Iwasconsciousthatitwasmyonlychance,andcandidlyrelatedthewholeaffair,andIendedbysayingthatIshouldnotsurvivemydisgrace。Heconsoledmebypromisingthatmydebtwouldbecancelledinthecourseoftheday,ifIwouldswearnevertoplayagainupontrust。Itookanoathtothateffect,andkissinghishand,Iwentoutforawalk,relievedfromagreatload。Ihadnodoubtthatmyexcellentfatherwouldgivemefivehundredsequinsduringtheday,andIenjoyedmyanticipationthehonourIwouldderive,intheopinionofthelovelycountess,bymyexactitudeandpromptdischargeofmydebt。Ifeltthatitgavenewstrengthtomyhopes,andthatfeelingpreventedmefromregrettingmyheavyloss,butgratefulforthegreatgenerosityofmybenefactorIwasfullydeterminedonkeepingmypromise。
Idinedwiththethreefriends,andthematterwasnotevenalludedto;but,aswewererisingfromthetable,aservantbroughtM。deBragadinaletterandaparcel。
Hereadtheletter,askedmetofollowhimintohisstudy,andthemomentwewerealone,hesaid;
"Hereisaparcelforyou。"
Iopenedit,andfoundsomefortysequins。Seeingmysurprise,M。
deBragadinlaughedmerrilyandhandedmetheletter,thecontentsofwhichranthus:
"M。deCasanovamaybesurethatourplayinglastnightwasonlyajoke:heowesmenothing。Mywifebegstosendhimhalfofthegoldwhichhehaslostincash。
"COUNTRINALDI。"
IlookedatM。deBragadin,perfectlyamazed,andheburstoutlaughing。Iguessedthetruth,thankedhim,andembracinghimtenderlyIpromisedtobewiserforthefuture。ThemistIhadbeforemyeyeswasdispelled,Ifeltthatmylovewasdefunct,andI
remainedratherashamed,whenIrealizedthatIhadbeenthedupeofthewifeaswellasofthehusband。
"Thisevening,"saidmycleverphysician,"youcanhaveagaysupperwiththecharmingcountess。"
"Thisevening,mydear,respectedbenefactor,Iwillhavesupperwithyou。Youhavegivenmeamasterlylesson。"
"Thenexttimeyoulosemoneyupontrust,youhadbetternotpayit。"
"ButIshouldbedishonoured。"
"Nevermind。Thesooneryoudishonouryourself,themoreyouwillsave,foryouwillalwaysbecompelledtoacceptyourdishonourwheneveryoufindyourselfutterlyunabletopayyourlosses。Itisthereforemoreprudentnottowaituntilthen。"
"Itismuchbetterstilltoavoidthatfatalimpossibilitybyneverplayingotherwisethanwithmoneyinhand。"
"Nodoubtofit,forthenyouwillsavebothyourhonourandyourpurse。But,asyouarefondofgamesofchance,Iadviseyounevertopunt。Makethebank,andtheadvantagemustbeonyourside。"
"Yes,butonlyaslightadvantage。"
"Asslightasyouplease,butitwillbeonyourside,andwhenthegameisoveryouwillfindyourselfawinnerandnotaloser。Thepunterisexcited,thebankeriscalm。Thelastsays,’Ibetyoudonotguess,’whilethefirstsays,’IbetIcanguess。’Whichisthefool,andwhichisthewiseman?Thequestioniseasilyanswered。I
adjureyoutobeprudent,butifyoushouldpuntandwin,recollectthatyouareonlyanidiotifattheendyoulose。"
"Whyanidiot?Fortuneisveryfickle。"
"Itmustnecessarilybeso;itisanaturalconsequence。Leaveoffplaying,believeme,theverymomentyouseeluckturning,evenifyoushould,atthatmoment,winbutonegroat。"
IhadreadPlato,andIwasastonishedatfindingamanwhocouldreasonlikeSocrates。
Thenextday,ZawoiskicalledonmeveryearlytotellmethatIhadbeenexpectedtosupper,andthatCountRinaldihadpraisedmypromptnessinpayingmydebtsofhonour。Ididnotthinkitnecessarytoundeceivehim,butIdidnotgoagaintoCountRinaldi’s,whomIsawsixteenyearsafterwardsinMilan。AstoZawoiski,IdidnottellhimthestorytillImethiminCarlsbad,oldanddeaf,fortyyearslater。
Threeorfourmonthslater,M。deBragadintaughtmeanotherofhismasterlylessons。Ihadbecomeacquainted,throughZawoiski,withaFrenchmancalledL’Abbadie,whowasthensolicitingfromtheVenetianGovernmenttheappointmentofinspectorofthearmiesoftheRepublic。Thesenateappointed,andIpresentedhimtomyprotector,whopromisedhimhisvote;butthecircumstanceIamgoingtorelatepreventedhimfromfulfillinghispromise。
Iwasinneedofonehundredsequinstodischargeafewdebts,andI
beggedM。deBragadintogivethemtome。
"Why,mydearson,doyounotaskM。del’Abbadietorenderyouthatservice?"
"Ishouldnotdaretodoso,dearfather。"
"Tryhim;Iamcertainthathewillbegladtolendyouthatsum。"
"Idoubtit,butIwilltry。"
IcalleduponL’Abbadieonthefollowingday,andafterashortexchangeofcomplimentsItoldhimtheserviceIexpectedfromhisfriendship。Heexcusedhimselfinaverypolitemanner,drowninghisrefusalinthatseaofcommonplaceswhichpeoplearesuretorepeatwhentheycannotorwillnotobligeafriend。Zawoiskicameinashewasstillapologizing,andIleftthemtogether。IhurriedatoncetoM。deBragadin,andtoldhimmywantofsuccess。HemerelyremarkedthattheFrenchmanwasdeficientinintelligence。
Itjusthappenedthatitwastheverydayonwhichtheappointmentoftheinspectorshipwastobebroughtbeforethesenate。Iwentouttoattendtomybusiness(Ioughttosaytomypleasure),andasIdidnotreturnhometillaftermidnightIwenttobedwithoutseeingmyfather。InthemorningIsaidinhispresencethatIintendedtocalluponL’Abbadietocongratulatehimuponhisappointment。
"Youmayspareyourselfthattrouble;thesenatehasrejectedhisnomination。"
"Howso?ThreedaysagoL’Abbadiefeltsureofhissuccess。"
"Hewasrightthen,forhewouldhavebeenappointedifIhadnotmadeupmymindtospeakagainsthim。Ihaveprovedtothesenatethatarightpolicyforbadethegovernmenttotrustsuchanimportantposttoaforeigner。"
"Iammuchsurprised,foryourexcellencywasnotofthatopinionthedaybeforeyesterday。"
"Verytrue,butthenIdidnotknowM。del’Abbadie。Ifoundoutonlyyesterdaythatthemanwasnotsufficientlyintelligenttofillthepositionhewassoliciting。Ishelikelytopossessasanejudgmentwhenherefusestolendyouonehundredsequins?Thatrefusalhascosthimanimportantappointmentandanincomeofthreethousandcrowns,whichwouldnowbehis。"
WhenIwastakingmywalkonthesamedayImetZawoiskiwithL’Abbadie,anddidnottrytoavoidthem。L’Abbadiewasfurious,andhehadsomereasontobeso。
"Ifyouhadtoldme,"hesaidangrily,"thattheonehundredsequinswereintendedasagagtostopM。deBragadin’smouth,Iwouldhavecontrivedtoprocurethemforyou。"
"Ifyouhadhadaninspector’sbrainsyouwouldhaveeasilyguessedit。"
TheFrenchman’sresentmentprovedveryusefultome,becauseherelatedthecircumstancetoeverybody。Theresultwasthatfromthattimethosewhowantedthepatronageofthesenatorappliedtome。
Commentisneedless;thissortofthinghaslongbeeninexistence,andwilllongremainso,becauseveryoften,toobtainthehighestoffavours,allthatisnecessaryistoobtainthegood—willofaminister’sfavouriteorevenofhisvalet。Mydebtsweresoonpaid。
ItwasaboutthattimethatmybrotherJeancametoVenicewithGuarienti,aconvertedJew,agreatjudgeofpaintings,whowastravellingattheexpenseofHisMajestytheKingofPoland,andElectorofSaxony。ItwastheconvertedJewwhohadpurchasedforHisMajestythegalleryoftheDukeofModenaforonehundredthousandsequins。GuarientiandmybrotherleftVeniceforRome,whereJeanremainedinthestudioofthecelebratedpainterRaphaelMengs,whomweshallmeetagainhereafter。
Now,asafaithfulhistorian,ImustgivemyreadersthestoryofacertainadventureinwhichwereinvolvedthehonourandhappinessofoneofthemostcharmingwomeninItaly,whowouldhavebeenunhappyifIhadnotbeenathoughtlessfellow。
IntheearlypartofOctober,1746,thetheatresbeingopened,IwaswalkingaboutwithmymaskonwhenIperceivedawoman,whoseheadwaswellenvelopedinthehoodofhermantle,gettingoutoftheFerrarabargewhichhadjustarrived。Seeingheralone,andobservingheruncertainwalk,Ifeltmyselfdrawntowardsherasifanunseenhandhadguidedme。
Icomeuptoher,andoffermyservicesifIcanbeofanyusetoher。Sheanswerstimidlythatsheonlywantstomakesomeenquiries。
"Wearenothereintherightplaceforconversation,"Isaytoher;
"butifyouwouldbekindenoughtocomewithmetoacaf?youwouldbeabletospeakandtoexplainyourwishes。"
Shehesitates,Iinsist,andshegivesway。Thetavernwascloseathand;wegoin,andarealoneinaprivateroom。Itakeoffmymask,andoutofpolitenessshemustputdownthehoodofhermantle。A
largemuslinhead—dressconcealshalfofherface,buthereyes,hernose,andherprettymouthareenoughtoletmeseeonherfeaturesbeauty,nobleness,sorrow,andthatcandourwhichgivesyouthsuchanundefinablecharm。Ineednotsaythat,withsuchagoodletterofintroduction,theunknownatoncecaptivatedmywarmestinterest。
Afterwipingawayafewtearswhichareflowing,inspiteofallherefforts,shetellsmethatshebelongstoanoblefamily,thatshehasrunawayfromherfather’shouse,alone,trustinginGod,tomeetaVenetiannoblemanwhohadseducedherandthendeceivedher,thussealinghereverlastingmisery。
"Youhavethensomehopeofrecallinghimtothepathofduty?I
supposehehaspromisedyoumarriage?"
