首页 >出版文学> GREAT EXPECTATIONS>第12章
  WhenIhadgotridofhim,whichIthoughtitwelltodowithoutprolongingexplanations,mymindwasmuchtroubledbythesetwocircumstancestakentogether。Whereastheywereeasyofinnocentsolutionapart-as,forinstance,somediner-outordiner-at-home,whohadnotgonenearthiswatchman'sgate,mighthavestrayedtomystaircaseanddroppedasleepthere-andmynamelessvisitormighthavebroughtsomeonewithhimtoshowhimtheway-still,joined,theyhadanuglylooktooneaspronetodistrustandfearasthechangesofafewhourshadmademe。
  Ilightedmyfire,whichburntwitharawpaleflareatthattimeofthemorning,andfellintoadozebeforeit。Iseemedtohavebeendozingawholenightwhentheclocksstrucksix。Astherewasfullanhourandahalfbetweenmeanddaylight,Idozedagain;now,wakingupuneasily,withprolixconversationsaboutnothing,inmyears;now,makingthunderofthewindinthechimney;atlength,fallingoffintoaprofoundsleepfromwhichthedaylightwokemewithastart。
  AllthistimeIhadneverbeenabletoconsidermyownsituation,norcouldIdosoyet。Ihadnotthepowertoattendtoit。Iwasgreatlydejectedanddistressed,butinanincoherentwholesalesortofway。Astoforminganyplanforthefuture,Icouldassoonhaveformedanelephant。WhenIopenedtheshuttersandlookedoutatthewetwildmorning,allofaleadenhue;whenIwalkedfromroomtoroom;whenIsatdownagainshivering,beforethefire,waitingformylaundresstoappear;IthoughthowmiserableIwas,buthardlyknewwhy,orhowlongIhadbeenso,oronwhatdayoftheweekImadethereflection,orevenwhoIwasthatmadeit。
  Atlast,theoldwomanandtheniececamein-thelatterwithaheadnoteasilydistinguishablefromherdustybroom-andtestifiedsurpriseatsightofmeandthefire。TowhomIimpartedhowmyunclehadcomeinthenightandwasthenasleep,andhowthebreakfastpreparationsweretobemodifiedaccordingly。Then,Iwashedanddressedwhiletheyknockedthefurnitureaboutandmadeadust;andso,inasortofdreamorsleep-waking,Ifoundmyselfsittingbythefireagain,waitingfor-Him-tocometobreakfast。
  By-and-by,hisdooropenedandhecameout。Icouldnotbringmyselftobearthesightofhim,andIthoughthehadaworselookbydaylight。
  `Idonotevenknow,'saidI,speakinglowashetookhisseatatthetable,`bywhatnametocallyou。Ihavegivenoutthatyouaremyuncle。'
  `That'sit,dearboy!Callmeuncle。'
  `Youassumedsomename,Isuppose,onboardship?'
  `Yes,dearboy。ItookthenameofProvis。'
  `Doyoumeantokeepthatname?'
  `Why,yes,dearboy,it'sasgoodasanother-unlessyou'dlikeanother。'
  `Whatisyourrealname?'Iaskedhiminawhisper。
  `Magwitch,'heanswered,inthesametone;`chrisen'dAbel。'
  `Whatwereyoubroughtuptobe?'
  `Awarmint,dearboy。'
  Heansweredquiteseriously,andusedthewordasifitdenotedsomeprofession。
  `WhenyoucameintotheTemplelastnight——'saidI,pausingtowonderwhetherthatcouldreallyhavebeenlastnight,whichseemedsolongago。
  `Yes,dearboy?'
  `Whenyoucameinatthegateandaskedthewatchmanthewayhere,hadyouanyonewithyou?'
  `Withme?No,dearboy。'
  `Buttherewassomeonethere?'
  `Ididn'ttakeparticularnotice,'hesaid,dubiously,`notknowingthewaysoftheplace。ButIthinktherewasaperson,too,comeinalongerme。'
  `AreyouknowninLondon?'
  `Ihopenot!'saidhe,givinghisneckajerkwithhisforefingerthatmademeturnhotandsick。
  `WereyouknowninLondon,once?'
  `Notoverandabove,dearboy。Iwasintheprovincesmostly。'
  `Wereyou-tried-inLondon?'
  `Whichtime?'saidhe,withasharplook。
  `Thelasttime。'
  Henodded。`FirstknowedMrJaggersthatway。Jaggerswasforme。'
  Itwasonmylipstoaskhimwhathewastriedfor,buthetookupaknife,gaveitaflourish,andwiththewords,`AndwhatIdoneisworkedoutandpaidfor!'felltoathisbreakfast。
  Heateinaravenouswaythatwasverydisagreeable,andallhisactionswereuncouth,noisy,andgreedy。SomeofhisteethhadfailedhimsinceIsawhimeatonthemarshes,andasheturnedhisfoodinhismouth,andturnedhisheadsidewaystobringhisstrongestfangstobearupon,helookedterriblylikeahungryolddog。IfIhadbegunwithanyappetite,hewouldhavetakenitaway,andIshouldhavesatmuchasIdid-repelledfromhimbyaninsurmountableaversion,andgloomilylookingatthecloth。
  `I'maheavygrubber,dearboy,'hesaid,asapolitekindofapologywhenhemadeanendofhismeal,`butIalwayswas。Ifithadbeeninmyconstitutiontobealightergrubber,Imightha'gotintolightertrouble。
  Similarly,Imusthavemysmoke。WhenIwasfirsthiredoutasshepherdt'othersidetheworld,it'smybeliefIshouldha'turnedintoamolloncolly-madsheepmyself,ifIhadn'tahadmysmoke。'
  Ashesaidso,hegotupfromtable,andputtinghishandintothebreastofthepea-coathewore,broughtoutashortblackpipe,andahandfulofloosetobaccoofthekindthatiscalledNegro-head。Havingfilledhispipe,heputthesurplustobaccobackagain,asifhispocketwereadrawer。
  Then,hetookalivecoalfromthefirewiththetongs,andlightedhispipeatit,andthenturnedroundonthehearth-rugwithhisbacktothefire,andwentthroughhisfavouriteactionofholdingoutbothhishandsformine。
  `Andthis,'saidhe,dandlingmyhandsupanddowninhis,ashepuffedathispipe;`andthisisthegentlemanwhatImade!TherealgenuineOne!
  Itdoesmegoodfurtolookatyou,Pip。AllIstip'late,is,tostandbyandlookatyou,dearboy!'
  IreleasedmyhandsassoonasIcould,andfoundthatIwasbeginningslowlytosettledowntothecontemplationofmycondition。WhatIwaschainedto,andhowheavily,becameintelligibletome,asIheardhishoarsevoice,andsatlookingupathisfurrowedbaldheadwithitsirongreyhairatthesides。
  `Imustn'tseemygentlemanafootingitinthemireofthestreets;
  theremustn'tbenomudonhisboots。Mygentlemanmusthavehorses,Pip!Horsestoride,andhorsestodrive,andhorsesforhisservanttorideanddriveaswell。Shallcolonistshavetheirhorsesandblood'uns,ifyouplease,goodLord!andnotmyLondongentleman?No,no。We'llshow'emanotherpairofshoesthanthat,Pip;won'tus?'
  Hetookoutofhispocketagreatthickpocket-book,burstingwithpapers,andtosseditonthetable。
  `There'ssomethingworthspendinginthattherebook,dearboy。It'syourn。AllI'vegotain'tmine;it'syourn。Don'tyoubeafeerdonit。
  There'smorewherethatcomefrom。I'vecometotheoldcountryfurtoseemygentlemanspendhismoneylikeagentleman。That'llbemypleasure。Mypleasure'ullbefurtoseehimdoit。Andblastyouall!'hewoundup,lookingroundtheroomandsnappinghisfingersoncewithaloudsnap,`blastyoueveryone,fromthejudgeinhiswig,tothecolonistastirringupthedust,I'llshowabettergentlemanthanthewholekitonyouputtogether!'
