首页 >出版文学> Women in Love>第36章

第36章

  `Ofcourse,'heresumed,`Iwouldn'tnothavehadit!It'sacompleteexperience。Andshe'sawonderfulwoman。But——howIhatehersomewhere!It'scurious——'
  Birkinlookedathim,athisstrange,scarcelyconsciousface。Geraldseemedblankbeforehisownwords。
  `Butyou'vehadenoughnow?'saidBirkin。`Youhavehadyourexperience。
  Whyworkonanoldwound?'
  `Oh,'saidGerald,`Idon'tknow。It'snotfinished——'
  Andthetwowalkedon。
  `I'velovedyou,aswellasGudrun,don'tforget,'saidBirkinbitterly。
  Geraldlookedathimstrangely,abstractedly。
  `Haveyou?'hesaid,withicyscepticism。`Ordoyouthinkyouhave?'
  Hewashardlyresponsibleforwhathesaid。
  Thesledgecame。Gudrundismountedandtheyallmadetheirfarewell。
  Theywantedtogoapart,allofthem。Birkintookhisplace,andthesledgedroveawayleavingGudrunandGeraldstandingonthesnow,waving。SomethingfrozeBirkin'sheart,seeingthemstandingthereintheisolationofthesnow,growingsmallerandmoreisolated。
  WomenInLove:Chapter30CHAPTERXXXSnowedUpWHENURSULAandBirkinweregone,GudrunfeltherselffreeinhercontestwithGerald。Astheygrewmoreusedtoeachother,heseemedtopressuponhermoreandmore。Atfirstshecouldmanagehim,sothatherownwillwasalwaysleftfree。
  Butverysoon,hebegantoignoreherfemaletactics,hedroppedhisrespectforherwhimsandherprivacies,hebegantoexerthisownwillblindly,withoutsubmittingtohers。
  Alreadyavitalconflicthadsetin,whichfrightenedthemboth。Buthewasalone,whilstalreadyshehadbeguntocastroundforexternalresource。
  WhenUrsulahadgone,Gudrunfeltherownexistencehadbecomestarkandelemental。Shewentandcrouchedaloneinherbedroom,lookingoutofthewindowatthebig,flashingstars。Infrontwasthefaintshadowofthemountain—knot。Thatwasthepivot。Shefeltstrangeandinevitable,asifshewerecentreduponthepivotofallexistence,therewasnofurtherreality。
  PresentlyGeraldopenedthedoor。Sheknewhewouldnotbelongbeforehecame。Shewasrarelyalone,hepresseduponherlikeafrost,deadeningher。
  `Areyoualoneinthedark?'hesaid。Andshecouldtellbyhistoneheresentedit,heresentedthisisolationshehaddrawnroundherself。
  Yet,feelingstaticandinevitable,shewaskindtowardshim。
  `Wouldyouliketolightthecandle?'sheasked。
  Hedidnotanswer,butcameandstoodbehindher,inthedarkness。
  `Look,'shesaid,`atthatlovelystarupthere。Doyouknowitsname?'
  Hecrouchedbesideher,tolookthroughthelowwindow。
  `No,'hesaid。`Itisveryfine。'
  `Isn'titbeautiful!Doyounoticehowitdartsdifferentcolouredfires——itflashesreallysuperbly——'
  Theyremainedinsilence。Withamute,heavygesturesheputherhandonhisknee,andtookhishand。
  `AreyouregrettingUrsula?'heasked。
  `No,notatall,'shesaid。Then,inaslowmood,sheasked:
  `Howmuchdoyouloveme?'
