Itmatterslittlewhetherourmastersstooptostatethematterintheformthateveryprisonshouldbeaschool；orinthemorecandidformthateveryschoolshouldbeaprison。Theyhavealreadyfulfilledtheirservileprincipleinthecaseoftheschools。EveryonegoestotheElementarySchoolsexceptthefewpeoplewhotellthemtogothere。I
　　prophesythatunlessourrevoltsucceedsnearlyeveryonewillbegoingtoPrison，withapreciselysimilarpatience。
　　VIII。THELASHFORLABOUR
　　IfIweretoprophesythattwohundredyearshenceagrocerwouldhavetherightandhabitofbeatingthegrocer'sassistantwithastick，orthatshopgirlsmightbeflogged，astheyalreadycanbefined，manywouldregarditasratherarashremark。Itwouldbearashremark。Prophecyisalwaysunreliable；unlessweexceptthekindwhichisavowedlyirrational，mysticalandsupernaturalprophecy。Butrelativelytonearlyalltheotherpropheciesthatarebeingmadearoundmeto-day，Ishouldsaymypredictionstoodanexceptionallygoodchance。Inshort，IthinkthegrocerwiththestickisafigurewearefarmorelikelytoseethantheSupermanortheSamurai，ortheTrueModelEmployer，orthePerfectFabianOfficial，orthecitizenoftheCollectivistState。AnditisbestforustoseethefulluglinessofthetransformationwhichispassingoverourSocietyinsomesuchabruptandevengrotesqueimageattheendofit。Thebeginningsofadecline，ineveryageofhistory，havealwayshadtheappearanceofbeingreforms。NeronotonlyfiddledwhileRomewasburning，butheprobablyreallypaidmoreattentiontothefiddlethantothefire。TheRoiSoleil，likemanyothersoleils，wasmostsplendidtoallappearancealittlebeforesunset。AndifIaskmyselfwhatwillbetheultimateandfinalfruitofalloursocialreforms，gardencities，modelemployers，insurances，exchanges，arbitrationcourts，andsoon，then，Isay，quiteseriously，"Ithinkitwillbelabourunderthelash。"
　　TheSultanandtheSackLetusarrangeinsomeorderanumberofconvergingconsiderationsthatallpointinthisdirection。1Itisbroadlytrue，nodoubt，thattheweaponoftheemployerhashithertobeenthethreatofdismissal，thatis，thethreatofenforcedstarvation。HeisaSultanwhoneednotorderthebastinado，solongashecanorderthesack。Buttherearenotafewsignsthatthisweaponisnotquitesoconvenientandflexibleaoneashisincreasingrapacitiesrequire。Thefactoftheintroductionoffines，secretlyoropenly，inmanyshopsandfactories，provesthatitisconvenientforthecapitaliststohavesometemporaryandadjustableformofpunishmentbesidesthefinalpunishmentofpureruin。Norisitdifficulttoseethecommonsenseofthisfromtheirwhollyinhumanpointofview。Theactofsackingamanisattendedwiththesamedisadvantagesastheactofshootingaman:oneofwhichisthatyoucangetnomoreoutofhim。Itis，Iamtold，distinctlyannoyingtoblowafellowcreature'sbrainsoutwitharevolverandthensuddenlyrememberthathewastheonlypersonwhoknewwheretogetthebestRussiancigarettes。SoourSultan，whoistheordererofthesack，isalsothebearerofthebow-string。A
　　schoolinwhichtherewasnopunishment，exceptexpulsion，wouldbeaschoolinwhichitwouldbeverydifficulttokeepproperdiscipline；andthesortofdisciplineonwhichthereformedcapitalismwillinsistwillbeallofthetypewhichinfreenationsisimposedonlyonchildren。
　　Suchaschoolwouldprobablybeinachronicconditionofbreakingupfortheholidays。Andthereasonsfortheinsufficiencyofthisextremeinstrumentarealsovariedandevident。ThematerialisticSociologists，whotalkaboutthesurvivalofthefittestandtheweakestgoingtothewallandwhosewayoflookingattheworldistoputonthelatestandmostpowerfulscientificspectacles，andthenshuttheireyes，frequentlytalkasifaworkmanweresimplyefficientornon-efficient，asifacriminalwerereclaimableorirreclaimable。Theemployershavesenseenoughatleasttoknowbetterthanthat。Theycanseethataservantmaybeusefulinonewayandexasperatinginanother；thathemaybebadinonepartofhisworkandgoodinanother；thathemaybeoccasionallydrunkandyetgenerallyindispensable。Justasapracticalschool-masterwouldknowthataschoolboycanbeatoncetheplagueandtheprideoftheschool。Underthesecircumstancessmallandvaryingpenaltiesareobviouslythemostconvenientthingsforthepersonkeepingorder；anunderlingcanbepunishedforcominglate，andyetdousefulworkwhenhecomes。Itwillbepossibletogivearapovertheknuckleswithoutwhollycuttingofftherighthandthathasoffended。Underthesecircumstancestheemployershavenaturallyresortedtofines。Butthereisafurthergroundforbelievingthattheprocesswillgobeyondfinesbeforeitiscompleted。
　　2ThefineisbasedontheoldEuropeanideathateverybodypossessesprivatepropertyinsomereasonabledegree；butnotonlyisthisnottrueto-day，butitisnotbeingmadeanytruer，evenbythosewhohonestlybelievethattheyaremendingmatters。Thegreatemployerswilloftendosomethingtowardsimprovingwhattheycallthe"conditions"oftheirworkers；butaworkermighthavehisconditionsascarefullyarrangedasaracehorsehas，andstillhavenomorepersonalpropertythanaracehorse。
