ChapterVII。
M。DEVOLTAIREHASAPAINFULJEW—LAWSUIT。
Voltaire’sTerrestrialParadiseatBerlindidnotlongcontinueperfect。ScarcelyhadthatgrandCarrouselvanishedintheazurefirmaments,whenlittlecloudsbeganrisinginitsstead;
andbeforelong,blackthunder—stormsofaverystrangeandevendangerouscharacter。
ItmusthavebeenapainfulsurprisetoFriedrichtohearfromhisVoltaire,somefewweeksafterthosemunificences,Thathe,Voltaire,wasinveryconsiderabledistressofmind,fromthebad,nottocallitthefeloniousandtraitorous,conductofM。D’Arnaud,——onceFriedrich’sshoeing—hornand"rising—sun"forVoltaire’sbehoof;nowavagueflauntingcreature,withoutsignificancetoFriedrichoranybody!ThatD’Arnaudhaddonethisanddonethat,ofanAnti—Voltairian,treasonousnature;——andthat,inshort,lifewasimpossibleintheneighborhoodofsuchaD’Arnaud!"D’ArnaudhascorruptedmyClerk(PrinceHenrihungeringinvainforLAPUCELLE,hasgotsightofit,inthisway);
[Clerkwasdismissedaccordingly(oneTinois,aningeniouscreature),——andCOLLINIappointedinhisstead。]D’ArnaudhasbeengossipingtoFreronandtheParisNewspapers;D’Arnaudhas"
[VoltairetoFriedrich(OEuvresdeFrederic,
xxii。257),undated,"November,1750。"]——Has,ineffect,beenaflauntingyoungfool;ofdissolute,esurient,slightlyprofligateturn;occasionallyhelpingintheTheatricals,andmuchstudioustomakehimselfnotable,andusefultothePrincelykind。AD’Arnaudofnearlynosignificance,toFriedrichortoanybody。AD’Arnaudwhosebitsoffooleriesandstruttingsabout,inthepeacockorjackdawway,mightsurelyhavebeenbelowthenoticeofaTrismegistus!
Friedrich,painfullymadesensiblewhataskinlessexplosiveTrismegistushehasgotonhand,answers,Isuppose,inwordslittleornothing,——inLetters,Iobserve,answersabsolutelynothing,toVoltairerepeatingandre—repeating;——doessimplydismissD’Arnaud(a"BONDIABLE,"asVoltaire,toimpartialpeople,callshim),oracceptD’Arnaud’sdemission,andcutthepoorfooladrift。Whosalliesoutintoinfinitespace,toParislatterly("alivetherein1805");andclaimshenceforthperpetualoblivionfromusandmankind。Andnowtherewillbepeaceinourgardenofthegods,andperpetualazurewillreturn?
Alas,D’Arnaudisnotwellgone,whentherehasbegunbrewinginthreefoldsecrecyamassofgalvanicmatter,which,infewweeksmore,filledtheHeavenswithmiraculousfoulgasesandtheblacknessofdarkness;——which,inshort,explodedaboutNew—year’stime,astheworld—famousVOLTAIRE—HIRSCHLAWSUIT,stillremembered,thoughonlyasaportentandmystery,byobservanton—lookers。Ofwhichitisnowoursaddutytosaysomething;
thoughnowhere,intheAnnalsofJurisprudence,isthereamoredespicablething,oradeeperinvolvedinliesanddeliriumsbycurrentreportersofit,aboutwhichthesanemindcanbecalleduponaccidentallytospeakaword。Beaten,riddled,shovelled,washedinmanywaters,byapatientthoughdisgustedPredecessorinthisfield,thereliesbymeacopiousbutwearisomeNarrativeofthismatter;——themorevividportionsofwhich,ifrightlydisengaged,andshowninsequence,maysatisfythecurious。
Duvernet(who,Icanguess,hadtalkedwithD’Argetonthesubject)
has,aloneoftheFrenchBiographers,someglimmerofknowledgeaboutit;DuvernetadmitsthatitwasathingofIllegalStock—
jobbing;that——
1。"ThatM。deVoltairehadagreedwithaJewnamedHirschtogotoDresdenand,illegally,PURCHASEagoodlotofSTEUER—SCHEINE
[SaxonExchequerBills,whicharepayableingoldtoaBONAFIDE
PRUSSIANholdingthem,butaremuchindiscountotherwise,asreadersmayremember];andgivenHirschaDraftonParis,dueaftersomeweeks,forpaymentofthesame;HirschleavinghimastockofjewelsinpledgetilltheSTEUER—SCHEINEthemselvescometohand。
2。"ThatHirsch,havingthingsofhisowninviewwiththemoney,sentnoSTEUER—SCHEINEfromDresden,nothingbutvaguelyingtalkinsteadofSTEUER:sothatVoltaire’ssuspicionsnaturallykindling,hestoppedpaymentoftheParisDraft,andorderedHirschtocomehomeatonce。
3。"ThatHirschcoming,asettlementwastried:’GivemebackmyDraftonParis,youobjectionableblockheadofaHirsch;thereareyourDiamonds,thereissomethingevenforyourexpenses(somefairmoiety,Ithink);andletmeneverseeyourunpleasantfaceagain!’
TowhichHirsch,examiningthediamonds,answered[saysDuvernet,notsubstantiallyincorrecthitherto,thoughsteppingalongintotaldarkness,andverypartialonVoltaire’sbehalf],——Hirsch,examiningthediamonds,answered,’Butyouhavechangedsomeofthem!Icannottakethese!’——anddroveVoltairequitetodespair,andintotheLaw—Courts;whichimprisonedHirsch,andmadehimdojustice。"[Duvernet(T。J。D。V。),170,173,175:——vagueutterly;
dateless(triesonedate,andismistakenevenintheYear);
wronginnearlyeverydetail;"the’STAIREorSTEUERwasaBANK?"
