WemmickexplainedtomewhiletheAgedgothisspectaclesout，thatthiswasaccordingtocustom，andthatitgavetheoldgentlemaninfinitesatisfactiontoreadthenewsaloud。`Iwon'tofferanapology，'saidWemmick，`forheisn'tcapableofmanypleasures-areyou，AgedP。？'
　　`Allright，John，allright，'returnedtheoldman，seeinghimselfspokento。
　　`Onlytiphimanodeverynowandthenwhenhelooksoffhispaper，'
　　saidWemmick，`andhe'llbeashappyasaking。Weareallattention，AgedOne。'
　　`Allright，John，allright！'returnedthecheerfuloldman:sobusyandsopleased，thatitreallywasquitecharming。
　　TheAged'sreadingremindedmeoftheclassesatMrWopsle'sgreat-aunt's，withthepleasanterpeculiaritythatitseemedtocomethroughakeyhole。
　　Ashewantedthecandlesclosetohim，andashewasalwaysonthevergeofputtingeitherhisheadorthenewspaperintothem，herequiredasmuchwatchingasapowder-mill。ButWemmickwasequallyuntiringandgentleinhisvigilance，andtheAgedreadon，quiteunconsciousofhismanyrescues。
　　Wheneverhelookedatus，weallexpressedthegreatestinterestandamazement，andnoddeduntilheresumedagain。
　　AsWemmickandMissSkiffinssatsidebyside，andasIsatinashadowycorner，IobservedaslowandgradualelongationofMrWemmick'smouth，powerfullysuggestiveofhisslowlyandgraduallystealinghisarmroundMissSkiffins'swaist。IncourseoftimeIsawhishandappearontheothersideofMissSkiffins；butatthatmomentMissSkiffinsneatlystoppedhimwiththegreenglove，unwoundhisarmagainasifitwereanarticleofdress，andwiththegreatestdeliberationlaiditonthetablebeforeher。MissSkiffins'scomposurewhileshedidthiswasoneofthemostremarkablesightsIhaveeverseen，andifIcouldhavethoughttheactconsistentwithabstractionofmind，IshouldhavedeemedthatMissSkiffinsperformeditmechanically。
　　By-and-by，InoticedWemmick'sarmbeginningtodisappearagain，andgraduallyfadingoutofview。Shortlyafterwards，hismouthbegantowidenagain。Afteranintervalofsuspenseonmypartthatwasquiteenthrallingandalmostpainful，IsawhishandappearontheothersideofMissSkiffins。
　　Instantly，MissSkiffinsstoppeditwiththeneatnessofaplacidboxer，tookoffthatgirdleorcestusasbefore，andlaiditonthetable。Takingthetabletorepresentthepathofvirtue，IamjustifiedinstatingthatduringthewholetimeoftheAged'sreading，Wemmick'sarmwasstrayingfromthepathofvirtueandbeingrecalledtoitbyMissSkiffins。
　　Atlast，theAgedreadhimselfintoalightslumber。ThiswasthetimeforWemmicktoproducealittlekettle，atrayofglasses，andablackbottlewithaporcelain-toppedcork，representingsomeclericaldignitaryofarubicundandsocialaspect。Withtheaidoftheseappliancesweallhadsomethingwarmtodrink:includingtheAged，whowassoonawakeagain。
　　MissSkiffinsmixed，andIobservedthatsheandWemmickdrankoutofoneglass。OfcourseIknewbetterthantooffertoseeMissSkiffinshome，andunderthecircumstancesIthoughtIhadbestgofirst:whichIdid，takingacordialleaveoftheAged，andhavingpassedapleasantevening。
　　Beforeaweekwasout，IreceivedanotefromWemmick，datedWalworth，statingthathehopedhehadmadesomeadvanceinthatmatterappertainingtoourprivateandpersonalcapacities，andthathewouldbegladifI
　　couldcomeandseehimagainuponit。So，IwentouttoWalworthagain，andyetagain，andyetagain，andIsawhimbyappointmentintheCityseveraltimes，butneverheldanycommunicationwithhimonthesubjectinornearLittleBritain。Theupshotwas，thatwefoundaworthyyoungmerchantorshipping-broker，notlongestablishedinbusiness，whowantedintelligenthelp，andwhowantedcapital，andwhoinduecourseoftimeandreceiptwouldwantapartner。Betweenhimandme，secretarticlesweresignedofwhichHerbertwasthesubject，andIpaidhimhalfofmyfivehundredpoundsdown，andengagedforsundryotherpayments:some，tofalldueatcertaindatesoutofmyincome:some，contingentonmycomingintomyproperty。MissSkiffins'sbrotherconductedthenegotiation。Wemmickpervadeditthroughout，butneverappearedinit。
　　Thewholebusinesswassocleverlymanaged，thatHerberthadnottheleastsuspicionofmyhandbeinginit。Inevershallforgettheradiantfacewithwhichhecamehomeoneafternoon，andtoldme，asamightypieceofnews，ofhishavingfalleninwithoneClarrikertheyoungmerchant'sname，andofClarriker'shavingshownanextraordinaryinclinationtowardshim，andofhisbeliefthattheopeninghadcomeatlast。Daybydayashishopesgrewstrongerandhisfacebrighter，hemusthavethoughtmeamoreandmoreaffectionatefriend，forIhadthegreatestdifficultyinrestrainingmytearsoftriumphwhenIsawhimsohappy。Atlength，thethingbeingdone，andhehavingthatdayenteredClarriker'sHouse，andhehavingtalkedtomeforawholeeveninginaflushofpleasureandsuccess，IdidreallycryingoodearnestwhenIwenttobed，tothinkthatmyexpectationshaddonesomegoodtosomebody。
　　Agreateventinmylife，theturningpointofmylife，nowopensonmyview。But，beforeIproceedtonarrateit，andbeforeIpassontoallthechangesitinvolved，ImustgiveonechaptertoEstella。Itisnotmuchtogivetothethemethatsolongfilledmyheart。
　　Chapter38
　　IFthatstaidoldhouseneartheGreenatRichmondshouldevercometobehauntedwhenIamdead，itwillbehaunted，surely，bymyghost。
　　Othemany，manynightsanddaysthroughwhichtheunquietspiritwithinmehauntedthathousewhenEstellalivedthere！Letmybodybewhereitwould，myspiritwasalwayswandering，wandering，wandering，aboutthathouse。
　　TheladywithwhomEstellawasplaced，MrsBrandleybyname，wasawidow，withonedaughterseveralyearsolderthanEstella。Themotherlookedyoung，andthedaughterlookedold；themother'scomplexionwaspink，andthedaughter'swasyellow；themothersetupforfrivolity，andthedaughterfortheology。Theywereinwhatiscalledagoodposition，andvisited，andwerevisitedby，numbersofpeople。Little，ifany，communityoffeelingsubsistedbetweenthemandEstella，buttheunderstandingwasestablishedthattheywerenecessarytoher，andthatshewasnecessarytothem。MrsBrandleyhadbeenafriendofMissHavisham'sbeforethetimeofherseclusion。
　　InMrsBrandley'shouseandoutofMrsBrandley'shouse，IsufferedeverykindanddegreeoftorturethatEstellacouldcauseme。Thenatureofmyrelationswithher，whichplacedmeontermsoffamiliaritywithoutplacingmeontermsoffavour，conducedtomydistraction。Shemadeuseofmetoteaseotheradmirers，andsheturnedtheveryfamiliaritybetweenherselfandme，totheaccountofputtingaconstantslightonmydevotiontoher。IfIhadbeenhersecretary，steward，half-brother，poorrelation-ifIhadbeenayoungerbrotherofherappointedhusband-Icouldnothaveseemedtomyself，furtherfrommyhopeswhenIwasnearesttoher。
　　Theprivilegeofcallingherbyhernameandhearinghercallmebymine，becameunderthecircumstancesanaggravationofmytrials；andwhileI
　　thinkitlikelythatitalmostmaddenedherotherlovers，Iknowtoocertainlythatitalmostmaddenedme。
　　Shehadadmirerswithoutend。Nodoubtmyjealousymadeanadmirerofeveryonewhowentnearher；butthereweremorethanenoughofthemwithoutthat。
