首页 >出版文学> Women in Love>第8章

第8章

  Hermioneseemedtobebearingdownonher,awfulandinchoate,makingsomeappeal。TheywerelookingatsomeIndiansilkshirts,gorgeousandsensualinthemselves,theirshape,theiralmostcorruptgorgeousness。AndHermionecamenear,andherbosomwrithed,andUrsulawasforamomentblankwithpanic。AndforamomentHermione'shaggardeyessawthefearonthefaceoftheother,therewasagainasortofcrash,acrashingdown。AndUrsulapickedupashirtofrichredandbluesilk,madeforayoungprincessoffourteen,andwascryingmechanically:
  `Isn'titwonderful——whowoulddaretoputthosetwostrongcolourstogether——'
  ThenHermione'smaidenteredsilentlyandUrsula,overcomewithdread,escaped,carriedawaybypowerfulimpulse。
  Birkinwentstraighttobed。Hewasfeelinghappy,andsleepy。Sincehehaddancedhewashappy。ButGeraldwouldtalktohim。Gerald,ineveningdress,satonBirkin'sbedwhentheotherlaydown,andmusttalk。
  `WhoarethosetwoBrangwens?'Geraldasked。
  `TheyliveinBeldover。'
  `InBeldover!Whoaretheythen?'
  `TeachersintheGrammarSchool。'
  Therewasapause。
  `Theyare!'exclaimedGeraldatlength。`IthoughtIhadseenthembefore。'
  `Itdisappointsyou?'saidBirkin。
  `Disappointsme!No——buthowisitHermionehasthemhere?'
  `SheknewGudruninLondon——that'stheyoungerone,theonewiththedarkerhair——she'sanartist——doessculptureandmodelling。'
  `She'snotateacherintheGrammarSchool,then——onlytheother?'
  `Both——Gudrunartmistress,Ursulaaclassmistress。'
  `Andwhat'sthefather?'
  `Handicraftinstructorintheschools。'
  `Really!'
  `Class—barriersarebreakingdown!'
  Geraldwasalwaysuneasyundertheslightlyjeeringtoneoftheother。
  `Thattheirfatherishandicraftinstructorinaschool!Whatdoesitmattertome?'
  Birkinlaughed。Geraldlookedathisface,asitlaytherelaughingandbitterandindifferentonthepillow,andhecouldnotgoaway。
  `Idon'tsupposeyouwillseeverymuchmoreofGudrun,atleast。Sheisarestlessbird,she'llbegoneinaweekortwo,'saidBirkin。
  `Wherewillshego?'
  `London,Paris,Rome——heavenknows。IalwaysexpecthertosheerofftoDamascusorSanFrancisco;she'sabirdofparadise。Godknowswhatshe'sgottodowithBeldover。Itgoesbycontraries,likedreams。'
  Geraldponderedforafewmoments。
  `Howdoyouknowhersowell?'heasked。
  `IknewherinLondon,'hereplied,`intheAlgernonStrangeset。She'llknowaboutPussumandLibidnikovandtherest——evenifshedoesn'tknowthempersonally。Shewasneverquitethatset——moreconventional,inaway。I'veknownherfortwoyears,Isuppose。'
  `Andshemakesmoney,apartfromherteaching?'askedGerald。
  `Some——irregularly。Shecansellhermodels。Shehasacertainreclame。'
  `Howmuchfor?'
  `Aguinea,tenguineas。'
  `Andaretheygood?Whatarethey?'
  `Ithinksometimestheyaremarvellouslygood。Thatishers,thosetwowagtailsinHermione'sboudoir——you'veseenthem——theyarecarvedinwoodandpainted。'
  `Ithoughtitwassavagecarvingagain。'
  `No,hers。That'swhattheyare——animalsandbirds,sometimesoddsmallpeopleineverydaydress,reallyratherwonderfulwhentheycomeoff。Theyhaveasortoffunninessthatisquiteunconsciousandsubtle。'
  `Shemightbeawell—knownartistoneday?'musedGerald。
  `Shemight。ButIthinkshewon't。Shedropsherartifanythingelsecatchesher。Hercontrarinesspreventshertakingitseriously——shemustneverbetooserious,shefeelsshemightgiveherselfaway。Andshewon'tgiveherselfaway——she'salwaysonthedefensive。That'swhatIcan'tstandabouthertype。Bytheway,howdidthingsgooffwithPussumafterIleftyou?Ihaven'theardanything。'
  `Oh,ratherdisgusting。Hallidayturnedobjectionable,andIonlyjustsavedmyselffromjumpinginhisstomach,inarealold—fashionedrow。'
  Birkinwassilent。
  `Ofcourse,'hesaid,`Juliusissomewhatinsane。Ontheonehandhe'shadreligiousmania,andontheother,heisfascinatedbyobscenity。Eitherheisapureservant,washingthefeetofChrist,orelseheismakingobscenedrawingsofJesus——actionandreaction——andbetweenthetwo,nothing。Heisreallyinsane。Hewantsapurelily,anothergirl,withababyface,ontheonehand,andontheother,hemusthavethePussum,justtodefilehimselfwithher。'
  `That'swhatIcan'tmakeout,'saidGerald。`Doesheloveher,thePussum,ordoesn'the?'
