首页 >出版文学> The Essays of Montaigne>第54章
  IknownotwhetherornoIshallbringitabout。Icouldwishthat,insteadofsomeothermemberofhissuccession,myfatherhadresignedtomethepassionateaffectionhehadinhisoldagetohishouseholdaffairs;hewashappyinthathecouldaccommodatehisdesirestohisfortune,andsatisfyhimselfwithwhathehad;politicalphilosophymaytomuchpurposecondemnthemeannessandsterilityofmyemployment,ifI
  canoncecometorelishit,ashedid。Iamofopinionthatthemosthonourablecallingistoservethepublic,andtobeusefultomany,"Fructusenimingeniietvirtutis,omnisquepraestantiae,tummaximuscapitur,quuminproximumquemqueconfertur:"
  ["Forthegreatestenjoymentofevilandvirtue,andofallexcellence,isexperiencedwhentheyareconferredonsomeonenearest。"——Cicero,DeAmicil。,c。]
  formyself,Idisclaimit;partlyoutofconscience(forwhereIseetheweightthatliesuponsuchemployments,IperceivealsothelittlemeansIhavetosupplyit;andPlato,amasterinallpoliticalgovernmenthimself,neverthelesstookcaretoabstainfromit),andpartlyoutofcowardice。Icontentmyselfwithenjoyingtheworldwithoutbustle;
  only—toliveanexcusablelife,andsuchasmayneitherbeaburdentomyselfnortoanyother。
  NeverdidanymanmorefullyandfeeblysufferhimselftobegovernedbyathirdpersonthanIshoulddo,hadIanyonetowhomtoentrustmyself。
  Oneofmywishesatthistimeshouldbe,tohaveason—in—lawthatknewhandsomelyhowtocherishmyoldage,andtorockitasleep;intowhosehandsImightdeposit,infullsovereignty,themanagementanduseofallmygoods,thathemightdisposeofthemasIdo,andgetbythemwhatI
  get,providedthatheonhispartweretrulyacknowledging,andafriend。
  Butweliveinaworldwhereloyaltyofone’sownchildrenisunknown。
  Hewhohasthechargeofmypurseinhistravels,hasitpurelyandwithoutcontrol;hecouldcheatmethoroughly,ifhecametoreckoning;
  and,ifheisnotadevil,Iobligehimtodealfaithfullywithmebysoentireatrust:
  "Multifalleredocuerunt,dumtimentfalli;
  etaliisjuspeccandisuspicandofecerunt。"
  ["Manyhavetaughtotherstodeceive,whiletheyfeartobedeceived,and,bysuspectingthem,havegiventhematitletodoill。"——Seneca,Epist。,3。]
  ThemostcommonsecurityItakeofmypeopleisignorance;IneverpresumeanytobevicioustillIhavefirstfoundthemso;andreposethemostconfidenceintheyoungersort,thatIthinkareleastspoiledbyillexample。Ihadratherbetoldattwomonths’endthatIhavespentfourhundredcrowns,thantohavemyearsbatteredeverynightwiththree,five,seven:andIhavebeen,inthisway,aslittlerobbedasanother。Itistrue,Iamwillingenoughnottoseeit;I,insomesort,purposely,harbourakindofperplexed,uncertainknowledgeofmymoney:
  uptoacertainpoint,Iamcontenttodoubt。Onemustleavealittleroomfortheinfidelityorindiscretionofaservant;ifyouhaveleftenough,ingross,todoyourbusiness,lettheoverplusofFortune’sliberalityrunalittlemorefreelyathermercy;’tisthegleaner’sportion。Afterall,IdonotsomuchvaluethefidelityofmypeopleasIcontemntheirinjury。Whatameanandridiculousthingitisforamantostudyhismoney,todelightinhandlingandtellingitoverandoveragain!’Tisbythisavaricemakesitsapproaches。
  IneighteenyearsthatIhavehadmyestateinmy,ownhands,Icouldneverprevailwithmyselfeithertoreadovermydeedsorexaminemyprincipalaffairs,whichought,ofnecessity,topassundermyknowledgeandinspection。’Tisnotaphilosophicaldisdainofworldlyandtransitorythings;mytasteisnotpurifiedtothatdegree,andIvaluethematasgreatarate,atleast,astheyareworth;but’tis,intruth,aninexcusableandchildishlazinessandnegligence。WhatwouldInotratherdothanreadacontract?orthan,asaslavetomyownbusiness,tumbleoverthosedustywritings?or,whichisworse,thoseofanotherman,assomanydonowadays,togetmoney?Igrudgenothingbutcareandtrouble,andendeavournothingsomuch,astobecarelessandatease。
  Ihadbeenmuchfitter,Ibelieve,couldithavebeenwithoutobligationandservitude,tohaveliveduponanotherman’sfortunethanmyown:and,indeed,Idonotknow,whenIexamineitnearer,whether,accordingtomyhumour,whatIhavetosufferfrommyaffairsandservants,hasnotinitsomethingmoreabject,troublesome,andtormentingthantherewouldbeinservingamanbetterbornthanmyself,whowouldgovernmewithagentlerein,andalittleatmyowncase:
  "Servitusobedientiaestfractianimietabjecti,arbitriocarentissuo。"