　　Ifyoutakeanaveragepoorseamstressorfactorygirl，youwillfindthatthepowerofchastisingherthroughherpropertyhasveryconsiderablelimits；itisalmostashardfortheemployeroflabourtotaxherforpunishmentasitisfortheChancelloroftheExchequertotaxherforrevenue。Thenextmostobviousthingtothinkof，ofcourse，wouldbeimprisonment，andthatmightbeeffectiveenoughundersimplerconditions。
　　Anold-fashionedshopkeepermighthavelockeduphisapprenticeinhiscoal-cellar；buthiscoal-cellarwouldbeareal，pitchdarkcoal-cellar，andtherestofhishousewouldbearealhumanhouse。Everybodyespeciallytheapprenticewouldseeamostperceptibledifferencebetweenthetwo。But，asIpointedoutinthearticlebeforethis，thewholetendencyofthecapitalistlegislationandexperimentistomakeimprisonmentmuchmoregeneralandautomatic，whilemakingit，orprofessingtomakeit，morehumane。Inotherwords，thehygienicprisonandtheservilefactorywillbecomesouncommonlylikeeachotherthatthepoormanwillhardlyknoworcarewhetherheisatthemomentexpiatinganoffenceormerelyswellingadividend。Inbothplacestherewillbethesamesortofshinytiles。Inneitherplacewilltherebeanycellsounwholesomeasacoal-cellarorsowholesomeasahome。Theweaponoftheprison，therefore，liketheweaponofthefine，willbefoundtohaveconsiderablelimitationstoitseffectivenesswhenemployedagainstthewretchedreducedcitizenofourday。Whetheritbepropertyorlibertyyoucannottakefromhimwhathehasnotgot。Youcannotimprisonaslave，becauseyoucannotenslaveaslave。
　　TheBarbarousRevival3Mostpeople，onhearingthesuggestionthatitmaycometocorporalpunishmentatlastasitdidineveryslavesystemIeverheardof，includingsomethatweregenerallykindly，andevensuccessful，willmerelybestruckwithhorrorandincredulity，andfeelthatsuchabarbarousrevivalisunthinkableinthemodernatmosphere。Howfaritwillbe，orneedbe，arevivaloftheactualimagesandmethodsofrudertimesIwilldiscussinamoment。Butfirst，asanotheroftheconverginglinestendingtocorporalpunishment，considerthis:thatforsomereasonorothertheoldfull-bloodedandmasculinehumanitarianisminthismatterhasweakenedandfallensilent；ithasweakenedandfallensilentinaverycuriousmanner，theprecisereasonforwhichIdonotaltogetherunderstand。IknewtheaverageLiberal，theaverageNonconformistminister，theaverageLabourMember，theaveragemiddle-classSocialist，were，withalltheirgoodqualities，verydeficientinwhatIconsiderarespectforthehumansoul。ButIdidimaginethattheyhadtheordinarymodernrespectforthehumanbody。Thefact，however，isclearandincontrovertible。Inspiteofthehorrorofallhumanepeople，inspiteofthehesitationevenofourcorruptandpanic-strickenParliament，measurescannowbetriumphantlypassedforspreadingorincreasingtheuseofphysicaltorture，andforapplyingittothenewestandvaguestcategoriesofcrime。Thirtyorfortyyearsago，nay，twentyyearsago，whenMr。F。HughO'DonnellandothersforcedaLiberalGovernmenttodropthecat-'o-nine-tailslikeascorpion，wecouldhavecountedonamassofhonesthatredofsuchthings。Wecannotcountonitnow。
　　4Butlastly，itisnotnecessarythatinthefactoriesofthefuturetheinstitutionofphysicalpunishmentshouldactuallyremindpeopleofthejambokortheknout。Itcouldeasilybedevelopedoutofthemanyformsofphysicaldisciplinewhicharealreadyusedbyemployersontheexcusesofeducationorhygiene。Alreadyinsomefactoriesgirlsareobligedtoswimwhethertheylikeitornot，ordogymnasticswhethertheylikeitornot。ByasimpleextensionofhoursorcomplicationofexercisesapairofSwedishclubscouldeasilybesousedastoleavetheirvictimasexhaustedasonewhohadcomeofftherack。Ithinkitextremelylikelythattheywillbe。
　　IX。THEMASKOFSOCIALISM
　　ThechiefaimofallhonestSocialistsjustnowistopreventthecomingofSocialism。Idonotsayitasasneer，but，onthecontrary，asacompliment；acomplimenttotheirpoliticalinstinctandpublicspirit。I
　　admititmaybecalledanexaggeration；buttherereallyisasortofshamSocialismthatthemodrnpoliticiansmayquitepossiblyagreetosetup；
　　iftheydosucceedinsettingitup，thebattleforthepoorislost。
　　Wemustnote，firstofall，ageneraltruthaboutthecurioustimewelivein。ItwillnotbesodifficultassomepeoplemaysupposetomaketheServileStatelookratherlikeSocialism，especiallytothemorepedantickindofSocialist。Thereasonisthis。TheoldlucidandtrenchantexpounderofSocialism，suchasBlatchfordorFredHenderson，alwaysdescribestheeconomicpoweroftheplutocratsasconsistinginprivateproperty。Ofcourse，inasense，thisisquitetrue；thoughtheytoooftenmissthepointthatprivateproperty，assuch，isnotthesameaspropertyconfinedtothefew。Butthetruthisthatthesituationhasgrownmuchmoresubtle；perhapstoosubtle，nottosaytooinsane，forstraight-thinkingtheoristslikeBlatchford。Therichmanto-daydoesnotonlyrulebyusingprivateproperty；healsorulesbytreatingpublicpropertyasifitwereprivateproperty。