  `Heneitherdoesnordoesn't。Sheistheharlot,theactualharlotofadulterytohim。Andhe'sgotacravingtothrowhimselfintothefilthofher。Thenhegetsupandcallsonthenameofthelilyofpurity,thebaby—facedgirl,andsoenjoyshimselfallround。It'stheoldstory——
  actionandreaction,andnothingbetween。'
  `Idon'tknow,'saidGerald,afterapause,`thathedoesinsultthePussumsoverymuch。Shestrikesmeasbeingratherfoul。'
  `ButIthoughtyoulikedher,'exclaimedBirkin。`Ialwaysfeltfondofher。Ineverhadanythingtodowithher,personally,that'strue。'
  `Ilikedherallright,foracoupleofdays,'saidGerald。`Butaweekofherwouldhaveturnedmeover。There'sacertainsmellabouttheskinofthosewomen,thatintheendissickeningbeyondwords——evenifyoulikeitatfirst。'
  `Iknow,'saidBirkin。Thenheadded,ratherfretfully,`Butgotobed,Gerald。Godknowswhattimeitis。'
  Geraldlookedathiswatch,andatlengthroseoffthebed,andwenttohisroom。Buthereturnedinafewminutes,inhisshirt。
  `Onething,'hesaid,seatinghimselfonthebedagain。`Wefinishedupratherstormily,andIneverhadtimetogiveheranything。'
  `Money?'saidBirkin。`She'llgetwhatshewantsfromHallidayorfromoneofheracquaintances。'
  `Butthen,'saidGerald,`I'drathergiveherherduesandsettletheaccount。'
  `Shedoesn'tcare。'
  `No,perhapsnot。Butonefeelstheaccountisleftopen,andonewouldratheritwereclosed。'
  `Wouldyou?'saidBirkin。HewaslookingatthewhitelegsofGerald,asthelattersatonthesideofthebedinhisshirt。Theywerewhite—skinned,full,muscularlegs,handsomeanddecided。YettheymovedBirkinwithasortofpathos,tenderness,asiftheywerechildish。
  `IthinkI'dratherclosetheaccount,'saidGerald,repeatinghimselfvaguely。
  `Itdoesn'tmatteronewayoranother,'saidBirkin。
  `Youalwayssayitdoesn'tmatter,'saidGerald,alittlepuzzled,lookingdownatthefaceoftheothermanaffectionately。
  `Neitherdoesit,'saidBirkin。
  `Butshewasadecentsort,really——'
  `RenderuntoCaesarinathethingsthatareCaesarina's,'saidBirkin,turningaside。ItseemedtohimGeraldwastalkingforthesakeoftalking。
  `Goaway,itweariesme——it'stoolateatnight,'hesaid。
  `Iwishyou'dtellmesomethingthatdidmatter,'saidGerald,lookingdownallthetimeatthefaceoftheotherman,waitingforsomething。
  ButBirkinturnedhisfaceaside。
  `Allrightthen,gotosleep,'saidGerald,andhelaidhishandaffectionatelyontheotherman'sshoulder,andwentaway。
  InthemorningwhenGeraldawokeandheardBirkinmove,hecalledout:
  `IstillthinkIoughttogivethePussumtenpounds。'
  `OhGod!'saidBirkin,`don'tbesomatter—of—fact。Closetheaccountinyourownsoul,ifyoulike。Itisthereyoucan'tcloseit。'
  `HowdoyouknowIcan't?'
