thatshewouldneveragainlendherroomsforanypurposeswhatsoever。Being,astheywere,ratherlargeandconvenientlysituatedinastreetmostlydedicatedtoofficesofftheStrand,peoplewhowishedtomeet,eitherforpurposesofenjoyment,ortodiscussart,ortoreformtheState,hadawayofsuggestingthatMaryhadbetterbeaskedtolendthemherrooms。Shealwaysmettherequestwiththesamefrownofwell-simulatedannoyance,whichpresentlydissolvedinakindofhalf-humorous,half-
surlyshrug,asofalargedogtormentedbychildrenwhoshakeshisears。Shewouldlendherroom,butonlyonconditionthatallthearrangementsweremadebyher。Thisfortnightlymeetingofasocietyforthefreediscussionofeverythingentailedagreatdealofmoving,andpulling,andrangingoffurnitureagainstthewall,andplacingofbreakableandpreciousthingsinsafeplaces。MissDatchetwasquitecapableofliftingakitchentableonherback,ifneedwere,foralthoughwell-proportionedanddressedbecomingly,shehadtheappearanceofunusualstrengthanddetermination。
Shewassometwenty-fiveyearsofage,butlookedolderbecausesheearned,orintendedtoearn,herownliving,andhadalreadylostthelookoftheirresponsiblespectator,andtakenonthatoftheprivateinthearmyofworkers。Hergesturesseemedtohaveacertainpurpose,themusclesroundeyesandlipsweresetratherfirmly,asthoughthesenseshadundergonesomediscipline,andwereheldreadyforacallonthem。Shehadcontractedtwofaintlinesbetweenhereyebrows,notfromanxietybutfromthought,anditwasquiteevidentthatallthefeminineinstinctsofpleasing,soothing,andcharmingwerecrossedbyothersinnowaypeculiartohersex。Fortherestshewasbrown-eyed,alittleclumsyinmovement,andsuggestedcountrybirthandadescentfromrespectablehard-workingancestors,whohadbeenmenoffaithandintegrityratherthandoubtersorfanatics。
Attheendofafairlyhardday'sworkitwascertainlysomethingofanefforttoclearone'sroom,topullthemattressoffone'sbed,andlayitonthefloor,tofillapitcherwithcoldcoffee,andtosweepalongtableclearforplatesandcupsandsaucers,withpyramidsoflittlepinkbiscuitsbetweenthem;butwhenthesealterationswereeffected,Maryfeltalightnessofspiritcometoher,asifshehadputoffthestoutstuffofherworkinghoursandslippedoverherentirebeingsomevestureofthin,brightsilk。Shekneltbeforethefireandlookedoutintotheroom。Thelightfellsoftly,butwithclearradiance,throughshadesofyellowandbluepaper,andtheroom,whichwassetwithoneortwosofasresemblinggrassymoundsintheirlackofshape,lookedunusuallylargeandquiet。MarywasledtothinkoftheheightsofaSussexdown,andtheswellinggreencircleofsomecampofancientwarriors。Themoonlightwouldbefallingtheresopeacefullynow,andshecouldfancytheroughpathwayofsilveruponthewrinkledskinofthesea。
“Andhereweare,“shesaid,halfaloud,halfsatirically,yetwithevidentpride,“talkingaboutart。“
Shepulledabasketcontainingballsofdifferentlycoloredwoolsandapairofstockingswhichneededdarningtowardsher,andbegantosetherfingerstowork;whilehermind,reflectingthelassitudeofherbody,wentonperversely,conjuringupvisionsofsolitudeandquiet,andshepicturedherselflayingasideherknittingandwalkingoutontothedown,andhearingnothingbutthesheepcroppingthegrassclosetotheroots,whiletheshadowsofthelittletreesmovedveryslightlythiswayandthatinthemoonlight,asthebreezewentthroughthem。Butshewasperfectlyconsciousofherpresentsituation,andderivedsomepleasurefromthereflectionthatshecouldrejoiceequallyinsolitude,andinthepresenceofthemanyverydifferentpeoplewhowerenowmakingtheirway,bydiverspaths,acrossLondontothespotwhereshewassitting。
Assheranherneedleinandoutofthewool,shethoughtofthevariousstagesinherownlifewhichmadeherpresentpositionseemtheculminationofsuccessivemiracles。Shethoughtofherclericalfatherinhiscountryparsonage,andofhermother'sdeath,andofherowndeterminationtoobtaineducation,andofhercollegelife,whichhadmerged,notsoverylongago,inthewonderfulmazeofLondon,whichstillseemedtoher,inspiteofherconstitutionallevel-headedness,likeavastelectriclight,castingradianceuponthemyriadsofmenandwomenwhocrowdedroundit。Andhereshewasattheverycenterofitall,thatcenterwhichwasconstantlyinthemindsofpeopleinremoteCanadianforestsandontheplainsofIndia,whentheirthoughtsturnedtoEngland。Theninemellowstrokes,bywhichshewasnowapprisedofthehour,wereamessagefromthegreatclockatWestminsteritself。Asthelastofthemdiedaway,therewasafirmknockingonherowndoor,andsheroseandopenedit。Shereturnedtotheroom,withalookofsteadypleasureinhereyes,andshewastalkingtoRalphDenham,whofollowedher。
“Alone?“hesaid,asifhewerepleasantlysurprisedbythatfact。
“Iamsometimesalone,“shereplied。
“Butyouexpectagreatmanypeople,“headded,lookingroundhim。
“It'slikearoomonthestage。Whoisitto-night?“
“WilliamRodney,upontheElizabethanuseofmetaphor。Iexpectagoodsolidpaper,withplentyofquotationsfromtheclassics。“
Ralphwarmedhishandsatthefire,whichwasflappingbravelyinthegrate,whileMarytookupherstockingagain。
“IsupposeyouaretheonlywomaninLondonwhodarnsherownstockings,“heobserved。
“I'monlyoneofagreatmanythousandsreally,“shereplied,“thoughImustadmitthatIwasthinkingmyselfveryremarkablewhenyoucamein。Andnowthatyou'rehereIdon'tthinkmyselfremarkableatall。
Howhorridofyou!ButI'mafraidyou'remuchmoreremarkablethanI
am。You'vedonemuchmorethanI'vedone。“
“Ifthat'syourstandard,you'venothingtobeproudof,“saidRalphgrimly。
“Well,ImustreflectwithEmersonthatit'sbeingandnotdoingthatmatters,“shecontinued。
“Emerson?“Ralphexclaimed,withderision。“Youdon'tmeantosayyoureadEmerson?“
“Perhapsitwasn'tEmerson;butwhyshouldn'tIreadEmerson?“sheasked,withatingeofanxiety。
“There'snoreasonthatIknowof。It'sthecombinationthat'sodd——
booksandstockings。Thecombinationisveryodd。“Butitseemedtorecommenditselftohim。Marygavealittlelaugh,expressiveofhappiness,andtheparticularstitchesthatshewasnowputtingintoherworkappearedtohertobedonewithsingulargraceandfelicity。
Sheheldoutthestockingandlookedatitapprovingly。
“Youalwayssaythat,“shesaid。“Iassureyouit'sacommon'combination,'asyoucallit,inthehousesoftheclergy。Theonlythingthat'soddaboutmeisthatIenjoythemboth——Emersonandthestocking。“
Aknockwasheard,andRalphexclaimed:
“Damnthosepeople!Iwishtheyweren'tcoming!“
“It'sonlyMr。Turner,onthefloorbelow,“saidMary,andshefeltgratefultoMr。TurnerforhavingalarmedRalph,andforhavinggivenafalsealarm。
“Willtherebeacrowd?“Ralphasked,afterapause。
“There'llbetheMorrisesandtheCrashaws,andDickOsborne,andSeptimus,andallthatset。KatharineHilberyiscoming,bytheway,soWilliamRodneytoldme。“
“KatharineHilbery!“Ralphexclaimed。
“Youknowher?“Maryasked,withsomesurprise。
“Iwenttoatea-partyatherhouse。“
Marypressedhimtotellherallaboutit,andRalphwasnotatallunwillingtoexhibitproofsoftheextentofhisknowledge。HedescribedthescenewithcertainadditionsandexaggerationswhichinterestedMaryverymuch。
