saidItomyterrifiedemployer。IshmaelPickupwrunghisdirtyhandsandanswered，"Yesh，mydear!"
　　Ourinformantinthisawkwardmatterwasemployedattheofficeofthelawyerswhoweretohavetheconductingofthecaseagainstus；andhewasabletotellmesomeofthethingsImostwantedtoknowinrelationtothepicture。
　　IfoundoutfromhimthattheRembrandtwasstillinourcustomer'spossession。Theoldgentlemanhadconsentedtothequestionofitsgenuinenessbeingtried，buthadfartoohighanideaofhisownknowledgeasaconnoisseurtoinclinetotheopinionthathehadbeentakenin。Hissuspiciousrelativewasnotstayinginthehouse，butwasinthehabitofvisitinghim，everyday，intheforenoon。ThatwasasmuchasIwantedtoknowfromothers。Therestdependedonmyself，onluck，time，humancredulity，andasmatteringofchemicalknowledgewhichIhadacquiredinthedaysofmymedicalstudies。Ilefttheconclaveatthepicture-dealer'sforthwith，andpurchasedatthenearestdruggist'sabottlecontainingacertainpowerfulliquid，whichI
　　declinetoparticularizeonhighmoralgrounds。Ilabeledthebottle"TheAmsterdamCleansingCompound"；andIwrappedrounditthefollowingnote:
　　"Mr。Pickup'srespectfulcomplimentstoMr——letussay，Green。
　　IsrejoicedtostatethathefindshimselfunexpectedlyabletoforwardMr。Green'sviewsrelativetothecleaningof'TheBurgomaster'sBreakfast。'TheinclosedcompoundhasjustreachedhimfromAmsterdam。ItismadefromarecipefoundamongthepapersofRembrandthimself——hasbeenusedwiththemostastonishingresultsontheMaster'spicturesineverygalleryofHolland，andisnowbeingappliedtothesurfaceofthelargestRembrandtinMr。P。'sowncollection。Directionsforuse:Laythepictureflat，pourthewholecontentsofthebottleoveritgently，soastofloodtheentiresurface；leavetheliquidonthesurfaceforsixhours，thenwipeitoffbrisklywithasoftclothofaslargeasizeascanbeconvenientlyused。Theeffectwillbethemostwonderfulremovalofalldirt，andacompleteandbrilliantmetamorphosisofthepresentdingysurfaceofthepicture。”
　　Ileftthisnoteandthebottlemyselfattwoo'clockthatday；
　　thenwenthome，andconfidentlyawaitedtheresult。
　　Thenextmorningourfriendfromtheofficecalled，announcinghimselfbyaburstoflaughteroutsidethedoor。Mr。Greenhadimplicitlyfollowedthedirectionsintheletterthemomenthereceivedit——hadallowedthe"AmsterdamCleansingCompound"toremainontheRembrandtuntileighto'clockintheevening——hadcalledforthesoftestlinenclothinthewholehouse——andhadthen，withhisownvenerablehands，carefullywipedoffthecompound，andwithitthewholesurfaceofthepicture!Thebrown，theblack，theBurgomaster，thebreakfast，andtherayofyellowlight，allcamecleanofftogetherinconsiderablylessthanaminuteoftime。Ifthepicture，wasbroughtintocourtnow，theevidenceitcouldgiveagainstuswaslimitedtoabitofplainpanel，andamassofblackpulprolledupinaduster。
　　Ourlineofdefensewas，ofcourse，thatthecompoundhadbeenimproperlyused。Fortherest，wereliedwithwell-placedconfidenceonthewantofevidenceagainstus。Mr。Pickupwiselyclosedhisshopforawhile，andwentofftotheContinenttoransacktheforeigngalleries。Ireceivedmyfiveandtwentypounds，rubbedoutthebeginningofmysecondRembrandt，closedthebackdooroftheworkshopbehindme，andtherewasanothersceneofmylifeatanend。Ihadbutonecircumstancetoregret——andIdidregretitbitterly。Iwasstillasignorantaseveroftheyounglady'snameandaddress。
　　Myfirstvisitwastothestudioofmyexcellentartist-friend，whomIhavealreadypresentedtothereaderunderthesympatheticnameof"Dick。”Hegreetedmewithaletterinhishand。Itwasaddressedtome——ithadbeenleftatthestudioafewdayssince；
　　andmarvelofallmarvels!thehandwritingwasMr。