  Hestiffenedhimselffurtheragainsther。
  `HowmuchdoyouthinkIdo?'heasked。
  `Idon'tknow,'shereplied。
  `Butwhatisyouropinion?'heasked。
  Therewasapause。Atlength,inthedarkness,camehervoice,hardandindifferent:
  `Verylittleindeed,'shesaidcoldly,almostflippant。
  Hisheartwenticyatthesoundofhervoice。
  `Whydon'tIloveyou?'heasked,asifadmittingthetruthofheraccusation,yethatingherforit。
  `Idon'tknowwhyyoudon't——I'vebeengoodtoyou。Youwereinafearfulstatewhenyoucametome。'
  Herheartwasbeatingtosuffocateher,yetshewasstrongandunrelenting。
  `WhenwasIinafearfulstate?'heasked。
  `Whenyoufirstcametome。Ihadtotakepityonyou。Butitwasneverlove。'
  Itwasthatstatement`Itwasneverlove,'whichsoundedinhisearswithmadness。
  `Whymustyourepeatitsooften,thatthereisnolove?'hesaidinavoicestrangledwithrage。
  `Wellyoudon'tthinkyoulove,doyou?'sheasked。
  Hewassilentwithcoldpassionofanger。
  `Youdon'tthinkyoucanloveme,doyou?'sherepeatedalmostwithasneer。
  `No,'hesaid。
  `Youknowyouneverhavelovedme,don'tyou?'
  `Idon'tknowwhatyoumeanbytheword`love,'hereplied。
  `Yes,youdo。Youknowallrightthatyouhaveneverlovedme。Haveyou,doyouthink?'
  `No,'hesaid,promptedbysomebarrenspiritoftruthfulnessandobstinacy。
  `Andyouneverwillloveme,'shesaidfinally,`willyou?'
  Therewasadiaboliccoldnessinher,toomuchtobear。
  `No,'hesaid。
  `Then,'shereplied,`whathaveyouagainstme!'
  Hewassilentincold,frightenedrageanddespair。`IfonlyIcouldkillher,'hisheartwaswhisperingrepeatedly。`IfonlyIcouldkillher——Ishouldbefree。'
  ItseemedtohimthatdeathwastheonlyseveringofthisGordianknot。
  `Whydoyoutortureme?'hesaid。
  Sheflungherarmsroundhisneck。
  `Ah,Idon'twanttotortureyou,'shesaidpityingly,asifshewerecomfortingachild。Theimpertinencemadehisveinsgocold,hewasinsensible。
  Sheheldherarmsroundhisneck,inatriumphofpity。Andherpityforhimwasascoldasstone,itsdeepestmotivewashateofhim,andfearofhispoweroverher,whichshemustalwayscounterfoil。
  `Sayyouloveme,'shepleaded。`Sayyouwilllovemeforever——won'tyou——won'tyou?'
  Butitwashervoiceonlythatcoaxedhim。Hersenseswereentirelyapartfromhim,coldanddestructiveofhim。Itwasheroverbearingwillthatinsisted。
  `Won'tyousayyou'lllovemealways?'shecoaxed。`Sayit,evenifitisn'ttrue——sayitGerald,do。'
  `Iwillloveyoualways,'herepeated,inrealagony,forcingthewordsout。
  Shegavehimaquickkiss。
  `Fancyyouractuallyhavingsaidit,'shesaidwithatouchofraillery。
  Hestoodasifhehadbeenbeaten。
  `Trytolovemealittlemore,andtowantmealittleless,'shesaid,inahalfcontemptuous,halfcoaxingtone。
  Thedarknessseemedtobeswayinginwavesacrosshismind,greatwavesofdarknessplungingacrosshismind。Itseemedtohimhewasdegradedattheveryquick,madeofnoaccount。
  `Youmeanyoudon'twantme?'hesaid。
  `Youaresoinsistent,andthereissolittlegraceinyou,solittlefineness。Youaresocrude。Youbreakme——youonlywasteme——itishorribletome。'
  `Horribletoyou?'herepeated。
  `Yes。Don'tyouthinkImighthavearoomtomyself,nowUrsulahasgone?Youcansayyouwantadressingroom。'
  `Youdoasyoulike——youcanleavealtogetherifyoulike,'hemanagedtoarticulate。
  `Yes,Iknowthat,'shereplied。`Socanyou。Youcanleavemewheneveryoulike——withoutnoticeeven。'
