"Oh，dear，dear，dear!Becausethatiswhereeverydaughtergoesintrouble。Ishould——she_has。_Fancyyounotseeingthat——why，FannyDoverwouldhavetoldyouthatmuchinamoment。Butnowyouwillhavetothank_my_motherforteachingmeAttention，theparentofMemory。Pray，sir，whowerethewitnessestothatabominablemarriageofhers?"
　　"Iremembertwo，BaronHompesch——"
　　"No，CountHompesch。"
　　"AndCountMeurice。"
　　"Viscount。What，haveyouforgottenHerrFormes，FrauleinGraafe，ZugtheCapellmeister，andherverymother?Comenow，whosedaughterisshe?"
　　"Iforget，I'msure。"
　　"WalterFerrisandEvaKlosking，ofZutzig，inDenmark。Pack——startforCopenhagen。Consultanordnancemapthere。FindoutZutzig。GotoZutzig，andyouhavegother。Itissomeholeinawilderness，andshecan'tescape。"
　　"Youcleverlittleangel!I'llbethereinthreedays。DoyoureallythinkIshallsucceed?"
　　"Yourownfaultifyoudon't。Shehasrunintoa_cul-de-sac_throughbeingtooclever；and，besides，womensometimesrunawayjusttobecaught，andhideonpurposetobefound。Ishouldnotwonderifshehassaidtoherself，'Hewillfindmeifhelovesmesovery，verymuch——I'lltryhim。'"
　　"Notawordmore，angelicfox，"saidVizard；"I'mofftoZutzig。"
　　Hewentoutonfire。Sheopenedthewindowandscreechedafterhim，"Everythingisfairafterherbehaviortome。Takeherabookofthosespiritualsongssheissofondof。'Johnnycomesmarchinghome，'isworththelot，Ireckon。"
　　AwaywentVizard；foundCopenhagenwithease；Zutzigwithdifficulty，beingasmallvillage。Butoncethere，hesoonfoundthefarmhouseofEvaKlosking。Hedroveuptothedoor。ADanishlaborercameoutfromthestabledirectly；andabuxomgirl，withpalegoldenhair，openedthedoor。Thesetwoseizedhisluggage，andconveyeditintothehouse，andthehiredvehicletothestable。Vizardthoughtitmustbeaninn。
　　Thegirlbubbledmelodioussounds，andranoffandbroughtasweet，venerablename。VizardrecognizedEvaKloskingatonce。Theoldladysaid，"Fewstrangerscomehere——areyounotEnglish?"
　　"Yes，madam。"
　　"ItisMr。Vizard——isitnot?"
　　"Yes，madam。"
　　"Ah，sir，mydaughterwillwelcomeyou，butnotmoreheartilythanIdo。
　　Mychildhastoldmeallsheowestoyou"——theninDanish，"Godblessthehouryoucomeunderthisroof。"
　　Vizard'sheartbeattumultuously，wonderinghowInaKloskingwouldreceivehim。Theservanthadtoldheratallstrangerwascome。Sheknewinamomentwhoitwas；soshehadtheadvantageofbeingprepared。
　　Shecametohim，hercheeksdyedwithblushes，andgavehimbothhands。
　　"Youhere!"saidshe；"oh，happyday!Mother，hemusthavethesouthchamber。Iwillgoandprepareitforhim。Tecla!——Tecla!"——andshewasallhostess。Shecommittedhimtohermother，whilesheandtheservantwentupstairs。
　　Hefeltdiscomfitedalittle。Hewantedtoknow，allinamoment，whethershewouldlovehim。
　　However，Danishhospitalityhasitsgoodside。Hesoonfoundouthemightlivetherestofhisdaysthereifhechose。
　　Hesoongotheralone，andsaid，"YouknewIshouldfindyou，cruelone。"
　　"HowcouldIdreamofsuchathing?"saidshe，blushing。
　　"Oh，Loveisadetective。Yousaidtoyourself，'IfhelovesmeasI
　　oughttobeloved，hewillsearchEuropeforme；buthewillfindme。'"
　　"Oh，thenitwasnottobeatpeaceandrestonmymother'sbosomIcamehere；itwastogiveyouthetroubleofrunningafterme。Oh，fie!"
　　"Youareright。Iamavainfool。"
　　"No，thatyouarenot。Afterall，howdoIknowallthatwasinmyheart?
