Shewasdirtyandlazy,andlikedtololltherewhentravellerscame,tohearthementalk,butshehadasoftheart。Presentlyahandcameoutofthewindow,andapairofvelvetslipperstouchedhisshoulder,tinyslipperswithblackflowers。Hepulledthemoutofherhand。Onlyonewoman’sfeethadwornthem,heknewthat。
"Leftherelastsummerbyalady,"saidthegirl;"mightbetheoneyouarelookingfor。Neversawanyfeetsosmall。"
Gregoryroseandquestionedher。
Theymighthavecomeinawagonandspider,shecouldnottell。Butthegentlemanwasveryhandsome,tall,lovelyfigure,blueeyes,woreglovesalwayswhenhewentout。AnEnglishofficer,perhaps;noAfricander,certainly。
Gregorystoppedher。
Thelady?Well,shewaspretty,rather,thegirlsaid;verycold,dullair,silent。Theystayedfor,itmightbe,fivedays;sleptinthewingoveragainstthestoep;quarrelledsometimes,shethought——thelady。Shehadseeneverythingwhenshewentintowait。Onedaythegentlemantouchedherhair;shedrewbackfromhimasthoughhisfingerspoisonedher。Wenttotheotherendoftheroomifhecametositnearher。Walkedoutalone。Coldwifeforsuchahandsomehusband,thegirlthought;sheevidentlypitiedhim,hewassuchabeautifulman。Theywentawayearlyonemorning,how,orinwhichway,thegirlcouldnottell。
Gregoryinquiredoftheservants,butnothingmorewastobelearnt;sothenextmorninghesaddledhishorseandwenton。Atthefarmshecametothegoodoldoomsandtantesaskedhimtohavecoffee,andthelittleshoelesschildrenpeepedoutatthestrangerfrombehindovensandgables;butnoonehadseenwhatheaskedfor。Thiswayandthatherodetopickupthethreadhehaddropped,butthespiderandthewagon,thelittleladyandthehandsomegentleman,noonehadseen。Inthetownshefaredyetworse。
Onceindeedhopecametohim。Onthestoepofanhotelatwhichhestayedthenightinacertainlittlevillage,therewalkedagentleman,graveandkindly—looking。Itwasnothardtoopenconversationwithhimabouttheweather,andthen——Hadheeverseensuchandsuchpeople,agentlemanandalady,aspiderandwagon,arriveatthatplace?Thekindlygentlemanshookhishead。Whatwastheladylike,heinquired。
Gregorypainted。Hairlikesilkenfloss,smallmouth,underlipveryfullandpink,upperlippinkbutverythinandcurled;therewerefourwhitespotsonthenailofherrighthandforefinger,andhereyebrowswereverydelicatelycurved。
"Yes;andarose—budtingeinthecheeks;handslikelilies,andperfectlyseraphicsmile。"
"Thatisshe!thatisshe!"criedGregory。
Whoelsecoulditbe?Heaskedwhereshehadgoneto。Thegentlemanmostthoughtfullystrokedhisbeard。
Hewouldtrytoremember。Werenotherears——。Heresuchaviolentfitofcoughingseizedhimthatheranawayintothehouse。Anill—fedclerkandadirtybarmanstandinginthedoorwaylaughedaloud。Gregorywonderediftheycouldbelaughingatthegentleman’scough,andthenheheardsomeonelaughingintheroomintowhichthegentlemanhadgone。Hemustfollowhimandtrytolearnmore;buthesoonfoundthattherewasnothingmoretobelearntthere。PoorGregory!