“But,inspiteofwhatyousay,Idoadmireher,“shesaid。“I'veonlyseenheronceortwice,butsheseemstometobewhatonecallsa'personality。'“
“Ididn'tmeantoabuseher。Ionlyfeltthatshewasn'tverysympathetictome。“
“Theysayshe'sgoingtomarrythatqueercreatureRodney。“
“MarryRodney?ThenshemustbemoredeludedthanIthoughther。“
“Nowthat'smydoor,allright,“Maryexclaimed,carefullyputtingherwoolsaway,asasuccessionofknocksreverberatedunnecessarily,accompaniedbyasoundofpeoplestampingtheirfeetandlaughing。A
momentlatertheroomwasfullofyoungmenandwomen,whocameinwithapeculiarlookofexpectation,exclaimed“Oh!“whentheysawDenham,andthenstoodstill,gapingratherfoolishly。
Theroomverysooncontainedbetweentwentyandthirtypeople,whofoundseatsforthemostpartuponthefloor,occupyingthemattresses,andhunchingthemselvestogetherintotriangularshapes。
Theywereallyoungandsomeofthemseemedtomakeaprotestbytheirhairanddress,andsomethingsomberandtruculentintheexpressionoftheirfaces,againstthemorenormaltype,whowouldhavepassedunnoticedinanomnibusoranundergroundrailway。Itwasnotablethatthetalkwasconfinedtogroups,andwas,atfirst,entirelyspasmodicincharacter,andmutteredinundertonesasifthespeakersweresuspiciousoftheirfellow-guests。
KatharineHilberycameinratherlate,andtookupapositiononthefloor,withherbackagainstthewall。Shelookedroundquickly,recognizedabouthalfadozenpeople,towhomshenodded,butfailedtoseeRalph,or,ifso,hadalreadyforgottentoattachanynametohim。ButinasecondtheseheterogeneouselementswereallunitedbythevoiceofMr。Rodney,whosuddenlystrodeuptothetable,andbeganveryrapidlyinhigh-strainedtones:
“InundertakingtospeakoftheElizabethanuseofmetaphorinpoetry——“
Allthedifferentheadsswungslightlyorsteadiedthemselvesintoapositioninwhichtheycouldgazestraightatthespeaker'sface,andthesamerathersolemnexpressionwasvisibleonallofthem。But,atthesametime,eventhefacesthatweremostexposedtoview,andthereforemosttautlyundercontrol,disclosedasuddenimpulsivetremorwhich,unlessdirectlychecked,wouldhavedevelopedintoanoutburstoflaughter。ThefirstsightofMr。Rodneywasirresistiblyludicrous。Hewasveryredintheface,whetherfromthecoolNovembernightornervousness,andeverymovement,fromthewayhewrunghishandstothewayhejerkedhisheadtorightandleft,asthoughavisiondrewhimnowtothedoor,nowtothewindow,bespokehishorriblediscomfortunderthestareofsomanyeyes。Hewasscrupulouslywelldressed,andapearlinthecenterofhistieseemedtogivehimatouchofaristocraticopulence。Buttheratherprominenteyesandtheimpulsivestammeringmanner,whichseemedtoindicateatorrentofideasintermittentlypressingforutteranceandalwayscheckedintheircoursebyaclutchofnervousness,drewnopity,asinthecaseofamoreimposingpersonage,butadesiretolaugh,whichwas,however,entirelylackinginmalice。Mr。Rodneywasevidentlysopainfullyconsciousoftheoddityofhisappearance,andhisveryrednessandthestartstowhichhisbodywasliablegavesuchproofofhisowndiscomfort,thattherewassomethingendearinginthisridiculoussusceptibility,althoughmostpeoplewouldprobablyhaveechoedDenham'sprivateexclamation,“Fancymarryingacreaturelikethat!“
Hispaperwascarefullywrittenout,butinspiteofthisprecautionMr。Rodneymanagedtoturnovertwosheetsinsteadofone,tochoosethewrongsentencewheretwowerewrittentogether,andtodiscoverhisownhandwritingsuddenlyillegible。Whenhefoundhimselfpossessedofacoherentpassage,heshookitathisaudiencealmostaggressively,andthenfumbledforanother。Afteradistressingsearchafreshdiscoverywouldbemade,andproducedinthesameway,until,bymeansofrepeatedattacks,hehadstirredhisaudiencetoadegreeofanimationquiteremarkableinthesegatherings。Whethertheywerestirredbyhisenthusiasmforpoetryorbythecontortionswhichahumanbeingwasgoingthroughfortheirbenefit,itwouldbehardtosay。AtlengthMr。Rodneysatdownimpulsivelyinthemiddleofasentence,and,afterapauseofbewilderment,theaudienceexpresseditsreliefatbeingabletolaughaloudinadecidedoutburstofapplause。
Mr。Rodneyacknowledgedthiswithawildglanceroundhim,and,insteadofwaitingtoanswerquestions,hejumpedup,thrusthimselfthroughtheseatedbodiesintothecornerwhereKatharinewassitting,andexclaimed,veryaudibly:
“Well,Katharine,IhopeI'vemadeabigenoughfoolofmyselfevenforyou!Itwasterrible!terrible!terrible!“
“Hush!Youmustanswertheirquestions,“Katharinewhispered,desiring,atallcosts,tokeephimquiet。Oddlyenough,whenthespeakerwasnolongerinfrontofthem,thereseemedtobemuchthatwassuggestiveinwhathehadsaid。Atanyrate,apale-facedyoungmanwithsadeyeswasalreadyonhisfeet,deliveringanaccuratelywordedspeechwithperfectcomposure。WilliamRodneylistenedwithacuriousliftingofhisupperlip,althoughhisfacewasstillquiveringslightlywithemotion。
“Idiot!“hewhispered。“He'smisunderstoodeverywordIsaid!“
“Wellthen,answerhim,“Katharinewhisperedback。
“No,Ishan't!They'donlylaughatme。WhydidIletyoupersuademethatthesesortofpeoplecareforliterature?“hecontinued。
TherewasmuchtobesaidbothforandagainstMr。Rodney'spaper。Ithadbeencrammedwithassertionsthatsuch-and-suchpassages,takenliberallyfromEnglish,French,andItalian,arethesupremepearlsofliterature。Further,hewasfondofusingmetaphorswhich,compoundedinthestudy,wereapttosoundeithercrampedoroutofplaceashedeliveredtheminfragments。Literaturewasafreshgarlandofspringflowers,hesaid,inwhichyew-berriesandthepurplenightshademingledwiththevarioustintsoftheanemone;andsomehoworotherthisgarlandencircledmarblebrows。Hehadreadverybadlysomeverybeautifulquotations。Butthroughhismannerandhisconfusionoflanguagetherehademergedsomepassionoffeelingwhich,ashespoke,formedinthemajorityoftheaudiencealittlepictureoranideawhicheachnowwaseagertogiveexpressionto。Mostofthepeoplethereproposedtospendtheirlivesinthepracticeeitherofwritingorpainting,andmerelybylookingatthemitcouldbeseenthat,astheylistenedtoMr。Purvisfirst,andthentoMr。Greenhalgh,theywereseeingsomethingdonebythesegentlementoapossessionwhichtheythoughttobetheirown。Onepersonafteranotherrose,and,aswithanill-balancedaxe,attemptedtohewouthisconceptionofartalittlemoreclearly,andsatdownwiththefeelingthat,forsomereasonwhichhecouldnotgrasp,hisstrokeshadgoneawry。Astheysatdowntheyturnedalmostinvariablytothepersonsittingnextthem,andrectifiedandcontinuedwhattheyhadjustsaidinpublic。
Beforelong,therefore,thegroupsonthemattressesandthegroupsonthechairswereallincommunicationwitheachother,andMaryDatchet,whohadbeguntodarnstockingsagain,stoopeddownandremarkedtoRalph:
“ThatwaswhatIcallafirst-ratepaper。“
Bothoftheminstinctivelyturnedtheireyesinthedirectionofthereaderofthepaper。Hewaslyingbackagainstthewall,withhiseyesapparentlyshut,andhischinsunkuponhiscollar。Katharinewasturningoverthepagesofhismanuscriptasifshewerelookingforsomepassagethathadparticularlystruckher,andhadadifficultyinfindingit。