　　Batterbury's。Hadthisphilanthropicmannotdonebefriendingmeevenyet？Werethereanypresentorprospectiveadvantagestobegotoutofhimstill？Readhisletter，andjudge。
　　"SIR——Althoughyouhaveforfeitedbyyourungentlemanlyconducttowardmyself，andyourheartlesslymischievousreceptionofmydearwife，allclaimupontheforbearanceofthemostforbearingofyourrelatives，Iamdisposed，frommotivesofregardforthetranquillityofMrs。Batterbury'sfamily，andofsheergood-naturesofarasIammyselfconcerned，toaffordyouonemorechanceofretrievingyourpositionbyleadingarespectablelife。ThesituationIamenabledtoofferyouisthatofsecretarytoanewLiteraryandScientificInstitution，abouttobeopenedinthetownofDuskydale，nearwhichneighborhoodI
　　possess，asyoumustbeaware，somelandedproperty。Theofficehasbeenplacedatmydisposal，asvice-presidentofthenewInstitution。Thesalaryisfiftypoundsayear，withapartmentsontheattic-floorofthebuilding。Thedutiesarevarious，andwillbeexplainedtoyoubythelocalcommittee，ifyouchoosetopresentyourselftothemwiththeinclosedletterofintroduction。Aftertheunscrupulousmannerinwhichyouhaveimposedonmyliberalitybydeceivingmeintogivingyoufiftypoundsforanaudaciouscaricatureofmyself，whichitisimpossibletohangupinanyroomofthehouse，Ithinkthisinstanceofmyforgivingdispositionstilltobefriendyou，afterallthathashappened，oughttoappealtoanybetterfeelingsthatyoumaystillhaveleft，andrevivethelongdormantemotionsofrepentanceandself-reproach，whenyouthinkonyourobedientservant，"DANIELBATTERBURY。”
　　Blessme!WhatAlong-windedstyle，andwhatafussaboutfiftypoundsayear，andabedinanattic!ThesewerenaturallythefirstemotionswhichMr。Batterbury'sletterproducedinme。Whatwashisrealmotiveforwritingit？IhopenobodywilldomesogreataninjusticeastosupposethatIhesitatedforoneinstantaboutthewayoffinding_that_out。OfcourseIstartedoffdirectlytoinquireifLadyMalkinshawhadhadanothernarrowescapeofdyingbeforeme。
　　"Muchbetter，sir，"answeredmygrandmother'svenerablebutler，wipinghislipscarefullybeforehespoke；"herladyship'shealthhasbeenmuchimprovedsinceheraccident。”
　　"Accident!"Iexclaimed。"What，another？Lately？Stairsagain？"
　　"No，sir；thedrawing-roomwindowthistime，"answeredthebutler，withsemi-tipsygravity。"Herladyship'ssighthavingbeendefectiveoflateyears，occasionshersomedifficultyincalculatingdistances。Threedaysago，herladyshipwenttolookoutofthewindow，and，miscalculatingthedistance——"Herethebutler，withafinedramaticfeelingfortellingastory，stoppedjustbeforetheclimaxofthenarrative，andlookedmeinthefacewithanexpressionofthedeepestsympathy。
　　"Andmiscalculatingthedistance？"Irepeatedimpatiently。
　　"Putherheadthroughapaneofglass，"saidthebutler，inasoftvoicesuitedtothepatheticnatureofthecommunication。
　　"Bygreatgoodfortuneherladyshiphadbeendressedfortheday，andhadgotherturbanon。Thissavedherladyship'shead。Butherladyship'sneck，sir，hadaverynarrowescape。Abitofthebrokenglasswoundeditwithinhalfaquarterofaninchofthecarottyartery"meaning，probably，carotid；"Iheardthemedicalgentlemansay，andshallneverforgetittomydyingday，thatherladyship'slifehadbeensavedbyahair-breadth。Asitwas，thebloodlostthemedicalgentlemansaidthat，too，sir
　　wasaccidentallyofthegreatestpossiblebenefit，beingapoplectic，inthewayofclearingoutthesystem。Herladyship'sappetitehasbeenimprovedeversince——thecarriageisoutairingofheratthisverymoment——likewise，shetakesthefootman'sarmandthemaid'supanddownstairsnow，whichsheneverwouldhearofbeforethislastaccident。'Ifeeltenyearsyounger'thosewereherladyship'sownwordstome，thisveryday，'Ifeeltenyearsyounger，Vokins，sinceIbrokethedrawing-roomwindow。'
　　Andherladyshiplooksit!"
