首页 >出版文学> Winesburg, Ohio>第6章
  Oneeveningwhenhewasrecoveringfromalongdebauchthestrangercamereelingalongthemainstreetofthetown。TomHardsatinachairbeforetheNewWillardHousewithhisdaughter,thenachildoffive,onhisknees。BesidehimontheboardsidewalksatyoungGeorgeWillard。Thestrangerdroppedintoachairbesidethem。Hisbodyshookandwhenhetriedtotalkhisvoicetrembled。
  Itwaslateeveninganddarknesslayoverthetownandovertherailroadthatranalongthefootofalittleinclinebeforethehotel。Somewhereinthedistance,offtothewest,therewasaprolongedblastfromthewhistleofapassengerengine。Adogthathadbeensleepingintheroadwayaroseandbarked。
  Thestrangerbegantobabbleandmadeaprophecyconcerningthechildthatlayinthearmsoftheagnostic。
  "Icameheretoquitdrinking,"hesaid,andtearsbegantorundownhischeeks。HedidnotlookatTomHard,butleanedforwardandstaredintothedarknessasthoughseeingavision。"Iranawaytothecountrytobecured,butIamnotcured。Thereisareason。"Heturnedtolookatthechildwhosatupverystraightonherfather'skneeandreturnedthelook。
  ThestrangertouchedTomHardonthearm。
  "DrinkisnottheonlythingtowhichIamad-
  dicted,"hesaid。"Thereissomethingelse。Iamaloverandhavenotfoundmythingtolove。ThatisabigpointifyouknowenoughtorealizewhatI
  mean。Itmakesmydestructioninevitable,yousee。
  Therearefewwhounderstandthat。"
  Thestrangerbecamesilentandseemedovercomewithsadness,butanotherblastfromthewhistleofthepassengerenginearousedhim。"Ihavenotlostfaith。Iproclaimthat。IhaveonlybeenbroughttotheplacewhereIknowmyfaithwillnotbereal-
  ized,"hedeclaredhoarsely。Helookedhardatthechildandbegantoaddressher,payingnomoreat-
  tentiontothefather。"Thereisawomancoming,"
  hesaid,andhisvoicewasnowsharpandearnest。
  "Ihavemissedher,yousee。Shedidnotcomeinmytime。Youmaybethewoman。Itwouldbelikefatetoletmestandinherpresenceonce,onsuchaneveningasthis,whenIhavedestroyedmyselfwithdrinkandsheisasyetonlyachild。"
  Theshouldersofthestrangershookviolently,andwhenhetriedtorollacigarettethepaperfellfromhistremblingfingers。Hegrewangryandscolded。
  "Theythinkit'seasytobeawoman,tobeloved,butIknowbetter,"hedeclared。Againheturnedtothechild。"Iunderstand,"hecried。"PerhapsofallmenIaloneunderstand。"
  Hisglanceagainwanderedawaytothedarkenedstreet。"Iknowabouther,althoughshehasnevercrossedmypath,"hesaidsoftly。"Iknowaboutherstrugglesandherdefeats。Itisbecauseofherdefeatsthatsheistomethelovelyone。Outofherdefeatshasbeenbornanewqualityinwoman。Ihaveanameforit。IcallitTandy。ImadeupthenamewhenIwasatruedreamerandbeforemybodybecamevile。Itisthequalityofbeingstrongtobeloved。Itissomethingmenneedfromwomenandthattheydonotget。"
  ThestrangeraroseandstoodbeforeTomHard。
  Hisbodyrockedbackandforthandheseemedabouttofall,butinsteadhedroppedtohiskneesonthesidewalkandraisedthehandsofthelittlegirltohisdrunkenlips。Hekissedthemecstatically。
  "BeTandy,littleone,"hepleaded。"Daretobestrongandcourageous。Thatistheroad。Ventureanything。Bebraveenoughtodaretobeloved。Besomethingmorethanmanorwoman。BeTandy。"
  Thestrangeraroseandstaggeredoffdownthestreet。AdayortwolaterhegotaboardatrainandreturnedtohishomeinCleveland。Onthesummerevening,afterthetalkbeforethehotel,TomHardtookthegirlchildtothehouseofarelativewhereshehadbeeninvitedtospendthenight。Ashewentalonginthedarknessunderthetreesheforgotthebabblingvoiceofthestrangerandhismindreturnedtothemakingofargumentsbywhichhemightde-
  stroymen'sfaithinGod。Hespokehisdaughter'snameandshebegantoweep。
  "Idon'twanttobecalledthat,"shedeclared。"I
  wanttobecalledTandy——TandyHard。"ThechildweptsobitterlythatTomHardwastouchedandtriedtocomforther。Hestoppedbeneathatreeand,takingherintohisarms,begantocaressher。"Begood,now,"hesaidsharply;butshewouldnotbequieted。Withchildishabandonshegaveherselfovertogrief,hervoicebreakingtheeveningstillnessofthestreet。"IwanttobeTandy。IwanttobeTandy。IwanttobeTandyHard,"shecried,shak-
  ingherheadandsobbingasthoughheryoungstrengthwerenotenoughtobearthevisionthewordsofthedrunkardhadbroughttoher。
  THESTRENGTHOFGOD