“Let'sgoandtellhimhowmuchwelikedit,“saidMary,thussuggestinganactionwhichRalphwasanxioustotake,thoughwithoutherhewouldhavebeentooproudtodoit,forhesuspectedthathehadmoreinterestinKatharinethanshehadinhim。
“Thatwasaveryinterestingpaper,“Marybegan,withoutanyshyness,seatingherselfontheflooroppositetoRodneyandKatharine。“Willyoulendmethemanuscripttoreadinpeace?“
Rodney,whohadopenedhiseyesontheirapproach,regardedherforamomentinsuspicioussilence。
“Doyousaythatmerelytodisguisethefactofmyridiculousfailure?“heasked。
Katharinelookedupfromherreadingwithasmile。
“Hesayshedoesn'tmindwhatwethinkofhim,“sheremarked。“Hesayswedon'tcarearapforartofanykind。“
“Iaskedhertopityme,andsheteasesme!“Rodneyexclaimed。
“Idon'tintendtopityyou,Mr。Rodney,“Maryremarked,kindly,butfirmly。“Whenapaper'safailure,nobodysaysanything,whereasnow,justlistentothem!“
Thesound,whichfilledtheroom,withitshurryofshortsyllables,itssuddenpauses,anditssuddenattacks,mightbecomparedtosomeanimalhubbub,franticandinarticulate。
“D'youthinkthat'sallaboutmypaper?“Rodneyinquired,afteramoment'sattention,withadistinctbrighteningofexpression。
“Ofcourseitis,“saidMary。“Itwasaverysuggestivepaper。“
SheturnedtoDenhamforconfirmation,andhecorroboratedher。
“It'sthetenminutesafterapaperisreadthatproveswhetherit'sbeenasuccessornot,“hesaid。“IfIwereyou,Rodney,Ishouldbeverypleasedwithmyself。“
ThiscommendationseemedtocomfortMr。Rodneycompletely,andhebegantobethinkhimofallthepassagesinhispaperwhichdeservedtobecalled“suggestive。“
“Didyouagreeatall,Denham,withwhatIsaidaboutShakespeare'slateruseofimagery?I'mafraidIdidn'taltogethermakemymeaningplain。“
Herehegatheredhimselftogether,andbymeansofaseriesoffrog-likejerks,succeededinbringinghimselfclosetoDenham。
Denhamansweredhimwiththebrevitywhichistheresultofhavinganothersentenceinthemindtobeaddressedtoanotherperson。HewishedtosaytoKatharine:“Didyouremembertogetthatpictureglazedbeforeyourauntcametodinner?“but,besideshavingtoanswerRodney,hewasnotsurethattheremark,withitsassertionofintimacy,wouldnotstrikeKatharineasimpertinent。Shewaslisteningtowhatsomeoneinanothergroupwassaying。Rodney,meanwhile,wastalkingabouttheElizabethandramatists。
Hewasacurious-lookingmansince,uponfirstsight,especiallyifhechancedtobetalkingwithanimation,heappeared,insomeway,ridiculous;but,nextmoment,inrepose,hisface,withitslargenose,thincheeksandlipsexpressingtheutmostsensibility,somehowrecalledaRomanheadboundwithlaurel,cutuponacircleofsemi-
transparentreddishstone。Ithaddignityandcharacter。ByprofessionaclerkinaGovernmentoffice,hewasoneofthosemartyredspiritstowhomliteratureisatonceasourceofdivinejoyandofalmostintolerableirritation。Notcontenttorestintheirloveofit,theymustattempttopractiseitthemselves,andtheyaregenerallyendowedwithverylittlefacilityincomposition。Theycondemnwhatevertheyproduce。Moreover,theviolenceoftheirfeelingsissuchthattheyseldommeetwithadequatesympathy,andbeingrenderedverysensitivebytheircultivatedperceptions,sufferconstantslightsbothtotheirownpersonsandtothethingtheyworship。ButRodneycouldneverresistmakingtrialofthesympathiesofanyonewhoseemedfavorablydisposed,andDenham'spraisehadstimulatedhisverysusceptiblevanity。
“YourememberthepassagejustbeforethedeathoftheDuchess?“hecontinued,edgingstillclosertoDenham,andadjustinghiselbowandkneeinanincrediblyangularcombination。Here,Katharine,whohadbeencutoffbythesemaneuversfromallcommunicationwiththeouterworld,rose,andseatedherselfuponthewindow-sill,whereshewasjoinedbyMaryDatchet。Thetwoyoungwomencouldthussurveythewholeparty。Denhamlookedafterthem,andmadeasifheweretearinghandfulsofgrassupbytherootsfromthecarpet。Butasitfellinaccuratelywithhisconceptionoflifethatallone'sdesireswereboundtobefrustrated,heconcentratedhisminduponliterature,anddetermined,philosophically,togetwhathecouldoutofthat。
Katharinewaspleasantlyexcited。Avarietyofcourseswasopentoher。Sheknewseveralpeopleslightly,andatanymomentoneofthemmightrisefromthefloorandcomeandspeaktoher;ontheotherhand,shemightselectsomebodyforherself,orshemightstrikeintoRodney'sdiscourse,towhichshewasintermittentlyattentive。ShewasconsciousofMary'sbodybesideher,but,atthesametime,theconsciousnessofbeingbothofthemwomenmadeitunnecessarytospeaktoher。ButMary,feeling,asshehadsaid,thatKatharinewasa“personality,“wishedsomuchtospeaktoherthatinafewmomentsshedid。
“They'reexactlylikeaflockofsheep,aren'tthey?“shesaid,referringtothenoisethatrosefromthescatteredbodiesbeneathher。
Katharineturnedandsmiled。
“Iwonderwhatthey'remakingsuchanoiseabout?“shesaid。
“TheElizabethans,Isuppose。“
“No,Idon'tthinkit'sgotanythingtodowiththeElizabethans。
There!Didn'tyouhearthemsay,'InsuranceBill'?“
“Iwonderwhymenalwaystalkaboutpolitics?“Maryspeculated。“I
suppose,ifwehadvotes,weshould,too。“
“Idaresayweshould。Andyouspendyourlifeingettingusvotes,don'tyou?“
“Ido,“saidMary,stoutly。“FromtentosixeverydayI'matit。“
KatharinelookedatRalphDenham,whowasnowpoundinghiswaythroughthemetaphysicsofmetaphorwithRodney,andwasremindedofhistalkthatSundayafternoon。SheconnectedhimvaguelywithMary。
“Isupposeyou'reoneofthepeoplewhothinkweshouldallhaveprofessions,“shesaid,ratherdistantly,asiffeelingherwayamongthephantomsofanunknownworld。
“Ohdearno,“saidMaryatonce。
“Well,IthinkIdo,“Katharinecontinued,withhalfasigh。“Youwillalwaysbeabletosaythatyou'vedonesomething,whereas,inacrowdlikethis,Ifeelrathermelancholy。“
“Inacrowd?Whyinacrowd?“Maryasked,deepeningthetwolinesbetweenhereyes,andhoistingherselfnearertoKatharineuponthewindow-sill。
“Don'tyouseehowmanydifferentthingsthesepeoplecareabout?AndIwanttobeatthemdown——Ionlymean,“shecorrectedherself,“thatI
wanttoassertmyself,andit'sdifficult,ifonehasn'taprofession。“
Marysmiled,thinkingthattobeatpeopledownwasaprocessthatshouldpresentnodifficultytoMissKatharineHilbery。Theykneweachothersoslightlythatthebeginningofintimacy,whichKatharineseemedtoinitiatebytalkingaboutherself,hadsomethingsolemninit,andtheyweresilent,asiftodecidewhethertoproceedornot。
Theytestedtheground。
“Ah,butIwanttotrampleupontheirprostratebodies!“Katharineannounced,amomentlater,withalaugh,asifatthetrainofthoughtwhichhadledhertothisconclusion。
“Onedoesn'tnecessarilytrampleuponpeople'sbodiesbecauseonerunsanoffice,“Maryremarked。
“No。Perhapsnot,“Katharinereplied。Theconversationlapsed,andMarysawKatharinelookingoutintotheroomrathermoodilywithclosedlips,thedesiretotalkaboutherselfortoinitiateafriendshiphaving,apparently,lefther。Marywasstruckbyhercapacityforbeingthuseasilysilent,andoccupiedwithherownthoughts。Itwasahabitthatspokeoflonelinessandamindthinkingforitself。WhenKatharineremainedsilentMarywasslightlyembarrassed。
“Yes,they'reverylikesheep,“sherepeated,foolishly。