　　Ahem!Besureofthis，youareverywelcome。Imustgoandseeaboutyourdinner。"
　　InthatDanishfarmhouselifewasveryprimitive。EvaKlosking，andbothherdaughters，helpedthetwofemaleservants，ordirectedthem，ineverydepartment。SoIna，whowasonherdefense，hadmanyexcusesforescapingVizard，whenhepressedhertoohotly。Butatlastshewasobligedtosay，"Oh，pray，myfriend——weareinDenmark:herewidowsareexpectedtobediscreet。"
　　"ButthatisnoreasonwhytheEnglishfellowswhoadorethemshouldbediscreet。"
　　"Perhapsnot:butthentheDanishladyrunsaway。"
　　Whichshedid。
　　But，afterthebustleofthefirstday，hehadsomanyopportunities。Hewalkedwithher，satwithherwhilesheworked，andhungoverher，entranced，whileshesung。HeproducedthebookfromVizardCourtwithoutwarning，andshescreamedwithdelightatsightofit，andcaughthishandinbothhersandkissedit。Shereveledinthosesweetstrainswhichhadcomfortedherinaffliction:andoh，theeyessheturnedonhimaftersinginganysonginthisparticularbook!Thosetenderglancesthrilledhimtotheverymarrow。
　　Totellthehonesttruth，hisarrivalwasagodsendtoInaKlosking。Whenshefirstcamehometohernativeplace，andlaidherheadonhermother'sbosom，shewasinElysium。Thehouse，thewoodfires，thecooingdoves，thebleatingcalves，theprimitivelife，therecollectionsofchildhood——allwerebalmtoher，andshefeltlikeendingherdaysthere。
　　But，asthedaysrolledon，cameasenseofmonotonyandexcessivetranquillity。Shewasonthevergeof_ennui_whenVizardbrokeinuponher。
　　Fromthatmomenttherewasnostagnation。Hemadelifeverypleasanttoher；onlyherdelicacytookthealarmathisopendeclarations；shethoughtthemsopremature。
　　Atlasthesaidtoher，oneday，"IbegintofearyouwillneverlovemeasIloveyou。"
　　"Whoknows?"saidshe。"Timeworkswonders。"
　　"Iwonder，"saidhe，"whetheryouwillevermarryanyotherman?"
　　Inawasshockedatthat。"Oh，myfriend，howcouldI——unless，"saidshe，withaslyside-glance，"youconsented。"
　　"Consent?I'dmassacrehim。"
　　Inaturnedtowardhim。"Youaskedmyhandatatimewhenyouthoughtme——Idon'tknowwhatyouthought——thatisathingnowomancouldforget。
　　Andnowyouhavecomeallthiswayforme。Iamyours，ifyoucanwaitforme。"
　　Hecaughtherinhisarms。Shedisengagedherself，gently，andherhandrestedanunnecessarymomentonhisshoulder。"Isthathowyouunderstand'waiting?'"saidshe，withablush，butanindulgentsmile。
　　"Whatistheusewaiting?"
　　"Itisamatterofpropriety。"
　　"Howlongarewetowait?"
　　"Onlyafewmonths。Myfriend，itislikeaboytobetooimpatient。
　　Alas!wouldyoumarrymeinmywidow'scap?"
　　"OfcourseIwould。Now，Ina，love，awidowwhohasbeentwoyearsseparatedfromherhusband!"
　　"Certainly，thatmakesadifference——inone'sownmind。Butonemustrespecttheopinionoftheworld。Dearfriend，itisofyouIthink，thoughIspeakofmyself。"
　　"Youareanangel。Takeyourowntime。Afterall，whatdoesitmatter?I
　　don'tleaveZutzigwithoutyou。"
　　Ina'spinktintandsparklingeyesbetrayedanythingbuthorroratthatinsaneresolution。However，shefeltitherdutytosaythatitwasunfortunatesheshouldalwaysbethepersontodistracthimfromhishomeduties。
　　"Oh，nevermindthem，"saidthissingle-heartedlover。"IhaveappointedMissGaleviceroy。"
　　However，onedayhehadaletterfromZoe，tellinghimthatLordUxmoorwasnowurginghertonametheday；butshehaddeclinedtodothat，notknowingwhenitmightsuithimtobeatVizardCourt。"But，dearest，"
　　saidshe，"mind，youarenottohurryhomeforme。IamveryhappyasI
　　am，andIhopeyouwillsoonbeashappy，love。Sheisanoblewoman。"
　　ThelatterpartofthislettertemptedVizardtoshowittoIna。Hesoonfoundhismistake。Shekissedit，andorderedhimoff。Heremonstrated。
　　Sheputon，forthefirsttimeinDenmark，hermarblelook，andsaid，"Youwilllessenmyesteem，ifyouarecrueltoyoursister。Lethernamethewedding-dayatonce；andyoumustbetheretogiveheraway，andblessherunion，withabrother'slove。"
　　Hesubmitted，butalittlesullenly，andsaiditwasveryhard。
　　Hewrotetohissister，accordingly，andshenamedtheday，andVizardsettledtostartforhome，andbeintime。
　　Astotheproprieties，hehadinstructedMissMaitlandandFannyDover，andgiventhemandLaGale_carteblanche。_Itwastobeamagnificentwedding。
　　Thisbeingexcitement，FannyDoverwasinparadise。Moreover，arosy-cheekedcuratehadtakentheplaceofthevenerablevicar，andMissDover'sthreattoflirtoutthestigmaofanunwasexecutedwithpromptitude，zeal，pertinacity，andthedexteritythatcomesofpractice。