"Hehasengagedhisfaithtomeinwriting。TheonlyfavourIclaimfromyourkindnessistotakemetohishouse,toleavemethere,andtokeepmysecret。"
"Youmaytrust,madam,tothefeelingsofamanofhonour。Iamworthyofyourtrust。Haveentireconfidenceinme,forIalreadytakeadeepinterestinallyourconcerns。Tellmehisname。"
"Alas!sir,Igivewaytofate。"
Withthesewords,shetakesoutofherbosomapaperwhichshegivesme;IrecognizethehandwritingofZanettoSteffani。Itwasapromiseofmarriagebywhichheengagedhiswordofhonourtomarrywithinaweek,inVenice,theyoungcountessA————S————。WhenI
havereadthepaper,Ireturnittoher,sayingthatIknewthewriterquitewell,thathewasconnectedwiththechancellor’soffice,knownasagreatlibertine,anddeeplyindebt,butthathewouldberichafterhismother’sdeath。
"ForGod’ssaketakemetohishouse。"
"Iwilldoanythingyouwish;buthaveentireconfidenceinme,andbegoodenoughtohearme。Iadviseyounottogotohishouse。Hehasalreadydoneyougreatinjury,and,evensupposingthatyoushouldhappentofindhimathome,hemightbecapableofreceivingyoubadly;ifheshouldnotbeathome,itismostlikelythathismotherwouldnotexactlywelcomeyou,ifyoushouldtellherwhoyouareandwhatisyourerrand。Trusttome,andbequitecertainthatGodhassentmeonyourwaytoassistyou。Ipromiseyouthatto—morrowatthelatestyoushallknowwhetherSteffaniisinVenice,whatheintendstodowithyou,andwhatwemaycompelhimtodo。
UntilthenmyadviceisnottolethimknowyourarrivalinVenice。"
"GoodGod!whereshallIgoto—night?"
"Toarespectablehouse,ofcourse。"
"Iwillgotoyours,ifyouaremarried。"
"Iamabachelor。"
Iknewanhonestwidowwhoresidedinalane,andwhohadtwofurnishedrooms。Ipersuadetheyoungcountesstofollowme,andwetakeagondola。Asweareglidingalong,shetellsmethat,onemonthbefore,Steffanihadstoppedinherneighbourhoodfornecessaryrepairstohistravelling—carriage,andthat,onthesamedayhehadmadeheracquaintanceatahousewhereshehadgonewithhermotherforthepurposeofofferingtheircongratulationstoanewly—marriedlady。
"Iwasunfortunateenough,"shecontinued,"toinspirehimwithlove,andhepostponedhisdeparture。HeremainedonemonthinC————,nevergoingoutbutintheevening,andspendingeverynightundermywindowsconversingwithme。Hesworeathousandtimesthatheadoredme,thathisintentionswerehonourable。Ientreatedhimtopresenthimselftomyparentstoaskmeinmarriage,buthealwaysexcusedhimselfbyallegingsomereason,goodorbad,assuringmethathecouldnotbehappyunlessIshewedhimentireconfidence。Hewouldbegofmetomakeupmymindtorunawaywithhim,unknowntoeverybody,promisingthatmyhonourshouldnotsufferfromsuchastep,because,threedaysaftermydeparture,everybodyshouldreceivenoticeofmybeinghiswife,andheassuredmethathewouldbringmebackonavisittomynativeplaceshortlyafterourmarriage。Alas,sir!whatshallIsaynow?Loveblindedme;Ifellintotheabyss;Ibelievedhim;Iagreedtoeverything。Hegavemethepaperwhichyouhaveread,andthefollowingnightIallowedhimtocomeintomyroomthroughthewindowunderwhichhewasinthehabitofconversingwithme。
IconsentedtobeguiltyofacrimewhichIbelievedwouldbeatonedforwithinthreedays,andheleftme,promisingthatthenextnighthewouldbeagainundermywindow,readytoreceivemeinhisarms。
CouldIpossiblyentertainanydoubtafterthefearfulcrimeIhadcommittedforhim?Ipreparedasmallparcel,andwaitedforhiscoming,butinvain。Oh!whatacruellongnightitwas!InthemorningIheardthatthemonsterhadgoneawaywithhisservantonehouraftersealingmyshame。Youmayimaginemydespair!Iadoptedtheonlyplanthatdespaircouldsuggest,andthat,ofcourse,wasnottherightone。OnehourbeforemidnightIleftmyfather’sroof,alone,thuscompletingmydishonour,butresolvedondeath,ifthemanwhohascruellyrobbedmeofmymostprecioustreasure,andwhomanaturalinstincttoldmeIcouldfindhere,doesnotrestoremethehonourwhichhealonecangivemeback。Iwalkedallnightandnearlythewholeday,withouttakinganyfood,untilIgotintothebarge,whichbroughtmehereintwenty—fourhours。Itravelledintheboatwithfivemenandtwowomen,butnoonesawmyfaceorheardmyvoice,Ikeptconstantlysittingdowninacorner,holdingmyheaddown,halfasleep,andwiththisprayer—bookinmyhands。Iwasleftalone,noonespoketome,andIthankedGodforit。WhenIlandedonthewharf,youdidnotgivemetimetothinkhowIcouldfindoutthedwellingofmyperfidiousseducer,butyoumayimaginetheimpressionproduceduponmebythesuddenapparitionofamaskedmanwho,abruptly,andasifplacedtherepurposelybyProvidence,offeredmehisservices;itseemedtomethatyouhadguessedmydistress,and,farfromexperiencinganyrepugnance,IfeltthatI
wasactingrightlyintrustingmyselfinyourhands,inspiteofallprudencewhich,perhaps,oughttohavemademeturnadeafeartoyourwords,andrefusetheinvitationtoenteralonewithyouthehousetowhichyoutookme。
"Youknowallnow,sir;butIentreatyounottojudgemetooseverely;Ihavebeenvirtuousallthroughmylife;onemonthagoI
hadnevercommittedafaultwhichcouldcallablushuponmyface,andthebittertearswhichIshedeverydaywill,Ihope,washoutmycrimeintheeyesofGod。Ihavebeencarefullybroughtup,butloveandthewantofexperiencehavethrownmeintotheabyss。Iaminyourhands,andIfeelcertainthatIshallhavenocausetorepentit。"
Ineededallshehadjusttold’metoconfirmmeintheinterestwhichIhadfeltinherfromthefirstmoment。ItoldherunsparinglythatSteffanihadseducedandabandonedherofmaliceaforethought,andthatsheoughttothinkofhimonlytoberevengedofhisperfidy。Mywordsmadehershudder,andsheburiedherbeautifulfaceinherhands。
Wereachedthewidow’shouse。Iestablishedherinapretty,comfortableroom,andorderedsomesupperforher,desiringthegoodlandladytoskewhereveryattentionandtoletherwantfornothing。
Ithentookanaffectionateleaveofher,promisingtoseeherearlyinthemorning。