  ["Servitudeistheobedienceofasubduedandabjectmind,wantingitsownfreewill。"——Cicero,Paradox,V。I。]
  Cratesdidworse,whothrewhimselfintothelibertyofpoverty,onlytoridhimselfoftheinconveniencesandcaresofhishouse。ThisiswhatI
  wouldnotdo;Ihatepovertyequallywithpain;butIcouldbecontenttochangethekindoflifeIliveforanotherthatwashumblerandlesschargeable。
  Whenabsentfromhome,Idivestmyselfofallthesethoughts,andshouldbelessconcernedfortheruinofatower,thanIam,whenpresent,atthefallofatile。Mymindiseasilycomposedatdistance,butsuffersasmuchasthatofthemeanestpeasantwhenIamathome;thereinsofmybridlebeingwronglyputon,orastrapflappingagainstmyleg,willkeepmeoutofhumouradaytogether。Iraisemycourage,wellenoughagainstinconveniences:liftupmyeyesIcannot:
  "Sensus,osuperi,sensus。"
  ["Thesenses,Oyegods,thesenses。"]
  Iamathomeresponsibleforwhatevergoesamiss。Fewmasters(Ispeakofthoseofmediumconditionsuchasmine),andiftherebeanysuch,theyaremorehappy,canrelysomuchuponanother,butthatthegreatestpartoftheburdenwilllieupontheirownshoulders。Thistakesmuchfrommygraceinentertainingvisitors,sothatIhave,peradventure,detainedsomeratheroutofexpectationofagooddinner,thanbymyownbehaviour;andlosemuchofthepleasureIoughttoreapatmyownhousefromthevisitationandassemblingofmyfriends。Themostridiculouscarriageofagentlemaninhisownhouse,istoseehimbustlingaboutthebusinessoftheplace,whisperingoneservant,andlookinganangrylookatanother:itoughtinsensiblytoslidealong,andtorepresentanordinarycurrent;andIthinkitunhandsometotalkmuchtoourguestsoftheirentertainment,whetherbywayofbraggingorexcuse。Iloveorderandcleanliness——
  "EtcantharusetlanxOstenduntmihime"——
  ["Thedishesandtheglassesshewmemyownreflection。"
  ——Horace,Ep。,i。5,23]
  morethanabundance;andathomehaveanexactregardtonecessity,littletooutwardshow。Ifafootmanfallstocuffsatanotherman’shouse,orstumbleandthrowadishbeforehimasheiscarryingitup,youonlylaughandmakeajeston’t;yousleepwhilstthemasterofthehouseisarrangingabilloffarewithhisstewardforyourmorrow’sentertainment。IspeakaccordingasIdomyself;quiteappreciating,nevertheless,goodhusbandryingeneral,andhowpleasantquietandprosperoushouseholdmanagement,carriedregularlyon,istosomenatures;andnotwishingtofastenmyownerrorsandinconveniencestothething;nortogivePlatothelie,wholooksuponitasthemostpleasantemploymenttoeveryonetodohisparticularaffairswithoutwrongtoanother。
  WhenItravelIhavenothingtocareforbutmyself,andthelayingoutmymoney;whichisdisposedofbyonesingleprecept;toomanythingsarerequiredtotherakingittogether;inthatIunderstandnothing;inspending,Iunderstandalittle,andhowtogivesomeshowtomyexpense,whichisindeeditsprincipaluse;butIrelytooambitiouslyuponit,whichrendersitunequalanddifform,and,moreover,immoderateinboththeoneandtheotheraspect;ifitmakesashow,ifitservetheturn,Iindiscreetlyletitrun;andasindiscreetlytieupmypurse—strings,ifitdoesnotshine,anddoesnotpleaseme。Whateveritbe,whetherartornature,thatimprintsinustheconditionoflivingbyreferencetoothers,itdoesusmuchmoreharmthangood;wedepriveourselvesofourownutilities,toaccommodateappearancestothecommonopinion:
  wecarenotsomuchwhatourbeingis,astousandinreality,aswhatitistothepublicobservation。Eventhepropertiesofthemind,andwisdomitself,seemfruitlesstous,ifonlyenjoyedbyourselves,andifitproducenotitselftotheviewandapprobationofothers。Thereisasortofmenwhosegoldrunsinstreamsundergroundimperceptibly;othersexposeitallinplatesandbranches;sothattotheonealiardisworthacrown,andtotheotherstheinverse:theworldesteemingitsuseandvalue,accordingtotheshow。Allover—nicesolicitudeaboutrichessmellsofavarice:eventheverydisposingofit,withatoosystematicandartificialliberality,isnotworthapainfulsuperintendenceandsolicitude:he,thatwillorderhisexpensetojustsomuch,makesittoopinchedandnarrow。Thekeepingorspendingare,ofthemselves,indifferentthings,andreceivenocolourofgoodorill,butaccordingtotheapplicationofthewill。
  Theothercausethattemptsmeouttothesejourneysis,inaptitudeforthepresentmannersinourstate。Icouldeasilyconsolemyselfforthiscorruptioninregardtothepublicinterest:
