Amongstthefunctionsofthesoul，therearesomeofalowerandmeanerform;hewhodoesnotseeherinthoseinferiorofficesaswellasinthoseofnoblernote，neverfullydiscoversher;and，peradventure，sheisbestshownwhereshemoveshersimplerpace。Thewindsofpassionstakemostholdofherinherhighestflights;andtheratherbyreasonthatshewhollyappliesherselfto，andexercisesherwholevirtueupon，everyparticularsubject，andneverhandlesmorethanonethingatatime，andthatnotaccordingtoit，butaccordingtoherself。Thingsinrespecttothemselveshave，peradventure，theirweight，measures，andconditions;butwhenweoncetakethemintous，thesoulformsthemasshepleases。DeathisterribletoCicero，covetedbyCato，indifferenttoSocrates。Health，conscience，authority，knowledge，riches，beauty，andtheircontraries，allstripthemselvesattheirenteringintous，andreceiveanewrobe，andofanotherfashion，fromthesoul;andofwhatcolour，brown，bright，green，dark，andofwhatquality，sharp，sweet，deep，orsuperficial，asbestpleaseseachofthem，fortheyarenotagreeduponanycommonstandardofforms，rules，orproceedings;everyoneisaqueeninherowndominions。Letus，therefore，nomoreexcuseourselvesupontheexternalqualitiesofthings;itbelongstoustogiveourselvesanaccountofthem。Ourgoodorillhasnootherdependencebutonourselves。’Tistherethatourofferingsandourvowsaredue，andnottofortuneshehasnopoweroverourmanners;onthecontrary，theydrawandmakeherfollowintheirtrain，andcastherintheirownmould。WhyshouldnotIjudgeofAlexanderattable，rantinganddrinkingattheprodigiousratehesometimesusedtodo？
Or，ifheplayedatchess？whatstringofhissoulwasnottouchedbythisidleandchildishgame？Ihateandavoidit，becauseitisnotplayenough，thatitistoograveandseriousadiversion，andIamashamedtolayoutasmuchthoughtandstudyuponitaswouldservetomuchbetteruses。HedidnotmorepumphisbrainsabouthisgloriousexpeditionintotheIndies，northananotherinunravellingapassageuponwhichdependsthesafetyofmankind。Towhatadegreedoesthisridiculousdiversionmolestthesoul，whenallherfacultiesaresummonedtogetheruponthistrivialaccount！andhowfairanopportunityshehereingiveseveryonetoknowandtomakearightjudgmentofhimself？Idonotmorethoroughlysiftmyselfinanyotherposturethanthis:whatpassionareweexemptedfrominit？Anger，spite，malice，impatience，andavehementdesireofgettingthebetterinaconcernwhereinitweremoreexcusabletobeambitiousofbeingovercome;fortobeeminent，toexcelabovethecommonrateinfrivolousthings，nowisebefitsamanofhonour。WhatI
sayinthisexamplemaybesaidinallothers。Everyparticle，everyemploymentofmanmanifestshimequallywithanyother。
DemocritusandHeraclitusweretwophilosophers，ofwhomthefirst，findinghumanconditionridiculousandvain，neverappearedabroadbutwithajeeringandlaughingcountenance;whereasHeraclituscommiseratingthatsameconditionofours，appearedalwayswithasorrowfullook，andtearsinhiseyes:
"AlterRidebat，quotiesaliminemoveratunumProtuleratquepedem;flebatcontrariusalter。"
["Theonealways，asoftenashehadsteppedonepacefromhisthreshold，laughed，theotheralwayswept。"——Juvenal，Sat。，x。28。]
[Or，asVoltaire:"Lifeisacomedytothosewhothink;
atragedytothosewhofeel。"D。W。]
Iamclearlyforthefirsthumour;notbecauseitismorepleasanttolaughthantoweep，butbecauseitexpressesmorecontemptandcondemnationthantheother，andIthinkwecanneverbedespisedaccordingtoourfulldesert。Compassionandbewailingseemtoimplysomeesteemofandvalueforthethingbemoaned;whereasthethingswelaughatarebythatexpressedtobeofnomoment。Idonotthinkthatwearesounhappyaswearevain，orhaveinussomuchmaliceasfolly;
wearenotsofullofmischiefasinanity;norsomiserableaswearevileandmean。AndthereforeDiogenes，whopassedawayhistimeinrollinghimselfinhistub，andmadenothingofthegreatAlexander，esteemingusnobetterthanfliesorbladderspuffedupwithwind，wasasharperandmorepenetrating，and，consequentlyinmyopinion，ajusterjudgethanTimon，surnamedtheMan—hater;forwhatamanhateshelaystoheart。Thislastwasanenemytoallmankind，whopassionatelydesiredourruin，andavoidedourconversationasdangerous，proceedingfromwickedanddepravednatures:theothervaluedussolittlethatwecouldneithertroublenorinfecthimbyourexample;andleftustoherdonewithanother，notoutoffear，butfromcontemptofoursociety:
concludingusasincapableofdoinggoodasevil。
OfthesamestrainwasStatilius’answer，whenBrutuscourtedhimintotheconspiracyagainstCaesar;hewassatisfiedthattheenterprisewasjust，buthedidnotthinkmankindworthyofawiseman’sconcern’;
accordingtothedoctrineofHegesias，whosaid，thatawisemanoughttodonothingbutforhimself，forasmuchasheonlywasworthyofit:andtothesayingofTheodorus，thatitwasnotreasonableawisemanshouldhazardhimselfforhiscountry，andendangerwisdomforacompanyoffools。Ourconditionisasridiculousasrisible。
CHAPTERLI
OFTHEVANITYOFWORDS
Arhetoricianoftimespastsaid，thattomakelittlethingsappeargreatwashisprofession。Thiswasashoemaker，whocanmakeagreatshoeforalittlefoot。——[AsayingofAgesilaus。]——TheywouldinSpartahavesentsuchafellowtobewhippedformakingprofessionofatrickyanddeceitfulact;andIfancythatArchidamus，whowaskingofthatcountry，wasalittlesurprisedattheanswerofThucydides，wheninquiringofhim，whichwasthebetterwrestler，Pericles，orhe，hereplied，thatitwashardtoaffirm;forwhenIhavethrownhim，saidhe，healwayspersuadesthespectatorsthathehadnofallandcarriesawaytheprize。
——[Quintilian，ii。15。——Thewomenwhopaint，pounce，andplasteruptheirruins，fillinguptheirwrinklesanddeformities，arelesstoblame，becauseitisnogreatmatterwhetherweseethemintheirnaturalcomplexions;whereasthesemakeittheirbusinesstodeceivenotoursightonlybutourjudgments，andtoadulterateandcorrupttheveryessenceofthings。Therepublicsthathavemaintainedthemselvesinaregularandwell—modelledgovernment，suchasthoseofLacedaemonandCrete，hadoratorsinnoverygreatesteem。Aristowiselydefinedrhetorictobe"asciencetopersuadethepeople;"SocratesandPlato"anarttoflatteranddeceive。"Andthosewhodenyitinthegeneraldescription，verifyitthroughoutintheirprecepts。TheMohammedanswillnotsuffertheirchildrentobeinstructedinit，asbeinguseless，andtheAthenians，perceivingofhowperniciousconsequencethepracticeofitwas，itbeingintheircityofuniversalesteem，orderedtheprincipalpart，whichistomovetheaffections，withtheirexordiumsandperorations，tobetakenaway。’Tisanengineinventedtomanageandgovernadisorderlyandtumultuousrabble，andthatneverismadeuseof，butlikephysictothesick，inadiscomposedstate。Inthosewherethevulgarortheignorant，orbothtogether，havebeenall—powerfulandabletogivethelaw，asinthoseofAthens，Rhodes，andRome，andwherethepublicaffairshavebeeninacontinualtempestofcommotion，tosuchplaceshavetheoratorsalwaysrepaired。Andintruth，weshallfindfewpersonsinthoserepublicswhohavepushedtheirfortunestoanygreatdegreeofeminencewithouttheassistanceofeloquence。
Pompey，Caesar，Crassus，Lucullus，Lentulus，Metellus，thencetooktheirchiefestspring，tomounttothatdegreeofauthorityatwhichtheyatlastarrived，makingitofgreaterusetothemthanarms，contrarytotheopinionofbettertimes;for，L。Volumniusspeakingpubliclyinfavouroftheelectionof（Q。FabiusandPub。Decius，totheconsulardignity:
"Thesearemen，"saidhe，"bornforwarandgreatinexecution;inthecombatofthetonguealtogetherwanting;spiritstrulyconsular。Thesubtle，eloquent，andlearnedareonlygoodforthecity，tomakepraetorsof，toadministerjustice。"——[Livy，x。22。]
EloquencemostflourishedatRomewhenthepublicaffairswereintheworstconditionandmostdisquietedwithintestinecommotions;asafreeanduntilledsoilbearstheworstweeds。Bywhichitshouldseemthatamonarchicalgovernmenthaslessneedofitthananyother:forthestupidityandfacilitynaturaltothecommonpeople，andthatrenderthemsubjecttobeturnedandtwinedand，ledbytheearsbythischarmingharmonyofwords，withoutweighingorconsideringthetruthandrealityofthingsbytheforceofreason:thisfacility，Isay，isnoteasilyfoundinasingleperson，anditisalsomoreeasybygoodeducationandadvicetosecurehimfromtheimpressionofthispoison。TherewasneveranyfamousoratorknowntocomeoutofPersiaorMacedon。
IhaveenteredintothisdiscourseupontheoccasionofanItalianI