　　IsawheroftenatRichmond，Iheardofheroftenintown，andIusedoftentotakeherandtheBrandleysonthewater；therewerepic-nics，fê；tedays，plays，operas，concerts，parties，allsortsofpleasures，throughwhichIpursuedher-andtheywereallmiseriestome。Ineverhadonehour'shappinessinhersociety，andyetmymindallroundthefour-and-twentyhourswasharpingonthehappinessofhavingherwithmeuntodeath。
　　Throughoutthispartofourintercourse-anditlasted，aswillpresentlybeseen，forwhatIthenthoughtalongtime-shehabituallyrevertedtothattonewhichexpressedthatourassociationwasforceduponus。Therewereothertimeswhenshewouldcometoasuddencheckinthistoneandinallhermanytones，andwouldseemtopityme。
　　`Pip，Pip，'shesaidoneevening，comingtosuchacheck，whenwesatapartatadarkeningwindowofthehouseinRichmond；`willyounevertakewarning？'
　　`Ofwhat？'
　　`Ofme。'
　　`Warningnottobeattractedbyyou，doyoumean，Estella？'
　　`DoImean！Ifyoudon'tknowwhatImean，youareblind。'
　　IshouldhaverepliedthatLovewascommonlyreputedblind，butforthereasonthatIalwayswasrestrained-andthiswasnottheleastofmymiseries-byafeelingthatitwasungeneroustopressmyselfuponher，whensheknewthatshecouldnotchoosebutobeyMissHavisham。Mydreadalwayswas，thatthisknowledgeonherpartlaidmeunderaheavydisadvantagewithherpride，andmademethesubjectofarebelliousstruggleinherbosom。
　　`Atanyrate，'saidI，`Ihavenowarninggivenmejustnow，foryouwrotetometocometoyou，thistime。'
　　`That'strue，'saidEstella，withacoldcarelesssmilethatalwayschilledme。
　　Afterlookingatthetwilightwithout，foralittlewhile，shewentontosay:
　　`ThetimehascomeroundwhenMissHavishamwishestohavemeforadayatSatis。Youaretotakemethere，andbringmeback，ifyouwill。
　　ShewouldratherIdidnottravelalone，andobjectstoreceivingmymaid，forshehasasensitivehorrorofbeingtalkedofbysuchpeople。Canyoutakeme？'
　　`CanItakeyou，Estella！'
　　`Youcanthen？Thedayafterto-morrow，ifyouplease。Youaretopayallchargesoutofmypurse，Youheartheconditionofyourgoing？'
　　`Andmustobey，'saidI。
　　ThiswasallthepreparationIreceivedforthatvisit，orforotherslikeit:MissHavishamneverwrotetome，norhadIeversomuchasseenherhandwriting。Wewentdownonthenextdaybutone，andwefoundherintheroomwhereIhadfirstbeheldher，anditisneedlesstoaddthattherewasnochangeinSatisHouse。
　　ShewasevenmoredreadfullyfondofEstellathanshehadbeenwhenIlastsawthemtogether；Irepeatthewordadvisedly，fortherewassomethingpositivelydreadfulintheenergyofherlooksandembraces。ShehunguponEstella'sbeauty，hunguponherwords，hunguponhergestures，andsatmumblingherowntremblingfingerswhileshelookedather，asthoughsheweredevouringthebeautifulcreatureshehadreared。
　　FromEstellashelookedatme，withasearchingglancethatseemedtopryintomyheartandprobeitswounds。`Howdoessheuseyou，Pip；howdoessheuseyou？'sheaskedmeagain，withherwitch-likeeagerness，eveninEstella'shearing。But，whenwesatbyherflickeringfireatnight，shewasmostweird；forthen，keepingEstella'shanddrawnthroughherarmandclutchedinherownhand，sheextortedfromher，bydintofreferringbacktowhatEstellahadtoldherinherregularletters，thenamesandconditionsofthemenwhomshehadfascinated；andasMissHavishamdweltuponhisroll，withtheintensityofamindmortallyhurtanddiseased，shesatwithherotherhandonhercrutchstick，andherchinonthat，andherwanbrighteyesglaringatme，averyspectre。
　　Isawinthis，wretchedthoughitmademe，andbitterthesenseofdependenceandevenofdegradationthatitawakened-Isawinthis，thatEstellawassettowreakMissHavisham'srevengeonmen，andthatshewasnottobegiventomeuntilshehadgratifieditforaterm。Isawinthis，areasonforherbeingbeforehandassignedtome。Sendingherouttoattractandtormentanddomischief，MissHavishamsentherwiththemaliciousassurancethatshewasbeyondthereachofalladmirers，andthatallwhostakeduponthatcastweresecuredtolose。Isawinthis，thatI，too，wastormentedbyaperversionofingenuity，evenwhiletheprizewasreservedforme。Isawinthis，thereasonformybeingstavedoffsolong，andthereasonformylateguardian'sdecliningtocommithimselftotheformalknowledgeofsuchascheme。Inaword，Isawinthis，MissHavishamasIhadherthenandtherebeforemyeyes，andalwayshadhadherbeforemyeyes；andIsawinthis，thedistinctshadowofthedarkenedandunhealthyhouseinwhichherlifewashiddenfromthesun。
　　Thecandlesthatlightedthatroomofherswereplacedinsconcesonthewall。Theywerehighfromtheground，andtheyburntwiththesteadydulnessofartificiallightinairthatisseldomrenewed。AsIlookedroundatthem，andatthepalegloomtheymade，andatthestoppedclock，andatthewitheredarticlesofbridaldressuponthetableandtheground，andatherownawfulfigurewithitsghostlyreflectionthrownlargebythefireupontheceilingandthewall，Isawineverythingtheconstructionthatmymindhadcometo，repeatedandthrownbacktome。Mythoughtspassedintothegreatroomacrossthelandingwherethetablewasspread，andIsawitwritten，asitwere，inthefallsofthecobwebsfromthecentre-piece，inthecrawlingsofthespidersonthecloth，inthetracksofthemiceastheybetooktheirlittlequickenedheartsbehindthepanels，andinthegropingsandpausingsofthebeetlesonthefloor。
　　IthappenedontheoccasionofthisvisitthatsomesharpwordsarosebetweenEstellaandMissHavisham。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverseenthemopposed。
　　Wewereseatedbythefire，asjustnowdescribed，andMissHavishamstillhadEstella'sarmdrawnthroughherown，andstillclutchedEstella'shandinhers，whenEstellagraduallybegantodetachherself。Shehadshownaproudimpatiencemorethanoncebefore，andhadratherenduredthatfierceaffectionthanacceptedorreturnedit。
　　`What！'saidMissHavisham，flashinghereyesuponher，`areyoutiredofme？'
　　`Onlyalittletiredofmyself，'repliedEstella，disengagingherarm，andmovingtothegreatchimney-piece，whereshestoodlookingdownatthefire。
　　`Speakthetruth，youingrate！'criedMissHavisham，passionatelystrikingherstickuponthefloor；`youaretiredofme。'
　　Estellalookedatherwithperfectcomposure，andagainlookeddownatthefire。Hergracefulfigureandherbeautifulfaceexpressedaself-possessedindifferencetothewildheatoftheother，thatwasalmostcruel。
　　`Youstockandstone！'exclaimedMissHavisham。`Youcold，coldheart！'
　　`What？'saidEstella，preservingherattitudeofindifferenceassheleanedagainstthegreatchimney-pieceandonlymovinghereyes；`doyoureproachmeforbeingcold？You？'
　　`Areyounot？'wasthefierceretort。
　　`Youshouldknow，'saidEstella。`Iamwhatyouhavemademe。Takeallthepraise，takealltheblame；takeallthesuccess，takeallthefailure；
　　inshort，takeme。'