Onleavingthisinterestingbuthaplessgirl,IproceededtothehouseofSteffani。Iheardfromoneofhismother’sgondoliersthathehadreturnedtoVenicethreedaysbefore,butthat,twenty—fourhoursafterhisreturn,hehadgoneawayagainwithoutanyservant,andnobodyknewhiswhereabouts,notevenhismother。Thesameevening,happeningtobeseatednexttoanabbefromBolognaatthetheatre,Iaskedhimseveralquestionsrespectingthefamilyofmyunfortunateprotegee。
Theabbebeingintimatelyacquaintedwiththem,IgatheredfromhimalltheinformationIrequired,and,amongstotherthings,Iheardthattheyoungcountesshadabrother,thenanofficerinthepapalservice。
VeryearlythenextmorningIcalleduponher。Shewasstillasleep。
Thewidowtoldmethatshehadmadeaprettygoodsupper,butwithoutspeakingasingleword,andthatshehadlockedherselfupinherroomimmediatelyafterwards。Assoonasshehadopenedherdoor,I
enteredherroom,and,cuttingshortherapologiesforhavingkeptmewaiting,IinformedherofallIhadheard。
Herfeaturesborethestampofdeepsorrow,butshelookedcalmer,andhercomplexionwasnolongerpale。ShethoughtitunlikelythatSteffaniwouldhaveleftforanyotherplacebutforC—————。
Admittingthepossibilitythatshemightberight,IimmediatelyofferedtogotoC—————myself,andtoreturnwithoutlossoftimetofetchher,incaseSteffanishouldbethere。WithoutgivinghertimetoanswerItoldheralltheparticularsIhadlearnedconcerningherhonourablefamily,whichcausedherrealsatisfaction。
"Ihavenoobjection,"shesaid,"toyourgoingtoC————,andIthankyouforthegenerosityofyouroffer,butIbegyouwillpostponeyourjourney。IstillhopethatSteffaniwillreturn,andthenIcantakeadecision。"
"Ithinkyouarequiteright,"Isaid。"Willyouallowmetohavesomebreakfastwithyou?"
"DoyousupposeIcouldrefuseyou?"
"Ishouldbeverysorrytodisturbyouinanyway。Howdidyouusetoamuseyourselfathome?"
"Iamveryfondofbooksandmusic;myharpsichordwasmydelight。"
Ileftherafterbreakfast,andintheeveningIcamebackwithabasketfullofgoodbooksandmusic,andIsentheranexcellentharpsichord。Mykindnessconfusedher,butIsurprisedhermuchmorewhenItookoutofmypocketthreepairsofslippers。Sheblushed,andthankedmewithgreatfeeling。Shehadwalkedalongdistance,hershoeswereevidentlywornout,herfeetsore,andsheappreciatedthedelicacyofmypresent。AsIhadnoimproperdesignwithregardtoher,Ienjoyedhergratitude,andfeltpleasedattheideasheevidentlyentertainedofmykindattentions。Ihadnootherpurposeinviewbuttorestorecalmtohermind,andtoobliteratethebadopinionwhichtheunworthySteffanihadgivenherofmeningeneral。
Ineverthoughtofinspiringherwithloveforme,andIhadnottheslightestideathatIcouldfallinlovewithher。Shewasunhappy,andherunhappiness——asacredthinginmyeyes——calledallthemoreformymosthonourablesympathy,because,withoutknowingme,shehadgivenmeherentireconfidence。Situatedasshewas,Icouldnotsupposeherheartsusceptibleofharbouringanewaffection,andI
wouldhavedespisedmyselfifIhadtriedtoseduceherbyanymeansinmypower。
Iremainedwithheronlyaquarterofanhour,beingunwillingthatmypresenceshouldtroubleheratsuchamoment,assheseemedtobeatalosshowtothankmeandtoexpressallhergratitude。
Iwasthusengagedinaratherdelicateadventure,theendofwhichI
couldnotpossiblyforesee,butmywarmthformyprot1geedidnotcooldown,andhavingnodifficultyinprocuringthemeanstokeepherIhadnowishtoseethelastsceneoftheromance。Thatsingularmeeting,whichgavemetheusefulopportunityoffindingmyselfendowedwithgenerousdispositions,strongereventhanmyloveforpleasure,flatteredmyself—lovemorethanIcouldexpress。I
wasthentryingagreatexperiment,andconsciousthatIwantedsadlytostudymyself,Igaveupallmyenergiestoacquirethegreatscienceofthe’xxxxxxxxxxxx’。
Onthethirdday,inthemidstofexpressionsofgratitudewhichI
couldnotsucceedinstoppingshetoldmethatshecouldnotconceivewhyIshewedhersomuchsympathy,becauseIoughttohaveformedbutapooropinionofherinconsequenceofthereadinesswithwhichshehadfollowedmeintothecaf?ShesmiledwhenIansweredthatI
couldnotunderstandhowIhadsucceededingivinghersogreataconfidenceinmyvirtue,whenIappearedbeforeherwithamaskonmyface,inacostumewhichdidnotindicateaveryvirtuouscharacter。
"Itwaseasyforme,madam,"Icontinued,"toguessthatyouwereabeautyindistress,whenIobservedyouryouth,thenoblenessofyourcountenance,and,morethanall,yourcandour。ThestampoftruthwassowellaffixedtothefirstwordsyouutteredthatIcouldnothavetheshadowofadoubtleftinmeastoyourbeingtheunhappyvictimofthemostnaturalofallfeelings,andastoyourhavingabandonedyourhomethroughasentimentofhonour。Yourfaultwasthatofawarmheartseducedbylove,overwhichreasoncouldhavenosway,andyourflight——theactionofasoulcryingforreparationorforrevenge—fullyjustifiesyou。Yourcowardlyseducermustpaywithhislifethepenaltyduetohiscrime,andheoughtnevertoreceive,bymarryingyou,anunjustreward,forheisnotworthyofpossessingyouafterdegradinghimselfbythevilestconduct。"
"Everythingyousayistrue。Mybrother,Ihope,willavengeme。"
"YouaregreatlymistakenifyouimaginethatSteffaniwillfightyourbrother;Steffaniisacowardwhowillneverexposehimselftoanhonourabledeath。"
AsIwasspeaking,sheputherhandinherpocketanddrewforth,afterafewmoments’consideration,astilettosixincheslong,whichsheplacedonthetable。
"Whatisthis?"Iexclaimed。
"ItisaweaponuponwhichIreckoneduntilnowtouseagainstmyselfincaseIshouldnotsucceedinobtainingreparationforthecrimeI
havecommitted。Butyouhaveopenedmyeyes。Takeaway,Ientreatyou,thisstiletto,whichhenceforthisuselesstome。Itrustinyourfriendship,andIhaveaninwardcertaintythatIshallbeindebtedtoyouformyhonouraswellasformylife。"
Iwasstruckbythewordsshehadjustuttered,andIfeltthatthosewords,aswellasherlooks,hadfoundtheirwaytomyheart,besidesenlistingmygeneroussympathy。Itookthestiletto,andleftherwithsomuchagitationthatIhadtoacknowledgetheweaknessofmyheroism,whichIwasverynearturningintoridicule;yetIhadthewonderfulstrengthtoperform,atleastbyhalves,thecharacterofaCatountiltheseventhday。