“Andyettheyareveryclever——atleast,“Katharineadded,“IsupposetheyhaveallreadWebster。“
“Surelyyoudon'tthinkthataproofofcleverness?I'vereadWebster,I'vereadBenJonson,butIdon'tthinkmyselfclever——notexactly,atleast。“
“Ithinkyoumustbeveryclever,“Katharineobserved。
“Why?BecauseIrunanoffice?“
“Iwasn'tthinkingofthat。Iwasthinkinghowyoulivealoneinthisroom,andhaveparties。“
Maryreflectedforasecond。
“Itmeans,chiefly,apowerofbeingdisagreeabletoone'sownfamily,Ithink。Ihavethat,perhaps。Ididn'twanttoliveathome,andI
toldmyfather。Hedidn'tlikeit……ButthenIhaveasister,andyouhaven't,haveyou?“
“No,Ihaven'tanysisters。“
“Youarewritingalifeofyourgrandfather?“Marypursued。
Katharineseemedinstantlytobeconfrontedbysomefamiliarthoughtfromwhichshewishedtoescape。Shereplied,“Yes,Iamhelpingmymother,“insuchawaythatMaryfeltherselfbaffled,andputbackagainintothepositioninwhichshehadbeenatthebeginningoftheirtalk。ItseemedtoherthatKatharinepossessedacuriouspowerofdrawingnearandreceding,whichsentalternateemotionsthroughherfarmorequicklythanwasusual,andkeptherinaconditionofcuriousalertness。Desiringtoclassifyher,Marybethoughtheroftheconvenientterm“egoist。“
“She'sanegoist,“shesaidtoherself,andstoredthatworduptogivetoRalphonedaywhen,asitwouldcertainlyfallout,theywerediscussingMissHilbery。
“Heavens,whatamessthere'llbeto-morrowmorning!“Katharineexclaimed。“Ihopeyoudon'tsleepinthisroom,MissDatchet?“
Marylaughed。
“Whatareyoulaughingat?“Katharinedemanded。
“Iwon'ttellyou。“
“Letmeguess。YouwerelaughingbecauseyouthoughtI'dchangedtheconversation?“
“No。“
“Becauseyouthink——“Shepaused。
“Ifyouwanttoknow,IwaslaughingatthewayyousaidMissDatchet。“
“Mary,then。Mary,Mary,Mary。“
Sosaying,Katharinedrewbackthecurtaininorder,perhaps,toconcealthemomentaryflushofpleasurewhichiscausedbycomingperceptiblynearertoanotherperson。
“MaryDatchet,“saidMary。“It'snotsuchanimposingnameasKatharineHilbery,I'mafraid。“
Theybothlookedoutofthewindow,firstupatthehardsilvermoon,stationaryamongahurryoflittlegrey-blueclouds,andthendownupontheroofsofLondon,withalltheiruprightchimneys,andthenbelowthemattheemptymoonlitpavementofthestreet,uponwhichthejointofeachpaving-stonewasclearlymarkedout。MarythensawKatharineraisehereyesagaintothemoon,withacontemplativelookinthem,asthoughsheweresettingthatmoonagainstthemoonofothernights,heldinmemory。Someoneintheroombehindthemmadeajokeaboutstar-gazing,whichdestroyedtheirpleasureinit,andtheylookedbackintotheroomagain。
Ralphhadbeenwatchingforthismoment,andheinstantlyproducedhissentence。
“Iwonder,MissHilbery,whetheryourememberedtogetthatpictureglazed?“Hisvoiceshowedthatthequestionwasonethathadbeenprepared。
“Oh,youidiot!“Maryexclaimed,verynearlyaloud,withasensethatRalphhadsaidsomethingverystupid。So,afterthreelessonsinLatingrammar,onemightcorrectafellowstudent,whoseknowledgedidnotembracetheablativeof“mensa。“
“Picture——whatpicture?“Katharineasked。“Oh,athome,youmean——thatSundayafternoon。WasitthedayMr。Fortescuecame?Yes,IthinkI
rememberedit。“
Thethreeofthemstoodforamomentawkwardlysilent,andthenMarylefttheminordertoseethatthegreatpitcherofcoffeewasproperlyhandled,forbeneathallhereducationshepreservedtheanxietiesofonewhoownschina。
Ralphcouldthinkofnothingfurthertosay;butcouldonehavestrippedoffhismaskofflesh,onewouldhaveseenthathiswill-
powerwasrigidlysetuponasingleobject——thatMissHilberyshouldobeyhim。Hewishedhertostaythereuntil,bysomemeasuresnotyetapparenttohim,hehadconqueredherinterest。Thesestatesofmindtransmitthemselvesveryoftenwithouttheuseoflanguage,anditwasevidenttoKatharinethatthisyoungmanhadfixedhisminduponher。
Sheinstantlyrecalledherfirstimpressionsofhim,andsawherselfagainprofferingfamilyrelics。SherevertedtothestateofmindinwhichhehadleftherthatSundayafternoon。Shesupposedthathejudgedherveryseverely。Shearguednaturallythat,ifthiswerethecase,theburdenoftheconversationshouldrestwithhim。Butshesubmittedsofarastostandperfectlystill,hereyesupontheoppositewall,andherlipsverynearlyclosed,thoughthedesiretolaughstirredthemslightly。
“Youknowthenamesofthestars,Isuppose?“Denhamremarked,andfromthetoneofhisvoiceonemighthavethoughtthathegrudgedKatharinetheknowledgeheattributedtoher。
Shekepthervoicesteadywithsomedifficulty。
“IknowhowtofindthePolestarifI'mlost。“
“Idon'tsupposethatoftenhappenstoyou。“
“No。Nothinginterestingeverhappenstome,“shesaid。
“Ithinkyoumakeasystemofsayingdisagreeablethings,MissHilbery,“hebrokeout,againgoingfurtherthanhemeantto。“I
supposeit'soneofthecharacteristicsofyourclass。Theynevertalkseriouslytotheirinferiors。“
Whetheritwasthattheyweremeetingonneutralgroundto-night,orwhetherthecarelessnessofanoldgreycoatthatDenhamworegaveaneasetohisbearingthathelackedinconventionaldress,Katharinecertainlyfeltnoimpulsetoconsiderhimoutsidetheparticularsetinwhichshelived。
“Inwhatsenseareyoumyinferior?“sheasked,lookingathimgravely,asthoughhonestlysearchingforhismeaning。Thelookgavehimgreatpleasure。Forthefirsttimehefelthimselfonperfectlyequaltermswithawomanwhomhewishedtothinkwellofhim,althoughhecouldnothaveexplainedwhyheropinionofhimmatteredonewayoranother。Perhaps,afterall,heonlywantedtohavesomethingofhertotakehometothinkabout。Buthewasnotdestinedtoprofitbyhisadvantage。
“Idon'tthinkIunderstandwhatyoumean,“Katharinerepeated,andthenshewasobligedtostopandanswersomeonewhowishedtoknowwhethershewouldbuyaticketforanoperafromthem,atareduction。
Indeed,thetemperofthemeetingwasnowunfavorabletoseparateconversation;ithadbecomeratherdebauchedandhilarious,andpeoplewhoscarcelykneweachotherweremakinguseofChristiannameswithapparentcordiality,andhadreachedthatkindofgaytoleranceandgeneralfriendlinesswhichhumanbeingsinEnglandonlyattainaftersittingtogetherforthreehoursorso,andthefirstcoldblastintheairofthestreetfreezesthemintoisolationoncemore。Cloakswerebeingflungroundtheshoulders,hatsswiftlypinnedtothehead;
andDenhamhadthemortificationofseeingKatharinehelpedtoprepareherselfbytheridiculousRodney。Itwasnottheconventionofthemeetingtosaygood-bye,ornecessarilyeventonodtothepersonwithwhomonewastalking;but,nevertheless,DenhamwasdisappointedbythecompletenesswithwhichKatharinepartedfromhim,withoutanyattempttofinishhersentence。SheleftwithRodney。
CHAPTERV
DenhamhadnoconsciousintentionoffollowingKatharine,but,seeingherdepart,hetookhishatandranrathermorequicklydownthestairsthanhewouldhavedoneifKatharinehadnotbeeninfrontofhim。Heovertookafriendofhis,bynameHarrySandys,whowasgoingthesameway,andtheywalkedtogetherafewpacesbehindKatharineandRodney。
