首页 >出版文学> Saint’s Progress>第3章
  "Ifhedies,Dad——"shewhispered。
  "HewillhavediedfortheCountry,mylove,asmuchaseveroursoldiersdo。"
  "Iknow;butthat’snocomfort。I’vebeenwatchinghereallday;
  I’vebeenthinking;menwillbejustasbrutalafterwards——morebrutal。Theworldwillgoonthesame。"
  "Wemusthopenot。Shallwepray,Gracie?"
  Gratianshookherhead。
  "IfIcouldbelievethattheworld——ifIcouldbelieveanything!
  I’velostthepower,Dad;Idon’tevenbelieveinafuturelife。IfGeorgedies,weshallnevermeetagain。"
  Piersonstaredatherwithoutaword。
  Gratianwenton:"Thelasttimewetalked,IwasangrywithGeorgebecausehelaughedatmybelief;nowthatIreallywantbelief,I
  feelthathewasright。"
  Piersonsaidtremulously:
  "No,no,mydear;it’sonlythatyou’reoverwrought。GodinHismercywillgiveyoubackbelief。"
  "ThereisnoGod,Dad"
  "Mydarlingchild,whatareyousaying?"
  "NoGodwhocanhelpus;Ifeelit。IftherewereanyGodwhocouldtakepartinourlives,alteranythingwithoutourwill,kneworcaredwhatwedid——Hewouldn’tlettheworldgoonasitdoes。"
  "But,mydear,Hispurposesareinscrutable。WedarenotsayHeshouldnotdothisorthat,ortrytofathomtowhatendsHeisworking。"
  "ThenHe’snogoodtous。It’sthesameasifHedidn’texist。WhyshouldIprayforGeorge’slifetoOnewhoseendsarejustHisown?
  IknowGeorgeoughtn’ttodie。Ifthere’saGodwhocanhelp,itwillbeawickedshameifGeorgedies;ifthere’saGodwhocanhelp,it’sawickedshamewhenbabiesdie,andallthesemillionsofpoorboys。Iwouldratherthinkthere’snoGodthanahelplessorawickedGod——"
  Herfatherhadsuddenlythrownuphishandstohisears。Shemovedcloser,andputherarmroundhim。
  "Daddear,I’msorry。Ididn’tmeantohurtyou。
  Piersonpressedherfacedowntohisshoulder;andsaidinadullvoice:
  "Whatdoyouthinkwouldhavehappenedtome,Gracie,ifIhadlostbeliefwhenyourmotherdied?Ihaveneverlostbelief。PrayGodI
  nevershall!"
  Gratianmurmured:
  "GeorgewouldnotwishmetopretendIbelieve——hewouldwantmetobehonest。IfI’mnothonest,Ishan’tdeservethatheshouldlive。
  Idon’tbelieve,andIcan’tpray。"
  "Mydarling,you’reovertired。"
  "No,Dad。"Sheraisedherheadfromhisshoulderand,claspingherhandsroundherknees,lookedstraightbeforeher。"Wecanonlyhelpourselves;andIcanonlybearitifIrebel。"
  Piersonsatwithtremblinglips,feelingthatnothinghecouldsaywouldtouchherjustthen。Thesickman’sfacewashardlyvisiblenowinthetwilight,andGratianwentovertohisbed。Shestoodlookingdownathimalongtime。
  "Goandrest,Dad;thedoctor’scomingagainateleven。I’llcallyouifIwantanything。Ishallliedownalittle,besidehim。"
  Piersonkissedher,andwentout。Tolietherebesidehimwouldbethegreatestcomfortshecouldget。Hewenttothebarenarrowlittleroomhehadoccupiedeversincehiswifedied;and,takingoffhisboots,walkedupanddown,withafeelingofalmostcrushingloneliness。Bothhisdaughtersinsuchtrouble,andheofnousetothem!ItwasasifLifewerepushinghimutterlyaside!Hefeltconfused,helpless,bewildered。SurelyifGratianlovedGeorge,shehadnotleftGod’sside,whatevershemightsay。Then,consciousoftheprofoundheresyofthisthought,hestoodstillattheopenwindow。
  Earthlylove——heavenlylove;wasthereanyanalogybetweenthem?
