Sotheladyscreamed，andMr。Pickwickstarted。
Mr。Pickwick！exclaimedMr。Magnus，lostinastonishment。Whatisthemeaningofthis，sir？Whatisthemeaningofit，sir？addedMr。Magnus，inathreatening，andaloudertone。
Sir，saidMr。Pickwick，somewhatindignantattheverysuddenmannerinwhichMr。PeterMagnushadconjugatedhimselfintotheimperativemood，Ideclineansweringthatquestion。
Youdeclineit，sir？saidMr。Magnus。
Ido，sir，repliedMr。Pickwick：Iobjecttosayinganythingwhichmaycompromisethatlady，orawakenunpleasantrecollectionsinherbreast，withoutherconsentandpermission。
MissWitherfield，saidMr。PeterMagnus，doyouknowthisperson？
Knowhim！repeatedthemiddle-agedlady，hesitating。
Yes，knowhim，ma’am。Isaidknowhim，repliedMr。Magnus，withferocity。
Ihaveseenhim，repliedthemiddle-agedlady。
Where？inquiredMr。Magnus，where？
That，saidthemiddle-agedlady，risingfromherseat，andavertingherhead，thatIwouldnotrevealforworlds。
Iunderstandyou，ma’am，saidMr。Pickwick，andrespectyourdelicacy。
itshallneverberevealedbyme，dependuponit。
Uponmyword，ma’am，saidMr。Magnus，consideringthesituationinwhichIamplacedwithregardtoyourself，youcarrythismatteroffwithtolerablecoolness——tolerablecoolness，ma’am。
CruelMr。Magnus！saidthemiddle-agedlady。heresheweptverycopiouslyindeed。
Addressyourobservationstome，sir，interposedMr。Pickwick。I
aloneamtoblame，ifanybodybe。
Oh！youalonearetoblame，areyou，sir？saidMr。Magnus。I——I——seethroughthis，sir。Yourepentofyourdeterminationnow，doyou？
Mydetermination！saidMr。Pickwick。
Yourdetermination，sir。Oh！don’tstareatme，sir，saidMr。Magnus。
Irecollectyourwordslastnight，sir。Youcamedownhere，sir，toexposethetreacheryandfalsehoodofanindividualonwhosetruthandhonouryouhadplacedimplicitreliance——eh？HereMr。PeterMagnusindulgedinaprolongedsneer。andtakingoffhisgreenspectacles——whichheprobablyfoundsuperfluousinhisfitofjealousy——rolledhislittleeyesabout，inamannerfrightfultobehold。
Eh？saidMr。Magnus。andthenherepeatedthesneerwithincreasedeffect。Butyoushallanswerit，sir。
Answerwhat？saidMr。Pickwick。
Nevermind，sir，repliedMr。Magnus，stridingupanddowntheroom。
Nevermind。
TheremustbesomethingverycomprehensiveinthisphraseofNevermind，forwedonotrecollecttohaveeverwitnessedaquarrelinthestreet，atatheatre，publicroom，orelsewhere，inwhichithasnotbeenthestandardreplytoallbelligerentinquiries。Doyoucallyourselfagentleman，sir？——Nevermind，sir。DidIoffertosayanythingtotheyoungwoman，sir？Nevermind，sir？Doyouwantyourheadknockedupagainstthatwall，sir？——Nevermind，sir。Itisobservable，too，thattherewouldappeartobesomehiddentauntinthisuniversalNevermind，whichrousesmoreindignationinthebosomoftheindividualaddressed，thanthemostlavishabusecouldpossiblyawaken。
Wedonotmeantoassertthattheapplicationofthisbrevitytohimself，struckexactlythatindignationtoMr。Pickwick’ssoul，whichitwouldinfalliblyhaverousedinavulgarbreast。WemerelyrecordthefactthatMr。Pickwickopenedtheroomdoor，andabruptlycalledout，Tupman，comehere！
Mr。Tupmanimmediatelypresentedhimself，withalookofveryconsiderablesurprise。
