首页 >出版文学> Saint’s Progress>第12章
  Itwassomuchmoreregularandnaturallikethat,and"her"babyinvestedwithhisproperdignity。Shewentdownstairstogeta"cupo’tea,"thinking:’Apicturetheymake——thattheydo,blesshislittleheart;andhisprettylittlemother——nomorethanachild,allsaidanddone。’
  Noelhadbeenstandingtheresomeminutesinthefailinglight,absorbedinthefaceofthesleepingbaby,when,raisinghereyes,shesawinamirrortherefectionofherfather’sdarkfigurebythedoor。Shecouldhearhimbreathingasiftheascentofthestairshadtiredhim;andmovingtotheheadofthecot,sherestedherhandonit,andturnedherfacetowardshim。Hecameupandstoodbesideher,lookingsilentlydownatthebaby。ShesawhimmakethesignoftheCrossaboveit,andthemovementofhislipsinprayer。Loveforherfather,andrebellionagainstthisintercessionforherperfectbabyfoughtsohardinthegirl’sheartthatshefeltsuffocated,andgladofthedark,sothathecouldnotseehereyes。
  Thenhetookherhandandputittohislips,butstillwithoutaword;andforthelifeofhershecouldnotspeakeither。Insilence,hekissedherforehead;andtheremountedinNoelasuddenpassionoflongingtoshowhimherprideandloveforherbaby。Sheputherfingerdownandtouchedoneofhishands。Thetinysleepingfingersuncurledand,likesomelittleseaanemone,clutchedroundit。Sheheardherfatherdrawhisbreathin;sawhimturnawayquickly,silently,andgoout。Andshestayed,hardlybreathing,withthehandofherbabysqueezingherfinger。
  II
  1
  WhenEdwardPierson,afraidofhisownemotion,leftthetwilitnursery,heslippedintohisownroom,andfellonhiskneesbesidehisbed,absorbedinthevisionhehadseen。ThatyoungfigureinMadonnablue,withthehaloofbrighthair;thesleepingbabeinthefinedusk;thesilence,theadorationinthatwhiteroom!Hesaw,too;avisionofthepast,whenNoelherselfhadbeenthesleepingbabewithinhermother’sarm,andhehadstoodbesidethem,wonderingandgivingpraise。Itpassedwithitsother—worldlinessandthefineholinesswhichbelongstobeauty,passedandleftthetormentingrealismoflife。Ah!tolivewithonlytheinnermeaning,spiritualandbeautifed,inararewondermentsuchashehadexperiencedjustnow!
  Hisalarumclock,whilehekneltinhisnarrow,monkishlittleroom——
  tickedtheeveninghourawayintodarkness。Andstillheknelt,dreadingtocomebackintoitall,tofacetheworld’seyes,andthesoundoftheworld’stongue,andthetouchoftherough,thegross,theunseemly。Howcouldheguardhischild?Howpreservethatvisioninherlife,inherspirit,abouttoentersuchcold,roughwaters?Butthegongsounded;hegotup,andwentdownstairs。
  Butthisfirstfamilymoment,whichallhaddreaded,wasrelieved,asdreadedmomentssooftenare,bytheunexpectedappearanceoftheBelgianpainter。Hehadageneralinvitation,ofwhichheoftenavailedhimself;buthewassosilent,andhisthin,beardlessface,whichseemedalleyesandbrow,somournful,thatallthreefeltinthepresenceofasorrowdeepereventhantheirownfamilygrief。
  DuringthemealhegazedsilentlyatNoel。Oncehesaid:"Youwillletmepaintyounow,mademoiselle,Ihope?"andhisfacebrightenedalittlewhenshenodded。Therewasnevermuchtalkwhenhecame,foranydepthofdiscussion,evenofart,broughtoutatoncetoowideadifference。AndPiersoncouldneveravoidavagueirritationwithonewhoclearlyhadspirituality,butofasortwhichhecouldnotunderstand。Afterdinnerheexcusedhimself,andwentofftohisstudy。Monsieurwouldbehappieralonewiththetwogirls!Gratian,too,gotup。ShehadrememberedNoel’swords:"Imindhimlessthananybody。"ItwasachanceforNollietobreaktheice。
  2
  "Ihavenotseenyouforalongtime,mademoiselle,"saidthepainter,whentheywerealone。
  Noelwassittinginfrontoftheemptydrawing—roomhearth,withherarmsstretchedoutasiftherehadbeenafirethere。
  "I’vebeenaway。Howareyougoingtopaintme,monsieur?"