Thenightwasverystill,andonsuchnights,whenthetrafficthinsaway,thewalkerbecomesconsciousofthemooninthestreet,asifthecurtainsoftheskyhadbeendrawnapart,andtheheavenlaybare,asitdoesinthecountry。Theairwassoftlycool,sothatpeoplewhohadbeensittingtalkinginacrowdfounditpleasanttowalkalittlebeforedecidingtostopanomnibusorencounterlightagaininanundergroundrailway。Sandys,whowasabarristerwithaphilosophictendency,tookouthispipe,litit,murmured“hum“and“ha,“andwassilent。Thecoupleinfrontofthemkepttheirdistanceaccurately,andappeared,sofarasDenhamcouldjudgebythewaytheyturnedtowardseachother,tobetalkingveryconstantly。Heobservedthatwhenapedestriangoingtheoppositewayforcedthemtoparttheycametogetheragaindirectlyafterwards。WithoutintendingtowatchthemheneverquitelostsightoftheyellowscarftwistedroundKatharine'shead,orthelightovercoatwhichmadeRodneylookfashionableamongthecrowd。AttheStrandhesupposedthattheywouldseparate,butinsteadtheycrossedtheroad,andtooktheirwaydownoneofthenarrowpassageswhichleadthroughancientcourtstotheriver。AmongthecrowdofpeopleinthebigthoroughfaresRodneyseemedmerelytobelendingKatharinehisescort,butnow,whenpassengerswererareandthefootstepsofthecoupleweredistinctlyheardinthesilence,Denhamcouldnothelppicturingtohimselfsomechangeintheirconversation。Theeffectofthelightandshadow,whichseemedtoincreasetheirheight,wastomakethemmysteriousandsignificant,sothatDenhamhadnofeelingofirritationwithKatharine,butratherahalf-dreamyacquiescenceinthecourseoftheworld。Yes,shedidverywelltodreamabout——butSandyshadsuddenlybeguntotalk。Hewasasolitarymanwhohadmadehisfriendsatcollegeandalwaysaddressedthemasiftheywerestillundergraduatesarguinginhisroom,thoughmanymonthsorevenyearshadpassedinsomecasesbetweenthelastsentenceandthepresentone。Themethodwasalittlesingular,butveryrestful,foritseemedtoignorecompletelyallaccidentsofhumanlife,andtospanverydeepabysseswithafewsimplewords。
Onthisoccasionhebegan,whiletheywaitedforaminuteontheedgeoftheStrand:
“IhearthatBennetthasgivenuphistheoryoftruth。“
Denhamreturnedasuitableanswer,andheproceededtoexplainhowthisdecisionhadbeenarrivedat,andwhatchangesitinvolvedinthephilosophywhichtheybothaccepted。MeanwhileKatharineandRodneydrewfurtherahead,andDenhamkept,ifthatistherightexpressionforaninvoluntaryaction,onefilamentofhisminduponthem,whilewiththerestofhisintelligencehesoughttounderstandwhatSandyswassaying。
Astheypassedthroughthecourtsthustalking,Sandyslaidthetipofhisstickupononeofthestonesformingatime-wornarch,andstruckitmeditativelytwoorthreetimesinordertoillustratesomethingveryobscureaboutthecomplexnatureofone'sapprehensionoffacts。
Duringthepausewhichthisnecessitated,KatharineandRodneyturnedthecorneranddisappeared。ForamomentDenhamstoppedinvoluntarilyinhissentence,andcontinueditwithasenseofhavinglostsomething。
Unconsciousthattheywereobserved,KatharineandRodneyhadcomeoutontheEmbankment。Whentheyhadcrossedtheroad,Rodneyslappedhishanduponthestoneparapetabovetheriverandexclaimed:
“IpromiseIwon'tsayanotherwordaboutit,Katharine!Butdostopaminuteandlookatthemoonuponthewater。“
Katharinepaused,lookedupanddowntheriver,andsnuffedtheair。
“I'msureonecansmellthesea,withthewindblowingthisway,“shesaid。
Theystoodsilentforafewmomentswhiletherivershiftedinitsbed,andthesilverandredlightswhichwerelaiduponitweretornbythecurrentandjoinedtogetheragain。Veryfaroffuptheriverasteamerhootedwithitshollowvoiceofunspeakablemelancholy,asiffromtheheartoflonelymist-shroudedvoyagings。
“Ah!“Rodneycried,strikinghishandoncemoreuponthebalustrade,“whycan'tonesayhowbeautifulitallis?WhyamIcondemnedforever,Katharine,tofeelwhatIcan'texpress?AndthethingsIcangivethere'snouseinmygiving。Trustme,Katharine,“headdedhastily,“Iwon'tspeakofitagain。Butinthepresenceofbeauty——
lookattheiridescenceroundthemoon!——onefeels——onefeels——Perhapsifyoumarriedme——I'mhalfapoet,yousee,andIcan'tpretendnottofeelwhatIdofeel。IfIcouldwrite——ah,thatwouldbeanothermatter。Ishouldn'tbotheryoutomarrymethen,Katharine。“
Hespokethesedisconnectedsentencesratherabruptly,withhiseyesalternatelyuponthemoonanduponthestream。
“ButformeIsupposeyouwouldrecommendmarriage?“saidKatharine,withhereyesfixedonthemoon。
“CertainlyIshould。Notforyouonly,butforallwomen。Why,you'renothingatallwithoutit;you'reonlyhalfalive;usingonlyhalfyourfaculties;youmustfeelthatforyourself。Thatiswhy——“Herehestoppedhimself,andtheybegantowalkslowlyalongtheEmbankment,themoonfrontingthem。
“Withhowsadstepssheclimbsthesky,Howsilentlyandwithhowwanaface,“
Rodneyquoted。
“I'vebeentoldagreatmanyunpleasantthingsaboutmyselfto-night,“
Katharinestated,withoutattendingtohim。“Mr。Denhamseemstothinkithismissiontolectureme,thoughIhardlyknowhim。Bytheway,William,youknowhim;tellme,whatishelike?“
Williamdrewadeepsigh。
“Wemaylectureyoutillwe'reblueintheface——“
“Yes——butwhat'shelike?“
“Andwewritesonnetstoyoureyebrows,youcruelpracticalcreature。
Denham?“headded,asKatharineremainedsilent。“Agoodfellow,I
shouldthink。Hecares,naturally,fortherightsortofthings,I
expect。Butyoumustn'tmarryhim,though。Hescoldedyou,didhe——
whatdidhesay?“
“WhathappenswithMr。Denhamisthis:Hecomestotea。IdoallIcantoputhimathisease。Hemerelysitsandscowlsatme。ThenIshowhimourmanuscripts。Atthishebecomesreallyangry,andtellsmeI'venobusinesstocallmyselfamiddle-classwoman。Sowepartinahuff;andnexttimewemeet,whichwasto-night,hewalksstraightuptome,andsays,'GototheDevil!'That'sthesortofbehaviormymothercomplainsof。Iwanttoknow,whatdoesitmean?“
Shepausedand,slackeninghersteps,lookedatthelightedtraindrawingitselfsmoothlyoverHungerfordBridge。
“Itmeans,Ishouldsay,thathefindsyouchillyandunsympathetic。“
Katharinelaughedwithround,separatenotesofgenuineamusement。
“It'stimeIjumpedintoacabandhidmyselfinmyownhouse,“sheexclaimed。
“Wouldyourmotherobjecttomybeingseenwithyou?Noonecouldpossiblyrecognizeus,couldthey?“Rodneyinquired,withsomesolicitude。
Katharinelookedathim,andperceivingthathissolicitudewasgenuine,shelaughedagain,butwithanironicalnoteinherlaughter。
“Youmaylaugh,Katharine,butIcantellyouthatifanyofyourfriendssawustogetheratthistimeofnighttheywouldtalkaboutit,andIshouldfindthatverydisagreeable。Butwhydoyoulaugh?“
“Idon'tknow。Becauseyou'resuchaqueermixture,Ithink。You'rehalfpoetandhalfoldmaid。“
“IknowIalwaysseemtoyouhighlyridiculous。ButIcan'thelphavinginheritedcertaintraditionsandtryingtoputthemintopractice。“
“Nonsense,William。YoumaycomeoftheoldestfamilyinDevonshire,butthat'snoreasonwhyyoushouldmindbeingseenalonewithmeontheEmbankment。“
“I'mtenyearsolderthanyouare,Katharine,andIknowmoreoftheworldthanyoudo。“
“Verywell。Leavemeandgohome。“
Rodneylookedbackoverhisshoulderandperceivedthattheywerebeingfollowedatashortdistancebyataxicab,whichevidentlyawaitedhissummons。Katharinesawit,too,andexclaimed:
“Don'tcallthatcabforme,William。Ishallwalk。“
“Nonsense,Katharine;you'lldonothingofthekind。It'snearlytwelveo'clock,andwe'vewalkedtoofarasitis。“