  `Stop!'saidI,almostinafrenzyoffearanddislike,`Iwanttospeaktoyou。Iwanttoknowwhatistobedone。Iwanttoknowhowyouaretobekeptoutofdanger,howlongyouaregoingtostay,whatprojectsyouhave。'
  `Look'eehere,Pip,'saidhe,layinghishandonmyarminasuddenlyalteredandsubduedmanner;`firstofall,look'eehere。Iforgotmyselfhalfaminuteago。WhatIsaidwaslow;that'swhatitwas;low。Look'eehere,Pip。Lookoverit。Iain'tagoingtobelow。'
  `First,'Iresumed,half-groaning,`whatprecautionscanbetakenagainstyourbeingrecognizedandseized?'
  `No,dearboy,'hesaid,inthesametoneasbefore,`thatdon'tgofirst。Lownessgoesfirst。Iain'ttooksomanyyeartomakeagentleman,notwithoutknowingwhat'sduetohim。Look'eehere,Pip。Iwaslow;that'swhatIwas;low。Lookoverit,dearboy。'
  Somesenseofthegrimly-ludicrousmovedmetoafretfullaugh,asI
  replied,`Ihavelookedoverit。InHeaven'sname,don'tharpuponit!'
  `Yes,butlook'eehere,'hepersisted。`Dearboy,Iain'tcomesofur,notfurtobelow。Now,goon,dearboy。Youwasasaying——'
  `Howareyoutobeguardedfromthedangeryouhaveincurred?'
  `Well,dearboy,thedangerain'tsogreat。WithoutIwasinformedagen,thedangerain'tsomuchtosignify。There'sJaggers,andthere'sWemmick,andthere'syou。Whoelseistheretoinform?'
  `Istherenochancepersonwhomightidentifyyouinthestreet?'saidI。
  `Well,'hereturned,`thereain'tmany。NoryetIdon'tintendtoadvertisemyselfinthenewspapersbythenameofA。M。comebackfromBotanyBay;
  andyearshaverolledaway,andwho'stogainbyit?Still,look'eehere,Pip。Ifthedangerhadbeenfiftytimesasgreat,Ishouldha'cometoseeyou,mindyou,justthesame。'
  `Andhowlongdoyouremain?'
  `Howlong?'saidhe,takinghisblackpipefromhismouth,anddroppinghisjawashestaredatme。`I'mnotagoingback。I'vecomeforgood。'
  `Whereareyoutolive?'saidI。`Whatistobedonewithyou?Wherewillyoubesafe?'
  `Dearboy,'hereturned,`there'sdisguisingwigscanbeboughtformoney,andthere'shairpowder,andspectacles,andblackclothes-shortsandwhatnot。Othershasdoneitsafeafore,andwhatothershasdoneafore,otherscandoagen。Astothewhereandhowofliving,dearboy,givemeyourownopinionsonit。'
  `Youtakeitsmoothlynow,'saidI,`butyouwereveryseriouslastnight,whenyousworeitwasDeath。'
  `AndsoIswearitisDeath,'saidhe,puttinghispipebackinhismouth,`andDeathbytherope,intheopenstreetnotfurfromthis,andit'sseriousthatyoushouldfullyunderstandittobeso。Whatthen,whenthat'soncedone?HereIam。Togobacknow,'udbeasbadastostandground-worse。Besides,Pip,I'mhere,becauseI'vemeantitbyyou,yearsandyears。AstowhatIdare,I'maoldbirdnow,ashasdaredallmanneroftrapssincefirsthewasfledged,andI'mnotafeerdtoperchuponascarecrow。Ifthere'sDeathhidinsideofit,thereis,andlethimcomeout,andI'llfacehim,andthenI'llbelieveinhimandnotafore。Andnowletmehavealookatmygentlemanagen。'
  Oncemore,hetookmebybothhandsandsurveyedmewithanairofadmiringproprietorship:smokingwithgreatcomplacencyallthewhile。
  ItappearedtomethatIcoulddonobetterthansecurehimsomequietlodginghardby,ofwhichhemighttakepossessionwhenHerbertreturned:
  whomIexpectedintwoorthreedays。ThatthesecretmustbeconfidedtoHerbertasamatterofunavoidablenecessity,evenifIcouldhaveputtheimmensereliefIshouldderivefromsharingitwithhimoutofthequestion,wasplaintome。ButitwasbynomeanssoplaintoMrProvisIresolvedtocallhimbythatname,whoreservedhisconsenttoHerbert'sparticipationuntilheshouldhaveseenhimandformedafavourablejudgmentofhisphysiognomy。`Andeventhen,dearboy,'saidhe,pullingagreasylittleclaspedblackTestamentoutofhispocket,`we'llhavehimonhisoath。'
  Tostatethatmyterriblepatroncarriedthislittleblackbookabouttheworldsolelytoswearpeopleonincasesofemergency,wouldbetostatewhatIneverquiteestablished-butthisIcansay,thatIneverknewhimputittoanyotheruse。Thebookitselfhadtheappearanceofhavingbeenstolenfromsomecourtofjustice,andperhapshisknowledgeofitsantecedents,combinedwithhisownexperienceinthatwise,gavehimarelianceonitspowersasasortoflegalspellorcharm。Onthisfirstoccasionofhisproducingit,Irecalledhowhehadmademeswearfidelityinthechurchyardlongago,andhowhehaddescribedhimselflastnightasalwaysswearingtohisresolutionsinhissolitude。
  Ashewasatpresentdressedinaseafaringslopsuit,inwhichhelookedasifhehadsomeparrotsandcigarstodisposeof,Inextdiscussedwithhimwhatdressheshouldwear。Hecherishedanextraordinarybeliefinthevirtuesof`shorts'asadisguise,andhadinhisownmindsketchedadressforhimselfthatwouldhavemadehimsomethingbetweenadeanandadentist。ItwaswithconsiderabledifficultythatIwonhimovertotheassumptionofadressmorelikeaprosperousfarmer's;andwearrangedthatheshouldcuthishairclose,andwearalittlepowder。Lastly,ashehadnotyetbeenseenbythelaundressorherniece,hewastokeephimselfoutoftheirviewuntilhischangeofdresswasmade。
  Itwouldseemasimplemattertodecideontheseprecautions;butinmydazed,nottosaydistracted,state,ittooksolong,thatIdidnotgetouttofurtherthem,untiltwoorthreeintheafternoon。HewastoremainshutupinthechamberswhileIwasgone,andwasonnoaccounttoopenthedoor。
  Therebeingtomyknowledgearespectablelodging-houseinEssex-street,thebackofwhichlookedintotheTemple,andwasalmostwithinhailofmywindows,Ifirstofallrepairedtothathouse,andwassofortunateastosecurethesecondfloorformyuncle,MrProvis。Ithenwentfromshoptoshop,makingsuchpurchasesaswerenecessarytothechangeinhisappearance。Thisbusinesstransacted,Iturnedmyface,onmyownaccount,toLittleBritain。MrJaggerswasathisdesk,but,seeingmeenter,gotupimmediatelyandstoodbeforehisfire。
  `Now,Pip,'saidhe,`becareful。'
  `Iwill,sir,'Ireturned。For,comingalongIhadthoughtwellofwhatIwasgoingtosay。
  `Don'tcommityourself,'saidMrJaggers,`anddon'tcommitanyone。
  Youunderstand-anyone。Don'ttellmeanything:Idon'twanttoknowanything;Iamnotcurious。'
  OfcourseIsawthatheknewthemanwascome。
  `Imerelywant,MrJaggers,'saidI,`toassuremyselfthatwhatIhavebeentold,istrue。Ihavenohopeofitsbeinguntrue,butatleastI
  mayverifyit。'
  MrJaggersnodded。`Butdidyousay"told"or"informed"?'heaskedme,withhisheadononeside,andnotlookingatme,butlookinginalisteningwayatthefloor。`Toldwouldseemtoimplyverbalcommunication。
  Youcan'thaveverbalcommunicationwithamaninNewSouthWales,youknow。'
  `Iwillsay,informed,MrJaggers。'
  `Good。'
  `IhavebeeninformedbyapersonnamedAbelMagwitch,thatheisthebenefactorsolongunknowntome。'
  `Thatistheman,'saidMrJaggers,`-inNewSouthWales。'
  `Andonlyhe?'saidI。
  `Andonlyhe,'saidMrJaggers。
  `Iamnotsounreasonable,sir,astothinkyouatallresponsibleformymistakesandwrongconclusions;butIalwayssupposeditwasMissHavisham。'
  `Asyousay,Pip,'returnedMrJaggers,turninghiseyesuponmecoolly,andtakingabiteathisforefinger,`Iamnotatallresponsibleforthat。'
  `Andyetitlookedsolikeit,sir,'Ipleadedwithadowncastheart。
  `Notaparticleofevidence,Pip,'saidMrJaggers,shakinghisheadandgatheringuphisskirts。`Takenothingonitslooks;takeeverythingonevidence。There'snobetterrule。'
  `Ihavenomoretosay,'saidI,withasigh,afterstandingsilentforalittlewhile。`Ihaveverifiedmyinformation,andthere'sanend。'
  `AndMagwitch-inNewSouthWales-havingatlastdisclosedhimself,'
  saidMrJaggers,`youwillcomprehend,Pip,howrigidlythroughoutmycommunicationwithyou,Ihavealwaysadheredtothestrictlineoffact。Therehasneverbeentheleastdeparturefromthestrictlineoffact。Youarequiteawareofthat?'