latelyreceivedintomyservice，andwhowasclerkofthekitchentothelateCardinalCaraffatillhisdeath。Iputthisfellowuponanaccountofhisoffice:whenhefelltodiscourseofthispalate—science，withsuchasettledcountenanceandmagisterialgravity，asifhehadbeenhandlingsomeprofoundpointofdivinity。Hemadealearneddistinctionoftheseveralsortsofappetites;ofthatamanhasbeforehebeginstoeat，andofthoseafterthesecondandthirdservice;themeanssimplytosatisfythefirst，andthentoraiseandactuatetheothertwo;theorderingofthesauces，firstingeneral，andthenproceededtothequalitiesoftheingredientsandtheireffects;thedifferencesofsaladsaccordingtotheirseasons，thosewhichoughttobeserveduphot，andwhichcold;themanneroftheirgarnishmentanddecorationtorenderthemacceptabletotheeye。Afterwhichheenteredupontheorderofthewholeservice，fullofweightyandimportantconsiderations:
"Necminimosanediscriminerefert，Quogestulepores，etquogallinasecetur;"
["Norwithlessdiscriminationobserveshowweshouldcarveahare，andhowahen。"or，（"Norwiththeleastdiscriminationrelateshowweshouldcarvehares，andhowcutupahen。）"
——Juvenal，Sat。，v。123。]
andallthissetoutwithloftyandmagnificentwords，theverysamewemakeuseofwhenwediscourseofthegovernmentofanempire。WhichlearnedlectureofmymanbroughtthisofTerenceintomymemory:
"Hocsalsumest，hocadustumest，hoclautumest，parum:
Illudrecte:iterumsicmemento:seduloMoneo，quxpossum，promeasapientia。
Postremo，tanquaminspeculum，inpatinas，Demea，Inspicerejubeo，etmoneo，quidfactousussit。"
["Thisistoosalt，that’sburnt，that’snotwashedenough;that’swell;remembertodosoanothertime。ThusdoIeveradvisethemtohavethingsdoneproperly，accordingtomycapacity;andlastly，Demea，Icommandmycookstolookintoeverydishasifitwereamirror，andtellthemwhattheyshoulddo。"
——Terence，Adelph。，iii。3，71。]
AndyeteventheGreeksthemselvesverymuchadmiredandhighlyapplaudedtheorderanddispositionthatPaulusAEmiliusobservedinthefeasthegavethemathisreturnfromMacedon。ButIdonotherespeakofeffects，Ispeakofwordsonly。
Idonotknowwhetheritmayhavethesameoperationuponothermenthatithasuponme，butwhenIhearourarchitectsthunderouttheirbombastwordsofpilasters，architraves，andcornices，oftheCorinthianandDoricorders，andsuchlikejargon，myimaginationispresentlypossessedwiththepalaceofApollidon;when，afterall，Ifindthembutthepaltrypiecesofmyownkitchendoor。
Tohearmentalkofmetonomies，metaphors，andallegories，andothergrammarwords，wouldnotonethinktheysignifiedsomerareandexoticformofspeaking？Andyettheyarephrasesthatcomeneartothebabbleofmychambermaid。
Andthisotherisagulleryofthesamestamp，tocalltheofficesofourkingdombytheloftytitlesoftheRomans，thoughtheyhavenosimilitudeoffunction，andstilllessofauthorityandpower。Andthisalso，whichIdoubtwillonedayturntothereproachofthisageofours，unworthilyandindifferentlytoconferuponanywethinkfitthemostglorioussurnameswithwhichantiquityhonouredbutoneortwopersonsinseveralages。PlatocarriedawaythesurnameofDivine，bysouniversalaconsentthatneveranyonerepinedatit，orattemptedtotakeitfromhim;andyettheItalians，whopretend，andwithgoodreason，tomoresprightlywitsandsoundersensethantheothernationsoftheirtime，havelatelybestowedthesametitleuponAretin，inwhosewritings，savetumidphrasessetoutwithsmartperiods，ingeniousindeedbutfar—
fetchedandfantastic，andtheeloquence，beitwhatitmay，Iseenothinginhimabovetheordinarywritersofhistime，sofarishefromapproachingtheancientdivinity。Andwemakenothingofgivingthesurnameofgreattoprinceswhohavenothingmorethanordinaryinthem。
CHAPTERLII
OFTHEPARSIMONYOFTHEANCIENTS
AttiliusRegulus，generaloftheRomanarmyinAfrica，intheheightofallhisgloryandvictoriesovertheCarthaginians，wrotetotheRepublictoacquaintthemthatacertainhindhehadleftintrustwithhisestate，whichwasinallbutsevenacresofland，hadrunawaywithallhisinstrumentsofhusbandry，andentreatingtherefore，thattheywouldpleasetocallhimhomethathemighttakeorderinhisownaffairs，lesthiswifeandchildrenshouldsufferbythisdisaster。WhereupontheSenateappointedanothertomanagehisbusiness，causedhislossestobemadegood，andorderedhisfamilytobemaintainedatthepublicexpense。