  "PejoraquesaeculaferriTemporibus,quorumscelerinoninvenitipsaNomen,etanulloposuitnaturametallo;"
  ["And,worsethantheironages,forwhosecrimesthereisnosimilitudeinanyofNature’smetals。"——Juvenal,xiii。28。]
  butnottomyown。Iam,inparticular,toomuchoppressedbythem:for,inmyneighbourhood,weare,oflate,bythelonglicenceofourcivilwars,grownoldinsoriotousaformofstate,"Quippeubifasversumatquenefas,"
  ["Wherewrongandrighthavechangedplaces。"
  ——Virgil,Georg。,i。504。]
  thatinearnest,’tisawonderhowitcansubsist:
  "Armatiterramexercent,semperquerecentesConvectarejuvatpraedas;etvivererapto。"
  ["Menplough,girtwitharms;everdelightinginfreshrobberies,andlivingbyrapine。"——AEneid,vii。748。]
  Infine,Iseebyourexample,thatthesocietyofmenismaintainedandheldtogether,atwhatpricesoever;inwhatconditionsoevertheyareplaced,theystillcloseandsticktogether,bothmovingandinheaps;asillunitedbodies,that,shuffledtogetherwithoutorder,findofthemselvesameanstouniteandsettle,oftenbetterthantheycouldhavebeendisposedbyart。KingPhilipmustereduparabbleofthemostwickedandincorrigiblerascalshecouldpickout,andputthemalltogetherintoacityhehadcausedtobebuiltforthatpurpose,whichboretheirname:Ibelievethatthey,evenfromvicesthemselves,erectedagovernmentamongstthem,andacommodiousandjustsociety。Isee,notoneaction,orthree,orahundred,butmanners,incommonandreceiveduse,soferocious,especiallyininhumanityandtreachery,whicharetometheworstofallvices,thatIhavenotthehearttothinkofthemwithouthorror;andalmostasmuchadmireasIdetestthem:theexerciseofthesesignalvillainiescarrieswithitasgreatsignsofvigourandforceofsoul,asoferroranddisorder。Necessityreconcilesandbringsmentogether;andthisaccidentalconnectionafterwardsformsitselfintolaws:fortherehavebeensuch,assavageasanyhumanopinioncouldconceive,who,nevertheless,havemaintainedtheirbodywithasmuchhealthandlengthoflifeasanyPlatoorAristotlecouldinvent。Andcertainly,allthesedescriptionsofpolities,feignedbyart,arefoundtoberidiculousandunfittobeputinpractice。
  Thesegreatandtediousdebatesaboutthebestformofsociety,andthemostcommodiousrulestobindus,aredebatesonlyproperfortheexerciseofourwits;asintheartsthereareseveralsubjectswhichhavetheirbeinginagitationandcontroversy,andhavenolifebutthere。Suchanideaofgovernmentmightbeofsomevalueinanewworld;
  butwetakeaworldalreadymade,andformedtocertaincustoms;wedonotbegetit,asPyrrhaorCadmusdid。Bywhatmeanssoeverwemayhavetheprivilegetoredressandreformitanew,wecanhardlywritheitfromitswontedbent,butweshallbreakall。SolonbeingaskedwhetherhehadestablishedthebestlawshecouldfortheAthenians;"Yes,"saidhe,"ofthosetheywouldhavereceived。"Varroexcuseshimselfafterthesamemanner:"thatifheweretobegintowriteofreligion,hewouldsaywhathebelieved;butseeingitwasalreadyreceived,hewouldwriteratheraccordingtousethannature。"
  Notaccordingtoopinion,butintruthandreality,thebestandmostexcellentgovernmentforeverynationisthatunderwhichitismaintained:itsformandessentialconveniencedependuponcustom。
  Weareapttobedispleasedatthepresentcondition;butI,nevertheless,maintainthattodesirecommandinafew——[anoligarchy。]——
  inarepublic,oranothersortofgovernmentinmonarchythanthatalreadyestablished,isbothviceandfolly:
  "Aymel’estat,telquetoleveoisestreS’ilestroyalaymelaroyaute;
  S’ilestdepeu,oubierscommunaute,Aymel’aussi;carDieut’yafaictnaistre。"
  ["Lovethegovernment,suchasyouseeittobe。Ifitberoyal,loveroyalty;ifitisarepublicofanysort,stillloveit;forGodhimselfcreatedtheetherein。"]
  SowrotethegoodMonsieurdePibrac,whomwehavelatelylost,amanofsoexcellentawit,suchsoundopinions,andsuchgentlemanners。Thisloss,andthatatthesametimewehavehadofMonsieurdeFoix,areofsogreatimportancetothecrown,thatIdonotknowwhetherthereisanothercoupleinFranceworthytosupplytheplacesofthesetwoGasconsinsincerityandwisdominthecouncilofourkings。Theywerebothvariouslygreatmen,andcertainly,accordingtotheage,rareandgreat,eachoftheminhiskind:butwhatdestinywasitthatplacedtheminthesetimes,mensoremotefromandsodisproportionedtoourcorruptionandintestinetumults?