  `Quite,sir。'
  `IcommunicatedtoMagwitch-inNewSouthWales-whenhefirstwrotetome-fromNewSouthWales-thecautionthathemustnotexpectmeevertodeviatefromthestrictlineoffact。Ialsocommunicatedtohimanothercaution。HeappearedtometohaveobscurelyhintedinhisletteratsomedistantideahehadofseeingyouinEnglandhere。IcautionedhimthatImusthearnomoreofthat;thathewasnotatalllikelytoobtainapardon;thathewasexpatriatedforthetermofhisnaturallife;andthathispresentinghimselfinthiscountrywouldbeanactoffelony,renderinghimliabletotheextremepenaltyofthelaw。IgaveMagwitchthatcaution,'
  saidMrJaggers,lookinghardatme;`IwroteittoNewSouthWales。Heguidedhimselfbyit,nodoubt。'
  `Nodoubt,'saidI。
  `IhavebeeninformedbyWemmick,'pursuedMrJaggers,stilllookinghardatme,`thathehasreceivedaletter,underdatePortsmouth,fromacolonistofthenameofPurvis,or——'
  `OrProvis,'Isuggested。
  `OrProvis-thankyou,Pip。PerhapsitisProvis?Perhapsyouknowit'sProvis?'
  `Yes,'saidI。
  `Youknowit'sProvis。Aletter,underdatePortsmouth,fromacolonistofthenameofProvis,askingfortheparticularsofyouraddress,onbehalfofMagwitch。Wemmicksenthimtheparticulars,Iunderstand,byreturnofpost。ProbablyitisthroughProvisthatyouhavereceivedtheexplanationofMagwitch-inNewSouthWales?'
  `ItcamethroughProvis,'Ireplied。
  `Goodday,Pip,'saidMrJaggers,offeringhishand;`gladtohaveseenyou。InwritingbyposttoMagwitch-inNewSouthWales-orincommunicatingwithhimthroughProvis,havethegoodnesstomentionthattheparticularsandvouchersofourlongaccountshallbesenttoyou,togetherwiththebalance;forthereisstillabalanceremaining。Goodday,Pip!'
  Weshookhands,andhelookedhardatmeaslongashecouldseeme。
  Iturnedatthedoor,andhewasstilllookinghardatme,whilethetwovilecastsontheshelfseemedtobetryingtogettheireyelidsopen,andtoforceoutoftheirswollenthroats,`O,whatamanheis!'
  Wemmickwasout,andthoughhehadbeenathisdeskhecouldhavedonenothingforme。IwentstraightbacktotheTemple,whereIfoundtheterribleProvisdrinkingrum-and-waterandsmokingnegro-head,insafety。
  NextdaytheclothesIhadordered,allcamehome,andheputthemon。
  Whateverheputon,becamehimlessitdismallyseemedtomethanwhathehadwornbefore。Tomythinking,therewassomethinginhimthatmadeithopelesstoattempttodisguisehim。ThemoreIdressedhimandthebetterIdressedhim,themorehelookedliketheslouchingfugitiveonthemarshes。Thiseffectonmyanxiousfancywaspartlyreferable,nodoubt,tohisoldfaceandmannergrowingmorefamiliartome;butIbelievetoothathedraggedoneofhislegsasiftherewerestillaweightofirononit,andthatfromheadtofoottherewasConvictintheverygrainoftheman。
  Theinfluencesofhissolitaryhut-lifewereuponhimbesides,andgavehimasavageairthatnodresscouldtame;addedtothese,weretheinfluencesofhissubsequentbrandedlifeamongmen,and,crowingall,hisconsciousnessthathewasdodgingandhidingnow。Inallhiswaysofsittingandstanding,andeatinganddrinking-ofbroodingabout,inahigh-shoulderedreluctantstyle-oftakingouthisgreathorn-handledjack-knifeandwipingitonhislegsandcuttinghisfood-ofliftinglightglassesandcupstohislips,asiftheywereclumsypannikins-ofchoppingawedgeoffhisbread,andsoakingupwithitthelastfragmentsofgravyroundandroundhisplate,asiftomakethemostofanallowance,andthendryinghisfinger-endsonit,andthenswallowingit-inthesewaysandathousandothersmallnamelessinstancesarisingeveryminuteintheday,therewasPrisoner,Felon,Bondsman,plainasplaincouldbe。
  Ithadbeenhisownideatowearthattouchofpowder,andIhadconcededthepowderafterovercomingtheshorts。ButIcancomparetheeffectofit,whenon,tonothingbuttheprobableeffectofrougeuponthedead;
  soawfulwasthemannerinwhicheverythinginhimthatitwasmostdesirabletorepress,startedthroughthatthinlayerofpretence,andseemedtocomeblazingoutatthecrownofhishead。Itwasabandonedassoonastried,andheworehisgrizzledhaircutshort。
  WordscannottellwhatasenseIhad,atthesametime,ofthedreadfulmysterythathewastome。Whenhefellasleepofanevening,withhisknottedhandsclenchingthesidesoftheeasy-chair,andhisbaldheadtattooedwithdeepwrinklesfallingforwardonhisbreast,Iwouldsitandlookathim,wonderingwhathehaddone,andloadinghimwithallthecrimesintheCalendar,untiltheimpulsewaspowerfulonmetostartupandflyfromhim。Everyhoursoincreasedmyabhorrenceofhim,thatI
  eventhinkImighthaveyieldedtothisimpulseinthefirstagoniesofbeingsohaunted,notwithstandingallhehaddoneforme,andtheriskheran,butfortheknowledgethatHerbertmustsooncomeback。Once,I
  actuallydidstartoutofbedinthenight,andbegintodressmyselfinmyworstclothes,hurriedlyintendingtoleavehimtherewitheverythingelseIpossessed,andenlistforIndiaasaprivatesoldier。
  Idoubtifaghostcouldhavebeenmoreterribletome,upinthoselonelyroomsinthelongeveningsandlongnights,withthewindandtherainalwaysrushingby。Aghostcouldnothavebeentakenandhangedonmyaccount,andtheconsiderationthathecouldbe,andthedreadthathewouldbe,werenosmalladditiontomyhorrors。Whenhewasnotasleep,orplayingacomplicatedkindofpatiencewitharaggedpackofcardsofhisown-agamethatIneversawbeforeorsince,andinwhichherecordedhiswinningsbystickinghisjack-knifeintothetable-whenhewasnotengagedineitherofthesepursuits,hewouldaskmetoreadtohim-`Foreignlanguage,dearboy!'WhileIcomplied,he,notcomprehendingasingleword,wouldstandbeforethefiresurveyingmewiththeairofanExhibitor,andIwouldseehim,betweenthefingersofthehandwithwhichIshadedmyface,appealingindumbshowtothefurnituretotakenoticeofmyproficiency。
  Theimaginarystudentpursuedbythemisshapencreaturehehadimpiouslymade,wasnotmorewretchedthanI,pursuedbythecreaturewhohadmademe,andrecoilingfromhimwithastrongerrepulsion,themoreheadmiredmeandthefonderhewasofme。
  Thisiswrittenof,Iamsensible,asifithadlastedayear。Itlastedaboutfivedays。ExpectingHerbertallthetime,Idarednotgoout,exceptwhenItookProvisforanairingafterdark。Atlength,oneeveningwhendinnerwasoverandIhaddroppedintoaslumberquitewornout-formynightshadbeenagitatedandmyrestbrokenbyfearfuldreams-Iwasrousedbythewelcomefootsteponthestaircase。Provis,whohadbeenasleeptoo,staggeredupatthenoiseImade,andinaninstantIsawhisjack-knifeshininginhishand。
  `Quiet!It'sHerbert!'Isaid;andHerbertcameburstingin,withtheairyfreshnessofsixhundredmilesofFranceuponhim。
  `Handel,mydearfellow,howareyou,andagainhowareyou,andagainhowareyou?Iseemtohavebeengoneatwelvemonth!Why,soImusthavebeen,foryouhavegrownquitethinandpale!Handel,my-Halloa!Ibegyourpardon。'
  Hewasstoppedinhisrunningonandinhisshakinghandswithme,byseeingProvis。Provis,regardinghimwithafixedattention,wasslowlyputtinguphisjack-knife,andgropinginanotherpocketforsomethingelse。
  `Herbert,mydearfriend,'saidI,shuttingthedoubledoors,whileHerbertstoodstaringandwondering,`somethingverystrangehashappened。
  Thisis-avisitorofmine。'
  `It'sallright,dearboy!'saidProviscomingforward,withhislittleclaspedblackbook,andthenaddressinghimselftoHerbert。`Takeitinyourrighthand。Lordstrikeyoudeadonthespot,ifeveryousplitinanywaysumever!Kissit!'