  "Inthatdress,mademoiselle;Justasyouarenow,warmingyourselfatthefireoflife。"
  "Butitisn’tthere。"
  "Yes,firessoongoout。Mademoiselle,willyoucomeandseemywife?Sheisill。"
  "Now?"askedNoel,startled。
  "Yes,now。Sheisreallyill,andIhavenoonethere。ThatiswhatIcametoaskofyoursister;but——nowyouarehere,it’sevenbetter。Shelikesyou。"
  Noelgotup。"Waitoneminute!"shesaid,andranupstairs。Herbabywasasleep,andtheoldnursedozing。Puttingonacloakandcapofgreyrabbit’sfur,sherandownagaintothehallwherethepainterwaswaiting;andtheywentouttogether。
  "IdonotknowifIamtoblame,"hesaid,"mywifehasbeennorealwifetomesincesheknewIhadamistressandwasnorealhusbandtoher。"
  Noelstaredroundathisfacelightedbyaqueer,smile。
  "Yes,"hewenton,"fromthathascomehertragedy。ButsheshouldhaveknownbeforeImarriedher。Nothingwasconcealed。BonDieu!
  sheshouldhaveknown!Whycannotawomanseethingsastheyare?
  Mymistress,mademoiselle,isnotathingofflesh。Itismyart。
  Ithasalwaysbeenfirstwithme,andalwayswill。Shehasneveracceptedthat,sheisincapableofacceptingit。Iamsorryforher。
  Butwhatwouldyou?Iwasafooltomarryher。Cheremademoiselle,notroublesareanythingbesidethetroublewhichgoesondayandnight,mealaftermeal,year,afteryear,betweentwopeoplewhoshouldneverhavemarried,becauseonelovestoomuchandrequiresall,andtheotherlovesnotatall——no,notatall,now,itislongdead——andcangivebutlittle。"
  "Can’tyouseparate?"askedNoel,wondering。
  "Itishardtoseparatefromonewhocravesforyouasshecravesherdrugs——yes,shetakesdrugsnow,mademoiselle。Itisimpossibleforonewhohasanycompassioninhissoul。Besides,whatwouldshedo?
  Welivefromhandtomouth,inastrangeland。Shehasnofriendshere,notone。HowcouldIleaveherwhilethiswarlasts?Aswellcouldtwopersonsonadesertislandseparate。Sheiskillingherself,too,withthesedrugs,andIcannotstopher。"
  "Poormadame!"murmuredNoel。"Poormonsieur!"
  Thepainterdrewhishandacrosshiseyes。
  "Icannotchangemynature,"hesaidinastifledvoice,"norshehers。Sowegoon。Butlifewillstopsuddenlysomedayforoneofus。Afterall,itismuchworseforherthanforme。Enter,mademoiselle。DonottellherIamgoingtopaintyou;shelikesyou,becauseyourefusedtoletme。"
  Noelwentupthestairs,shuddering;shehadbeenthereoncebefore,andrememberedthatsicklyscentofdrugs。Onthethirdfloortheyenteredasmallsitting—roomwhosewallswerecoveredwithpaintingsanddrawings;fromonecorneratriangularstackofcanvasesjuttedout。Therewaslittlefurnituresaveanoldredsofa,andonthiswasseatedastoutishmaninthegarbofaBelgiansoldier,withhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisbeardedcheeksrestingonhisdoubledfists。Besidehimonthesofa,nursingadoll,wasalittlegirl,wholookedupatNoel。Shehadamoststrange,attractive,palelittleface,withpointedchinandlargeeyes,whichnevermovedfromthisapparitioningreyrabbits’skins。
  "Ah,Barra!Youhere!"saidthepainter:
  "Mademoiselle,thisisMonsieurBarra,afriendofoursfromthefront;andthisisourlandlady’slittlegirl。Alittlerefugee,too,aren’tyou,Chica?"