TheelderCato，returningconsulfromSpain，soldhiswarhorsetosavethemoneyitwouldhavecostinbringingitbackbyseaintoItaly;andbeingGovernorofSardinia，hemadeallhisvisitsonfoot，withoutothertrainthanoneofficeroftheRepublicwhocarriedhisrobeandacenserforsacrifices，andforthemostpartcarriedhistrunkhimself。Hebraggedthathehadneverwornagownthatcostabovetencrowns，norhadeversentabovetenpencetothemarketforoneday’sprovision;andthatastohiscountryhouses，hehadnotonethatwasrough—castontheoutside。
ScipioAEmilianus，aftertwotriumphsandtwoconsulships，wentanembassywithnomorethansevenservantsinhistrain。’TissaidthatHomerhadnevermorethanone，Platothree，andZeno，founderofthesectofStoics，noneatall。TiberiusGracchuswasallowedbutfivepencehalfpennyadaywhenemployedaspublicministeraboutthepublicaffairs，andbeingatthattimethegreatestmanofRome。
CHAPTERLIII
OFASAYINGOFCAESAR
Ifwewouldsometimesbestowalittleconsiderationuponourselves，andemploythetimewespendinpryingintoothermen’sactions，anddiscoveringthingswithoutus，inexaminingourownabilitiesweshouldsoonperceiveofhowinfirmanddecayingmaterialthisfabricofoursiscomposed。Isitnotasingulartestimonyofimperfectionthatwecannotestablishoursatisfactioninanyonething，andthatevenourownfancyanddesireshoulddepriveusofthepowertochoosewhatismostproperandusefulforus？Averygoodproofofthisisthegreatdisputethathaseverbeenamongstthephilosophers，offindingoutman’ssovereigngood，thatcontinuesyet，andwilleternallycontinue，withoutsolutionoraccord:
"Dumabestquodavemus，idexsuperarevideturCaetera;postaliud，quumcontigitillud，avemus，Etsitisaequatenet。"
["Whilethatwhichwedesireiswanting，itseemstosurpassalltherest;then，whenwehavegotit，wewantsomethingelse;’tiseverthesamethirst"——Lucretius，iii。1095。
Whateveritisthatfallsintoourknowledgeandpossession，wefindthatitsatisfiesnot，andwestillpantafterthingstocomeandunknown，inasmuchasthosepresentdonotsufficeforus;notthat，inmyjudgment，theyhavenotinthemwherewithtodoit，butbecauseweseizethemwithanunrulyandimmoderatehaste:
"Namquumvidithic，advictumquxflagitatusus，Etperquaepossentvitamconsisteretutam，Omniajamfermemortalibusesseparata;
Divitiishomines，ethonore，etlaudepotentesAflluere，atquebonanatorumexcellerefama;
Necminusessedomicuiquamtamenanxiacorda，AtqueanimiingratisvitamvexarequerelisCausam，quaeinfestiscogitsaevirequerelis，Intellegitibi;vitiumvasefficereipsum，Omniaque，illiusvitio，corrumpierintus，Quxcollataforisetcommodaquomquevenirent。"
["Forwhenhesawthatalmostallthingsnecessarilyrequiredforsubsistence，andwhichmayrenderlifecomfortable，arealreadypreparedtotheirhand，thatmenmayabundantlyattainwealth，honour，praise，mayrejoiceinthereputationoftheirchildren，yetthat，notwithstanding，everyonehasnonethelessinhisheartandhomeanxietiesandamindenslavedbywearingcomplaints，hesawthatthevesselitselfwasinfault，andthatallgoodthingswhichwerebroughtintoitfromwithoutwerespoiltbyitsownimperfections。"——Lucretius，vi。9。]
Ourappetiteisirresoluteandfickle;itcanneitherkeepnorenjoyanythingwithagoodgrace:andmanconcludingittobethefaultofthethingsheispossessedof，fillshimselfwithandfeedsupontheideaofthingsheneitherknowsnorunderstands，towhichhedevoteshishopesandhisdesires，payingthemallreverenceandhonour，accordingtothesayingofCaesar:
"Communifitvitionaturae，utinvisis，latitantibusatqueincognitisrebusmagisconfidamas，vehementiusqueexterreamur。"
["’Tisthecommonviceofnature，thatweatoncereposemostconfidence，andreceivethegreatestapprehensions，fromthingsunseen，concealed，andunknown。"——DeBelloCivil，xi。4。]
CHAPTERLIV
OFVAINSUBTLETIES
Thereareasortoflittleknacksandfrivoloussubtletiesfromwhichmensometimesexpecttoderivereputationandapplause:aspoets，whocomposewholepoemswitheverylinebeginningwiththesameletter;weseetheshapesofeggs，globes，wings，andhatchetscutoutbytheancientGreeksbythemeasureoftheirverses，makingthemlongerorshorter，torepresentsuchorsuchafigure。Ofthisnaturewashisemploymentwhomadeithisbusinesstocomputeintohowmanyseveralordersthelettersofthealphabetmightbetransposed，andfoundoutthatincrediblenumbermentionedinPlutarch。Iammightilypleasedwiththehumourofhim，["Alexander，asmaybeseeninQuintil。，Institut。Orat。，lib。