  `Doso,ashewishesit,'IsaidtoHerbert。So,Herbert,lookingatmewithafriendlyuneasinessandamazement,complied,andProvisimmediatelyshakinghandswithhim,said,`Nowyou'reonyouroath,youknow。Andneverbelievemeonmine,ifPipshan'tmakeagentlemanonyou!'
  Chapter41
  INvainshouldIattempttodescribetheastonishmentanddisquietofHerbert,whenheandIandProvissatdownbeforethefire,andIrecountedthewholeofthesecret。Enough,thatIsawmyownfeelingsreflectedinHerbert'sface,and,notleastamongthem,myrepugnancetowardsthemanwhohaddonesomuchforme。
  Whatwouldalonehavesetadivisionbetweenthatmanandus,iftherehadbeennootherdividingcircumstance,washistriumphinmystory。Savinghistroublesomesenseofhavingbeen`low'ononeoccasionsincehisreturn-onwhichpointhebegantoholdforthtoHerbert,themomentmyrevelationwasfinished-hehadnoperceptionofthepossibilityofmyfindinganyfaultwithmygoodfortune。Hisboastthathehadmademeagentleman,andthathehadcometoseemesupportthecharacteronhisampleresources,wasmadeformequiteasmuchasforhimself;andthatitwasahighlyagreeableboasttobothofus,andthatwemustbothbeveryproudofit,wasaconclusionquiteestablishedinhisownmind。
  `Though,look'eehere,Pip'scomrade,'hesaidtoHerbert,afterhavingdiscoursedforsometime,`IknowverywellthatoncesinceIcomeback-forhalfaminute-I'vebeenlow。IsaidtoPip,IknowedasIhadbeenlow。Butdon'tyoufretyourselfonthatscore。Iain'tmadePipagentleman,andPipain'tagoingtomakeyouagentleman,notfurmenottoknowwhat'sduetoyeboth。Dearboy,andPip'scomrade,youtwomaycountuponmealwayshavingagen-teelmuzzleon。MuzzledIhavebeensincethathalfaminutewhenIwasbetrayedintolowness,muzzledIamatthepresenttime,muzzledIeverwillbe。'
  Herbertsaid,`Certainly,'butlookedasiftherewerenospecificconsolationinthis,andremainedperplexedanddismayed。Wewereanxiousforthetimewhenhewouldgotohislodging,andleaveustogether,buthewasevidentlyjealousofleavingustogether,andsatlate。ItwasmidnightbeforeI
  tookhimroundtoEssex-street,andsawhimsafelyinathisowndarkdoor。
  Whenitcloseduponhim,IexperiencedthefirstmomentofreliefIhadknownsincethenightofhisarrival。
  Neverquitefreefromanuneasyremembranceofthemanonthestairs,Ihadalwayslookedaboutmeintakingmyguestoutafterdark,andinbringinghimback;andIlookedaboutmenow。Difficultasitisinalargecitytoavoidthesuspicionofbeingwatched,whenthemindisconsciousofdangerinthatregard,Icouldnotpersuademyselfthatanyofthepeoplewithinsightcaredaboutmymovements。Thefewwhowerepassing,passedontheirseveralways,andthestreetwasemptywhenIturnedbackintotheTemple。Nobodyhadcomeoutatthegatewithus,nobodywentinatthegatewithme。AsIcrossedbythefountain,Isawhislightedbackwindowslookingbrightandquiet,and,whenIstoodforafewmomentsinthedoorwayofthebuildingwhereIlived,beforegoingupthestairs,Garden-courtwasasstillandlifelessasthestaircasewaswhenIascendedit。
  Herbertreceivedmewithopenarms,andIhadneverfeltbefore,soblessedly,whatitistohaveafriend。Whenhehadspokensomesoundwordsofsympathyandencouragement,wesatdowntoconsiderthequestion,Whatwastobedone?
  ThechairthatProvishadoccupiedstillremainingwhereithadstood-forhehadabarrackwaywithhimofhangingaboutonespot,inoneunsettledmanner,andgoingthroughoneroundofobservanceswithhispipeandhisnegro-headandhisjack-knifeandhispackofcards,andwhatnot,asifitwereallputdownforhimonaslate-Isay,hischairremainingwhereithadstood,Herbertunconsciouslytookit,butnextmomentstartedoutofit,pusheditaway,andtookanother。Hehadnooccasiontosay,afterthat,thathehadconceivedanaversionformypatron,neitherhadIoccasiontoconfessmyown。Weinterchangedthatconfidencewithoutshapingasyllable。
  `What,'saidItoHerbert,whenhewassafeinanotherchair,`whatistobedone?'
  `MypoordearHandel,'hereplied,holdinghishead,`Iamtoostunnedtothink。'
  `SowasI,Herbert,whentheblowfirstfell。Still,somethingmustbedone。Heisintentuponvariousnewexpenses-horses,andcarriages,andlavishappearanceofallkinds。Hemustbestoppedsomehow。'
  `Youmeanthatyoucan'taccept——'
  `HowcanI?'Iinterposed,asHerbertpaused。`Thinkofhim!Lookathim!'
  Aninvoluntaryshudderpassedoverbothofus。
  `YetIamafraidthedreadfultruthis,Herbert,thatheisattachedtome,stronglyattachedtome。Wasthereeversuchafate!'
  `MypoordearHandel,'Herbertrepeated。
  `Then,'saidI,`afterall,stoppingshorthere,nevertakinganotherpennyfromhim,thinkwhatIowehimalready!Thenagain:Iamheavilyindebt-veryheavilyforme,whohavenownoexpectations-andIhavebeenbredtonocalling,andIamfitfornothing。'
  `Well,well,well!'Herbertremonstrated。`Don'tsayfitfornothing。'
  `WhatamIfitfor?IknowonlyonethingthatIamfitfor,andthatis,togoforasoldier。AndImighthavegone,mydearHerbert,butfortheprospectoftakingcounselwithyourfriendshipandaffection。'
  OfcourseIbrokedownthere:andofcourseHerbert,beyondseizingawarmgripofmyhand,pretendednottoknowit。
  `Anyhow,mydearHandel,'saidhepresently,`soldieringwon'tdo。Ifyouweretorenouncethispatronageandthesefavours,Isupposeyouwoulddosowithsomefainthopeofonedayrepayingwhatyouhavealreadyhad。
  Notverystrong,thathope,ifyouwentsoldiering!Besides,it'sabsurd。
  YouwouldbeinfinitelybetterinClarriker'shouse,smallasitis。I
  amworkinguptowardsapartnership,youknow。'
  Poorfellow!Helittlesuspectedwithwhosemoney。
  `Butthereisanotherquestion,'saidHerbert。`Thisisanignorantdeterminedman,whohaslonghadonefixedidea。Morethanthat,heseemstomeImaymisjudgehimtobeamanofadesperateandfiercecharacter。'
  `Iknowheis,'Ireturned。`LetmetellyouwhatevidenceIhaveseenofit。'AndItoldhimwhatIhadnotmentionedinmynarrative;ofthatencounterwiththeotherconvict。
  `See,then,'saidHerbert;`thinkofthis!Hecomeshereattheperilofhislife,fortherealizationofhisfixedidea。Inthemomentofrealization,afterallhistoilandwaiting,youcutthegroundfromunderhisfeet,destroyhisidea,andmakehisgainsworthlesstohim。Doyouseenothingthathemightdo,underthedisappointment?'