　　WhenthedaycameforhisleavingZutzig，Vizardwasdejected。"Whoknowswhenwemaymeetagain?"saidhe。
　　Inaconsoledhim。"Donotbesad，dearfriend。Youaredoingyourduty；
　　andasyoudoitpartlytopleaseme，Ioughttotryandrewardyou；
　　oughtInot?"Andshegavehimastrangelook。
　　"Iadviseyounottopressthatquestion，"saidhe。
　　Attheveryhourofparting，Ina'seyesweremoistwithtenderness，buttherewasasmileonherfaceveryexpressive；yethecouldnotmakeoutwhatitmeant。Shedidnotcry。Hethoughtthathard。Itwashisopinionthatwomencouldalwayscry。Shemighthavedonetheusualthingjusttogratifyhim。
　　Hereachedhomeingoodtime:andplayedthe_grandseigneur_——nobodycoulddoitbetterwhendriventoit——todohonortohissister。Shewasapeerlessbride:shestoodsuperiorwithebonlocksandcoalblackeyes，encircledbysixbridemaids——allpickedblondes。Thebevy，withthatgloriousfigureinthemiddle，seemedonegloriousandrareflower。
　　Afterthewedding，thebreakfast；andthenthetravelingcarriage；thefourliveriedpostilionsbedeckedwithfavors。
　　ButthebrideweptonVizard'sneck；andalightseemedtoleavethehousewhenshewasgone。Thecarriageskeptdrivingawayoneafteranothertillfouro'clock:andthenVizardsatdisconsolateinhisstudy，andfeltverylonely。
　　Yetathingnobiggerthanaleafsufficedtodriveawaythissombermood，apieceofamber-coloredpaperscribbledonwithapencil:atelegramfromAshmead:"Goodnews:lostsheepturnedup。IsnowwithhermotheratClaridge'sHotel。"
　　ThenVizardwasinraptures。NowheunderstoodIna'scomposure，andthehalfslylookshehadgivenhim，andherdryeyesatparting，andotherthings。HetoreuptoLondondirectly，withatelegramflyingahead:
　　burstinuponher，andhadherinhisarmsinamoment，beforehermother:shefencednolonger，butownedhehadgainedherlove，ashehaddeserveditineveryway。
　　SheconsentedtobemarriedthatweekinLondon:onlysheaskedforaContinentaltourbeforeenteringVizardCourtashiswife；butshedidnotstipulateevenforthat——sheonlyaskeditsubmissively，asonewhosedutyitnowwastoobey，notdictate。
　　TheyweremarriedinSt。George'sChurchveryquietly，byspeciallicense。Thentheysawhermotheroff，andcrossedtoCalais。TheyspenttwohappymonthstogetherontheContinent，andreturnedtoLondon。
　　ButVizardwastooold-fashioned，andtooproudofhiswife，tosneakintoVizardCourtwithher。Hedidnotmakeitacountymatter；buthegavethevillagesucha_fete_ashadnotbeenseenformanyaday。ThepreparationswereintrustedtoMr。Ashmead，atIna'srequest。"Hewillbesuretomakeittheatrical，"shesaid；"butperhapsthesimplevillagerswilladmirethat，anditwillamuseyouandme，love:andthepoordearoldThingwillbeinhisglory——Ihopehewillnotdrinktoomuch。"
　　Ashmeadwasindeedinhisglory。NothinghadbeenseeninaplaythathedidnotelectrifyIslipwith，andthesurroundingvillages。Hepastedlargepostersonwallsandbarndoors，andhissmallbillscurledroundthepatriarchsoftheforestandtheroadsidetrees，andblisteredthegateposts。
　　Thedaycame。Asoapypole，withalegofmuttononhighforthesuccessfulclimber。Racesinsacks。Shortblindfoldraceswithwheelbarrows。Pigwithagreasytail，tobewonbyhimwhocouldcatchhimandshoulderhim，withouttouchinganyotherpartofhim；bowlsoftreaclefortheboystoduckheadsinandfishoutcoins；skittles，ninepins，AuntSally，etc。，etc。，etc。
　　ButwhatastonishedthevillagersmostwasaMay-pole，withlongribbons，aboutwhichballetgirls，undisguisedasHighlanders，danced，andwoundandunwoundtheparty-coloredstreamers，tothemerryfiddle，andthendancedreelsuponaplatform，thenreturnedtotheirlittletent:butoutagainanddancedhornpipesundisguisedasJackyTars。
　　Beerflowedfromasturdyregimentofbarrels。"TheCourt"kitchenandthevillagebakehousekeptpouringforthmeats，baked，boiled，androast；
　　therewasapileofloaveslikeahaystack；andtheyroastedanoxwholeontheGreen；and，whentheyfoundtheywereburninghimraw，theyfetchedthebutcher，likesensiblefellows，anddismemberedthegiant，andsoroastedhimreasonably。
　　Inthemidstoftherevelingandfeasting，VizardandMrs。VizardweredrivenintoIslipvillageinthefamilycoach，withfourhorsesstreamingwithribbons。
　　TheydroveroundtheGreen，bowingandsmilinginanswertotheacclamationsandblessingsofthepoor，andthentoVizardCourt。Thegreatdoorsflewopen。Theservants，maleandfemale，linedthehallonbothsides，andreceivedherbowingandcourtesyinglow，ontheveryspotwhereshehadnearlymetherdeath；herhusbandtookherhandandconductedherinstatetoherownapartment。