ii。，cap。20，wherehedefinesMaratarexvia’tobeacertainunnecessaryimitationofart，whichreallydoesneithergoodnorharm，butisasunprofitableandridiculousaswasthelabourofthatmanwhohadsoperfectlylearnedtocastsmallpeasthroughtheeyeofaneedleatagooddistancethathenevermissedone，andwasjustlyrewardedforit，asissaid，byAlexander，whosawtheperformance，withabushelofpeas。"——Coste。
whohavingamanbroughtbeforehimthathadlearnedtothrowagrainofmilletwithsuchdexterityandassuranceasnevertomisstheeyeofaneedle;andbeingafterwardsentreatedtogivesomethingfortherewardofsorareaperformance，hepleasantly，andinmyopinionjustly，orderedacertainnumberofbushelsofthesamegraintobedeliveredtohim，thathemightnotwantwherewithtoexercisesofamousanart。’Tisastrongevidenceofaweakjudgmentwhenmenapproveofthingsfortheirbeingrareandnew，orfortheirdifficulty，whereworthandusefulnessarenotconjoinedtorecommendthem。
Icomejustnowfromplayingwithmyownfamilyatwhocouldfindoutthemostthingsthatholdbytheirtwoextremities;asSire，whichisatitlegiventothegreatestpersoninthenation，theking，andalsotothevulgar，asmerchants，butnevertoanydegreeofmenbetween。ThewomenofgreatqualityarecalledDames，inferiorgentlewomen，Demoiselles，andthemeanestsortofwomen，Dames，asthefirst。Theclothofstateoverourtablesisnotpermittedbutinthepalacesofprincesandintaverns。
Democritussaid，thatgodsandbeastshadsharpersensethanmen，whoareofamiddleform。TheRomansworethesamehabitatfuneralsandfeasts。
Itismostcertainthatanextremefearandanextremeardourofcourageequallytroubleandrelaxthebelly。ThenicknameofTremblingwithwhichtheysurnamedSanchoXII。，kingofNavarre，tellsusthatvalourwillcauseatremblinginthelimbsaswellasfear。Thosewhowerearmingthatking，orsomeotherperson，whouponthelikeoccasionwaswonttobeinthesamedisorder，triedtocomposehimbyrepresentingthedangerlesshewasgoingtoengagehimselfin:"Youunderstandmeill，"
saidhe，"forcouldmyfleshknowthedangermycouragewillpresentlycarryitinto，itwouldsinkdowntotheground。"ThefaintnessthatsurprisesusfromfrigidityordislikeintheexercisesofVenusarealsooccasionedbyatooviolentdesireandanimmoderateheat。Extremecoldnessandextremeheatboilandroast。Aristotlesays，thatsowsofleadwillmeltandrunwithcoldandtherigourofwinterjustaswithavehementheat。Desireandsatietyfillallthegradationsaboveandbelowpleasurewithpain。Stupidityandwisdommeetinthesamecentreofsentimentandresolution，inthesufferingofhumanaccidents。Thewisecontrolandtriumphoverill，theothersknowitnot:theselastare，asamanmaysay，onthissideofaccidents，theothersarebeyondthem，whoafterhavingwellweighedandconsideredtheirqualities，measuredandjudgedthemwhattheyare，byvirtueofavigoroussoulleapoutoftheirreach;theydisdainandtramplethemunderfoot，havingasolidandwell—fortifiedsoul，againstwhichthedartsoffortune，comingtostrike，mustofnecessityreboundandbluntthemselves，meetingwithabodyuponwhichtheycanfixnoimpression;theordinaryandmiddleconditionofmenarelodgedbetwixtthesetwoextremities，consistingofsuchasperceiveevils，feelthem，andarenotabletosupportthem。
Infancyanddecrepitudemeetintheimbecilityofthebrain;avariceandprofusioninthesamethirstanddesireofgetting。
AmanmaysaywithsomecolouroftruththatthereisanAbecedarianignorancethatprecedesknowledge，andadoctoralignorancethatcomesafterit:anignorancethatknowledgecreatesandbegets，atthesametimethatitdespatchesanddestroysthefirst。Ofmeanunderstandings，littleinquisitive，andlittleinstructed，aremadegoodChristians，whobyreverenceandobediencesimplybelieveandareconstantintheirbelief。Intheaverageunderstandingsandthemiddlesortofcapacities，theerrorofopinionisbegotten;theyfollowtheappearanceofthefirstimpression，andhavesomecolourofreasonontheirsidetoimputeourwalkingonintheoldbeatenpathtosimplicityandstupidity，meaninguswhohavenotinformedourselvesbystudy。