KatharinelaughedandwalkedonsoquicklythatbothRodneyandthetaxicabhadtoincreasetheirpacetokeepupwithher。
“Now,William,“shesaid,“ifpeopleseemeracingalongtheEmbankmentlikethistheyWILLtalk。Youhadfarbettersaygood-night,ifyoudon'twantpeopletotalk。“
AtthisWilliambeckoned,withadespoticgesture,tothecabwithonehand,andwiththeotherhebroughtKatharinetoastandstill。
“Don'tletthemanseeusstruggling,forGod'ssake!“hemurmured。
Katharinestoodforamomentquitestill。
“There'smoreoftheoldmaidinyouthanthepoet,“sheobservedbriefly。
Williamshutthedoorsharply,gavetheaddresstothedriver,andturnedaway,liftinghishatpunctiliouslyhighinfarewelltotheinvisiblelady。
Helookedbackafterthecabtwice,suspiciously,halfexpectingthatshewouldstopitanddismount;butitboreherswiftlyon,andwassoonoutofsight。Williamfeltinthemoodforashortsoliloquyofindignation,forKatharinehadcontrivedtoexasperatehiminmorewaysthanone。
“Ofalltheunreasonable,inconsideratecreaturesI'veeverknown,she'stheworst!“heexclaimedtohimself,stridingbackalongtheEmbankment。“HeavenforbidthatIshouldevermakeafoolofmyselfwithheragain。Why,I'dsoonermarrythedaughterofmylandladythanKatharineHilbery!She'dleavemenotamoment'speace——andshe'dneverunderstandme——never,never,never!“
UtteredaloudandwithvehemencesothatthestarsofHeavenmighthear,fortherewasnohumanbeingathand,thesesentimentssoundedsatisfactorilyirrefutable。Rodneyquieteddown,andwalkedoninsilence,untilheperceivedsomeoneapproachinghim,whohadsomething,eitherinhiswalkorhisdress,whichproclaimedthathewasoneofWilliam'sacquaintancesbeforeitwaspossibletotellwhichofthemhewas。ItwasDenhamwho,havingpartedfromSandysatthebottomofhisstaircase,wasnowwalkingtotheTubeatCharingCross,deepinthethoughtswhichhistalkwithSandyshadsuggested。
HehadforgottenthemeetingatMaryDatchet'srooms,hehadforgottenRodney,andmetaphorsandElizabethandrama,andcouldhaveswornthathehadforgottenKatharineHilbery,too,althoughthatwasmoredisputable。Hismindwasscalingthehighestpinnaclesofitsalps,wheretherewasonlystarlightandtheuntroddensnow。HecaststrangeeyesuponRodney,astheyencounteredeachotherbeneathalamp-post。
“Ha!“Rodneyexclaimed。
Ifhehadbeeninfullpossessionofhismind,Denhamwouldprobablyhavepassedonwithasalutation。Buttheshockoftheinterruptionmadehimstandstill,andbeforeheknewwhathewasdoing,hehadturnedandwaswalkingwithRodneyinobediencetoRodney'sinvitationtocometohisroomsandhavesomethingtodrink。DenhamhadnowishtodrinkwithRodney,buthefollowedhimpassivelyenough。Rodneywasgratifiedbythisobedience。Hefeltinclinedtobecommunicativewiththissilentman,whopossessedsoobviouslyallthegoodmasculinequalitiesinwhichKatharinenowseemedlamentablydeficient。
“Youdowell,Denham,“hebeganimpulsively,“tohavenothingtodowithyoungwomen。Iofferyoumyexperience——ifonetruststhemoneinvariablyhascausetorepent。NotthatIhaveanyreasonatthismoment,“headdedhastily,“tocomplainofthem。It'sasubjectthatcropsupnowandagainfornoparticularreason。MissDatchet,Idaresay,isoneoftheexceptions。DoyoulikeMissDatchet?“
TheseremarksindicatedclearlyenoughthatRodney'snerveswereinastateofirritation,andDenhamspeedilywoketothesituationoftheworldasithadbeenonehourago。HehadlastseenRodneywalkingwithKatharine。Hecouldnothelpregrettingtheeagernesswithwhichhismindreturnedtotheseinterests,andfrettedhimwiththeoldtrivialanxieties。Hesankinhisownesteem。ReasonbadehimbreakfromRodney,whoclearlytendedtobecomeconfidential,beforehehadutterlylosttouchwiththeproblemsofhighphilosophy。Helookedalongtheroad,andmarkedalamp-postatadistanceofsomehundredyards,anddecidedthathewouldpartfromRodneywhentheyreachedthispoint。
“Yes,IlikeMary;Idon'tseehowonecouldhelplikingher,“heremarkedcautiously,withhiseyeonthelamp-post。
“Ah,Denham,you'resodifferentfromme。Younevergiveyourselfaway。IwatchedyouthiseveningwithKatharineHilbery。MyinstinctistotrustthepersonI'mtalkingto。That'swhyI'malwaysbeingtakenin,Isuppose。“
DenhamseemedtobeponderingthisstatementofRodney's,but,asamatteroffact,hewashardlyconsciousofRodneyandhisrevelations,andwasonlyconcernedtomakehimmentionKatharineagainbeforetheyreachedthelamp-post。
“Who'stakenyouinnow?“heasked。“KatharineHilbery?“
Rodneystoppedandoncemorebeganbeatingakindofrhythm,asifheweremarkingaphraseinasymphony,uponthesmoothstonebalustradeoftheEmbankment。
“KatharineHilbery,“herepeated,withacuriouslittlechuckle。“No,Denham,Ihavenoillusionsaboutthatyoungwoman。IthinkImadethatplaintoherto-night。Butdon'trunawaywithafalseimpression,“hecontinuedeagerly,turningandlinkinghisarmthroughDenham's,asthoughtopreventhimfromescaping;and,thuscompelled,Denhampassedthemonitorylamp-post,towhich,inpassing,hebreathedanexcuse,forhowcouldhebreakawaywhenRodney'sarmwasactuallylinkedinhis?“YoumustnotthinkthatIhaveanybitternessagainsther——farfromit。It'snotaltogetherherfault,poorgirl。
Shelives,youknow,oneofthoseodious,self-centeredlives——atleast,Ithinkthemodiousforawoman——feedingherwitsuponeverything,havingcontrolofeverything,gettingfartoomuchherownwayathome——spoilt,inasense,feelingthateveryoneisatherfeet,andsonotrealizinghowshehurts——thatis,howrudelyshebehavestopeoplewhohaven'tallheradvantages。Still,todoherjustice,she'snofool,“headded,asiftowarnDenhamnottotakeanyliberties。“Shehastaste。Shehassense。Shecanunderstandyouwhenyoutalktoher。Butshe'sawoman,andthere'sanendofit,“headded,withanotherlittlechuckle,anddroppedDenham'sarm。
“Anddidyoutellherallthisto-night?“Denhamasked。
“Ohdearme,no。IshouldneverthinkoftellingKatharinethetruthaboutherself。Thatwouldn'tdoatall。OnehastobeinanattitudeofadorationinordertogetonwithKatharine。
“NowI'velearntthatshe'srefusedtomarryhimwhydon'tIgohome?“
Denhamthoughttohimself。ButhewentonwalkingbesideRodney,andforatimetheydidnotspeak,thoughRodneyhummedsnatchesofatuneoutofanoperabyMozart。Afeelingofcontemptandlikingcombineverynaturallyinthemindofonetowhomanotherhasjustspokenunpremeditatedly,revealingrathermoreofhisprivatefeelingsthanheintendedtoreveal。DenhambegantowonderwhatsortofpersonRodneywas,andatthesametimeRodneybegantothinkaboutDenham。
“You'reaslavelikeme,Isuppose?“heasked。
“Asolicitor,yes。“
“Isometimeswonderwhywedon'tchuckit。Whydon'tyouemigrate,Denham?Ishouldhavethoughtthatwouldsuityou。“
“I'veafamily。“
“I'moftenonthepointofgoingmyself。AndthenIknowIcouldn'tlivewithoutthis“——andhewavedhishandtowardstheCityofLondon,whichwore,atthismoment,theappearanceofatowncutoutofgray-
bluecardboard,andpastedflatagainstthesky,whichwasofadeeperblue。
“ThereareoneortwopeopleI'mfondof,andthere'salittlegoodmusic,andafewpictures,nowandthen——justenoughtokeeponedanglingabouthere。Ah,butIcouldn'tlivewithsavages!Areyoufondofbooks?Music?Pictures?D'youcareatallforfirsteditions?