AmanlikeLordMurraypulledthestrings，especiallythepursestrings；butthewholepointofhispositionwasthatallsortsofstringshadgotentangled。Thesecretstrengthofthemoneyhehelddidnotliemerelyinthefactthatitwashismoney。Itlaypreciselyinthefactthatnobodyhadanyclearideaofwhetheritwashismoney，orhissuccessor'smoney，orhisbrother'smoney，ortheMarconiCompany'smoney，ortheLiberalParty'smoney，ortheEnglishNation'smoney。Itwasburiedtreasure；butitwasnotprivateproperty。Itwastheacmeofplutocracybecauseitwasnotprivateproperty。Now，byfollowingthisprecedent，thisunprincipledvaguenessaboutofficialandunofficialmoneysbythecheerfulhabitofalwaysmixingupthemoneyinthepocketwiththemoneyinthetill，itwouldbequitepossibletokeeptherichasrichaseverinpractice，thoughtheymighthavesufferedconfiscationintheory。Mr。LloydGeorgehasfourhundredayearasanM。P。；buthenotonlygetsmuchmoreasaMinister，buthemightatanytimegetimmeasurablymorebyspeculatingonStatesecretsthatarenecessarilyknowntohim。Somesaythathehasevenattemptedsomethingofthekind。Now，itwouldbequitepossibletocutMr。Georgedown，nottofourhundredayear，buttofourpenceaday；andstillleavehimalltheseotherandenormousfinancialsuperiorities。ItmustberememberedthataSocialistState，inanywayresemblingamodernState，must，howeveregalitarianitmaybe，havethehandlingofhugesums，andtheenjoymentoflargeconveniences；itisnotimprobablethatthesamemenwillhandleandenjoyinmuchthesamemanner，thoughintheorytheyaredoingitasinstruments，andnotasindividuals。Forinstance，thePrimeMinisterhasaprivatehouse，whichisalsoIgrievetoinformthateminentPuritanapublichouse。ItissupposedtobeasortofGovernmentoffice；thoughpeopledonotgenerallygivechildren'sparties，orgotobedinaGovernmentoffice。IdonotknowwhereMr。HerbertSamuellives；butIhavenodoubthedoeshimselfwellinthematterofdecorationandfurniture。OntheexistingofficialparallelthereisnoneedtomoveanyofthesethingsinordertoSocialisethem。Thereisnoneedtowithdrawonediamond-headednailfromthecarpet；oronegoldenteaspoonfromthetray。Itisonlynecessarytocallitanofficialresidence，like10Downing-street。IthinkitisnotatallimprobablethatthisPlutocracy，pretendingtobeaBureaucracy，willbeattemptedorachieved。Ourwealthyrulerswillbeinthepositionwhichgrumblersintheworldofsportsometimesattributetosomeofthe"gentlemen"players。
　　Theyassertthatsomeofthesearepaidlikeanyprofessional；onlytheirpayiscalledtheirexpenses。Thissystemmightrunsidebysidewithatheoryofequalwages，asabsoluteasthatoncelaiddownbyMr。BernardShaw。BythetheoryoftheState，Mr。HerbertSamuelandMr。LloydGeorgemightbehumblecitizens，drudgingfortheirfourpenceaday；andnobetteroffthanportersandcoal-heavers。IftherewerepresentedtoourmeresenseswhatappearedtobetheformofMr。HerbertSamuelinanastrakhancoatandamotor-car，weshouldfindtherecordoftheexpenditureifwecouldfinditatallundertheheadingof"SpeedLimitExtensionEnquiryCommission。"IfitfelltoourlottobeholdwiththeeyeoffleshwhatseemedtobeMr。LloydGeorgelyinginahammockandsmokingacostlycigar，weshouldknowthattheexpenditurewouldbedividedbetweenthe"ConditionofRopeandNettingInvestigationDepartment，"andthe"StateofCubanTobaccoTrade:ImperialInspector'sReport。"
　　SuchisthesocietyIthinktheywillbuildunlesswecanknockitdownasfastastheybuildit。Everythinginit，tolerableorintolerable，willhavebutoneuse；andthatusewhatourancestorsusedtocallusanceorusury。Itsartmaybegoodorbad，butitwillbeanadvertisementforusurers；itsliteraturemaybegoodorbad，butitwillappealtothepatronageofusurers；itsscientificselectionwillselectaccordingtotheneedsofusurers；itsreligionwillbejustcharitableenoughtopardonusurers；itspenalsystemwillbejustcruelenoughtocrushallthecriticsofusurers:thetruthofitwillbeSlavery:andthetitleofitmayquitepossiblybeSocialism。
　　THEESCAPE
　　Wewatchedyoubuilding，stonebystone，Thewell-washedcellsandwell-washedgravesWeshallinhabitbutnotownWhenBritonsevershallbeslaves；
　　Thewater'swaitinginthetrough，Thetameoatssownareportionedfree，ThereisEnough，andjustEnough，Andallisreadynowbutwe。
　　Butyouhavenotcaughtusyet，mylords，Youhaveusstilltoget。
　　Asorryarmyyou'dhavegot，Itsflagsareragsthatfloatandrot，Itsdrumsareemptypanandpot，Itsbaggageis——anemptycot；
　　Butyouhavenotcaughtusyet。
　　Alittle；andwemighthaveslippedWhencameyourrumoursandyoursalesAndthefoiledrichmen，feeble-lipped，Saidandunsaidtheirsorrytales；
　　GreatGod!ItneedsabolderbrowTokeeptensheepinsideapen，Andwearesheepnolongernow；
　　YouarebutMasters。WeareMen。
　　Wegiveyouallgoodthanks，mylords，Webuyateasyprice；
　　Thanksforthethousandsthatyoustole，Thebribesbywire，thebetsoncoal，TheknowledgeofthatnakedwholeThathathdeliveredourfleshandsoulOutofyourParadise。