  Thegreattidesofdarknesswereswingingacrosshismind,hecouldhardlystandupright。Aterriblewearinessovercamehim,hefelthemustlieonthefloor。Droppingoffhisclothes,hegotintobed,andlaylikeamansuddenlyovercomebydrunkenness,thedarknessliftingandplungingasifhewerelyinguponablack,giddysea。Helaystillinthisstrange,horrificreelingforsometime,purelyunconscious。
  Atlengthsheslippedfromherownbedandcameovertohim。Heremainedrigid,hisbacktoher。Hewasallbutunconscious。
  Sheputherarmsroundhisterrifying,insentientbody,andlaidhercheekagainsthishardshoulder。
  `Gerald,'shewhispered。`Gerald。'
  Therewasnochangeinhim。Shecaughthimagainsther。Shepressedherbreastsagainsthisshoulders,shekissedhisshoulder,throughthesleepingjacket。Hermindwondered,overhisrigid,unlivingbody。Shewasbewildered,andinsistent,onlyherwillwassetforhimtospeaktoher。
  `Gerald,mydear!'shewhispered,bendingoverhim,kissinghisear。
  Herwarmbreathplaying,flyingrhythmicallyoverhisear,seemedtorelaxthetension。Shecouldfeelhisbodygraduallyrelaxingalittle,losingitsterrifying,unnaturalrigidity。Herhandsclutchedhislimbs,hismuscles,goingoverhimspasmodically。
  Thehotbloodbegantoflowagainthroughhisveins,hislimbsrelaxed。
  `Turnroundtome,'shewhispered,forlornwithinsistenceandtriumph。
  Soatlasthewasgivenagain,warmandflexible。Heturnedandgatheredherinhisarms。Andfeelinghersoftagainsthim,soperfectlyandwondrouslysoftandrecipient,hisarmstightenedonher。Shewasasifcrushed,powerlessinhim。Hisbrainseemedhardandinvinciblenowlikeajewel,therewasnoresistinghim。
  Hispassionwasawfultoher,tenseandghastly,andimpersonal,likeadestruction,ultimate。Shefeltitwouldkillher。Shewasbeingkilled。
  `MyGod,myGod,'shecried,inanguish,inhisembrace,feelingherlifebeingkilledwithinher。Andwhenhewaskissingher,soothingher,herbreathcameslowly,asifshewerereallyspent,dying。
  `ShallIdie,shallIdie?'sherepeatedtoherself。
  Andinthenight,andinhim,therewasnoanswertothequestion。
  Andyet,nextday,thefragmentofherwhichwasnotdestroyedremainedintactandhostile,shedidnotgoaway,sheremainedtofinishtheholiday,admittingnothing。Hescarcelyeverleftheralone,butfollowedherlikeashadow,hewaslikeadoomuponher,acontinual`thoushalt,'`thoushaltnot。'Sometimesitwashewhoseemedstrongest,whistshewasalmostgone,creepingneartheearthlikeaspentwind;sometimesitwasthereverse。
  Butalwaysitwasthiseternalsee—saw,onedestroyedthattheothermightexist,oneratifiedbecausetheotherwasnulled。
  `Intheend,'shesaidtoherself,`Ishallgoawayfromhim。'
  `Icanbefreeofher,'hesaidtohimselfinhisparoxysmsofsuffering。
  Andhesethimselftobefree。Heevenpreparedtogoaway,toleaveherinthelurch。Butforthefirsttimetherewasaflawinhiswill。
  `WhereshallIgo?'heaskedhimself。
  `Can'tyoubeself—sufficient?'herepliedtohimself,puttinghimselfuponhispride。
  `Self—sufficient!'herepeated。
  ItseemedtohimthatGudrunwassufficientuntoherself,closedroundandcompleted,likeathinginacase。Inthecalm,staticreasonofhissoul,herecognisedthis,andadmitteditwasherright,tobeclosedrounduponherself,self—complete,withoutdesire。Herealisedit,headmittedit,itonlyneededonelasteffortonhisownpart,towinforhimselfthesamecompleteness。Heknewthatitonlyneededoneconvulsionofhiswillforhimtobeabletoturnuponhimselfalso,tocloseuponhimselfasastonefixesuponitself,andisimpervious,self—completed,athingisolated。
