MynameisLykins。I'moneoftheteachersofthehighschool——SanFrancisco。AssoonasIheardtheSanFranciscopostmastershipwasvacant，Imadeupmymindtogetit——andhereIam。"
　　"Yes，"saidRiley，slowly，"asyouhaveremarked……
　　Mr。Lykins……hereyouare。Andhaveyougotit?"
　　"Well，notexactlyGOTit，butthenextthingtoit。
　　I'vebroughtapetition，signedbytheSuperintendentofPublicInstruction，andalltheteachers，andbymorethantwohundredotherpeople。NowIwantyou，ifyou'llbesogood，togoaroundwithmetothePacificdelegation，forIwanttorushthisthingthroughandgetalonghome。"
　　"Ifthematterissopressing，youwillpreferthatwevisitthedelegationtonight，"saidRiley，inavoicewhichhadnothingmockinginit——toanunaccustomedear。
　　"Oh，tonight，byallmeans!Ihaven'tgotanytimetofoolaround。IwanttheirpromisebeforeIgotobed——
　　Iain'tthetalkingkind，I'mtheDOINGkind!"
　　"Yes……you'vecometotherightplaceforthat。
　　Whendidyouarrive?"
　　"Justanhourago。"
　　"Whenareyouintendingtoleave?"
　　"ForNewYorktomorrowevening——forSanFrancisconextmorning。"
　　"Justso……Whatareyougoingtodotomorrow?"
　　"DO!Why，I'vegottogotothePresidentwiththepetitionandthedelegation，andgettheappointment，haven'tI?"
　　"Yes……verytrue……thatiscorrect。Andthenwhat?"
　　"ExecutivesessionoftheSenateat2P。M——gottogettheappointmentconfirmed——Ireckonyou'llgrantthat?"
　　"Yes……yes，"saidRiley，meditatively，"youarerightagain。ThenyoutakethetrainforNewYorkintheevening，andthesteamerforSanFrancisconextmorning?"
　　"That'sit——that'sthewayImapitout!"
　　Rileyconsideredawhile，andthensaid:
　　"Youcouldn'tstay……aday……well，saytwodayslonger?"
　　"Blessyoursoul，no!It'snotmystyle。Iain'tamantogofoolingaround——I'mamanthatDOESthings，Itellyou。"
　　Thestormwasraging，thethicksnowblowingingusts。
　　Rileystoodsilent，apparentlydeepinareverie，duringaminuteormore，thenhelookedupandsaid:
　　"HaveyoueverheardaboutthatmanwhoputupatGadsby's，once?……ButIseeyouhaven't。"
　　HebackedMr。Lykinsagainstanironfence，buttonholedhim，fastenedhimwithhiseye，liketheAncientMariner，andproceededtounfoldhisnarrativeasplacidlyandpeacefullyasifwewereallstretchedcomfortablyinablossomysummermeadowinsteadofbeingpersecutedbyawintrymidnighttempest:
　　"Iwilltellyouaboutthatman。ItwasinJackson'stime。
　　Gadsby'swastheprincipalhotel，then。Well，thismanarrivedfromTennesseeaboutnineo'clock，onemorning，withablackcoachmanandasplendidfour-horsecarriageandanelegantdog，whichhewasevidentlyfondofandproudof；
　　hedroveupbeforeGadsby's，andtheclerkandthelandlordandeverybodyrushedouttotakechargeofhim，buthesaid，'Nevermind，'andjumpedoutandtoldthecoachmantowait——saidhehadn'ttimetotakeanythingtoeat，heonlyhadalittleclaimagainstthegovernmenttocollect，wouldrunacrosstheway，totheTreasury，andfetchthemoney，andthengetrightalongbacktoTennessee，forhewasinconsiderableofahurry。
　　"Well，abouteleveno'clockthatnighthecamebackandorderedabedandtoldthemtoputthehorsesup——saidhewouldcollecttheclaiminthemorning。
　　ThiswasinJanuary，youunderstand——January，1834——
　　the3dofJanuary——Wednesday。
　　"Well，onthe5thofFebruary，hesoldthefinecarriage，andboughtacheapsecond-handone——saiditwouldanswerjustaswelltotakethemoneyhomein，andhedidn'tcareforstyle。
　　"Onthe11thofAugusthesoldapairofthefinehorses——
　　saidhe'doftenthoughtapairwasbetterthanfour，togoovertheroughmountainroadswithwhereabodyhadtobecarefulabouthisdriving——andtherewasn'tsomuchofhisclaimbuthecouldlugthemoneyhomewithapaireasyenough。