Tupman，saidMr。Pickwick，asecretofsomedelicacy，inwhichthatladyisconcerned，isthecauseofadifferencewhichhasjustarisenbetweenthisgentlemanandmyself。WhenIassurehim，inyourpresence，thatithasnorelationtohimself，andisnotinanywayconnectedwithhisaffairs，Ineedhardlybegyoutotakenoticethatifhecontinuetodisputeit，heexpressesadoubtofmyveracity，whichIIshallconsiderextremelyinsulting。AsMr。Pickwicksaidthis，helookedencyclopaediasatMr。
PeterMagnus。
Mr。Pickwick’suprightandhonourablebearing，coupledwiththatforceandenergyofspeechwhichsoeminentlydistinguishedhim，wouldhavecarriedconvictiontoanyreasonablemind。butunfortunatelyatthatparticularmoment，themindofMr。PeterMagnuswasinanythingbutreasonableorder。
Consequently，insteadofreceivingMr。Pickwick’sexplanationasheoughttohavedone，heforthwithproceededtoworkhimselfintoared-hot，scorching，consumingpassion，andtotalkaboutwhatwasduetohisownfeelings，andallthatsortofthing：addingforcetohisdeclamationbystridingtoandfro，andpullinghishair——amusementswhichhewouldvaryoccasionally，byshakinghisfistinMr。Pickwick’sphilanthropiccountenance。
Mr。Pickwick，inhisturn，consciousofhisowninnocenceandrectitude，andirritatedbyhavingunfortunatelyinvolvedthemiddle-agedladyinsuchanunpleasantaffair，wasnotsoquietlydisposedaswashiswont。
Theconsequencewas，thatwordsranhigh，andvoiceshigher。andatlengthMr。MagnustoldMr。Pickwickheshouldhearfromhim。towhichMr。Pickwickreplied，withlaudablepoliteness，thatthesoonerheheardfromhimthebetter。whereuponthemiddle-agedladyrushedinterrorfromtheroom，outofwhichMr。TupmandraggedMr。Pickwick，leavingMr。PeterMagnustohimselfandmeditation。
Ifthemiddle-agedladyhadmingledmuchwiththebusyworld，orhadprofitedatallbythemannersandcustomsofthosewhomakethelawsandsetthefashions，shewouldhaveknownthatthissortofferocityisthemostharmlessthinginnature。butasshehadlivedforthemostpartinthecountry，andneverreadtheparliamentarydebates，shewaslittleversedintheseparticularrefinementsofcivilisedlife。Accordingly，whenshehadgainedherbed-chamber，boltedherselfin，andbeguntomeditateonthesceneshehadjustwitnessed，themostterrificpicturesofslaughteranddestructionpresentedthemselvestoherimagination。amongwhich，afull-lengthportraitofMr。PeterMagnusbornehomebyfourmen，withtheembellishmentofawholebarrelfullofbulletsinhisleftside，wasamongtheveryleast。Themorethemiddle-agedladymeditated，themoreterrifiedshebecame。andatlengthshedeterminedtorepairtothehouseoftheprincipalmagistrateofthetown，andrequesthimtosecurethepersonsofMr。PickwickandMr。Tupmanwithoutdelay。
Tothisdecisionthemiddle-agedladywasimpelledbyavarietyofconsiderations，thechiefofwhich，wastheincontestableproofitwouldaffordofherdevotiontoMr。PeterMagnus，andheranxietyforhissafety。ShewastoowellacquaintedwithhisjealoustemperamenttoventuretheslightestallusiontotherealcauseofheragitationonbeholdingMr。Pickwick。andshetrustedtoherowninfluenceandpowerofpersuasionwiththelittleman，toquellhisboisterousjealousy，supposingthatMr。Pickwickwereremoved，andnofreshquarrelcouldarise。Filledwiththesereflections，themiddle-agedladyarrayedherselfinherbonnetandshawl，andrepairedtotheMayor’sdwellingstraightway。