&c。&c。]
Inwhichlastclause,stillmoreintheconclusion,thatitwas"tothetriumphofVoltaire,"Duvernetdoessubstantiallymistake!
Andindeed,exceptasthebestParisianreflexofthismatter,hisAccountisworthnothing:——thoughitmayserveasIntroductiontothefollowingirrefragableDocumentsandmoreexplicitfeaturings。
Welearnfromhim,anditistheonethingwelearnofcredible,That"Voltaire,whenitcametoLawProcedures,beggedMaupertuistospeakforhimtoM。Jarriges,"aPrussianFrenchman,"oneoftheJudges;andthatMaupertuisanswered,’Icannotinterfereinabadbusiness(MEMELERD’UNEMAUVAISEAFFAIRE)。’"TheotherFrenchBiographies,definableas"IGNOR—AMUSspeakinginaloudvoicetoIGNOR—ATIS,"requiretobealtogethersweptasideinthismatter。
Even"Clog。"jumblingVoltaire’sundatedLETTERSintoconfusionthriceconfounded,anddroningoutvituperativelyinthedark,becomesaMINUSquantityintheseFriedrichaffairs。InregardtotheHirschProcess,ouroneirrefragablesetofevidencesis:
ThePrussianLAW—REPORTbyKLEIN,——especiallytheDocumentsproducedinCourt,andtheSentencegiven。[ErnstFerdinandKlein,AnnalenderGesetzgebungundRechtsgelehrsamkeitindenPreussischenStaaten(BerlinundStettin),1790,"
v。215—260。]Otherlightsaretobegathered,withseverescrutinyandcaution,fromthecircumambientcontemporaryrumor,——especiallyfromthePREFACEtoa"Comedy"socalledof"TANTALEENPROCES
(Tantalus,"Voltaire,"atLaw");——whichPREFACEisevidentlyHirsch’sownStory,putintolanguageforhimbysomehumanefriend,andaddressedtoa"clear—seeingPublic。"[TANTALEEN
PROCES(ascribedtoFriedrichhimself,bysomewonderfulpersons!)
isinSupplementauxOEuvresPosthumesdeFredericII。
(Cologne,1789),i。319etseq。AmongtheweakestofComedies(mightbebyD’Arnaud,orsomesuchhand);nothinginitworthreadingexceptthePreface。]"Andinfine,"saysmyManuscript,"bysweepingoutthedistinctlyfalse,andwelldiscriminatingtheindubitablefromwhatisstillinpartdubitable,sufficienttwilight[abridgableinahighdegree,I
hope!]risesovertheAffair,torenderitvisibleinallitsmainfeatures。"
THEVOLTAIRE—HIRSCHTRANSACTION:PARTI。ORIGINOFLAWSUIT
(10thNovember—25thDecember,1750)。
"SaxonSTEUER—SCHEIN,somereadersknow,is,intherough,equivalenttoExchequerBill。PayableattheSaxonTreasury;
toPrussians,ingold;toallothermen,inpaperonly,——which(thankstoBruhlandhisunheard—ofexpendituresandfinancierings)
isnowatadiscountsayof25,oreven30percent。ByArticleEleventhoftheDresdenTREATYOFPEACE,KingFriedrich,ifourreadershavenotforgotten,gotstipulated,ThatallPrussianholdersoftheseSCHEINEshouldbepaidingold;interestattheduedays;andattheduedaysprincipalitself:——ingoldthey,whateverbecameofothers。Nofartherspecifications,astoproof,method,limitsorconditionsofanykind,occurinregardtothisEleventhArticle;whichisajustone,beyonddoubt,butmostcarelesslydrawnup。ApparentlyittrustsaltogethertothepersonalhonestyofallPrussiansubjects:’ProveyourselfaPrussiansubject,andwepayyourSteuer—Scheininrealmoney。’
ButnowifaSaxonorotherNon—Prussian,whocangetnopaymentsaveinpaper,weretohavehisNotesmuggledortraffickedoverintoPrussia,andpresentedasaPrussianone?Inourtime,suchtrafficwouldstartonthemorrowmorning;andinaweekortwo,allNoteswhatsoeverwouldbepresentedasPrussian,payableingold!Notsointhosedays;——thoughasmallcontrabandofthatkinddoesbydegreesthreatentoestablishitself,andFriedrichhadtopublishsevererescripts(onebeforethisHirsch—Voltairebusiness,[10thAugust,1748(Seyfarth,i。62)。]onestillsevererafter),andmenaceitdownagain。Themalpracticeseemstohaveprovedmenaceableinthatmanner;norwasanynewarrangementmadeuponit,——nochange,tilltheSteuer—Scheine,bytheirgradualterms,wereallpaideitherinrealmoneyorimaginary,andthus,inthecourseofyears,thethingburnttothesocket,andwentout。"
Voltaire’srashAdventure,dangerousNavigationandgradualWreck,inthisForbiddenSeaofSteuer—Scheine,——willbecomeconceivabletoreaders,onstudydiligentenoughofthefollowingDocumentsandselectDetails:——
DOCUMENTFIRST(asmallMissive,inVoltaire’shand)。
"Jeprieinstammentmonsieurherschdevenirdemainmardimatinapotsdampouraffairepressante,etd’aporter(SIC)avecluylesdiamantsquidoiventservirpourlarepresentationdelatragediequisejoueraacinqheuresdesoirchezS。A。R。MonseigneurlePrincehenri"Celundyamidy。VOLTAIRE。"
Whichbeinginterpreted,rightlyspelt,anddated(asbychancewecando)withdistinctness,willrunasfollowsinEnglish:——
"POTSDAM,Monday,9thNovember,1750。
"IearnestlyrequestMr。Hirschtocometo—morrowTuesdaymorningtoPotsdam,onbusinessthatisurgent;andtobringwithhimtheDiamondsneededfortheTragedywhichistoberepresented,atfiveintheevening,inHisRoyalHighnessPrinceHenry’sApartment。"
[Klein,v。260。]
"OnTuesdaythe10th,"saytheOldNewspapers,"wasROMESAUVEE;"——
withVoltaire,perceptiblethereas"CICERON,"[Rodenbeck,i。209。]
induesplendorofdiamonds;Hirschhavingnodoubtbeenpunctual。
AgloriousenoughCicero;——andsuchapieceof"urgentbusiness"
donewithyourHirsch,justbeforeemergingonthestage!