  Thechildgavehimasuddenbrilliantsmileandresumedhergravescrutinyofthevisitor。Thesoldier,whohadrisenheavily,offeredNoeloneofhispodgyhands,withasadandheavygiggle。
  "Sitdown,mademoiselle,"saidLavendie,placingachairforher:"I
  willbringmywifein,"andhewentoutthroughsomedoubledoors。
  Noelsatdown。Thesoldierhadresumedhisoldattitude,andthelittlegirlhernursingofthedoll,thoughherbigeyesstillwatchedthevisitor。Overcomebystrangeness,Noelmadenoattempttotalk。Andpresentlythroughthedoubledoorsthepainterandhiswifecamein。Shewasathinwomaninaredwrapper,withhollowcheeks,highcheek—bones,andhungryeyes;herdarkhairhungloose,andonehandplayedrestlesslywithafoldofhergown。ShetookNoel’shand;andherupliftedeyesseemedtodigintothegirl’sface,toletgosuddenly,andflutter。
  "Howdoyoudo?"shesaidinEnglish。"SoPierrebroughtyou,toseemeagain。Irememberyousowell。Youwouldnotlethimpaintyou。Ah!quec’estdrole!Youaresopretty,too。Hein,MonsieurBarra,isnotmademoisellepretty?"
  Thesoldiergavehisheavygiggle,andresumedhisscrutinyofthefloor。
  "Henriette,"saidLavendie,"sitdownbesideChica——youmustnotstand。Sitdown,mademoiselle,Ibeg。"
  "I’msosorryyou’renotwell,"saidNoel,andsatdownagain。
  Thepainterstoodleaningagainstthewall,andhiswifelookedupathistall,thinfigure,witheyeswhichhadinthemanger,andasortofcunning。
  "Agreatpainter,myhusband,ishenot?"shesaidtoNoel。"Youwouldnotimaginewhatthatmancando。Andhowhepaints——alldaylong;andallnightinhishead。Andsoyouwouldnotlethimpaintyou,afterall?"
  Lavendiesaidimpatiently:"Voyons,Henriette,causezd’autrechose。"
  Hiswifepluckednervouslyatafoldinherredgown,andgavehimthelookofadogthathasbeenrebuked。
  "Iamaprisonerhere,mademoiselle,Ineverleavethehouse。HereI
  livedayafterday——myhusbandisalwayspainting。Whowouldgooutaloneunderthisgreyskyofyours,andthehatredsofthewarineveryface?Iprefertokeepmyroom。Myhusbandgoespainting;
  everyfaceheseesinterestshim,exceptthatwhichheseeseveryday。ButIamaprisoner。MonsieurBarraisourfirstvisitorforalongtime。"
  Thesoldierraisedhisfacefromhisfists。"Prisonnier,madame!
  Whatwouldyousayifyouwereoutthere?"Andhegavehisthickgiggle。"Wearetheprisoners,weothers。Whatwouldyousaytoimprisonmentbyexplosiondayandnight;neveraminutefree。Bom!
  Bom!Bom!Ah!lestranchees!It’snotsofreeasallthat,there。"
  "Everyonehashisownprison,"saidLavendiebitterly。
  "Mademoiselleeven,hasherprison——andlittleChica,andherdoll。
  Everyonehashisprison,Barra。MonsieurBarraisalsoapainter,mademoiselle。"
  "Moi!"saidBarra,liftinghisheavyhairyhand。"Ipaintpuddles,star—bombs,horses’ribs——Ipaintholesandholesandholes,wireandwireandwire,andwater——longwhiteuglywater。Ipaintsplinters,andmen’ssoulsnaked,andmen’sbodiesdead,andnightmare——
  nightmare——alldayandallnight——Ipainttheminmyhead。"Hesuddenlyceasedspeakingandrelapsedintocontemplationofthecarpet,withhisbeardedcheeksrestingonhisfists。"Andtheirsoulsaswhiteassnow,lescamarades,"headdedsuddenlyandloudly,"millionsofBelgians,English,French,eventheBoches,withwhitesouls。Ipaintthosesouls!"
  AlittleshiverranthroughNoel,andshelookedappealinglyatLavendie。
  "Barra,"hesaid,asifthesoldierwerenotthere,"isagreatpainter,buttheFronthasturnedhisheadalittle。Whathesaysistrue,though。Thereisnohatredoutthere。Itisherethatweareprisonersofhatred,mademoiselle;avoidhatreds——theyarepoison!"