　　Itwasopenhousetoallthatjoyfulday，andatnightmagnificentfireworksonthesweep，seenfromthedrawing-roombyMrs。Vizard，MissMaitland，MissGale，MissDover，andtherosy-cheekedcurate，whomshehadtiedtoherapron-strings。
　　Attwointhemorning，Mr。HarrisshowedMr。Ashmeadtohiscouch。Bothgentlemenwentupstairsalittlegraverthananyofourmodernjudges，andfirmasarock；buttheirfirmnessresembledthatofaroofratherthanawall；forthesedignitiesastheywentmadeoneinvertedV——so，A。
　　Itistimethe"Woman-hater"drewtoaclose，forthewoman-haterisspoiled。Hebeginssarcasticspeeches，fromforceofhabit，butstopsshortinthemiddle。Heisaveryhappyman，andowesittoawoman，andknowsit。Headoresher；andtolovewellistobehappy。But，besidesthat，shewatchesoverhishappinessandhisgoodwiththatunobtrusivebutminutevigilancewhichbelongstohersex，andisoftenmisapplied，butnotsoveryoftenascynicssay。Eventhehonestfriendshipbetweenhimandtheremarkablewomanhecallshis"viragos"giveshimmanyapleasanthour。Heisstillahumorist，thoughcuredofhisflingatthefairsex。Hislasttolerablehitwasatthemonosyllabicnamesoftheimmortalcomposershiswifehaddisinterredinhislibrary。SayshetoparsonDenison，hotfromOxford，"TheyremindmeoftheOxfordpoetsinthelastcentury:
　　"AlmanovemcelebresgenuitRhedyeinapoetas。Bubb，Stubb，Grubb，Crabbe，Trappe。Brome，Carey，Tickell，Evans。"
　　AsforInaVizard，LaKloskingnolonger，shehassteppedintohernewplacewithhernativedignity，seemlinessandcomposure。Atfirst，afewcountyladiesputtheirlittleheadstogether，andpreparedtogivethemselvesairs；butthebeauty，dignity，andenchantinggraceofMrs。
　　Vizardsweptthislittlefactionawaylikesmalldust。Herperfectcourtesy，hermildbutdeepdislikeofallfeminineback-biting，herdeadsilenceabouttheabsent，exceptwhenshecanspeakkindly——theseraretraitshaveforced，bydegrees，theesteemandconfidenceofherownsex。
　　Asforthemen，theyacceptedheratoncewithenthusiasm。SheandLadyUxmooraretheacknowledgedbellesofthecounty。LadyUxmoor'sfaceisthemostadmired；butMrs。Vizardcomesnext，andhersatinshoulders，statuesquebustandarms，andexquisitehand，turnthescalewithsome。
　　Butwhenshespeaks，shecharms；andwhenshesings，allcompetitiondies。
　　Sheisfaithfultomusic，andespeciallytosacredmusic。Sheisnotveryfondofsingingatparties，andsometimesgivesoffensebydeclining。
　　Musicsetsfoolstalking，becauseitexcitesthem，andthentheirfollycomesoutbytheroadnaturehasprovided。ButwhenMrs。Vizardhastosinginonekey，andpeopletalkinfiveotherkeys，thatgivesthisartistsuchphysicalpainthatsheoftendeclines，merelytoescapeit。
　　Itdoesnotmuchmortifyhervanity，shehassolittle。
　　Shealwayssingsinchurch，andsingsout，too，whensheisthere；andplaystheharmonium。Shetrainsthevillagers——girls，boysandadults——withuntiringgoodhumorandpatience。
　　Amongherpupilsaretwofinevoices——TomWilder，agrandbass，andtherosy-cheekedcurate，agreaterraritystill，agenuinecounter-tenor。
　　Thesetwocanbothreadmusictolerably；butthecurateusedtosingeverything，howeverfullofjoy，withapatheticwhine，forwhichVizardchaffedhiminvain；butMrs。Vizardpersuadedhimoutofit，whereargumentandsatirefailed。
　　PeoplecomefarandneartohearthehymnsatIslipChurch，sunginfullharmony——trebles，tenors，counter-tenor，andbass。
　　Atrait——sheallowsnothingtobesunginchurchunrehearsed。TherehearsalsareonSaturdaynight，andnevershirked，suchistherespectfor"OurDame。"Tobesure，"OurDame"fillsthestomachsandwetsthewhistlesofherfaithfulchoironSaturdaynights。
　　OnSundaynightsthereareperformancesofsacredmusicinthegreatdining-hall。Butthesearerathermoreambitiousthanthoseinthevillagechurch。Theperformersmeetonthathappyfootingofcamaraderiethefineartscreate，thesuperiorrespectshowntoMrs。Vizardbeingmainlypaidtoherasthegreatermusician。Theyattackanthemsandservices；andatrio，bytheparson，theblacksmith，and"OurDame，"isreallyanextraordinarytreat，owingtothegreatbeautyofthevoices。
　　Itisalsopiquanttohearthefemalesingerconstantlysix，andoftenten，notesbelowthemalecounter-tenor；butthencomesWilderwithhisdiapason，andtheharmonyisnoble；themoresothatMrs。Vizardrehearsesherpupilsintheswell——afiguretoolittlepracticedinmusic，andnowherecarriedoutasshedoesit。