　　Nodoubt。HerewasthekeytoMr。Batterbury'sletterofforgiveness。Hischanceofreceivingthelegacylookednowfurtheroffthanever；hecouldnotfeelthesameconfidenceashiswifeinmypoweroflivingdownanyamountofstarvationandadversity；andhewas，therefore，quitereadytotakethefirstopportunityofpromotingmypreciouspersonalwelfareandsecurity，ofwhichhecouldavailhimself，withoutspendingafarthingofmoney。Isawitallclearly，andadmiredthehereditarytoughnessoftheMalkinshawfamilymoregratefullythanever。WhatshouldIdo？GotoDuskydale？Whynot？Itdidn'tmattertomewhereIwent，nowthatIhadnohopeofeverseeingthoselovelybrowneyesagain。
　　Igottomynewdestinationthenextday，presentedmycredentials，gavemyselfthefulladvantageofmyhighconnections，andwasreceivedwithenthusiasmanddistinction。
　　IfoundthenewInstitutiontornbyinternalschismsevenbeforeitwasopenedtothepublic。Twofactiousgovernedit——agravefactionandagayfaction。Twoquestionsagitatedit:thefirstreferringtotheproprietyofcelebratingtheopeningseasonbyapublicball，andthesecondtotheexpediencyofadmittingnovelsintothelibrary。ThegrimPuritaninterestofthewholeneighborhoodwas，ofcourse，onthegraveside——againstbothdancingandnovels，asproposedbylocalloosethinkersandlatitudinariansofeverydegree。Iwasofficiallyintroducedtothedebateattheheightofthesquabble；andfoundmyselfoneofalargepartyinasmallroom，sittingroundalongtable，eachmanofuswithanewpewterinkstand，anewquillpen，andacleansheetoffoolscappaperbeforehim。Seeingthateverybodyspoke，Igotonmylegsalongwiththerest，andmadeaslashingspeechontheloose-thinkingside。Iwasfollowedbytheleaderofthegrimfaction——anunlickedcurateofthelargestdimensions。
　　"Iftherewere，sotospeak，nootherreasonagainstdancing，"
　　saidmyreverendopponent，"thereisoneunanswerableobjectiontoit。Gentlemen!JohntheBaptistlosthisheadthroughdancing!"'
　　Everymanofthegrimfactionhammereddelightedlyonthetable，asthatformidableargumentwasproduced；andthecuratesatdownintriumph。Ijumpeduptoreply，amidthecounter-cheeringoftheloose-thinkers；butbeforeIcouldsayawordthePresidentoftheInstitutionandtherectoroftheparishcameintotheroom。
　　Theywerebothmenofauthority，menofsense，andfathersofcharmingdaughters，andtheyturnedthescaleontherightsideinnotime。Thequestionrelatingtotheadmissionofnovelswaspostponed，andthequestionofdancingornodancingwasputtothevoteonthespot。ThePresident，therectorandmyself，thethreehandsomestandhighest-bredmenintheassembly，ledthewayontheliberalside，waggishlywarningallgallantgentlemenpresenttobewareofdisappointingtheyoungladies。Thisdecidedthewaverers，andthewaverersdecidedthemajority。Myfirstbusiness，asSecretary，wasthedrawingoutofamodelcardofadmissiontotheball。
　　Mynextoccupationwastolookattheroomsprovidedforme。
　　TheDuskydaleInstitutionoccupiedabadly-repairedten-roomedhouse，withagreatflimsysaloonbuiltatonesideofit，smellingofpaintanddampplaster，andcalledtheLectureTheater。Itwasthechilliest，ugliest，emptiest，gloomiestplaceIeverenteredinmylife；theideaofdoinganythingbutsittingdownandcryinginitseemedtomequitepreposterous；butthecommitteetookadifferentviewofthematter，andpraisedtheLectureTheaterasaperfectballroom。TheSecretary'sapartmentsweretwogarrets，assertingthemselvesinthemostbarefacedmanner，withoutanattemptatdisguise。IfIhadintendedtodomorethanearnmyfirstquarter'ssalary，Ishouldhavecomplained。ButasIhadnottheslightestintentionofremainingatDuskydale，Icouldaffordtoestablishareputationforamiabilitybysayingnothing。
　　"HaveyouseenMr。Softly，thenewSecretary？Amostdistinguishedperson，andquiteanacquisitiontotheneighborhood。”Suchwasthepopularopinionofmeamongtheyoungladiesandtheliberalinhabitants。"HaveyouseenMr。Softly，thenewSecretary？Aworldly，vaingloriousyoungman。ThelastpersoninEnglandtopromotetheinterestsofournewInstitution。”Suchwasthecounter-estimateofmeamongthePuritanpopulation。Ireportbothopinionsquitedisinterestedly。
　　Thereisgenerallysomethingtobesaidoneithersideofeveryquestion；and，asforme，Icanalwaysholdupthescalesimpartially，evenwhenmyowncharacteristhesubstanceweighinginthem。Readersofancienthistoryneednotbereminded，atthistimeofday，thattheremaybeRomanvirtueeveninaRogue。