Backwardandforward,backwardandforward,fromthedirtylittlehotelwherehehaddroppedthethread,tothisfarmandtothat,rodeGregory,tillhisheartwassickandtired。Thatfromthatspotthewagonmighthavegoneitsownwayandthespideranotherwasanideathatdidnotoccurtohim。Atlasthesawitwasnouselingeringinthatneighbourhood,andpressedon。
Onedaycomingtoalittletown,hishorsesknockedup,andheresolvedtorestthemthere。Thelittlehotelofthetownwasabrightandsunnyplace,likethejovialfaceofthecleanlittlewomanwhokeptit,andwhotrottedabouttalkingalways——talkingtothecustomersinthetaproom,andtothemaidsinthekitchen,andtothepassers—bywhenshecouldhailthemfromthewindows;talking,asgood—naturedwomenwithlargemouthsandsmallnosesalwaysdo,inseasonandout。
Therewasalittlefrontparlourinthehotel,keptforstrangerswhowantedtobealone。Gregorysattheretoeathisbreakfast,andthelandladydustedtheroomandtalkedofthegreatfindsattheDiamondFields,andthebadnessofmaid—servants,andtheshamefulconductoftheDutchparsoninthattowntotheEnglishinhabitants。Gregoryatehisbreakfastandlistenedtonothing。Hehadaskedhisonequestion,andhadhadhisanswer;nowshemighttalkon。
Presentlyadoorinthecorneropenedandawomancameout——aMozambiquer,witharedhandkerchieftwistedroundherhead。Shecarriedinherhandatray,withasliceoftoastcrumbledfine,andahalf—filledcupofcoffee,andaneggbrokenopen,butnoteaten。Herebonyfacegrinnedcomplacentlyassheshutthedoorsoftlyandsaid,"Goodmorning。"
Thelandladybegantotalktoher。
"Youarenotgoingtoleaveherreally,Ayah,areyou?"shesaid。"Themaidssayso;butI’msureyouwouldn’tdosuchathing。"
TheMozambiquergrinned。
"HusbandsaysImustgohome。"
"Butshehasn’tgotanyoneelse,andwon’thaveanyoneelse。Come,now,"
saidthelandlady,"I’venotimetobesittingalwaysinasickroom,notifIwaspaidanythingforit。"
TheMozambiqueronlyshowedherwhiteteethgood—naturedlyforanswer,andwentout,andthelandladyfollowedher。
Gregory,gladtobealone,watchedthesunshineasitcameoverthefuchsiasinthewindow,andranupanddownonthepanelleddoorinthecorner。TheMozambiquerhadcloseditlooselybehindher,andpresentlysomethingtoucheditinside。Itmovedalittle,thenitwasstill,thenmovedagain;thenthroughthegapasmallnoseappeared,andayellowearoverlappingoneeye;thenthewholeheadobtruded,placeditselfcriticallyononeside,wrinkleditsnosedisapprovinglyatGregory,andwithdrew。
Throughthehalf—opendoorcameafaintscentofvinegar,andtheroomwasdarkandstill。
Presentlythelandladycameback。
"Leftthedooropen,"shesaid,bustlingtoshutit;"butadarkywillbeadarky,andnevercarriesaheadonitsshoulderslikeotherfolks。Notill,Ihopesir?"shesaid,lookingatGregorywhenshehadshutthebedroomdoor。
"No,"saidGregory,"no。"
Thelandladybeganputtingthethingstogether。
"Who,"askedGregory,"isinthatroom?"
Gladtohavealittleinnocentpieceofgossiptorelate,andsomeonewillingtohearit,thelandladymadethemostofalittlestoryassheclearedthetable。Sixmonthsbeforealadyhadcomealonetothehotelinawagon,withonlyacolouredleaderanddriver。Eightdaysafteralittlebabyhadbeenborn。
IfGregorystoodupandlookedoutatthewindowhewouldseeabluegum—
treeinthegraveyard;closebyitwasalittlegrave。Thebabywasburiedthere。Atinything——onlylivedtwohours,andthemotherherselfalmostwentwithit。Afterawhileshewasbetter;butonedayshegotupoutofbed,dressedherselfwithoutsayingawordtoanyone,andwentout。Itwasadrizzlyday;alittletimeaftersomeonesawhersittingonthewetgroundunderthebluegum—tree,withtheraindrippingfromherhatandshawl。Theywenttofetchher,butshewouldnotcomeuntilshechose。
Whenshedid,shehadgonetobedandhadnotrisenagainfromit;neverwould,thedoctorsaid。
Shewasverypatient,poorthing。Whenyouwentintoaskherhowshewasshesaidalways"Better,"or"Nearlywell!"andlaystillinthedarkenedroom,andnevertroubledanyone。TheMozambiquertookcareofher,andshewouldnotallowanyoneelsetotouchher;wouldnotsomuchasallowanyoneelsetoseeherfootuncovered。Shewasstrangeinmanyways,butshepaidwell,poorthing;andnowtheMozambiquerwasgoing,andshewouldhavetotakeupwithsomeoneelse。
Thelandladyprattledonpleasantly,andnowcarriedawaythetraywiththebreakfastthings。WhenshewasgoneGregoryleanedhisheadonhishands,buthedidnotthinklong。