　　"Onthe13thofDecemberhesoldanotherhorse——saidtwowarn'tnecessarytodragthatoldlightvehiclewith——infact，onecouldsnatchitalongfasterthanwasabsolutelynecessary，nowthatitwasgoodsolidwinterweatherandtheroadsinsplendidcondition。
　　"Onthe17thofFebruary，1835，hesoldtheoldcarriageandboughtacheapsecond-handbuggy——saidabuggywasjustthetricktoskimalongmushy，slushyearlyspringroadswith，andhehadalwayswantedtotryabuggyonthosemountainroads，anyway。
　　"Onthe1stAugusthesoldthebuggyandboughttheremainsofanoldsulky——saidhejustwantedtoseethosegreenTennesseansstareandgawkwhentheysawhimcomea-rippingalonginasulky——didn'tbelievethey'deverheardofasulkyintheirlives。
　　"Well，onthe29thofAugusthesoldhiscoloredcoachman——saidhedidn'tneedacoachmanforasulky——
　　wouldn'tberoomenoughfortwoinitanyway——and，besides，itwasn'teverydaythatProvidencesentamanafoolwhowaswillingtopayninehundreddollarsforsuchathird-ratenegroasthat——beenwantingtogetridofthecreatureforyears，butdidn'tliketoTHROWhimaway。
　　"Eighteenmonthslater——thatistosay，onthe15thofFebruary，1837——hesoldthesulkyandboughtasaddle——saidhorseback-ridingwaswhatthedoctorhadalwaysrecommendedHIMtotake，anddog'difhewantedtoriskHISneckgoingoverthosemountainroadsonwheelsinthedeadofwinter，notifheknewhimself。
　　"Onthe9thofAprilhesoldthesaddle——saidhewasn'tgoingtoriskHISlifewithanyperishablesaddle-girththateverwasmade，overarainy，miryAprilroad，whilehecouldridebarebackandknowandfeelhewassafe——alwaysHADdespisedtorideonasaddle，anyway。
　　"Onthe24thofAprilhesoldhishorse——said'I'mjustfifty-seventoday，haleandhearty——itwouldbeaPRETTY
　　howdy-doformetobewastingsuchatripasthatandsuchweatherasthis，onahorse，whenthereain'tanythingintheworldsosplendidasatramponfootthroughthefreshspringwoodsandoverthecheerymountains，toamanthatISaman——andIcanmakemydogcarrymyclaiminalittlebundle，anyway，whenit'scollected。
　　SotomorrowI'llbeupbrightandearly，makemylittleoldcollection，andmoseyofftoTennessee，onmyownhindlegs，witharousinggood-bytoGadsby's。'
　　"Onthe22dofJunehesoldhisdog——said'Dernadog，anyway，whereyou'rejuststartingoffonarattlingbullypleasuretrampthroughthesummerwoodsandhills——perfectnuisance——chasesthesquirrels，barksateverything，goesa-caperingandsplatteringaroundinthefords——
　　mancan'tgetanychancetoreflectandenjoynature——
　　andI'dablamedsightruthercarrytheclaimmyself，it'samightysightsafer；adog'smightyuncertaininafinancialway——alwaysnoticedit——well，GOOD-by，boys——lastcall——I'moffforTennesseewithagoodlegandagayheart，earlyinthemorning。'"
　　Therewasapauseandasilence——exceptthenoiseofthewindandthepeltingsnow。Mr。Lykinssaid，impatiently:
　　"Well?"
　　Rileysaid:
　　"Well，——thatwasthirtyyearsago。"
　　"Verywell，verywell——whatofit?"
　　"I'mgreatfriendswiththatoldpatriarch。Hecomeseveryeveningtotellmegood-by。Isawhimanhourago——
　　he'soffforTennesseeearlytomorrowmorning——asusual；
　　saidhecalculatedtogethisclaimthroughandbeoffbeforenight-owlslikemehaveturnedoutofbed。
　　Thetearswereinhiseyes，hewassogladhewasgoingtoseehisoldTennesseeandhisfriendsoncemore。"
　　Anothersilentpause。Thestrangerbrokeit:
　　"Isthatall?"
　　"Thatisall。"
　　"Well，fortheTIMEofnight，andtheKINDofnight，itseemstomethestorywasfulllongenough。Butwhat'sitallFOR?"
　　"Oh，nothinginparticular。"
　　"Well，where'sthepointofit?"