  >FromtheSquareGardenstheindifferentwhisperoftheleavesanswered;andanewsvendoratthefarend,bawlinghisnightlytaleofmurder。
  3
  GeorgeLairdpassedthecrisisofhisillnessthatnight,andinthemorningwaspronouncedoutofdanger。Hehadasplendidconstitution,and——Scotsmanonhisfather’sside——afightingcharacter。Hecamebacktolifeveryweak,butavidofrecovery;andhisfirstwordswere:"I’vebeenhangingovertheedge,Gracie!"
  Averyhighcliff,andhisbodyhalfover,balancing;oneinch,themerestfractionofaninchmore,andoverhewouldhavegone。Deucedrumsensation!Butnotsohorribleasitwouldhavebeeninreallife。Withtheslipofthatlastinchhefelthewouldhavepassedatonceintooblivion,withoutthelonghorrorofafall。Sothiswaswhatitwasforallthepoorfellowshehadseenslipinthepasttwoyears!Mercifully,attheend,onewasnotaliveenoughtobeconsciousofwhatonewasleaving,notaliveenougheventocare。Ifhehadbeenabletotakeinthepresenceofhisyoungwife,abletorealisethathewaslookingatherface,touchingherforthelasttime——itwouldhavebeenhell;ifhehadbeenuptorealisingsunlight,moonlight,thesoundoftheworld’slifeoutside,thesoftnessofthebedhelayon——itwouldhavemeantthemostpoignantanguishofdefraudment。Lifewasararegoodthing,andtobesquashedoutofitwithyourpowersatfull,awretchedmistakeinNature’sarrangements,awretchedvillainyonthepartofMan——forhisowndeath,likeallthoseothermillionsofprematuredeaths,wouldhavebeenduetotheidiocyandbrutalityofmen!Hecouldsmilenow,withGratianlookingdownathim,buttheexperiencehadheapedfuelonafirewhichhadalwayssmoulderedinhisdoctor’ssoulagainstthathalfemancipatedbreedofapes,thehumanrace。
  Well,nowhewouldgetafewdaysofffromhisdeath—carnival!Andhelay,feastinghisreturningsensesonhiswife。Shemadeaprettynurse,andhispractisedeyejudgedheragoodone——firmandquiet。
  GeorgeLairdwasthirty。AttheopeningofthewarhewasinanEast—Endpractice,andhadvolunteeredatonceforservicewiththeArmy。Forthefirstninemonthshehadbeenrightupinthethickofit。Apoisonedarm;ratherthantheauthorities,hadsenthimhome。
  DuringthatleavehemarriedGratian。HehadknownthePiersonssometime;and,madeconsciousoftheinstabilityoflife,hadresolvedtomarryheratthefirstchancehegot。Forhisfather—in—lawhehadrespectandliking,evermixedwithwhatwasnotquitecontemptandnotquitepity。Theblendofauthoritywithhumility,clericwithdreamer,monkwithartist,mysticwithmanofaction,inPierson,excitedinhimaninterested,butoftenirritated,wonder。Hesawthingssodifferentlyhimself,andhadlittleofthehumorouscuriositywhichenjoyswhatisstrangesimplybecauseitisstrange。
  Theycouldnevertalktogetherwithoutsoonreachingapointwhenhewantedtosay:"Ifwe’renottotrustourreasonandoursensesforwhatthey’reworth,sir——willyoukindlytellmewhatwearetotrust?Howcanweexertthemtotheutmostinsomematters,andinotherssuddenlyturnourbacksonthem?"Once,inoneoftheirdiscussions,whichoftenborderedonacrimony,hehadexpoundedhimselfatlength。