Thehigherandnoblersouls，moresolidandclear—sighted，makeupanothersortoftruebelievers，whobyalongandreligiousinvestigationoftruth，haveobtainedaclearerandmorepenetratinglightintotheScriptures，andhavediscoveredthemysteriousanddivinesecretofourecclesiasticalpolity;andyetweseesome，whobythemiddlestep，havearrivedatthatsupremedegreewithmarvellousfruitandconfirmation，astotheutmostlimitofChristianintelligence，andenjoytheirvictorywithgreatspiritualconsolation，humbleacknowledgmentofthedivinefavour，reformationofmanners，andsingularmodesty。Idonotintendwiththesetorankthoseothers，whotoclearthemselvesfromallsuspicionoftheirformererrorsandtosatisfyusthattheyaresoundandfirm，renderthemselvesextremelyindiscreetandunjust，inthecarryingonourcause，andblemishitwithinfinitereproachesofviolenceandoppression。Thesimplepeasantsaregoodpeople，andsoarethephilosophers，orwhateverthepresentagecallsthem，menofstrongandclearreason，andwhosesoulsareenrichedwithanampleinstructionofprofitablesciences。Themongrelswhohavedisdainedthefirstformoftheignoranceofletters，andhavenotbeenabletoattaintotheother（sittingbetwixttwostools，asIandagreatmanymoreofusdo），aredangerous，foolish，andimportunate;thesearetheythattroubletheworld。AndthereforeitisthatI，formyownpart，retreatasmuchasIcantowardsthefirstandnaturalstation，whenceIsovainlyattemptedtoadvance。
Popularandpurelynaturalpoesy["Thetermpoesiepopulairewasemployed，forthefirsttime，intheFrenchlanguageonthisoccasion。Montaignecreatedtheexpression，andindicateditsnature。"——Ampere。]
hasinitcertainartlessgraces，bywhichshemaycomeintocomparisonwiththegreatestbeautyofpoetryperfectedbyart:asweseeinourGasconvillanelsandthesongsthatarebroughtusfromnationsthathavenoknowledgeofanymannerofscience，norsomuchastheuseofwriting。
Themiddlesortofpoesybetwixtthesetwoisdespised，ofnovalue，honour，oresteem。
Butseeingthatthepathoncelaidopentothefancy，Ihavefound，asitcommonlyfallsout，thatwhatwehavetakenforadifficultexerciseandararesubject，provetobenothingso，andthataftertheinventionisoncewarm，itfindsoutaninfinitenumberofparallelexamples。Ishallonlyaddthisone——that，weretheseEssaysofmineconsiderableenoughtodeserveacriticaljudgment，itmightthen，Ithink，falloutthattheywouldnotmuchtakewithcommonandvulgarcapacities，norbeveryacceptabletothesingularandexcellentsortofmen;thefirstwouldnotunderstandthemenough，andthelasttoomuch;andsotheymayhoverinthemiddleregion。
CHAPTERLV
OFSMELLS
Ithasbeenreportedofsome，asofAlexandertheGreat，thattheirsweatexhaledanodoriferoussmell，occasionedbysomerareandextraordinaryconstitution，ofwhichPlutarchandothershavebeeninquisitiveintothecause。Buttheordinaryconstitutionofhumanbodiesisquiteotherwise，andtheirbestandchiefestexcellencyistobeexemptfromsmell。Nay，thesweetnessevenofthepurestbreathhasnothinginitofgreaterperfectionthantobewithoutanyoffensivesmell，likethoseofhealthfulchildren，whichmadePlautussayofawoman:
"Muliertumbeneolet，ubinihilolet。"
["Shesmellssweetest，whosmellsnotatall。
——Plautus，Mostel，i。3，116。]
Andsuchasmakeuseoffineexoticperfumesarewithgoodreasontobesuspectedofsomenaturalimperfectionwhichtheyendeavourbytheseodourstoconceal。Tosmell，thoughwell，istostink:
"Ridesnos，Coracine，nilolentesMalo，quambeneolere，nilolere。"
["Youlaughatus，Coracinus，becausewearenotscented;Iwould，ratherthansmellwell，notsmellatall。"——Martial，vi。55，4。]
Andelsewhere:
"Posthume，nonbeneolet，quibenesemperolet。"
["Posthumus，hewhoeversmellswelldoesnotsmellwell。"
——Idem，ii。12，14。]
Iamneverthelessagreatloverofgoodsmells，andasmuchabominatetheillones，whichalsoIscentatagreaterdistance，Ithink，thanothermen:
"Namquesagaciusunusodoror，Polypus，angravishirsutiscubethircusinaliisQuamcanisacer，ubilatestsus。"
["Mynoseisquickertoscentafetidsoreorarankarmpit，thanadogtosmelloutthehiddensow。"——Horace，Epod。，xii。4。]