　　`O，lookather，lookather！'criedMissHavisham，bitterly；`Lookather，sohardandthankless，onthehearthwhereshewasreared！WhereItookherintothiswretchedbreastwhenitwasfirstbleedingfromitsstabs，andwhereIhavelavishedyearsoftendernessuponher！'
　　`AtleastIwasnopartytothecompact，'saidEstella，`forifIcouldwalkandspeak，whenitwasmade，itwasasmuchasIcoulddo。Butwhatwouldyouhave？Youhavebeenverygoodtome，andIoweeverythingtoyou。Whatwouldyouhave？'
　　`Love，'repliedtheother。
　　`Youhaveit。'
　　`Ihavenot，'saidMissHavisham。
　　`Motherbyadoption，'retortedEstella，neverdepartingfromtheeasygraceofherattitude，neverraisinghervoiceastheotherdid，neveryieldingeithertoangerortenderness，`Motherbyadoption，IhavesaidthatIoweeverythingtoyou。AllIpossessisfreelyyours。Allthatyouhavegivenme，isatyourcommandtohaveagain。Beyondthat，Ihavenothing。
　　Andifyouaskmetogiveyouwhatyounevergaveme，mygratitudeanddutycannotdoimpossibilities。'
　　`DidInevergiveherlove！'criedMissHavisham，turningwildlytome。`DidInevergiveheraburninglove，inseparablefromjealousyatalltimes，andfromsharppain，whileshespeaksthustome！Lethercallmemad，lethercallmemad！'
　　`WhyshouldIcallyoumad，'returnedEstella，`I，ofallpeople？Doesanyonelive，whoknowswhatsetpurposesyouhave，halfaswellasIdo？
　　Doesanyonelive，whoknowswhatasteadymemoryyouhave，halfaswellasIdo？Iwhohavesatonthissamehearthonthelittlestoolthatisevennowbesideyouthere，learningyourlessonsandlookingupintoyourface，whenyourfacewasstrangeandfrightenedme！'
　　`Soonforgotten！'moanedMissHavisham。`Timessoonforgotten！'
　　`No，notforgotten，'retortedEstella。`Notforgotten，buttreasuredupinmymemory。Whenhaveyoufoundmefalsetoyourteaching？Whenhaveyoufoundmeunmindfulofyourlessons？Whenhaveyoufoundmegivingadmissionhere，'shetouchedherbosomwithherhand，`toanythingthatyouexcluded？
　　Bejusttome。'
　　`Soproud，soproud！'moanedMissHavisham，pushingawayhergreyhairwithbothherhands。
　　`Whotaughtmetobeproud？'returnedEstella。`WhopraisedmewhenIlearntmylesson？'
　　`Sohard，sohard！'moanedMissHavisham，withherformeraction。
　　`Whotaughtmetobehard？'returnedEstella。`WhopraisedmewhenI
　　learntmylesson？'
　　`Buttobeproudandhardtome！'MissHavishamquiteshrieked，asshestretchedoutherarms。`Estella，Estella，Estella，tobeproudandhardtome！'
　　Estellalookedatherforamomentwithakindofcalmwonder，butwasnototherwisedisturbed；whenthemomentwaspast，shelookeddownatthefireagain。
　　`Icannotthink，'saidEstella，raisinghereyesafterasilence`whyyoushouldbesounreasonablewhenIcometoseeyouafteraseparation。
　　Ihaveneverforgottenyourwrongsandtheircauses。Ihaveneverbeenunfaithfultoyouoryourschooling。IhavenevershownanyweaknessthatIcanchargemyselfwith。'
　　`Woulditbeweaknesstoreturnmylove？'exclaimedMissHavisham。`Butyes，yes，shewouldcallitso！'
　　`Ibegintothink，'saidEstella，inamusingway，afteranothermomentofcalmwonder，`thatIalmostunderstandhowthiscomesabout。Ifyouhadbroughtupyouradopteddaughterwhollyinthedarkconfinementoftheserooms，andhadneverletherknowthattherewassuchathingasthedaylightbywhichshehasneveronceseenyourface-ifyouhaddonethat，andthen，forapurposehadwantedhertounderstandthedaylightandknowallaboutit，youwouldhavebeendisappointedandangry？'
　　MissHavisham，withherheadinherhands，satmakingalowmoaning，andswayingherselfonherchair，butgavenoanswer。
　　`Or，'saidEstella，`-whichisanearercase-ifyouhadtaughther，fromthedawnofherintelligence，withyourutmostenergyandmight，thattherewassuchathingasdaylight，butthatitwasmadetobeherenemyanddestroyer，andshemustalwaysturnagainstit，forithadblightedyouandwouldelseblighther；-ifyouhaddonethis，andthen，forapurpose，hadwantedhertotakenaturallytothedaylightandshecouldnotdoit，youwouldhavebeendisappointedandangry？'
　　MissHavishamsatlisteningoritseemedso，forIcouldnotseeherface，butstillmadenoanswer。
　　`So，'saidEstella，`ImustbetakenasIhavebeenmade。Thesuccessisnotmine，thefailureisnotmine，butthetwotogethermakeme。'
　　MissHavishamhadsettleddown，Ihardlyknewhow，uponthefloor，amongthefadedbridalrelicswithwhichitwasstrewn。Itookadvantageofthemoment-Ihadsoughtonefromthefirst-toleavetheroom，afterbeseechingEstella'sattentiontoher，withamovementofmyhand。WhenIleft，Estellawasyetstandingbythegreatchimney-piece，justasshehadstoodthroughout。
　　MissHavisham'sgreyhairwasalladriftupontheground，amongtheotherbridalwrecks，andwasamiserablesighttosee。
　　ItwaswithadepressedheartthatIwalkedinthestarlightforanhourandmore，aboutthecourt-yard，andaboutthebrewery，andabouttheruinedgarden。WhenIatlasttookcouragetoreturntotheroom，IfoundEstellasittingatMissHavisham'sknee，takingupsomestitchesinoneofthoseoldarticlesofdressthatweredroppingtopieces，andofwhichIhaveoftenbeenremindedsincebythefadedtattersofoldbannersthatIhaveseenhangingupincathedrals。Afterwards，EstellaandIplayedatcards，asofyore-onlywewereskilfulnow，andplayedFrenchgames-andsotheeveningworeaway，andIwenttobed。
　　Ilayinthatseparatebuildingacrossthecourt-yard。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverlaindowntorestinSatisHouse，andsleeprefusedtocomenearme。AthousandMissHavishamshauntedme。Shewasonthissideofmypillow，onthat，attheheadofthebed，atthefoot，behindthehalf-openeddoorofthedressing-room，inthedressing-room，intheroomoverhead，intheroombeneath-everywhere。Atlast，whenthenightwasslowtocreepontowardstwoo'clock，IfeltthatIabsolutelycouldnolongerbeartheplaceasaplacetoliedownin，andthatImustgetup。
　　Ithereforegotupandputonmyclothes，andwentoutacrosstheyardintothelongstonepassage，designingtogaintheoutercourt-yardandwalkthereforthereliefofmymind。But，IwasnosoonerinthepassagethanIextinguishedmycandle；for，IsawMissHavishamgoingalongitinaghostlymanner，makingalowcry。Ifollowedheratadistance，andsawhergoupthestaircase。Shecarriedabarecandleinherhand，whichshehadprobablytakenfromoneofthesconcesinherownroom，andwasamostunearthlyobjectbyitslight。Standingatthebottomofthestaircase，Ifeltthemildewedairofthefeast-chamber，withoutseeingheropenthedoor，andIheardherwalkingthere，andsoacrossintoherownroom，andsoacrossagainintothat，neverceasingthelowcry。Afteratime，Itriedinthedarkbothtogetout，andtogoback，butIcoulddoneitheruntilsomestreaksofdaystrayedinandshowedmewheretolaymyhands。Duringthewholeinterval，wheneverIwenttothebottomofthestaircase，Iheardherfootstep，sawherlightpassabove，andheardherceaselesslowcry。
　　Beforeweleftnextday，therewasnorevivalofthedifferencebetweenherandEstella，norwasiteverrevivedonanysimilaroccasion；andtherewerefoursimilaroccasions，tothebestofmyremembrance。Nor，didMissHavisham'smannertowardsEstellainanywisechange，exceptthatIbelievedittohavesomethinglikefearinfusedamongitsformercharacteristics。