Beforedinnerhehadriddenoutofthetowntowhereonariseanumberoftransport—wagonswereoutspanned。TheDutchmandriverofonewonderedatthestranger’seagernesstofreehimselfofhishorses。Stolenperhaps;
butitwasworthhiswhiletobuythematsolowaprice。Sothehorseschangedmasters,andGregorywalkedoffwithhissaddlebagsslungacrosshisarm。Onceoutofsightofthewagonshestruckoutoftheroadandwalkedacrosstheveld,thedry,floweringgrasseswavingeverywhereabouthim;half—wayacrosstheplainhecametoadeepgullywhichtheraintorrentshadwashedout,butwhichwasnowdry。Gregorysprungdownintoitsredbed。Itwasasafeplace,andquiet。Whenhehadlookedabouthimhesatdownundertheshadeofanoverhangingbankandfannedhimselfwithhishat,fortheafternoonwashot,andhehadwalkedfast。Athisfeetthedustyantsranabout,andthehighredbankbeforehimwascoveredbyanetworkofrootsandfibreswashedbarebytherains。AbovehisheadrosetheclearblueAfricansky;athissidewerethesaddlebagsfullofwomen’sclothing。Gregorylookeduphalfplaintivelyintothebluesky。
"AmI,amIGregoryNazianzenRose?"hesaid。
Itwasalsostrange,hesittingthereinthatslootinthatup—countryplain!——strangeasthefantastic,changingshapesinasummercloud。Atlast,tiredout,hefellasleep,withhisheadagainstthebank。Whenhewoketheshadowhadstretchedacrossthesloot,andthesunwasontheedgeoftheplain。Nowhemustbeupanddoing。Hedrewfromhisbreastpocketalittlesixpennylooking—glass,andhungitononeoftherootsthatstuckoutfromthebank。Thenhedressedhimselfinoneoftheold—fashionedgownsandagreatpinked—outcollar。Thenhetookoutarazor。Tuftbytuftthesoftbrownbeardfelldownintothesand,andthelittleantstookittolinetheirnestswith。Thentheglassshowedafacesurroundedbyafrilledcap,whiteasawoman’s,withalittlemouth,averyshortupperlip,andarecedingchin。
Presentlyarathertallwoman’sfigurewasmakingitswayacrosstheveld。
Asitpassedahollowed—outantheapitkneltdown,andstuffedinthesaddlebagswiththeman’sclothing,closinguptheanthillwithbitsofgroundtolookasnaturalaspossible。Likeasinnerhidinghisdeedofsin,thehiderstartedonceandlookedround,butyettherewasnoonenearsaveameerkat,whohadliftedherselfoutofherholeandsatonherhindlegswatching。Hedidnotlikethatevensheshouldsee,andwhenheroseshedivedawayintoherhole。Thenhewalkedonleisurely,thattheduskmighthavereachedthevillagestreetsbeforehewalkedthere。Thefirsthousewasthesmith’s,andbeforetheopendoortwoidleurchinslolled。
Ashehurriedupthestreetinthegatheringgloomheheardthemlaughlongandloudlybehindhim。Heglancedroundfearingly,andwouldalmosthavefled,butthatthestrangeskirtsclungabouthislegs。Andafterallitwasonlyasparkthathadalightedontheheadofone,andnotthestrangefiguretheylaughedat。
Thedoorofthehotelstoodwideopen,andthelightfelloutintothestreet。Heknocked,andthelandladycame。Shepeeredouttolookforthecartthathadbroughtthetraveller;butGregory’sheartwasbravenowhewassonearthequietroom。Hetoldherhehadcomewiththetransportwagonsthatstoodoutsidethetown。
Hehadwalkedin,andwantedlodgingsforthenight。
Itwasadeliberatelie,gliblytold;hewouldhavetoldfifty,thoughtherecordingangelhadstoodinthenextroomwithhispendippedintheink。
Whatwasittohim?Herememberedthatshelaytheresayingalways:"Iambetter。"
Thelandladyputhissupperinthelittleparlourwherehehadsatinthemorning。Whenitwasonthetableshesatdownintherocking—chair,asherfashionwastoknitandtalk,thatshemightgathernewsforhercustomersinthetaproom。Inthewhitefaceunderthequeer,deep—fringedcapshesawnothingofthemorning’straveller。Thenewcomerwascommunicative。Shewasanursebyprofession,shesaid;hadcometotheTransvaal,hearingthatgoodnurseswereneededthere。Shehadnotyetfoundwork。Thelandladydidnotperhapsknowwhethertherewouldbeanyforherinthattown?
Thelandladyputdownherknittingandsmoteherfathandstogether。
Ifitwasn’ttheveryfingerofGod’sprovidence,asthoughyousawithangingoutofthesky,shesaid。Herewasaladyillandneedinganewnursethatveryday,andnotabletogetonetohermind,andnow——well,ifitwasn’tenoughtoconvertalltheAtheistsandFreethinkersintheTransvaal,shedidn’tknow!