NowGeorgeNupkins，Esquire，theprincipalmagistrateaforesaid，wasasgrandapersonageasthefastestwalkerwouldfindout，betweensunriseandsunset，onthetwenty-firstofJune，whichbeing，accordingtothealmanacs，thelongestdayinthewholeyear，wouldnaturallyaffordhimthelongestperiodforhissearch。Onthisparticularmorning，Mr。Nupkinswasinastateoftheutmostexcitementandirritation，fortherehadbeenarebellioninthetown。alltheday-scholarsatthelargestday-schoolhadconspiredtobreakthewindowsofanobnoxiousapple-seller，andhadhootedthebeadle，andpeltedtheconstabulary——anelderlygentlemanintop-boots，whohadbeencalledouttorepressthetumult，andwhohadbeenapeace-officer，manandboy，forhalfacenturyatleast。AndMr。Nupkinswassittinginhiseasychair，frowningwithmajesty，andboilingwithrage，whenaladywasannouncedonpressing，private，andparticularbusiness。
Mr。Nupkinslookedcalmlyterrible，andcommandedthattheladyshouldbeshownin：whichcommand，likeallthemandatesofemperors，andmagistrates，andothergreatpotentatesoftheearth，wasforthwithobeyed。andMissWitherfield，interestinglyagitated，wasusheredinaccordingly。
Muzzle！saidthemagistrate。
Muzzlewasanundersizedfootman，withalongbodyandshortlegs。
Muzzle！
Yes，yourworship。
Placeachair，andleavetheroom。
Yes，yourworship。
Now，ma’am，willyoustateyourbusiness？saidthemagistrate。
Itisofaverypainfulkind，sir，saidMissWitherfield。
Verylikely，ma’am，saidthemagistrate。Composeyourfeelings，ma’am。
HereMr。Nupkinslookedbenignant。Andthentellmewhatlegalbusinessbringsyouhere，ma’am。Herethemagistratetriumphedovertheman。andhelookedsternagain。
Itisverydistressingtome，sir，togivethisinformation，saidMissWitherfield，butIfearaduelisgoingtobefoughthere。
Here，ma’am？saidthemagistrate。Where，ma’am？
InIpswich。
InIpswich，ma’am！AduelinIpswich！saidthemagistrate，perfectlyaghastatthenotion。Impossible，ma’am。nothingofthekindcanbecontemplatedinthistown，Iampersuaded。Blessmysoul，ma’am，areyouawareoftheactivityofourlocalmagistracy？Doyouhappentohaveheard，ma’am，thatIrushedintoaprize-ringonthefourthofMaylast，attendedbyonlysixtyspecialconstables。and，atthehazardoffallingasacrificetotheangrypassionsofaninfuriatedmultitude，prohibitedapugilisticcontestbetweentheMiddlesexDumplingandtheSuffolkBantam？AduelinIpswich，ma’am！Idon’tthink——Idonotthink，saidthemagistrate，reasoningwithhimself，thatanytwomencanhavethehardihoodtoplansuchabreachofthepeace，inthistown。
Myinformationisunfortunatelybuttoocorrect，saidthemiddle-agedlady，Iwaspresentatthequarrel。
It’samostextraordinarything，saidtheastoundedmagistrate。Muzzle！
Yes，yourworship。
SendMr。Jinkshere，directly！Instantly。
Yes，yourworship。
Muzzleretired。andapale，sharp-nosed，half-fed，shabbily-cladclerk，ofmiddleage，enteredtheroom。
Mr。Jinks，saidthemagistrate。Mr。Jinks。
Sir，saidMr。Jinks。
Thislady，Mr。Jinks，hascomehere，togiveinformationofanintendedduelinthistown。
Mr。Jinksnotknowingexactlywhattodo，smiledadependent’ssmile。
Whatareyoulaughingat，Mr。Jinks？saidthemagistrate。
Mr。Jinkslookedserious，instantly。
Mr。Jinks，saidthemagistrate，you’reafool。
Mr。Jinkslookedhumblyatthegreatman，andbitthetopofhispen。
Youmayseesomethingverycomicalinthisinformation，sir。butI