  Hiswifeputoutherhandandtouchedthechild’sshoulder。
  "Whyshouldwenothate?"shesaid。"WhokilledChica’sfather,andblewherhometo—rags?WhothrewheroutintothishorribleEngland—
  —pardon,mademoiselle,butitishorrible。Ah!lesBoches!Ifmyhatredcoulddestroythemtherewouldnotbeoneleft。Evenmyhusbandwasnotsomadabouthispaintingwhenwelivedathome。Buthere——!"Hereyesdartedathisfaceagain,andthensankasifrebuked。Noelsawthepainter’slipsmove。Thesickwoman’swholefigurewrithed。
  "Itismania,yourpainting!"ShelookedatNoelwithasmile。
  "Willyouhavesometea,mademoiselle?MonsieurBarra,sometea?"
  Thesoldiersaidthickly:"No,madame;inthetrencheswehaveteaenough。Itconsolesus。Butwhenwegetaway——giveuswine,lebonvin;lebonpetitvin!"
  "Getsomewine,Pierre!"
  Noelsawfromthepainter’sfacethattherewasnowine,andperhapsnomoneytogetany;buthewentquicklyout。Sheroseandsaid:
  "Imustbegoing,madame。"
  MadameLavendieleanedforwardandclutchedherwrist。"Waitalittle,mademoiselle。Weshallhavesomewine,andPierreshalltakeyoubackpresently。Youcannotgohomealone——youaretoopretty。
  Isshenot,MonsieurBarra?"
  Thesoldierlookedup:"Whatwouldyousay,"hesaid,"tobottlesofwineburstingintheair,burstingredandburstingwhite,alldaylong,allnightlong?Greatsteelbottles,largeasChica:bitsofbottles,carryingoffmen’sheads?Bsum,garra—a—a,andahousecomesdown,andlittlebitsofpeopleeversosmall,eversosmall,tinybitsintheairandallovertheground。Greatsoulsoutthere,madame。ButIwilltellyouasecret,"andagainhegavehisheavygiggle,"allalittle,littlemad;nothingtospeakof——justalittlebitmad;likeawatch,youknow,thatyoucanwindforever。Thatisthediscoveryofthiswar,mademoiselle,"hesaid,addressingNoelforthefirsttime,"youcannotgainagreatsoultillyouarealittlemad。"Andloweringhispiggygreyeyesatonce,heresumedhisformerattitude。"ItisthatmadnessIshallpaintsomeday,"heannouncedtothecarpet;"lurkinginonetinycornerofeachsoulofallthosemillions,asitcreeps,asitpeeps,eversosudden,eversolittlewhenweallthinkithasbeenputtobed,here——there,now——then,whenyouleastthink;inandoutlikeamousewithbrighteyes。Millionsofmenwithwhitesouls,allalittlemad。Agreatsubject,Ithink,"headdedheavily。InvoluntarilyNoelputherhandtoherheart,whichwasbeatingfast。Shefeltquitesick。
  "HowlonghaveyoubeenattheFront,monsieur?"
  "Twoyears,mademoiselle。Timetogohomeandpaint,isitnot?Butart——!"heshruggedhisheavyroundshoulders,hiswholebear—likebody。"Alittlemad,"hemutteredoncemore。"Iwilltellyouastory。OnceinwinterafterIhadrestedafortnight,Igobacktothetrenchesatnight,andIwantsomeearthtofillupaholeinthegroundwhereIwassleeping;whenonehassleptinabedonebecomesparticular。Well,Iscratchitfrommyparapet,andIcometosomethingfunny。Istrikemybriquet,andthereisaBoche’sfaceallfrozenandearthyanddeadandgreeny—whiteintheflamefrommybriquet。"
  "Oh,no!"