　　Itisimpossibletoturnthisleafofmylife，withoutputtingBentleyDrummle'snameuponit；orIwould，verygladly。
　　OnacertainoccasionwhentheFincheswereassembledinforce，andwhengoodfeelingwasbeingpromotedintheusualmannerbynobody'sagreeingwithanybodyelse，thepresidingFinchcalledtheGrovetoorder，forasmuchasMrDrummlehadnotyettoastedalady；which，accordingtothesolemnconstitutionofthesociety，itwasthebrute'sturntodothatday。I
　　thoughtIsawhimleerinanuglywayatmewhilethedecantersweregoinground，butastherewasnolovelostbetweenus，thatmighteasilybe。
　　Whatwasmyindignantsurprisewhenhecalleduponthecompanytopledgehimto`Estella！'
　　`Estellawho？'saidI。
　　`Neveryoumind，'retortedDrummle。
　　`Estellaofwhere？'saidI。`Youareboundtosayofwhere。'Whichhewas，asaFinch。
　　`OfRichmond，gentlemen，'saidDrummle，puttingmeoutofthequestion，`andapeerlessbeauty。'
　　Muchheknewaboutpeerlessbeauties，ameanmiserableidiot！IwhisperedHerbert。
　　`Iknowthatlady，'saidHerbert，acrossthetable，whenthetoasthadbeenhonoured。
　　`Doyou？'saidDrummle。
　　`AndsodoI，'Iadded，withascarletface。
　　`Doyou？'saidDrummle。`Oh，Lord！'
　　Thiswastheonlyretort-exceptglassorcrockery-thattheheavycreaturewascapableofmaking；but，Ibecameashighlyincensedbyitasifithadbeenbarbedwithwit，andIimmediatelyroseinmyplaceandsaidthatIcouldnotbutregarditasbeinglikethehonourableFinch'simpudencetocomedowntothatGrove-wealwaystalkedaboutcomingdowntothatGrove，asaneatParliamentaryturnofexpression-downtothatGrove，proposingaladyofwhomheknewnothing。MrDrummleuponthis，startingup，demandedwhatImeantbythat？Whereupon，ImadehimtheextremereplythatIbelievedheknewwhereIwastobefound。
　　WhetheritwaspossibleinaChristiancountrytogetonwithoutblood，afterthis，wasaquestiononwhichtheFinchesweredivided。Thedebateuponitgrewsolively，indeed，thatatleastsixmorehonourablememberstoldsixmore，duringthediscussion，thattheybelievedtheyknewwheretheyweretobefound。However，itwasdecidedatlasttheGrovebeingaCourtofHonourthatifMrDrummlewouldbringneversoslightacertificatefromthelady，importingthathehadthehonourofheracquaintance，MrPipmustexpresshisregret，asagentlemanandaFinch，for`havingbeenbetrayedintoawarmthwhich。'Nextdaywasappointedfortheproductionlestourhonourshouldtakecoldfromdelay，andnextdayDrummleappearedwithapolitelittleavowalinEstella'shand，thatshehadhadthehonourofdancingwithhimseveraltimes。ThisleftmenocoursebuttoregretthatIhadbeen`betrayedintoawarmthwhich，'
　　andonthewholetorepudiate，asuntenable，theideathatIwastobefoundanywhere。DrummleandIthensatsnortingatoneanotherforanhour，whiletheGroveengagedinindiscriminatecontradiction，andfinallythepromotionofgoodfeelingwasdeclaredtohavegoneaheadatanamazingrate。
　　Itellthislightly，butitwasnolightthingtome。For，IcannotadequatelyexpresswhatpainitgavemetothinkthatEstellashouldshowanyfavourtoacontemptible，clumsy，sulkybooby，soveryfarbelowtheaverage。Tothepresentmoment，Ibelieveittohavebeenreferabletosomepurefireofgenerosityanddisinterestednessinmyloveforher，thatIcouldnotendurethethoughtofherstoopingtothathound。NodoubtIshouldhavebeenmiserablewhomsoevershehadfavoured；butaworthierobjectwouldhavecausedmeadifferentkindanddegreesofdistress。
　　Itwaseasyformetofindout，andIdidsoonfindout，thatDrummlehadbeguntofollowherclosely，andthatsheallowedhimtodoit。Alittlewhile，andhewasalwaysinpursuitofher，andheandIcrossedoneanothereveryday。Heheldon，inadullpersistentway，andEstellaheldhimon；
　　nowwithencouragement，nowwithdiscouragement，nowalmostflatteringhim，nowopenlydespisinghim，nowknowinghimverywell，nowscarcelyrememberingwhohewas。
　　TheSpider，asMrJaggershadcalledhim，wasusedtolyinginwait，however，andhadthepatienceofhistribe。Addedtothat，hehadablockheadconfidenceinhismoneyandinhisfamilygreatness，whichsometimesdidhimgoodservice-almosttakingtheplaceofconcentrationanddeterminedpurpose。So，theSpider，doggedlywatchingEstella，outwatchedmanybrighterinsects，andwouldoftenuncoilhimselfanddropattherightnickoftime。
　　AtacertainAssemblyBallatRichmondthereusedtobeAssemblyBallsatmostplacesthen，whereEstellahadoutshoneallotherbeauties，thisblunderingDrummlesohungabouther，andwithsomuchtolerationonherpart，thatIresolvedtospeaktoherconcerninghim。Itookthenextopportunity:
　　whichwaswhenshewaswaitingforMrsBrandleytotakeherhome，andwassittingapartamongsomeflowers，readytogo。Iwaswithher，forIalmostalwaysaccompaniedthemtoandfromsuchplaces。
　　`Areyoutired，Estella？'
　　`Rather，Pip。'
　　`Youshouldbe。'
　　`Sayrather，Ishouldnotbe；forIhavemylettertoSatisHousetowrite，beforeIgotosleep。'
　　`Recountingto-night'striumph？'saidI。`Surelyaverypoorone，Estella。'
　　`Whatdoyoumean？Ididn'tknowtherehadbeenany。'
　　`Estella，'saidI，`dolookatthatfellowinthecorneryonder，whoislookingoverhereatus。'
　　`WhyshouldIlookathim？'returnedEstella，withhereyesonmeinstead。
　　`Whatisthereinthatfellowinthecorneryonder-touseyourwords-thatIneedlookat？'
　　`Indeed，thatistheveryquestionIwanttoaskyou，'saidI。`Forhehasbeenhoveringaboutyouallnight。'
　　`Moths，andallsortsofuglycreatures，'repliedEstella，withaglancetowardshim，`hoveraboutalightedcandle。Canthecandlehelpit？'
　　`No，'Ireturned；`butcannottheEstellahelpit？'
　　`Well！'saidshe，laughing，afteramoment，`perhaps。Yes。Anythingyoulike。'
　　`But，Estella，dohearmespeak。ItmakesmewretchedthatyoushouldencourageamansogenerallydespisedasDrummle。Youknowheisdespised。'
　　`Well？'saidshe。
　　`Youknowheisasungainlywithin，aswithout。Adeficient，illtempered，lowering，stupidfellow。'
　　`Well？'saidshe。
　　`Youknowhehasnothingtorecommendhimbutmoney，andaridiculousrollofaddle-headedpredecessors；now，don'tyou？'
　　`Well？'saidsheagain；andeachtimeshesaidit，sheopenedherlovelyeyesthewider。
　　Toovercomethedifficultyofgettingpastthatmonosyllable，Itookitfromher，andsaid，repeatingitwithemphasis，`Well！Then，thatiswhyitmakesmewretched。'
　　Now，ifIcouldhavebelievedthatshefavouredDrummlewithanyideaofmakingme-me-wretched，Ishouldhavebeeninbetterheartaboutit；butinthathabitualwayofhers，sheputmesoentirelyoutofthequestion，thatIcouldbelievenothingofthekind。
　　`Pip，'saidEstella，castingherglanceovertheroom，`don'tbefoolishaboutitseffectonyou。Itmayhaveitseffectonothers，andmaybemeanttohave。It'snotworthdiscussing。'
　　`Yesitis，'saidI，`becauseIcannotbearthatpeopleshouldsay，"shethrowsawayhergracesandattractionsonamereboor，thelowestinthecrowd。"'
　　`Icanbearit，'saidEstella。
　　`Oh！don'tbesoproud，Estella，andsoinflexible。'