  "Igrant,"hehadsaid,"thatthere’sagreatultimateMystery,thatweshallneverknowanythingforcertainabouttheoriginoflifeandtheprincipleoftheUniverse;butwhyshouldwesuddenlyshutupourenquiringapparatusanddenyalltheevidenceofourreason——say,aboutthestoryofChrist,orthequestionofafuturelife,orourmoralcode?Ifyouwantmetoenteratempleoflittlemysteries,leavingmyreasonandsensesbehind——asaMohammedanleaveshisshoes——itwon’tdotosaytomesimply:’Thereitis!Enter!’Youmustshowmethedoor;andyoucan’t!AndI’lltellyouwhy,sir。
  Becauseinyourbrainthere’salittletwistwhichisnotinmine,orthelackofalittletwistwhichisinmine。Nothingmorethanthatdividesusintothetwomainspeciesofmankind,oneofwhomworships,andoneofwhomdoesn’t。Oh,yes!Iknow;youwon’tadmitthat,becauseitmakesyourreligionsnaturalinsteadofwhatyoucallsupernatural。ButIassureyouthere’snothingmoretoit。
  Youreyeslookuportheylookdown——theyneverlookstraightbeforethem。Well,minedojusttheopposite。"
  ThatdayPiersonhadbeenfeelingverytired,andthoughtomeetthisattackwasvital,hehadbeenunabletomeetit。Hisbrainhadstammered。Hehadturnedalittleaway,leaninghischeekonhishand,asiftocoverthatmomentarybreakinhisdefences。Somedayslaterhehadsaid:
  "Iamablenowtoansweryourquestions,George。IthinkIcanmakeyouunderstand。"
  Lairdhadanswered:"Allright,sir;goahead。"
  "Youbeginbyassumingthatthehumanreasonisthefinaltestofallthings。Whatrighthaveyoutoassumethat?Supposeyouwereanant。Youwouldtakeyourant’sreasonasthefinaltest,wouldn’tyou?Wouldthatbethetruth?"Andasmilehadfixeditselfonhislipsabovehislittlegravebeard。
  GeorgeLairdalsohadsmiled。
  "Thatseemsagoodpoint,sir,"hesaid,"untilyourecognisethatI
  don’ttake,thehumanreasonasfinaltestinanyabsolutesense。I
  onlysayit’sthehighesttestwecanapply;andthat,behindthattestallisquitedarkandunknowable。"
  "Revelation,then,meansnothingtoyou?"
  "Nothing,sir。"
  "Idon’tthinkwecanusefullygoon,George。"
  "Idon’tthinkwecan,sir。Intalkingwithyou,Ialwaysfeellikefightingamanwithonehandtiedbehindhisback。"
  "AndI,perhaps,feelthatIamarguingwithonewhowasblindfrombirth。"
  Forallthat,theyhadoftenarguedsince;butneverwithoutthosepeculiarsmilescomingontheirfaces。Still,theyrespectedeachother,andPiersonhadnotopposedhisdaughter’smarriagetothisheretic,whomheknewtobeanhonestandtrustworthyman。IthadtakenplacebeforeLaird’sarmwaswell,andthetwohadsnatchedamonth’shoneymoonbeforehewentbacktoFrance,andshetoherhospitalinManchester。Sincethen,justoneFebruaryfortnightbytheseahadbeenalltheirtimetogether……
  Intheafternoonhehadaskedforbeeftea,and,havingdrunkacup,said:
  "I’vegotsomethingtotellyourfather。"
  Butwarnedbythepallorofhissmilinglips,Gratiananswered:
  "Tellmefirst,George。"
  "Ourlasttalk,Gracie;well——there’snothing——ontheotherside。I
  lookedover;it’sasblackasyourhat。"
  Gratianshivered。
  "Iknow。Whileyouwerelyingherelastnight,Itoldfather。"
  Hesqueezedherhand,andsaid:"Ialsowanttotellhim。"
  "Dadwillsaythemotiveforlifeisgone。"
  "Isayitleapsoutallthemore,Gracie。Whatamesswemakeofit——weangel—apes!Whenshallwebemen,Iwonder?YouandI,Gracie,willfightforadecentlifeforeverybody。Nohands—uppingaboutthat!Benddown!It’sgoodtotouchyouagain;everything’sgood。
  I’mgoingtohaveasleep……"