　　"Oh，thereisn'tanyparticularpointtoit。Only，ifyouarenotinTOOmuchofahurrytorushofftoSanFranciscowiththatpost-officeappointment，Mr。Lykins，I'dadviseyouto'PUTUPATGADSBY'S'foraspell，andtakeiteasy。
　　Good-by。GODblessyou!"
　　Sosaying，Rileyblandlyturnedonhisheelandlefttheastonishedschool-teacherstandingthere，amusingandmotionlesssnowimageshininginthebroadglowofthestreet-lamp。
　　Henevergotthatpost-office。
　　TogobacktoLucerneanditsfishers，Iconcluded，afteraboutninehours'waiting，thatthemanwhoproposestotarrytillheseessomethinghookoneofthosewell-fedandexperiencedfisheswillfinditwisdomto"putupatGadsby's"andtakeiteasy。Itislikelythatafishhasnotbeencaughtonthatlakepierforfortyyears；
　　butnomatter，thepatientfisherwatcheshiscorkthereallthedaylong，justthesame，andseemstoenjoyit。
　　Onemayseethefisher-loafersjustasthickandcontentedandhappyandpatientallalongtheSeineatParis，buttraditionsaysthattheonlythingevercaughtthereinmoderntimesisathingtheydon'tfishforatall——therecentdogandthetranslatedcat。
　　CHAPTERXXVII
　　[ISpareanAwfulBore]
　　ClosebytheLionofLucerneiswhattheycallthe"GlacierGarden"——anditistheonlyoneintheworld。
　　Itisonhighground。Fourorfiveyearsago，someworkmenwhowerediggingfoundationsforahousecameuponthisinterestingrelicofalong-departedage。
　　Scientificmenperceivedinitaconfirmationoftheirtheoriesconcerningtheglacialperiod；sothroughtheirpersuasionsthelittletractofgroundwasboughtandpermanentlyprotectedagainstbeingbuiltupon。
　　Thesoilwasremoved，andtherelaytheraspedandgutteredtrackwhichtheancientglacierhadmadeasitmovedalonguponitsslowandtediousjourney。Thistrackwasperforatedbyhugepot-shapedholesinthebed-rock，formedbythefuriouswashing-aroundinthemofbouldersbytheturbulenttorrentwhichflowsbeneathallglaciers。
　　Thesehugeroundbouldersstillremainintheholes；
　　theyandthewallsoftheholesarewornsmoothbythelong-continuedchafingwhichtheygaveeachotherinthoseolddays。Ittookamightyforcetochurnthesebiglumpsofstonearoundinthatvigorousway。
　　Theneighboringcountryhadaverydifferentshape，atthattime——thevalleyshaverisenupandbecomehills，since，andthehillshavebecomevalleys。Thebouldersdiscoveredinthepotshadtraveledagreatdistance，forthereisnorocklikethemnearerthanthedistantRhoneGlacier。
　　ForsomedayswewerecontenttoenjoylookingatthebluelakeLucerneandatthepiled-upmassesofsnow-mountainsthatborderitallaround——anenticingspectacle，thislast，forthereisastrangeandfascinatingbeautyandcharmaboutamajesticsnow-peakwiththesunblazinguponitorthemoonlightsoftlyenrichingit——butfinallyweconcludedtotryabitofexcursioningaroundonasteamboat，andadashonfootattheRigi。Verywell，wehadadelightfultriptoFluelen，onabreezy，sunnyday。
　　Everybodysatontheupperdeck，onbenches，underanawning；
　　everybodytalked，laughed，andexclaimedatthewonderscenery；
　　intruth，atriponthatlakeisalmosttheperfectionofpleasuring。Themountainswereanever-ceasingmarvel。
　　Sometimestheyrosestraightupoutofthelake，andtoweredaloftandovershadowedourpygmysteamerwiththeirprodigiousbulkinthemostimpressiveway。
　　Notsnow-cladmountains，these，yettheyclimbedhighenoughtowardtheskytomeetthecloudsandveiltheirforeheadsinthem。Theywerenotbarrenandrepulsive，butclothedingreen，andrestfulandpleasanttotheeye。
　　Andtheyweresoalmoststraight-up-and-down，sometimes，thatonecouldnotimagineamanbeingabletokeephisfootinguponsuchasurface，yettherearepaths，andtheSwisspeoplegoupanddownthemeveryday。
　　Sometimesoneofthesemonsterprecipiceshadtheslightinclinationofthehugeship-housesindockyards——