　　`Callsmeproudandinflexibleinthisbreath！'saidEstella，openingherhands。`Andinhislastbreathreproachedmeforstoopingtoaboor！'
　　`Thereisnodoubtyoudo，'saidI，somethinghurriedly，`forIhaveseenyougivehimlooksandsmilesthisverynight，suchasyounevergiveto-me。'
　　`Doyouwantmethen，'saidEstella，turningsuddenlywithafixedandserious，ifnotangry，look，`todeceiveandentrapyou？'
　　`Doyoudeceiveandentraphim，Estella？'
　　`Yes，andmanyothers-allofthembutyou。HereisMrsBrandley。I'llsaynomore。'
　　AndnowthatIhavegiventheonechaptertothethemethatsofilledmyheart，andsooftenmadeitacheandacheagain，Ipasson，unhindered，totheeventthathadimpendedovermelongeryet；theeventthathadbeguntobepreparedfor，beforeIknewthattheworldheldEstella，andinthedayswhenherbabyintelligencewasreceivingitsfirstdistortionsfromMissHavisham'swastinghands。
　　IntheEasternstory，theheavyslabthatwastofallonthebedofstateintheflushofconquestwasslowlywroughtoutofthequarry，thetunnelfortheropetoholditinitsplacewasslowlycarriedthroughtheleaguesofrock，theslabwasslowlyraisedandfittedintheroof，theropewasrovetoitandslowlytakenthroughthemilesofhollowtothegreatironring。Allbeingmadereadywithmuchlabour，andthehourcome，thesultanwasarousedinthedeadofthenight，andthesharpenedaxethatwastosevertheropefromthegreatironringwasputintohishand，andhestruckwithit，andtheropepartedandrushedaway，andtheceilingfell。So，inmycase；allthework，nearandafar，thattendedtotheend，hadbeenaccomplished；andinaninstanttheblowwasstruck，andtheroofofmystrongholddroppeduponme。
　　Chapter39
　　IWASthree-and-twentyyearsofage。NotanotherwordhadIheardtoenlightenmeonthesubjectofmyexpectations，andmytwenty-thirdbirthdaywasaweekgone。WehadleftBarnard'sInnmorethanayear，andlivedintheTemple。OurchamberswereinGarden-court，downbytheriver。
　　MrPocketandIhadforsometimepartedcompanyastoouroriginalrelations，thoughwecontinuedonthebesttermsNotwithstandingmyinabilitytosettletoanything-whichIhopearoseoutoftherestlessandincompletetenureonwhichIheldmymeans-Ihadatasteforreading，andreadregularlysomanyhoursaday。ThatmatterofHerbert'swasstillprogressing，andeverythingwithmewasasIhavebroughtitdowntothecloseofthelastprecedingchapter。
　　BusinesshadtakenHerbertonajourneytoMarseilles。Iwasalone，andhadadullsenseofbeingalone。Dispiritedandanxious，longhopingthatto-morrowornextweekwouldclearmyway，andlongdisappointed，Isadlymissedthecheerfulfaceandreadyresponseofmyfriend。
　　Itwaswretchedweather；stormyandwet，stormyandwet；andmud，mud，mud，deepinallthestreets。Dayafterday，avastheavyveilhadbeendrivingoverLondonfromtheEast，anditdrovestill，asifintheEasttherewereanEternityofcloudandwind。Sofurioushadbeenthegusts，thathighbuildingsintownhadhadtheleadstrippedofftheirroofs；
　　andinthecountry，treeshadbeentornup，andsailsofwindmillscarriedaway；andgloomyaccountshadcomeinfromthecoast，ofshipwreckanddeath。Violentblastsofrainhadaccompaniedtheseragesofwind，andthedayjustclosedasIsatdowntoreadhadbeentheworstofall。
　　AlterationshavebeenmadeinthatpartoftheTemplesincethattime，andithasnotnowsolonelyacharacterasithadthen，norisitsoexposedtotheriver。Welivedatthetopofthelasthouse，andthewindrushinguptherivershookthehousethatnight，likedischargesofcannon，orbreakingsofasea。Whentheraincamewithitanddashedagainstthewindows，Ithought，raisingmyeyestothemastheyrocked，thatImighthavefanciedmyselfinastorm-beatenlight-house。Occasionally，thesmokecamerollingdownthechimneyasthoughitcouldnotbeartogooutintosuchanight；
　　andwhenIsetthedoorsopenandlookeddownthestaircase，thestaircaselampswereblownout；andwhenIshadedmyfacewithmyhandsandlookedthroughtheblackwindowsopeningthemeversolittle，wasoutofthequestionintheteethofsuchwindandrainIsawthatthelampsinthecourtwereblownout，andthatthelampsonthebridgesandtheshorewereshuddering，andthatthecoalfiresinbargesontheriverwerebeingcarriedawaybeforethewindlikered-hotsplashesintherain。
　　Ireadwithmywatchuponthetable，purposingtoclosemybookateleveno'clock。AsIshutit，SaintPaul's，andallthemanychurch-clocksintheCity-someleading，someaccompanying，somefollowing-struckthathour。Thesoundwascuriouslyflawedbythewind；andIwaslistening，andthinkinghowthewindassailedandtoreit，whenIheardafootsteponthestair。
　　Whatnervousfollymademestart，andawfullyconnectitwiththefootstepofmydeadsister，mattersnot。Itwaspastinamoment，andIlistenedagain，andheardthefootstepstumbleincomingon。Rememberingthen，thatthestaircase-lightswereblownout，Itookupmyreading-lampandwentouttothestair-head。Whoeverwasbelowhadstoppedonseeingmylamp，forallwasquiet。
　　`Thereissomeonedownthere，istherenot？'Icalledout，lookingdown。
　　`Yes，'saidavoicefromthedarknessbeneath。
　　`Whatfloordoyouwant？'
　　`Thetop。MrPip。'
　　`Thatismyname-Thereisnothingthematter？'
　　`Nothingthematter，'returnedthevoice。Andthemancameon。
　　Istoodwithmylampheldoutoverthestair-rail，andhecameslowlywithinitslight。Itwasashadedlamp，toshineuponabook，anditscircleoflightwasverycontracted；sothathewasinitforamereinstant，andthenoutofit。Intheinstant，Ihadseenafacethatwasstrangetome，lookingupwithanincomprehensibleairofbeingtouchedandpleasedbythesightofme。
　　Movingthelampasthemanmoved，Imadeoutthathewassubstantiallydressed，butroughly；likeavoyagerbysea。Thathehadlongiron-greyhair。Thathisagewasaboutsixty。Thathewasamuscularman，strongonhislegs，andthathewasbrownedandhardenedbyexposuretoweather。
　　Asheascendedthelaststairortwo，andthelightofmylampincludedusboth，Isaw，withastupidkindofamazement，thathewasholdingoutbothhishandstome。
　　`Praywhatisyourbusiness？'Iaskedhim。
　　`Mybusiness？'herepeated，pausing。`Ah！Yes。Iwillexplainmybusiness，byyourleave。'
　　`Doyouwishtocomein？'
　　`Yes，'hereplied；`Iwishtocomein，Master。'
　　Ihadaskedhimthequestioninhospitablyenough，forIresentedthesortofbrightandgratifiedrecognitionthatstillshoneinhisface。
　　Iresentedit，becauseitseemedtoimplythatheexpectedmetorespondtoit。But，ItookhimintotheroomIhadjustleft，and，havingsetthelamponthetable，askedhimascivillyasIcould，toexplainhimself。
　　Helookedabouthimwiththestrangestair-anairofwonderingpleasure，asifhehadsomepartinthethingsheadmired-andhepulledoffaroughoutercoat，andhishat。Then，Isawthathisheadwasfurrowedandbald，andthatthelongiron-greyhairgrewonlyonitssides。But，Isawnothingthatintheleastexplainedhim。Onthecontrary，Isawhimnextmoment，oncemoreholdingoutbothhishandstome。
　　`Whatdoyoumean？'saidI，halfsuspectinghimtobemad。