  Nothingpressessoharduponastateasinnovation:changeonlygivesformtoinjusticeandtyranny。Whenanypieceisloosened,itmaybepropertostayit;onemaytakecarethatthealterationandcorruptionnaturaltoallthingsdonotcarryustoofarfromourbeginningsandprinciples:buttoundertaketofoundsogreatamassanew,andtochangethefoundationsofsovastabuilding,isforthemtodo,whotomakeclean,efface;whoreformparticulardefectsbyanuniversalconfusion,andcurediseasesbydeath:
  "Nontamcommutandarumquamevertendarumrerumcupidi。"
  ["Notsodesirousofchangingasofoverthrowingthings。"
  ——Cicero,De0ffic。,ii。i。]
  Theworldisunapttobecured;andsoimpatientofanythingthatpressesit,thatitthinksofnothingbutdisengagingitselfatwhatpricesoever。Weseebyathousandexamples,thatitordinarilycuresitselftoitscost。Thedischargeofapresentevilisnocure,iftherebenotageneralamendmentofcondition。Thesurgeon’sendisnotonlytocutawaythedeadflesh;thatisbuttheprogressofhiscure;hehasacare,overandabove,tofillupthewoundwithbetterandmorenaturalflesh,andtorestorethemembertoitsduestate。Whoeveronlyproposestohimselftoremovethatwhichoffendshim,fallsshort:forgooddoesnotnecessarilysucceedevil;anotherevilmaysucceed,andaworse,asithappenedtoCaesar’smurderers,whobroughttherepublictosuchapass,thattheyhadreasontorepentthemeddlingwiththematter。Thesamehassincehappenedtoseveralothers,evendowntoourowntimes:theFrench,mycontemporaries,knowitwellenough。Allgreatmutationsshakeanddisorderastate。
  Whoeverwouldlookdirectatacure,andwellconsiderofitbeforehebegan,wouldbeverywillingtowithdrawhishandsfrommeddlinginit。
  PacuviusCalaviuscorrectedtheviceofthisproceedingbyanotableexample。Hisfellow—citizenswereinmutinyagainsttheirmagistrates;
  hebeingamanofgreatauthorityinthecityofCapua,foundmeansonedaytoshutuptheSenatorsinthepalace;andcallingthepeopletogetherinthemarket—place,theretoldthemthatthedaywasnowcomewhereinatfulllibertytheymightrevengethemselvesonthetyrantsbywhomtheyhadbeensolongoppressed,andwhomhehadnow,allaloneandunarmed,athismercy。Hethenadvisedthattheyshouldcalltheseout,onebyone,bylot,andshouldindividuallydetermineastoeach,causingwhatevershouldbedecreedtobeimmediatelyexecuted;withthisproviso,thattheyshould,atthesametime,deputesomehonestmanintheplaceofhimwhowascondemned,totheendtheremightbenovacancyintheSenate。Theyhadnosoonerheardthenameofonesenatorbutagreatcryofuniversaldislikewasraisedupagainsthim。"Isee,"saysPacuvius,"thatwemustputhimout;heisawickedfellow;letuslookoutagoodoneinhisroom。"Immediatelytherewasaprofoundsilence,everyonebeingatastandwhomtochoose。Butone,moreimpudentthantherest,havingnamedhisman,therearoseyetagreaterconsentofvoicesagainsthim,anhundredimperfectionsbeinglaidtohischarge,andasmanyjustreasonswhyheshouldnotstand。Thesecontradictoryhumoursgrowinghot,itfaredworsewiththesecondsenatorandthethird,therebeingasmuchdisagreementintheelectionofthenew,asconsentintheputtingoutoftheold。Intheend,growingwearyofthisbustletonopurpose,theybegan,someonewayandsomeanother,tostealoutoftheassembly:
  everyonecarryingbackthisresolutioninhismind,thattheoldestandbestknownevilwasevermoresupportablethanonethatwas,newanduntried。
  Seeinghowmiserablyweareagitated(forwhathavewenotdone!)
  "Eheu!cicatricum,etscelerispudet,Fratrumque:quidnosdurarefugimusAEtas?quidintactumnefastiLiquimus?UndemanusinventusMetuDeorumcontinuit?quibusPepercitaris。"
  ["Alas!ourcrimesandourfratricidesareashametous!Whatcrimedoesthisbadageshrinkfrom?Whatwickednesshaveweleftundone?Whatyouthisrestrainedfromevilbythefearofthegods?
  Whataltarisspared?"——Horace,Od。,i。33,35]
  Idonotpresentlyconclude,"IpsasivelitSalus,Servareprorsusnonpotesthancfamiliam;"
  ["IfthegoddessSalusherselfwishtosavethisfamily,sheabsolutelycannot"——Terence,Adelph。,iv。7,43。]
  wearenot,peradventure,atourlastgasp。Theconservationofstatesisathingthat,inalllikelihood,surpassesourunderstanding;——acivilgovernmentis,asPlatosays,amightyandpuissantthing,andhardtobedissolved;itoftencontinuesagainstmortalandintestinediseases,againsttheinjuryofunjustlaws,againsttyranny,thecorruptionandignoranceofmagistrates,thelicenceandseditionofthepeople。Inallourfortunes,wecompareourselvestowhatisaboveus,andstilllooktowardsthosewhoarebetter:butletusmeasureourselveswithwhatisbelowus:thereisnoconditionsomiserablewhereinamanmaynotfindathousandexamplesthatwilladministerconsolation。’Tisourvicethatwemoreunwillinglylookuponwhatisabove,thanwillinglyuponwhatisbelow;andSolonwasusedtosay,that"whoeverwouldmakeaheapofalltheillstogether,thereisnoonewhowouldnotratherchoosetobearawaytheillshehasthantocometoanequaldivisionwithallothermenfromthatheap,andtakehisshare。"Ourgovernmentis,indeed,verysick,buttherehavebeenothersmoresickwithoutdying。Thegodsplayatballwithusandbandyuseveryway:
  "EnimveroDiinoshominesquasipilashabent。"