I'vegotafewnicethingsuphere,thingsIpickupcheap,forI
can'taffordtogivewhattheyask。“
Theyhadreachedasmallcourtofhigheighteenth-centuryhouses,inoneofwhichRodneyhadhisrooms。Theyclimbedaverysteepstaircase,throughwhoseuncurtainedwindowsthemoonlightfell,illuminatingthebanisterswiththeirtwistedpillars,andthepilesofplatessetonthewindow-sills,andjarshalf-fullofmilk。
Rodney'sroomsweresmall,butthesitting-roomwindowlookedoutintoacourtyard,withitsflaggedpavement,anditssingletree,andacrosstotheflatred-brickfrontsoftheoppositehouses,whichwouldnothavesurprisedDr。Johnson,ifhehadcomeoutofhisgraveforaturninthemoonlight。Rodneylithislamp,pulledhiscurtains,offeredDenhamachair,and,flingingthemanuscriptofhispaperontheElizabethanuseofMetaphorontothetable,exclaimed:
“Ohdearme,whatawasteoftime!Butit'sovernow,andsowemaythinknomoreaboutit。“
Hethenbusiedhimselfverydexterouslyinlightingafire,producingglasses,whisky,acake,andcupsandsaucers。Heputonafadedcrimsondressing-gown,andapairofredslippers,andadvancedtoDenhamwithatumblerinonehandandawell-burnishedbookintheother。
“TheBaskervilleCongreve,“saidRodney,offeringittohisguest。“I
couldn'treadhiminacheapedition。“
Whenhewasseenthusamonghisbooksandhisvaluables,amiablyanxioustomakehisvisitorcomfortable,andmovingaboutwithsomethingofthedexterityandgraceofaPersiancat,Denhamrelaxedhiscriticalattitude,andfeltmoreathomewithRodneythanhewouldhavedonewithmanymenbetterknowntohim。Rodney'sroomwastheroomofapersonwhocherishesagreatmanypersonaltastes,guardingthemfromtheroughblastsofthepublicwithscrupulousattention。
Hispapersandhisbooksroseinjaggedmoundsontableandfloor,roundwhichheskirtedwithnervouscarelesthisdressing-gownmightdisarrangethemeversoslightly。Onachairstoodastackofphotographsofstatuesandpictures,whichitwashishabittoexhibit,onebyone,forthespaceofadayortwo。Thebooksonhisshelveswereasorderlyasregimentsofsoldiers,andthebacksofthemshonelikesomanybronzebeetle-wings;though,ifyoutookonefromitsplaceyousawashabbiervolumebehindit,sincespacewaslimited。AnovalVenetianmirrorstoodabovethefireplace,andreflectedduskilyinitsspotteddepthsthefaintyellowandcrimsonofajarfuloftulipswhichstoodamongthelettersandpipesandcigarettesuponthemantelpiece。Asmallpianooccupiedacorneroftheroom,withthescoreof“DonGiovanni“openuponthebracket。
“Well,Rodney,“saidDenham,ashefilledhispipeandlookedabouthim,“thisisallveryniceandcomfortable。“
Rodneyturnedhisheadhalfroundandsmiled,withtheprideofaproprietor,andthenpreventedhimselffromsmiling。
“Tolerable,“hemuttered。
“ButIdaresayit'sjustaswellthatyouhavetoearnyourownliving。“
“IfyoumeanthatIshouldn'tdoanythinggoodwithleisureifIhadit,Idaresayyou'reright。ButIshouldbetentimesashappywithmywholedaytospendasIliked。“
“Idoubtthat,“Denhamreplied。
Theysatsilent,andthesmokefromtheirpipesjoinedamicablyinabluevaporabovetheirheads。
“IcouldspendthreehourseverydayreadingShakespeare,“Rodneyremarked。“Andthere'smusicandpictures,letalonethesocietyofthepeopleonelikes。“
“You'dbeboredtodeathinayear'stime。“
“Oh,IgrantyouIshouldbeboredifIdidnothing。ButIshouldwriteplays。“
“H'm!“
“Ishouldwriteplays,“herepeated。“I'vewrittenthree-quartersofonealready,andI'monlywaitingforaholidaytofinishit。Andit'snotbad——no,someofit'sreallyrathernice。“
ThequestionaroseinDenham'smindwhetherheshouldasktoseethisplay,as,nodoubt,hewasexpectedtodo。HelookedratherstealthilyatRodney,whowastappingthecoalnervouslywithapoker,andquiveringalmostphysically,soDenhamthought,withdesiretotalkaboutthisplayofhis,andvanityunrequitedandurgent。HeseemedverymuchatDenham'smercy,andDenhamcouldnothelplikinghim,partlyonthataccount。
“Well,……willyouletmeseetheplay?“Denhamasked,andRodneylookedimmediatelyappeased,but,nevertheless,hesatsilentforamoment,holdingthepokerperfectlyuprightintheair,regardingitwithhisratherprominenteyes,andopeninghislipsandshuttingthemagain。
“Doyoureallycareforthiskindofthing?“heaskedatlength,inadifferenttoneofvoicefromthatinwhichhehadbeenspeaking。And,withoutwaitingforananswer,hewenton,ratherquerulously:“Veryfewpeoplecareforpoetry。Idaresayitboresyou。“
“Perhaps,“Denhamremarked。
“Well,I'lllendityou,“Rodneyannounced,puttingdownthepoker。
Ashemovedtofetchtheplay,Denhamstretchedahandtothebookcasebesidehim,andtookdownthefirstvolumewhichhisfingerstouched。
IthappenedtobeasmallandverylovelyeditionofSirThomasBrowne,containingthe“UrnBurial,“the“Hydriotaphia,“andthe“GardenofCyrus,“and,openingitatapassagewhichheknewverynearlybyheart,Denhambegantoreadand,forsometime,continuedtoread。
Rodneyresumedhisseat,withhismanuscriptonhisknee,andfromtimetotimeheglancedatDenham,andthenjoinedhisfinger-tipsandcrossedhisthinlegsoverthefender,asifheexperiencedagooddealofpleasure。AtlengthDenhamshutthebook,andstood,withhisbacktothefireplace,occasionallymakinganinarticulatehummingsoundwhichseemedtorefertoSirThomasBrowne。Heputhishatonhishead,andstoodoverRodney,whostilllaystretchedbackinhischair,withhistoeswithinthefender。
“Ishalllookinagainsometime,“Denhamremarked,uponwhichRodneyhelduphishand,containinghismanuscript,withoutsayinganythingexcept——“Ifyoulike。“
Denhamtookthemanuscriptandwent。Twodayslaterhewasmuchsurprisedtofindathinparcelonhisbreakfastplate,which,onbeingopened,revealedtheverycopyofSirThomasBrownewhichhehadstudiedsointentlyinRodney'srooms。Fromsheerlazinesshereturnednothanks,buthethoughtofRodneyfromtimetotimewithinterest,disconnectinghimfromKatharine,andmeanttogoroundoneeveningandsmokeapipewithhim。ItpleasedRodneythustogiveawaywhateverhisfriendsgenuinelyadmired。Hislibrarywasconstantlybeingdiminished。
CHAPTERVI
Ofallthehoursofanordinaryworkingweek-day,whicharethepleasantesttolookforwardtoandtolookbackupon?Ifasingleinstanceisofuseinframingatheory,itmaybesaidthattheminutesbetweennine-twenty-fiveandnine-thirtyinthemorninghadasingularcharmforMaryDatchet。Shespenttheminaveryenviableframeofmind;hercontentmentwasalmostunalloyed。Highintheairasherflatwas,somebeamsfromthemorningsunreachedhereveninNovember,strikingstraightatcurtain,chair,andcarpet,andpaintingtherethreebright,truespacesofgreen,blue,andpurple,uponwhichtheeyerestedwithapleasurewhichgavephysicalwarmthtothebody。
TherewerefewmorningswhenMarydidnotlookup,asshebenttolaceherboots,andasshefollowedtheyellowrodfromcurtaintobreakfast-tablesheusuallybreathedsomesighofthankfulnessthatherlifeprovidedherwithsuchmomentsofpureenjoyment。Shewasrobbingnooneofanything,andyet,togetsomuchpleasurefromsimplethings,suchaseatingone'sbreakfastaloneinaroomwhichhadnicecolorsinit,cleanfromtheskirtingoftheboardstothecornersoftheceiling,seemedtosuithersothoroughlythatsheusedatfirsttohuntaboutforsomeonetoapologizeto,orforsomeflawinthesituation。ShehadnowbeensixmonthsinLondon,andshecouldfindnoflaw,butthat,assheinvariablyconcludedbythetimeherbootswerelaced,wassolelyandentirelyduetothefactthatshehadherwork。Everyday,asshestoodwithherdispatch-boxinherhandatthedoorofherflat,andgaveonelookbackintotheroomtoseethateverythingwasstraightbeforesheleft,shesaidtoherselfthatshewasverygladthatshewasgoingtoleaveitall,thattohavesattherealldaylong,intheenjoymentofleisure,wouldhavebeenintolerable。