Ofsmells，thesimpleandnaturalseemtomethemostpleasing。Lettheladieslooktothat，for’tischieflytheirconcern:amidthemostprofoundbarbarism，theScythianwomen，afterbathing，werewonttopowderandcrusttheirfacesandalltheirbodieswithacertainodoriferousdruggrowingintheircountry，whichbeingcleansedoff，whentheycametohavefamiliaritywithmentheywerefoundperfumedandsleek。’Tisnottobebelievedhowstrangelyallsortsofodourscleavetome，andhowaptmyskinistoimbibethem。Hethatcomplainsofnaturethatshehasnotfurnishedmankindwithavehicletoconveysmellstothenosehadnoreason;fortheywilldoitthemselves，especiallytome;myverymustachios，whicharefull，performthatoffice;forifI
strokethembutwithmyglovesorhandkerchief，thesmellwillnotoutawholeday;theymanifestwhereIhavebeen，andtheclose，luscious，devouring，viscidmeltingkissesofyouthfulardourinmywantonageleftasweetnessuponmylipsforseveralhoursafter。AndyetIhaveeverfoundmyselflittlesubjecttoepidemicdiseases，thatarecaught，eitherbyconversingwiththesickorbredbythecontagionoftheair，andhaveescapedfromthoseofmytime，ofwhichtherehavebeenseveralsortsinourcitiesandarmies。WereadofSocrates，thatthoughheneverdepartedfromAthensduringthefrequentplaguesthatinfestedthecity，heonlywasneverinfected。
Physiciansmight，Ibelieve，extractgreaterutilityfromodoursthantheydo，forIhaveoftenobservedthattheycauseanalterationinmeandworkuponmyspiritsaccordingtotheirseveralvirtues;whichmakesmeapproveofwhatissaid，thattheuseofincenseandperfumesinchurches，soancientandsouniversallyreceivedinallnationsandreligions，wasintendedtocheerus，andtorouseandpurifythesenses，thebettertofitusforcontemplation。
Icouldhavebeenglad，thebettertojudgeofit，tohavetastedtheculinaryartofthosecookswhohadsorareawayofseasoningexoticodourswiththerelishofmeats;asitwasparticularlyobservedintheserviceofthekingofTunis，whoinourdays——[Muley—Hassam，in1543。]
——landedatNaplestohaveaninterviewwithCharlestheEmperor。Hisdisheswerelardedwithodoriferousdrugs，tothatdegreeofexpensethatthecookeryofonepeacockandtwopheasantsamountedtoahundredducatstodressthemaftertheirfashion;andwhenthecarvercametocutthemup，notonlythedining—room，butalltheapartmentsofhispalaceandtheadjoiningstreetswerefilledwithanaromaticvapourwhichdidnotpresentlyvanish。
Mychiefestcareinchoosingmylodgingsisalwaystoavoidathickandstinkingair;andthosebeautifulcities，VeniceandParis，verymuchlessenthekindnessIhaveforthem，theonebytheoffensivesmellofhermarshes，andtheotherofherdirt。
CHAPTERLVI
OFPRAYERS
Iproposeformlessandundeterminedfancies，likethosewhopublishdoubtfulquestions，tobeafteradisputeduponintheschools，nottoestablishtruthbuttoseekit;andIsubmitthemtothejudgmentsofthosewhoseofficeitistoregulate，notmywritingsandactionsonly，butmoreovermyverythoughts。LetwhatIheresetdownmeetwithcorrectionorapplause，itshallbeofequalwelcomeandutilitytome，myselfbeforehandcondemningasabsurdandimpious，ifanythingshallbefound，throughignoranceorinadvertency，couchedinthisrhapsody，contrarytotheholyresolutionsandprescriptionsoftheCatholicApostolicandRomanChurch，intowhichIwasbornandinwhichIwilldie。Andyet，alwayssubmittingtotheauthorityoftheircensure，whichhasanabsolutepoweroverme，Ithusrashlyventureateverything，asintreatinguponthispresentsubject。
IknownotifornoIamwrong，butsince，byaparticularfavourofthedivinebounty，acertainformofprayerhasbeenprescribedanddictatedtous，wordbyword，fromthemouthofGodHimself，Ihaveeverbeenofopinionthatweoughttohaveitinmorefrequentusethanweyethave;
andifIwereworthytoadvise，atthesittingdowntoandrisingfromourtables，atourrisingfromandgoingtobed，andineveryparticularactionwhereinprayerisused，IwouldthatChristiansalwaysmakeuseoftheLord’sPrayer，ifnotalone，yetatleastalways。TheChurchmaylengthenanddiversifyprayers，accordingtothenecessityofourinstruction，forIknowverywellthatitisalwaysthesameinsubstanceandthesamething:butyetsuchaprivilegeoughttobegiventothatprayer，thatthepeopleshouldhaveitcontinuallyintheirmouths;foritismostcertainthatallnecessarypetitionsarecomprehendedinit，andthatitisinfinitelyproperforalloccasions。’TistheonlyprayerIuseinallplacesandconditions，andwhichIstillrepeatinsteadofchanging;whenceitalsohappensthatIhavenoothersoentirelybyheartasthat。