　　Wehadheldsafeyourparks；butwhenMentauntedyouwithbribeandfee，WeonlysawtheLordofMenGrinlikeanApeandclimbatree；
　　AndhumblyhadwestoodwithoutYourprincelybarns；didwenotseeInpointedfacespeeringoutWhatRatsnowownthegranary。
　　Itistoolate，toolate，mylords，Wegiveyoubackyourgrace:
　　YoucannotwithallcajolingMakethewetditch，orwindsthatsting，Lostpride，orthepawnedweddingrings，OrdrinkorDeathablackerthingThanasmileuponyourface。
　　THENEWRAID
　　Thetwokindsofsocialreform，oneofwhichmightconceivablyfreeusatlastwhiletheotherwouldcertainlyenslaveusforever，areexhibitedinaneasyworkingmodelinthetwoeffortsthathavebeenmadeforthesoldiers'wives——Imeantheefforttoincreasetheirallowanceandtheefforttocurtailtheirallegeddrinking。Inthepreliminaryconsideration，atanyrate，wemustseethesecondquestionasquitedetachedfromourownsympathiesonthespecialsubjectoffermentedliquor。Itcouldbeappliedtoanyotherpleasureorornamentoflife；itwillbeappliedtoeveryotherpleasureandornamentoflifeiftheCapitalistcampaigncansucceed。Theargumentweknow；butitcannotbetoooftenmadeclear。Anemployer，letussay，paysaseamstresstwopenceaday，andshedoesnotseemtothriveonit。Solittle，perhaps，doesshethriveonitthattheemployerhasevensomedifficultyinthrivinguponher。Thereareonlytwothingsthathecando，andthedistinctionbetweenthemcutsthewholesocialandpoliticalworldintwo。Itisatouchstonebywhichwecan——notsometimes，butalways——distinguisheconomicequalityfromservilesocialreform。Hecangivethegirlsomemagnificentsum，suchassixpenceaday，todoasshelikeswith，andtrustthatherimprovedhealthandtemperwillworkforthebenefitofhisbusiness。Orhemaykeephertotheoriginalsumofashillingaweek，butearmarkeachofthepenniestobeusedornottobeusedforaparticularpurpose。Ifshemustnotspendthispennyonabunchofviolets，orthatpennyonanovelette，ortheotherpennyonatoyforsomebaby，itispossiblethatshewillconcentrateherexpendituremoreuponphysicalnecessities，andsobecome，fromtheemployer'spointofview，amoreefficientperson。Withoutthetroubleofaddingtwopencetoherwages，hehasaddedtwopenny-worthtoherfood。Inshort，shehastheholysatisfactionofbeingworthmorewithoutbeingpaidmore。
　　ThisCapitalistisaningeniousperson，andhasmanypolishedcharacteristics；butIthinkthemostsingularthingabouthimishisstaggeringlackofshame。Neitherthehourofdeathnorthedayofreckoning，neitherthetentofexilenorthehouseofmourning，neitherchivalrynorpatriotism，neitherwomanhoodnorwidowhood，issafeatthissuprememomentfromhisdirtylittleexpedientofdietingtheslave。Assimilarbullies，whentheycollecttheslumrents，putafootintheopendoor，thesearealwaysreadytopushinamuddywedgewhereverthereisaslitinasunderedhouseholdoracrackinabrokenheart。Toamanofanymanhoodnothingcanbeconceivedmoreloathsomeandsacrilegiousthanevensomuchasaskingwhetherawomanwhohasgivenupallshelovedtodeathandthefatherlandhasorhasnotshownsomeweaknessinherseekingforself-comfort。IknownotinwhichofthetwocasesIshouldcountmyselfthebaserforinquiring——acasewherethechargewasfalseoracasewhereitwastrue。ButthephilanthropicemployerofthesortI
　　describeisnotamanofanymanhood；inasenseheisnotamanatall。
　　Heshowssomeconsciousnessofthefactwhenhecallshisworkers"men"asdistinctfrommasters。Hecannotcomprehendthegallantryofcostermongersorthedelicacythatisquitecommonamongcabmen。Hefindsthissocialreformbyhalf-rationsonthewholetohismercantileprofit，anditwillbehardtogethimtothinkofanythingelse。
　　Buttherearepeopleassistinghim，peopleliketheDuchessofMarlborough，whoknownottheirrighthandfromtheirleft，andtothesewemaylegitimatelyaddressourremonstranceandaresumeofsomeofthefactstheydonotknow。TheDuchessofMarlboroughis，Ibelieve，anAmerican，andthisseparatesherfromtheprobleminaspecialway，becausethedrinkquestioninAmericaisentirelydifferentfromthedrinkquestioninEngland。ButIwishtheDuchessofMarlboroughwouldpinupinherprivatestudy，sidebysidewiththeDeclarationofIndependence，adocumentrecordingthefollowingsimpletruths:1Beer，whichislargelydrunkinpublic-houses，isnotaspiritoragrogoracocktailoradrug。
　　ItisthecommonEnglishliquidforquenchingthethirst；itissostillamonginnumerablegentlemen，and，untilverylately，wassoamonginnumerableladies。MostofusrememberdamesofthelastgenerationwhosemannerswerefitforVersailles，andwhodrankaleorStoutasamatterofcourse。Schoolboysdrankaleasamatterofcourse，andtheirschoolmastersgaveittothemasamatterofcourse。Totellapoorwomanthatshemustnothaveanyuntilhalfthedayisoverissimplycracked，liketellingadogorachildthathemustnothavewater。2Thepublic-houseisnotasecretrendezvousofbadcharacters。Itistheopenandobviousplaceforacertainpurpose，whichallmenusedforthatpurposeuntiltherichbegantobesnobsandthepoortobecomeslaves。