cantellyouthis，Mr。Jinks。thatyouhaveverylittletolaughat，saidthemagistrate。
Thehungry-lookingJinkssighed，asifhewerequiteawareofthefactofhishavingverylittleindeed，tobemerryabout。and，beingorderedtotakethelady’sinformation，shambledtoaseat，andproceededtowriteitdown。
Thisman，Pickwick，istheprincipal，Iunderstand，saidthemagistrate，whenthestatementwasfinished。
Heis，saidthemiddle-agedlady。
Andtheotherrioter——what’shisname，Mr。Jinks？
Tupman，sir。
Tupmanisthesecond？
Yes。
Theotherprincipalyousay，hasabsconded，ma’am？
Yes，repliedMissWitherfield，withashortcough。
Verywell，saidthemagistrate。ThesearetwocutthroatsfromLondon，whohavecomedownheretodestroyhisMajesty’spopulation：thinkingthatatthisdistancefromthecapital，thearmofthelawisweakandparalysed。
Theyshallbemadeanexampleof。Drawupthewarrants，Mr。Jinks。Muzzle！
Yes，yourworship。
IsGrummerdown-stairs？
Yes，yourworship。
Sendhimup。
TheobsequiousMuzzleretired，andpresentlyreturned，introducingtheelderlygentlemaninthetop-boots，whowaschieflyremarkableforabottle-nose，ahoarsevoice，asnuff-colouredsurtout，andawanderingeye。
Grummer，saidthemagistrate。
Yourwash-up。
Isthetownquietnow？
Prettywell，yourwash-up，repliedGrummer。Pop’larfeelinghasinameasuresubsided，consekenso’theboyshavingdispersedtocricket。
Nothingbutvigorousmeasureswilldointhesetimes，Grummer，saidthemagistrate，inadeterminedmanner。Iftheauthorityoftheking’sofficersissetatnought，wemusthavetheriotactread。Ifthecivilpowercannotprotectthesewindows，Grummer，themilitarymustprotectthecivilpower，andthewindowstoo。Ibelievethatisamaximoftheconstitution，Mr。Jinks？
Certainly，sir，saidJinks。
Verygood，saidthemagistrate，signingthewarrants。Grummer，youwillbringthesepersonsbeforeme，thisafternoon。YouwillfindthemattheGreatWhiteHorse。YourecollectthecaseoftheMiddlesexDumplingandtheSuffolkBantam，Grummer？
Mr。Grummerintimated，byaretrospectiveshakeofthehead，thatheshouldneverforgetit——asindeeditwasnotlikelyhewould，solongasitcontinuedtobeciteddaily。
Thisisevenmoreunconstitutional，saidthemagistrate。thisisevenagreaterbreachofthepeace，andagrosserinfringementofhisMajesty’sprerogative。IbelieveduellingisoneofhisMajesty’smostundoubtedprerogatives，Mr。Jinks？
ExpresslystipulatedinMagnaCharta，sir，saidMr。Jinks。
OneofthebrightestjewelsintheBritishcrown，wrungfromhisMajestybytheBarons，Ibelieve，Mr。Jinks？saidthemagistrate。
Justso，sir，repliedJinks。
Verywell，saidthemagistrate，drawinghimselfupproudly，itshallnotbeviolatedinthisportionofhisdominions。Grummer，procureassistance，andexecutethesewarrantswithaslittledelayaspossible。Muzzle！
Yes，yourworship。
Showtheladyout。
MissWitherfieldretired，deeplyimpressedwiththemagistrate’slearningandresearch。Mr。Nupkinsretiredtolunch。Mr。Jinksretiredwithinhimself——thatbeingtheonlyretirementhehad，exceptthesofa-bedsteadinthesmallparlourwhichwasoccupiedbyhislandlady’sfamilyinthedaytime——andMr。Grummerretired，towipeout，byhismodeofdischarginghispresentcommission，theinsultwhichhadbeenfasteneduponhimself，andtheotherrepresentativeofhisMajesty——thebeadle——inthecourseofthemorning。