  ThestarsfatallydestinedthestateofRomeforanexampleofwhattheycoulddointhiskind:initarecomprisedalltheformsandadventuresthatconcernastate:allthatorderordisorder,goodorevilfortune,cando。Who,then,candespairofhiscondition,seeingtheshocksandcommotionswherewithRomewastumbledandtossed,andyetwithstoodthemall?Iftheextentofdominionbethehealthofastate(whichIbynomeansthinkitis,andIsocratespleasesmewhenheinstructsNicoclesnottoenvyprinceswhohavelargedominions,butthosewhoknowhowtopreservethosewhichhavefallenintotheirhands),thatofRomewasneversosound,aswhenitwasmostsick。Theworstofherformswasthemostfortunate;onecanhardlydiscernanyimageofgovernmentunderthefirstemperors;itisthemosthorribleandtumultuousconfusionthatcanbeimagined;itenduredit,notwithstanding,andthereincontinued,preservingnotamonarchylimitedwithinitsownbounds,butsomanynationssodiffering,soremote,sodisaffected,soconfusedlycommanded,andsounjustlyconquered:
  "NecgentibusullisCommodatinpopulum,terrapelagiquepotentem,Invidiamfortunasuam。"
  ["Fortunenevergaveittoanynationtosatisfyitshatredagainstthepeople,mastersoftheseasandoftheearth。"——Lucan,i。32。]
  Everythingthattottersdoesnotfall。Thecontextureofsogreatabodyholdsbymorenailsthanone;itholdsevenbyitsantiquity,likeoldbuildings,fromwhichthefoundationsarewornawaybytime,withoutrough—castormortar,whichyetliveandsupportthemselvesbytheirownweight:
  "Necjamvalidisradicibushaerens,Ponderetutasuoest。"
  Moreover,itisnotrightlytogotowork,toexamineonlytheflankandthefoss,tojudgeofthesecurityofaplace;wemustobservewhichwayapproachescanbemadetoit,andinwhatconditiontheassailantis:fewvesselssinkwiththeirownweight,andwithoutsomeexteriorviolence。
  Now,letuseverywaycastoureyes;everythingaboutustotters;inallthegreatstates,bothofChristendomandelsewhere,thatareknowntous,ifyouwillbutlook,youwillthereseeevidentmenaceofalterationandruin:
  "Etsuasuntillisincommoda;parqueperomnesTempestas。"
  ["Theyallshareinthemischief;thetempestrageseverywhere。"——AEneid,ii。]
  Astrologersmayverywell,astheydo,warnusofgreatrevolutionsandimminentmutations:theirpropheciesarepresentandpalpable,theyneednotgotoheaventoforetellthis。Thereisnotonlyconsolationtobeextractedfromthisuniversalcombinationofillsandmenaces,but,moreover,somehopesofthecontinuationofourstate,forasmuchas,naturally,nothingfallswhereallfalls:universalsicknessisparticularhealth:conformityisantagonistictodissolution。Formypart,Idespairnot,andfancythatIdiscoverwaystosaveus:
  "DeushaecfortassebenignaReducetinsedemvice。"
  ["Thedeitywillperchancebyafavourableturnrestoreustoourformerposition。"——Horace,Epod。,xiii。7。]
  WhoknowsbutthatGodwillhaveithappen,asinhumanbodiesthatpurgeandrestorethemselvestoabetterstatebylongandgrievousmaladies,whichrenderthemmoreentireandperfecthealththanthattheytookfromthem?Thatwhichweighsthemostwithmeis,thatinreckoningthesymptomsofourill,Iseeasmanynaturalones,andthatHeavensendsus,andproperlyitsown,asofthosethatourdisorderandhumanimprudencecontributetoit。Theverystarsseemtodeclarethatwehavealreadycontinuedlongenough,andbeyondtheordinaryterm。Thisalsoafflictsme,thatthemischiefwhichnearestthreatensus,isnotanalterationintheentireandsolidmass,butitsdissipationanddivulsion,whichisthemostextremeofourfears。
  I,moreover,fear,inthesefantasiesofmine,thetreacheryofmymemory,lest,byinadvertence,itshouldmakemewritethesamethingtwice。Ihatetoexaminemyself,andneverreview,butveryunwillingly,whathasonceescapedmypen。Iheresetdownnothingnew。Thesearecommonthoughts,andhaving,peradventure,conceivedthemanhundredtimes,IamafraidIhavesetthemdownsomewhereelsealready。
  Repetitioniseverywheretroublesome,thoughitwereinHomer;but’tisruinousinthingsthathaveonlyasuperficialandtransitoryshow。Idonotloveover—insisting,eveninthemostprofitablethings,asinSeneca;andtheusageofhisstoicalschooldispleasesme,torepeat,uponeverysubject,atfulllengthandwidththeprinciplesandpresuppositionsthatserveingeneral,andalwaystorealledgeanewcommonanduniversalreasons。
  Mymemorygrowscruellyworseeveryday:
  "PoculaLethaeosutsiducentiasomnos,Arentefaucetraxerim;"
  ["AsifmydrythroathaddrunkseducingcupsofLethaeanoblivion。"——Horace,Epod。,xiv。3。]
  Imustbefainforthetimetocome(forhitherto,thanksbetoGod,nothinghashappenedmuchamiss),whereasothersseektimeandopportunitytothinkofwhattheyhavetosay,toavoidallpreparation,forfearoftyingmyselftosomeobligationuponwhichImustinsist。Tobetiedandboundtoathingputsmequiteout,andtodependuponsoweakaninstrumentasmymemory。IneverreadthisfollowingstorythatIamnotoffendedatitwithapersonalandnaturalresentment:
  Lyncestes,accusedofconspiracyagainstAlexander,thedaythathewasbroughtoutbeforethearmy,accordingtothecustom,tobeheardastowhathecouldsayforhimself,hadlearnedastudiedspeech,ofwhich,hesitatingandstammering,hepronouncedsomewords。Whilstgrowingmoreandmoreperplexed,whilststrugglingwithhismemory,andtryingtorecollectwhathehadtosay,thesoldiersnearesttohimchargedtheirpikesagainsthimandkilledhim,lookinguponhimasconvict;hisconfusionandsilenceservedthemforaconfession;forhavinghadsomuchleisuretopreparehimselfinprison,theyconcludedthatitwasnothismemorythatfailedhim,butthathisconsciencetieduphistongueandstoppedhismouth。And,truly,wellsaid;theplace,theassembly,theexpectation,astoundaman,evenwhenhehasbuttheambitiontospeakwell;whatcanamandowhen’tisanharangueuponwhichhislifedepends?