  Afterthereliefofthedoctor’sreportintheearlymorningPiersonhadgonethroughahardstruggle。WhatshouldhewiretoNoel?Helongedtogetherbackhome,awayfromtemptationtotheburningindiscretionofthismarriage。ButoughthetosuppressreferencetoGeorge’sprogress?Wouldthatbehonest?Atlasthesentthistelegram:"Georgeoutofdangerbutveryweak。Comeup。"
  Bytheafternoonpost,however,hereceivedaletterfromThirza:
  "IhavehadtwolongtalkswithNoelandCyril。Itisimpossibletobudgethem。AndIreallythink,dearEdward,thatitwillbeamistaketoopposeitrigidly。Hemaynotgooutassoonaswethink。
  Howwoulditbetoconsenttotheirhavingbannspublished?——thatwouldmeananotherthreeweeksanyway,andinabsencefromeachothertheymightbeinfluencedtoputitoff。I’mafraidthisistheonlychance,forifyousimplyforbidit,Ifeeltheywillrunoffandgetmarriedsomewhereataregistrar’s。"
  PiersontookthisletteroutwithhimintotheSquareGarden,forpainfulcogitation。Nomancanholdapositionofspiritualauthorityforlongyearswithoutdevelopingthehabitofjudgment。
  HejudgedNoel’sconducttobeheadlongandundisciplined,andtheveinofstubbornnessinhischaracterfortifiedthefatherandthepriestwithinhim。Thirzadisappointedhim;shedidnotseemtoseetheirretrievablegravityofthishastymarriage。Sheseemedtolookonitassomethingmuchlighterthanitwas,toconsiderthatitmightbelefttoChance,andthatifChanceturnedoutunfavourable,therewouldstillbeawayout。Tohimtherewouldbenowayout。
  Helookedupatthesky,asifforinspiration。Itwassuchabeautifulday,andsobittertohurthischild,evenforhergood!
  Whatwouldhermotherhaveadvised?SurelyAgneshadfeltatleastasdeeplyashimselftheuttersolemnityofmarriage!And,sittingthereinthesunlight,hepainfullyhardenedhisheart。Hemustdowhathethoughtright,nomatterwhattheconsequences。Sohewentinandwrotethathecouldnotagree,andwishedNoeltocomebackhomeatonce。
  V
  1
  Butonthesameafternoon,justaboutthathour,Noelwassittingontheriver—bankwithherarmsfoldedtightacrossherchest,andbyhersideCyrilMorland,withdespairinhisface,wastwistingatelegram"Rejointonight。Regimentleavesto—morrow。"
  Whatconsolationthatamillionsuchtelegramshadbeenreadandsorrowedovertheselasttwoyears!Whatcomfortthatthesunwasdailyblotteddimforhundredsofbrighteyes;thejoyoflifepouredoutandsoppedupbythesandsofdesolation!
  "Howlonghavewegot,Cyril?"
  "I’veengagedacarfromtheInn,soIneedn’tleavetillmidnight。
  I’vepackedalready,tohavemoretime。"
  "Let’shaveittoourselves,then。Let’sgooffsomewhere。I’vegotsomechocolate。"
  Morlandansweredmiserably:
  "Icansendthecaruphereformythings,andhaveitpickmeupattheInn,ifyou’llsaygoodbyetothemforme,afterwards。We’llwalkdowntheline,thenweshan’tmeetanyone。"
  Andinthebrightsunlighttheywalkedhandinhandoneachsideofashiningrail。AboutsixtheyreachedtheAbbey。
  "Let’sgetaboat,"saidNoel。"Wecancomebackherewhenit’smoonlight。Iknowawayofgettingin,afterthegate’sshut。"
  Theyhiredaboat,rowedovertothefarbank,andsatonthesternseat,sidebysideunderthetreeswherethewaterwasstaineddeepgreenbythehighwoods。Iftheytalked,itwasbutawordoflovenowandthen,ortodraweachother’sattentiontoafish,abird,adragon—fly。Whatusemakingplans——forloversthechieftheme?