  THEREVERENDCurtisHartmanwaspastorofthePresbyterianChurchofWinesburg,andhadbeeninthatpositiontenyears。Hewasfortyyearsold,andbyhisnatureverysilentandreticent。Topreach,standinginthepulpitbeforethepeople,wasalwaysahardshipforhimandfromWednesdaymorninguntilSaturdayeveninghethoughtofnothingbutthetwosermonsthatmustbepreachedonSunday。
  EarlyonSundaymorninghewentintoalittleroomcalledastudyinthebelltowerofthechurchandprayed。Inhisprayerstherewasonenotethatal-
  wayspredominated。"GivemestrengthandcourageforThywork,OLord!"hepleaded,kneelingonthebarefloorandbowinghisheadinthepresenceofthetaskthatlaybeforehim。
  TheReverendHartmanwasatallmanwithabrownbeard。Hiswife,astout,nervouswoman,wasthedaughterofamanufacturerofunderwearatCleveland,Ohio。Theministerhimselfwasratherafavoriteinthetown。TheeldersofthechurchlikedhimbecausehewasquietandunpretentiousandMrs。White,thebanker'swife,thoughthimschol-
  arlyandrefined。
  ThePresbyterianChurchhelditselfsomewhatalooffromtheotherchurchesofWinesburg。Itwaslargerandmoreimposinganditsministerwasbetterpaid。Heevenhadacarriageofhisownandonsummereveningssometimesdroveabouttownwithhiswife。ThroughMainStreetandupanddownBuckeyeStreethewent,bowinggravelytothepeo-
  ple,whilehiswife,afirewithsecretpride,lookedathimoutofthecornersofhereyesandworriedlestthehorsebecomefrightenedandrunaway。
  ForagoodmanyyearsafterhecametoWines-
  burgthingswentwellwithCurtisHartman。Hewasnotonetoarousekeenenthusiasmamongthewor-
  shippersinhischurchbutontheotherhandhemadenoenemies。Inrealityhewasmuchinearnestandsometimessufferedprolongedperiodsofre-
  morsebecausehecouldnotgocryingthewordofGodinthehighwaysandbywaysofthetown。HewonderediftheflameofthespiritreallyburnedinhimanddreamedofadaywhenastrongsweetnewcurrentofpowerwouldcomelikeagreatwindintohisvoiceandhissoulandthepeoplewouldtremblebeforethespiritofGodmademanifestinhim。"I
  amapoorstickandthatwillneverreallyhappentome,"hemuseddejectedly,andthenapatientsmilelituphisfeatures。"Ohwell,IsupposeI'mdoingwellenough,"headdedphilosophically。
  Theroominthebelltowerofthechurch,whereonSundaymorningstheministerprayedforanin-
  creaseinhimofthepowerofGod,hadbutonewindow。Itwaslongandnarrowandswungout-
  wardonahingelikeadoor。Onthewindow,madeoflittleleadedpanes,wasadesignshowingtheChristlayinghishandupontheheadofachild。
  OneSundaymorninginthesummerashesatbyhisdeskintheroomwithalargeBibleopenedbe-
  forehim,andthesheetsofhissermonscatteredabout,theministerwasshockedtosee,intheupperroomofthehousenextdoor,awomanlyinginherbedandsmokingacigarettewhileshereadabook。
  CurtisHartmanwentontiptoetothewindowandcloseditsoftly。Hewashorrorstrickenatthethoughtofawomansmokingandtrembledalsotothinkthathiseyes,justraisedfromthepagesofthebookofGod,hadlookeduponthebareshouldersandwhitethroatofawoman。Withhisbraininawhirlhewentdownintothepulpitandpreachedalongsermonwithoutoncethinkingofhisgesturesorhisvoice。Thesermonattractedunusualattentionbecauseofitspowerandclearness。"Iwonderifsheislistening,ifmyvoiceiscarryingamessageintohersoul,"hethoughtandbegantohopethatonfutureSundaymorningshemightbeabletosaywordsthatwouldtouchandawakenthewomanapparentlyfargoneinsecretsin。
  ThehousenextdoortothePresbyterianChurch,throughthewindowsofwhichtheministerhadseenthesightthathadsoupsethim,wasoccupiedbytwowomen。AuntElizabethSwift,agreycompetent-
  lookingwidowwithmoneyintheWinesburgNa-
  tionalBank,livedtherewithherdaughterKateSwift,aschoolteacher。Theschoolteacherwasthirtyyearsoldandhadaneattrim-lookingfigure。
  Shehadfewfriendsandboreareputationofhavingasharptongue。Whenhebegantothinkabouther,CurtisHartmanrememberedthatshehadbeentoEuropeandhadlivedfortwoyearsinNewYorkCity。"Perhapsafterallhersmokingmeansnoth-
  ing,"hethought。Hebegantorememberthatwhenhewasastudentincollegeandoccasionallyreadnovels,goodalthoughsomewhatworldlywomen,hadsmokedthroughthepagesofabookthathadoncefallenintohishands。Witharushofnewdeter-
  minationheworkedonhissermonsallthroughtheweekandforgot,inhiszealtoreachtheearsandthesoulofthisnewlistener,bothhisembarrassmentinthepulpitandthenecessityofprayerinthestudyonSundaymornings。
  ReverendHartman'sexperiencewithwomenhadbeensomewhatlimited。HewasthesonofawagonmakerfromMuncie,Indiana,andhadworkedhiswaythroughcollege。Thedaughteroftheunder-