  "Oh!butyes,mademoiselle;trueasIsithere。Veryusefulintheparapet——deadBoche。Onceamanlikeme。ButinthemorningIcouldnotstandhim;wedughimoutandburiedhim,andfilledtheholeupwithotherthings。ButthereIstoodinthenight,andmyfaceasclosetohisasthis"——andheheldhisthickhandafootbeforehisface。"Wetalkedofourhomes;hehadasoul,thatman。Ilmedisaitdescboses,howhehadsuffered;andI,too,toldhimmysufferings。DearGod,weknowall;weshallneverknowmorethanweknowoutthere,weothers,forwearemad——nothingtospeakof,butjustalittle,littlemad。Whenyouseeus,mademoiselle,walkingthestreets,rememberthat。"Andhedroppedhisfaceontohisfistsagain。
  Asilencehadfallenintheroom—veryqueerandcomplete。Thelittlegirlnursedherdoll,thesoldiergazedatthefloor,thewoman’smouthmovedstealthily,andinNoelthethoughtrushedcontinuallytothevergeofaction:’Couldn’tIgetupandrundownstairs?’Butshesaton,hypnotisedbythatsilence,tillLavendiereappearedwithabottleandfourglasses。
  "Todrinkourhealth,andwishusluck,mademoiselle,"hesaid。
  Noelraisedtheglasshehadgivenher。"Iwishyouallhappiness。"
  "Andyou,mademoiselle,"thetwomenmurmured。
  Shedrankalittle,androse。
  "Andnow,mademoiselle,"saidLavendie,"ifyoumustgo,Iwillseeyouhome。"
  NoeltookMadameLavendie’shand;itwascold,andreturnednopressure;hereyeshadtheglazedlookthatsheremembered。Thesoldierhadputhisemptyglassdownonthefloor,andwasregardingitunconsciousofher。Noelturnedquicklytothedoor;thelastthingshesawwasthelittlegirlnursingherdoll。
  InthestreetthepainterbeganatonceinhisrapidFrench:
  ’Ioughtnottohaveaskedyoutocome,mademoiselle;IdidnotknowourfriendBarrawasthere。Besides,mywifeisnotfittoreceivealady;vousvoyezqu’ilyadelamaniedanscettepauvretote。I
  shouldnothaveaskedyou;butIwassomiserable。"
  "Oh!"murmuredNoel,"Iknow。"
  "Inourhomeoverthereshehadinterests。Inthisgreattownshecanonlynursehergriefagainstme。Ah!thiswar!Itseemstomeweareallinthestomachofagreatcoilingserpent。Weliethere,beingdigested。Inawayitisbetteroutthereinthetrenches;
  theyarebeyondhate,theyhaveattainedaheightthatwehavenot。
  ItiswonderfulhowtheystillcanbeforgoingontilltheyhavebeatentheBoche;thatiscuriousanditisverygreat。DidBarratellyouhow,whentheycomeback——allthesefighters——theyaregoingtorule,andmanagethefutureoftheworld?Butitwillnotbeso。
  Theywillmixinwithlife,separate——bescattered,andtheywillberuledastheywerebefore。Thetongueandthepenwillrulethem:
  thosewhohavenotseenthewarwillrulethem。"
  "Oh!"’criedNoel,"surelytheywillbethebravestandstrongestinthefuture。"
  Thepaintersmiled。
  "Warmakesmensimple,"hesaid,"elemental;lifeinpeaceisneithersimplenorelemental,itissubtle,fullofchangingenvironments,towhichmanmustadapthimself;thecunning,theastute,theadaptable,willeverruleintimesofpeace。Itispathetic,thebeliefofthosebravesoldiersthatthe—futureistheirs。"
  "Hesaid,astrangething,"murmuredNoel;"thattheywereallalittlemad。"
  "Heisamanofqueergenius——Barra;youshouldseesomeofhisearlierpictures。Madisnotquitetheword,butsomethingisloosened,israttlingroundinthem,theyhavelostproportion,theyarebeingforcedinonedirection。Itellyou,mademoiselle,thiswarisonegreatforcing—house;everylivingplantisbeingmadetogrowtoofast,eachquality,eachpassion;hateandlove,intoleranceandlustandavarice,courageandenergy;yes,andself—sacrifice——
  allarebeingforcedandforcedbeyondtheirstrength,beyondthenaturalflowofthesap,forcedtilltherehascomeagreatwildluxuriantcrop,andthen——Psum!Presto!Thechangecomes,andtheseplantswillwitherandrotandstink。ButwewhoseeLifeinformsofArtaretheonlyoneswhofeelthat;andwearesofew。Thenaturalshapeofthingsislost。Thereisamistofbloodbeforealleyes。Menareafraidofbeingfair。Seehowweallhatenotonlyourenemies,butthosewhodifferfromus。Lookatthestreetstoo——seehowmenandwomenrushtogether,howVenusreignsinthisforcing—house。IsitnotnaturalthatYouthabouttodieshouldyearnforpleasure,forlove,forunion,beforedeath?"