　　Hestoppedinhislookingatme，andslowlyrubbedhisrighthandoverhishead。`It'sdisapintingtoaman，'hesaid，inacoarsebrokenvoice，`arterhavinglookedfor'ardsodistant，andcomesofur；butyou'renottoblameforthat-neitheronusistoblameforthat。I'llspeakinhalfaminute。Givemehalfaminute，please。'
　　Hesatdownonachairthatstoodbeforethefire，andcoveredhisforeheadwithhislargebrownveinoushands。Ilookedathimattentivelythen，andrecoiledalittlefromhim；butIdidnotknowhim。
　　`There'snoonenigh，'saidhe，lookingoverhisshoulder；`isthere？'
　　`Whydoyou，astrangercomingintomyroomsatthistimeofthenight，askthatquestion？'saidI。
　　`You'reagameone，'hereturned，shakinghisheadatmewithadeliberateaffection，atoncemostunintelligibleandmostexasperating；`I'mgladyou'vegrow'dup，agameone！Butdon'tcatchholdofme。You'dbesorryarterwardstohavedoneit。'
　　Irelinquishedtheintentionhehaddetected，forIknewhim！Evenyet，Icouldnotrecallasinglefeature，butIknewhim！Ifthewindandtherainhaddrivenawaytheinterveningyears，hadscatteredalltheinterveningobjects，hadsweptustothechurchyardwherewefirststoodfacetofaceonsuchdifferentlevels，IcouldnothaveknownmyconvictmoredistinctlythanIknewhimnowashesatinthechairbeforethefire。Noneedtotakeafilefromhispocketandshowittome；noneedtotakethehandkerchieffromhisneckandtwistitroundhishead；noneedtohughimselfwithbothhisarms，andtakeashiveringturnacrosstheroom，lookingbackatmeforrecognition。Iknewhimbeforehegavemeoneofthoseaids，though，amomentbefore，Ihadnotbeenconsciousofremotelysuspectinghisidentity。
　　HecamebacktowhereIstood，andagainheldoutbothhishands。Notknowingwhattodo-for，inmyastonishmentIhadlostmyself-possession-Ireluctantlygavehimmyhands。Hegraspedthemheartily，raisedthemtohislips，kissedthem，andstillheldthem。
　　`Youactednoble，myboy，'saidhe。`Noble，Pip！AndIhaveneverforgotit！'
　　Atachangeinhismannerasifhewereevengoingtoembraceme，I
　　laidahanduponhisbreastandputhimaway。
　　`Stay！'saidI。`Keepoff！IfyouaregratefultomeforwhatIdidwhenIwasalittlechild，Ihopeyouhaveshownyourgratitudebymendingyourwayoflife。Ifyouhavecomeheretothankme，itwasnotnecessary。
　　Still，howeveryouhavefoundmeout，theremustbesomethinggoodinthefeelingthathasbroughtyouhere，andIwillnotrepulseyou；butsurelyyoumustunderstandthat-I——'
　　Myattentionwassoattractedbythesingularityofhisfixedlookatme，thatthewordsdiedawayonmytongue。
　　`Youwasasaying，'heobserved，whenwehadconfrontedoneanotherinsilence，`thatsurelyImustunderstand。What，surelymustIunderstand？'
　　`ThatIcannotwishtorenewthatchanceintercoursewithyouoflongago，underthesedifferentcircumstances。Iamgladtobelieveyouhaverepentedandrecoveredyourself。Iamgladtotellyouso。Iamgladthat，thinkingIdeservetobethanked，youhavecometothankme。Butourwaysaredifferentways，nonetheless。Youarewet，andyoulookweary。Willyoudrinksomethingbeforeyougo？'
　　Hehadreplacedhisneckerchiefloosely，andhadstood，keenlyobservantofme，bitingalongendofit。`Ithink，'heanswered，stillwiththeendathismouthandstillobservantofme，`thatIwilldrinkI
　　thankyouaforeIgo。'
　　Therewasatrayreadyonaside-table。Ibroughtittothetablenearthefire，andaskedhimwhathewouldhave？Hetouchedoneofthebottleswithoutlookingatitorspeaking，andImadehimsomehotrum-and-water。
　　ItriedtokeepmyhandsteadywhileIdidso，buthislookatmeasheleanedbackinhischairwiththelongdraggledendofhisneckerchiefbetweenhisteeth-evidentlyforgotten-mademyhandverydifficulttomaster。WhenatlastIputtheglasstohim，Isawwithamazementthathiseyeswerefulloftears。
　　UptothistimeIhadremainedstanding，nottodisguisethatIwishedhimgone。ButIwassoftenedbythesoftenedaspectoftheman，andfeltatouchofreproach。`Ihope，'saidI，hurriedlyputtingsomethingintoaglassformyself，anddrawingachairtothetable，`thatyouwillnotthinkIspokeharshlytoyoujustnow。Ihadnointentionofdoingit，andIamsorryforitifIdid。Iwishyouwell，andhappy！'
　　AsIputmyglasstomylips，heglancedwithsurpriseattheendofhisneckerchief，droppingfromhismouthwhenheopenedit，andstretchedouthishand。Igavehimmine，andthenhedrank，anddrewhissleeveacrosshiseyesandforehead。
　　`Howareyouliving？'Iaskedhim。
　　`I'vebeenasheep-farmer，stock-breeder，othertradesbesides，awayinthenewworld，'saidhe:`manyathousandmileofstormywaterofffromthis。'
　　`Ihopeyouhavedonewell？'
　　`I'vedonewonderfullywell。There'sotherswentoutalongermeashasdonewelltoo，butnomanhasdonenighaswellasme。I'mfamousforit。'
　　`Iamgladtohearit。'
　　`Ihopetohearyousayso，mydearboy。'
　　Withoutstoppingtotrytounderstandthosewordsorthetoneinwhichtheywerespoken，Iturnedofftoapointthathadjustcomeintomymind。
　　`Haveyoueverseenamessengeryouoncesenttome，'Iinquired，`sinceheundertookthattrust？'
　　`Neverseteyesuponhim。Iwarn'tlikelytoit。'
　　`Hecamefaithfully，andhebroughtmethetwoone-poundnotes。Iwasapoorboythen，asyouknow，andtoapoorboytheywerealittlefortune。
　　But，likeyou，Ihavedonewellsince，andyoumustletmepaythemback。
　　Youcanputthemtosomeotherpoorboy'suse。'Itookoutmypurse。
　　HewatchedmeasIlaidmypurseuponthetableandopenedit，andhewatchedmeasIseparatedtwoone-poundnotesfromitscontents。Theywerecleanandnew，andIspreadthemoutandhandedthemovertohim。Stillwatchingme，helaidthemoneupontheother，foldedthemlong-wise，gavethematwist，setfiretothematthelamp，anddroppedtheashesintothetray。
　　`MayImakesobold，'hesaidthen，withasmilethatwaslikeafrown，andwithafrownthatwaslikeasmile，`asaskyouhowyouhavedonewell，sinceyouandmewasoutonthemloneshiveringmarshes？'
　　`How？'
　　`Ah！'
　　Heemptiedhisglass，gotup，andstoodatthesideofthefire，withhisheavybrownhandonthemantelshelf。Heputafootuptothebars，todryandwarmit，andthewetbootbegantosteam；but，heneitherlookedatit，noratthefire，butsteadilylookedatme。ItwasonlynowthatIbegantotremble。
　　Whenmylipshadparted，andhadshapedsomewordsthatwerewithoutsound，IforcedmyselftotellhimthoughIcouldnotdoitdistinctly，thatIhadbeenchosentosucceedtosomeproperty。
　　`Mightamerewarmintaskwhatproperty？'saidhe。
　　Ifaltered，`Idon'tknow。'
　　`Mightamerewarmintaskwhoseproperty？'saidhe。
　　Ifalteredagain，`Idon'tknow。'
　　`CouldImakeaguess，Iwonder，'saidtheConvict，`atyourincomesinceyoucomeofage！Astothefirstfigurenow。Five？'
　　Withmyheartbeatinglikeaheavyhammerofdisorderedaction，Iroseoutofmychair，andstoodwithmyhanduponthebackofit，lookingwildlyathim。
　　`Concerningaguardian，'hewenton。`Thereoughttohavebeensomeguardian，orsuch-like，whilesyouwasaminor。Somelawyer，maybe。Astothefirstletterofthatlawyer'snamenow。WoulditbeJ？'
　　Allthetruthofmypositioncameflashingonme；anditsdisappointments，dangers，disgraces，consequencesofallkinds，rushedininsuchamultitudethatIwasbornedownbythemandhadtostruggleforeverybreathIdrew。