  wearmanufacturerhadboardedinahousewherehelivedduringhisschooldaysandhehadmarriedherafteraformalandprolongedcourtship,carriedonforthemostpartbythegirlherself。Onhismar-
  riagedaytheunderwearmanufacturerhadgivenhisdaughterfivethousanddollarsandhepromisedtoleaveheratleasttwicethatamountinhiswill。Theministerhadthoughthimselffortunateinmarriageandhadneverpermittedhimselftothinkofotherwomen。Hedidnotwanttothinkofotherwomen。
  WhathewantedwastodotheworkofGodquietlyandearnestly。
  Inthesouloftheministerastruggleawoke。FromwantingtoreachtheearsofKateSwift,andthroughhissermonstodelveintohersoul,hebegantowantalsotolookagainatthefigurelyingwhiteandquietinthebed。OnaSundaymorningwhenhecouldnotsleepbecauseofhisthoughtshearoseandwenttowalkinthestreets。WhenhehadgonealongMainStreetalmosttotheoldRichmondplacehestoppedandpickingupastonerushedofftotheroominthebelltower。WiththestonehebrokeoutacornerofthewindowandthenlockedthedoorandsatdownatthedeskbeforetheopenBibletowait。WhentheshadeofthewindowtoKateSwift'sroomwasraisedhecouldsee,throughthehole,directlyintoherbed,butshewasnotthere。ShealsohadarisenandhadgoneforawalkandthehandthatraisedtheshadewasthehandofAuntElizabethSwift。
  Theministeralmostweptwithjoyatthisdeliver-
  ancefromthecarnaldesireto"peep"andwentbacktohisownhousepraisingGod。Inanillmomentheforgot,however,tostoptheholeinthewindow。
  ThepieceofglassbrokenoutatthecornerofthewindowjustnippedoffthebareheeloftheboystandingmotionlessandlookingwithrapteyesintothefaceoftheChrist。
  CurtisHartmanforgothissermononthatSundaymorning。Hetalkedtohiscongregationandinhistalksaidthatitwasamistakeforpeopletothinkoftheirministerasamansetasideandintendedbynaturetoleadablamelesslife。"OutofmyownexperienceIknowthatwe,whoaretheministersofGod'sword,arebesetbythesametemptationsthatassailyou,"hedeclared。"Ihavebeentemptedandhavesurrenderedtotemptation。ItisonlythehandofGod,placedbeneathmyhead,thathasraisedmeup。Ashehasraisedmesoalsowillheraiseyou。
  Donotdespair。Inyourhourofsinraiseyoureyestotheskiesandyouwillbeagainandagainsaved。"
  Resolutelytheministerputthethoughtsofthewomaninthebedoutofhismindandbegantobesomethinglikealoverinthepresenceofhiswife。
  OneeveningwhentheydroveouttogetherheturnedthehorseoutofBuckeyeStreetandinthedarknessonGospelHill,aboveWaterworksPond,puthisarmaboutSarahHartman'swaist。Whenhehadeatenbreakfastinthemorningandwasreadytoretiretohisstudyatthebackofhishousehewentaroundthetableandkissedhiswifeonthecheek。WhenthoughtsofKateSwiftcameintohishead,hesmiledandraisedhiseyestotheskies。
  "Intercedeforme,Master,"hemuttered,"keepmeinthenarrowpathintentonThywork。"
  Andnowbegantherealstruggleinthesoulofthebrown-beardedminister。Bychancehediscov-
  eredthatKateSwiftwasinthehabitoflyinginherbedintheeveningsandreadingabook。Alampstoodonatablebythesideofthebedandthelightstreameddownuponherwhiteshouldersandbarethroat。Ontheeveningwhenhemadethediscoverytheministersatatthedeskinthedustyroomfromnineuntilafterelevenandwhenherlightwasputoutstumbledoutofthechurchtospendtwomorehourswalkingandprayinginthestreets。HedidnotwanttokisstheshouldersandthethroatofKateSwiftandhadnotallowedhismindtodwellonsuchthoughts。Hedidnotknowwhathewanted。
  "IamGod'schildandhemustsavemefrommy-
  self,"hecried,inthedarknessunderthetreesashewanderedinthestreets。Byatreehestoodandlookedattheskythatwascoveredwithhurryingclouds。HebegantotalktoGodintimatelyandclosely。"Please,Father,donotforgetme。Givemepowertogotomorrowandrepairtheholeinthewindow。Liftmyeyesagaintotheskies。Staywithme,Thyservant,inhishourofneed。"
  Upanddownthroughthesilentstreetswalkedtheministerandfordaysandweekshissoulwastroubled。Hecouldnotunderstandthetemptationthathadcometohimnorcouldhefathomtherea-
  sonforitscoming。InawayhebegantoblameGod,sayingtohimselfthathehadtriedtokeephisfeetinthetruepathandhadnotrunaboutseekingsin。
  "ThroughmydaysasayoungmanandallthroughmylifehereIhavegonequietlyaboutmywork,"
  hedeclared。"WhynowshouldIbetempted?WhathaveIdonethatthisburdenshouldbelaidonme?"