　　OnemightaswellwarnpeopleagainstWillesdenJunction。3Manypoorpeopleliveinhouseswheretheycannot，withoutgreatpreparation，offerhospitality。4Theclimateofthesepicturesqueislandsdoesnotfavourconductinglongconversationswithone'soldestfriendsonanironseatinthepark。5Halfpastelevena。m。isnotearlyinthedayforawomanwhogetsupbeforesix。6ThebodiesandmindsofthesewomenbelongtoGodandtothemselves。
　　THENEWNAME
　　Somethinghascomeintoourcommunity，whichisstrongenoughtosaveourcommunity；butwhichhasnotyetgotaname。LetnoonefancyIconfessanyunrealitywhenIconfessthenamelessness。ThemoralitycalledPuritanism，thetendencycalledLiberalism，thereactioncalledToryDemocracy，hadnotonlylongbeenpowerful，buthadpracticallydonemostoftheirwork，beforetheseactualnameswereattachedtothem。
　　Nevertheless，Ithinkitwouldbeagoodthingtohavesomeportableandpracticablewayofreferringtothosewhothinkaswedoinourmainconcern。Whichis，thatmeninEnglandareruled，atthisminutebytheclock，bybruteswhorefusethembread，byliarswhorefusethemnews，andbyfoolswhocannotgovern，andthereforewishtoenslave。
　　LetmeexplainfirstwhyIamnotsatisfiedwiththewordcommonlyused，WhichIhaveoftenusedmyself；andwhich，insomecontexts，isquitetherightwordtouse。Imeantheword"rebel。"PassingoverthefactthatmanywhounderstandthejusticeofourcauseasagreatmanyattheUniversitieswouldstillusetheword"rebel"initsoldandstrictsenseasmeaningonlyadisturberofjustrule。Ipasstoamuchmorepracticalpoint。Theword"rebel"understatesourcause。Itismuchtoomild；itletsourenemiesoffmuchtooeasily。ThereisatraditioninallwesternlifeandlettersofPrometheusdefyingthestars，ofmanatwarwiththeUniverse，anddreamingwhatnaturehadneverdaredtodream。Allthisisvaluableinitsplaceandproportion。Butithasnothingwhatevertodowithourease；orratheritverymuchweakensit。Theplutocratswillbeonlytoopleasedifweprofesstopreachanewmorality；fortheyknowjollywellthattheyhavebrokentheoldone。Theywillbeonlytoopleasedtobeabletosaythatwe，byourownconfession，aremerelyrestlessandnegative；thatweareonlywhatwecallrebelsandtheycallcranks。Butitisnottrue；andwemustnotconcedeittothemforamoment。ThemodelmillionaireismoreofacrankthantheSocialists；
　　justasNerowasmoreofacrankthantheChristians。Andavaricehasgonemadinthegoverningclassto-day，justaslustwentmadinthecircleofNero。Byalltheworkingandorthodoxstandardsofsanity，capitalismisinsane。IshouldnotsaytoMr。Rockefeller"Iamarebel。"
　　Ishouldsay"Iamarespectableman:andyouarenot。"
　　OurLawlessEnemiesButthevitalpointisthattheconfessionofmererebellionsoftensthestartlinglawlessnessofourenemies。Supposeapublisher'sclerkpolitelyaskedhisemployerforariseinhissalary；and，onbeingrefused，saidhemustleavetheemploymont？Supposetheemployerknockedhimdownwitharuler，tiedhimupasabrownpaperparcel，addressedhiminafinebusinesshandtotheGovernorofRioJaneiroandthenaskedthepolicemantopromisenevertoarresthimforwhathehaddone？Thatisaprecisecopy，ineverylegalandmoralprinciple，ofthe"deportationofthestrikers。"Theywereassaultedandkidnappedfornotacceptingacontract，andfornothingelse；andtheactwassoavowedlycriminalthatthelawhadtobealteredafterwardstocoverthecrime。Nowsupposesomepostalofficial，betweenhereandRioJaneiro，hadnoticedafaintkickinginsidethebrownpaperparcel，andhadattemptedtoascertainthecause。Andsupposetheclerkcouldonlyexplain，inamuffledvoicethroughthebrownpaper，thathewasbyconstitutionandtemperamentaRebel。Don'tyouseethathewouldberatherunderstatinghiscase？
　　Don'tyouseehewouldbebearinghisinjuriesmuchtoomeekly？Theymighttakehimoutoftheparcel；buttheywouldverypossiblyputhimintoamad-houseinstead。Symbolicallyspeaking，thatiswhattheywouldliketodowithus。Symbolicallyspeaking，thedirtymiserswhoruleuswillputusinamad-house——unlesswecanputthemthere。
　　Orsupposeabankcashierwereadmittedlyallowedtotakethemoneyoutofthetill，andputitlooseinhispocket，moreorlessmixedupwithhisownmoney；afterwardslayingsomeofbothatdifferentoddson"BlueMurder"fortheDerby。Supposewhensomedepositoraskedmildlywhatdaytheaccountantscame，hesmotethatastonishedinquireronthenose，crying:"Slanderer!Mud-slinger!"andsupposehethenresignedhisposition。Supposenobookswereshown。Supposewhenthenewcashiercametobeinitiatedintohisduties，theoldcashierdidnottellhimaboutthemoney，butconfidedittothehonouranddelicacyofhisownmaidenauntatCricklewood。SupposehethenwentoffinayachttovisitthewhalefisheriesoftheNorthSea。Well，ineverymoralandlegalprinciple，thatisapreciseaccountofthedealingswiththePartyFunds。
　　Butwhatwouldthebankersay？Whatwouldtheclientssay？Onething，I
　　think，Icanventuretopromise；thebankerwouldnotmarchupanddowntheofficeexclaiminginrapture，"I'marebel!That'swhatIam，arebel!"