Imustexplainhowacertainsuspicionoftheyoungladyaroseinmymind。Thatdoubtwasheavyonmyheart,for,ifithadprovedtrue,Ishouldhavebeenadupe,andtheideawashumiliating。Shehadtoldmethatshewasamusician;Ihadimmediatelysentheraharpsichord,and,yet,althoughtheinstrumenthadbeenatherdisposalforthreedays,shehadnotopeneditonce,forthewidowhadtoldmeso。Itseemedtomethatthebestwaytothankmeformyattentivekindnesswouldhavebeentogivemeaspecimenofhermusicaltalent。Hadshedeceivedme?Ifso,shewouldlosemyesteem。But,unwillingtoformahastyjudgment,Ikeptonmyguard,withafirmdeterminationtomakegooduseofthefirstopportunitythatmightpresentitselftoclearupmydoubts。
Icalleduponherthenextdayafterdinner,whichwasnotmyusualtime,havingresolvedoncreatingtheopportunitymyself。Icaughtherseatedbeforeatoilet—glass,whilethewidowdressedthemostbeautifulauburnhairIhadeverseen。Itenderedmyapologiesformysuddenappearanceatanunusualhour;sheexcusedherselffornothavingcompletedhertoilet,andthewidowwentonwithherwork。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadseenthewholeofherface,herneck,andhalfofherarms,whichthegracesthemselveshadmoulded。I
remainedinsilentcontemplation。Ipraised,quitebychance,theperfumeofthepomatum,andthewidowtooktheopportunityoftellingherthatshehadspentincombs,powder,andpomatumthethreelivresshehadreceivedfromher。IrecollectedthenthatshehadtoldmethefirstdaythatshehadleftC—————withtenpaoli。
Iblushedforveryshame,forIoughttohavethoughtofthat。
Assoonasthewidowhaddressedherhair,shelefttheroomtopreparesomecoffeeforus。Itookuparingwhichhadbeenlaidbyheronthetoilet—table,andIsawthatitcontainedaportraitexactlylikeher;Iwasamusedatthesingularfancyshehadhadofhavingherlikenesstakeninaman’scostume,withblackhair。"Youaremistaken,"shesaid,"itisaportraitofmybrother。HeistwoyearsolderthanI,andisanofficerinthepapalarmy。"
Ibeggedherpermissiontoputtheringonherfinger;sheconsented,andwhenItried,outofmeregallantry,tokissherhand,shedrewitback,blushing。Ifearedshemightbeoffended,andIassuredherofmyrespect。
"Ah,sir!"sheanswered,"inthesituationinwhichIamplaced,I
mustthinkofdefendingmyselfagainstmyownselfmuchmorethanagainstyou。"
Thecomplimentstruckmeassofine,andsocomplimentarytome,thatIthoughtitbetternottotakeitup,butshecouldeasilyreadinmyeyesthatshewouldneverfindmeungratefulforwhateverfeelingsshemightentertaininmyfavour。YetIfeltmylovetakingsuchproportionsthatIdidnotknowhowtokeepitamysteryanylonger。
Soonafterthat,asshewasagainthankingmeforthebooks——Ihadgivenher,sayingthatIhadguessedhertasteexactly,becauseshedidnotlikenovels,sheadded,"Ioweyouanapologyfornothavingsungtoyouyet,knowingthatyouarefondofmusic。"Thesewordsmademebreathefreely;withoutwaitingforanyanswer,shesatdownbeforetheinstrumentandplayedseveralpieceswithafacility,withaprecision,withanexpressionofwhichnowordscouldconveyanyidea。Iwasinecstacy。Ientreatedhertosing;aftersomelittleceremony,shetookoneofthemusicbooksIhadgivenher,andshesangatsightinamannerwhichfairlyravishedme。Ibeggedthatshewouldallowmetokissherhand,andshedidnotsayyes,butwhenItookitandpressedmylipsonit,shedidnotopposeanyresistance;Ihadthecouragetosmothermyardentdesires,andthekissIimprintedonherlovelyhandwasamixtureoftenderness,respect,andadmiration。
Itookleaveofher,smitten,fulloflove,andalmostdeterminedondeclaringmypassion。Reservebecomessillinesswhenweknowthatouraffectionisreturnedbythewomanwelove,butasyetIwasnotquitesure。
ThedisappearanceofSteffaniwasthetalkofVenice,butIdidnotinformthecharmingcountessofthatcircumstance。Itwasgenerallysupposedthathismotherhadrefusedtopayhisdebts,andthathehadrunawaytoavoidhiscreditors。Itwasverypossible。But,whetherhereturnedornot,IcouldnotmakeupmymindtolosetheprecioustreasureIhadinmyhands。YetIdidnotseeinwhatmanner,inwhatquality,Icouldenjoythattreasure,andIfoundmyselfinaregularmaze。SometimesIhadanideaofconsultingmykindfather,butIwouldsoonabandonitwithfear,forIhadmadeatrialofhisempirictreatmentintheRinaldiaffair,andstillmoreinthecaseofl’Abbadie。HisremediesfrightenedmetothatextentthatIwouldratherremainillthanbecuredbytheirmeans。
OnemorningIwasfoolishenoughtoenquirefromthewidowwhethertheladyhadaskedherwhoIwas。Whatanegregiousblunder!Isawitwhenthegoodwoman,insteadofansweringme,said,"Doesshenotknowwhoyouare?"
"Answerme,anddonotaskquestions,"Isaid,inordertohidemyconfusion。
Theworthywomanwasright;throughmystupidityshewouldnowfeelcurious;thetittle—tattleoftheneighbourhoodwouldofcoursetakeuptheaffairanddiscussit;andallthroughmythoughtlessness!Itwasanunpardonableblunder。Oneoughtnevertobemorecarefulthaninaddressingquestionstohalf—educatedpersons。Duringthefortnightthatshehadpassedundermyprotection,thecountesshadshewnmenocuriositywhatevertoknowanythingaboutme,butitdidnotprovethatshewasnotcuriousonthesubject。IfIhadbeenwise,IshouldhavetoldhertheveryfirstdaywhoIwas,butImadeupformymistakethateveningbetterthananybodyelsecouldhavedoneit,and,afterhavingtoldherallaboutmyself,Ientreatedherforgivenessfornothavingdonesosooner。Thankingmeformyconfidence,sheconfessedhowcuriousshehadbeentoknowmebetter,andsheassuredmethatshewouldneverhavebeenimprudentenoughtoaskanyquestionsaboutmefromherlandlady。Womenhaveamoredelicate,asurertactthanmen,andherlastwordswereahome—
thrustforme。
OurconversationhavingturnedtotheextraordinaryabsenceofSteffani,shesaidthatherfathermustnecessarilybelievehertobehidingwithhimsomewhere。"Hemusthavefoundout,"sheadded,"thatIwasinthehabitofconversingwithhimeverynightfrommywindow,andhemusthaveheardofmyhavingembarkedforVeniceonboardtheFerrarabarge。IfeelcertainthatmyfatherisnowinVenice,makingsecretlyeveryefforttodiscoverme。WhenhevisitsthiscityhealwaysputsupatBoncousin;willyouascertainwhetherheisthere?"