  ThreetimesduringtheearlyfallandwinterofthatyearCurtisHartmancreptoutofhishousetotheroominthebelltowertositinthedarknesslookingatthefigureofKateSwiftlyinginherbedandlaterwenttowalkandprayinthestreets。Hecouldnotunderstandhimself。Forweekshewouldgoalongscarcelythinkingoftheschoolteacherandtellinghimselfthathehadconqueredthecarnalde-
  siretolookatherbody。Andthensomethingwouldhappen。Ashesatinthestudyofhisownhouse,hardatworkonasermon,hewouldbecomener-
  vousandbegintowalkupanddowntheroom。"I
  willgooutintothestreets,"hetoldhimselfandevenashelethimselfinatthechurchdoorheper-
  sistentlydeniedtohimselfthecauseofhisbeingthere。"IwillnotrepairtheholeinthewindowandIwilltrainmyselftocomehereatnightandsitinthepresenceofthiswomanwithoutraisingmyeyes。
  Iwillnotbedefeatedinthisthing。TheLordhasdevisedthistemptationasatestofmysoulandI
  willgropemywayoutofdarknessintothelightofrighteousness。"
  OnenightinJanuarywhenitwasbittercoldandsnowlaydeeponthestreetsofWinesburgCurtisHartmanpaidhislastvisittotheroominthebelltowerofthechurch。Itwaspastnineo'clockwhenhelefthisownhouseandhesetoutsohurriedlythatheforgottoputonhisovershoes。InMainStreetnoonewasabroadbutHopHigginsthenightwatchmanandinthewholetownnoonewasawakebutthewatchmanandyoungGeorgeWillard,whosatintheofficeoftheWinesburgEagletryingtowriteastory。Alongthestreettothechurchwenttheminister,plowingthroughthedriftsandthinkingthatthistimehewouldutterlygivewaytosin。"I
  wanttolookatthewomanandtothinkofkissinghershouldersandIamgoingtoletmyselfthinkwhatIchoose,"hedeclaredbitterlyandtearscameintohiseyes。Hebegantothinkthathewouldgetoutoftheministryandtrysomeotherwayoflife。
  "Ishallgotosomecityandgetintobusiness,"hedeclared。"IfmynatureissuchthatIcannotresistsin,Ishallgivemyselfovertosin。AtleastIshallnotbeahypocrite,preachingthewordofGodwithmymindthinkingoftheshouldersandneckofawomanwhodoesnotbelongtome。"
  ItwascoldintheroomofthebelltowerofthechurchonthatJanuarynightandalmostassoonashecameintotheroomCurtisHartmanknewthatifhestayedhewouldbeill。Hisfeetwerewetfromtrampinginthesnowandtherewasnofire。IntheroominthehousenextdoorKateSwifthadnotyetappeared。Withgrimdeterminationthemansatdowntowait。SittinginthechairandgrippingtheedgeofthedeskonwhichlaytheBiblehestaredintothedarknessthinkingtheblackestthoughtsofhislife。Hethoughtofhiswifeandforthemomentalmosthatedher。"Shehasalwaysbeenashamedofpassionandhascheatedme,"hethought。"Manhasarighttoexpectlivingpassionandbeautyinawoman。Hehasnorighttoforgetthatheisanani-
  malandinmethereissomethingthatisGreek。I
  willthrowoffthewomanofmybosomandseekotherwomen。Iwillbesiegethisschoolteacher。I
  willflyinthefaceofallmenandifIamacreatureofcarnallustsIwilllivethenformylusts。"
  Thedistractedmantrembledfromheadtofoot,partlyfromcold,partlyfromthestruggleinwhichhewasengaged。Hourspassedandafeverassailedhisbody。Histhroatbegantohurtandhisteethchattered。Hisfeetonthestudyfloorfeltliketwocakesofice。Stillhewouldnotgiveup。"IwillseethiswomanandwillthinkthethoughtsIhaveneverdaredtothink,"hetoldhimself,grippingtheedgeofthedeskandwaiting。
  CurtisHartmancameneardyingfromtheeffectsofthatnightofwaitinginthechurch,andalsohefoundinthethingthathappenedwhathetooktobethewayoflifeforhim。Onothereveningswhenhehadwaitedhehadnotbeenabletosee,throughthelittleholeintheglass,anypartoftheschoolteacher'sroomexceptthatoccupiedbyherbed。Inthedarknesshehadwaiteduntilthewomansud-
  denlyappearedsittinginthebedinherwhitenight-
  robe。Whenthelightwasturnedupsheproppedherselfupamongthe'pillowsandreadabook。
  Sometimesshesmokedoneofthecigarettes。Onlyherbareshouldersandthroatwerevisible。
  OntheJanuarynight,afterhehadcomeneardyingwithcoldandafterhismindhadtwoorthreetimesactuallyslippedawayintoanoddlandoffan-
  tasysothathehadbyanexerciseofwillpowertoforcehimselfbackintoconsciousness,KateSwiftappeared。Intheroomnextdooralampwaslightedandthewaitingmanstaredintoanemptybed。Thenuponthebedbeforehiseyesanakedwomanthrewherself。Lyingfacedownwardsheweptandbeatwithherfistsuponthepillow。Withafinaloutburstofweepingshehalfarose,andinthepresenceofthemanwhohadwaitedtolookandnottothinkthoughtsthewomanofsinbegantopray。Inthelamplightherfigure,slimandstrong,lookedlikethefigureoftheboyinthepresenceoftheChristontheleadedwindow。