  `Ihaveseenit,Herbert,anddreamedofit,eversincethefatalnightofhisarrival。Nothinghasbeeninmythoughtssodistinctly,ashisputtinghimselfinthewayofbeingtaken。'
  `Thenyoumayrelyuponit,'saidHerbert,`thattherewouldbegreatdangerofhisdoingit。ThatishispoweroveryouaslongasheremainsinEngland,andthatwouldbehisrecklesscourseifyouforsookhim。'
  Iwassostruckbythehorrorofthisidea,whichhadweigheduponmefromthefirst,andtheworkingoutofwhichwouldmakemeregardmyself,insomesort,ashismurderer,thatIcouldnotrestinmychairbutbeganpacingtoandfro。IsaidtoHerbert,meanwhile,thatevenifProviswererecognizedandtaken,inspiteofhimself,Ishouldbewretchedasthecause,howeverinnocently。Yes;eventhoughIwassowretchedinhavinghimatlargeandnearme,andeventhoughIwouldfarfarratherhaveworkedattheforgeallthedaysofmylifethanIwouldeverhavecometothis!
  Buttherewasnoravingoffthequestion,Whatwastobedone?
  `Thefirstandthemainthingtobedone,'saidHerbert,`istogethimoutofEngland。Youwillhavetogowithhim,andthenhemaybeinducedtogo。'
  `ButgethimwhereIwill,couldIpreventhiscomingback?'
  `MygoodHandel,isitnotobviousthatwithNewgateinthenextstreet,theremustbefargreaterhazardinyourbreakingyourmindtohimandmakinghimreckless,here,thanelsewhere。Ifapretexttogethimawaycouldbemadeoutofthatotherconvict,oroutofanythingelseinhislife,now。'
  `There,again!'saidI,stoppingbeforeHerbert,withmyopenhandsheldout,asiftheycontainedthedesperationofthecase。`Iknownothingofhislife。Ithasalmostmadememadtosithereofanightandseehimbeforeme,soboundupwithmyfortunesandmisfortunes,andyetsounknowntome,exceptasthemiserablewretchwhoterrifiedmetwodaysinmychildhood!'
  Herbertgotup,andlinkedhisarminmine,andweslowlywalkedtoandfrotogether,studyingthecarpet。
  `Handel,'saidHerbert,stopping,`youfeelconvincedthatyoucantakenofurtherbenefitsfromhim;doyou?'
  `Fully。Surelyyouwould,too,ifyouwereinmyplace?'
  `Andyoufeelconvincedthatyoumustbreakwithhim?'
  `Herbert,canyouaskme?'
  `Andyouhave,andareboundtohave,thattendernessforthelifehehasriskedonyouraccount,thatyoumustsavehim,ifpossible,fromthrowingitaway。ThenyoumustgethimoutofEnglandbeforeyoustirafingertoextricateyourself。Thatdone,extricateyourself,inHeaven'sname,andwe'llseeitouttogether,dearoldboy。'
  Itwasacomforttoshakehandsuponit,andwalkupanddownagain,withonlythatdone。
  `Now,Herbert,'saidI,`withreferencetogainingsomeknowledgeofhishistory。ThereisbutonewaythatIknowof。Imustaskhimpoint-blank。'
  `Yes。Askhim,'saidHerbert,`whenwesitatbreakfastinthemorning。'
  For,hehadsaid,ontakingleaveofHerbert,thathewouldcometobreakfastwithus。
  Withthisprojectformed,wewenttobed。Ihadthewildestdreamsconcerninghim,andwokeunrefreshed;Iwoke,too,torecoverthefearwhichIhadlostinthenight,ofhisbeingfoundoutasareturnedtransport。Waking,Ineverlostthatfear。
  Hecameroundattheappointedtime,tookouthisjack-knife,andsatdowntohismeal。Hewasfullofplans`forhisgentleman'scomingoutstrong,andlikeagentleman,'andurgedmetobeginspeedilyuponthepocket-book,whichhehadleftinmypossession。Heconsideredthechambersandhisownlodgingastemporaryresidences,andadvisedmetolookoutatoncefora`fashionablecrib'nearHydePark,inwhichhecouldhave`ashake-down'。Whenhehadmadeanendofhisbreakfast,andwaswipinghisknifeonhisleg,Isaidtohim,withoutawordofpreface:
  `Afteryouweregonelastnight,Itoldmyfriendofthestrugglethatthesoldiersfoundyouengagedinonthemarshes,whenwecameup。Youremember?'
  `Remember!'saidhe。`Ithinkso!'
  `Wewanttoknowsomethingaboutthatman-andaboutyou。Itisstrangetoknownomoreabouteither,andparticularlyyou,thanIwasabletotelllastnight。Isnotthisasgoodatimeasanotherforourknowingmore?'
  `Well!'hesaid,afterconsideration。`You'reonyouroath,youknow,Pip'scomrade?'
  `Assuredly,'repliedHerbert。
  `AstoanythingIsay,youknow,'heinsisted。`Theoathappliestoall。'
  `Iunderstandittodoso。'
  `Andlook'eehere!WoteverIdone,isworkedoutandpaidfor,'heinsistedagain。
  `Sobeit。'
  Hetookouthisblackpipeandwasgoingtofillitwithnegrohead,when,lookingatthetangleoftobaccoinhishand,heseemedtothinkitmightperplexthethreadofhisnarrative。Heputitbackagain,stuckhispipeinabutton-holeofhiscoat,spreadahandoneachknee,and,afterturninganangryeyeonthefireforafewsilentmoments,lookedroundatusandsaidwhatfollows。
  Chapter42
  `DEARboyandPip'scomrade。Iamnotagoingfurtotellyoumylife,likeasongorastory-book。Buttogiveityoushortandhandy,I'llputitatonceintoamouthfulofEnglish。Injailandoutofjail,injailandoutofjail,injailandoutofjail。There,yougotit。That'smylifeprettymuch,downtosuchtimesasIgotshippedoff,arterPipstoodmyfriend。
  `I'vebeendoneeverythingto,prettywell-excepthanged。I'vebeenlockedup,asmuchasasilvertea-kettle。I'vebeencartedhereandcartedthere,andputoutofthistownandputoutofthattown,andstuckinthestocks,andwhippedandworriedanddrove。I'venomorenotionwhereIwasborn,thanyouhave-ifsomuch。Ifirstbecomeawareofmyself,downinEssex,athievingturnipsformyliving。Summunhadrunawayfromme-aman-atinker-andhe'dtookthefirewithhim,andleftmewerycold。
  `Iknow'dmynametobeMagwitch,chrisen'dAbel。HowdidIknowit?