Outinthestreetshelikedtothinkherselfoneoftheworkerswho,atthishour,taketheirwayinrapidsinglefilealongallthebroadpavementsofthecity,withtheirheadsslightlylowered,asifalltheireffortweretofolloweachotherascloselyasmightbe;sothatMaryusedtofiguretoherselfastraightrabbit-runwornbytheirunswervingfeetuponthepavement。Butshelikedtopretendthatshewasindistinguishablefromtherest,andthatwhenawetdaydrovehertotheUndergroundoromnibus,shegaveandtookhershareofcrowdandwetwithclerksandtypistsandcommercialmen,andsharedwiththemtheseriousbusinessofwinding-uptheworldtotickforanotherfour-and-twentyhours。
Thusthinking,ontheparticularmorninginquestion,shemadeherawayacrossLincoln'sInnFieldsandupKingsway,andsothroughSouthamptonRowuntilshereachedherofficeinRussellSquare。Nowandthenshewouldpauseandlookintothewindowofsomebooksellerorflowershop,where,atthisearlyhour,thegoodswerebeingarranged,andemptygapsbehindtheplateglassrevealedastateofundress。Maryfeltkindlydisposedtowardstheshopkeepers,andhopedthattheywouldtrickthemiddaypublicintopurchasing,foratthishourofthemorningsherangedherselfentirelyonthesideoftheshopkeepersandbankclerks,andregardedallwhosleptlateandhadmoneytospendasherenemyandnaturalprey。AnddirectlyshehadcrossedtheroadatHolborn,herthoughtsallcamenaturallyandregularlytoroostuponherwork,andsheforgotthatshewas,properlyspeaking,anamateurworker,whoseserviceswereunpaid,andcouldhardlybesaidtowindtheworldupforitsdailytask,sincetheworld,sofar,hadshownverylittledesiretotaketheboonswhichMary'ssocietyforwoman'ssuffragehadofferedit。
ShewasthinkingallthewayupSouthamptonRowofnotepaperandfoolscap,andhowaneconomyintheuseofpapermightbeeffectedwithout,ofcourse,hurtingMrs。Seal'sfeelings,forshewascertainthatthegreatorganizersalwayspounce,tobeginwith,upontrifleslikethese,andbuilduptheirtriumphantreformsuponabasisofabsolutesolidity;and,withoutacknowledgingitforamoment,MaryDatchetwasdeterminedtobeagreatorganizer,andhadalreadydoomedhersocietytoreconstructionofthemostradicalkind。Onceortwicelately,itistrue,shehadstarted,broadawake,beforeturningintoRussellSquare,anddenouncedherselfrathersharplyforbeingalreadyinagroove,capable,thatis,ofthinkingthesamethoughtseverymorningatthesamehour,sothatthechestnut-coloredbrickoftheRussellSquarehouseshadsomecuriousconnectionwithherthoughtsaboutofficeeconomy,andservedalsoasasignthatsheshouldgetintotrimformeetingMr。Clacton,orMrs。Seal,orwhoevermightbebeforehandwithherattheoffice。Havingnoreligiousbelief,shewasthemoreconscientiousaboutherlife,examiningherpositionfromtimetotimeveryseriously,andnothingannoyedhermorethantofindoneofthesebadhabitsnibblingawayunheededattheprecioussubstance。Whatwasthegood,afterall,ofbeingawomanifonedidn'tkeepfresh,andcramone'slifewithallsortsofviewsandexperiments?Thusshealwaysgaveherselfalittleshake,assheturnedthecorner,and,asoftenasnot,reachedherowndoorwhistlingasnatchofaSomersetshireballad。
ThesuffrageofficewasatthetopofoneofthelargeRussellSquarehouses,whichhadoncebeenlivedinbyagreatcitymerchantandhisfamily,andwasnowletoutinslicestoanumberofsocietieswhichdisplayedassortedinitialsupondoorsofgroundglass,andkept,eachofthem,atypewriterwhichclickedbusilyalldaylong。Theoldhouse,withitsgreatstonestaircase,echoedhollowlytothesoundoftypewritersandoferrand-boysfromtentosix。Thenoiseofdifferenttypewritersalreadyatwork,disseminatingtheirviewsupontheprotectionofnativeraces,orthevalueofcerealsasfoodstuffs,quickenedMary'ssteps,andshealwaysranupthelastflightofstepswhichledtoherownlanding,atwhateverhourshecame,soastogethertypewritertotakeitsplaceincompetitionwiththerest。
Shesatherselfdowntoherletters,andverysoonallthesespeculationswereforgotten,andthetwolinesdrewthemselvesbetweenhereyebrows,asthecontentsoftheletters,theofficefurniture,andthesoundsofactivityinthenextroomgraduallyassertedtheirswayuponher。Byeleveno'clocktheatmosphereofconcentrationwasrunningsostronglyinonedirectionthatanythoughtofadifferentordercouldhardlyhavesurviveditsbirthmorethanamomentorso。
Thetaskwhichlaybeforeherwastoorganizeaseriesofentertainments,theprofitsofwhichweretobenefitthesociety,whichdroopedforwantoffunds。Itwasherfirstattemptatorganizationonalargescale,andshemeanttoachievesomethingremarkable。Shemeanttousethecumbrousmachinetopickoutthis,that,andtheotherinterestingpersonfromthemuddleoftheworld,andtosetthemforaweekinapatternwhichmustcatchtheeyesofCabinetMinisters,andtheeyesoncecaught,theoldargumentsweretobedeliveredwithunexampledoriginality。Suchwastheschemeasawhole;andincontemplationofitshewouldbecomequiteflushedandexcited,andhavetoremindherselfofallthedetailsthatintervenedbetweenherandsuccess。
Thedoorwouldopen,andMr。Clactonwouldcomeintosearchforacertainleafletburiedbeneathapyramidofleaflets。Hewasathin,sandy-hairedmanofaboutthirty-five,spokewithaCockneyaccent,andhadabouthimafrugallook,asifnaturehadnotdealtgenerouslywithhiminanyway,which,naturally,preventedhimfromdealinggenerouslywithotherpeople。Whenhehadfoundhisleaflet,andofferedafewjocularhintsuponkeepingpapersinorder,thetypewritingwouldstopabruptly,andMrs。Sealwouldburstintotheroomwithaletterwhichneededexplanationinherhand。Thiswasamoreseriousinterruptionthantheother,becausesheneverknewexactlywhatshewanted,andhalfadozenrequestswouldboltfromher,nooneofwhichwasclearlystated。Dressedinplum-coloredvelveteen,withshort,grayhair,andafacethatseemedpermanentlyflushedwithphilanthropicenthusiasm,shewasalwaysinahurry,andalwaysinsomedisorder。Sheworetwocrucifixes,whichgotthemselvesentangledinaheavygoldchainuponherbreast,andseemedtoMaryexpressiveofhermentalambiguity。OnlyhervastenthusiasmandherworshipofMissMarkham,oneofthepioneersofthesociety,keptherinherplace,forwhichshehadnosoundqualification。
Sothemorningworeon,andthepileoflettersgrew,andMaryfelt,atlast,thatshewasthecenterganglionofaveryfinenetworkofnerveswhichfelloverEngland,andoneofthesedays,whenshetouchedtheheartofthesystem,wouldbeginfeelingandrushingtogetherandemittingtheirsplendidblazeofrevolutionaryfireworks——forsomesuchmetaphorrepresentswhatshefeltaboutherwork,whenherbrainhadbeenheatedbythreehoursofapplication。
Shortlybeforeoneo'clockMr。ClactonandMrs。Sealdesistedfromtheirlabors,andtheoldjokeaboutluncheon,whichcameoutregularlyatthishour,wasrepeatedwithscarcelyanyvariationofwords。Mr。Clactonpatronizedavegetarianrestaurant;Mrs。Sealbroughtsandwiches,whichsheatebeneaththeplane-treesinRussellSquare;whileMarygenerallywenttoagaudyestablishment,upholsteredinredplush,nearby,where,muchtothevegetarian'sdisapproval,youcouldbuysteak,twoinchesthick,oraroastsectionoffowl,swimminginapewterdish。
第2章