SheneverpronouncedSteffani’snamewithoutdisgustandhatred,andshesaidshewouldburyherselfinaconvent,farawayfromhernativeplace,wherenoonecouldbeacquaintedwithhershamefulhistory。
Iintendedtomakesomeenquiriesthenextday,butitwasnotnecessaryformetodoso,forintheevening,atsupper—time,M。
Barbarosaidtous,"Anobleman,asubjectofthePope,hasbeenrecommendedtome,andwishesmetoassisthimwithmyinfluenceinaratherdelicateandintricatematter。Oneofourcitizenshas,itappears,carriedoffhisdaughter,andhasbeenhidingsomewherewithherforthelastfortnight,butnobodyknowswhere。TheaffairoughttobebroughtbeforetheCouncilofTen,butthemotheroftheravisherclaimstobearelativeofmine,andIdonotintendtointerfere。"
IpretendedtotakenointerestinM。Barbaro’swords,andearlythenextmorningIwenttotheyoungcountesstotellhertheinterestingnews。Shewasstillasleep;but,beinginahurry,IsentthewidowtosaythatIwantedtoseeheronlyfortwominutesinordertocommunicatesomethingofgreatimportance。Shereceivedme,coveringherselfuptothechinwiththebed—clothes。
AssoonasIhadinformedherofallIknew,sheentreatedmetoenlistM。Barbaroasamediatorbetweenherselfandherfather,assuringmethatshewouldratherdiethanbecomethewifeofthemonsterwhohaddishonouredher。Iundertooktodoit,andshegavemethepromiseofmarriageusedbythedeceivertoseduceher,sothatitcouldbeshewntoherfather。
InordertoobtainM。Barbaro’smediationinfavouroftheyoungcountess,itwouldhavebeennecessarytotellhimthatshewasundermyprotection,andIfeltitwouldinjuremyprotegee。Itooknodeterminationatfirst,andmostlikelyoneofthereasonsformyhesitationwasthatIsawmyselfonthepointoflosingher,whichwasparticularlyrepugnanttomyfeelings。
AfterdinnerCountA———S————wasannouncedaswishingtoseeM。
Barbaro。Hecameinwithhisson,thelivingportraitofhissister。
M。Barbarotookthemtohisstudytotalkthematterover,andwithinanhourtheyhadtakenleave。Assoonastheyhadgone,theexcellentM。Barbaroaskedme,asIhadexpected,toconsultmyheavenlyspirit,andtoascertainwhetherhewouldberightininterferinginfavourofCountA———S———。Hewrotethequestionhimself,andIgavethefollowinganswerwiththeutmostcoolness:
"Yououghttointerfere,butonlytoadvisethefathertoforgivehisdaughterandtogiveupallideaofcompellinghertomarryherravisher,forSteffanihasbeensentencedtodeathbythewillofGod。"
Theanswerseemedwonderfultothethreefriends,andIwasmyselfsurprisedatmyboldness,butIhadaforebodingthatSteffaniwastomeethisdeathatthehandsofsomebody;lovemighthavegivenbirthtothatpresentiment。M。deBragadin,whobelievedmyoracleinfallible,observedthatithadnevergivensuchaclearanswer,andthatSteffaniwascertainlydead。HesaidtoM。deBarbaro,"Youhadbetterinvitethecountandhissontodinnerhereto—morrow。
Youmustactslowlyandprudently;itwouldbenecessarytoknowwherethedaughterisbeforeyouendeavourtomakethefatherforgiveher。"
M。BarbaroverynearlymademedropmyseriouscountenancebytellingmethatifIwouldtrymyoracleIcouldletthemknowatoncewherethegirlwas。IansweredthatIwouldcertainlyaskmyspiritonthemorrow,thusgainingtimeinordertoascertainbeforehandthedispositionofthefatherandofhisson。ButIcouldnothelplaughing,forIhadplacedmyselfunderthenecessityofsendingSteffanitothenextworld,ifthereputationofmyoraclewastobemaintained。
Ispenttheeveningwiththeyoungcountess,whoentertainednodoubteitherofherfather’sindulgenceoroftheentireconfidenceshecouldreposeinme。
WhatdelightthecharminggirlexperiencedwhensheheardthatI
woulddinethenextdaywithherfatherandbrother,andthatIwouldtellhereverywordthatwouldbesaidabouther!Butwhathappinessitwasformetoseeherconvincedthatshewasrightinlovingme,andthat,withoutme,shewouldcertainlyhavebeenlostinatownwherethepolicyofthegovernmenttoleratesdebaucheryasasolitaryspeciesofindividualfreedom。Wecongratulatedeachotheruponourfortuitousmeetingandupontheconformityinourtastes,whichwethoughttrulywonderful。Weweregreatlypleasedthathereasyacceptanceofmyinvitation,ormypromptnessinpersuadinghertofollowandtotrustme,couldnotbeascribedtothemutualattractionofourfeatures,forIwasmasked,andherhoodwasthenasgoodasamask。WeentertainednodoubtthateverythinghadbeenarrangedbyHeaventogetusacquainted,andtofireusboth,evenunknowntoourselves,withloveforeachother。
"Confess,"Isaidtoher,inamomentofenthusiasm,andasIwascoveringherhandwithkisses,"confessthatifyoufoundmetobeinlovewithyouyouwouldfearme。"
"Alas!myonlyfearistoloseyou。"
Thatconfession,thetruthofwhichwasmadeevidentbyhervoiceandbyherlooks,provedtheelectricsparkwhichignitedthelatentfire。Foldingherrapidlyinmyarms,pressingmymouthonherlips,readinginherbeautifuleyesneitheraproudindignationnorthecoldcompliancewhichmighthavebeentheresultofafearoflosingme,Igavewayentirelytothesweetinclinationoflove,andswimmingalreadyinaseaofdelightsIfeltmyenjoymentincreasedahundredfoldwhenIsaw,onthecountenanceofthebelovedcreaturewhosharedit,theexpressionofhappiness,oflove,ofmodesty,andofsensibility,whichenhancesthecharmofthegreatesttriumph。
Shehadscarcelyrecoveredhercomposurewhenshecasthereyesdownandsigheddeeply。ThinkingthatIknewthecauseofit,Ithrewmyselfonmykneesbeforeher,andspeakingtoherwordsofthewarmestaffectionIbegged,Ientreatedher,toforgiveme。
"WhatoffencehaveItoforgiveyoufor,dearfriend?Youhavenotrightlyinterpretedmythoughts。Yourlovecausedmetothinkofmyhappiness,andinthatmomentacruelrecollectiondrewthatsighfromme。Prayrisefromyourknees。"
Midnighthadstruckalready;Itoldherthathergoodfamemadeitnecessaryformetogoaway;Iputmymaskonandleftthehouse。I
wassosurprised,soamazedathavingobtainedafelicityofwhichI
didnotthinkmyselfworthy,thatmydeparturemusthaveappearedratherabrupttoher。Icouldnotsleep。Ipassedoneofthosedisturbednightsduringwhichtheimaginationofanamorousyoungmanisunceasinglyrunningaftertheshadowsofreality。Ihadtasted,butnotsavoured,thathappyreality,andallmybeingwaslongingforherwhoalonecouldmakemyenjoymentcomplete。Inthatnocturnaldramaloveandimaginationwerethetwoprincipalactors;
hope,inthebackground,performedonlyadumbpart。Peoplemaysaywhattheypleaseonthatsubjectbuthopeisinfactnothingbutadeceitfulflattereracceptedbyreasononlybecauseitisofteninneedofpalliatives。Happyarethosemenwho,toenjoylifetothefullestextent,requireneitherhopenorforesight。
Inthemorning,recollectingthesentenceofdeathwhichIhadpassedonSteffani,Ifeltsomewhatembarrassedaboutit。IwishedIcouldhaverecalledit,aswellforthehonourofmyoracle,whichwasseriouslyimplicatedbyit,asforthesakeofSteffanihimself,whomIdidnothatehalfsomuchsinceIwasindebtedtohimforthetreasureinmypossession。
Thecountandhissoncametodinner。Thefatherwassimple,artless,andunceremonious。Itwaseasytoreadonhiscountenancethegriefhefeltattheunpleasantadventureofhisdaughter,andhisanxietytosettletheaffairhonourably,butnoangercouldbetracedonhisfeaturesorinhismanners。Theson,ashandsomeasthegodoflove,hadwitandgreatnobilityofmanner。Hiseasy,unaffectedcarriagepleasedme,andwishingtowinhisfriendshipI
shewedhimeveryattention。
Afterthedessert,M。Barbarocontrivedtopersuadethecountthatwewerefourpersonswithbutoneheadandoneheart,andtheworthynoblemanspoketouswithoutanyreserve。Hepraisedhisdaughterveryhighly。HeassuredusthatSteffanihadneverenteredhishouse,andthereforehecouldnotconceivebywhatspell,speakingtohisdaughteronlyatnightandfromthestreetunderthewindow,hehadsucceededinseducinghertosuchanextentastomakeherleaveherhomealone,onfoot,twodaysafterhehadlefthimselfinhispost—chaise。
"Then,"observedM。Barbaro,"itisimpossibletobecertainthatheactuallyseducedher,ortoprovethatshewentoffwithhim。"
"Verytrue,sir,butalthoughitcannotbeproved,thereisnodoubtofit,andnowthatnooneknowswhereSteffaniis,hecanbenowherebutwithher。Ionlywanthimtomarryher。"
"Itstrikesmethatitwouldbebetternottoinsistuponacompulsorymarriagewhichwouldsealyourdaughter’smisery,forSteffaniis,ineveryrespect,oneofthemostworthlessyoungmenwehaveamongstourgovernmentclerks。"
"WereIinyourplace,"saidM。deBragadin,"Iwouldletmydaughter’srepentancedisarmmyanger,andIwouldforgiveher。"
"Whereisshe?Iamreadytofoldherinmyarms,buthowcanI
believeinherrepentancewhenitisevidentthatsheisstillwithhim。"
"IsitquitecertainthatinleavingC————sheproceededtothiscity?"