  Thisknowledgethrewhimintoaterriblechaos。Because,howevermuchhemightmentallywilltobeimmuneandself—complete,thedesireforthisstatewaslacking,andhecouldnotcreateit。Hecouldseethat,toexistatall,hemustbeperfectlyfreeofGudrun,leaveherifshewantedtobeleft,demandnothingofher,havenoclaimuponher。
  Butthen,tohavenoclaimuponher,hemuststandbyhimself,insheernothingness。Andhisbrainturnedtonoughtattheidea。Itwasastateofnothingness。Ontheotherhand,hemightgivein,andfawntoher。Or,finally,hemightkillher。Orhemightbecomejustindifferent,purposeless,dissipated,momentaneous。Buthisnaturewastooserious,notgayenoughorsubtleenoughformockinglicentiousness。
  Astrangerenthadbeentorninhim;likeavictimthatistornopenandgiventotheheavens,sohehadbeentornapartandgiventoGudrun。
  Howshouldhecloseagain?Thiswound,thisstrange,infinitely—sensitiveopeningofhissoul,wherehewasexposed,likeanopenflower,toalltheuniverse,andinwhichhewasgiventohiscomplement,theother,theunknown,thiswound,thisdisclosure,thisunfoldingofhisowncovering,leavinghimincomplete,limited,unfinished,likeanopenflowerunderthesky,thiswashiscruellestjoy。Whythenshouldheforegoit?Whyshouldhecloseupandbecomeimpervious,immune,likeapartialthinginasheath,whenhehadbrokenforth,likeaseedthathasgerminated,toissueforthinbeing,embracingtheunrealisedheavens。
  Hewouldkeeptheunfinishedblissofhisownyearningeventhroughthetorturesheinflicteduponhim。Astrangeobstinacypossessedhim。
  Hewouldnotgoawayfromherwhatevershesaidordid。Astrange,deathlyyearningcarriedhimalongwithher。Shewasthedeterminatinginfluenceofhisverybeing,thoughshetreatedhimwithcontempt,repeatedrebuffs,anddenials,stillhewouldneverbegone,sinceinbeingnearher,even,hefeltthequickening,thegoingforthinhim,therelease,theknowledgeofhisownlimitationandthemagicofthepromise,aswellasthemysteryofhisowndestructionandannihilation。
  Shetorturedtheopenheartofhimevenasheturnedtoher。Andshewastorturedherself。Itmayhavebeenherwillwasstronger。Shefelt,withhorror,asifhetoreatthebudofherheart,toreitopen,likeanirreverentpersistentbeing。Likeaboywhopullsoffafly'swings,ortearsopenabudtoseewhatisintheflower,hetoreatherprivacy,atherverylife,hewoulddestroyherasanimmaturebud,tornopen,isdestroyed。
  Shemightopentowardshim,alongwhilehence,inherdreams,whenshewasapurespirit。Butnowshewasnottobeviolatedandruined。Sheclosedagainsthimfiercely。
  Theyclimbedtogether,atevening,upthehighslope,toseethesunset。
  Inthefinelybreathing,keenwindtheystoodandwatchedtheyellowsunsinkincrimsonanddisappear。Thenintheeastthepeaksandridgesglowedwithlivingrose,incandescentlikeimmortalflowersagainstabrown—purplesky,amiracle,whilstdownbelowtheworldwasabluishshadow,andabove,likeanannunciation,hoveredarosytransportinmid—air。
  Toheritwassobeautiful,itwasadelirium,shewantedtogathertheglowing,eternalpeakstoherbreast,anddie。Hesawthem,sawtheywerebeautiful。Buttherearosenoclamourinhisbreast,onlyabitternessthatwasvisionaryinitself。Hewishedthepeaksweregreyandunbeautiful,sothatsheshouldnotgethersupportfromthem。Whydidshebetraythetwoofthemsoterribly,inembracingtheglowoftheevening?Whydidsheleavehimstandingthere,withtheice—windblowingthroughhisheart,likedeath,togratifyherselfamongtherosysnow—tips?
  `Whatdoesthetwilightmatter?'hesaid。`Whydoyougrovelbeforeit?Isitsoimportanttoyou?'