WhiletheseresoluteanddeterminedpreparationsfortheconservationoftheKing’speace，werepending，Mr。Pickwickandhisfriends，whollyunconsciousofthemightyeventsinprogress，hadsatquietlydowntodinner。
andverytalkativeandcompanionabletheyallwere。Mr。Pickwickwasintheveryactofrelatinghisadventureoftheprecedingnight，tothegreatamusementofhisfollowers，Mr。Tupmanespecially，whenthedooropened，andasomewhatforbiddingcountenancepeepedintotheroom。TheeyesintheforbiddingcountenancelookedveryearnestlyatMr。Pickwick，forseveralseconds，andweretoallappearancesatisfiedwiththeirinvestigation。
forthebodytowhichtheforbiddingcountenancebelonged，slowlybroughtitselfintotheapartment，andpresentedtheformofanelderlyindividualintop-boots——nottokeepthereaderanylongerinsuspense，inshort，theeyeswerethewanderingeyesofMr。Grummer，andthebodywasthebodyofthesamegentleman。
Mr。Grummer’smodeofproceedingwasprofessional，butpeculiar。Hisfirstactwastoboltthedoorontheinside。hissecond，topolishhisheadandcountenanceverycarefullywithacottonhandkerchief。histhird，toplacehishat，withthecottonhandkerchiefinit，onthenearestchair。
andhisfourth，toproducefromthebreast-pocketofhiscoatashorttruncheon，surmountedbyabrazencrown，withwhichhebeckonedtoMr。Pickwickwithagraveandghost-likeair。
Mr。Snodgrasswasthefirsttobreaktheastonishedsilence。HelookedsteadilyatMr。Grummerforabriefspace，andthensaidemphatically：
Thisisaprivateroom，sir。Aprivateroom。
Mr。Grummershookhishead，andreplied，Noroom’sprivatetohisMajestywhenthestreetdoor’soncepassed。That’slaw。SomepeoplemaintainsthatanEnglishman’shouseishiscastle。That’sgammon。
ThePickwickiansgazedoneachotherwithwonderingeyes。
WhichisMr。upman？inquiredMr。Grummer。HehadanintuitiveperceptionofMr。Pickwick。heknewhimatonce。
Myname’sTupman，saidthatgentleman。
Myname’sLaw，saidMr。Grummer。
What？saidMr。Tupman。
Law，repliedMr。Grummer，law，civilpower，andexekative。them’smytitles。here’smyauthority。BlankTupman，blankPickvick——againstthepeaceofoursufferinLordtheKing——stattitinthatcasemadeandpurwided——andallregular。IapprehendyouPickvick！Tupman——theaforesaid。
Whatdoyoumeanbythisinsolence？saidMr。Tupman，startingup：
Leavetheroom！
Halloo，saidMr。Grummer，retreatingveryexpeditiouslytothedoor，andopeningitaninchortwo，Dubbley。
Well，saidadeepvoicefromthepassage。
Comefor’ard，Dubbley。
Atthewordofcommand，adirty-facedman，somethingoversixfeethigh，andstoutinproportion，squeezedhimselfthroughthehalf-opendoormakinghisfaceveryredintheprocess，andenteredtheroom。
Istheotherspecialsoutside，Dubbley？inquiredMr。Grummer。
Mr。Dubbley，whowasamanoffewwords，noddedassent。
Orderinthediwisionunderyourcharge，Dubbley，saidMr。Grummer。
Mr。Dubbleydidashewasdesired。andhalfadozenmen，eachwithashorttruncheonandabrasscrown，flockedintotheroom。Mr。Grummerpocketedhisstaff，andlookedatMr。Dubbley。Mr。Dubbleypocketedhisstaffandlookedatthedivision。thedivisionpocketedtheirstavesandlookedatMessrs。TupmanandPickwick。
Mr。Pickwickandhisfollowersroseasoneman。
Whatisthemeaningofthisatrociousintrusionuponmyprivacy？saidMr。Pickwick。
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