"Ihaveitfromthemasterofthebargehimself,andshelandedwithintwentyyardsoftheRomangate。Anindividualwearingamaskwaswaitingforher,joinedheratonce,andtheybothdisappearedwithoutleavinganytraceoftheirwhereabouts。"
"VerylikelyitwasSteffaniwaitingthereforher。"
"No,forheisshort,andthemanwiththemaskwastall。Besides,I
haveheardthatSteffanihadleftVenicetwodaysbeforethearrivalofmydaughter。ThemanmusthavebeensomefriendofSteffani,andhehastakenhertohim。"
"But,mydearcount,allthisismeresupposition。"
"Therearefourpersonswhohaveseenthemanwiththemask,andpretendtoknowhim,onlytheydonotagree。Hereisalistoffournames,andIwillaccusethesefourpersonsbeforetheCouncilofTen,ifSteffanishoulddenyhavingmydaughterinhispossession。"
Thelist,whichhehandedtoM。Barbaro,gavenotonlythenamesofthefouraccusedpersons,butlikewisethoseoftheiraccusers。Thelastname,whichM。Barbaroread,wasmine。WhenIheardit,I
shruggedmyshouldersinamannerwhichcausedthethreefriendstolaughheartily。
M。deBragadin,seeingthesurpriseofthecountatsuchuncalled—
formirth,saidtohim,"ThisisCasanovamyson,andIgiveyoumywordofhonourthat,ifyourdaughterisinhishands,sheisperfectlysafe,althoughhemaynotlookexactlythesortofmantowhomyounggirlsshouldbetrusted。"
Thesurprise,theamazement,andtheperplexityofthecountandhissonwereanamusingpicture。Thelovingfatherbeggedmetoexcusehim,withtearsinhiseyes,tellingmetoplacemyselfinhisposition。Myonlyanswerwastoembracehimmostaffectionately。
ThemanwhohadrecognizedmewasanotedpimpwhomIhadthrashedsometimebeforeforhavingdeceivedme。IfIhadnotbeentherejustintimetotakecareoftheyoungcountess,shewouldnothaveescapedhim,andhewouldhaveruinedherforeverbytakinghertosomehouseofill—fame。
TheresultofthemeetingwasthatthecountagreedtopostponehisapplicationtotheCouncilofTenuntilSteffani’splaceofrefugeshouldbediscovered。
"IhavenotseenSteffaniforsixmonths,sir,"Isaidtothecount,"butIpromiseyoutokillhiminaduelassoonashereturns。"
"Youshallnotdoit,"answeredtheyoungcount,verycoolly,"unlesshekillsmefirst。"
"Gentlemen,"exclaimedM。deBragadin,"Icanassureyouthatyouwillneitherofyoufightaduelwithhim,forSteffaniisdead。"
"Dead!"saidthecount。
"Wemustnot,"observedtheprudentBarbaro,"takethatwordinitsliteralsense,butthewretchedmanisdeadtoallhonourandself—
respect。"
Afterthattrulydramaticscene,duringwhichIcouldguessthatthedenouementoftheplaywasnearathand,Iwenttomycharmingcountess,takingcaretochangemygondolathreetimes——anecessaryprecautiontobafflespies。
Igavemyanxiousmistressanexactaccountofalltheconversation。
Shewasveryimpatientformycoming,andwepttearsofjoywhenI
repeatedherfather’swordsofforgiveness;butwhenItoldherthatnobodyknewofSteffanihavingenteredherchamber,shefellonherkneesandthankedGod。Ithenrepeatedherbrother’swords,imitatinghiscoolness:"Youshallnotkillhim,unlesshekillsmefirst。"Shekissedmetenderly,callingmeherguardianangel,hersaviour,andweepinginmyarms。Ipromisedtobringherbrotheronthefollowingday,orthedayafterthatatthelatest。Wehadoursupper,butwedidnottalkofSteffani,orofrevenge,andafterthatpleasantmealwedevotedtwohourstotheworshipofthegodoflove。
Ileftheratmidnight,promisingtoreturnearlyinthemorning——myreasonfornotremainingallnightwithherwasthatthelandladymight,ifnecessary,swearwithoutscruplethatIhadneverspentanightwiththeyounggirl。Itprovedaveryluckyinspirationofmine,for,whenIarrivedhome,IfoundthethreefriendswaitingimpatientlyformeinordertoimparttomewonderfulnewswhichM。
deBragadinhadheardatthesittingofthesenate。
"Steffani,"saidM。deBragadintome,"isdead,asourangelParalisrevealedittous;heisdeadtotheworld,forhehasbecomeaCapuchinfriar。Thesenate,asamatterofcourse,hasbeeninformedofit。WealoneareawarethatitisapunishmentwhichGodhasvisiteduponhim。LetusworshiptheAuthorofallthings,andtheheavenlyhierarchywhichrendersusworthyofknowingwhatremainsamysterytoallmen。Nowwemustachieveourundertaking,andconsolethepoorfather。WemustenquirefromParaliswherethegirlis。ShecannotnowbewithSteffani。Ofcourse,GodhasnotcondemnedhertobecomeaCapuchinnun。"
"Ineednotconsultmyangel,dearestfather,foritisbyhisexpressordersthatIhavebeencompelleduntilnowtomakeamysteryoftherefugefoundbytheyoungcountess。"
Irelatedthewholestory,exceptwhattheyhadnobusinesstoknow,for,intheopinionoftheworthymen,whohadpaidheavytributetoLove,allintrigueswerefearfulcrimes。M。DandoloandM。Barbaroexpressedtheirsurprisewhentheyheardthattheyounggirlhadbeenundermyprotectionforafortnight,butM。deBragadinsaidthathewasnotastonished,thatitwasaccordingtocabalisticscience,andthatheknewit。
"Wemustonly,"headded,"keepupthemysteryofhisdaughter’splaceofrefugeforthecount,untilweknowforacertaintythathewillforgiveher,andthathewilltakeherwithhimtoC————,ortoanyotherplacewherehemaywishtolivehereafter。"
"Hecannotrefusetoforgiveher,"Isaid,"whenhefindsthattheamiablegirlwouldneverhaveleftC————ifherseducerhadnotgivenherthispromiseofmarriageinhisownhandwriting。Shewalkedasfarasthebarge,andshelandedattheverymomentIwaspassingtheRomangate。Aninspirationfromabovetoldmetoaccostherandtoinvitehertofollowme。Sheobeyed,asifshewasfulfillingthedecreeofHeaven,Itookhertoarefugeimpossibletodiscover,andplacedherunderthecareofaGod—fearingwoman。"
Mythreefriendslistenedtomesoattentivelythattheylookedlikethreestatues。Iadvisedthemtoinvitethecounttodinnerforthedayafternext,becauseIneededsometimetoconsult’Paralisdemodotenendi’。IthentoldM。BarbarotoletthecountknowinwhatsensehewastounderstandSteffani’sdeath。Heundertooktodoit,andweretiredtorest。
Isleptonlyfourorfivehours,and,dressingmyselfquickly,hurriedtomybelovedmistress。Itoldthewidownottoservethecoffeeuntilwecalledforit,becausewewantedtoremainquietandundisturbedforsomehours,havingseveralimportantletterstowrite。