　　OnenighttheorganistofBarfordwasthere。TheysungKent'sserviceinF，andMrs。Vizardstilladmiredit。Sheandtheparsonswelledintheduet，"TobeaLighttolightentheGentiles，"etc。Organistapprovedtheexecution，butsaidthecompositionwasameagerthing，quiteoutofdate。"Wehavemuchfinerthingsnowbylearnedmenoftheday。"
　　"Ah，"saidshe，"bringmeone。"
　　So，nextSunday，hebroughtheralearnedcomposition，andplayedittoher，preliminarytotheirsingingit。Butshedeclineditonthespot。
　　"What!"saidshe。"Mr。X。，wouldyoucomparethismeaninglessstuffwithKentinF?Why，inKent，thedominantsentimentofeachcompositionisadmirablypreserved。His'Magnificat'isloftyjubilation，withafree，onwardrush。His'Dimittis'isdivinereposeafterlife'sfever。Butthispoorpedant's'Magnificat'beginswithamerecrash，andthenfallsintothepathetic——anexcellentthinginitsplace，butnotinasongoftriumph。Astohis'Dimittis，'itsimplydefiesthewords。ThisisnoChristiansunset。ItisnotgoodoldSimeongentlydecliningtohisrest，contenttoclosethoseeyeswhichhadseentheworld'ssalvation。Thisisatempest，andallthewindowsrattling，andthegreatNapoleondying，amidthefuryoftheelements，with'te'ted'arme'e!'onhisdyinglips，and'battle'inhisexpiringsoul。No，sir；ifthelearnedEnglishmenofthisdaycandonothingnearerthemarkthanDOLEFULMAGNIFICATSandSTORMYNUNCDIMITTISES，IshallstandfaithfultopoordeadKent，andhisfellows——theyweremysolaceinsicknessandsoretrouble。"
　　Inaccordancewiththeseviewsofvocalmusic，anddesiroustoexpanditssphere，Mrs。Vizardhasjustofferedhandsomeprizesinthecountyforthebestservice，inwhichthedominantsentimentofthewordsshallbeaswellpreservedasinKent'sdespisedservice；andanotherprizetowhoevercansetanyfamousshortsecularpoem，orpoeticalpassagenotinballadmeter，togoodandappropriatemusic。
　　Thishaselicitedseveralpieces。ThecomposershavetriedtheirhandsonDryden'sOde；onthemeetingofHectorandAndromachePope's"Homer"；
　　ontwoshortpoemsofTennyson；etc。，etc。
　　Butitisonlythebeginningofagoodthing。Thepieces，areunderconsideration。Vizardsaysthecompetitorsaretrifiers。_He_shallsetMr。Arnold'sversionof"HeroandLeander"totheharp，andsingithimself。This，heintimates，willsilencecompetitionandproveanera。I
　　thinksotoo，ifhismusicshould_happen_toequalthelinesinvalue。
　　ButIhardlythinkitwill，becausethesaidVizard，thoughhehastasteandear，doesnotknowonenotefromanother。SoIhope"HeroandLeander"willfallintoablerhands；andinanycase，ItrustMrs。Vizardwillsucceedinherworthydesiretoenlarge，verygreatly，thesphereandthenobilityofvocalmusic。Itisadesireworthyofthisremarkablecharacter，ofwhomInowtakemyleavewithregret。
　　ImustownthatregretiscausedinpartbymyfearthatImaynothavedoneherallthejusticeIdesired。
　　Ihavelongfeltandregrettedthatmanyablefemalewritersaredoingmuchtoperpetuatethepettyvicesofasex，which，afterall，isatpresentbuthalfeducated，bydevotingthreethickvolumestosuchemptywomenasBiography，thoughalowerartthanFiction，wouldnotwastethreepageson。Theypleadtruthandfidelitytonature。"Wewritetheaveragewoman，fortheaveragewomantoread，"saythey。Buttheyarenotconsistent；fortheaveragewomanisunderfivefeet，andratherugly。
　　Nowthesepaltrywomenareallbeautiful——[Greek]，asHomerhathit。
　　FictionhasjustasmuchrighttoselectlargefemalesoulsasBiographyorPaintinghas；andtopickoutaselfish，shallow，illiteratecreature，withnothingbutbeauty，andbestowthreeenormousvolumesonher，istomakeaperverseselection，beautybeing，afterall，rarerinwomenthanwit，sense，andgoodness。Itisasfalseandignobleinart，astomarryaprettyfacewithoutheartandbrainsissillyinconduct。
　　Besides，itgivesthefemale_reader_alowmodelinsteadofahighone，andsodoesheralittleharm；whereasawriteroughttodogood——ortry，atallevents。
　　Havingallthisinmymind，andrememberinghowmanynoblewomenhaveshonelikestarsineveryageandeveryland，andfeelingsurethat，ascivilizationadvances，suchwomenwillbecomefarmorecommon，IhavetriedtolookaheadandpaintLaKlosking。
　　Butsuchportraitureisdifficult。Itislikewritingastatue。
　　"Quimihinoncreditfaciatlicetipsepericlum，Moxfueritstudisaequiorillemeis。"
　　HarringtonVizard，Esq。，caughtMissFannyDoveronthetoproundbutoneofthestepsofhislibrary。Shelookeddown，pinkish，andsaidshewassearchingfor"Tillotson'sSermons。"
　　"Whatonearthcanyouwantofthem?"