  Longingparalysedtheirbrains。Theycoulddonothingbutpressclosetoeachother,theirhandsenlaced,theirlipsmeetingnowandthen。OnNoel’sfacewasastrangefixedstillness,asifshewerewaiting——expecting!Theyatetheirchocolates。Thesunset,dewbegantofall;theriverchanged,andgrewwhiter;theskypaledtothecolourofanamethyst;shadowslengthened,dissolvedslowly。Itwaspastninealready;awater—ratcameout,awhiteowlflewovertheriver,towardstheAbbey。Themoonhadcomeup,butshednolightasyet。Theysawnobeautyinallthis——tooyoung,toopassionate,toounhappy。
  Noelsaid:"Whenshe’soverthosetrees,Cyril,let’sgo。It’llbehalfdark。"
  Theywaited,watchingthemoon,whichcreptwithinfiniteslownessupandup,brighteningeversolittleeveryminute。
  "Now!"saidNoel。AndMorlandrowedacross。
  Theylefttheboat,andsheledthewaypastanemptycottage,toashedwitharoofslopinguptotheAbbey’slowouterwall。
  "Wecangetoverhere,"shewhispered。
  Theyclamberedup,andover,toapieceofgrassycourtyard,andpassedontoaninnercourt,undertheblackshadowofthehighwalls。
  "What’sthetime?"saidNoel。
  "Half—pastten。"
  "Already!Let’ssithereinthedark,andwatchforthemoon。"
  Theysatdownclosetogether。Noel’sfacestillhadonitthatstrangelookofwaiting;andMorlandsatobedient,withhishandonherheart,andhisownheartbeatingalmosttosuffocation。Theysat,stillasmice,andthemooncreptup。Itlaidafirstvaguegreynessonthehighwall,whichspreadslowlydown,andbrightenedtillthelichenandthegrassesuptherewerevisible;thencrepton,silveringthedarkabovetheirheads。Noelpulledhissleeve,andwhispered:"See!"Therecamethewhiteowl,softasasnowflake,driftingacrossinthatunearthlylight,asifflyingtothemoon。
  Andjustthenthetopofthemoonitselflookedoverthewall,ashavingofsilverygold。Itgrew,becameabrightspreadfan,thenbalancedthere,fullandround,thecolourofpalehoney。
  "Ours!"Noelwhispered。
  2
  >FromthesideoftheroadNoellistenedtillthesoundofthecarwaslostinthefoldsofthevalley。Shedidnotcry,butpassedherhandsoverherface,andbegantowalkhome,keepingtotheshadowofthetrees。Howmanyyearshadbeenaddedtoherageinthosesixhourssincethetelegramcame!Severaltimesinthatmileandahalfshesteppedintoapatchofbrightermoonlight,totakeoutandkissalittlephotograph,thenslipitbacknextherheart,heedlessthatsowarmaplacemustdestroyanyeffigy。Shefeltnotthefaintestcompunctionfortherecklessnessofherlove——itwasheronlycomfortagainstthecrushinglonelinessofthenight。Itkeptherup,madeherwalkonwithasortofpride,asifshehadgotthebestofFate。
  Hewashersforevernow,inspiteofanythingthatcouldbedone。
  Shedidnoteventhinkwhatshewouldsaywhenshegotin。Shecametotheavenue,andpassedupitstillinasortofdream。Herunclewasstandingbeforetheporch;shecouldhearhismutterings。Shemovedoutoftheshadowofthetrees,wentstraightuptohim,and,lookinginhisperturbedface,saidcalmly:
  "Cyrilaskedmetosaygood—byetoyouall,Uncle。Goodnight!"
  "But,Isay,Nollielookhereyou!"
  Shehadpassedon。Shewentuptoherroom。There,bythedoor,herauntwasstanding,andwouldhavekissedher。Shedrewback:
  "No,Auntie。Notto—night!"And,slippingby,shelockedherdoor。
  BobandThirzaPierson,meetingintheirownroom,lookedateachotheraskance。Reliefattheirniece’ssafereturnwasconfusedbyotheremotions。BobPiersonexpressedhisfirst:
  "Phew!Iwasbeginningtothinkweshouldwhavetodragtheriver。
  Whatgirlsarecomingto!"
  "It’sthewar,Bob。"
  "Ididn’tlikeherface,oldgirl。Idon’tknowwhatitwas,butI
  didn’tlikeherface。"
  NeitherdidThirza,butshewouldnotadmitit,andencourageBobtotakeittoheart。Hetookthingssohardly,andwithsuchanoise!
  Sheonlysaid:"Pooryoungthings!IsupposeitwillbearelieftoEdward!"
  "IloveNollie!"saidBobPiersonsuddenly。"She’sanaffectionatecreature。D—nit,I’msorryaboutthis。It’snotsobadforyoungMorland;he’sgottheexcitement——thoughIshouldn’tliketobeleavingNollie,ifIwereyoungagain。ThankGod,neitherofourboysisengaged。ByGeorge!whenIthinkofthemoutthere,andmyselfhere,Ifeelasifthetopofmyheadwouldcomeoff。Andthosepoliticianchapsspoutingawayineverycountry——howtheycanhavethecheek!"