　　Andifhesaidtothefirstindignantdepositor"Youarearebel，"I
　　fearthedepositormightanswer，"Youarearobber。"Wehavenoneedtoelaborateargumentsforbreakingthelaw。Thecapitalistshavebrokenthelaw。Wehavenoneedoffurthermoralities。Theyhavebrokentheirownmorality。Itisasifyouweretorundownthestreetshouting，"Communism!Communism!Share!Share!"afteramanwhohadrunawaywithyourwatch。
　　Wewantatermthatwilltelleverybodythatthereis，bythecommonstandard，frankfraudandcrueltypushedtotheirfierceextreme；andthatwearefightingTHEM。Wearenotinastateof"divinediscontent"；weareinanentirelyhumanandentirelyreasonablerage。Wesaywehavebeenswindledandoppressed，andwearequitereadyandabletoproveitbeforeanytribunalthatallowsustocallaswindleraswindler。Itistheprotectionofthepresentsystemthatmostofitstribunalsdonot。I
　　cannotatthemomentthinkofanypartynamethatwouldparticularlydistinguishusfromourmorepowerfulandprosperousopponents，unlessitwerethenametheoldJacobitesgavethemselves；theHonestParty。
　　CapturedOurStandardsIthinkitisplainthatforthepurposeoffacingthesenewandinfamousmodernfacts，wecannot，withanysafety，dependonanyoftheoldnineteenthcenturynames；Socialist，orCommunist，orRadical，orLiberal，orLabour。Theyareallhonourablenames；theyallstand，orstood，forthingsinwhichwemaystillbelieve；wecanstillapplythemtootherproblems；butnottothisone。Wehavenolongeramonopolyofthesenames。LetitbeunderstoodthatIamnotspeakinghereofthephilosophicalproblemoftheirmeaning，butofthepracticalproblemoftheiruse。WhenIcalledmyselfaRadicalIknewMr。BalfourwouldnotcallhimselfaRadical；thereforetherewassomeuseintheword。WhenI
　　calledmyselfaSocialistIknewLordPenrhynwouldnotcallhimselfaSocialist；thereforetherewassomeuseintheword。Butthecapitalists，inthataggressivemarchwhichisthemainfactofourtime，havecapturedourstandards，bothinthemilitaryandphilosophicsenseoftheword。
　　Anditisuselessforustomarchundercolourswhichtheycancarryaswellaswe。
　　DoyoubelieveinDemocracy？Thedevilsalsobelieveandtremble。DoyoubelieveinTradesUnionism？TheLabourMembersalsobelieve；andtremblelikeafallingteetotum。DoyoubelieveintheState？TheSamuelsalsobelieve，andgrin。DoyoubelieveinthecentralisationofEmpire？SodidBeit。DoyoubelieveinthedecentralisationofEmpire？SodoesAlbu。
　　Doyoubelieveinthebrotherhoodofmen:anddoyou，dearbrethren，believethatBrotherArthurHendersondoesnot？Doyoucry，"Theworldfortheworkers!"anddoyouimaginePhilipSnowdenwouldnot？Whatweneedisanamethatshalldeclare，notthatthemoderntreasonandtyrannyarebad，butthattheyarequiteliterally，intolerable:andthatwemeantoactaccordingly。Ireallythink"theLimits"wouldbeasgoodanameasany。But，anyhow，somethingisbornamongusthatisasstrongasaninfantHercules:anditispartofmyprejudicestowantitchristened。I
　　advertiseforgodfathersandgodmothers。
　　AWORKMAN'SHISTORYOFENGLAND
　　Athingwhichdoesnotexistandwhichisverymuchwantedis"A
　　Working-Man'sHistoryofEngland。"Idonotmeanahistorywrittenforworkingmentherearewholedustbinsofthem，Imeanahistory，writtenbyworkingmenorfromtheworkingmen'sstandpoint。Iwishfivegenerationsofafisher'soraminer'sfamilycouldincarnatethemselvesinonemanandtellthestory。
　　ItisimpossibletoignorealtogetheranycommentcomingfromsoeminentaliteraryartistasMr。LaurenceHousman，butIdonotdealheresospeciallywithhiswellknownconvictionaboutVotesforWomen，aswithanotherideawhichis，Ithink，ratheratthebackofit，ifnotwithhimatleastwithothers；andwhichconcernsthismatterofthetruestoryofEngland。Forthetruestoryissoentirelydifferentfromthefalseofficialstorythattheofficialclassestellthatbythistimetheworkingclassitselfhaslargelyforgottenitsownexperience。EitherstorycanbequitelogicallylinkedupwithFemaleSuffrage，which，therefore，Ileavewhereitisforthemoment；merelyconfessingthat，solongaswegetholdoftherightstoryandnotthewrongstory，itseemstomeamatterofsecondaryimportancewhetherwelinkitupwithFemaleSuffrageornot。
　　NowtheordinaryversionofrecentEnglishhistorythatmostmoderatelyeducatedpeoplehaveabsorbedfromchildhoodissomethinglikethis。Thatweemergedslowlyfromasemi-barbarisminwhichallthepowerandwealthwereinthehandsofKingsandafewnobles；thattheKing'spowerwasbrokenfirstandtheninduetimethatofthenobles，thatthispiece-mealimprovementwasbroughtaboutbyoneclassafteranotherwakinguptoasenseofcitizenshipanddemandingaplaceinthenationalcouncils，frequentlybyriotorviolence；andthatinconsequenceofsuchmenacingpopularaction，thefranchisewasgrantedtooneclassafteranotherandusedmoreandmoretoimprovethesocialconditionsofthoseclasses，untilwepracticallybecameademocracy，saveforsuchexceptionsasthatofthewomen。Idonotthinkanyonewilldenythatsomethinglikethatisthegeneralideaoftheeducatedmanwhoreadsanewspaperandofthenewspaperthathereads。Thatistheviewcurrentatpublicschoolsandcolleges；itispartofthecultureofalltheclassesthatcountformuchingovernment；andthereisnotonewordoftruthinitfrombeginningtoend。