　　"Toimprovemymind，tobesure，"saidtheminx。
　　Vizardsaid，"Nowyoustaythere，miss——don'tyoumove；"andhesentforIna。Shecamedirectly，andhesaid，"Thingshavecometoaclimax。Myladyishuntingfor'Tillotson'sSermons。'PoorDenison!"Thatwastherosycurate'sname。
　　"Well，"saidFanny，turningred，"ItoldyouI_should。_WhyshouldIbegoodanylonger?Allthesickarecuredonewayorother，andIammyselfagain。"
　　"Humph!"saidVizard。"Unfortunatelyforyourlittleplansofconduct，theheadsofthisestablishment，herepresent，havesatinsecretcommittee，andyourwingsaretobeclipped——byorderofcouncil。"
　　"La!"saidFanny，pertly。
　　Vizardimposedsilencewithalordlywave。"Itisalaughablething；butthisdivineisinearnest。Hehasrevealedhishopesandfearstome。"
　　"Thenheisagreatbaby，"saidFanny，comingdownthesteps。"No，no；wearebothtoopoor。"Andsheventedalittlesigh。
　　"Notyou。Thevicarhaswrittentovacate。Now，Idon'tlikeyoumuch，becauseyounevermakemelaugh；butI'mawfullyfondofDenison；and，ifyouwillmarrymydearDenison，youshallhavethevicarage；itisafatone。"
　　"Oh，cousin!"
　　"And，"saidMrs。Vizard，"hepermitsmetofurnishitforyou。YouandI
　　willmakeit'abijou。'"
　　Fannykissedthemboth，impetuously:thensaidshewouldhavealittlecry。Nosoonersaidthandone。InduecourseshewasMrs。Denison，andbrokeasolemnvowthatsheneverwouldteachgirlsSt。Matthew。
　　Likecoquettesingeneral，whohavehadtheirflingatthepropertime，shemakesaprettygoodwife；butshehasonefault——sheistoohardupongirlswhoflirt。
　　Mr。Ashmeadflourishes。Besideshisagencyshesometimestreatsforanewpiece，collectsalittlecompany，andtourstheprovincialtheaters。
　　HealwaysplaysthemaweekatTaddington，andwithperfectgravitylosessixpoundspernight。Thenhehasa"bespeak，"VizardorUxmoorturnabout。Thereisalineofcarriages；thesnobscrowdintoseethegentry。Vizardpaystwentypoundsforhisbox，andtakestwentypounds'
　　worthoftickets，and，Josephisinhisglory，andstaysbehindthecompanytogotoIslipChurchnextday，andspendahappynightattheCourt。Afterthathesayshefeels_good_forthreeorfourdays。
　　Mrs。GalenowleasestheHillstokefarmofVizard，anddoesprettywell。
　　Shebreedsagreatmanysheepandcattle。Thehighgroundandshelteringwoodssuitthem。Shemakesalittlemoneyeveryyear，andgetsaverygoodhousefornothing。DoctressGaleisstillalleyes，andnoticeseverything。Shestudieshard，andpracticesalittle。TheytriedtokeepheroutoftheTaddingtoninfirmary；butshewent，almostcrying，toVizard，andheexplodedwithwrath。HeconsultedLordUxmoor，andbetweenthemtheinfirmarywasthreatenedwiththewithdrawalofeightyannualsubscriptionsiftheypersisted。Themanagerscaveddirectly，andDoctressGaleisasteadyvisitor。
　　Afewmothersarecomingtotheirsensesandsendingforhertotheirunmarrieddaughters。Thisisthemainsourceofherprofessionalincome。
　　Shehas，however，takenoneenormousfeefromabonvivant，whoselifeshesavedbyesculents。Shetoldhimatoncehewasbeyondthereachofmedicine，andshecoulddonothingforhimunlesshechosetoliveinherhouse，andeatanddrinkonlywhatsheshouldgivehim。Hehadahorrorofdying，thoughhehadlivedsowell；sohesubmitted，andshedidactuallycurethatoneglutton。Butshesaysshewillneverdoitagain。
　　"Afterfortyyearsofmadedishestheyoughttobecontenttodie；itisbarejustice，"quothRhodaGale，M。D。
　　AnapothecaryinBarfordthreatenedtoindictthisGallicphysician。Buttheothermedicalmendissuadedhim，partlyfromliberality，partlyfromdiscretion:thefinewouldhavebeenpaidbypublicsubscriptiontwentytimesoverandnothinggainedbutobloquy。Thedoctresswouldneverhaveyielded。
　　Shevisits，andprescribes，andlaughsatthelaw，asloveissaidtolaughatlocksmiths。
　　Tobesure，inthiscountry，alawisnolaw，whenithasnofoundationinjustice，morality，orpublicpolicy。
　　Happyinherposition，andinherfriends，shenowreviewspasteventswiththecandorofamindthatlovestruthsincerely。ShewentintoVizard'sstudyoneday，foldedherarms，anddeliveredherselfasfollows:"Iguessthere'ssomethingIoughttosaytoyou。WhenItoldyouaboutourtreatmentatEdinburgh，thewoundstillbled，andIdidnotmeasuremywordsasIought，professingscience。NowIfeelacalltosaythattheEdinburghschoolwas，afterall，moreliberaltousthananyotherinGreatBritainorIreland。Theothersclosedthedoorinourfaces。Thisschoolopenedithalf。Atfirsttherewasaliberalspirit；