"Hirsch,inthatNARRATIVE,describeshimselfasayounginnocentcreature。Notveryold,wewillbelieve:butastoinnocence!——Forcertain,heisnamedAbrahamHirsch,orHirschel:aBerlinJewofthePeriod;whomoneinclinestofigureasafloridoilyman,ofSemiticfeatures,intheprimeoflife;whodealsmuchinjewels,moneys,loans,exchanges,allkindsofJewbarter;whetherabsolutelyinoldclothes,wedonotknow——certainlynotunlessthereisapennytobeturned。ThemanisofoilySemitictype,notoldinyears,——thereisafraternalHirsch,andalsoapaternal,whoisheadofthefirm;——andthisyoungoneseemstobealreadyoldinJewart。SpeaksFrenchandotherdialects,inaHebrew,partiallyintelligiblemanner;suppliesVoltairewithdiamondsforhisstage—dresses,asweperceive。Toallappearance,nearlydestituteofhumanintellect,butwithabundanceofvulpineinstead。Verycunning;stupid,seemingly,asamuleotherwise;——
and,onthewhole,resemblinginvariouspointsofcharacteramuleputintobreeches,andmadeacquaintedwiththeusesofmoney。
Heiscome’onpressingbusiness,’——perhapsnotofstage—diamondsalone?HerenowisDOCUMENTSECOND;nearlyofthesamedate;maybeoftheverysame;——morelikelyisafewdayslater,andbetokensmysteriousdialogueandconsultationheldonTuesday10th。Itisintwohands:writtenonsomescraporTORNbitofpaper,tojudgebythelengthofthelines。
DOCUMENTSECOND。
"InVoltaire’shand,thispart:——
’Savoirs’ilestencoretemsdedeclarerlesbilletsqu’onasurlasteure。sionenspecifielenumerodansladeclaration。’
’Ifitisstilltimetodeclare[toannounceinSaxonyanddemandpaymentfor]NotesoneholdsontheSteuer?IfoneistospecifytheNo。inthedeclaration?’
"InHirsch’shand,thispart:——
’l’onpeutdeclarerdesbilletssurlasteure,qu’onaendepostenpaysetranger,etdontonnepourrasavoirlenumeroquedansquinzejoursoutroisSemaines。’[Klein,259。]
’OnecandeclareNotesontheSteuer,whichoneholdsindepositinForeignCountries;andofwhichonecannotstatetheNo。tillafterafortnightorthreeweeks。’
"WhichoftheseTwowastheSerpent,whichtheEve,inthisSTEUER—
SCHEINTreeofKnowledge,thatgrewinthemiddleofParadise,remainsentirelyuncertain。Hirsch,ofcourse,saysitwasVoltaire;Voltaire(notawarethatDOCUMENTSECONDremainedinexistence)haddeniedthathisHirschbusinesswasinanywayconcernedwithSTEUER;——andmusthavebeenagooddealstruck,whenDOCUMENTSECONDcametolight;thoughwhatcouldhedobutstilldeny!Hirschassertshimselftohaveobjectedthe’illegality,theKing’sanger;’butthatVoltaireansweredinhintsabouthisfavorwiththeKing;’abouthispowertomakeoneaCourt—Jeweller,’ifheliked;andsoatlasttemptedthebabyinnocenceofHirsch;——fortherest,admitsthattheSteuer—NoteswereexpectedtoyieldaProfit——of35percent:——and,infact,adramaticreadercanimaginetohimselfdialogueenough,atdifferenttimes,goingon,partlybywords,partlybyhint,innuendoanddumb—show,betweenthisPairofStage—Beauties。But,fornearafortnightafterDOCUMENTFIRST,thereisnothingdated,orthatcanbeclearlybelieved,——till,"MONDAY,23dNOVEMBER,1750。ItiscrediblycertaintheJewHirschcameagain,thisday,totheRoyalSchlossofPotsdam,toVoltaire’sapartmentthere[rightoverheadofKingFriedrich’s,itis!]——where,aftersuchdialogueascanbeguessedat,therewashandedtoHirschbyVoltaire,intheformofTwonegotiableBills,asumofabout2,250pounds;withwhichtheJewistomakeatonceforDresden,andbuySteuer—Scheine。[Hirsch’sNarrative,inPrefacetoTantaleenProces,p。340。]
Steuer—Scheinewithoutfail:’butintalkingorcorrespondingonthematter,wearealwaystocallthemFURSorDIAMONDS,’——mysteryofmysteriesbeingtheruleforus。Thisconsiderablesumof2,250
poundsmayitnototherwise,contrivesVoltaire,becalleda’Loan’
toJewellerHirsch,soobligingaJeweller,tobuy’Furs’or’Diamonds’with?Atagainof35per100Pieces,therewillbeabove800poundstome,afterallexpensescleared:averyprettystrokeofbusinessdo—ableinfewdays!"——
"Monday,23dNovember:"ThebeautifulWilhelmina,oneremarks,isjustmakingherpackages;rightsadtoendsuchaVisitasthishadbeen!Thursdaynight,fromherfirstsleeping—place,thereisatouchingFarewelltoherBrother;——tender,melodiouslysorrowful,astheSongoftheSwan。[WilhelminatoFriedrich,"Brietzen,26thNovember,JOURFUNESTEPOURMOI"(OEuvresdeFrederic,xxvii。i。197)。]ToVoltaireshewasalwaysgood;
alwayslikedVoltaire。VoltairewouldbesayinghisAdieus,instate,amongtheothers,tothathighBeing,——justinthehourswhilesuchascandalousHirsch—Concoctionwent,onunderground!