Itjustnowcameintomymind，whenceitisweshouldderivethaterrorofhavingrecoursetoGodinallourdesignsandenterprises，tocallHimtoourassistanceinallsortsofaffairs，andinallplaceswhereourweaknessstandsinneedofsupport，withoutconsideringwhethertheoccasionbejustorotherwise;andtoinvokeHisnameandpower，inwhatstatesoeverweare，oractionweareengagedin，howsoevervicious。Heisindeed，oursoleanduniqueprotector，andcandoallthingsforus:
butthoughHeispleasedtohonouruswiththissweetpaternalalliance，Heis，notwithstanding，asjustasHeisgoodandmighty;andmoreoftenexercisesHisjusticethanHispower，andfavoursusaccordingtothat，andnotaccordingtoourpetitions。
PlatoinhisLaws，makesthreesortsofbeliefinjurioustothegods;"
thattherearenone;thattheyconcernnotthemselvesaboutouraffairs;
thattheyneverrefuseanythingtoourvows，offerings，andsacrifices。"
Thefirstoftheseerrors（accordingtohisopinion，nevercontinuedrootedinanymanfromhisinfancytohisoldage;theothertwo，heconfesses，menmightbeobstinatein。
God’sjusticeandHispowerareinseparable;’tisinvainweinvokeHispowerinanunjustcause。Wearetohaveoursoulspureandclean，atthatmomentatleastwhereinwepraytoHim，andpurifiedfromallviciouspassions;otherwiseweourselvespresentHimtherodswherewithtochastiseus;insteadofrepairinganythingwehavedoneamiss，wedoublethewickednessandtheoffencewhenweoffertoHim，towhomwearetosueforpardon，anaffectionfullofirreverenceandhatred。
WhichmakesmenotveryapttoapplaudthosewhomIobservetobesofrequentontheirknees，iftheactionsnearesttotheprayerdonotgivemesomeevidenceofamendmentandreformation:
"Si，nocturnusadulter，TemporaSantonicovelasadopertacucullo。"
["Ifanightadulterer，thoucoverestthyheadwithaSantoniccowl。"——Juvenal，Sat。，viii。144。——TheSantoneswerethepeoplewhoinhabitedSaintongeinFrance，fromwhomtheRomansderivedtheuseofhoodsorcowlscoveringtheheadandface。]
Andthepracticeofamanwhomixesdevotionwithanexecrablelifeseemsinsomesortmoretobecondemnedthanthatofamanconformabletohisownpropensionanddissolutethroughout;andforthatreasonitisthatourChurchdeniesadmittancetoandcommunionwithmenobstinateandincorrigibleinanynotoriouswickedness。Weprayonlybycustomandforfashion’ssake;orrather，wereadorpronounceourprayersaloud，whichisnobetterthananhypocriticalshowofdevotion;andIamscandalisedtoseeamancrosshimselfthriceattheBenedicite，andasoftenatGrace（andthemore，becauseitisasignIhaveingreatvenerationandcontinualuse，evenwhenIyawn），andtodedicatealltheotherhoursofthedaytoactsofmalice，avarice，andinjustice。OnehourtoGod，theresttothedevil，asifbycompositionandcompensation。’Tisawondertoseeactionssovariousinthemselvessucceedoneanotherwithsuchanuniformityofmethodasnottointerferenorsufferanyalteration，evenupontheveryconfinesandpassesfromtheonetotheother。Whataprodigiousconsciencemustthatbethatcanbeatquietwithinitselfwhilstitharboursunderthesameroof，withsoagreeingandsocalmasociety，boththecrimeandthejudge？
AmanwhosewholemeditationiscontinuallyworkinguponnothingbutimpuritywhichheknowstobesoodioustoAlmightyGod，whatcanhesaywhenhecomestospeaktoHim？Hedrawsback，butimmediatelyfallsintoarelapse。IftheobjectofdivinejusticeandthepresenceofhisMakerdid，ashepretends，strikeandchastisehissoul，howshortsoevertherepentancemightbe，theveryfearofoffendingtheInfiniteMajestywouldsooftenpresentitselftohisimaginationthathewouldsoonseehimselfmasterofthosevicesthataremostnaturalandvehementinhim。
Butwhatshallwesayofthosewhosettletheirwholecourseoflifeupontheprofitandemolumentofsins，whichtheyknowtobemortal？Howmanytradesandvocationshaveweadmittedandcountenancedamongstus，whoseveryessenceisvicious？Andhethat，confessinghimselftome，voluntarilytoldmethathehadallhislifetimeprofessedandpractisedareligion，inhisopiniondamnableandcontrarytothathehadinhisheart，onlytopreservehiscreditandthehonourofhisemployments，howcouldhiscouragesuffersoinfamousaconfession？Whatcanmensaytothedivinejusticeuponthissubject？
Theirrepentanceconsistinginavisibleandmanifestreparation，theylosethecolourofallegingitbothtoGodandman。Aretheysoimpudentastosueforremissionwithoutsatisfactionandwithoutpenitence？