  `Knowingyou。'
  Geraldmeditatedforsomemoments。
  `Itseemstometherightthingtodo,youknow,withthePussums,istopaythem。'
  `Andtherightthingformistresses:keepthem。Andtherightthingforwives:liveunderthesameroofwiththem。Integervitaescelerisquepurus——'saidBirkin。
  `There'snoneedtobenastyaboutit,'saidGerald。
  `Itboresme。I'mnotinterestedinyourpeccadilloes。'
  `AndIdon'tcarewhetheryouareornot——Iam。'
  Themorningwasagainsunny。Themaidhadbeeninandbroughtthewater,andhaddrawnthecurtains。Birkin,sittingupinbed,lookedlazilyandpleasantlyoutonthepark,thatwassogreenanddeserted,romantic,belongingtothepast。Hewasthinkinghowlovely,howsure,howformed,howfinalallthethingsofthepastwere——thelovelyaccomplishedpast——thishouse,sostillandgolden,theparkslumberingitscenturiesofpeace。
  Andthen,whatasnareandadelusion,thisbeautyofstaticthings——
  whatahorrible,deadprisonBreadalbyreallywas,whatanintolerableconfinement,thepeace!Yetitwasbetterthanthesordidscramblingconflictofthepresent。Ifonlyonemightcreatethefutureafterone'sownheart——foralittlepuretruth,alittleunflinchingapplicationofsimpletruthtolife,theheartcriedoutceaselessly。
  `Ican'tseewhatyouwillleavemeatall,tobeinterestedin,'cameGerald'svoicefromthelowerroom。`NeitherthePussums,northemines,noranythingelse。'
  `Youbeinterestedinwhatyoucan,Gerald。OnlyI'mnotinterestedmyself,'saidBirkin。
  `WhatamItodoatall,then?'cameGerald'svoice。
  `Whatyoulike。WhatamItodomyself?'
  InthesilenceBirkincouldfeelGeraldmusingthisfact。
  `I'mblestifIknow,'camethegood—humouredanswer。
  `Yousee,'saidBirkin,`partofyouwantsthePussum,andnothingbutthePussum,partofyouwantsthemines,thebusiness,andnothingbutthebusiness——andthereyouare——allinbits——'
  `Andpartofmewantssomethingelse,'saidGerald,inaqueer,quiet,realvoice。
  `What?'saidBirkin,rathersurprised。
  `That'swhatIhopedyoucouldtellme,'saidGerald。
  Therewasasilenceforsometime。
  `Ican'ttellyou——Ican'tfindmyownway,letaloneyours。Youmightmarry,'Birkinreplied。
  `Who——thePussum?'askedGerald。
  `Perhaps,'saidBirkin。Andheroseandwenttothewindow。
  `Thatisyourpanacea,'saidGerald。`Butyouhaven'teventrieditonyourselfyet,andyouaresickenough。'
  `Iam,'saidBirkin。`Still,Ishallcomeright。'
  `Throughmarriage?'
  `Yes,'Birkinansweredobstinately。
  `Andno,'addedGerald。`No,no,no,myboy。'
  Therewasasilencebetweenthem,andastrangetensionofhostility。
  Theyalwayskeptagap,adistancebetweenthem,theywantedalwaystobefreeeachoftheother。Yettherewasacuriousheart—strainingtowardseachother。
  `Salvatorfemininus,'saidGerald,satirically。
  `Whynot?'saidBirkin。
  `Noreasonatall,'saidGerald,`ifitreallyworks。Butwhomwillyoumarry?'
  `Awoman,'saidBirkin。
  `Good,'saidGerald。
  BirkinandGeraldwerethelasttocomedowntobreakfast。Hermionelikedeverybodytobeearly。Shesufferedwhenshefeltherdaywasdiminished,shefeltshehadmissedherlife。Sheseemedtogripthehoursbythethroat,toforceherlifefromthem。Shewasratherpaleandghastly,asifleftbehind,inthemorning。Yetshehadherpower,herwillwasstrangelypervasive。
  Withtheentranceofthetwoyoungmenasuddentensionwasfelt。
  Sheliftedherface,andsaid,inheramusedsing—song:
  `Goodmorning!Didyousleepwell?I'msoglad。'
  Andsheturnedaway,ignoringthem。Birkin,whoknewherwell,sawthatsheintendedtodiscounthisexistence。
  `Willyoutakewhatyouwantfromthesideboard?'saidAlexander,inavoiceslightlysuggestingdisapprobation。`Ihopethethingsaren'tcold。
  Ohno!Doyoumindputtingouttheflameunderthechafingdish,Rupert?