"AstotheTwoBillsandVoltaire’ssecurityforthem,readersaretonoteasfollows。BillFIRSTisaDraft,onVoltaire’sParisBankerfor40,000livres(about1,600pounds),notpayableforsomeweeks:’ThisIlendyou,MonsieurHirsch;mind,LENDyou,——tobuyFurs!’’Yes,truly,whatwecallFurs;——andbeforetheBillfallspayable,therewillbeeffectsforitinMonseigneurdeVoltaire’shand;whichissecurityenoughforMonseigneur。’TheSECONDBill,again"——Truthis,therewereinsuccessiontwoSecondBills,anINTENDED—Second(ofthissameMonday23d),whichdidnotquitesuit,andanACTUAL—Second(twodayslater),whichdid。INTENDED—
SecondBillwasonefor4,000thalers(about600pounds),drawnbyVoltaireontheSieurEphraim,——averyfamousJewofBerlinnowandhenceforth,withwhomasmoney—changer,ifnotyetotherwise(whichperhapsEphraimthinksunlucky),Voltaire,itwouldseem,isinfrequentcommunication。ThisBill,Ephraimwouldnotaccept;
toldHirschheowedM。deVoltairenothing;"turnedmerudelyaway,"saysHirsch(twoofatrade,andnofriends,heandI!)——sothatthereisnothingtobesaidofthisEphraimBill;andexceptasitelucidatessomedarkportionsofthewhirlpools,neednothavebeennoticedatall。"Hirsch,"continuesmyAuthority,"gotonlyTwoavailableBills;thefirstonParisfor1,600pounds,payableinsomeweeks;and,afteradayortwo,thisother:TheACTUALBILLSECOND;whichisaDraftfor4,430thalers(about650
pounds),byoldFatherHirsch,headoftheFirm,onVoltairehimself:——’Furstoowiththat,MonsieurHirsch,attherateof35
perpiece,youunderstand?’’Yea,truly,Monseigneur!’——DraftacceptedbyVoltaire,andthecashforitnowhandedtoHirschSon:
theonlyabsolutelyreadymoneyhehasyetgottowardstheaffair。
"FortheseTwoBills,especiallyforthisSecond,Iperceive,Voltaireholdsborrowedjewels(borrowedintheatricaltimes,orpartlybought,fromtheHirschFirm,andnotpaidfor),whichmakehimsuretillheseetheSTEUERPapersthemselves。——(Andnowoff,mygoodSieurHirsch;andknowthatifyoupleaseME,thereare——
thingsinmypowerwhichwouldsuitamanintheJewellerandHebrewline!’HirschpusheshometoBerlin;primedandloadedinthismanner;Voltairenaturallyauxiousenoughthattheshotmayhit。Alas,theshotwillnotevengooff,forsometime:
anillomen!
"SUNDAY,29thNOVEMBER,Hirsch,wehear,isstillinBerlin。
FancythehumorofVoltaire,aftersuchaweekaslast!TUESDAY,December1st)Hirschstillisnotoff:’Go,yousonofAmalek!’
urgesVoltaire;andsendshisServantPicard,averysharpfellow,forperhapsthethirdtime,——whohasordersnow,asHirschdiscovers,tostaywithhim,notquitsightofhimtillhedogo。
[Hirsch’sNarrative;seeVoltaire’sLettertoD’Arget(
OEuvres,lxiv。11)。]Hirsch’shourofdepartureforDresdenisnotmentionedintheACTS;butIguesshecouldhardlygetoverWednesday,withPicarddogginghimontheseterms;
andmusthavetakenthediligenceonWednesdaynight:toarriveinDresdenaboutDecember4th。’Well;atleast,ourshotisoff;
hasnotburstout,andlodgedinourpersonhere,——thankedbeallthegods!’
"Off,sureenough:——andwhatshouldwesayifthewholematterwerealreadyoozingout;if,onthissameSundayevening,November29th)
notquiteaweek’stimeyet,thematter(aswelearnlongafterwards)hadbeenprivatelywhisperedtohisMajesty:
’ThatVoltairehassentoffaJewtobuySteuer—Scheine,andhaspromisedtogethimmadeCourt—Jeweller!’[Voltaire,
OEuvres,lxxiv。314("LettertoFriedrich,February,1751,"——AFTERCatastrophe)。],So;withinaweek,andbeforeHirschisevengone!Formenareveryporous;weightysecretsoozingoutofthem,likequicksilverthroughclayjars。Icouldguess,Hirsch,bywayofgallinginsolentEphraim,hadblabbedsomething:andinthecourseoffivedays,ithasgottotheveryKing,——thisKammerherrVoltairebeingsuchafavoriteandfamousmanasneverwas;theverybull’s—eyeofallkindsofBerlingossipinthesedays。’Hm,Steuer—Scheine,andtheJewHirschtobeCourt—Jeweller,yousay?’thinkstheKing,thatSundaynight;butlockstherumorinhisRoyalmind,he,forhispart;ordismissesitasincredible:
’Thereoughttobeimperviousvesselstoo,amongtheporous!’