　　thenhighaloft，towardthesky，ittookalittlestrongerinclination，likethatofamansardroof——andperchedonthisdizzymansardone'seyedetectedlittlethingslikemartinboxes，andpresentlyperceivedthatthesewerethedwellingsofpeasants——anairyplaceforahome，truly。Andsupposeapeasantshouldwalkinhissleep，orhischildshouldfalloutofthefrontyard?——thefriendswouldhaveatediouslongjourneydownoutofthosecloud-heightsbeforetheyfoundtheremains。
　　Andyetthosefar-awayhomeslookedeversoseductive，theyweresoremotefromthetroubledworld，theydozedinsuchanatmosphereofpeaceanddreams——surelynoonewhohaslearnedtoliveuptherewouldeverwanttoliveonameanerlevel。
　　Wesweptthroughtheprettiestlittlecurvingarmsofthelake，amongthesecolossalgreenwalls，enjoyingnewdelights，always，asthestatelypanoramaunfoldeditselfbeforeusandrerolledandhiditselfbehindus；andnowandthenwehadthethrillingsurpriseofburstingsuddenlyuponatremendouswhitemasslikethedistantanddominatingJungfrau，orsomekindredgiant，loomingheadandshouldersaboveatumbledwasteoflesserAlps。
　　Once，whileIwashungrilytakinginoneofthesesurprises，anddoingmybesttogetallIpossiblycouldofitwhileitshouldlast，Iwasinterruptedbyayoungandcare-freevoice:
　　"You'reanAmerican，Ithink——so'mI。"
　　Hewasabouteighteen，orpossiblynineteen；slenderandofmediumheight；open，frank，happyface；arestlessbutindependenteye；asnubnose，whichhadtheairofdrawingbackwithadecentreservefromthesilkynew-bornmustachebelowituntilitshouldbeintroduced；
　　alooselyhungjaw，calculatedtoworkeasilyinthesockets。
　　Heworealow-crowned，narrow-brimmedstrawhat，withabroadblueribbonarounditwhichhadawhiteanchorembroideredonitinfront；nobbyshort-tailedcoat，pantaloons，vest，alltrimandneatandupwiththefashion；red-stripedstockings，verylow-quarterpatent-leathershoes，tiedwithblackribbon；blueribbonaroundhisneck，wide-opencollar；tinydiamondstuds；
　　wrinklelesskids；projectingcuffs，fastenedwithlargeoxidizedsilversleeve-buttons，bearingthedeviceofadog'sface——Englishpug。Hecarriesaslimcane，surmountedwithanEnglishpug'sheadwithredglasseyes。
　　UnderhisarmhecarriedaGermangrammar——Otto's。Hishairwasshort，straight，andsmooth，andpresentlywhenheturnedhisheadamoment，Isawthatitwasnicelypartedbehind。
　　Hetookacigaretteoutofadaintybox，stuckitintoameerschaumholderwhichhecarriedinamoroccocase，andreachedformycigar。Whilehewaslighting，Isaid:
　　"Yes——IamanAmerican。"
　　"Iknewit——Icanalwaystellthem。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?"
　　"HOLSATIA。"
　　"WecameintheBATAVIA——Cunard，youknow。Whatkindofpassagedidyouhave?"
　　"Tolerablyrough。"
　　"Sodidwe。Captainsaidhe'dhardlyeverseenitrougher。
　　Whereareyoufrom?"
　　"NewEngland。"
　　"So'mI。I'mfromNewBloomfield。Anybodywithyou?"
　　"Yes——afriend。"
　　"Ourwholefamily'salong。It'sawfulslow，goingaroundalone——don'tyouthinkso?"
　　"Ratherslow。"
　　"Everbeenoverherebefore?"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Ihaven't。Myfirsttrip。Butwe'vebeenallaround——Parisandeverywhere。I'mtoenterHarvardnextyear。
　　StudyingGermanallthetime，now。Can'tentertillI
　　knowGerman。IknowconsiderableFrench——IgetalongprettywellinParis，oranywherewheretheyspeakFrench。
　　Whathotelareyoustoppingat?"
　　"Schweitzerhof。"
　　"No!isthatso?Ineverseeyouinthereception-room。
　　Igotothereception-roomagooddealofthetime，becausethere'ssomanyAmericansthere。Imakelotsofacquaintances。IknowanAmericanassoonasIseehim——andsoIspeaktohimandmakehisacquaintance。
　　Iliketobealwaysmakingacquaintances——don'tyou?"
　　"Lord，yes!"
　　"Youseeitbreaksupatriplikethis，firstrate。
　　Inevergotboredonatriplikethis，ifIcanmakeacquaintancesandhavesomebodytotalkto。
　　ButIthinkatriplikethiswouldbeanawfulbore，ifabodycouldn'tfindanybodytogetacquaintedwithandtalktoonatriplikethis。I'mfondoftalking，ain'tyou?