Ifoundthelovelycountessinbed,butawake,andhereyesbeamingwithhappinessandcontentment。ForafortnightIhadonlyseenhersad,melancholy,andthoughtful。Herpleasedcountenance,whichI
naturallyascribedtomyinfluence,filledmewithjoy。Wecommencedasallhappyloversalwaysdo,andwewerebothunsparingofthemutualproofsofourlove,tenderness,andgratitude。
Afterourdelightfulamoroussport,Itoldherthenews,butlovehadsocompletelytakenpossessionofherpureandsensitivesoul,thatwhathadbeenimportantwasnowonlyanaccessory。ButthenewsofherseducerhavingturnedaCapuchinfriarfilledherwithamazement,and,passingverysensibleremarksontheextraordinaryevent,shepitiedSteffani。Whenwecanfeelpity,welovenolonger,butafeelingofpitysucceedingloveisthecharacteristiconlyofagreatandgenerousmind。Shewasmuchpleasedwithmeforhavinginformedmythreefriendsofherbeingundermyprotection,andshelefttomycareallthenecessaryarrangementsforobtainingareconciliationwithherfather。
Nowandthenwerecollectedthatthetimeofourseparationwasnearathand,ourgriefwasbitter,butwecontrivedtoforgetitintheecstacyofouramorousenjoyment。
"Ah!whycanwenotbelongforevertoeachother?"thecharminggirlwouldexclaim。"ItisnotmyacquaintancewithSteffani,itisyourlosswhichwillsealmyeternalmisery。"
Butitwasnecessarytobringourdelightfulinterviewtoaclose,forthehourswereflyingwithfearfulrapidity。Ileftherhappy,hereyeswetwithtearsofintensefelicity。
Atthedinner—tableM。Barbarotoldmethathehadpaidavisittohisrelative,Steffani’smother,andthatshehadnotappearedsorryatthedecisiontakenbyherson,althoughhewasheronlychild。
"Hehadthechoice,"shesaid,"betweenkillinghimselfandturningfriar,andhetookthewisercourse。"
ThewomanspokelikeagoodChristian,andsheprofessedtobeone;
butshespokelikeanunfeelingmother,andshewastrulyone,forshewaswealthy,andifshehadnotbeencruellyavaricioushersonwouldnothavebeenreducedtothefearfulalternativeofcommittingsuicideorofbecomingaCapuchinfriar。
ThelastandmostseriousmotivewhichcausedthedespairofSteffani,whoisstillalive,remainedamysteryforeverybody。MyMemoirswillraisetheveilwhennoonewillcareanythingaboutit。
Thecountandhissonwere,ofcourse,greatlysurprised,andtheeventmadethemstillmoredesirousofdiscoveringtheyounglady。
Inordertoobtainacluetoherplaceofrefuge,thecounthadresolvedonsummoningbeforetheCouncilofTenalltheparties,accusedandaccusing,whosenameshehadonhislist,withtheexceptionofmyself。Hisdeterminationmadeitnecessaryforustoinformhimthathisdaughterwasinmyhands,andM。deBragadinundertooktolethimknowthetruth。
Wewereallinvitedtosupperbythecount,andwewenttohishostelry,withtheexceptionofM。deBragadin,whohaddeclinedtheinvitation。Iwasthuspreventedfromseeingmydivinitythatevening,butearlythenextmorningImadeupforlosttime,andasithadbeendecidedthatherfatherwouldonthatverydaybeinformedofherbeingundermycare,weremainedtogetheruntilnoon。
Wehadnohopeofcontrivinganothermeeting,forIhadpromisedtobringherbrotherintheafternoon。
Thecountandhissondinedwithus,andafterdinnerM。deBragadinsaid,"Ihavejoyfulnewsforyou,count;yourbeloveddaughterhasbeenfound!"
Whatanagreeablesurpriseforthefatherandson!M。deBragadinhandedthemthepromiseofmarriagewrittenbySteffani,andsaid,"This,gentlemen,evidentlybroughtyourlovelyyoungladytothevergeofmadnesswhenshefoundthathehadgonefromC————withouther。Sheleftyourhousealoneonfoot,andasshelandedinVeniceProvidencethrewherinthewayofthisyoungman,whoinducedhertofollowhim,andhasplacedherunderthecareofanhonestwoman,whomshehasnotleftsince,whomshewillleaveonlytofallinyourarmsassoonassheiscertainofyourforgivenessforthefollyshehascommitted。"
"Oh!letherhavenodoubtofmyforgivingher,"exclaimedthefather,intheecstacyofjoy,andturningtome,"Dearsir,Ibegofyounottodelaythefortunatemomentonwhichthewholehappinessofmylifedepends。"
Iembracedhimwarmly,sayingthathisdaughterwouldberestoredtohimonthefollowingday,andthatIwouldlethissonseeherthatveryafternoon,soastogivehimanopportunityofpreparingherbydegreesforthathappyreconciliation。M。Barbarodesiredtoaccompanyus,andtheyoungman,approvingallmyarrangements,embracedme,swearingeverlastingfriendshipandgratitude。
Wewentoutallthreetogether,andagondolacarriedusinafewminutestotheplacewhereIwasguardingatreasuremorepreciousthanthegoldenapplesoftheHesperides。But,alas!Iwasonthepointoflosingthattreasure,theremembranceofwhichcausesme,evennow,adelicioustrembling。
Iprecededmytwocompanionsinordertopreparemylovelyyoungfriendforthevisit,andwhenItoldherthat,accordingtomyarrangements,herfatherwouldnotseehertillonthefollowingday:
"Ah!"sheexclaimedwiththeaccentoftruehappiness,"thenwecanspendafewmorehourstogether!Go,dearest,goandbringmybrother。"
Ireturnedwithmycompanions,buthowcanIpaintthattrulydramaticsituation?Oh!howinferiorartmusteverbetonature!
Thefraternallove,thedelightbeaminguponthosetwobeautifulfaces,withaslightshadeofconfusiononthatofthesister,thepurejoyshininginthemidstoftheirtendercaresses,themosteloquentexclamationsfollowedbyastillmoreeloquentsilence,theirlovinglookswhichseemlikeflashesoflightninginthemidstofadewoftears,athoughtofpolitenesswhichbringsblushesonhercountenance,whensherecollectsthatshehasforgottenherdutytowardsanoblemanwhomsheseesforthefirsttime,andfinallytherewasmypart,notaspeakingone,butyetthemostimportantofall。Thewholeformedalivingpicturetowhichthemostskilfulpaintercouldnothaverenderedfulljustice。
Wesatdownatlast,theyoungcountessbetweenherbrotherandM。
Barbaro,onthesofa,I,oppositetoher,onalowfoot—stool。
"Towhom,dearsister,areweindebtedforthehappinessofhavingfoundyouagain?"