Voltairenoticesnothingparticular,ornothingthathespeaksofasparticular。Thismusthavebeenahorridweektohim,tillHirschgotaway。"Hirschisaway(December2d);inDresden,safeenough;but——
"But,thefortnightthatfollowsisconceivableasstillworse。
Hirschwritingdarkly,nothingtothepurpose;VoltairedrivingoftenintoBerlin,hearingfromEphraimhintsabout,’NoconnectionwiththatHouse;’’IfMonseigneurhaveintrustedHirschwithmoney,——maytherebeagoodaccountofit!’andthelike。
BlackCaredevouringMonseigueur;butnothingdefinite;exceptthefacttooevident,ThatHirschdoesnotsendorbringthesmallestshadowofSteuer—Scheine,——’Peltries,’or’Diamonds,’wemean,——oranyvaluewhateverforthatParisBillofours,payableshortly,andwhichhehasalreadygotcashedinDresden。Nothingbutexcuses,prevarications;stupid,incoherentlydeceptivejargon,asofamuleintentonplayingfoxwithyou。VividCorrespondenceisconceivable;butnothingofitdefinitetous,exceptthissample"
(whichwegivetranslated):——
DOCUMENTTHIRD(tornfractioninVoltaire’shand:ToHirsch,doubtless;earlyinDecember)……"Notproper(ILNEFALLAITPAS)
tonegotiateBillsofExchange,andneverproduceasinglediamond"——bitofpeltry,orwareofanykind,yousonofAmalek!
"Notpropertosay:Ihavegotmoneyforyourbillsofexchange,andIbringyounothingback;andIwillrepayyourmoneywhenyoushallnolongerbehere[inGermanyatall]。Notpropertopromiseat35louis,andthensay30。Tosay30,andthennextmorning25。
Youshouldatleasthaveproducedgoods(ILFALLAITENDONNER)atthepricecurrent;veryeasytodowhenonewasonthespot。
Allyourprocedureshavebeenfaultshitherto。[Klein,v。259。]
"Thesearedreadfulsymptoms。Steuer—Notes,promisedat35
discount,arenottobehadexceptat30。Say30then,andgetdonewithit,muleofascoundrel!Nextdaythe30sinksto25;andnotaSteuer—Note,onanyterms,comestohand。Andthemuleofascoundrelhasdrawnmoney,inDresdenyonder,formyBillonParis,——excellenttohimfortradeofhisown!WhatistobedonewithsuchanAssofBalaam?Hehasgotthebitinhisteeth,itwouldseem。Heavens,hetooiscapableofstoppingshort,carelessofspurandcudgel;andmiraculouslyspeakingtoaNEWProphet[strangenew"RevealeroftheLord’sWill,"inmoderndialect],inthisenlightenedEighteenthCenturyitself!——OnethingthenewProphet,cando:protesthisParisBill。
"DECEMBER12th[ournextbitofcertainty],Voltairewrites,haste,haste,toParis,’Don’tpay;’andintimatestoHirsch,’YouwillhavetoreturnyourDresdenBankerhismoneyforthatParisBill。
AtParisIhaveprotestedit,markme;andthereitneverwillbepaidtohimoryou。Andyoumustcomehomeagaininstantly,jobundone,liesnotuntold,you——!’Hirsch,withmoneyinhand,appearsnottohavewantedforabriskishtradeofhisownintheDresdenmarts。Butthisofcuttingoffhissuppliesbringshiminstantlyback:"——andatBerlin,DECEMBER16th,newfactsemergeagainofadefinitenature。
"WEDNESDAY,16thDECEMBER,1750。’To—daytheKingwithCourtandVoltairecometoBerlinfortheCarnival;’[Rodenbeck,i。209。]
to—dayalsoVoltaire,notinCarnivalhumor,hasappointedhisJewtomeethim。IntheRoyalPalaceitself,——wehope,wellremotefromFriedrich’sApartment!——thissordidconference,needingone’schoicestdiplomacywithal,andsuchexquisitehandlingofbitandspur,goeson。Andprobablyatgreatlength。Ofwhich,astheFINALE,andoneclearfeaturesignificanttothefancy,hereis,——
forrecordofwhattheycall’COMPLETESETTLEMENT,’whichitwasfarfromturningouttobe:——
DOCUMENTFOURTH(inHirsch’shand,FirstPieceofit)。
"’PourquittancegeneralepromettantderendreaMr。deVoltairetousbillets,ordresetlettresdechangeamoydonnezjusqu’acejour,16Decembre,1750。
"’Accountallsettled;IpromisingtoreturnM。deVoltaireallLetters,OrdersandBillsofExchangegivenmetothisday,16thDecember,1750。
[Hirschsigns。Butyouhaveforgottensomething,MonsieurHirsch!
Whereupon]
etprometsdedonneraMr。deVoltairedanslejourdedemainouapresauplustarddeuxcentguatre—vingtfredericsd’oraulieudedeuxcentquatre—vingtlouisd’or,quejeluiaipayez,letoutpourquittancegenerale,ce16Decembre,1750,aberlin
AndpromisetogiveM。deVoltaire,inthecourseofto—morrow,orthedayafterto—morrowatlatest,280FREDERICSD’OR,insteadof280LOUISD’OR[goldFREDERICSthepreferabecoin,sayexperts]
whichIhavenowpaidhim;wherebyAllwillbesettled。
[Hirschagainsigns;buthasagainforgottensomething,mostimportantthing。And]
jeluiremettraisurtoutles40,000livresdebilletsdechangesurparisqu’ilmavoitdonnezetfiez’
IwillespeciallyreturnhimtheBillonParisfor40,000livres(1,600pounds)whichhehadgivenandtrustedtome,’——buthassinceprotested,asistooevident。
[andHirschsignsforthelasttime]。"[Klein,pp。258,260。]——
Symptomatic,surely,ofahagglysettlement,theseTHREEshotsinsteadofone!——"Voltaire’sreturnis:——
"’Pourquittancegeneraledetoutcomptesoldeentrenous,toutpayeausieurabrahamherschaberlin,16Decembre,1750。——Voltaire’
"’Accountallsettledbetweenus,paymentoftheSieurAbrahamHirschinfull:Berlin,16thDeember,1750。’
[whichSecondPiece,weperceive,istolieinHirsch’shand,tokeep,ifhefinditvaluable]。
"This’COMPLETESETTLEMENT,’——littlelessthanmiraculoustoVoltaireandus,——onefinds,aftersifting,tohavebeenthefruitofVoltaire’sexquisiteskillintreatingandtuninghisHirsch(noharshnessofrebuke,rathersomegleamofhope,offuturebargains,helpatCourt):(Yourexpenses;compensationforprotestingofthatBillonParis?Tush,cannotwemakeallthatgood!Inthefirstplace,IwillBUYofyoutheseJewels[thisonediscoverstohavebeentheessenceoftheoperation!],allorthebestpartofthem,whichIhavehereinpawnforPapa’sBill:650poundswasitnot?