  Thankyou。'
  EvenAlexanderwasratherauthoritativewhereHermionewascool。Hetookhistonefromher,inevitably。Birkinsatdownandlookedatthetable。
  Hewassousedtothishouse,tothisroom,tothisatmosphere,throughyearsofintimacy,andnowhefeltincompleteoppositiontoitall,ithadnothingtodowithhim。HowwellheknewHermione,asshesatthere,erectandsilentandsomewhatbemused,andyetsopotent,sopowerful!
  Heknewherstatically,sofinally,thatitwasalmostlikeamadness。
  Itwasdifficulttobelieveonewasnotmad,thatonewasnotafigureinthehallofkingsinsomeEgyptiantomb,wherethedeadallsatimmemorialandtremendous。HowutterlyheknewJoshuaMattheson,whowastalkinginhisharsh,yetrathermincingvoice,endlessly,endlessly,alwayswithastrongmentalityworking,alwaysinteresting,andyetalwaysknown,everythinghesaidknownbeforehand,howevernovelitwas,andclever。Alexandertheup—to—datehost,sobloodlesslyfree—and—easy,Frauleinsoprettilychiminginjustassheshould,thelittleItalianCountesstakingnoticeofeverybody,onlyplayingherlittlegame,objectiveandcold,likeaweaselwatchingeverything,andextractingherownamusement,nevergivingherselfintheslightest;thenMissBradley,heavyandrathersubservient,treatedwithcool,almostamusedcontemptbyHermione,andthereforeslightedbyeverybody——howknownitallwas,likeagamewiththefiguressetout,thesamefigures,theQueenofchess,theknights,thepawns,thesamenowastheywerehundredsofyearsago,thesamefiguresmovingroundinoneoftheinnumerablepermutationsthatmakeupthegame。Butthegameisknown,itsgoingonislikeamadness,itissoexhausted。
  TherewasGerald,anamusedlookonhisface;thegamepleasedhim。
  TherewasGudrun,watchingwithsteady,large,hostileeyes;thegamefascinatedher,andsheloathedit。TherewasUrsula,withaslightlystartledlookonherface,asifshewerehurt,andthepainwerejustoutsideherconsciousness。
  SuddenlyBirkingotupandwentout。
  `That'senough,'hesaidtohimselfinvoluntarily。
  Hermioneknewhismotion,thoughnotinherconsciousness。Sheliftedherheavyeyesandsawhimlapsesuddenlyaway,onasudden,unknowntide,andthewavesbrokeoverher。Onlyherindomitablewillremainedstaticandmechanical,shesatatthetablemakinghermusing,strayremarks。
  Butthedarknesshadcoveredher,shewaslikeashipthathasgonedown。
  Itwasfinishedforhertoo,shewaswreckedinthedarkness。Yettheunfailingmechanismofherwillworkedon,shehadthatactivity。
  `Shallwebathethismorning?'shesaid,suddenlylookingatthemall。
  `Splendid,'saidJoshua。`Itisaperfectmorning。'
  `Oh,itisbeautiful,'saidFraulein。
  `Yes,letusbathe,'saidtheItalianwoman。
  `Wehavenobathingsuits,'saidGerald。
  `Havemine,'saidAlexander。`Imustgotochurchandreadthelessons。
  Theyexpectme。'
  `AreyouaChristian?'askedtheItalianCountess,withsuddeninterest。
  `No,'saidAlexander。`I'mnot。ButIbelieveinkeepinguptheoldinstitutions。'
  `Theyaresobeautiful,'saidFrauleindaintily。
  `Oh,theyare,'criedMissBradley。
  Theyalltrailedoutontothelawn。Itwasasunny,softmorninginearlysummer,whenliferanintheworldsubtly,likeareminiscence。Thechurchbellswereringingalittlewayoff,notacloudwasinthesky,theswanswerelikeliliesonthewaterbelow,thepeacockswalkedwithlong,prancingstepsacrosstheshadowandintothesunshineofthegrass。
  Onewantedtoswoonintotheby—goneperfectionofitall。
  `Good—bye,'calledAlexander,wavinghisglovescheerily,andhedisappearedbehindthebushes,onhiswaytochurch。
  `Now,'saidHermione,`shallweallbathe?'