　　"Passionately。"
　　"Haveyoufeltbored，onthistrip?"
　　"Notallthetime，partofit。"
　　"That'sit!——youseeyououghttogoaroundandgetacquainted，andtalk。That'smyway。That'sthewayIalwaysdo——I
　　justgo'round，'round，'roundandtalk，talk，talk——I
　　nevergetbored。YoubeenuptheRigiyet?"
　　"No。"
　　"Going?"
　　"Ithinkso。"
　　"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?"
　　"Idon'tknow。Istheremorethanone?"
　　"Three。YoustopattheSchreiber——you'llfinditfullofAmericans。Whatshipdidyousayyoucameoverin?"
　　"CITYOFANTWERP。"
　　"German，Iguess。YougoingtoGeneva?"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?"
　　"Hoteldel''EcudeG'en`eve。"
　　"Don'tyoudoit!NoAmericansthere!Youstopatoneofthosebighotelsoverthebridge——they'repackedfullofAmericans。"
　　"ButIwanttopracticemyArabic。"
　　"Goodgracious，doyouspeakArabic?"
　　"Yes——wellenoughtogetalong。"
　　"Why，hangit，youwon'tgetalonginGeneva——THEYdon'tspeakArabic，theyspeakFrench。Whathotelareyoustoppingathere?"
　　"HotelPension-Beaurivage。"
　　"Sho，yououghttostopattheSchweitzerhof。Didn'tyouknowtheSchweitzerhofwasthebesthotelinSwitzerland?——
　　lookatyourBaedeker。"
　　"Yes，Iknow——butIhadanideatherewarn'tanyAmericansthere。"
　　"NoAmericans!Why，blessyoursoul，it'sjustalivewiththem!I'minthegreatreception-roommostallthetime。
　　Imakelotsofacquaintancesthere。NotasmanyasIdidatfirst，becausenowonlythenewonesstopinthere——
　　theothersgorightalongthrough。Whereareyoufrom?"
　　"Arkansaw。"
　　"Isthatso?I'mfromNewEngland——NewBloomfield'smytownwhenI'mathome。I'mhavingamightygoodtimetoday，ain'tyou?"
　　"Divine。"
　　"That'swhatIcallit。Ilikethisknockingaround，looseandeasy，andmakingacquaintancesandtalking。
　　IknowanAmerican，soonasIseehim；soIgoandspeaktohimandmakehisacquaintance。Iain'teverbored，onatriplikethis，ifIcanmakenewacquaintancesandtalk。
　　I'mawfulfondoftalkingwhenIcangetholdoftherightkindofaperson，ain'tyou?"
　　"Ipreferittoanyotherdissipation。"
　　"That'smynotion，too。Nowsomepeopleliketotakeabookandsitdownandread，andread，andread，ormoonaroundyawpingatthelakeorthesemountainsandthings，butthatain'tmyway；no，sir，iftheylikeit，let'emdoit，Idon'tobject；butasforme，talking'swhat_I_like。
　　YoubeenuptheRigi?"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Whathoteldidyoustopat?"
　　"Schreiber。"
　　"That'stheplace!——Istoppedtheretoo。FULLofAmericans，WASN'Tit?Italwaysis——alwaysis。That'swhattheysay。
　　Everybodysaysthat。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?"