Well,supposeIontheinstanttake450poundsworth,orso,oftheseJewels(Iwantagreatmanyjewels);andyoutopaymedowna200orsoofgoldLOUISasbalance,——goldLOUIS,no,wewillsayFREDERICSrather。Therenow,thatissettled。Nothingmorebetweenusbutsettlesitself,ifwecontinuefriends!’UponwhichHirschwalkedhome,thankfulforthegoodjobinJewels;wonderingonlywhattheAllowanceforExpensesandCompensationwillbe。
AndVoltairestepsout,new—burnished,intotheRoyalCarnivalsplendors,withaloadrolledfromhismind。
"ThisCOMPLETESETTLEMENT,meanwhile,restsevidentlyontwolegs,bothofwhicharehollow。’WhatwillthehandsomeCompensationbe,Iwonder?’thinksHirsch;——andishorror—strucktofindshortly,thatVoltaireconsiders60thalers(about9pounds)willbethefairsum!’Morethantentimesthat!’isHirsch’sprivatelyfixedidea。Ontheotherhand,Voltairehasbeenaskinghimself,’My450
poundsworthofJewels,weretheyjustlyvalued,though?’
JewEphraim(exaggerativeandanenemytothisHirschHouse)
answers,’Justly?Iwouldgivefrom300poundsto250poundsforthem!’——Sothatthelegsbothcrumblingtopowder,CompleteSettlementcrashesdownintochaos:andthereensues,"——Butwemustendeavortobebriefer!
Thereensues,foraboutaweekfollowing,suchaninextricablescramblebetweentheSieurHirschandM。deVoltaireas,——asnoreader,nothimselfintheJew—Billline,orpaidforunderstandingit,couldconsenttohaveexplainedtohim。Voltaire,bywayofmendingthebadjewel—bargain,willbuyofHirsch200poundsworthmorejewels;getsthenew200poundsworthinhand,cannotquitesettlewhatarticleswillsuit:"This,thinkyou?That,thinkyou?"
Andintricatelyshufflesthemabout,toHirschandback。
Hirsch,singulartonotice,holdsfastbythatProtestedParisBill;onfrivolouspretexts,alwaysforgetstobringthat:
"Mayhaveitsuses,that,inaCourtofJusticeyet!"
Meetingsthereare,almostdaily,intheVoltairePalace—Apartment;
DECEMBER19thandDECEMBER24th)thereareTwoDOCUMENTS(whichwemustsparethereader,thoughhewillhearofthemagain,ashighlynotable,especiallyofoneofthem,asnotableintheextreme!)——
indicatingtheabstrusestjewel—bargainings,scramblings,re—bargainings。
"MyJewelsaretrulyvalued!"asseveratesHirschalways:"Ephraimismyenemy;askHerrReklam,chiefJewellerinBerlin,animpartialman!"Themeetingsareoccasionallyofstormycharacter;
Voltaire’spatiencenearlyout:"Butdidn’tIreturnyouthatTopazRing,value75pounds?AndyouhaveNOTdeductedit;you——!"