  CurtisHartmanneverrememberedhowhegotoutofthechurch。Withacryhearose,draggingtheheavydeskalongthefloor。TheBiblefell,makingagreatclatterinthesilence。Whenthelightinthehousenextdoorwentouthestumbleddownthestairwayandintothestreet。AlongthestreethewentandraninatthedooroftheWinesburgEagle。
  ToGeorgeWillard,whowastrampingupanddownintheofficeundergoingastruggleofhisown,hebegantotalkhalfincoherently。"ThewaysofGodarebeyondhumanunderstanding,"hecried,run-
  ninginquicklyandclosingthedoor。Hebegantoadvanceupontheyoungman,hiseyesglowingandhisvoiceringingwithfervor。"Ihavefoundthelight,"hecried。"Aftertenyearsinthistown,Godhasmanifestedhimselftomeinthebodyofawoman。"Hisvoicedroppedandhebegantowhis-
  per。"Ididnotunderstand,"hesaid。"WhatItooktobeatrialofmysoulwasonlyapreparationforanewandmorebeautifulfervorofthespirit。GodhasappearedtomeinthepersonofKateSwift,theschoolteacher,kneelingnakedonabed。DoyouknowKateSwift?Althoughshemaynotbeawareofit,sheisaninstrumentofGod,bearingthemes-
  sageoftruth。"
  ReverendCurtisHartmanturnedandranoutoftheoffice。Atthedoorhestopped,andafterlookingupanddownthedesertedstreet,turnedagaintoGeorgeWillard。"Iamdelivered。Havenofear。"Heheldupableedingfistfortheyoungmantosee。"I
  smashedtheglassofthewindow,"hecried。"Nowitwillhavetobewhollyreplaced。ThestrengthofGodwasinmeandIbrokeitwithmyfist。"
  THETEACHER
  SNOWLAYDEEPinthestreetsofWinesburg。Ithadbeguntosnowaboutteno'clockinthemorningandawindsprangupandblewthesnowincloudsalongMainStreet。Thefrozenmudroadsthatledintotownwerefairlysmoothandinplacesicecov-
  eredthemud。"Therewillbegoodsleighing,"saidWillHenderson,standingbythebarinEdGriffith'ssaloon。OutofthesaloonhewentandmetSylvesterWestthedruggiststumblingalonginthekindofheavyovershoescalledarctics。"SnowwillbringthepeopleintotownonSaturday,"saidthedruggist。
  Thetwomenstoppedanddiscussedtheiraffairs。
  WillHenderson,whohadonalightovercoatandnoovershoes,kickedtheheelofhisleftfootwiththetoeoftheright。"Snowwillbegoodforthewheat,"observedthedruggistsagely。
  YoungGeorgeWillard,whohadnothingtodo,wasgladbecausehedidnotfeellikeworkingthatday。TheweeklypaperhadbeenprintedandtakentothepostofficeWednesdayeveningandthesnowbegantofallonThursday。Ateighto'clock,afterthemorningtrainhadpassed,heputapairofskatesinhispocketandwentuptoWaterworksPondbutdidnotgoskating。PastthepondandalongapaththatfollowedWineCreekhewentuntilhecametoagroveofbeechtrees。Therehebuiltafireagainstthesideofalogandsatdownattheendofthelogtothink。Whenthesnowbegantofallandthewindtoblowhehurriedaboutgettingfuelforthefire。
  TheyoungreporterwasthinkingofKateSwift,whohadoncebeenhisschoolteacher。Ontheeve-
  ningbeforehehadgonetoherhousetogetabookshewantedhimtoreadandhadbeenalonewithherforanhour。Forthefourthorfifthtimethewomanhadtalkedtohimwithgreatearnestnessandhecouldnotmakeoutwhatshemeantbyhertalk。Hebegantobelieveshemustbeinlovewithhimandthethoughtwasbothpleasingandannoying。
  Upfromtheloghesprangandbegantopilesticksonthefire。Lookingabouttobesurehewasalonehetalkedaloudpretendinghewasinthepresenceofthewoman,"Oh,,you'rejustlettingon,youknowyouare,"hedeclared。"Iamgoingtofindoutaboutyou。Youwaitandsee。"
  Theyoungmangotupandwentbackalongthepathtowardtownleavingthefireblazinginthewood。Ashewentthroughthestreetstheskatesclankedinhispocket。InhisownroomintheNewWillardHousehebuiltafireinthestoveandlaydownontopofthebed。Hebegantohavelustfulthoughtsandpullingdowntheshadeofthewindowclosedhiseyesandturnedhisfacetothewall。Hetookapillowintohisarmsandembraceditthinkingfirstoftheschoolteacher,whobyherwordshadstirredsomethingwithinhim,andlaterofHelenWhite,theslimdaughterofthetownbanker,withwhomhehadbeenforalongtimehalfinlove。
  Bynineo'clockofthateveningsnowlaydeepinthestreetsandtheweatherhadbecomebittercold。
  Itwasdifficulttowalkabout。Thestoresweredarkandthepeoplehadcrawledawaytotheirhouses。
  TheeveningtrainfromClevelandwasverylatebutnobodywasinterestedinitsarrival。Byteno'clockallbutfouroftheeighteenhundredcitizensofthetownwereinbed。
  HopHiggins,thenightwatchman,waspartiallyawake。Hewaslameandcarriedaheavystick。Ondarknightshecarriedalantern。Betweennineandteno'clockhewenthisrounds。UpanddownMainStreethestumbledthroughthedriftstryingthedoorsofthestores。Thenhewentintoalleywaysandtriedthebackdoors。FindingalltighthehurriedaroundthecornertotheNewWillardHouseandbeatonthedoor。Throughtherestofthenightheintendedtostaybythestove。"Yougotobed。I'llkeepthestovegoing,"hesaidtotheboywhosleptonacotinthehoteloffice。