　　"VILLEDEPARIS。"
　　"French，Ireckon。Whatkindofapassagedid……excusemeaminute，there'ssomeAmericansIhaven'tseenbefore。"
　　Andawayhewent。Hewentuninjured，too——Ihadthemurderousimpulsetoharpoonhiminthebackwithmyalpenstock，butasIraisedtheweaponthedispositionleftme；
　　IfoundIhadn'tthehearttokillhim，hewassuchajoyous，innocent，good-naturednumbskull。
　　HalfanhourlaterIwassittingonabenchinspecting，withstronginterest，anoblemonolithwhichwewereskimmingby——amonolithnotshapedbyman，butbyNature'sfreegreathand——amassypyramidalrockeightyfeethigh，devisedbyNaturetenmillionyearsagoagainstthedaywhenamanworthyofitshouldneeditforhismonument。
　　Thetimecameatlast，andnowthisgrandremembrancerbearsSchiller'snameinhugelettersuponitsface。
　　Curiouslyenough，thisrockwasnotdegradedordefiledinanyway。Itissaidthattwoyearsagoastrangerlethimselfdownfromthetopofitwithropesandpulleys，andpaintedalloverit，inbluelettersbiggerthanthoseinSchiller'sname，thesewords:
　　"TrySozodont；""BuySunStovePolish；""Helmbold'sBuchu；"
　　"TryBenzalinefortheBlood。"
　　HewascapturedanditturnedoutthathewasanAmerican。
　　Uponhistrialthejudgesaidtohim:
　　"YouarefromalandwhereanyinsolentthatwantstoisprivilegedtoprofaneandinsultNature，and，throughher，Nature'sGod，ifbysodoinghecanputasordidpennyinhispocket。Butherethecaseisdifferent。Becauseyouareaforeignerandignorant，Iwillmakeyoursentencelight；
　　ifyouwereanativeIwoulddealstrenuouslywithyou。
　　Hearandobey:——YouwillimmediatelyremoveeverytraceofyouroffensiveworkfromtheSchillermonument；youpayafineoftenthousandfrancs；youwillsuffertwoyears'
　　imprisonmentathardlabor；youwillthenbehorsewhipped，tarredandfeathered，deprivedofyourears，riddenonarailtotheconfinesofthecanton，andbanishedforever。
　　Theseverestpenaltiesareomittedinyourcase——notasagracetoyou，buttothatgreatrepublicwhichhadthemisfortunetogiveyoubirth。"
　　Thesteamer'sbencheswererangedbacktobackacrossthedeck。Mybackhairwasminglinginnocentlywiththebackhairofacoupleofladies。PresentlytheywereaddressedbysomeoneandIoverheardthisconversation:
　　"YouareAmericans，Ithink?So'mI。"
　　"Yes——weareAmericans。"
　　"Iknewit——Icanalwaystellthem。Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?"
　　"CITYOFCHESTER。"
　　"Oh，yes——Inmanline。WecameintheBATAVIA——Cunardyouknow。Whatkindofapassagedidyouhave?"
　　"Prettyfair。"
　　"Thatwasluck。Wehaditawfulrough。Captainsaidhe'dhardlyseenitrougher。Whereareyoufrom?"
　　"NewJersey。"
　　"So'mI。No——Ididn'tmeanthat；I'mfromNewEngland。
　　NewBloomfield'smyplace。Theseyourchildren?——belongtobothofyou?"
　　"Onlytooneofus；theyaremine；myfriendisnotmarried。"
　　"Single，Ireckon?So'mI。Areyoutwoladiestravelingalone?"
　　"No——myhusbandiswithus。"
　　"Ourwholefamily'salong。It'sawfulslow，goingaroundalone——don'tyouthinkso?"
　　"Isupposeitmustbe。"
　　"Hi，there'sMountPilatuscominginsightagain。
　　NamedafterPontiusPilate，youknow，thatshottheappleoffofWilliamTell'shead。Guide-booktellsallaboutit，theysay。Ididn'treadit——anAmericantoldme。Idon'treadwhenI'mknockingaroundlikethis，havingagoodtime。
　　DidyoueverseethechapelwhereWilliamTellusedtopreach?"
　　"Ididnotknowheeverpreachedthere。"
　　"Oh，yes，hedid。ThatAmericantoldmeso。Hedon'tevershutuphisguide-book。Heknowsmoreaboutthislakethanthefishesinit。Besides，theyCALLit'Tell'sChapel'——youknowthatyourself。Youeverbeenoverherebefore?"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Ihaven't。It'smyfirsttrip。Butwe'vebeenallaround——Parisandeverywhere。I'mtoenterHarvardnextyear。
　　StudyingGermanallthetimenow。Can'tentertillI
　　knowGerman。Thisbook'sOtto'sgrammar。It'samightygoodbooktogettheICHHABEGEHABTHABEN'soutof。
　　ButIdon'treallystudywhenI'mknockingaroundthisway。
　　Ifthenotiontakesme，IjustrunovermylittleoldICHHAVEGEHABT，DUHASTGEHABT，ERHATGEHABT，WIRHABENGEHABT，IHRHABENGEHABT，SIEHABENGEHABT——
　　kindof'Now-I-lay-me-down-to-sleep'fashion，youknow，andafterthat，maybeIdon'tbuckletoitforthreedays。
　　It'sawfulunderminingtotheintellect，Germanis；
　　youwanttotakeitinsmalldoses，orfirstyouknowyourbrainsallruntogether，andyoufeelthemsloshingaroundinyourheadsameassomuchdrawnbutter。
　　ButFrenchisdifferent；FRENCHain'tanything。Iain'tanymoreafraidofFrenchthanatramp'safraidofpie；IcanrattleoffmylittleJ'AI，TUAS，ILA，andtherestofit，justaseasyasa-b-c。IgetalongprettywellinParis，oranywherewheretheyspeakFrench。Whathotelareyoustoppingat?"