　　ThatGreatReformBillWealthandpoliticalpowerwereverymuchmorepopularlydistributedintheMiddleAgesthantheyarenow；butwewillpassallthatandconsiderrecenthistory。ThefranchisehasneverbeenlargelyandliberallygrantedinEngland；halfthemaleshavenovoteandarenotlikelytogetone。Itwas_never_grantedinreplytopressurefromawakenedsectionsofthedemocracy；ineverycasetherewasaperfectlyclearmotiveforgrantingitsolelyfortheconvenienceofthearistocrats。TheGreatReformBillwasnotpassedinresponsetosuchriotsasthatwhichdestroyedaCastle；nordidthemenwhodestroyedtheCastlegetanyadvantagewhateveroutoftheGreatReformBill。TheGreatReformBillwaspassedinordertosealanalliancebetweenthelandedaristocratsandtherichmanufacturersofthenorthanalliancethatrulesusstill；andthechiefobjectofthatalliancewasto_prevent_theEnglishpopulacegettinganypoliticalpowerinthegeneralexcitementaftertheFrenchRevolution。NoonecanreadMacaulay'sspeechontheChartists，forinstance，andnotseethatthisisso。Disraeli'sfurtherextensionofthesuffragewasnoteffectedbytheintellectualvivacityandpurerepublicantheoryofthemid-Victorianagriculturallabourer；itwaseffectedbyapoliticianwhosawanopportunitytodishtheWhigs，andguessedthatcertainorthodoxiesinthemoreprosperousartisanmightyetgivehimabalanceagainstthecommercialRadicals。Andwhilethisverythingameofwire-pullingwiththemereabstractionofthevotewasbeingworkedentirelybytheoligarchsandentirelyintheirinterests，thesolidandrealthingthatwasgoingonwasthesteadydespoilingofthepoorofallpowerorwealth，untiltheyfindthemselvesto-dayuponthethresholdofslavery。ThatisTheWorkingMan'sHistoryofEngland。
　　Now，asIhavesaid，Icarecomparativelylittlewhatisdonewiththemerevotingpartofthematter，solongasitisnotcloneinsuchawayastoallowtheplutocrattoescapehisresponsibilityforhiscrimes，bypretendingtobemuchmoreprogressive，ormuchmoresusceptibletopopularprotest，thanheeverhasbeen。Andthereisthisdangerinmanyofthosewhohaveansweredme。Oneofthem，forinstance，saysthatwomenhavebeenforcedintotheirpresentindustrialsituationsbythesameironeconomiclawsthathavecompelledmen。Isaythatmenhavenotbeencompelledbyironeconomiclaws，butinthemainbythecoarseandChristlesscynicismofothermen。But，ofcourse，thiswayoftalkingisexactlyinaccordancewiththefashionableandofficialversionofEnglishhistory。Thus，youwillreadthatthemonasteries，placeswheremenofthepoorestorigincouldbepowerful，grewcorruptandgraduallydecayed。
　　Oryouwillreadthatthemediaevalguildsoffreeworkmenyieldedatlasttoaninevitableeconomiclaw。Youwillreadthis；andyouwillbereadinglies。TheymightaswellsaythatJuliusCaesargraduallydecayedatthefootofPompey'sstatue。YoumightaswellsaythatAbrahamLincolnyieldedatlasttoaninevitableeconomiclaw。Thefreemediaevalguildsdidnotdecay；theyweremurdered。Solidmenwithsolidgunsandhalberds，armedwithlawfulwarrantsfromlivingstatesmenbrokeuptheircorporationsandtookawaytheirhardcashfromthem？InthesamewaythepeopleinCradleyHeatharenomorevictimsofanecessaryeconomiclawthanthepeopleinPutumayo。Theyarevictimsofaveryterriblecreature，ofwhosesinsmuchhasbeensaidsincethebeginningoftheworld；andofwhomitwassaidofold，"LetusfallintothehandsofGod，forHismerciesaregreat；butletusnotfallintothehandsofMan。"
　　TheCapitalistIsintheDockNowitisthisofferingofafalseeconomicexcuseforthesweaterthatisthedangerinperpetuallysayingthatthepoorwomanwillusethevoteandthatthepoormanhasnotusedit。Thepoormanispreventedfromusingit；preventedbytherichman，andthepoorwomanwouldbepreventedinexactlythesamegrossandstringentstyle。Idonotdeny，ofcourse，thatthereissomethingintheEnglishtemperament，andintheheritageofthelastfewcenturiesthatmakestheEnglishworkmanmoretolerantofwrongthanmostforeignworkmenwouldbe。Butthisonlyslightlymodifiesthemainfactofthemoralresponsibility。Totakeanimperfectparallel，ifwesaidthatnegroslaveswouldhaverebelledifnegroeshadbeenmoreintelligent，weshouldbesayingwhatisreasonable。Butifweweretosaythatitcouldbyanypossibilityberepresentedasbeingthenegro'sfaultthathewasatthatmomentinAmericaandnotinAfrica，weshouldbesayingwhatisfranklyunreasonable。ItiseverybitasunreasonabletosaythemeresupinenessoftheEnglishworkmenhasputtheminthecapitalistslave-yard。Thecapitalisthasputtheminthecapitalistslaveyard；andverycunningsmithshavehammeredthechains。Itisjustthiscreativecriminalityintheauthorsofthesystemthatwemustnotallowtobeslurredover。Thecapitalistisinthedockto-day；andsofarasIatleastcanpreventhim，heshallnotgetoutofit。
　　THEFRENCHREVOLUTIONANDTHEIRISH
　　ItwillbelongbeforethepoisonofthePartySystemisworkedoutofthebodypolitic。Someofitsmostindirecteffectsarethemostdangerous。
　　Onethatisverydangerousjustnowisthis:thatformostEnglishmenthePartySystemfalsifieshistory，andespeciallythehistoryofrevolutions。
　　Itfalsifieshistorybecauseitsimplifieshistory。ItpaintseverythingeitherBlueorBuffinthestyleofitsownsillycircuspolitics:whilearealrevolutionhasasmanycoloursasthesunrise——ortheendoftheworld。Andifwedonotgetridofthiserrorweshallmakeverybadblundersabouttherealrevolutionwhichseemstogrowmoreandmoreprobable，especiallyamongtheIrish。Andanyhumanfamiliaritywithhistorywillteachamanthisfirstofall:thatPartypracticallydoesnotexistinarealrevolution。Itisagameforquiettimes。
　　IfyoutakeaboywhohasbeentooneofthosebigprivateschoolswhicharefalselycalledthePublicSchools，andanotherboywhohasbeentooneofthoselargepublicschoolswhicharefalselycalledtheBoardSchools，youwillfindsomedifferencesbetweenthetwo，chieflyadifferenceinthemanagementofthevoice。ButyouwillfindtheyarebothEnglishinaspecialway，andthattheireducationhasbeenessentiallythesame。Theyareignorantonthesamesubjects。Theyhaveneverheardofthesameplainfacts。Theyhavebeentaughtthewronganswertothesameconfusingquestion。ThereisonefundamentalelementintheattitudeoftheEtonmastertalkingabout"playingthegame，"andtheelementaryteachertraininggutter-snipestosing，"WhatistheMeaningofEmpireDay？"Andthenameofthatelementis"unhistoric。"ItknowsnothingreallyaboutEngland，stilllessaboutIrelandorFrance，and，leastofall，ofcourse，aboutanythingliketheFrenchRevolution。