"Oneday,PicardandhepulledaRing[doubtlessthisTopaz]offmyfinger,"saysthepatheticHirsch,"andviolentlyshovedmeoutoftheroom,slammingtheirdoor,"——andsentmehome,alongthecorridors,inaveryscurvyhumor!Thus,underaskinofsecondsettlement,therearetwogalvanicelements,gettingevermoregalvanic,whichnoskinofsettlementcanpreventexplodingbeforelong。
Explosionthereaccordinglywas;mostsadanddismal;whichrangthroughalltheCourtcirclesofBerlin;and,likeasoundofhootingandofweepingmixed,isaudibleoverseastothisday。
Butletnotthereaderinsistontracingthecourseofithenceforth。Klein,thoughfaithfulandexact,isnotaPitaval;
andwefindinhimerrorsofthepress。TheacutestActuarymightspendweeksoverthesedistractedMoney—accounts,andinconsistentListsofJewelsboughtandnotbought;andwouldbeunreadableifsuccessful。Letussay,Thebusinesscatchesfireatthispoint;
theVoltaire—Hirschtheatreisasifblownupintomerewhirlwindsofigneousrumandsmokydarkness。HenceforthallplungesintoLawsuit,intochaosofconflictinglies,——undecipherable,notworthdeciphering。Letusgivewhatfewglimpsesofthethingareclearlydiscernibleattheirsuccessivedates,andleavetheresttopictureitselfinthereader’sfancy。
Itappears,thatMeetingofDECEMBER24th,abovealludedto,wasfollowedbyanotheronChristmas—day,whichprovedthefinalone。
Finaltotalexplosiontookplaceatthisnewmeeting;——which,wefindfarther,wasatChasot’sLodging(theCHAPEAUofHanbury),whoisnowinTown,likealltheworld,forCarnival。HirschdoesnotdirectlyventureonnamingChasot:butbyimplication,byglimmersofevidenceelsewhere,onesufficientlydiscoversthatitishe:
Lieutenant—Colonel,King’sFriend,amanglorious,especiallyeversinceHohenfriedberg,andthathaulofthe"sixty—sevenstandards"
allatonce。InthewayofArbitration,VoltairethinksChasotmightdosomething。Inregardtothose450poundsworthofboughtJewels,thereisnotsuchajudgeintheworld!Hirschsays:
"Nextmorning[December25th,morrowafterthatjumblyAccount,withprobableslammingofthedoor,andstillworse!],VoltairewenttoaLieutenant—ColonelintheKing’sservice;andaskhimtosendforme。"[Duvernet(Second),p。172;Hirsch’sNarrative(inTantale,p。344)。]ThisisChasot;whoknowsthesejewelswell。Duvernet,——whohadtalkedagooddealwithD’Arget,inlatteryears,andaloneofFrenchmensometimesyieldsatrueparticleoffeatureinthingsPrussian,——Duvernettellsus,theseJewelswereonceChasot’sown:givenhimbyafondDuchessofMecklenburg,——musicaloldDuchess,vergingtowardssixty;
HONISOIT,myfriend!WhatHirschgaveChasotfortheseJewelsisnotadoubtfulquantity;andmaythrowconvictionintoHirsch,hopesVoltaire。
DECEMBER25th,1750。TheinterviewatChasot’swasnotlengthy,butitwasdecisive。HirschneverbringsthatParisBill;privatelyfixed,onthatpoint。Hirsch’sclaims,aswegraduallyunraveltheintricatemule—mindofhim,riseveryhighindeed。"AndastothevalueofthoseJewels,andwhatIallowedYOUforthem,MonsieurChasot;thatisnorule:trade—profits,youknow"——Nay,themuleintimates,asalastshift,ThatperhapstheyarenotthesameJewels;thatperhapsM。deVoltairehaschangedsomeofthem!
Whereuponthemattercatchesfire,irretrievablyexplodes。
M。deVoltaire’spatiencefliesquitedone;and,fire—eyedfurynowguiding,hespringsuponthethroatofHirschlikeacat—o’—
mountain;clutchesHirschbythewindpipe;tumbleshimabouttheroom:"Infamouscanaille,doyouknowwhomyouhavegottodowith?
Thatitisinmypowertostickyouintoaholeundergroundfortherestofyourlife?Sirrah,Iwillruinandannihilateyou!"——and"tossedmeabouttheroomwithhisfistonmythroat,"saysHirsch;
"offeringtohavepitynevertheless,ifIwouldtakebacktheJewels,andreturnallwritings。"[Narrative(inTantale)。]Eyesglancinglikearattlesnake’s,asweperceive;
andsuchaphenomenonasHirschhadnotexpected,thisChristmas!
Inshort,thematterhasherefairlyexploded,andisblazingaloft,asamassofintricatefuliginousruin,nottobedecipheredhenceforth。SuchasceneforChasotontheChristmas—dayatBerlin!
AndwehavegottoPARTII。THELAWSUITITSELF(30thDecember,1750—18thand26thFebruary,1751)。
Hirschslunkhurriedlyhome,uncertainwhetherdeadoralive。
OldHirsch,hearingofsuchexplosion,consideredhishouseandfamilyruined;and,beingoldandfeeble,tooktobeduponit,threateningtobreakhisheart。VoltairewritestoNieceDenis,onthemorrow;nothintingattheHirschmatter,farfromthat;butinuncommonlydrearyhumor:"Mysplendorhere,myglory,neverwasthelikeofit;MAIS,MAIS,"BUT,andeveragainBUT,ateachnewitem,——infact,thehumorofagloriousPhoenix—Peacocksuddenlydouchedanddrenchedindirtywater,andfeelingfrostathand!
["ToMadameDenis"(lxxiv。279,"BerlinPalace,26thDecember,1750;"——andib。249,257,&c。ofotherdates)。]Humorintelligibleenough,whendatesarecompared。
Betterthanthat,Voltaireisapplying,onallpointsofthecompass,toLegalandInfluentialPersons,forhelpinaCourtofLaw。ToChancellorCocceji;toJarriges(eminentPrussianFrenchman),PresidentofCourt;toMaupertuis,whoknowsJarriges,but"willnotmeddleinabadbusiness;"——atlast,eventodullreverendFormey,whomhehadnotcalledonhitherto。Coccejiseemstohaveanswered,totheeffect,"Mostcertainly:theCourtsarewideopen;"——butasto"help"!December30th,theSuit,VoltaireVERSUSHirsch,"comestoProtocol,"——thatis,Cocceji,Jarriges,Loper,threeeminentmen,havebeennamedtotryit;andHerrHofrathBell,AdvocateforVoltairePlaintiff,handsinhisFirstStatementthatday。Berlinresounds,wemayfancyhow!