  HopHigginssatdownbythestoveandtookoffhisshoes。Whentheboyhadgonetosleephebegantothinkofhisownaffairs。Heintendedtopainthishouseinthespringandsatbythestovecalculatingthecostofpaintandlabor。Thatledhimintoothercalculations。Thenightwatchmanwassixtyyearsoldandwantedtoretire。HehadbeenasoldierintheCivilWaranddrewasmallpension。Hehopedtofindsomenewmethodofmakingalivingandaspiredtobecomeaprofessionalbreederofferrets。
  Alreadyhehadfourofthestrangelyshapedsavagelittlecreatures,thatareusedbysportsmeninthepursuitofrabbits,inthecellarofhishouse。"NowIhaveonemaleandthreefemales,"hemused。"IfIamluckybyspringIshallhavetwelveorfifteen。
  InanotheryearIshallbeabletobeginadvertisingferretsforsaleinthesportingpapers。"
  Thenightwatchmansettledintohischairandhismindbecameablank。Hedidnotsleep。Byyearsofpracticehehadtrainedhimselftositforhoursthroughthelongnightsneitherasleepnorawake。
  Inthemorninghewasalmostasrefreshedasthoughhehadslept。
  WithHopHigginssafelystowedawayinthechairbehindthestoveonlythreepeoplewereawakeinWinesburg。GeorgeWillardwasintheofficeoftheEaglepretendingtobeatworkonthewritingofastorybutinrealitycontinuingthemoodofthemorningbythefireinthewood。InthebelltowerofthePresbyterianChurchtheReverendCurtisHartmanwassittinginthedarknesspreparinghim-
  selfforarevelationfromGod,andKateSwift,theschoolteacher,wasleavingherhouseforawalkinthestorm。
  Itwaspastteno'clockwhenKateSwiftsetoutandthewalkwasunpremeditated。Itwasasthoughthemanandtheboy,bythinkingofher,haddrivenherforthintothewintrystreets。AuntElizabethSwifthadgonetothecountyseatconcerningsomebusinessinconnectionwithmortgagesinwhichshehadmoneyinvestedandwouldnotbebackuntilthenextday。Byahugestove,calledabaseburner,inthelivingroomofthehousesatthedaughterreadingabook。Suddenlyshesprangtoherfeetand,snatchingacloakfromarackbythefrontdoor,ranoutofthehouse。
  AttheageofthirtyKateSwiftwasnotknowninWinesburgasaprettywoman。Hercomplexionwasnotgoodandherfacewascoveredwithblotchesthatindicatedillhealth。Aloneinthenightinthewinterstreetsshewaslovely。Herbackwasstraight,hershoulderssquare,andherfeatureswereasthefeaturesofatinygoddessonapedestalinagardeninthedimlightofasummerevening。
  DuringtheafternoontheschoolteacherhadbeentoseeDoctorWellingconcerningherhealth。Thedoctorhadscoldedherandhaddeclaredshewasindangeroflosingherhearing。ItwasfoolishforKateSwifttobeabroadinthestorm,foolishandperhapsdangerous。
  Thewomaninthestreetsdidnotrememberthewordsofthedoctorandwouldnothaveturnedbackhadsheremembered。Shewasverycoldbutafterwalkingforfiveminutesnolongermindedthecold。
  FirstshewenttotheendofherownstreetandthenacrossapairofhayscalessetinthegroundbeforeafeedbarnandintoTrunionPike。AlongTrunionPikeshewenttoNedWinters'barnandturningeastfollowedastreetoflowframehousesthatledoverGospelHillandintoSuckerRoadthatrandownashallowvalleypastIkeSmead'schickenfarmtoWaterworksPond。Asshewentalong,thebold,ex-
  citedmoodthathaddrivenheroutofdoorspassedandthenreturnedagain。
  TherewassomethingbitingandforbiddinginthecharacterofKateSwift。Everyonefeltit。Intheschoolroomshewassilent,cold,andstern,andyetinanoddwayveryclosetoherpupils。Onceinalongwhilesomethingseemedtohavecomeoverherandshewashappy。Allofthechildrenintheschoolroomfelttheeffectofherhappiness。Foratimetheydidnotworkbutsatbackintheirchairsandlookedather。
  Withhandsclaspedbehindherbacktheschoolteacherwalkedupanddownintheschoolroomandtalkedveryrapidly。Itdidnotseemtomatterwhatsubjectcameintohermind。OnceshetalkedtothechildrenofCharlesLambandmadeupstrange,inti-
  matelittlestoriesconcerningthelifeofthedeadwriter。ThestoriesweretoldwiththeairofonewhohadlivedinahousewithCharlesLambandknewallthesecretsofhisprivatelife。Thechildrenweresomewhatconfused,thinkingCharlesLambmustbesomeonewhohadoncelivedinWinesburg。
  Onanotheroccasiontheteachertalkedtothechil-
  drenofBenvenutoCellini。Thattimetheylaughed。
  Whatabragging,blustering,brave,lovablefellowshemadeoftheoldartist!Concerninghimalsosheinventedanecdotes。TherewasoneofaGermanmusicteacherwhohadaroomaboveCellini'slodg-
  ingsinthecityofMilanthatmadetheboysguffaw。
  SugarsMcNutts,afatboywithredcheeks,laughedsohardthathebecamedizzyandfelloffhisseatandKateSwiftlaughedwithhim。Thensuddenlyshebecameagaincoldandstern。