  Thirzalookedathimanxiously。
  "Andnodinner!"hesaidsuddenly。"Whatd’youthinkthey’vebeendoingwiththemselves?"
  "Holdingeachother’shands,poordears!D’youknowwhattimeitis,Bob?Nearlyoneo’clock。"
  "Well,allIcansayis,I’vehadawretchedevening。Gettobed,oldgirl。You’llbefitfornothing。"
  Hewassoonasleep,butThirzalayawake,notexactlyworrying,forthatwasnothernature,butseeingNoel’sface,pale,languid,passionate,possessedbymemory。
  VI
  1
  Noelreachedherfather’shousenextdaylateintheafternoon。
  Therewasaletterinthehallforher。Shetoreitopen,andread:
  "MYDARLINGLOVE,"Igotbackallright,andampostingthisatoncetotellyouweshallpassthroughLondon,andgofromCharingCross,Iexpectaboutnineo’clockto—night。Ishalllookoutforyou,there,incaseyouareupintime。EveryminuteIthinkofyou,andoflastnight。Oh!
  Noel!
  "Yourdevotedlover,"C。"
  Shelookedatthewrist—watchwhich,likeeveryotherlittlepatriot,shepossessed。Pastseven!Ifshewaited,Gratianorherfatherwouldseizeonher。
  "Takemythingsup,Dinah。I’vegotaheadachefromtravelling;I’mgoingtowalkitoff。PerhapsIshan’tbeintillpastnineorso。
  Givemylovetothemall。"
  "Oh,MissNoel,youcan’t,——"
  ButNoelwasgone。ShewalkedtowardsCharingCross;and,tokilltime,wentintoarestaurantandhadthatsimplerepast,coffeeandabun,whichthoseinlovewouldalwaystakeifSocietydidnotforciblyfeedthemonotherthings。Foodwasridiculoustoher。Shesatthereinthemidstofaperfecthiveofcreatureseatinghideously。Theplacewasshapedlikeamodernprison,havingtiersofgalleryroundanopenspace,andintheairwasthesmellofviandsandtheclatterofplatesandthemusicofaband。Meninkhakieverywhere,andNoelglancedfromformtoformtoseeifbychanceonemightbethatwhichrepresented,forher,LifeandtheBritishArmy。Athalf—pasteightshewentoutandmadeherway:
  throughthecrowd,stillmechanicallysearching"khaki"forwhatshewanted;anditwasperhapsfortunatethattherewasaboutherfaceandwalksomethingwhichtouchedpeople。Atthestationshewentuptoanoldporter,and,puttingashillingintohisastonishedhand,askedhimtofindoutforherwhenceMorland’sregimentwouldstart。
  Hecamebackpresently,andsaid:
  "Comewithme,miss。"
  Noelwent。Hewasratherlame,hadgreywhiskers,andaghostlythinresemblancetoheruncleBob,whichperhapshadbeenthereasonwhyshehadchosenhim。64
  "Brothergoin’out,miss?"
  Noelnodded。
  "Ah!It’sacroolwar。Ishan’tbesorrywhenit’sover。Goin’outandcomin’in,weseesomesadsights’ere。Wonderfulspiritthey’vegot,too。IneverlookattheclocknowbutwhatIthink:’Thereyougo,slow—coach!I’dliketosetyouontothedaytheboyscomeback!’WhenIputsabagin:’Anotherfor’ell"Ithinks。Andsoitis,miss,fromallIcan’ear。I’vegotasonouttheremeself。
  It’s’erethey’llcomealong。Youstandquietandkeepalookout,andyou’llgetafewminuteswithhimwhenhe’sdonewith’ismen。I
  wouldn’tmove,ifIwereyou;he’llcometoyou,allright——can’tmissyou,there。"And,lookingatherface,hethought:’Astonishin’
  whataloto’brothersgo。Wotoh!Poorlittlemissy!Alittlelady,too。Wonderfulcollectedsheis。It’s’ard!’Andtryingtofindsomethingconsolingtosay,hemumbledout:"Youcouldn’tbeinabetterplaceforseen’imoff。Goodnight,miss;anythingelseI
  candoforyou?"