  MuchasIknow'dthebirds'namesinthehedgestobechaffinch,sparrer,thrush。Imighthavethoughtitwasallliestogether,onlyasthebirds'
  namescomeouttrue,Isupposedminedid。
  `SofurasIcouldfind,therewarn'tasoulthatseeyoungAbelMagwitch,withuslittleonhimasinhim,butwotcaughtfrightathim,andeitherdrovehimoff,ortookhimup。Iwastookup,tookup,tookup,tothatextentthatIreg'larlygrow'duptookup。
  `Thisisthewayitwas,thatwhenIwasaraggedlittlecreeturasmuchtobepitiedaseverIseenotthatIlookedintheglass,fortherewarn'tmanyinsidesoffurnishedhousesknowntome,Igotthenameofbeinghardened。"Thisisaterriblehardenedone,"theysaystoprisonwisitors,pickingoutme。"Maybesaidtoliveinjails,thisboy。"Thentheylookedatme,andIlookedatthem,andtheymeasuredmyhead,someon'em-theyhadbetterameasuredmystomach-andotherson'emgivmetractswhatIcouldn'tread,andmademespeecheswhatIcouldn'tunderstand。
  TheyalwayswentonagenmeabouttheDevil。ButwhattheDevilwasItodo?Imustputsomethingintomystomach,mustn'tI?-Howsomever,I'magettinglow,andIknowwhat'sdue。DearboyandPip'scomrade,don'tyoubeafeerdofmebeinglow。
  `Tramping,begging,thieving,workingsometimeswhenIcould-thoughthatwarn'tasoftenasyoumaythink,tillyouputthequestionwhetheryouwouldha'beenover-readytogivemeworkyourselves-abitofapoacher,abitofalabourer,abitofawaggoner,abitofahaymaker,abitofahawker,abitofmostthingsthatdon'tpayandleadtotrouble,Igottobeaman。AdesertingsoldierinaTraveller'sRest,whatlayhiduptothechinunderalotoftaturs,learntmetoread;andatravellingGiantwhatsignedhisnameatapennyatimelearntmetowrite。Iwarn'tlockedupasoftennowasformerly,butIworeoutmygoodshareofkeymetalstill。
  `AtEpsomraces,amatterofovertwentyyearsago,Igotacquaintedwi'amanwhoseskullI'dcrackwi'thispoker,liketheclawofalobster,ifI'dgotitonthishob。HisrightnamewasCompeyson;andthat'stheman,dearboy,whatyouseemeapoundingintheditch,accordingtowhatyoutrulytoldyourcomradearterIwasgonelastnight。
  `Hesetupfuragentleman,thisCompeyson,andhe'dbeentoapublicboarding-schoolandhadlearning。Hewasasmoothonetotalk,andwasadabatthewaysofgentlefolks。Hewasagood-lookingtoo。Itwasthenightaforethegreatrace,whenIfoundhimontheheath,inabooththatIknow'don。HimandsomemorewasasittingamongthetableswhenIwentin,andthelandlordwhichhadaknowledgeofme,andwasasportingone
  calledhimout,andsaid,"Ithinkthisisamanthatmightsuityou"-
  meaningIwas。
  `Compeyson,helooksatmeverynoticing,andIlookathim。Hehasawatchandachainandaringandabreast-pinandahandsomesuitofclothes。
  `"Tojudgefromappearances,you'reoutofluck,"saysCompeysontome。
  `"Yes,master,andI'veneverbeeninitmuch。"IhadcomeoutofKingstonJaillastonavagrancycommittal。Notbutwhatitmighthavebeenforsomethingelse;butitwarn't。
  `"Luckchanges,"saysCompeyson;"perhapsyoursisgoingtochange。"
  `Isays,"Ihopeitmaybeso。There'sroom。"
  `"Whatcanyoudo?"saysCompeyson。
  `"Eatanddrink,"Isays;"ifyou'llfindthematerials。"
  `Compeysonlaughed,lookedatmeagainverynoticing,givmefiveshillings,andappointedmefornextnight。Sameplace。
  `IwenttoCompeysonnextnight,sameplace,andCompeysontookmeontobehismanandpardner。AndwhatwasCompeyson'sbusinessinwhichwewastogopardners?Compeyson'sbusinesswastheswindling,handwritingforging,stolenbank-notepassing,andsuch-like。AllsortsoftrapsasCompeysoncouldsetwithhishead,andkeephisownlegsoutofandgettheprofitsfromandletanothermaninfor,wasCompeyson'sbusiness。
  He'dnomoreheartthanaironfile,hewasascoldasdeath,andhehadtheheadoftheDevilaforementioned。
  `TherewasanotherinwithCompeyson,aswascalledArthur-notasbeingsochrisen'd,butasasurname。HewasinaDecline,andwasashadowtolookat。HimandCompeysonhadbeeninabadthingwitharichladysomeyearsafore,andthey'dmadeapotofmoneybyit;butCompeysonbettedandgamed,andhe'dhaverunthroughtheking'staxes。So,Arthurwasadying,andadyingpoorandwiththehorrorsonhim,andCompeyson'swifewhichCompeysonkickedmostlywasahavingpityonhimwhenshecould,andCompeysonwasahavingpityonnothingandnobody。
  `ImightatookwarningbyArthur,butIdidn't;andIwon'tpretendIwaspartick'ler-forwhere'udbethegoodonit,dearboyandcomrade?
  SoIbegunwi'Compeyson,andapoortoolIwasinhishands。ArthurlivedatthetopofCompeyson'shouseovernighBrentforditwas,andCompeysonkeptacarefulaccountagenhimforboardandlodging,incaseheshouldevergetbettertoworkitout。ButArthursoonsettledtheaccount。ThesecondorthirdtimeaseverIseehim,hecomeatearingdownintoCompeyson'sparlourlateatnight,inonlyaflannelgown,withhishairallinasweat,andhesaystoCompeyson'swife,"Sally,shereallyisupstairsalongerme,now,andIcan'tgetridofher。She'sallinwhite,"hesays,"wi'
  whiteflowersinherhair,andshe'sawfulmad,andshe'sgotashroudhangingoverherarm,andshesaysshe'llputitonmeatfiveinthemorning。"
  `SaysCompeyson:"Why,youfool,don'tyouknowshe'sgotalivingbody?
  Andhowshouldshebeupthere,withoutcomingthroughthedoor,orinatthewindow,andupthestairs?"
  `"Idon'tknowhowshe'sthere,"saysArthur,shiveringdreadfulwiththehorrors,"butshe'sstandinginthecorneratthefootofthebed,awfulmad。Andoverwhereherheart'sbrook-youbrokeit!-there'sdropsofblood。"
  `Compeysonspokehardy,buthewasalwaysacoward。"Goupalongerthisdrivellingsickman,"hesaystohiswife,"andMagwitch,lendherahand,willyou?"Buthenevercomenighhimself。
  `Compeyson'swifeandmetookhimuptobedagen,andheravedmostdreadful。"Whylookather!"hecriesout。"She'sashakingtheshroudatme!Don'tyouseeher?Lookathereyes!Ain'titawfultoseehersomad?"Next,hecries,"She'llputitonme,andthenI'mdonefor!Takeitawayfromher,takeitaway!"Andthenhecatchedholdofus,andkeponatalkingtoher,andansweringofher,tillIhalfbelievedIseehermyself。
  `Compeyson'swife,beingusedtohim,givhimsomeliquortogetthehorrorsoff,andby-and-byhequieted。"Oh,she'sgone!Hasherkeeperbeenforher?"hesays。"Yes,"saysCompeyson'swife。"Didyoutellhimtolockherandbarherin?""Yes。""Andtotakethatuglythingawayfromher?"
  "Yes,yes,allright。""You'reagoodcreetur,"hesays,"don'tleaveme,whateveryoudo,andthankyou!"
  `Herestedprettyquiettillitmightwantafewminutesoffive,andthenhestartsupwithascream,andscreamsout,"Heresheis!She'sgottheshroudagain。She'sunfoldingit。She'scomingoutofthecorner。She'scomingtothebed。Holdme,bothonyou-oneofeachside-don'tlethertouchmewithit。Hah!shemissedmethattime。Don'tletherthrowitovermyshoulders。Don'tletherliftmeuptogetitroundme。She'sliftingmeup。Keepmedown!"Thenheliftedhimselfuphard,andwasdead。
  `Compeysontookiteasyasagoodriddanceforbothsides。Himandmewassoonbusy,andfirsthesworemebeingeverartfulonmyownbook-thisherelittleblackbook,dearboy,whatIsworeyourcomradeon。
  `NottogointothethingsthatCompeysonplanned,andIdone-which'udtakeaweek-I'llsimplysaytoyou,dearboy,andPip'scomrade,thatthatmangotmeintosuchnetsasmademehisblackslave。Iwasalwaysindebttohim,alwaysunderhisthumb,alwaysaworking,alwaysagettingintodanger。Hewasyoungerthanme,buthe'dgotcraft,andhe'dgotlearning,andheovermatchedmefivehundredtimestoldandnomercy。MyMissisasIhadthehardtimewi'-Stopthough!Iain'tbroughtherin——'
  Helookedabouthiminaconfusedway,asifhehadlosthisplaceinthebookofhisremembrance;andheturnedhisfacetothefire,andspreadhishandsbroaderonhisknees,andliftedthemoffandputthemonagain。
  `Thereain'tnoneedtogointoit,'hesaid,lookingroundoncemore。
  `Thetimewi'Compeysonwasa'mostashardatimeaseverIhad;thatsaid,all'ssaid。DidItellyouasIwastried,alone,formisdemeanour,whilewithCompeyson?'