  Formypart,theverybeingtiedtowhatIamtosayisenoughtoloosemefromit。WhenIwhollycommitandrefermyselftomymemory,Ilaysomuchstressuponitthatitsinksunderme:itgrowsdismayedwiththeburden。SomuchasItrusttoit,somuchdoIputmyselfoutofmyownpower,eventothefindingitdifficulttokeepmyowncountenance;andhavebeensometimesverymuchputtoittoconcealtheslaverywhereinI
  wasengaged;whereasmydesignistomanifest,inspeaking,aperfectcalmnessbothoffaceandaccent,andcasualandunpremeditatedmotions,asrisingfrompresentoccasions,choosingrathertosaynothingtopurposethantoshowthatIcamepreparedtospeakwell,athingespeciallyunbecomingamanofmyprofession,andoftoogreatobligationonhimwhocannotretainmuch。Thepreparationbegetsagreatdealmoreexpectationthanitwillsatisfy。Amanoftenstripshimselftohisdoublettoleapnofartherthanhewouldhavedoneinhisgown:
  "Nihilesthis,quiplacerevolunt,turnadversarium,quamexpectatio。"
  ["Nothingissoadversetothosewhomakeittheirbusinesstopleaseasexpectation"——Cicero,Acad。,ii。4]
  ItisrecordedoftheoratorCurio,thatwhenheproposedthedivisionofhisorationintothreeorfourparts,orthreeorfourargumentsorreasons,itoftenhappenedeitherthatheforgotsomeone,oraddedoneortwomore。Ihavealwaysavoidedfallingintothisinconvenience,havingeverhatedthesepromisesandprescriptions,notonlyoutofdistrustofmymemory,butalsobecausethismethodrelishestoomuchoftheartist:
  "Simplicioramilitaresdecent。"
  ["Simplicitybecomeswarriors。"——Quintilian,Instit。Orat。,xi。I。]
  ’Tis—enoughthatIhavepromisedtomyselfneveragaintotakeuponmetospeakinaplaceofrespect,forastospeaking,whenamanreadshisspeech,besidesthatitisveryabsurd,itisamightydisadvantagetothosewhonaturallycouldgiveitagracebyaction;andtorelyuponthemercyofmypresentinvention,Iwouldmuchlessdoit;’tisheavyandperplexed,andsuchaswouldneverfurnishmeinsuddenandimportantnecessities。
  Permit,reader,thisessayitscoursealso,andthisthirdsittingtofinishtherestofmypicture:Iadd,butIcorrectnot。First,becauseIconceivethatamanhavingoncepartedwithhislabourstotheworld,hehasnofurtherrighttothem;lethimdobetterifhecan,insomenewundertaking,butnotadulteratewhathehasalreadysold。Ofsuchdealersnothingshouldbeboughttillaftertheyaredead。Letthemwellconsiderwhattheydobeforethey,produceittothelightwhohastensthem?Mybookisalwaysthesame,savingthatuponeverynewedition(thatthebuyermaynotgoawayquiteempty)Itakethelibertytoadd(as’tisbutanilljointedmarqueterie)somesupernumeraryemblem;itisbutoverweight,thatdoesnotdisfiguretheprimitiveformoftheessays,but,byalittleartfulsubtlety,givesakindofparticularvaluetoeveryoneofthosethatfollow。Thence,however,willeasilyhappensometranspositionofchronology,mystoriestakingplaceaccordingtotheiropportuneness,notalwaysaccordingtotheirage。
  Secondly,becauseastowhatconcernsmyself,Ifeartolosebychange:
  myunderstandingdoesnotalwaysgoforward,itgoesbackwardtoo。Idonotmuchlesssuspectmyfanciesforbeingthesecondorthethird,thanforbeingthefirst,orpresent,orpast;weoftencorrectourselvesasfoolishlyaswedoothers。Iamgrownolderbyagreatmanyyearssincemyfirstpublications,whichwereintheyear1580;butIverymuchdoubtwhetherIamgrownaninchthewiser。Inow,andIanon,aretwoseveralpersons;butwhetherbetter,Icannotdetermine。Itwereafinethingtobeold,ifweonlytravelledtowardsimprovement;but’tisadrunken,stumbling,reeling,infirmmotion:likethatofreeds,whichtheaircasuallywavestoandfroatpleasure。AntiochushadinhisyouthstronglywritteninfavouroftheAcademy;inhisoldagehewroteasmuchagainstit;wouldnot,whichofthesetwosoeverIshouldfollow,bestillAntiochus?Afterhavingestablishedtheuncertainty,togoabouttoestablishthecertaintyofhumanopinions,wasitnottoestablishdoubt,andnotcertainty,andtopromise,thathadhehadyetanotheragetolive,hewouldbealwaysupontermsofalteringhisjudgment,notsomuchforthebetter,asforsomethingelse?