Rumor,laughterandwonderareinallpolitequarters;
andcontinue,moreorlessvivid,forabovetwomonthscoming。
HereisonedirectglimpseofPlaintiff,inthisinterim;whichwewillgive,thoughtheeyesarenoneofthebest:"ThefirstvisitI,"Formey,"hadfromVoltairewasintheafternoonofJanuary8th)
1751[Suitbeguntendaysago]。Ihad,atthetime,alargepartyoffriends。VoltairewalkedacrosstheApartment,withoutlookingatanybody;and,takingmebythehand,mademeleadhimtoacabinetadjoining。HisLawsuitwithaJewwasthematteronhand。
HetalkedtomeatlargeabouthisLawsuit,andwiththegreatestvehemence;hewoundupbyaskingmetospeaktoLaw—PresidentM。deJarriges(sinceChancellor):Iansweredwhatwassuitable;"——
probablydidspeaktoJarriges,butmightaswellhaveheldmytongue。"Voltairethentookhisleave:steppingathwarttheformerApartmentwithsomeprecipitation,henoticedmyeldestlittlegirl,theninherfourthyear,whowasgazingatthediamondsonhisCrossoftheOrderofMerit。’Bagatelles,bagatelles,MON
ENFANT!’saidhe,anddisappeared。"[Formey,i。232。]
OnNew—Year’sday,Friday,1stJanuary,1751,VoltairehadlegallyappliedtoHerrMinistervonBismark,forWarranttoarrestHirsch,asapersonthatwillnotgiveupPapersnotbelongingtohim。
Warrantwasgranted,andHirschlodgedinLimbo。WhichworsensthestateofpooroldFatherHirsch;threateningnowreallytodie,ofheart—breakandothercauses。HirschSon,fromtheinteriorofLimbo,appealstoBismark,"LordChancellorCoccejiisseizedofmyPlea,yourgraciousLordship!"——"Allthesame,"answersBismark;
"produceCAUTION,oryoucan’tgetout。"Hirschproducescaution;
andgetsout,afteradayortwo;——andhasbeen"broughttoProtocolJanuary4th。"NodelayinthisCourt:bothparties,throughtheirAdvocates,arenowbroughttobook;thepointstheyagreeinwillbesiftedout,andlaidonthissideastruth;whattheydifferin,leftlyingonthatside,asamixtureofliestobeoperatedonbyfartherprocessesandprotocols。
WewillnotdetailtheLawsuit;——whatIchieflyadmireinitisitsbrevity。Coccejihasnotreformedinvain。GoodAdvocates,noneotherallowed;andnoAdvocatetalks;hemerelyendeavorstothink,seeanddiscover;holdshistongueifhecandiscovernothing:
thatdoubtlessisonesourceofthebrevity!——ManyliesarestatedbyHirsch,manybyVoltaire:buttheJudges,withoutdifficulty,shoveltheseaside;andcomestepbystepuponthetruth。
Hirschsaysplainly,HewassenttobuySTEUER—SCHEINEat35percentdiscount;VoltaireentirelydeniestheSteuer—Notes;says,ItwasanaffairofPeltriesandJewelries,originatinginloansofmoneytothisungratefulJew。WhichnecessitatesmuchwrigglingonthepartofM。deVoltaire;——buthehashimselfwritteninaLawyer’sOffice,inhisyoungdays,andknowshowtotwistaturnofexpression。TheJudgesarenottheretojudgeaboutSteuer—
Notes;buttheygiveyoutounderstandthatVoltaire’sPeltry—and—
Jewelrystoryismoonshine。HirschproducestheVoltaireScrapsofWriting,alreadyknowntoourreaders;Voltairesays,"Mereextinctjottings;whichHirschhasfurtivelypickedoutofthegrate,"——ormaybesaidtohavepicked;PapersannihilatedbyourBargainofDecember16th,andwhichshouldhavebeeninthegrate,iftheywerenot;thisfelonneverhavingkepthiswordinthatrespect。
PeltriesandJewelries,Isay:hewillnotgivemebackthatParisBillwhichwasprotested;paysmetheother3,000crowns(Draftof650pounds)inJewelsovervaluedbyhalf。——"JewelsfurtivelychangedsincePlaintiffhadthemofme!"answersHirsch;——andthesteadyJudgeskeeptheirsievesgoing。
TheonlyDocumentsproducedbyVoltaireareTwo;of19thDECEMBER
andof24thDECEMBER;——whichthereaderhasnotyetseen,butoughtnowtogainsomenotionof,ifpossible。Theyaffectoncemore,asthatofDecember16thhaddone,tobe"FinalSettlements"(orFinalSettlementof19th,withCODICILof24th);andturnonconfusedListsofJewels,bought,returned,re—bought(that"Topazring"
tornfromone’shand,aconspicuousitem),whichnoreaderwouldhavepatiencetounderstand,exceptinthesuccinctform。Letallreadersnotethem,however,——atleastthefirstofthem,thatofDecember19th;especiallythewordswemarkinItalics,whichhavemeritedasadplaceforITinthehistoryofhumansinandmisery。
KleinhasgivenbothDocumentsinengravedfac—simile;wemusthelpourselvesbysimplermethods。Berlin,December19th,1750;
Voltairewrites,Hirschsigns;——andtheItalicsarebelievedtobewordsfoistedinbyM。deVoltaire,weeksafter,whiletheHirschpleadingsweregettingstringent!Read,——averysadmemorialofM。deVoltaire,——
DOCUMENTFIFTH(inVoltaire’shand,writtenattwotimes;andtheoldwritingMENDEDinparts,tosuitthenew!)。——"FORPAYMENTOF
3,000THALERSBYMEDUE,IhavesoldtoM。deVoltaire,atthepricecostingbyestimationandtax,with2percentformycommission["ORGRATIFICATION,"writtenabove],thefollowingDiamonds,taxed[blottedinto"TAXABLE"],ashereadjoined;viz。"——
sevenpiecesofjewelry,pendeloques,&c。,withpriceaffixed,amongwhichistheviolatedTopaz,——"thewholeestimatedbyhim["him"crossedout,and"ME"writtenoverit],being3,640thalers。
Whereupon,receivedfromMonsieurdeVoltaire[whatisverystrange;notintelligiblewithoutstudy!]thesumof2,940thalers,andhehasgivenmebacktheTopaz,with60crownsformytrouble。
——Berlin,19thDecember,1750。"(HithertoinVoltaire’shand;