  `Iwon't,'saidUrsula。
  `Youdon'twantto?'saidHermione,lookingatherslowly。
  `No。Idon'twantto,'saidUrsula。
  `NorI,'saidGudrun。
  `Whataboutmysuit?'askedGerald。
  `Idon'tknow,'laughedHermione,withanodd,amusedintonation。`Willahandkerchiefdo——alargehandkerchief?'
  `Thatwilldo,'saidGerald。
  `Comealongthen,'sangHermione。
  ThefirsttorunacrossthelawnwasthelittleItalian,smallandlikeacat,herwhitelegstwinklingasshewent,duckingslightlyherhead,thatwastiedinagoldsilkkerchief。Shetrippedthroughthegateanddownthegrass,andstood,likeatinyfigureofivoryandbronze,atthewater'sedge,havingdroppedoffhertowelling,watchingtheswans,whichcameupinsurprise。ThenoutranMissBradley,likealarge,softpluminherdark—bluesuit。ThenGeraldcame,ascarletsilkkerchiefroundhisloins,histowelsoverhisarms。Heseemedtoflaunthimselfalittleinthesun,lingeringandlaughing,strollingeasily,lookingwhitebutnaturalinhisnakedness。ThencameSirJoshua,inanovercoat,andlastlyHermione,stridingwithstiffgracefromoutofagreatmantleofpurplesilk,herheadtiedupinpurpleandgold。Handsomewasherstiff,longbody,herstraight—steppingwhitelegs,therewasastaticmagnificenceaboutherassheletthecloakfloatlooselyawayfromherstriding。Shecrossedthelawnlikesomestrangememory,andpassedslowlyandstatelilytowardsthewater。
  Therewerethreeponds,interracesdescendingthevalley,largeandsmoothandbeautiful,lyinginthesun。Thewaterranoveralittlestonewall,oversmallrocks,splashingdownfromonepondtothelevelbelow。
  Theswanshadgoneoutontotheoppositebank,thereedssmelledsweet,afaintbreezetouchedtheskin。
  Geraldhaddivedin,afterSirJoshua,andhadswumtotheendofthepond。Thereheclimbedoutandsatonthewall。Therewasadive,andthelittleCountesswasswimminglikearat,tojoinhim。Theybothsatinthesun,laughingandcrossingtheirarmsontheirbreasts。SirJoshuaswamuptothem,andstoodnearthem,uptohisarm—pitsinthewater。
  ThenHermioneandMissBradleyswamover,andtheysatinarowontheembankment。
  `Aren'ttheyterrifying?Aren'ttheyreallyterrifying?'saidGudrun。
  `Don'ttheylooksaurian?Theyarejustlikegreatlizards。DidyoueverseeanythinglikeSirJoshua?Butreally,Ursula,hebelongstotheprimevalworld,whengreatlizardscrawledabout。'
  GudrunlookedindismayonSirJoshua,whostooduptothebreastinthewater,hislong,greyishhairwasheddownintohiseyes,hisnecksetintothick,crudeshoulders。HewastalkingtoMissBradley,who,seatedonthebankabove,plumpandbigandwet,lookedasifshemightrollandslitherinthewateralmostlikeoneoftheslitheringsealionsintheZoo。
  Ursulawatchedinsilence。Geraldwaslaughinghappily,betweenHermioneandtheItalian。HeremindedherofDionysos,becausehishairwasreallyyellow,hisfiguresofullandlaughing。Hermione,inherlarge,stiff,sinistergrace,leanednearhim,frightening,asifshewerenotresponsibleforwhatshemightdo。Heknewacertaindangerinher,aconvulsivemadness。
  Butheonlylaughedthemore,turningoftentothelittleCountess,whowasflashingupherfaceathim。
  Theyalldroppedintothewater,andwereswimmingtogetherlikeashoalofseals。Hermionewaspowerfulandunconsciousinthewater,largeandslowandpowerful。Palestrawasquickandsilentasawaterrat,Geraldwaveredandflickered,awhitenaturalshadow。Then,oneaftertheother,theywadedout,andwentuptothehouse。
  ButGeraldlingeredamomenttospeaktoGudrun。
  `Youdon'tlikethewater?'hesaid。
  Shelookedathimwithalong,slowinscrutablelook,ashestoodbeforehernegligently,thewaterstandinginbeadsalloverhisskin。
  `Ilikeitverymuch,'shereplied。
  Hepaused,expectingsomesortofexplanation。
  `Andyouswim?'