  ThepublicfavourhasgivenmealittlemoreconfidencethanIexpected;
  butwhatI’mostfearis,lestIshouldgluttheworldwithmywritings;
  Ihadrather,ofthetwo,piquemyreaderthantirehim,asalearnedmanofmytimehasdone。Praiseisalwayspleasing,letitcomefromwhom,oruponwhataccountitwill;yetoughtamantounderstandwhyheiscommended,thathemayknowhowtokeepupthesamereputationstill:
  imperfectionsthemselvesmaygetcommendation。Thevulgarandcommonestimationisseldomhappyinhitting;andIammuchmistakenif,amongstthewritingsofmytime,theworstarenotthosewhichhavemostgainedthepopularapplause。Formypart,Ireturnmythankstothosegood—
  naturedmenwhoarepleasedtotakemyweakendeavoursingoodpart;thefaultsoftheworkmanshiparenowheresoapparentasinamatterwhichofitselfhasnorecommendation。Blamenotme,reader,forthosethatslipinherebythefancyorinadvertencyofothers;everyhand,everyartisan,contributetheirownmaterials;Ineitherconcernmyselfwithorthography(andonlycaretohaveitaftertheoldway)norpointing,beingveryinexpertbothintheoneandtheother。Wheretheywhollybreakthesense,Iamverylittleconcerned,fortheyatleastdischargeme;butwheretheysubstituteafalseone,astheysooftendo,andwrestmetotheirconception,theyruinme。Whenthesentence,nevertheless,isnotstrongenoughformyproportion,acivilpersonoughttorejectitasspurious,andnoneofmine。WhoevershallknowhowlazyIam,andhowindulgenttomyownhumour,willeasilybelievethatIhadratherwriteasmanymoreessays,thanbetiedtorevisetheseoveragainforsochildishacorrection。
  Isaidelsewhere,thatbeingplantedintheverycentreofthisnewreligion,Iamnotonlydeprivedofanygreatfamiliaritywithmenofotherkindofmannersthanmyown,andofotheropinions,bywhichtheyholdtogether,asbyatiethatsupersedesallotherobligations;butmoreoverIdonotlivewithoutdanger,amongstmentowhomallthingsareequallylawful,andofwhomthemostpartcannotoffendthelawsmorethantheyhavealreadydone;fromwhichtheextremistdegreeoflicenceproceeds。Alltheparticularbeingsummeduptogether,Idonotfindonemanofmycountry,whopayssodearforthedefenceofourlawsbothinlossanddamages(asthelawyerssay)asmyself;andsometherearewhovapourandbragoftheirzealandconstancy,thatifthingswerejustlyweighed,domuchlessthanI。Myhouse,asonethathaseverbeenopenandfreetoallcomers,andciviltoall(forIcouldneverpersuademyselftomakeitagarrisonofwar,warbeingathingthatIprefertoseeasremoteasmaybe),hassufficientlymeritedpopularkindness,andsothatitwouldbeahardmatterjustlytoinsultovermeuponmyowndunghill;andIlookuponitasawonderfulandexemplarythingthatityetcontinuesavirginfrombloodandplunderduringsolongastorm,andsomanyneighbouringrevolutionsandtumults。Fortoconfessthetruth,ithadbeenpossibleenoughforamanofmycomplexiontohaveshakenhandswithanyoneconstantandcontinuedformwhatever;butthecontraryinvasionsandincursions,alternationsandvicissitudesoffortuneroundaboutme,havehithertomoreexasperatedthancalmedandmollifiedthetemperofthecountry,andinvolvedme,overandoveragain,withinvincibledifficultiesanddangers。
  Iescape,’tistrue,butamtroubledthatitismorebychance,andsomethingofmyownprudence,thanbyjustice;andamnotsatisfiedtobeoutoftheprotectionofthelaws,andunderanyothersafeguardthantheirs。Asmattersstand,Ilive,aboveonehalf,bythefavourofothers,whichisanuntowardobligation。Idonotliketoowemysafetyeithertothegenerosityoraffectionofgreatpersons,whoallowmemylegalityandmyliberty,ortotheobligingmannersofmypredecessors,ormyown:forwhatifIwereanotherkindofman?Ifmydeportment,andthefranknessofmyconversationorrelationship,obligemyneighbours,’tisthatthattheyshouldacquitthemselvesofobligationinonlypermittingmetolive,andtheymaysay,"Weallowhimthefreelibertyofhavingdivineservicereadinhisownprivatechapel,whenitisinterdictedinallchurchesroundabout,andallowhimtheuseofhisgoodsandhislife,asonewhoprotectsourwivesandcattleintimeofneed。"FormyhousehasformanydescentssharedinthereputationofLycurgustheAthenian,whowasthegeneraldepositoryandguardianofthepursesofhisfellow—citizens。NowIamclearlyofopinionthatamanshouldlivebyrightandbyauthority,andnoteitherbyrecompenseorfavour。Howmanygallantmenhaveratherchosentolosetheirlivesthantobedebtorsforthem?Ihatetosubjectmyselftoanysortofobligation,butaboveall,tothatwhichbindsmebythedutyofhonour。
  Ithinknothingsodearaswhathasbeengivenme,andthisbecausemywillliesatpawnunderthetitleofgratitude,andmorewillinglyacceptofservicesthataretobesold;IfeelthatforthelastIgivenothingbutmoney,butfortheotherIgivemyself。