  Noelstaredupathim。’Now!’shethought:Iwill。’
  "Yes,"shesaid,"Iknowthat’strue,becauseIrushed,myself。I’dlikeyoutoknow。Wecouldn’tbemarried——therewasn’ttime。And——
  hewaskilled。Buthissonisalive。That’swhyI’vebeenawaysolong。Iwanteveryonetoknow。"Shespokeverycalmly,buthercheeksfeltburninghot。
  Thepainterhadmadeanupwardmovementofhishands,asiftheyhadbeenjerkedbyanelectriccurrent,thenhesaidquitequietly:
  "Myprofoundrespect,mademoiselle,andmygreatsympathy。Andyourfather?"
  "It’sawfulforhim。"
  Thepaintersaidgently:"Ah!mademoiselle,Iamnotsosure。
  Perhapshedoesnotsuffersogreatly。Perhapsnotevenyourtroublecanhurthimverymuch。Helivesinaworldapart。That,Ithink,ishistruetragedytobealive,andyetnotlivingenoughtofeelreality。DoyouknowAnatoleFrance’sdescriptionofanoldwoman:
  ’Ellevivait,maissipeu。’WouldthatnotbewellsaidoftheChurchinthesedays:’Ellevivait,maissipeu。’Iseehimalwayslikearatherbeautifuldarkspireinthenight—timewhenyoucannotseehowitisattachedtotheearth。Hedoesnotknow,heneverwillknow,Life。"
  Noellookedroundathim。"WhatdoyoumeanbyLife,monsieur?I’malwaysreadingaboutLife,andpeopletalkofseeingLife!Whatisit——whereisit?IneverseeanythingthatyoucouldcallLife。"
  Thepaintersmiled。
  "To’seelife’!"hesaid。"Ah!thatisdifferent。Toenjoyyourself!Well,itismyexperiencethatwhenpeopleare’seeinglife’astheycallit,theyarenotenjoyingthemselves。Youknowwhenoneisverythirstyonedrinksanddrinks,butthethirstremainsallthesame。Thereareplaceswhereonecanseelifeasitiscalled,buttheonlypersonsyouwillseeenjoyingthemselvesatsuchplacesareafewhumdrumslikemyself,whogothereforatalkoveracupofcoffee。Perhapsatyourage,though,itisdifferent。"
  Noelclaspedherhands,andhereyesseemedtoshineinthegloom。
  "Iwantmusicanddancingandlight,andbeautifulthingsandfaces;
  butInevergetthem。"
  "No,theredoesnotexistinthistown,orinanyother,aplacewhichwillgiveyouthat。Fox—trotsandragtimeandpaintandpowderandglareandhalf—drunkenyoungmen,andwomenwithredlipsyoucangettheminplenty。Butrhythmandbeautyandcharmnever。InBrusselswhenIwasyoungerIsawmuch’life’astheycallit,butnotonelovelythingunspoiled;itwasallasashesinthemouth。
  Ah!youmaysmile,butIknowwhatIamtalkingof。Happinessnevercomeswhenyouarelookingforit,mademoiselle;beautyisinNatureandinrealart,neverinthesefalsesillymakebelieves。ThereisaplacejustherewhereweBelgiansgo;wouldyouliketoseehowtruemywordsare?
  "Oh,yes!"
  "Tres—bien!Letusgoin?"
  Theypassedintoarevolvingdoorwaywithlittleglasscompartmentswhichshotthemoutintoashiningcorridor。AttheendofthisthepainterlookedatNoelandseemedtohesitate,thenheturnedofffromtheroomtheywereabouttoenterintoaroomontheright。Itwaslarge,fullofgiltandplushandmarbletables,wherecoupleswereseated;youngmeninkhakiandoldermeninplainclothes,togetherorwithyoungwomen。AttheselastNoellooked,faceafterface,whiletheywerepassingdownalongwaytoanemptytable。Shesawthatsomewerepretty,andsomeonlytryingtobe,thatnearlyallwerepowderedandhadtheireyesdarkenedandtheirlipsreddened,tillshefeltherownfacetobedreadfullyungarnished:Upinagalleryasmallbandwasplayinganattractivejinglinghollowlittletune;andthebuzzoftalkandlaughterwasalmostdeafening。
  "Whatwillyouhave,mademoiselle?"saidthepainter。"Itisjustnineo’clock;wemustorderquickly。"
  "MayIhaveoneofthosegreenthings?"