  Shewincedinviolationandinfury。
  `Goaway,'shecried,`andleavemetoit。Itisbeautiful,beautiful,'
  shesanginstrange,rhapsodictones。`ItisthemostbeautifulthingI
  haveeverseeninmylife。Don'ttrytocomebetweenitandme。Takeyourselfaway,youareoutofplace——'
  Hestoodbackalittle,andleftherstandingthere,statue—like,transportedintothemysticglowingeast。Alreadytherosewasfading,largewhitestarswereflashingout。Hewaited。Hewouldforegoeverythingbuttheyearning。
  `ThatwasthemostperfectthingIhaveeverseen,'shesaidincold,brutaltones,whenatlastsheturnedroundtohim。`Itamazesmethatyoushouldwanttodestroyit。Ifyoucan'tseeityourself,whytrytodebarme?'Butinreality,hehaddestroyeditforher,shewasstrainingafteradeadeffect。
  `Oneday,'hesaid,softly,lookingupather,`Ishalldestroyyou,asyoustandlookingatthesunset;becauseyouaresuchaliar。'
  Therewasasoft,voluptuouspromisetohimselfinthewords。Shewaschilledbutarrogant。
  `Ha!'shesaid。`Iamnotafraidofyourthreats!'Shedeniedherselftohim,shekeptherroomrigidlyprivatetoherself。Buthewaitedon,inacuriouspatience,belongingtohisyearningforher。
  `Intheend,'hesaidtohimselfwithrealvoluptuouspromise,`whenitreachesthatpoint,Ishalldoawaywithher。'Andhetrembleddelicatelyineverylimb,inanticipation,ashetrembledinhismostviolentaccessesofpassionateapproachtoher,tremblingwithtoomuchdesire。
  ShehadacurioussortofallegiancewithLoerke,allthewhile,now,somethinginsidiousandtraitorous。Geraldknewofit。Butintheunnaturalstateofpatience,andtheunwillingnesstohardenhimselfagainsther,inwhichhefoundhimself,hetooknonotice,althoughhersoftkindlinesstotheotherman,whomhehatedasanoxiousinsect,madehimshiveragainwithanaccessofthestrangeshudderingthatcameoverhimrepeatedly。
  Heleftheraloneonlywhenhewentskiing,asportheloved,andwhichshedidnotpractise。Theheseemedtosweepoutoflife,tobeaprojectileintothebeyond。Andoften,whenhewentaway,shetalkedtothelittleGermansculptor。Theyhadaninvariabletopic,intheirart。
  Theywerealmostofthesameideas。HehatedMestrovic,wasnotsatisfiedwiththeFuturists,helikedtheWestAfricanwoodenfigures,theAztecart,MexicanandCentralAmerican。Hesawthegrotesque,andacurioussortofmechanicalmotionintoxicatedhim,aconfusioninnature。Theyhadacuriousgamewitheachother,GudrunandLoerke,ofinfinitesuggestivity,strangeandleering,asiftheyhadsomeesotericunderstandingoflife,thattheyalonewereinitiatedintothefearfulcentralsecrets,thattheworlddarednotknow。Theirwholecorrespondencewasinastrange,barelycomprehensiblesuggestivity,theykindledthemselvesatthesubtlelustoftheEgyptiansortheMexicans。Thewholegamewasoneofsubtleinter—suggestivity,andtheywantedtokeepitontheplaneofsuggestion。Fromtheirverbalandphysicalnuancestheygotthehighestsatisfactioninthenerves,fromaqueerinterchangeofhalf—suggestedideas,looks,expressionsandgestures,whichwerequiteintolerable,thoughincomprehensible,toGerald。Hehadnotermsinwhichtothinkoftheircommerce,histermsweremuchtoogross。
  Thesuggestionofprimitiveartwastheirrefuge,andtheinnermysteriesofsensationtheirobjectofworship。ArtandLifeweretothemtheRealityandtheUnreality。
  `Ofcourse,'saidGudrun,`lifedoesn'treallymatter——itisone'sartwhichiscentral。Whatonedoesinone'slifehaspeuderapport,itdoesn'tsignifymuch。'