　　RevolutionbySnapDivisionNowwhatgeneralnotiondoestheordinaryEnglishboy，thustaughttoutteroneignoranceinoneoftwoaccents，getandkeepthroughlifeabouttheFrenchRevolution？ItisthenotionoftheEnglishHouseofCommonswithanenormousRadicalmajorityononesideofthetableandasmallToryminorityontheother；themajorityvotingsolidforaRepublic，theminorityvotingsolidforaMonarchy；twoteamstrampingthroughtwolobbieswithnodifferencebetweentheirmethodsandours，exceptthatowingtosomehabitpeculiartoGaulthebriefintervalswerebrightenedbyariotoramassacre，insteadofbyawhiskyandsodaandaMarconitip。
　　Novelsaremuchmorereliablethanhistoriesinsuchmatters。ForthoughanEnglishnovelaboutFrancedoesnottellthetruthaboutFrance，itdoestellthetruthaboutEngland；andmorethanhalfthehistoriesnevertellthetruthaboutanything。Andpopularfiction，Ithink，bearswitnesstothegeneralEnglishimpression。TheFrenchRevolutionisasnapdivisionwithanunusualturnoverofvotes。Ontheonesidestandakingandqueenwhoaregoodbutweak，surroundedbynobleswithrapiersdrawn；someofwhomaregood，manyofwhomarewicked，allofwhomaregood-looking。Againstthesethereisaformlessmobofhumanbeings，wearingredcapsandseeminglyinsane，whoallblindlyfollowruffianswhoarealsorhetoricians；someofwhomdierepentantandothersunrepentanttowardstheendofthefourthact。TheleadersofthisboilingmassofallmenmeltedintoonearecalledMirabeau，Robespierre，Danton，Marat，andsoon。Anditisconcededthattheirunitedfrenzymayhavebeenforcedonthembytheevilsoftheoldregime。
　　That，Ithink，isthecommonestEnglishviewoftheFrenchRevolution；anditwillnotsurvivethereadingoftwopagesofanyrealspeechorletteroftheperiod。Thesehumanbeingswerehuman；varied，complexandinconsistent。ButtherichEnglishman，ignorantofrevolutions，wouldhardlybelieveyouifyoutoldhimsomeofthecommonhumansubtletiesofthecase。TellhimthatRobespierrethrewtheredcapinthedirtindisgust，whilethekinghadwornitwithabroadgrin，sotospeak；tellhimthatDanton，thefiercefounderoftheRepublicoftheTerror，saidquitesincerelytoanoble，"Iammoremonarchistthanyou；"tellhimthattheTerrorreallyseemstohavebeenbroughttoanendchieflybytheeffortsofpeoplewhoparticularlywantedtogoonwithit——andhewillnotbelievethesethings。Hewillnotbelievethembecausehehasnohumility，andthereforenorealism。Hehasneverbeeninsidehimself；andsocouldneverbeinsideanotherman。ThetruthisthatintheFrenchaffaireverybodyoccupiedanindividualposition。Everymantalkedsincerely，ifnotbecausehewassincere，thenbecausehewasangry。
　　RobespierretalkedevenmoreaboutGodthanabouttheRepublicbecausehecaredevenmoreaboutGodthanabouttheRepublic。DantontalkedevenmoreaboutFrancethanabouttheRepublicbecausehecaredevenmoreaboutFrancethanabouttheRepublic。MarattalkedmoreaboutHumanitythaneither，becausethatphysicianthoughhimselfsomewhatneedingaphysicianreallycaredaboutit。Thenoblesweredivided，eachmanfromthenext。Theattitudeofthekingwasquitedifferentfromtheattitudeofthequeen；certainlymuchmoredifferentthananydifferencesbetweenourLiberalsandToriesforthelasttwentyyears。Anditwillsadden_some_ofmyfriendstorememberthatitwasthekingwhowastheLiberalandthequeenwhowastheTory。Therewerenottwopeople，Ithink，inthatmostpracticalcrisiswhostoodinpreciselythesameattitudetowardsthesituation。Andthatiswhy，betweenthem，theysavedEurope。
　　Itiswhenyoureallyperceivetheunityofmankindthatyoureallyperceiveitsvariety。Itisnotaflippancy，itisaverysacredtruth，tosaythatwhenmenreallyunderstandthattheyarebrotherstheyinstantlybegintofight。
　　TheRevivalofRealityNowthesethingsarerepeatingthemselveswithanenormousrealityintheIrishRevolution。YouwillnotbeabletomakeaPartySystemoutofthematter。Everybodyisinrevolt；thereforeeverybodyistellingthetruth。
　　TheNationalistswillgooncaringmostforthenation，asDantonandthedefendersofthefrontierwentoncaringmostforthenation。Thepriestswillgooncaringmostforreligion，asRobespierrewentoncaringmostforreliggion。TheSocialistswillgooncaringmostforthecureofphysicalsuffering，asMaratwentoncaringmostforit。Itisoutoftheserealdifferencesthatrealthingscanbemade，suchasthemodernFrenchdemocracy。Forbysuchtenacityeveryoneseesatlastthatthereissomethingintheotherperson'sposition。Andthosedrilledinpartydisciplineseenothingeitherpastorpresent。AndwherethereisnothingthereisSatan。
　　Foralongtimepastinourpoliticstherehasnotonlybeennorealbattle，butnorealbargain。NotwomenhavebargainedasGladstoneandParnellbargained——eachknowingtheothertobeapower。Butinrealrevolutionsmendiscoverthatnoonemancanreallyagreewithanothermanuntilhehasdisagreedwithhim。
　　LIBERALISM:ASAMPLE
　　ThereisacertaindailypaperinEnglandtowardswhichIfeelverymuchasTomPinchfelttowardsMr。Pecksniffimmediatelyafterhehadfoundhimout。ThewaruponDickenswaspartofthegeneralwaronalldemocrats，abouttheeightiesandnineties，whichusheredinthebrazenplutocracyofto-day。AndoneofthethingsthatitwasfashionabletosayofDickensindrawing-roomswasthathehadnosubtlety，andcouldnotdescribeacomplexframeofmind。Likemostotherthingsthataresaidindrawing-rooms，itwasalie。Dickenswasaveryunequalwriter，andhissuccessesalternatewithhisfailures；buthissuccessesaresubtlequiteasoftenastheyaresimple。Thus，totake"MartinChuzzlewit"alone，I
　　shouldcallthejokeabouttheLordNo-zooasimplejoke:butIshouldcallthejokeaboutMrs。Todgers'svisionofawoodenlegasubtlejoke。