　　"TheSchweitzerhof。"
　　"No!isthatso?Ineverseeyouinthebigreception-room。
　　Igointhereagooddealofthetime，becausethere'ssomanyAmericansthere。Imakelotsofacquaintances。
　　YoubeenuptheRigiyet?"
　　"No。"
　　"Going?"
　　"Wethinkofit。"
　　"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?"
　　"Idon'tknow。"
　　"Well，thenyoustopattheSchreiber——it'sfullofAmericans。
　　Whatshipdidyoucomeoverin?"
　　"CITYOFCHESTER。"
　　"Oh，yes，IrememberIaskedyouthatbefore。ButI
　　alwaysaskeverybodywhatshiptheycameoverin，andsosometimesIforgetandaskagain。YougoingtoGeneva?"
　　"Yes。"
　　"Whathotelyougoingtostopat?"
　　"Weexpecttostopinapension。"
　　"Idon'thardlybelieveyou'lllikethat；there'sveryfewAmericansinthepensions。Whathotelareyoustoppingathere?"
　　"TheSchweitzerhof。"
　　"Oh，yes。Iaskedyouthatbefore，too。ButIalwaysaskeverybodywhathotelthey'restoppingat，andsoI'vegotmyheadallmixedupwithhotels。Butitmakestalk，andIlovetotalk。Itrefreshesmeupso——don'tityou——onatriplikethis?"
　　"Yes——sometimes。"
　　"Well，itdoesme，too。AslongasI'mtalkingIneverfeelbored——ain'tthatthewaywithyou?"
　　"Yes——generally。Butthereareexceptiontotherule。"
　　"Oh，ofcourse。_I_don'tcaretotalktoeverybody，MYSELF。
　　Ifapersonstartsintojabber-jabber-jabberaboutscenery，andhistory，andpictures，andallsortsoftiresomethings，Igetthefan-todsmightysoon。Isay'Well，Imustbegoingnow——hopeI'llseeyouagain'——andthenItakeawalk。Whereyoufrom?"
　　"NewJersey。"
　　"Why，botheritall，IaskedyouTHATbefore，too。
　　HaveyouseentheLionofLucerne?"
　　"Notyet。"
　　"NorI，either。ButthemanwhotoldmeaboutMountPilatussaysit'soneofthethingstosee。
　　It'stwenty-eightfeetlong。Itdon'tseemreasonable，buthesaidso，anyway。Hesawityesterday；saiditwasdying，then，soIreckonit'sdeadbythistime。
　　Butthatain'tanymatter，ofcoursethey'llstuffit。
　　Didyousaythechildrenareyours——orHERS?"
　　"Mine。"
　　"Oh，soyoudid。Areyougoingupthe……no，Iaskedyouthat。Whatship……no，Iaskedyouthat，too。
　　Whathotelareyou……no，youtoldmethat。
　　Letmesee……um……Oh，whatkindofvoy……no，we'vebeenoverthatground，too。Um……um……well，Ibelievethatisall。BONJOUR——Iamverygladtohavemadeyouracquaintance，ladies。GUTENTAG。"
　　CHAPTERXXVIII
　　[TheJodelandItsNativeWilds]
　　TheRigi-KulmisanimposingAlpinemass，sixthousandfeethigh，whichstandsbyitself，andcommandsamightyprospectofbluelakes，greenvalleys，andsnowymountains——
　　acompactandmagnificentpicturethreehundredmilesincircumference。Theascentismadebyrail，orhorseback，oronfoot，asonemayprefer。Iandmyagentpanopliedourselvesinwalking-costume，onebrightmorning，andstarteddownthelakeonthesteamboat；wegotashoreatthevillageofWa"ggis；three-quartersofanhourdistantfromLucerne。Thisvillageisatthefootofthemountain。
　　Weweresoontrampingleisurelyuptheleafymule-path，andthenthetalkbegantoflow，asusual。Itwastwelveo'clocknoon，andabreezy，cloudlessday；
　　theascentwasgradual，andtheglimpses，fromunderthecurtainingboughs，ofbluewater，andtinysailboats，andbeetlingcliffs，wereascharmingasglimpsesofdreamland。
　　Allthecircumstanceswereperfect——andtheanticipations，too，forweshouldsoonbeenjoying，forthefirsttime，thatwonderfulspectacle，anAlpinesunrise——theobjectofourjourney。Therewasapparentlynorealneedforhurry，fortheguide-bookmadethewalking-distancefromWa"ggistothesummitonlythreehoursandaquarter。
　　Isay"apparently，"becausetheguide-bookhadalreadyfooledusonce——aboutthedistancefromAllerheiligentoOppenau——andforaughtIknewitmightbegettingreadytofoolusagain。Wewereonlycertainastothealtitudes——
　　wecalculatedtofindoutforourselveshowmanyhoursitisfromthebottomtothetop。Thesummitissixthousandfeetabovethesea，butonlyforty-fivehundredfeetabovethelake。Whenwehadwalkedhalfanhour，wewerefairlyintotheswingandhumoroftheundertaking，soweclearedforaction；thatistosay，wegotaboywhomwemettocarryouralpenstocksandsatchelsandovercoatsandthingsforus；thatleftusfreeforbusiness。
　　Isupposewemusthavestoppedoftenertostretchoutonthegrassintheshadeandtakeabitofasmokethanthisboywasusedto，forpresentlyheaskedifithadbeenourideatohirehimbythejob，orbytheyear?