  `Yes,Iswim。'
  Stillhewouldnotaskherwhyshewouldnotgointhen。Hecouldfeelsomethingironicinher。Hewalkedaway,piquedforthefirsttime。
  `Whywouldn'tyoubathe?'heaskedheragain,later,whenhewasoncemoretheproperly—dressedyoungEnglishman。
  Shehesitatedamomentbeforeanswering,opposinghispersistence。
  `BecauseIdidn'tlikethecrowd,'shereplied。
  Helaughed,herphraseseemedtore—echoinhisconsciousness。Theflavourofherslangwaspiquanttohim。Whetherhewouldornot,shesignifiedtherealworldtohim。Hewantedtocomeuptoherstandards,fulfilherexpectations。Heknewthathercriterionwastheonlyonethatmattered。
  Theotherswerealloutsiders,instinctively,whatevertheymightbesocially。
  AndGeraldcouldnothelpit,hewasboundtostrivetocomeuptohercriterion,fulfilherideaofamanandahuman—being。
  Afterlunch,whenalltheothershadwithdrawn,HermioneandGeraldandBirkinlingered,finishingtheirtalk。Therehadbeensomediscussion,onthewholequiteintellectualandartificial,aboutanewstate,anewworldofman。Supposingthisoldsocialstatewerebrokenanddestroyed,then,outofthechaos,whatthen?
  Thegreatsocialidea,saidSirJoshua,wasthesocialequalityofman。No,saidGerald,theideawas,thateverymanwasfitforhisownlittlebitofatask——lethimdothat,andthenpleasehimself。Theunifyingprinciplewastheworkinhand。Onlywork,thebusinessofproduction,heldmentogether。Itwasmechanical,butthensocietywasamechanism。
  Apartfromworktheywereisolated,freetodoastheyliked。
  `Oh!'criedGudrun。`Thenweshan'thavenamesanymore——weshallbeliketheGermans,nothingbutHerrObermeisterandHerrUntermeister。
  Icanimagineit——"IamMrsColliery—ManagerCrich——IamMrsMember—of—ParliamentRoddice。IamMissArt—TeacherBrangwen。"Veryprettythat。'
  `Thingswouldworkverymuchbetter,MissArt—TeacherBrangwen,'saidGerald。
  `Whatthings,MrColliery—ManagerCrich?Therelationbetweenyouandme,parexemple?'
  `Yes,forexample,'criedtheItalian。`Thatwhichisbetweenmenandwomen——!'
  `Thatisnon—social,'saidBirkin,sarcastically。
  `Exactly,'saidGerald。`Betweenmeandawoman,thesocialquestiondoesnotenter。Itismyownaffair。'
  `Aten—poundnoteonit,'saidBirkin。
  `Youdon'tadmitthatawomanisasocialbeing?'askedUrsulaofGerald。
  `Sheisboth,'saidGerald。`Sheisasocialbeing,asfarassocietyisconcerned。Butforherownprivateself,sheisafreeagent,itisherownaffair,whatshedoes。'
  `Butwon'titberatherdifficulttoarrangethetwohalves?'askedUrsula。
  `Ohno,'repliedGerald。`Theyarrangethemselvesnaturally——weseeitnow,everywhere。'
  `Don'tyoulaughsopleasantlytillyou'reoutofthewood,'saidBirkin。
  Geraldknittedhisbrowsinmomentaryirritation。
  `WasIlaughing?'hesaid。
  `If,'saidHermioneatlast,`wecouldonlyrealise,thatinthespiritweareallone,allequalinthespirit,allbrothersthere——therestwouldn'tmatter,therewouldbenomoreofthiscarpingandenvyandthisstruggleforpower,whichdestroys,onlydestroys。'
  Thisspeechwasreceivedinsilence,andalmostimmediatelythepartyrosefromthetable。Butwhentheothershadgone,Birkinturnedroundinbitterdeclamation,saying:
  `Itisjusttheopposite,justthecontrary,Hermione。Wearealldifferentandunequalinspirit——itisonlythesocialdifferencesthatarebasedonaccidentalmaterialconditions。Weareallabstractlyormathematicallyequal,ifyoulike。Everymanhashungerandthirst,twoeyes,onenoseandtwolegs。We'reallthesameinpointofnumber。Butspiritually,thereispuredifferenceandneitherequalitynorinequalitycounts。Itisuponthesetwobitsofknowledgethatyoumustfoundastate。Yourdemocracyisanabsolutelie——yourbrotherhoodofmanisapurefalsity,ifyouapplyitfurtherthanthemathematicalabstraction。Wealldrankmilkfirst,wealleatbreadandmeat,weallwanttorideinmotor—cars——thereinliesthebeginningandtheendofthebrotherhoodofman。Butnoequality。