　　Theobjects，interests，andgeneralbusinessoftheDuskydaleInstitutionwerematterswithwhichIneverthoughtoftroublingmyselfonassumingthedutiesofSecretary。Allmyenergiesweregiventothearrangementsconnectedwiththeopeningball。
　　Iwaselectedbyacclamationtotheofficeofgeneralmanageroftheentertainments；andIdidmybesttodeservetheconfidencereposedinme；leavingliteratureandscience，sofarasIwasconcerned，perfectlyatlibertytoadvancethemselvesornot，justastheyliked。Whatevermycolleaguesmayhavedone，afterI
　　leftthem，nobodyatDuskydalecanaccusemeofhavingeverbeenaccessorytothedisturbingofquietpeoplewithusefulknowledge。ItookthearduousanduniversallyneglecteddutyofteachingtheEnglishpeoplehowtobeamusedentirelyonmyownshoulders，andlefttheeasyandcustomarybusinessofmakingthemmiserabletoothers。
　　Myunhappycountrymen!andthriceunhappytheyofthepoorersort——anymancanpreachtothem，lecturetothem，andformthemintoclasses——butwhereisthemanwhocangetthemtoamusethemselves？Anybodymaycramtheirpoorheads；butwhowillbrightentheirgravefaces？Don'treadstory-books，don'tgotoplays，don'tdance!Finishyourlongday'sworkandthenintoxicateyourmindswithsolidhistory，revelinthetoo-attractiveluxuryofthelecture-room，sinkunderthesofttemptationofclassesformutualinstruction!Howmanypotent，graveandreverenttonguesdiscoursetothepopularearinthesesirenstrains，andhowobedientlyandresignedlythissamewearypopularearlistens!Whatifaboldmanspringuponeday，cryingaloudinoursocialwilderness，"Play，forHeaven'ssake，oryouwillworkyourselvesintoanationofautomatons!Shakealooselegtoalivelyfiddle!WomenofEngland!dragthelecturerofftherostrum，andthemalemutualinstructoroutoftheclass，andeasetheirpooraddledheadsofeveningsbymakingthemdanceandsingwithyou。Acceptnoofferfromanymanwhocannotbeproved，forayearpast，tohavesystematicallylosthisdignityatleastthreetimesaweek，afterofficehours。You，daughtersofEve，whohavethatwholesomeloveofpleasurewhichisoneofthegreatestadornmentsofthefemalecharacter，setupasocietyforthepromotionofuniversalamusement，andsavetheBritishnationfromthelamentablesocialconsequencesofitsowngravity!"
　　Imagineavoicecryinglustilyafterthisfashion——whatsortofechoeswoulditfind？——Groans？
　　Iknowwhatsortofechoesmyvoicefound。Theyweresodiscouragingtome，andtothefrivolousminorityofpleasure-seekers，thatIrecommendedloweringthepriceofadmissionsoastosuitthemeansofanydecentpeoplewhowerewillingtoleaveoffmoney-grubbingandtearthemselvesfromthecharmsofmutualinstructionforoneeveningatleast。ThepropositionwasindignantlynegativedbythemanagersoftheInstitution。IamsosingularlyobstinateamanthatIwasnottobedepressedevenbythis。
　　Mynexteffortstofilltheballroomcouldnotbeblamed。I
　　procuredalocaldirectory，putfiftyticketsinmypocket，dressedmyselfinnankeenpantaloonsandasky-bluecoatthentheheightoffashion，andsetforthtotoutfordancersamongallthemembersofthegenteelpopulation，who，notbeingnotoriousPuritans，hadalsonotbeensoobligingastotaketicketsfortheball。Thereneverwasanyprideorbashfulnessaboutme。Exceptingcertainperiodsofsuspenseandanxiety，Iamaseven-temperedaRogueasyouhavemetwithanywheresincethedaysofGilBlas。
　　Mytemperamentbeingopposedtodoinganythingwithregularity，I
　　openedthedirectoryathazard，anddeterminedtomakemyfirstcallatthefirsthousethatcaughtmyeye。VallombrosaValeCottages。No。1。DoctorandMissDulcifer。Verygood。Ihavenopreferences。Letmesellthefirsttwoticketsthere。Ifoundtheplace；Iopenedthegardengate；Iadvancedtothedoor，innocentlywonderingwhatsortofpeopleIshouldfindinside。
　　IfIamaskedwhatwasthetruereasonforthisextraordinaryactivityonmypart，inservingtheinterestsofasetofpeopleforwhomIcarednothing，Imusthonestlyownthatthelossofmyyoungladywasatthebottomofit。Anyoccupationwaswelcomewhichkeptmymind，insomedegreeatleast，fromdwellingonthebitterdisappointmentthathadbefallenme。WhenIrangthebellatNo。1，didIfeelnopresentimentoftheexquisitesurpriseinstoreforme？Ifeltnothingofthesort。Thefactis，mydigestionisexcellent。Presentimentsaremorecloselyconnectedthanisgenerallysupposedwithaweakstateofstomach。
　　IaskedforMissDulcifer，andwasshownintothesitting-room。
　　Don'texpectmetodescribemysensations:hundredsofsensationsflewalloverme。Thereshewas，sittingalone，nearthewindow!