　　Wetoldhimhecouldmovealongifhewasinahurry。
　　Hesaidhewasn'tinsuchaveryparticularhurry，buthewantedtogettothetopwhilehewasyoung。
　　Wetoldhimtoclearout，then，andleavethethingsattheuppermosthotelandsayweshouldbealongpresently。
　　Hesaidhewouldsecureusahotelifhecould，butiftheywereallfullhewouldaskthemtobuildanotheroneandhurryupandgetthepaintandplasterdryagainstwearrived。Stillgentlychaffingus，hepushedahead，upthetrail，andsoondisappeared。Bysixo'clockwewereprettyhighupintheair，andtheviewoflakeandmountainshadgreatlygrowninbreadthandinterest。
　　Wehaltedawhileatalittlepublichouse，wherewehadbreadandcheeseandaquartortwooffreshmilk，outontheporch，withthebigpanoramaallbeforeus——andthenmovedonagain。
　　Tenminutesafterwardwemetahot，red-facedmanplungingdownthemountain，makingmightystrides，swinginghisalpenstockaheadofhim，andtakingagriponthegroundwithitsironpointtosupportthesebigstrides。
　　Hestopped，fannedhimselfwithhishat，swabbedtheperspirationfromhisfaceandneckwitharedhandkerchief，pantedamomentortwo，andaskedhowfartoWa"ggis。
　　Isaidthreehours。Helookedsurprised，andsaid:
　　"Why，itseemsasifIcouldtossabiscuitintothelakefromhere，it'ssocloseby。Isthataninn，there?"
　　Isaiditwas。
　　"Well，"saidhe，"Ican'tstandanotherthreehours，I'vehadenoughtoday；I'lltakeabedthere。"
　　Iasked:
　　"Arewenearlytothetop?"
　　"NearlytotheTOP?"Why，blessyoursoul，youhaven'treallystarted，yet。"
　　Isaidwewouldputupattheinn，too。Soweturnedbackandorderedahotsupper，andhadquiteajollyeveningofitwiththisEnglishman。
　　TheGermanlandladygaveusneatroomsandnicebeds，andwhenIandmyagentturnedin，itwaswiththeresolutiontobeupearlyandmaketheutmostofourfirstAlpinesunrise。
　　Butofcourseweweredeadtired，andsleptlikepolicemen；
　　sowhenweawokeinthemorningandrantothewindowitwasalreadytoolate，becauseitwashalfpasteleven。
　　Itwasasharpdisappointment。However，weorderedbreakfastandtoldthelandladytocalltheEnglishman，butshesaidhewasalreadyupandoffatdaybreak——andswearinglikemadaboutsomethingorother。Wecouldnotfindoutwhatthematterwas。Hehadaskedthelandladythealtitudeofherplaceabovethelevelofthelake，andshetoldhimfourteenhundredandninety-fivefeet。
　　Thatwasallthatwassaid；thenhelosthistemper。
　　Hesaidthatbetween——foolsandguide-books，amancouldacquireignoranceenoughintwenty-fourhoursinacountrylikethistolasthimayear。Harrisbelievedourboyhadbeenloadinghimupwithmisinformation；
　　andthiswasprobablythecase，forhisepithetdescribedthatboytoadot。
　　Wegotunderwayabouttheturnofnoon，andpulledoutforthesummitagain，withafreshandvigorousstep。