  "No,thankyou;you’reverykind。"
  Helookedbackonceortwiceatherblue—cladfigurestandingverystill。Hehadleftheragainstalittleoasisofpiled—upemptymilk—cans,fardowntheplatformwhereafewciviliansinsimilarcasewerescattered。Thetrainwaywasemptyasyet。Inthegreyimmensityofthestationandtheturmoilofitsnoise,shefeltneitherlonelynorconsciousofotherswaiting;tooabsorbedintheonethoughtofseeinghimandtouchinghimagain。Theemptytrainbeganbackingin,stopped,andtelescopedwithaseriesoflittleclatteringbangs,backedonagain,andsubsidedtorest。Noelturnedhereyestowardsthestationarchways。Alreadyshefelttremulous,asthoughtheregimentweresendingbeforeitthevibrationofitsmarch。
  Shehadnotasyetseenatroop—trainstart,andvagueimagesofbravearray,ofaflagfluttering,andthestirofdrums,besether。
  Suddenlyshesawabrownswirlingmassdownthereattheveryedge,outofwhichathinbrowntrickleemergedtowardsher;nosoundofmusic,nowavedflag。Shehadalongingtorushdowntothebarrier,butrememberingthewordsoftheporter,stayedwhereshewas,withherhandstightlysqueezedtogether。Thetricklebecameastream,aflood,theheadofwhichbegantoreachher。Withaturbulenceofvoices,sunburntmen,burdeneduptothenose,passed,withriflesjuttingatallangles;shestrainedhereyes,staringintothatstreamasonemightintoawalkingwood,toisolateasingletree。
  Herheadreeledwiththestrainofit,andtheefforttocatchhisvoiceamongthehubbubofallthosecheery,common,happy—go—luckysounds。Somewhosawhercluckedtheirtongues,somewentbysilent,othersseemedtoscanherasthoughshemightbewhattheywerelookingfor。Andeverthestreamandthehubbubmeltedintothetrain,andyetcamepouringon。Andstillshewaitedmotionless,withanawfulfear。Howcouldheeverfindher,orshehim?Thenshesawthatothersofthosewaitinghadfoundtheirmen。Andthelongingtorushupanddowntheplatformalmostovercameher;butstillshewaited。Andsuddenlyshesawhimwithtwootherofficerboys,closetothecarriages,comingslowlydowntowardsher。Shestoodwithhereyesfixedonhisface;theypassed,andshenearlycriedout。Thenheturned,brokeawayfromtheothertwo,andcamestraighttoher。Hehadseenherbeforeshehadseenhim。Hewasveryflushed,hadalittlefixedfrownbetweenhisblueeyesandasetjaw。Theystoodlookingateachother,theirhandshardgripped;
  alltheemotionoflastnightwellingupwithinthem,sothattospeakwouldhavebeentobreakdown。Themilk—cansformedakindofshelter,andtheystoodsoclosetogetherthatnonecouldseetheirfaces。Noelwasthefirsttomasterherpowerofspeech;herwordscameout,daintyasever,throughtremblinglips:
  "Writetomeasmuchaseveryoucan,Cyril。I’mgoingtobeanurseatonce。Andthefirstleaveyouget,Ishallcometoyou——don’tforget。"
  "Forget!Movealittleback,darling;theycan’tseeushere。Kissme!"Shemovedback,thrustherfaceforwardsothatheneednotstoop,andputherlipsuptohis。Then,feelingthatshemightswoonandfalloveramongthecans,shewithdrewhermouth,leavingherforeheadagainsthislips。Hemurmured:
  "Wasitallrightwhenyougotinlastnight?"
  "Yes;Isaidgood—byeforyou。"
  "Oh!Noel——I’vebeenafraid——Ioughtn’t——Ioughtn’t——"
  "Yes,yes;nothingcantakeyoufrommenow。"
  "Youhavegotpluck。Morethan!"
  Alongwhistlesounded。Morlandgraspedherhandsconvulsively:
  "Good—bye,mylittlewife!Don’tfret。Goodbye!Imustgo。Godblessyou,Noel!"
  "Iloveyou。"
  Theylookedateachother,justanothermoment,thenshetookherhandsfromhisandstoodbackintheshadowofthemilk—cans,rigid,followinghimwithhereyestillhewaslostinthetrain。