  Onthewinternightwhenshewalkedthroughthedesertedsnow-coveredstreets,acrisishadcomeintothelifeoftheschoolteacher。AlthoughnooneinWinesburgwouldhavesuspectedit,herlifehadbeenveryadventurous。Itwasstilladventurous。
  Daybydayassheworkedintheschoolroomorwalkedinthestreets,grief,hope,anddesirefoughtwithinher。Behindacoldexteriorthemostextraor-
  dinaryeventstranspiredinhermind。Thepeopleofthetownthoughtofherasaconfirmedoldmaidandbecauseshespokesharplyandwentherownwaythoughtherlackinginallthehumanfeelingthatdidsomuchtomakeandmartheirownlives。
  Inrealityshewasthemosteagerlypassionatesoulamongthem,andmorethanonce,inthefiveyearssinceshehadcomebackfromhertravelstosettleinWinesburgandbecomeaschoolteacher,hadbeencompelledtogooutofthehouseandwalkhalfthroughthenightfightingoutsomebattleragingwithin。OnceonanightwhenitrainedshehadstayedoutsixhoursandwhenshecamehomehadaquarrelwithAuntElizabethSwift。"Iamgladyou'renotaman,"saidthemothersharply。"MorethanonceI'vewaitedforyourfathertocomehome,notknowingwhatnewmesshehadgotinto。I'vehadmyshareofuncertaintyandyoucannotblamemeifIdonotwanttoseetheworstsideofhimreproducedinyou。"
  KateSwift'smindwasablazewiththoughtsofGeorgeWillard。Insomethinghehadwrittenasaschoolboyshethoughtshehadrecognizedthesparkofgeniusandwantedtoblowonthespark。
  OnedayinthesummershehadgonetotheEagleofficeandfindingtheboyunoccupiedhadtakenhimoutMainStreettotheFairGround,wherethetwosatonagrassybankandtalked。Theschoolteachertriedtobringhometothemindoftheboysomeconceptionofthedifficultieshewouldhavetofaceasawriter。"Youwillhavetoknowlife,"shedeclared,andhervoicetrembledwithearnestness。
  ShetookholdofGeorgeWillard'sshouldersandturnedhimaboutsothatshecouldlookintohiseyes。Apasser-bymighthavethoughtthemabouttoembrace。"Ifyouaretobecomeawriteryou'llhavetostopfoolingwithwords,"sheexplained。"Itwouldbebettertogiveupthenotionofwritinguntilyouarebetterprepared。Nowit'stimetobeliving。Idon'twanttofrightenyou,butIwouldliketomakeyouunderstandtheimportofwhatyouthinkofattempting。Youmustnotbecomeamerepeddlerofwords。Thethingtolearnistoknowwhatpeoplearethinkingabout,notwhattheysay。"
  OntheeveningbeforethatstormyThursdaynightwhentheReverendCurtisHartmansatinthebelltowerofthechurchwaitingtolookatherbody,youngWillardhadgonetovisittheteacherandtoborrowabook。Itwasthenthethinghappenedthatconfusedandpuzzledtheboy。Hehadthebookunderhisarmandwaspreparingtodepart。AgainKateSwifttalkedwithgreatearnestness。Nightwascomingonandthelightintheroomgrewdim。Asheturnedtogoshespokehisnamesoftlyandwithanimpulsivemovementtookholdofhishand。Be-
  causethereporterwasrapidlybecomingamansomethingofhisman'sappeal,combinedwiththewinsomenessoftheboy,stirredtheheartofthelonelywoman。Apassionatedesiretohavehimun-
  derstandtheimportoflife,tolearntointerpretittrulyandhonestly,sweptoverher。Leaningfor-
  ward,herlipsbrushedhischeek。Atthesamemo-
  mentheforthefirsttimebecameawareofthemarkedbeautyofherfeatures。Theywerebothem-
  barrassed,andtorelieveherfeelingshebecameharshanddomineering。"What'stheuse?ItwillbetenyearsbeforeyoubegintounderstandwhatI
  meanwhenItalktoyou,"shecriedpassionately。
  Onthenightofthestormandwhiletheministersatinthechurchwaitingforher,KateSwiftwenttotheofficeoftheWinesburgEagle,intendingtohaveanothertalkwiththeboy。Afterthelongwalkinthesnowshewascold,lonely,andtired。AsshecamethroughMainStreetshesawthefightfromtheprintshopwindowshiningonthesnowandonanimpulseopenedthedoorandwentin。Foranhourshesatbythestoveintheofficetalkingoflife。Shetalkedwithpassionateearnestness。Theimpulsethathaddrivenheroutintothesnowpoureditselfoutintotalk。Shebecameinspiredasshesometimesdidinthepresenceofthechildreninschool。Agreateagernesstoopenthedooroflifetotheboy,whohadbeenherpupilandwhoshethoughtmightpos-
  sessatalentfortheunderstandingoflife,hadpos-
  sessionofher。Sostrongwasherpassionthatitbecamesomethingphysical。Againherhandstookholdofhisshouldersandsheturnedhimabout。Inthedimlighthereyesblazed。Shearoseandlaughed,notsharplyaswascustomarywithher,butinaqueer,hesitatingway。"Imustbegoing,"shesaid。"Inamoment,ifIstay,I'llbewantingtokissyou。"
  Inthenewspaperofficeaconfusionarose。KateSwiftturnedandwalkedtothedoor。Shewasateacherbutshewasalsoawoman。AsshelookedatGeorgeWillard,thepassionatedesiretobelovedbyaman,thathadathousandtimesbeforesweptlikeastormoverherbody,tookpossessionofher。