　　butthefriendsofjusticegotfrightened，andtheunionistsstronger。Wewereoverpoweredateveryturn。ButwhatIomittedtoimpressonyou，is，thatwhenweweredefeated，itwasalwaysbyverysmallmajorities。Thatwassoevenwiththeopinionsofthejudges，whichhavebeendeliveredsinceItoldyoumytale。Thereweresixjurists，andonlysevenpettifoggers。Itwassoallthrough。Now，forpracticalpurposes，theactofamajorityistheactofabody。Itmustbeso。Itisthewayoftheworld:butwhenanaccuratepersoncomestodescribeabusiness，anddealwiththecharacterofawholeuniversity，sheisnottocallthelargerhalfthewhole，andmakethematterworsethanitwas。Thatisnotscientific。Sciencediscriminates。"
　　Iamnotsorrythedoctressofferedthislittleexplanation；itaccordswithhersobermindandhervenerationoftruth。ButIcouldhavedispensedwithitforone。InBritain，whenwearehurt，wehowl；andthedeuceisinitiftheweakmaynothowlwhenthestrongoverpowerthembytheartsoftheweak。
　　ShouldthatpartofmytalerouseanyhonestsympathywiththisEnglishwomanwhocanlegallyprescribe，consult，andtakefees，inFrance，butnotinEngland，thoughshecouldeclipseatapublicexaminationnine-tenthsofthosewhocan，itmaybeaswelltoinformthemthat，evenwhilehernarrativewasinthepress，ourGovernmentdeclareditwoulddosomethingforthereliefofmedicalwomen，butwouldsleepuponit。
　　Thisis，onthewhole，encouraging。Butstill，wherethereisnostimulusoffactionorpersonalinteresttourgeameasure，butonlysuch"unconsideredtrifles"aspublicjusticeandpublicpolicy，therearealwaystwogreatdangers:1。Thatthesleepmayknownowaking；2。ThataftertoolongasleeptheBritishlegislatormayjumpoutofbedallinahurry，anddotheworkineffectually；fornothingleadsoftenertorecklesshastethanlongdelay。
　　Ihope，then，thatafewofmyinfluentialreaderswillbevigilant，andchallengeafulldiscussionbythewholemindofParliament，sothatnotemporary，pettifogginghalf-measuremayslipintoathinhouse——likeaweaselintoanemptybarn——andsoobstructformanyyearslegislationupondurableprinciple。Thethingliesinanutshell。TheLegislaturehasbeenentrapped。Itneverintendedtooutlawwomeninthematter。Thepersonswhohaveoutlawedthemareallsubjects，andtheenginesofoutlawryhavebeen"certificatesofattendanceonlectures，"and"publicexaminations。"Byclosingthelectureroomandtheexaminationhalltoallwomen——learnedorunlearned——acliquehasoutlawedapopulation，undertheletter，notthespirit，ofabadlywrittenstatute。ButitisforthethreeestatesoftheBritishrealmtoleaveoffscribblingstatutes，andlearntowritethem，andtobridletheegotismofcliques，andrespectthenation。Thepresentformofgovernmentexistsonthatunderstanding，andsomustallformsofgovernmentinEngland。Anditissoeasy。Itonlywantsalittlesinglenessofmindandcommonsense。
　　Yearsagocertificatesofattendanceonvariouslectureswerereasonablydemanded。Theywereaslightpresumptiveevidenceofproficiency，andhadasupplementaryvalue，becausethepublicexaminationsweresolooseandinadequate；butonceestablishastiff，searching，sufficient，incorruptible，publicexamination，andthentohavepassedthatexaminationisnotpresumptive，butdemonstrative，proofofproficiency，andswallowsupallminorandmerelypresumptiveproofs。
　　Thereisnothingmuchstupiderthananachronism。Whatavailcertificatesoflecturesinourday?eithertheknowledgeobtainedatthelecturesenablesthepupiltopassthegreatexamination，oritdoesnot。Ifitdoes，thecertificateissuperfluous；ifitdoesnot，thecertificateisillusory。
　　WhattheBritishlegislator，ifforoncehewouldrisetobealawgiver，shoulddo，andthatquickly，istothrowopenthemedicalschoolstoallpersonsformatriculation。Tothrowopenallhospitalsandinfirmariestomatriculatedstudents，withoutrespectofsex，astheyarealreadyopen，byshamelesspartialityandtransparentgreed，tounmatriculatedwomen，providedtheyconfinetheirambitiontothemostrepulsiveandunfemininepartofmedicine，thenursingofbothsexes，andlayingoutofcorpses。
　　Boththeaboverights，asindependentofsexasothernaturalrights，shouldbeexpresslyprotectedby"mandamus，"and"suitfordamages。"Thelecturerstobecompelledtolecturetomixedclasses，ortogiveseparatelecturestomatriculatedwomenforhalffees，whicheverthoselecturersprefer。Beforethisclausealldifficultieswouldmelt，likehailinthedogdays。，Malemodestyisapurelyimaginaryarticle，setupforatradepurpose，andwillgivewaytojusticethemomentitcoststheproprietorsfiftypercent。Iknowmyownsexfromhairtoheel，andwilltakemyBibleoathof_that。_