  `Yes,thatisso,exactly,'repliedthesculptor。`Whatonedoesinone'sart,thatisthebreathofone'sbeing。Whatonedoesinone'slife,thatisabagatellefortheoutsiderstofussabout。'
  ItwascuriouswhatasenseofelationandfreedomGudrunfoundinthiscommunication。Shefeltestablishedforever。OfcourseGeraldwasbagatelle。
  Lovewasoneofthetemporalthingsinherlife,exceptinsofarasshewasanartist。ShethoughtofCleopatra——Cleopatramusthavebeenanartist;shereapedtheessentialfromaman,sheharvestedtheultimatesensation,andthrewawaythehusk;andMaryStuart,andthegreatRachel,pantingwithherloversafterthetheatre,theseweretheexotericexponentsoflove。Afterall,whatwastheloverbutfuelforthetransportofthissubtleknowledge,forafemaleart,theartofpure,perfectknowledgeinsensuousunderstanding。
  OneeveningGeraldwasarguingwithLoerkeaboutItalyandTripoli。
  TheEnglishmanwasinastrange,inflammablestate,theGermanwasexcited。
  Itwasacontestofwords,butitmeantaconflictofspiritbetweenthetwomen。AndallthewhileGudruncouldseeinGeraldanarrogantEnglishcontemptforaforeigner。AlthoughGeraldwasquivering,hiseyesflashing,hisfaceflushed,inhisargumenttherewasabrusqueness,asavagecontemptinhismanner,thatmadeGudrun'sbloodflareup,andmadeLoerkekeenandmortified。ForGeraldcamedownlikeasledge—hammerwithhisassertions,anythingthelittleGermansaidwasmerelycontemptiblerubbish。
  AtlastLoerketurnedtoGudrun,raisinghishandsinhelplessirony,ashrugofironicaldismissal,somethingappealingandchild—like。
  `Sehensie,gnadigeFrau——'hebegan。
  `BittesagenSienichtimmer,gnadigeFrau,'criedGudrun,hereyesflashing,hercheeksburning。ShelookedlikeavividMedusa。Hervoicewasloudandclamorous,theotherpeopleintheroomwerestartled。
  `Pleasedon'tcallmeMrsCrich,'shecriedaloud。
  Thename,inLoerke'smouthparticularly,hadbeenanintolerablehumiliationandconstraintuponher,thesemanydays。
  Thetwomenlookedatherinamazement。Geraldwentwhiteatthecheek—bones。
  `WhatshallIsay,then?'askedLoerke,withsoft,mockinginsinuation。
  `SagenSienurnichtdas,'shemuttered,hercheeksflushedcrimson。
  `Notthat,atleast。'
  Shesaw,bythedawninglookonLoerke'sface,thathehadunderstood。
  ShewasnotMrsCrich!So——o——,thatexplainedagreatdeal。
  `SollichFrauleinsagen?'heasked,malevolently。
  `Iamnotmarried,'shesaid,withsomehauteur。
  Herheartwasflutteringnow,beatinglikeabewilderedbird。Sheknewshehaddealtacruelwound,andshecouldnotbearit。
  Geraldsaterect,perfectlystill,hisfacepaleandcalm,likethefaceofastatue。Hewasunawareofher,orofLoerkeoranybody。Hesatperfectlystill,inanunalterablecalm。Loerke,meanwhile,wascrouchingandglancingupfromunderhisduckedhead。
  Gudrunwastorturedforsomethingtosay,torelievethesuspense。Shetwistedherfaceinasmile,andglancedknowingly,almostsneering,atGerald。
  `Truthisbest,'shesaidtohim,withagrimace。
  Butnowagainshewasunderhisdomination;now,becauseshehaddealthimthisblow;becauseshehaddestroyedhim,andshedidnotknowhowhehadtakenit。Shewatchedhim。Hewasinterestingtoher。ShehadlostherinterestinLoerke。
  Geraldroseatlength,andwentoverinaleisurelystillmovement,totheProfessor。ThetwobeganaconversationonGoethe。
  ShewasratherpiquedbythesimplicityofGerald'sdemeanourthisevening。
  Hedidnotseemangryordisgusted,onlyhelookedcuriouslyinnocentandpure,reallybeautiful。Sometimesitcameuponhim,thislookofcleardistance,anditalwaysfascinatedher。