  "Deuxcremesdementhe,"saidLavendietothewaiter。
  Noelwastooabsorbedtoseethequeer,bitterlittlesmilehoveringabouthisface。Shewasbusylookingatthefacesofwomenwhoseeyes,furtivelycoldandenquiring,werefixedonher;andatthefacesofmenwitheyesthatwerefurtivelywarmandwondering。
  "IwonderifDaddywaseverinaplacelikethis?"shesaid,puttingtheglassofgreenstufftoherlips。"Isitnice?Itsmellsofpeppermint。"
  "Abeautifulcolour。Goodluck,mademoiselle!"andhechinkedhisglasswithhers。
  Noelsipped,helditaway,andsippedagain。
  "It’snice;butawfullysticky。MayIhaveacigarette?"
  "Descigarettes,"saidLavendietothewaiter,"Etdeuxcafesnoirs。
  Now,mademoiselle,"hemurmuredwhentheywerebrought,"ifweimaginethatwehavedrunkabottleofwineeach,weshallhaveexhaustedallthepreliminariesofwhatiscalledVice。Amusing,isn’tit?"Heshruggedhisshoulders。
  HisfacestruckNoelsuddenlyastarnishedandalmostsullen。
  "Don’tbeangry,monsieur,it’sallnewtome,yousee。"
  Thepaintersmiled,hisbright,skin—deepsmile。
  "Pardon!Iforgetmyself。Only,ithurtsmetoseebeautyinaplacelikethis。Itdoesnotgowellwiththattune,andthesevoices,andthesefaces。Enjoyyourself,mademoiselle;drinkitallin!Seethewaythesepeoplelookateachother;whatloveshinesintheireyes!Apity,too,wecannothearwhattheyaresaying。
  Believeme,theirtalkismostsubtle,tres—spirituel。Theseyoungwomenare’doingtheirbit,’asyoucallit;bringingleplaisirtoallthesewhoareservingtheircountry。Eat,drink,love,fortomorrowwedie。Whocaresfortheworldsimpleortheworldbeautiful,indayslikethese?Thehouseofthespiritisempty。"
  Hewaslookingathersidelongasifhewouldenterherverysoul。
  Noelgotup。"I’mreadytogo,monsieur。"
  Heputhercloakonhershoulders,paidthebill,andtheywentout,threadingagainthroughthelittletables,throughthebuzzoftalkandlaughterandthefumesoftobacco,whileanotherhollowlittletunejingledawaybehindthem。
  "Throughthere,"saidthepainter,pointingtoanotherdoor,"theydance。Soitgoes。Londoninwar—time!Well,afterall,itisneververydifferent;nogreattownis。Didyouenjoyyoursightof’life,’mademoiselle?"
  "Ithinkonemustdance,tobehappy。Isthatwhereyourfriendsgo?"
  "Oh,no!Toaroommuchrougher,andplaydominoes,anddrinkcoffeeandbeer,andtalk。Theyhavenomoneytothrowaway。"
  "Whydidn’tyoushowme?"
  "Mademoiselle,inthatroomyoumightseesomeoneperhapswhomonedayyouwouldmeetagain;intheplacewevisitedyouweresafeenoughatleastIhopeso。"
  Noelshrugged。"Isupposeitdoesn’tmatternow,whatIdo。"
  Andarushofemotioncaughtatherthroat——awavefromthepast——themoonlitnight,thedarkoldAbbey,thewoodsandtheriver。Twotearsrolleddownhercheeks。
  "Iwasthinkingof——something,"shesaidinamuffledvoice。"It’sallright。"
  "Cheremademoiselle!"Lavendiemurmured;andallthewayhomehewastimidanddistressed。Shakinghishandatthedoor,shemurmured:
  "I’msorryIwassuchafool;andthankyouawfully,monsieur。Goodnight。"
  "Goodnight;andbetterdreams。Thereisagoodtimecoming——PeaceandHappinessoncemoreintheworld。ItwillnotalwaysbethisForcing—House。Goodnight,cheremademoiselle!"
  Noelwentuptothenursery,andstolein。Anight—lightwasburning,Nurseandbabywerefastasleep。Shetiptoedthroughintoherownroom。Oncethere,shefeltsuddenlysotiredthatshecouldhardlyundress;andyetcuriouslyrested,asifwiththatrushofemotion,Cyrilandthepasthadslippedfromherforever。