　　Thereshewas，withnimblewhitefingers，workingasilkpurse!
　　Themelancholyinherfaceandmanner，whenIhadlastseenher，appearednomore。Shewasprettilydressedinmaizecolor，andtheroomwaswellfurnished。Herfatherhadevidentlygotoverhisdifficulties。Ihadbeeninclinedtolaughathisoddname，whenIfounditinthedirectory!NowIbegantodislikeit，becauseitwashername，too。Itwasaconsolationtorememberthatshecouldchangeit。Wouldshechangeitformine？
　　Iwasthefirsttorecover；Iboldlydrewachairnearherandtookherhand。
　　"Yousee，"Isaid，"itisofnousetotrytoavoidme。Thisisthethirdtimewehavemet。Willyoureceivemeasavisitor，undertheseextraordinarycircumstances？WillyougivemealittlehappinesstocompensateforwhatIhavesufferedsinceyouleftme？"
　　Shesmiledandblushed。
　　"Iamsosurprised，"sheanswered，"Idon'tknowwhattosay。”
　　"Disagreeablysurprised？"Iasked。
　　Shefirstwentonwithherwork，andthenrepliedalittlesadly，asIthought:
　　"No!"
　　Iwasreadyenoughtotakeadvantageofmyopportunitiesthistime；butshecontrivedwithperfectpolitenesstostopme。Sheseemedtorememberwithshame，poorsoul，thecircumstancesunderwhichIhadlastseenher。
　　"HowdoyoucometobeatDuskydale？"sheinquired，abruptlychangingthesubject。"Andhowdidyoufindusouthere？"
　　WhileIwasgivingherthenecessaryexplanationsherfathercamein。Ilookedathimwithconsiderablecuriosity。
　　Atallstoutgentlemanwithimpressiverespectabilityoozingoutofhimateverypore——withaswellingoutlineofblack-waistcoatedstomach，withaloftyforehead，withasmoothdoublechinrestingpulpilyonawhitecravat。Everythinginharmonyabouthimexcepthiseyes，andtheseweresosharp，brightandresolutethattheyseemedtocontradicttheblandconventionalitywhichoverspreadalltherestoftheman。Eyeswithwonderfulintelligenceandself-dependenceinthem；perhaps，also，withsomethingalittlefalseinthem，whichImighthavediscoveredimmediatelyunderordinarycircumstances:butIlookedatthedoctorthroughthemediumofhisdaughter，andsawnothingofhimatthefirstglancebuthismerits。
　　"Wearebothverymuchindebtedtoyou，sir，foryourpolitenessincalling，"hesaid，withexcessivecivilityofmanner。"Butourstayatthisplacehasdrawntoanend。Ionlycamehereforthere-establishmentofmydaughter'shealth。Shehasbenefitedgreatlybythechangeofair，andwehavearrangedtoreturnhometo-morrow。Otherwise，weshouldhavegladlyprofitedbyyourkindofferofticketsfortheball。”
　　OfcourseIhadoneeyeontheyoungladywhilehewasspeaking。
　　Shewaslookingatherfather，andasuddensadnesswasstealingoverherface。Whatdiditmean？Disappointmentatmissingtheball？No，itwasamuchdeeperfeelingthanthat。Myinterestwasexcited。Iaddressedacomplimentaryentreatytothedoctornottotakehisdaughterawayfromus。IaskedhimtoreflectontheirreparableeclipsethathewouldbecastingovertheDuskydaleballroom。Tomyamazement，sheonlylookeddowngloomilyonherworkwhileIspoke；herfatherlaughedcontemptuously。
　　"Wearetoocompletelystrangershere，"hesaid，"forourlosstobefeltbyanyone。FromallthatIcangather，societyinDuskydalewillbegladtohearofourdeparture。Ibegyourpardon，Alicia——Ioughttohavesaid_my_departure。”
　　HernamewasAlicia!Ideclareitwasaluxurytometohearit——thenamewassoappropriate，sosuggestiveofthegraceanddignityofherbeauty。
　　Iturnedtowardherwhenthedoctorhaddone。Shelookedmoregloomilythanbefore。Iprotestedagainstthedoctor'saccountofhimself。Helaughedagain，withaquickdistrustfullook，thistime，athisdaughter。
　　"Ifyouweretomentionmynameamongyourrespectableinhabitants，"hewenton，withastrong，sneeringemphasisonthewordrespectable，"theywouldmostlikelypurseuptheirlipsandlookgraveatit。SinceIgaveuppracticeasaphysician，Ihaveengagedinchemicalinvestigationsonalargescale，destinedI