"Tomyguardianangel,"sheanswered,givingmeherhand,"tothisgenerousmanwhowaswaitingforme,asifHeavenhadsenthimwiththespecialmissionofwatchingoveryoursister;itishewhohassavedme,whohaspreventedmefromfallingintothegulfwhichyawnedundermyfeet,whohasrescuedmefromtheshamethreateningme,ofwhichIhadthennoconception;itistohimIamindebtedforall,tohimwho,asyousee,kissesmyhandnowforthefirsttime。"
Andshepressedherhandkerchieftoherbeautifuleyestodryhertears,butourswereflowingatthesametime。
Suchistruevirtue,whichneverlosesitsnobleness,evenwhenmodestycompelsittouttersomeinnocentfalsehood。Butthecharminggirlhadnoideaofbeingguiltyofanuntruth。Itwasapure,virtuoussoulwhichwasthenspeakingthroughherlips,andsheallowedittospeak。Hervirtueseemedtowhispertoherthat,inspiteofhererrors,ithadneverdesertedher。Ayounggirlwhogiveswaytoarealfeelingoflovecannotbeguiltyofacrime,orbeexposedtoremorse。
Towardstheendofourfriendlyvisit,shesaidthatshelongedtothrowherselfatherfather’sfeet,butthatshewishedtoseehimonlyintheevening,soasnottogiveanyopportunitytothegossipsoftheplace,anditwasagreedthatthemeeting,whichwastobethelastsceneofthedrama,shouldtakeplacethenextdaytowardstheevening。
Wereturnedtothecount’shostelryforsupper,andtheexcellentman,fullypersuadedthathewasindebtedtomeforhishonouraswellasforhisdaughter’s,lookedatmewithadmiration,andspoketomewithgratitude。Yethewasnotsorrytohaveascertainedhimself,andbeforeIhadsaidso,thatIhadbeenthefirstmanwhohadspokentoherafterlanding。Beforepartingintheevening,M。
Barbaroinvitedthemtodinnerforthenextday。
Iwenttomycharmingmistressveryearlythefollowingmorning,and,althoughtherewassomedangerinprotractingourinterview,wedidnotgiveitathought,or,ifwedid,itonlycausedustomakegooduseoftheshorttimethatwecouldstilldevotetolove。
Afterhavingenjoyed,untilourstrengthwasalmostexpiring,themostdelightful,themostintensevoluptuousnessinwhichmutualardourcanenfoldtwoyoung,vigorous,andpassionatelovers,theyoungcountessdressedherself,and,kissingherslippers,saidshewouldneverpartwiththemaslongasshelived。Iaskedhertogivemealockofherhair,whichshedidatonce。ImeanttohaveitmadeintoachainliketheonewovenwiththehairofMadameF————,whichIstillworeroundmyneck。
Towardsdusk,thecountandhisson,M。Dandolo,M。Barbaro,andmyself,proceededtogethertotheabodeoftheyoungcountess。Themomentshesawherfather,shethrewherselfonherkneesbeforehim,butthecount,burstingintotears,tookherinhisarms,coveredherwithkisses,andbreathedoverherwordsofforgiveness,ofloveandblessing。Whatasceneforamanofsensibility!Anhourlaterweescortedthefamilytotheinn,and,afterwishingthemapleasantjourney,IwentbackwithmytwofriendstoM。deBragadin,towhomI
gaveafaithfulaccountofwhathadtakenplace。
WethoughtthattheyhadleftVenice,butthenextmorningtheycalledattheplaceinapeottawithsixrowers。Thecountsaidthattheycouldnotleavethecitywithoutseeingusoncemore;withoutthankingusagain,andmeparticularly,forallwehaddoneforthem。
M。deBragadin,whohadnotseentheyoungcountessbefore,wasstruckbyherextraordinarylikenesstoherbrother。
Theypartookofsomerefreshments,andembarkedintheirpeotta,whichwastocarrythem,intwenty—fourhours,toPontediLagoOscuro,ontheRiverPo,nearthefrontiersofthepapalstates。ItwasonlywithmyeyesthatIcouldexpresstothelovelygirlallthefeelingswhichfilledmyheart,butsheunderstoodthelanguage,andIhadnodifficultyininterpretingthemeaningofherlooks。
NeverdidanintroductionoccurinbetterseasonthanthatofthecounttoM。Barbaro。Itsavedthehonourofarespectablefamily;
anditsavedmefromtheunpleasantconsequencesofaninterrogatoryinthepresenceoftheCouncilofTen,duringwhichIshouldhavebeenconvictedofhavingtakentheyounggirlwithme,andcompelledtosaywhatIhaddonewithher。
AfewdaysafterwardsweallproceededtoPaduatoremaininthatcityuntiltheendofautumn。IwasgrievednottofindDoctorGozziinPadua;hehadbeenappointedtoabeneficeinthecountry,andhewaslivingtherewithBettina;shehadnotbeenabletoremainwiththescoundrelwhohadmarriedheronlyforthesakeofhersmalldowry,andhadtreatedherveryill。
IdidnotlikethequietlifeofPadua,andtoavoiddyingfromennuiIfellinlovewithacelebratedVenetiancourtesan。HernamewasAncilla;sometimeafter,thewell—knowndancer,Campioni,marriedherandtookhertoLondon,whereshecausedthedeathofaveryworthyEnglishman。Ishallhavetomentionheragaininfouryears;nowI
haveonlytospeakofacertaincircumstancewhichbroughtmyloveadventurewithhertoacloseafterthreeorfourweeks。
CountMedini,ayoung,thoughtlessfellowlikemyself,andwithinclinationsofmuchthesamecast,hadintroducedmetoAncilla。
Thecountwasaconfirmedgamblerandathoroughenemyoffortune。
TherewasagooddealofgamblinggoingonatAncilla’s,whosefavouriteloverhewas,andthefellowhadpresentedmetohismistressonlytogivehertheopportunityofmakingadupeofmeatthecard—table。
And,totellthetruth,Iwasadupeatfirst;notthinkingofanyfoulplay,Iacceptedillluckwithoutcomplaining;butonedayI
caughtthemcheating。Itookapistoloutofmypocket,and,aimingatMedini’sbreast,Ithreatenedtokillhimonthespotunlessherefundedatonceallthegoldtheyhadwonfromme。Ancillafaintedaway,andthecount,afterrefundingthemoney,challengedmetofollowhimoutandmeasureswords。Iplacedmypistolsonthetable,andwewentout。Reachingaconvenientspot,wefoughtbythebrightlightofthemoon,andIwasfortunateenoughtogivehimagashacrosstheshoulder。Hecouldnotmovehisarm,andhehadtocryformercy。
Afterthatmeeting,Iwenttobedandsleptquietly,butinthemorningIrelatedthewholeaffairtomyfather,andheadvisedmetoleavePaduaimmediately,whichIdid。
CountMediniremainedmyenemythroughallhislife。IshallhaveoccasiontospeakofhimagainwhenIreachNaples。
Theremainderoftheyear1746passedoffquietly,withoutanyeventsofimportance。Fortunewasnowfavourabletomeandnowadverse。
TowardstheendofJanuary,1747,IreceivedaletterfromtheyoungcountessA————S————,whohadmarriedtheMarquisof————。Sheentreatedmenottoappeartoknowher,ifbychanceIvisitedthetowninwhichsheresided,forshehadthehappinessofhavinglinkedherdestinytothatofamanwhohadwonherheartafterhehadobtainedherhand。
Ihadalreadyheardfromherbrotherthat,aftertheirreturntoC————,hermotherhadtakenhertothecityfromwhichherletterwaswritten,andthere,inthehouseofarelativewithwhomshewasresiding,shehadmadetheacquaintanceofthemanwhohadtakenuponhimselfthechargeofherfuturewelfareandhappiness。Isawheroneyearafterwards,andifithadnotbeenforherletter,Ishouldcertainlyhavesolicitedanintroductiontoherhusband。Yet,peaceofmindhasgreatercharmseventhanlove;but,whenloveisintheway,wedonotthinkso。
ForafortnightIwastheloverofayoungVenetiangirl,veryhandsome,whomherfather,acertainRamon,exposedtopublicadmirationasadanceratthetheatre。Imighthaveremainedlongerhercaptive,ifmarriagehadnotforciblybrokenmychains。Herprotectress,MadameCeciliaValmarano,foundheraveryproperhusbandinthepersonofaFrenchdancer,calledBinet,whohadassumedthenameofBinetti,andthushisyoungwifehadnottobecomeaFrenchwoman;shesoonwongreatfameinmorewaysthanone。
Shewasstrangelyprivileged;timewithitsheavyhandseemedtohavenopoweroverher。Shealwaysappearedyoung,evenintheeyesofthebestjudgesoffaded,bygonefemalebeauty。Men,asageneralrule,donotaskforanythingmore,andtheyarerightinnotrackingtheirbrainforthesakeofbeingconvincedthattheyarethedupesofexternalappearance。ThelastloverthatthewonderfulBinettikilledbyexcessofamorousenjoymentwasacertainMosciuski,aPole,whomfatebroughttoVenicesevenoreightyearsago;shehadthenreachedhersixty—thirdyear!
MylifeinVenicewouldhavebeenpleasantandhappy,ifIcouldhaveabstainedfrompuntingatbasset。Theridottiwereonlyopentonoblemenwhohadtoappearwithoutmasks,intheirpatricianrobes,andwearingtheimmensewigwhichhadbecomeindispensablesincethebeginningofthecentury。Iwouldplay,andIwaswrong,forIhadneitherprudenceenoughtoleaveoffwhenfortunewasadverse,norsufficientcontrolovermyselftostopwhenIhadwon。Iwasthengamblingthroughafeelingofavarice。Iwasextravagantbytaste,andIalwaysregrettedthemoneyIhadspent,unlessithadbeenwonatthegaming—table,foritwasonlyinthatcasethatthemoneyhad,inmyopinion,costmenothing。
AttheendofJanuary,findingmyselfunderthenecessityofprocuringtwohundredsequins,MadameManzonicontrivedtoobtainformefromanotherwomantheloanofadiamondringworthfivehundred。
第17章