　　Oftheforeignmatriculatedstudent，BritishorEuropean，nothingshouldbedemandedhuttheonething，whichmattersonestraw——viz。，infallibleproofsofproficiencyinanatomy，surgery，medicine，anditscollaterals，underpublicexamination。This，whichistheonlyrealsafeguard，andtheonlynecessarysafeguardtothepublic，andtheonlyone_thepublic_
　　ask，shouldheplaced，insomedegree，under_thesurecontrolofGovernment_withoutrespectofcities；andmuchgreatervigilanceexercisedthaneverhasbeenyet。Why，underthesystemwhichexcludeslearnedwomen，maledunceshavebeenpersonatedbyablestudents，andsodiplomasstolenagainandagain。Thestudent，maleorfemale，shouldhavepowertocompeltheexaminers，bymandamusandotherstringentremedies，toexamineatfittimesandseasons。Inallthe_paperwork_oftheseexaminations，thename，andofcoursethesex，ofthestudentshouldheconcealedfromtheexaminers。Thereisaverysimplewayofdoingit。
　　Shouldalawbepassedonthisbroadandsimplebasis，thatlawwillstandimmortal，withpettifoggingactsfallingallaround，accordingtothecustomofthecountry。Thelargerhalfofthepopulationwillnolongerbeunconstitutionallyjuggled，undercoveroflaw，outoftheirrighttotaketheirsecretailmentstoaskilledphysicianoftheirownsex，andcompelledtogo，blushing，writhing，and，afterall，concealingandfibbing，toamalephysician；thepickedfewnolongerrobbedoftheirrighttoscience，reputation，andBread。
　　Thegoodeffectonthewholemindofwomanwouldbeincalculable。Greatprizesofstudyandgeniusofferedtotheablefewhavealwaysasalutaryandwonderfuloperationonthemanywhonevergainthem；itwouldbegreatandgladtidingstoourwholefemaleyouthtosay，"Youneednotbefrivolousidlers；youneednotgivethecoltsfiftyyards'startfortheDerby——Imean，youneednotwastethreehoursoftheshortworkingdayindressingandundressing，andcombingyourhair。Youneednotthrowawaytheveryseed——timeoflifeonmusic，thoughyouareunmusicaltothebackbone；noryetonyourthree"C's——croquet，crochet，andcoquetry:forCivilizationandsoundLawhaveopenedtoyouonegreat，noble，anddifficultprofessionwiththreebranches，twoofwhichNatureintendedyoufor。Thepathisarduous，butflowersgrowbesideit，andtheprizeisgreat。"
　　Isaythatthisprize，andfrequentintercoursewiththosesuperiorwomenwhohavewonit，wouldleaventhewholesexwithhigherviewsoflifethanentertheirheadsatpresent；wouldraisetheirself-respect，andsetthousandsofthemtostudythegreatandnoblethingsthatareinmedicine，andconnectedwithit，insteadofchildishthings。
　　Istherereallyonemanlyheartthatwouldgrudgethisboontoasexwhichisthenurseandbenefactressofeverymaninhistenderandmostprecariousyears?
　　Realizethehardconditionofwomen。Amongbarbarianstheirlotisunmixedmisery；withustheirconditionisbetter，butnotwhatitoughttobe，becausewearebuthalfcivilized，andsotheirlotisstillveryunhappycomparedwithours。
　　Andwearesounreasonable。Wemencannotgostraighttenyardswithout_rewards_aswellaspunishments。Yetwecouldgovernourwomenbypunishmentsalone。Theyareeternallytemptedtofolly，yetsnubbedthemomenttheywouldbewise。Amillionshopsspreadtheirnets，andenticethembytheirdirestfoible。Theirverymothers——forwantofmedicalknowledgeinthesex——claspthefatal，idioticcorsetontheirgrowingbodies，thoughthinasalath。Sothegirlgrowsup，crippledintheribsandlungsbyherownmother；andherlife，too，isinstays——cabined，cribbed，confined:unlessshecanpaint，oract，orwritenovels，everypathofhonorableambitionisclosedtoher。Wetreatheraswedoourprivatesoldiers——thelash，butnopromotion；andourprivatesoldiersarethescumofEuropeforthatveryreason，andnoother。
　　Isaythattoopenthestudyandpracticeofmedicinetowomenfolk，undertheinfalliblesafeguardofastiffpublicexamination，willbetoriseinrespectforhumanrightstothelevelofEuropeannations，whodonotbragaboutjustfreedomhalfasloudaswedo，andtorespecttheconstitutionalrightsofmanymillioncitizens，whoallpaythetaxeslikemen，and，bythecontractwiththeStateimpliedinthatpayment，buytheclearhumanrighttheyhaveyettogodownontheirkneesfor。Itwillalsoimportintomedicalscienceanewandlesstheoretical，butcautious，teachable，observantkindofintellect；itwillgivethelargerhalfofthenationanhonorableambition，andanhonorablepursuit，towardwhichtheirheartsandinstinctsarebentbyNatureherself；itwilltendtoelevatethiswholesex，anditsyoungchildren，maleaswellasfemale，andsowilladvancethecivilizationoftheworld，whichinagespast，inourownday，andinalltime，hath，anddoth，andwill，keepstepexactlywiththeprogressofwomentowardmentalequalitywithmen。