　　`Putit，'heresumed，`astheemployerofthatlawyerwhosenamebegunwithaJ，andmightbeJaggers-putitashehadcomeoverseatoPortsmouth，andhadlandedthere，andhadwantedtocomeontoyou。"However，youhavefoundmeout，"yousaysjustnow。Well！However，didIfindyouout？Why，IwrotefromPortsmouthtoapersoninLondon，forparticularsofyouraddress。Thatperson'sname？Why，Wemmick。'
　　Icouldnothavespokenoneword，thoughithadbeentosavemylife。
　　Istood，withahandonthechair-backandahandonmybreast，whereI
　　seemedtobesuffocating-Istoodso，lookingwildlyathim，untilIgraspedatthechair，whentheroombegantosurgeandturn。Hecaughtme，drewmetothesofa，putmeupagainstthecushions，andbentononekneebeforeme:bringingthefacethatInowwellremembered，andthatIshudderedat，veryneartomine。
　　`Yes，Pip，dearboy，I'vemadeagentlemanonyou！It'smewothasdoneit！Isworethattime，sureaseverIearnedaguinea，thatguineashouldgotoyou。Isworearterwards，sureaseverIspec'latedandgotrich，youshouldgetrich。Ilivedrough，thatyoushouldlivesmooth；Iworkedhard，thatyoushouldbeabovework。Whatodds，dearboy？DoItellit，furyoutofeelaobligation？Notabit。Itellit，furyoutoknowasthattherehunteddunghilldogwotyoukeplifein，gothisheadsohighthathecouldmakeagentleman-and，Pip，you'rehim！'
　　TheabhorrenceinwhichIheldtheman，thedreadIhadofhim，therepugnancewithwhichIshrankfromhim，couldnothavebeenexceededifhehadbeensometerriblebeast。
　　`Look'eehere，Pip。I'myoursecondfather。You'remyson-moretomenoranyson。I'veputawaymoney，onlyforyoutospend。WhenIwasahired-outshepherdinasolitaryhut，notseeingnofacesbutfacesofsheeptillIhalfforgotwotmen'sandwomen'sfaceswoslike，Iseeyourn。
　　IdropsmyknifemanyatimeinthathutwhenIwasaeatingmydinnerormysupper，andIsays，"Here'stheboyagain，alookingatmewhilesIeatsanddrinks！"Iseeyouthereamanytimes，asplainaseverIseeyouonthemmistymarshes。"Lordstrikemedead！"Isayseachtime-andIgoesoutintheairtosayitundertheopenheavens-"butwot，ifI
　　getslibertyandmoney，I'llmakethatboyagentleman！"AndIdoneit。
　　Why，lookatyou，dearboy！Lookattheseherelodgingso'yourn，fitforalord！Alord？Ah！Youshallshowmoneywithlordsforwagers，andbeat'
　　em！'
　　Inhisheatandtriumph，andinhisknowledgethatIhadbeennearlyfainting，hedidnotremarkonmyreceptionofallthis。ItwastheonegrainofreliefIhad。
　　`Look'eehere！'hewenton，takingmywatchoutofmypocket，andturningtowardshimaringonmyfinger，whileIrecoiledfromhistouchasifhehadbeenasnake，`agold'unandabeauty:that'sagentleman's，Ihope！Adiamondallsetroundwithrubies；that'sagentleman's，Ihope！Lookatyourlinen；fineandbeautiful！Lookatyourclothes；betterain'ttobegot！Andyourbookstoo，'turninghiseyesroundtheroom，`mountingup，ontheirshelves，byhundreds！Andyouread'em；don'tyou？
　　Iseeyou'dbeenareadingof'emwhenIcomein。Ha，ha，ha！Youshallread'emtome，dearboy！Andifthey'reinforeignlanguageswotIdon'tunderstand，IshallbejustasproudasifIdid。'
　　Againhetookbothmyhandsandputthemtohislips，whilemybloodrancoldwithinme。
　　`Don'tyoumindtalking，Pip，'saidhe，afteragaindrawinghissleeveoverhiseyesandforehead，astheclickcameinhisthroatwhichIwellremembered-andhewasallthemorehorribletomethathewassomuchinearnest；`youcan'tdobetternorkeepquiet，dearboy。Youain'tlookedslowlyforwardtothisasIhave；youwosn'tpreparedforthis，asIwos。
　　Butdidn'tyouneverthinkitmightbeme？'
　　`Ono，no，no，'Ireturned，`Never，never！'
　　`Well，youseeitwosme，andsingle-handed。NeverasoulinitbutmyownselfandMrJaggers。'
　　`Wastherenooneelse？'Iasked。
　　`No，'saidhe，withaglanceofsurprise:`whoelseshouldtherebe？
　　And，dearboy，howgoodlookingyouhavegrowed！There'sbrighteyessomewheres-eh？Isn'ttherebrighteyessomewheres，wotyoulovethethoughtson？'
　　OEstella，Estella！
　　`Theyshallbeyourn，dearboy，ifmoneycanbuy'em。Notthatagentlemanlikeyou，sowellsetupasyou，can'twin'emoffofhisowngame；butmoneyshallbackyou！LetmefinishwotIwasatellingyou，dearboy。
　　Fromthattherehutandthattherehiringout，Igotmoneyleftmebymymasterwhichdied，andhadbeenthesameasme，andgotmylibertyandwentformyself。IneverysinglethingIwentfor，Iwentforyou。"Lordstrikeablightuponit，"Isays，woteveritwasIwentfor，"ifitain'tforhim！"Itallprosperedwonderful。AsIgiv'youtounderstandjustnow，I'mfamousforit。Itwasthemoneyleftme，andthegainsofthefirstfewyearwotIsenthometoMrJaggers-allforyou-whenhefirstcomearteryou，agreeabletomyletter。'
　　O，thathehadnevercome！Thathehadleftmeattheforge-farfromcontented，yet，bycomparisonhappy！
　　`Andthen，dearboy，itwasarecompensetome，look'eehere，toknowinsecretthatIwasmakingagentleman。ThebloodhorsesofthemcolonistsmightflingupthedustovermeasIwaswalking；whatdoIsay？Isaystomyself，"I'mmakingabettergentlemannoreveryou'llbe！"Whenoneof'emsaystoanother，"Hewasaconvict，afewyearago，andisaignorantcommonfellownow，forallhe'slucky，"whatdoIsay？Isaystomyself，"IfIain'tagentleman，noryetain'tgotnolearning，I'mtheownerofsuch。Allonyouownsstockandland；whichonyouownsabrought-upLondongentleman？"ThiswasIkepmyselfagoing。AndthiswayIheldsteadyaforemymindthatIwouldforcertaincomeonedayandseemyboy，andmakemyselfknowntohim，onhisownground。'
　　Helaidhishandonmyshoulder。IshudderedatthethoughtthatforanythingIknew，hishandmightbestainedwithblood。
　　`Itwarn'teasy，Pip，formetoleavethemparts，noryetitwarn'tsafe。ButIheldtoit，andtheharderitwas，thestrongerIheld，forIwasdetermined，andmymindfirmmadeup。AtlastIdoneit。Dearboy，Idoneit！'
　　Itriedtocollectmythoughts，butIwasstunned。Throughout，Ihadseemedtomyselftoattendmoretothewindandtherainthantohim；evennow，Icouldnotseparatehisvoicefromthosevoices，thoughthosewereloudandhiswassilent。
　　`Wherewillyouputme？'heasked，presently。`Imustbeputsomewheres，dearboy。'
　　`Tosleep？'saidI。
　　`Yes。Andtosleeplongandsound，'heanswered；`forI'vebeensea-tossedandsea-washed，monthsandmonths。'
　　`Myfriendandcompanion，'saidI，risingfromthesofa，`isabsent；
　　youmusthavehisroom。'
　　`Hewon'tcomebackto-morrow；willhe？'
　　`No，'saidI，answeringalmostmechanically，inspiteofmyutmostefforts；
　　`notto-morrow。'
　　`Because，look'eehere，dearboy，'hesaid，droppinghisvoice，andlayingalongfingeronmybreastinanimpressivemanner，`cautionisnecessary。'
　　`Howdoyoumean？Caution？'
　　`ByG-，it'sDeath！'
　　`What'sdeath？'
　　`Iwassentforlife。It'sdeathtocomeback。There'sbeenovermuchcomingbackoflateyears，andIshouldofacertaintybehangediftook。'
　　Nothingwasneededbutthis；thewretchedman，afterloadingwretchedmewithhisgoldandsilverchainsforyears，hadriskedhislifetocometome，andIhelditthereinmykeeping！IfIhadlovedhiminsteadofabhorringhim；ifIhadbeenattractedtohimbythestrongestadmirationandaffection，insteadofshrinkingfromhimwiththestrongestrepugnance；