　　hope，toleadtosomeimportantpublicresults。UntilIarriveatthese，Iamnecessarilyobliged，inmyowninterests，tokeepmyexperimentssecret，andtoimposesimilardiscretionontheworkmenwhomIemploy。Thisunavoidableappearanceofmystery，andthestrictlyretiredlifewhichmystudiescompelmetolead，offendthenarrow-mindedpeopleinmypartofthecounty，closetoBarkingham；andtheunpopularityofmypursuitshasfollowedmehere。Thegeneralopinion，Ibelieve，is，thatIamseekingbyunholyartsforthephilosopher'sstone。Plainman，asyouseeme，IfindmyselfgettingquitethereputationofaDoctorFaustusinthepopularmind。Eveneducatedpeopleinthisveryplaceshaketheirheadsandpitymydaughterthereforlivingwithanalchemicalparent，withineasysmelling-distanceofanexplosivelaboratory。Excessivelyabsurd，isitnot？"
　　Itmighthavebeenexcessivelyabsurd，butthelovelyAliciasatwithhereyesonherwork，lookingasifitwereexcessivelysad，andnotgivingherfatherthefaintestansweringsmilewhenheglancedtowardherandlaughed，ashesaidhislastwords。I
　　couldnotatalltellwhattomakeofit。Thedoctortalkedofthesocialconsequencesofhischemicalinquiriesasifhewerelivinginthemiddleages。However，Iwasfartooanxioustoseethecharmingbrowneyesagaintoaskquestionswhichwouldbesuretokeepthemcastdown。SoIchangedthetopictochemistryingeneral；and，tothedoctor'sevidentastonishmentandpleasure，toldhimofmyownearlystudiesinthescience。
　　Thisledtothementionofmyfather，whosereputationhadreachedtheearsofDoctorDulcifer。Ashetoldmethat，hisdaughterlookedup——thesunofbeautyshoneonmeagain!I
　　touchednextonmyhighconnections，andonLadyMalkinshaw；I
　　describedmyselfastemporarilybanishedfromhomeforhumorouscaricaturing，andamiableyouthfulwildness。Shewasinterested；
　　shesmiled——andthesunofbeautyshonewarmerthanever!I
　　divergedtogeneraltopics，andgotbrilliantandamusing。Shelaughed——thenightingalenotesofhermerrimentbubbledintomyearscaressingly——whycouldInotshutmyeyesandlistentothem？Hercolorrose；herfacegrewanimated。Poorsoul!Alittlelivelycompanywasbuttooevidentlyararetreattoher。Undersuchcircumstances，whowouldnotbeamusing？Ifshehadsaidtome，"Mr。Softly，Iliketumbling，"Ishouldhavemadeaclownofmyselfonthespot。IshouldhavestoodonmyheadifIcould，andbeenamplyrewardedforthegracefulexertion，iftheeyesofAliciahadlookedkindlyonmyelevatedheels!
　　HowlongIstayedismorethanIcantell。Lunchcameup。Ieatanddrank，andgrewmoreamusingthanever。WhenIatlastrosetogo，thebrowneyeslookedonmeverykindly，andthedoctorgavemehiscard。
　　"Ifyoudon'tmindtrustingyourselfintheclutchesofDoctorFaustus，"hesaid，withagaysmile，"IshallbedelightedtoseeyouifyouareeverintheneighborhoodofBarkingham。”
　　Iwrunghishand，mentallyrelinquishingmysecretaryshipwhileI
　　thankedhimfortheinvitation。Iputoutmyhandnexttohisdaughter，andthedearfriendlygirlmettheadvancewiththemostcharmingreadiness。Shegavemeagood，hearty，vigorous，uncompromisingshake。Opreciousrighthand!neverdidIproperlyappreciateyourvalueuntilthatmoment。
　　Goingoutwithmyheadintheair，andmysensesintheseventhheaven，Ijostledanelderlygentlemanpassingbeforethegardengate。Iturnedroundtoapologize；itwasmybrotherinoffice，theestimableTreasureroftheDuskydaleInstitute。
　　"Ihavebeenhalfoverthetownlookingafteryou，"hesaid。"TheManagingCommittee，onreflection，consideryourplanofpersonallysolicitingpublicattendanceatthehalltobecompromisingthedignityoftheInstitution，andbegyou，therefore，toabandonit。”
　　"Verywell，"saidI，"thereisnoharmdone。Thusfar，Ihaveonlysolicitedtwopersons，DoctorandMissDulcifer，inthatdelightfullittlecottagethere。”
　　"Youdon'tmeantosayyouhaveasked_them_tocometotheball!"