  Theknotthatbindsmebythelawsofcourtesybindsmemorethanthatofcivilconstraint;Iammuchmoreateasewhenboundbyascrivener,thanbymyself。Isitnotreasonthatmyconscienceshouldbemuchmoreengagedwhenmensimplyrelyuponit?Inabond,myfaithowesnothing,becauseithasnothinglentit;letthemtrusttothesecuritytheyhavetakenwithoutme。Ihadmuchratherbreakthewallofaprisonandthelawsthemselvesthanmyownword。Iamnice,eventosuperstition,inkeepingmypromises,and,therefore,uponalloccasionshaveacaretomakethemuncertainandconditional。Tothoseofnogreatmoment,Iaddthejealousyofmyownrule,tomakethemweight;itwracksandoppressesmewithitsowninterest。Eveninactionswhollymyownandfree,ifI
  oncesayathing,IconceivethatIhaveboundmyself,andthatdeliveringittotheknowledgeofanother,Ihavepositivelyenjoineditmyownperformance。MethinksIpromiseit,ifIbutsayit:andthereforeamnotapttosaymuchofthatkind。ThesentencethatIpassuponmyselfismoreseverethanthatofajudge,whoonlyconsidersthecommonobligation;butmyconsciencelooksuponitwithamoresevereandpenetratingeye。IlaginthosedutiestowhichIshouldbecompelledifIdidnotgo:
  "Hocipsumitajustumest,quodrectefit,siestvoluntarium。"
  ["Thisitselfissofarjust,thatitisrightlydone,ifitisvoluntary。"——Cicero,DeOffic。,i。9。]
  Iftheactionhasnotsomesplendourofliberty,ithasneithergracenorhonour:
  "Quodvosjuscogit,vixvoluntateimpetrent:"
  ["Thatwhichthelawscompelustodo,wescarcelydowithawill。"
  ——Terence,Adelph。,iii。3,44。
  wherenecessitydrawsme,Ilovetoletmywilltakeitsowncourse:
  "Quiaquicquidimperiocogitur,exigentimagis,quampraestanti,acceptumrefertur。"
  ["Forwhateveriscompelledbypower,ismoreimputedtohimthatexactsthantohimthatperforms。"——ValeriusMaximus,ii。2,6。]
  Iknowsomewhofollowthisrule,eventoinjustice;whowillsoonergivethanrestore,soonerlendthanpay,andwilldothemtheleastgoodtowhomtheyaremostobliged。Idon’tgosofarasthat,butI’mnotfaroff。
  Isomuchlovetodisengageanddisobligatemyself,thatIhavesometimeslookeduponingratitudes,affronts,andindignitieswhichIhavereceivedfromthosetowhomeitherbynatureoraccidentIwasboundinsomewayoffriendship,asanadvantagetome;takingthisoccasionoftheirill—
  usage,foranacquaintanceanddischargeofsomuchofmydebt。AndthoughIstillcontinuetopaythemalltheexternalofficesofpublicreason,I,notwithstanding,findagreatsavingindoingthatupontheaccountofjusticewhichIdiduponthescoreofaffection,andamalittleeasedoftheattentionandsolicitudeofmyinwardwill:
  "Estprudentissustinere,utcurrum,sicimpetumbenevolentia;"
  ["’Tisthepartofawisemantokeepacurbinghandupontheimpetusoffriendship,asuponthatofhishorse。"
  ——Cicero,DeAmicit。,c。17。]
  ’tisinme,toourgingandpressingwhereItake;atleast,foramanwholovesnottobestrainedatall。AndthishusbandingmyfriendshipservesmeforasortofconsolationintheimperfectionsofthoseinwhomIamconcerned。IamverysorrytheyarenotsuchasIcouldwishtheywere,butthenIalsoamsparedsomewhatofmyapplicationandengagementtowardsthem。Iapproveofamanwhoisthelessfondofhischildforhavingascaldhead,orforbeingcrooked;andnotonlywhenheisill—
  conditioned,butalsowhenheisofunhappydisposition,andimperfectinhislimbs(Godhimselfhasabatedsomuchfromhisvalueandnaturalestimation),providedhecarryhimselfinthiscoldnessofaffectionwithmoderationandexactjustice:proximity,withme,lessensnotdefects,butratheraggravatesthem。
  Afterall,accordingtowhatIunderstandinthescienceofbenefitandacknowledgment,whichisasubtlescience,andofgreatuse,IknownopersonwhatevermorefreeandlessindebtedthanIamatthishour。WhatIdooweissimplytoforeignobligationsandbenefits;astoanythingelse,nomanismoreabsolutelyclear:
  "NecsuntmihinotapotentumMunera。"
  ["Thegiftsofgreatmenareunknowntome。"——AEneid,xii。529。]
  Princesgivemeagreatdealiftheytakenothingfromme;anddomegoodenoughiftheydomenoharm;that’sallIaskfromthem。OhowamI
  obligedtoGod,thathehasbeenpleasedIshouldimmediatelyreceivefromhisbountyallIhave,andspeciallyreservedallmyobligationtohimself。HowearnestlydoIbegofhisholycompassionthatImayneveroweessentialthankstoanyone。OhappylibertywhereinIhavethusfarlived。Mayitcontinuewithmetothelast。Iendeavourtohavenoexpressneedofanyone:
  "Inmeomnisspecestmihi。"
  ["Allmyhopeisinmyself。"——Terence,Adelph。,iii。5,9。]
  ’Tiswhateveryonemaydoinhimself,butmoreeasilytheywhomGodhasplacedinaconditionexemptfromnaturalandurgentnecessities。Itisawretchedanddangerousthingtodependuponothers;weourselves,inwhomiseverthemostjustandsafestdependence,arenotsufficientlysure。