  `ButI,myself,whoammyself,whathaveItodowithequalitywithanyothermanorwoman?Inthespirit,Iamasseparateasonestarisfromanother,asdifferentinqualityandquantity。Establishastateonthat。Onemanisn'tanybetterthananother,notbecausetheyareequal,butbecausetheyareintrinsicallyother,thatthereisnotermofcomparison。Theminuteyoubegintocompare,onemanisseentobefarbetterthananother,alltheinequalityyoucanimagineistherebynature。Iwanteverymantohavehisshareintheworld'sgoods,sothatIamridofhisimportunity,sothatIcantellhim:"Nowyou'vegotwhatyouwant——you'vegotyourfairshareoftheworld'sgear。Now,youone—mouthedfool,mindyourselfanddon'tobstructme。'
  Hermionewaslookingathimwithleeringeyes,alonghercheeks。Hecouldfeelviolentwavesofhatredandloathingofallhesaid,comingoutofher。Itwasdynamichatredandloathing,comingstrongandblackoutoftheunconsciousness。Sheheardhiswordsinherunconsciousself,consciouslyshewasasifdeafened,shepaidnoheedtothem。
  `Itsoundslikemegalomania,Rupert,'saidGerald,genially。
  Hermionegaveaqueer,gruntingsound。Birkinstoodback。
  `Yes,letit,'hesaidsuddenly,thewholetonegoneoutofhisvoice,thathadbeensoinsistent,bearingeverybodydown。Andhewentaway。
  Buthefelt,later,alittlecompunction。Hehadbeenviolent,cruelwithpoorHermione。Hewantedtorecompenseher,tomakeitup。Hehadhurther,hehadbeenvindictive。Hewantedtobeongoodtermswithheragain。
  Hewentintoherboudoir,aremoteandverycushionyplace。Shewassittingathertablewritingletters。Sheliftedherfaceabstractedlywhenheentered,watchedhimgotothesofa,andsitdown。Thenshelookeddownatherpaperagain。
  Hetookupalargevolumewhichhehadbeenreadingbefore,andbecameminutelyattentivetohisauthor。HisbackwastowardsHermione。Shecouldnotgoonwithherwriting。Herwholemindwasachaos,darknessbreakinginuponit,andherselfstrugglingtogaincontrolwithherwill,asaswimmerstruggleswiththeswirlingwater。Butinspiteofhereffortsshewasbornedown,darknessseemedtobreakoverher,shefeltasifherheartwasbursting。Theterribletensiongrewstrongerandstronger,itwasmostfearfulagony,likebeingwalledup。
  Andthensherealisedthathispresencewasthewall,hispresencewasdestroyingher。Unlessshecouldbreakout,shemustdiemostfearfully,walledupinhorror。Andhewasthewall。Shemustbreakdownthewall——shemustbreakhimdownbeforeher,theawfulobstructionofhimwhoobstructedherlifetothelast。Itmustbedone,orshemustperishmosthorribly。
  Terriblyshocksranoverherbody,likeshocksofelectricity,asifmanyvoltsofelectricitysuddenlystruckherdown。Shewasawareofhimsittingsilentlythere,anunthinkableevilobstruction。Onlythisblottedouthermind,pressedoutherverybreathing,hissilent,stoopingback,thebackofhishead。
  Aterriblevoluptuousthrillrandownherarms——shewasgoingtoknowhervoluptuousconsummation。Herarmsquiveredandwerestrong,immeasurablyandirresistiblystrong。Whatdelight,whatdelightinstrength,whatdeliriumofpleasure!Shewasgoingtohaveherconsummationofvoluptuousecstasyatlast。Itwascoming!Inutmostterrorandagony,sheknewitwasuponhernow,inextremityofbliss。Herhandclosedonablue,beautifulballoflapislazulithatstoodonherdeskforapaper—weight。Sherolleditroundinherhandassherosesilently。Herheartwasapureflameinherbreast,shewaspurelyunconsciousinecstasy。Shemovedtowardshimandstoodbehindhimforamomentinecstasy。He,closedwithinthespell,remainedmotionlessandunconscious。