  InthelamplightGeorgeWillardlookednolongeraboy,butamanreadytoplaythepartofaman。
  TheschoolteacherletGeorgeWillardtakeherintohisarms。Inthewarmlittleofficetheairbecamesuddenlyheavyandthestrengthwentoutofherbody。Leaningagainstalowcounterbythedoorshewaited。Whenhecameandputahandonhershoul-
  dersheturnedandletherbodyfallheavilyagainsthim。ForGeorgeWillardtheconfusionwasimmedi-
  atelyincreased。Foramomentheheldthebodyofthewomantightlyagainsthisbodyandthenitstiff-
  ened。Twosharplittlefistsbegantobeatonhisface。
  Whentheschoolteacherhadrunawayandlefthimalone,hewalkedupanddowntheofficeswearingfuriously。
  ItwasintothisconfusionthattheReverendCurtisHartmanprotrudedhimself。WhenhecameinGeorgeWillardthoughtthetownhadgonemad。
  Shakingableedingfistintheair,theministerpro-
  claimedthewomanGeorgehadonlyamomentbe-
  foreheldinhisarmsaninstrumentofGodbearingamessageoftruth。
  Georgeblewoutthelampbythewindowandlockingthedooroftheprintshopwenthome。
  Throughthehoteloffice,pastHopHigginslostinhisdreamoftheraisingofferrets,hewentandupintohisownroom。Thefireinthestovehadgoneoutandheundressedinthecold。Whenhegotintobedthesheetswerelikeblanketsofdrysnow。
  GeorgeWillardrolledaboutinthebedonwhichhadlainintheafternoonhuggingthepillowandthinkingthoughtsofKateSwift。Thewordsoftheminister,whohethoughthadgonesuddenlyin-
  sane,ranginhisears。Hiseyesstaredabouttheroom。Theresentment,naturaltothebaffledmale,passedandhetriedtounderstandwhathadhap-
  pened。Hecouldnotmakeitout。Overandoverheturnedthematterinhismind。Hourspassedandhebegantothinkitmustbetimeforanotherdaytocome。Atfouro'clockhepulledthecoversupabouthisneckandtriedtosleep。Whenhebecamedrowsyandclosedhiseyes,heraisedahandandwithitgropedaboutinthedarkness。"Ihavemissedsome-
  thing。IhavemissedsomethingKateSwiftwastry-
  ingtotellme,"hemutteredsleepily。ThenhesleptandinallWinesburghewasthelastsoulonthatwinternighttogotosleep。
  LONELINESS
  HEWASTHEsonofMrs。AlRobinsonwhoonceownedafarmonasideroadleadingoffTrunionPike,eastofWinesburgandtwomilesbeyondthetownlimits。Thefarmhousewaspaintedbrownandtheblindstoallofthewindowsfacingtheroadwerekeptclosed。Intheroadbeforethehouseaflockofchickens,accompaniedbytwoguineahens,layinthedeepdust。EnochlivedinthehousewithhismotherinthosedaysandwhenhewasayoungboywenttoschoolattheWinesburgHighSchool。Oldcitizensrememberedhimasaquiet,smilingyouthinclinedtosilence。Hewalkedinthemiddleoftheroadwhenhecameintotownandsometimesreadabook。Driversofteamshadtoshoutandsweartomakehimrealizewherehewassothathewouldturnoutofthebeatentrackandletthempass。
  Whenhewastwenty-oneyearsoldEnochwenttoNewYorkCityandwasacitymanforfifteenyears。HestudiedFrenchandwenttoanartschool,hopingtodevelopafacultyhehadfordrawing。InhisownmindheplannedtogotoParisandtofinishhisarteducationamongthemastersthere,butthatneverturnedout。
  NothingeverturnedoutforEnochRobinson。Hecoulddrawwellenoughandhehadmanyodddeli-
  catethoughtshiddenawayinhisbrainthatmighthaveexpressedthemselvesthroughthebrushofapainter,buthewasalwaysachildandthatwasahandicaptohisworldlydevelopment。Henevergrewupandofcoursehecouldn'tunderstandpeo-
  pleandhecouldn'tmakepeopleunderstandhim。
  Thechildinhimkeptbumpingagainstthings,againstactualitieslikemoneyandsexandopinions。
  Oncehewashitbyastreetcarandthrownagainstanironpost。Thatmadehimlame。ItwasoneofthemanythingsthatkeptthingsfromturningoutforEnochRobinsonInNewYorkCity,whenhefirstwenttheretoliveandbeforehebecameconfusedanddisconcertedbythefactsoflife,Enochwentaboutagooddealwithyoungmen。Hegotintoagroupofotheryoungartists,bothmenandwomen,andintheeveningstheysometimescametovisithiminhisroom。Oncehegotdrunkandwastakentoapolicestationwhereapolicemagistratefrightenedhimhorribly,andoncehetriedtohaveanaffairwithawomanofthetownmetonthesidewalkbeforehislodginghouse。ThewomanandEnochwalkedtogetherthreeblocksandthentheyoungmangrewafraidandranaway。Thewomanhadbeendrinkingandtheincidentamusedher。Sheleanedagainstthewallofabuildingandlaughedsoheartilythatanothermanstoppedandlaughedwithher。Thetwowentawaytogether,stilllaughing,andEnochcreptofftohisroomtremblingandvexed。
  TheroominwhichyoungRobinsonlivedinNewYorkfacedWashingtonSquareandwaslongandnarrowlikeahallway。Itisimportanttogetthatfixedinyourmind。ThestoryofEnochisinfactthestoryofaroomalmostmorethanitisthestoryofaman。