  Ianswered,No。
  `Well!'hesaid,`Iwas,andgotconvicted。Astotookuponsuspicion,thatwastwiceorthreetimesinthefourorfiveyearthatitlasted;butevidencewaswanting。Atlast,meandCompeysonwasbothcommittedforfelony-onachargeofputtingstolennotesincirculation-andtherewasotherchargesbehind。Compeysonsaystome,"Separatedefences,nocommunication,"andthatwasall。AndIwassomiserablepoor,thatIsoldalltheclothesIhad,exceptwhathungonmyback,aforeIcouldgetJaggers。
  `Whenwewasputinthedock,InoticedfirstofallwhatagentlemanCompeysonlooked,wi'hiscurlyhairandhisblackclothesandhiswhitepocket-handkercher,andwhatacommonsortofawretchIlooked。Whentheprosecutionopenedandtheevidencewasputshort,aforehand,Inoticedhowheavyitallboreonme,andhowlightonhim。Whentheevidencewasgivinthebox,Inoticedhowitwasalwaysmethathadcomefor'ard,andcouldbesworeto,howitwasalwaysmethatthemoneyhadbeenpaidto,howitwasalwaysmethathadseemedtoworkthethingandgettheprofit。
  But,whenthedefencecomeon,thenIseetheplanplainer;for,saysthecounsellorforCompeyson,"Mylordandgentlemen,hereyouhasaforeyou,sidebyside,twopersonsasyoureyescanseparatewide;one,theyounger,wellbroughtup,whowillbespoketoassuch;one,theelder,illbroughtup,whowillbespoketoassuch;one,theyounger,seldomifeverseenintheseheretransactions,andonlysuspected;t'other,theelder,alwaysseenin'emandalwayswi'hisguiltbroughthome。Canyoudoubt,ifthereisbutoneinit,whichistheone,and,ifthereistwoinit,whichismuchtheworstone?"Andsuch-like。Andwhenitcometocharacter,warn'titCompeysonashadbeentotheschool,andwarn'tithisschoolfellowsaswasinthispositionandinthat,andwarn'tithimashadbeenknow'dbywitnessesinsuchclubsandsocieties,andnowttohisdisadvantage?
  Andwarn'titmeashadbeentriedafore,andashadbeenknow'duphillanddowndaleinBridewellsandLock-Ups?Andwhenitcometospeech-making,warn'titCompeysonascouldspeakto'emwi'hisfacedroppingeverynowandthenintohiswhitepocket-handkercher-ah!andwi'versesinhisspeech,too-andwarn'titmeascouldonlysay,"Gentlemen,thismanatmysideisamostpreciousrascal"?Andwhentheverdictcome,warn'titCompeysonaswasrecommendedtomercyonaccountofgoodcharacterandbadcompany,andgivingupalltheinformationhecouldagenme,andwarn'titmeasgotneverawordbutGuilty?AndwhenIsaystoCompeyson,"Onceoutofthiscourt,I'llsmashthatfaceofyourn!"ain'titCompeysonaspraystheJudgetobeprotected,andgetstwoturnkeysstoodbetwixtus?
  Andwhenwe'resentenced,ain'tithimasgetssevenyear,andmefourteen,andain'tithimastheJudgeissorryfor,becausehemightadonesowell,andain'titmeastheJudgeperceivestobeaoldoffenderofwiolentpassion,likelytocometoworse?'
  Hehadworkedhimselfintoastateofgreatexcitement,buthecheckedit,tooktwoorthreeshortbreaths,swallowedasoften,andstretchingouthishandtowardsmesaid,inareassuringmanner,`Iain'tagoingtobelow,dearboy!'
  Hehadsoheatedhimselfthathetookouthishandkerchiefandwipedhisfaceandheadandneckandhands,beforehecouldgoon。
  `IhadsaidtoCompeysonthatI'dsmashthatfaceofhis,andIsworeLordsmashmine!todoit。Wewasinthesameprison-ship,butIcouldn'tgetathimforlong,thoughItried。AtlastIcomebehindhimandhithimonthecheektoturnhimroundandgetasmashingoneathim,whenIwasseenandseized。Theblack-holeofthatshipwarn'tastrongone,toajudgeofblack-holesthatcouldswimanddive。Iescapedtotheshore,andIwasahidingamongthegravesthere,envyingthemaswasin'emandallover,whenIfirstseemyboy!'
  Heregardedmewithalookofaffectionthatmadehimalmostabhorrenttomeagain,thoughIhadfeltgreatpityforhim。
  `Bymyboy,IwasgivtounderstandasCompeysonwasoutonthemmarshestoo。Uponmysoul,Ihalfbelieveheescapedinhisterror,togetquitofme,notknowingitwasmeashadgotashore。Ihuntedhimdown。Ismashedhisface。"Andnow,"saysI"astheworstthingIcando,caringnothingformyself,I'lldragyouback。"AndI'dhaveswumoff,towinghimbythehair,ifithadcometothat,andI'dagothimabroadwithoutthesoldiers。
  `Ofcoursehe'dmuchthebestofittothelast-hischaracterwassogood。Hehadescapedwhenhewasmadehalf-wildbymeandmymurderousintentions;andhispunishmentwaslight。Iwasputinirons,broughttotrialagain,andsentforlife。Ididn'tstopforlife,dearboyandPip'scomrade,beinghere。'
  `Hewipedhimselfagain,ashehaddonebefore,andthenslowlytookhistangleoftobaccofromhispocket,andpluckedhispipefromhisbutton-hole,andslowlyfilledit,andbegantosmoke。
  `Ishedead?'Iasked,afterasilence。
  `Iswhodead,dearboy?'