　　"TobesureIhave。AndIamsorrytosaytheycan'taccepttheinvitation。Whyshouldtheynotbeasked？"
　　"Becausenobodyvisitsthem。”
　　"Andwhyshouldnobodyvisitthem？"
　　TheTreasurerputhisarmconfidentiallythroughmine，andwalkedmeonafewsteps。
　　"Inthefirstplace，"hesaid，"DoctorDulcifer'snameisnotdownintheMedicalList。”
　　"Somemistake，"Isuggested，inmyoff-handway。"Orsomeforeigndoctor'sdegreenotrecognizedbytheprejudicedpeopleinEngland。”
　　"Inthesecondplace，"continuedtheTreasurer，"wehavefoundoutthatheisnotvisitedatBarkingham。Consequently，itwouldbetheheightofimprudencetovisithimhere。”
　　"Pooh!pooh!Allthenonsenseofnarrow-mindedpeople，becausehelivesaretiredlife，andisengagedinfindingoutchemicalsecretswhichtheignorantpublicdon'tknowhowtoappreciate。”
　　"TheshuttersarealwaysupinthefronttopwindowsofhishouseatBarkingham，"saidtheTreasurer，loweringhisvoicemysteriously。"Iknowitfromafriendresidentnearhim。Thewindowsthemselvesarebarred。Itiscurrentlyreportedthatthetopofthehouse，inside，isshutoffbyirondoorsfromthebottom。Workmenareemployedtherewhodon'tbelongtotheneighborhood，whodon'tdrinkatthepublichouses，whoonlyassociatewitheachother。Unfamiliarsmellsandnoisesfindtheirwayoutsidesometimes。Nobodyinthehousecanbegottotalk。Thedoctor，ashecallshimself，doesnotevenmakeanattempttogetintosociety，doesnoteventrytoseecompanyforthesakeofhispoorunfortunatedaughter。Whatdoyouthinkofallthat？"
　　"Think!"Irepeatedcontemptuously；"IthinktheinhabitantsofBarkinghamarethebestfindersofmares'nestsinallEngland。
　　ThedoctorismakingimportantchemicaldiscoveriesthepossiblevalueofwhichIcanappreciate，beingchemicalmyself，andheisnotquitefoolenoughtoexposevaluablesecretstotheviewofalltheworld。Hislaboratoryisatthetopofthehouse，andhewiselyshutsitofffromthebottomtopreventaccidents。HeisoneofthebestfellowsIevermetwith，andhisdaughteristheloveliestgirlintheworld。Whatdoyouallmeanbymakingmysteriesaboutnothing？Hehasgivenmeaninvitationtogoandseehim。Isupposethenextthingyouwillfindoutis，thatthereissomethingunderhandeveninthat？"
　　"Youwon'taccepttheinvitation？"
　　"Ishall，attheveryfirstopportunity；andifyouhadseenMissAlicia，sowouldyou。”
　　"Don'tgo。Takemyadviceanddon'tgo，"saidtheTreasurer，gravely。"Youareayoungman。Reputablefriendsareofimportancetoyouattheoutsetoflife。IsaynothingagainstDoctorDulcifer——hecamehereasastranger，andhegoesawayagainasastranger——butyoucan'tbesurethathispurposeinaskingyousoreadilytohishouseisaharmlessone。Makinganewacquaintanceisalwaysadoubtfulspeculation；butwhenamanisnotvisitedbyhisrespectableneighbors——"
　　"Becausehedoesn'topenhisshutters，"Iinterposedsarcastically。
　　"Becausetherearedoubtsabouthimandhishousewhichhewillnotclearup，"retortedtheTreasurer。"Youcantakeyourownway。Youmayturnoutright，andwemayallbewrong；Icanonlysayagain，itisrashtomakedoubtfulacquaintances。Soonerorlateryouarealwayssuretorepentit。InyourplaceIshouldcertainlynotaccepttheinvitation。”
　　"Inmyplace，mydearsir，"Ianswered，"youwoulddoexactlywhatImeantodo。”
　　TheTreasurertookhisarmoutofmine，andwithoutsayinganotherword，wishedmegood-morning。
　　CHAPTERVII。
　　IHADspokenconfidentlyenough，whilearguingthequestionofDoctorDulcifer'srespectabilitywiththeTreasureroftheD
　　uskydaleInstitution；but，ifmyperceptionshadnotbeenblindedbymyenthusiasticadmirationforAlicia，IthinkIshouldhavesecretlydistrustedmyownopinionassoonasIwasleftbymyself。HadIbeeninfullpossessionofmysenses，Imighthavequestioned，onreflection，whetherthedoctor'smethodofaccountingforthesuspicionswhichkepthisneighborsalooffromhim，wasquitesatisfactory。Loveisgenerallydescribed，I
　　believe，asthetenderpassion。WhenIremembertheinsidiouslyrelaxingeffectofitonallmyfaculties，Ifeelinclinedtoalterthepopulardefinition，andtocallitamoralvapor-bath。