　　itcouldhavebeennoworse。Onthecontrary，itwouldhavebeenbetter，forhispreservationwouldthenhavenaturallyandtenderlyaddressedmyheart。
　　Myfirstcarewastoclosetheshutters，sothatnolightmightbeseenfromwithout，andthentocloseandmakefastthedoors。WhileIdidso，hestoodatthetabledrinkingrumandeatingbiscuit；andwhenIsawhimthusengaged，Isawmyconvictonthemarshesathismealagain。Italmostseemedtomeasifhemuststoopdownpresently，tofileathisleg。
　　WhenIhadgoneintoHerbert'sroom，andhadshutoffanyothercommunicationbetweenitandthestaircasethanthroughtheroominwhichourconversationhadbeenheld，Iaskedhimifhewouldgotobed？Hesaidyes，butaskedmeforsomeofmy`gentleman'slinen'toputoninthemorning。Ibroughtitout，andlaiditreadyforhim，andmybloodagainrancoldwhenheagaintookmebybothhandstogivemegoodnight。
　　Igotawayfromhim，withoutknowinghowIdidit，andmendedthefireintheroomwherewehadbeentogether，andsatdownbyit，afraidtogotobed。Foranhourormore，Iremainedtoostunnedtothink；anditwasnotuntilIbegantothink，thatIbeganfullytoknowhowwreckedIwas，andhowtheshipinwhichIhadsailedwasgonetopieces。
　　MissHavisham'sintentionstowardsme，allameredream；Estellanotdesignedforme；IonlysufferedinSatisHouseasaconvenience，astingforthegreedyrelations，amodelwithamechanicalhearttopractiseonwhennootherpracticewasathand；thosewerethefirstsmartsIhad。
　　But，sharpestanddeepestpainofall-itwasfortheconvict，guiltyofIknewnotwhatcrimes，andliabletobetakenoutofthoseroomswhereIsatthinking，andhangedattheOldBaileydoor，thatIhaddesertedJoe。
　　IwouldnothavegonebacktoJoenow，IwouldnothavegonebacktoBiddynow，foranyconsideration:simply，Isuppose，becausemysenseofmyownworthlessconducttothemwasgreaterthaneveryconsideration。
　　NowisdomonearthcouldhavegivenmethecomfortthatIshouldhavederivedfromtheirsimplicityandfidelity；butIcouldnever，never，undowhatIhaddone。
　　Ineveryrageofwindandrushofrain，Iheardpursuers。Twice，Icouldhavesworntherewasaknockingandwhisperingattheouterdoor。Withthesefearsuponme，IbeganeithertoimagineorrecallthatIhadhadmysteriouswarningsofthisman'sapproach。That，forweeksgoneby，I
　　hadpassedfacesinthestreetswhichIhadthoughtlikehis。That，theselikenesseshadgrownmorenumerous，ashe，comingoverthesea，haddrawnnearer。That，hiswickedspirithadsomehowsentthesemessengerstomine，andthatnowonthisstormynighthewasasgoodashisword，andwithme。
　　CrowdingupwiththesereflectionscamethereflectionthatIhadseenhimwithmychildisheyestobeadesperatelyviolentman；thatIhadheardthatotherconvictreiteratethathehadtriedtomurderhim；thatIhadseenhimdownintheditchtearingandfightinglikeawildbeast。OutofsuchremembrancesIbroughtintothelightoffire，ahalf-formedterrorthatitmightnotbesafetobeshutuptherewithhiminthedeadofthewildsolitarynight。Thisdilateduntilitfilledtheroom，andimpelledmetotakeacandleandgoinandlookatmydreadfulburden。
　　Hehadrolledahandkerchiefroundhishead，andhisfacewassetandloweringinhissleep。Buthewasasleep，andquietlytoo，thoughhehadapistollyingonthepillow。Assuredofthis，Isoftlyremovedthekeytotheoutsideofhisdoor，andturneditonhimbeforeIagainsatdownbythefire。GraduallyIslippedfromthechairandlayonthefloor。WhenIawoke，withouthavingpartedinmysleepwiththeperceptionofmywretchedness，theclocksoftheEastwardchurcheswerestrikingfive，thecandleswerewastedout，thefirewasdead，andthewindandrainintensifiedthethickblackdarkness。
　　THISISTHEENDOFTHESECONDSTAGEOFPIP'SEXPECTATIONS。
　　Chapter40
　　ITwasfortunateformethatIhadtotakeprecautionstoensuresofarasIcouldthesafetyofmydreadedvisitor；for，thisthoughtpressingonmewhenIawoke，heldotherthoughtsinaconfusedconcourseatadistance。
　　Theimpossibilityofkeepinghimconcealedinthechamberswasself-evident。
　　Itcouldnotbedone，andtheattempttodoitwouldinevitablyengendersuspicion。True，IhadnoAvengerinmyservicenow，butIwaslookedafterbyaninflammatoryoldfemale，assistedbyananimatedrag-bagwhomshecalledherniece，andtokeeparoomsecretfromthemwouldbetoinvitecuriosityandexaggeration。Theybothhadweakeyes，whichIhadlongattributedtotheirchronicallylookinginatkeyholes，andtheywerealwaysathandwhennotwanted；indeedthatwastheironlyreliablequalitybesideslarceny。
　　Nottogetupamysterywiththesepeople，Iresolvedtoannounceinthemorningthatmyunclehadunexpectedlycomefromthecountry。
　　ThiscourseIdecidedonwhileIwasyetgropingaboutinthedarknessforthemeansofgettingalight。Notstumblingonthemeansafterall，IwasfaintogoouttotheadjacentLodgeandgetthewatchmantheretocomewithhislantern。Now，ingropingmywaydowntheblackstaircaseIfelloversomething，andthatsomethingwasamancrouchinginacorner。
　　AsthemanmadenoanswerwhenIaskedhimwhathedidthere，buteludedmytouchinsilence，IrantotheLodgeandurgedthewatchmantocomequickly:tellinghimoftheincidentonthewayback。Thewindbeingasfierceasever，wedidnotcaretoendangerthelightinthelanternbyrekindlingtheextinguishedlampsonthestaircase，butweexaminedthestaircasefromthebottomtothetopandfoundnoonethere。Itthenoccurredtomeaspossiblethatthemanmighthaveslippedintomyrooms；so，lightingmycandleatthewatchman's，andleavinghimstandingatthedoor，Iexaminedthemcarefully，includingtheroominwhichmydreadedguestlayasleep。
　　Allwasquiet，andassuredlynoothermanwasinthosechambers。
　　Ittroubledmethatthereshouldhavebeenalurkeronthestairs，onthatnightofallnightsintheyear，andIaskedthewatchman，onthechanceofelicitingsomehopefulexplanationasIhandedhimadramatthedoor，whetherhehadadmittedathisgateanygentlemanwhohadperceptiblybeendiningout？Yes，hesaid；atdifferenttimesofthenight，three。
　　OnelivedinFountainCourt，andtheothertwolivedintheLane，andhehadseenthemallgohome。Again，theonlyothermanwhodweltinthehouseofwhichmychambersformedapart，hadbeeninthecountryforsomeweeks；
　　andhecertainlyhadnotreturnedinthenight，becausewehadseenhisdoorwithhissealonitaswecameup-stairs。
　　`Thenightbeingsobad，sir，'saidthewatchman，ashegavemebackmyglass，`uncommonfewhavecomeinatmygate。BesidesthemthreegentlementhatIhavenamed，Idon'tcalltomindanothersinceabouteleveno'clock，whenastrangeraskedforyou。'
　　`Myuncle，'Imuttered。`Yes。'
　　`Yousawhim，sir？'
　　`Yes。Ohyes。'
　　`Likewisethepersonwithhim？'
　　`Personwithhim！'Irepeated。
　　`Ijudgedthepersontobewithhim，'returnedthewatchman。`Thepersonstopped，whenhestoppedtomakeinquiryofme，andthepersontookthiswaywhenhetookthisway。'
　　`Whatsortofperson？'
　　Thewatchmanhadnotparticularlynoticed；heshouldsayaworkingperson；
　　tothebestofhisbelief，hehadadust-colouredkindofclotheson，underadarkcoat。ThewatchmanmademorelightofthematterthanIdid，andnaturally；nothavingmyreasonforattachingweighttoit。