  `Compeyson。'
  `HehopesIam,ifhe'salive,youmaybesure,'withafiercelook。`Ineverheerdnomoreofhim。'
  Herberthadbeenwritingwithhispencilinthecoverofabook。Hesoftlypushedthebookovertome,asProvisstoodsmokingwithhiseyesonthefire,andIreadinit:
  `YoungHavisham'snamewasArthur。CompeysonisthemanwhoprofessedtobeMissHavisham'slover。'
  IshutthebookandnoddedslightlytoHerbert,andputthebookby;
  butweneitherofussaidanything,andbothlookedatProvisashestoodsmokingbythefire。
  Chapter43
  WHYshouldIpausetoaskhowmuchofmyshrinkingfromProvismightbetracedtoEstella?WhyshouldIloiteronmyroad,tocomparethestateofmindinwhichIhadtriedtoridmyselfofthestainoftheprisonbeforemeetingheratthecoach-office,withthestateofmindinwhichInowreflectedontheabyssbetweenEstellainherprideandbeauty,andthereturnedtransportwhomIharboured?Theroadwouldbenonethesmootherforit,theendwouldbenonethebetterforit,hewouldnotbehelped,norIextenuated。
  Anewfearhadbeenengenderedinmymindbyhisnarrative;orrather,hisnarrativehadgivenformandpurposetothefearthatwasalreadythere。
  IfCompeysonwerealiveandshoulddiscoverhisreturn,Icouldhardlydoubttheconsequence。That,Compeysonstoodinmortalfearofhim,neitherofthetwocouldknowmuchbetterthanI;andthat,anysuchmanasthatmanhadbeendescribedtobe,wouldhesitatetoreleasehimselfforgoodfromadreadedenemybythesafemeansofbecominganinformer,wasscarcelytobeimagined。
  NeverhadIbreathed,andneverwouldIbreathe-orsoIresolved-
  awordofEstellatoProvis。But,IsaidtoHerbertthatbeforeIcouldgoabroad,ImustseebothEstellaandMissHavisham。ThiswaswhenwewereleftaloneonthenightofthedaywhenProvistoldushisstory。
  IresolvedtogoouttoRichmondnextday,andIwent。
  OnmypresentingmyselfatMrsBrandley's,Estella'smaidwascalledtotellthatEstellahadgoneintothecountry。Where?ToSatisHouse,asusual。Notasusual,Isaid,forshehadneveryetgonetherewithoutme;whenwasshecomingback?Therewasanairofreservationintheanswerwhichincreasedmyperplexity,andtheanswerwas,thathermaidbelievedshewasonlycomingbackatallforalittlewhile。Icouldmakenothingofthis,exceptthatitwasmeantthatIshouldmakenothingofit,andIwenthomeagainincompletediscomfiture。
  Anothernight-consultationwithHerbertafterProviswasgonehomeI
  alwaystookhimhome,andalwayslookedwellaboutme,ledustotheconclusionthatnothingshouldbesaidaboutgoingabroaduntilIcamebackfromMissHavisham's。Inthemeantime,HerbertandIweretoconsiderseparatelywhatitwouldbebesttosay;whetherweshoulddeviseanypretenceofbeingafraidthathewasundersuspiciousobservation;orwhetherI,whohadneveryetbeenabroad,shouldproposeanexpedition。WebothknewthatIhadbuttoproposeanything,andhewouldconsent。Weagreedthathisremainingmanydaysinhispresenthazardwasnottobethoughtof。
  Nextday,IhadthemeannesstofeignthatIwasunderabindingpromisetogodowntoJoe;butIwascapableofalmostanymeannesstowardsJoeorhisname。ProviswastobestrictlycarefulwhileIwasgone,andHerbertwastotakethechargeofhimthatIhadtaken。Iwastobeabsentonlyonenight,and,onmyreturn,thegratificationofhisimpatienceformystartingasagentlemanonagreaterscale,wastobebegun。Itoccurredtomethen,andasIafterwardsfoundtoHerbertalso,thathemightbebestgotawayacrossthewater,onthatpretence-as,tomakepurchases,orthelike。
  HavingthusclearedthewayformyexpeditiontoMissHavisham's,I
  setoffbytheearlymorningcoachbeforeitwasyetlight,andwasoutontheopencountry-roadwhenthedaycamecreepingon,haltingandwhimperingandshivering,andwrappedinpatchesofcloudsandragsofmist,likeabeggar。WhenwedroveuptotheBlueBoarafteradrizzlyride,whomshouldIseecomeoutunderthegateway,toothpickinhand,tolookatthecoach,butBentleyDrummle!
  Ashepretendednottoseeme,Ipretendednottoseehim。Itwasaverylamepretenceonbothsides;thelamer,becausewebothwentintothecoffee-room,wherehehadjustfinishedhisbreakfast,andwhereI
  orderedmine。Itwaspoisonoustometoseehiminthetown,forIverywellknewwhyhehadcomethere。
  Pretendingtoreadasmearynewspaperlongoutofdate,whichhadnothinghalfsolegibleinitslocalnews,astheforeignmatterofcoffee,pickles,fish-sauces,gravy,meltedbutter,andwine,withwhichitwassprinkledallover,asifithadtakenthemeaslesinahighlyirregularform,I
  satatmytablewhilehestoodbeforethefire。Bydegreesitbecameanenormousinjurytomethathestoodbeforethefire,andIgotup,determinedtohavemyshareofit。IhadtoputmyhandsbehindhislegsforthepokerwhenIwentuptothefire-placetostirthefire,butstillpretendednottoknowhim。
  `Isthisacut?'saidMrDrummle。
  `Oh!'saidI,pokerinhand;`it'syou,isit?Howdoyoudo?Iwaswonderingwhoitwas,whokeptthefireoff。'
  Withthat,Ipokedtremendously,andhavingdoneso,plantedmyselfsidebysidewithMrDummle,myshoulderssquaredandmybacktothefire。
  `Youhavejustcomedown?'saidMrDrummle,edgingmealittleawaywithhisshoulder。
  `Yes,'saidI,edginghimalittleawaywithmyshoulder。
  `Beastlyplace,'saidDrummle-`Yourpartofthecountry,Ithink?'
  `Yes,'Iassented。`Iamtoldit'sverylikeyourShropshire。'
  `Notintheleastlikeit,'saidDrummle。
  HereMrDrummlelookedathisboots,andIlookedatmine,andthenMrDrummlelookedatmyboots,andIlookedathis。
  `Haveyoubeenherelong?'Iasked,determinednottoyieldaninchofthefire。
  `Longenoughtobetiredofit,'returnedDrummle,pretendingtoyawn,butequallydetermined。
  `Doyoustayherelong?'
  `Can'tsay,'answeredMrDrummle。`Doyou?'
  `Can'tsay,'saidI。
  Ifelthere,throughatinglinginmyblood,thatifMrDrummle'sshoulderhadclaimedanotherhair'sbreadthofroom,Ishouldhavejerkedhimintothewindow;equally,thatifmyownshoulderhadurgedasimilarclaim,MrDrummlewouldhavejerkedmeintothenearestbox。Hewhistledalittle。
  SodidI。
  `Largetractofmarshesabouthere,Ibelieve?'saidDrummle。
  `Yes。Whatofthat?'saidI。
  MrDrummlelookedatme,andthenatmyboots,andthensaid,`Oh!'
  andlaughed。
  `Areyouamused,MrDrummle?'
  `No,'saidhe,`notparticularly。Iamgoingoutforarideinthesaddle。
  Imeantoexplorethosemarshesforamusement。Out-of-the-wayvillagesthere,theytellme。Curiouslittlepublic-houses-andsmithies-andthat。Waiter!'
  `Yes,sir。'
  `Isthathorseofmineready?'
  `Broughtroundtothedoor,sir。'
  `Isay。Lookhere,yousir。Theladywon'trideto-day;theweatherwon'tdo。'
  `Verygood,sir。'
  `AndIdon'tdine,becauseI'mgoingtodineatthelady's。'
  `Verygood,sir。'
  Then,Drummleglancedatme,withaninsolenttriumphonhisgreat-jowledfacethatcutmetotheheart,dullashewas,andsoexasperatedme,thatIfeltinclinedtotakehiminmyarmsastherobberinthestory-bookissaidtohavetakentheoldlady,andseathimonthefire。
  Onethingwasmanifesttobothofus,andthatwas,thatuntilreliefcame,neitherofuscouldrelinquishthefire。Therewasstood,wellsquaredupbeforeit,shouldertoshoulderandfoottofoot,withourhandsbehindus,notbudginganinch。Thehorsewasvisibleoutsideinthedrizzleatthedoor,mybreakfastwasputontable,Drummle'swasclearedaway,thewaiterinvitedmetobegin,Inodded,webothstoodourground。
  `HaveyoubeentotheGrovesince?'saidDrummle。
  `No,'saidI,`IhadquiteenoughoftheFinchesthelasttimeIwasthere。'
  `Wasthatwhenwehadadifferenceofopinion?'
  `Yes,'Ireplied,veryshortly。
  `Come,come!Theyletyouoffeasilyenough,'sneeredDrummle。`Youshouldn'thavelostyourtemper。'
  `MrDrummle,'saidI,`youarenotcompetenttogiveadviceonthatsubject。WhenIlosemytempernotthatIadmithavingdonesoonthatoccasion,Idon'tthrowglasses。'
  `Ido,'saidDrummle。
  Againglancingathimonceortwice,inanincreasedstateofsmoulderingferocity,Isaid:
  `MrDrummle,Ididnotseekthisconversation,andIdon'tthinkitanagreeableone。'
  `Iamsureit'snot,'saidhe,superciliouslyoverhisshoulder;`I
  don'tthinkanythingaboutit。'
  `Andtherefore,'Iwenton,`withyourleave,Iwillsuggestthatweholdnokindofcommunicationinfuture。'
  `Quitemyopinion,'saidDrummle,`andwhatIshouldhavesuggestedmyself,ordone-morelikely-withoutsuggesting。Butdon'tloseyourtemper。Haven'tyoulostenoughwithoutthat?'
  `Whatdoyoumean,sir?'
  `Wai-ter!,'saidDrummle,bywayofansweringme。