　　WhattheManagingCommitteeoftheDuskydaleInstitutionthoughtofthechangeinme，Icannotimagine。Thedoctorandhisdaughterleftthetownonthedaytheyhadoriginallyappointed，beforeIcouldmakeanyexcuseforcallingagain；and，asanecessaryconsequenceoftheirdeparture，Ilostallinterestintheaffairsoftheball，andyawnedinthefacesofthecommitteewhenIwasobligedtobepresentattheirdeliberationsinmyofficialcapacity。
　　ItwasallAliciawithme，whatevertheydid。IreadtheMinutesthroughasoftmediumofmaize-coloredskirts。Notesofmelodiouslaughterbubbled，inmymind'sear，throughallthedrawlingandstammeringofourspeech-makingmembers。WhenourdignifiedPresidentthoughthehadcaughtmyeye，andmadeoratoricaloverturestomefromthetopofthetable，Iwaslostinthecontemplationofsilkpursesandwhitefingersweavingthem。I
　　meant"Alicia"whenIsaid"hear，hear"——andwhenIofficiallyproducedmysubscriptionlist，itwasallaglowwiththeroseatehuesofthemarriage-license。Ifanyunsympatheticmalereadersshouldthinkthisstatementexaggerated，Iappealtotheladies——_they_willappreciatetherigid，yettender，truthofit。
　　Thenightoftheballcame。Ihavenothingbutthevaguestrecollectionofit。
　　Irememberthatthemoretheperverselecturetheaterwaswarmedthemorepersistentlyitsmelledofdampplaster；andthatthemorebrightlyitwaslighted，themoreovergrownandlonesomeitlooked。Icanrecalltomindthatthecompanyassemblednumberedaboutfifty，theroombeingbigenoughtoholdthreehundred。I
　　haveavisionstillbeforeme，oftwentyoutofthesefiftyguests，solemnlyexecutingintricatefigure-dances，underthesuperintendenceofaninfirmlocaldancing-master——amerespeckoffidgetyhumanwretchednesstwistingaboutinthemiddleofanemptyfloor。Isee，faintly，downthedimvistaofthePast，anagreeablefigure，likemyself，withacockedhatunderitsarm，blacktightsonitslightlytrippinglegs，arosetteinitsbuttonhole，andanengagingsmileonitsface，walkingfromendtoendoftheroom，inthecharacterofMasteroftheCeremonies。
　　ThesevisionsandeventsIcanrecallvaguely；andwiththemmyremembrancesoftheballcometoaclose。Itwasacompletefailure，andthatwould，ofitself，havebeenenoughtosickenmeofremainingattheDuskydaleInstitution，evenifIhadnothadanyreasonsofthetendersortforwishingtoextendmytravelsinruralEnglandtotheneighborhoodofBarkingham。
　　Thedifficultywashowtofindadecentpretextforgettingaway。
　　Fortunately，theManagingCommitteerelievedmeofanyperplexityonthishead，bypassingaresolution，oneday，whichcalleduponthePresidenttoremonstratewithmeonmywantofproperinterestintheaffairsoftheInstitution。IrepliedtotheremonstrancethattheaffairsoftheInstitutionweresohopelesslydullthatitwasequallyabsurdandunjusttoexpectanyhumanbeingtotakethesmallestinterestinthem。Atthistherearoseanindignantcryof"Resign!"fromthewholecommittee；towhichIansweredpolitely，thatIshouldbedelightedtoobligethegentlemen，andtogoforthwith，onconditionofreceivingaquarter'ssalaryinthewayofpreviouscompensation。
　　Afterasordidoppositionfromaneconomicalminority，myconditionofdeparturewasaccepted。Iwrotealetterofresignation，receivedinexchangetwelvepoundstenshillings，andtookmyplace，thatsameday，onthebox-seatoftheBarkinghammail。
　　Ratherchangeablethislifeofmine，wasitnot？BeforeIwastwenty-fiveyearsofage，Ihadtrieddoctoring，caricaturingportrait-painting，oldpicture-making，andInstitution-managing；
　　andnow，withthehelpofAlicia，Iwasabouttotryhowalittlemarryingwouldsuitme。Surely，Shakespearemusthavehadmepropheticallyinhiseye，whenhewroteabout"onemaninhistimeplayingmanyparts。”WhatacharacterIshouldhavemadeforhim，ifhehadonlybeenalivenow!
　　Ifoundoutfromthecoachman，amongothermatters，thattherewasafamousfishingstreamnearBarkingham；andthefirstthingIdid，onarrivingatthetown，wastobuyarodandline。