  Shewaited,troubled,throughouttheevening。Shethoughthewouldavoidher,orgivesomesign。Buthespoketohersimplyandunemotionally,ashewouldtoanyoneelseintheroom。Acertainpeace,anabstractionpossessedhissoul。
  Shewenttohisroom,hotly,violentlyinlovewithhim。Hewassobeautifulandinaccessible。Hekissedher,hewasalovertoher。Andshehadextremepleasureofhim。Buthedidnotcometo,heremainedremoteandcandid,unconscious。Shewantedtospeaktohim。Butthisinnocent,beautifulstateofunconsciousnessthathadcomeuponhimpreventedher。Shefelttormentedanddark。
  Inthemorning,however,helookedatherwithalittleaversion,somehorrorandsomehatreddarkeningintohiseyes。Shewithdrewontoheroldground。Butstillhewouldnotgatherhimselftogether,againsther。
  Loerkewaswaitingforhernow。Thelittleartist,isolatedinhisowncompleteenvelope,feltthathereatlastwasawomanfromwhomhecouldgetsomething。Hewasuneasyallthewhile,waitingtotalkwithher,subtlycontrivingtobenearher。Herpresencefilledhimwithkeennessandexcitement,hegravitatedcunninglytowardsher,asifshehadsomeunseenforceofattraction。
  Hewasnotintheleastdoubtfulofhimself,asregardsGerald。Geraldwasoneoftheoutsiders。Loerkeonlyhatedhimforbeingrichandproudandoffineappearance。Allthesethings,however,riches,prideofsocialstanding,handsomephysique,wereexternals。WhenitcametotherelationwithawomansuchasGudrun,he,Loerke,hadanapproachandapowerthatGeraldneverdreamedof。
  HowshouldGeraldhopetosatisfyawomanofGudrun'scalibre?Didhethinkthatprideormasterfulwillorphysicalstrengthwouldhelphim?
  Loerkeknewasecretbeyondthesethings。Thegreatestpoweristheonethatissubtleandadjustsitself,notonewhichblindlyattacks。Andhe,Loerke,hadunderstandingwhereGeraldwasacalf。He,Loerke,couldpenetrateintodepthsfaroutofGerald'sknowledge。Geraldwasleftbehindlikeapostulantintheante—roomofthistempleofmysteries,thiswoman。ButheLoerke,couldhenotpenetrateintotheinnerdarkness,findthespiritofthewomaninitsinnerrecess,andwrestlewithitthere,thecentralserpentthatiscoiledatthecoreoflife。
  Whatwasit,afterall,thatawomanwanted?Wasitmeresocialeffect,fulfilmentofambitioninthesocialworld,inthecommunityofmankind?
  Wasitevenaunioninloveandgoodness?Didshewant`goodness'?WhobutafoolwouldacceptthisofGudrun?Thiswasbutthestreetviewofherwants。Crossthethreshold,andyoufoundhercompletely,completelycynicalaboutthesocialworldanditsadvantages。Onceinsidethehouseofhersoulandtherewasapungentatmosphereofcorrosion,aninflameddarknessofsensation,andavivid,subtle,criticalconsciousness,thatsawtheworlddistorted,horrific。
  Whatthen,whatnext?Wasitsheerblindforceofpassionthatwouldsatisfyhernow?Notthis,butthesubtlethrillsofextremesensationinreduction。Itwasanunbrokenwillreactingagainstherunbrokenwillinamyriadsubtlethrillsofreduction,thelastsubtleactivitiesofanalysisandbreakingdown,carriedoutinthedarknessofher,whilsttheoutsideform,theindividual,wasutterlyunchanged,evensentimentalinitsposes。
  Butbetweentwoparticularpeople,anytwopeopleonearth,therangeofpuresensationalexperienceislimited。Theclimaxofsensualreaction,oncereachedinanydirection,isreachedfinally,thereisnogoingon。
  Thereisonlyrepetitionpossible,orthegoingapartofthetwoprotagonists,orthesubjugatingoftheonewilltotheother,ordeath。