Thenthelandladyproceededtodetailfacts。
"I’msureyouwillsuither,"sheadded;"you’rejustthekind。Shehasheapsofmoneytopayyouwith;haseverythingthatmoneycanbuy。AndI
gotaletterwithacheckinitforfiftypoundstheotherdayfromsomeone,whosaysI’mtospenditforher,andnottoletherknow。Sheisasleepnow,butI’lltakeyouintolookather。"
Thelandladyopenedthedoorofthenextroom,andGregoryfollowedher。A
tablestoodnearthebed,andalampburninglowstoodonit;thebedwasagreatfour—posterwithwhitecurtains,andthequiltwasofrichcrimsonsatin。ButGregorystoodjustinsidethedoorwithhisheadbentlow,andsawnofurther。
"Comenearer!I’llturnthelampupabit,thatyoucanhavealookather。Aprettything,isn’tit?"saidthelandlady。
Nearthefootofthebedwasadentinthecrimsonquilt,andoutofitDoss’smallheadandbrighteyeslookedknowingly。
ThenGregorylookedupatwhatlayonthecushion。Alittlewhite,whiteface,transparentasanangel’swithaclothboundroundtheforehead,andwithsofthairtossedaboutonthepillow。
"Wehadtocutitoff,"saidthewoman,touchingitwithherforefinger。
"Softassilk,likeawaxdoll’s。"
ButGregory’sheartwasbleeding。
"Nevergetupagain,thedoctorsays,"saidthelandlady。
Gregoryutteredoneword。Inaninstantthebeautifuleyesopenedwidely,lookedroundtheroomandintothedarkcorners。
"Whoishere?WhomdidIhearspeak?"
Gregoryhadsunkbackbehindthecurtain;thelandladydrewitaside,andpulledhimforward。
"Onlythislady,ma’am——anursebyprofession。Sheiswillingtostayandtakecareofyou,ifyoucancometotermswithher。"
Lyndallraisedherselfonherelbow,andcastonekeenscrutinizingglanceoverhim。
"HaveIneverseenyoubefore?"sheasked。
"No。"
Shefellbackwearily。
"Perhapsyouwouldliketoarrangethetermsbetweenyourselves,"saidthelandlady。"Hereisachair。Iwillbebackpresently。"
Gregorysatdown,withbentheadandquickbreath。Shedidnotspeak,andlaywithhalf—closedeyes,seemingtohaveforgottenhim。
"Willyouturnthelampdownalittle?"shesaidatlast;"Icannotbearthelight。"
Thenhisheartgrewbraverintheshadow,andhespoke。Nursingwastohim,hesaid,hischosenlife’swork。Hewantednomoneyif——Shestoppedhim。
"ItakenoserviceforwhichIdonotpay,"shesaid。"WhatIgavetomylastnurseIwillgivetoyou;ifyoudonotlikeityoumaygo。"
AndGregorymutteredhumbly,hewouldtakeit。
Afterwardshetriedtoturnherself。Heliftedher!Ah!ashrunkenlittlebody,hecouldfeelitsweaknessashetouchedit。Hishandsweretohimglorifiedforwhattheyhaddone。
"Thankyou!thatissonice。Otherpeoplehurtmewhentheytouchme,"shesaid。"Thankyou!"Thenafteralittlewhilesherepeatedhumbly,"Thankyou;theyhurtmeso。"
Gregorysatdowntrembling。Hislittleewe—lamb,couldtheyhurther?
ThedoctorsaidofGregoryfourdaysafter,"SheisthemostexperiencednurseIevercameincontactwith。"
Gregory,standinginthepassage,hearditandlaughedinhisheart。Whatneedhadheofexperience?Experienceteachesusinamillenniumwhatpassionteachesusinanhour。AKafferstudiesallhislifethediscerningofdistantsounds;buthewillneverhearmystep,whenmylovehearsit,comingtoherwindowinthedarkovertheshortgrass。
AtfirstGregory’sheartwassorewhendaybydaythebodygrewlighter,andthemouthhefedtookless;butafterwardhegrewaccustomedtoit,andwashappy。Forpassionhasonecry,oneonly——"Oh,totouchthee,Beloved!"
InthatquietroomLyndalllayonthebedwiththedogatherfeet,andGregorysatinhisdarkcornerwatching。
Sheseldomslept,andthroughthoselong,longdaysshewouldliewatchingtheroundstreakofsunlightthatcamethroughtheknotintheshutter,orthemassivelion’spawonwhichthewardroberested。Whatthoughtswereinthoseeyes?Gregorywondered;hedarednotask。
SometimesDosswherehelayonherfeetwoulddreamthattheytwowereinthecart,tearingovertheveld,withtheblackhorsessnorting,andthewindintheirfaces;andhewouldstartupinhissleepandbarkaloud。
Thenawaking,hewouldlickhismistress’handalmostremorsefully,andslinkquietlydownintohisplace。
Gregorythoughtshehadnopain,shenevergroaned;onlysometimes,whenthelightwasnearher,hethoughthecouldseecontractionsaboutherlipsandeyebrows。
Hesleptonthesofaoutsideherdoor。
Onenighthethoughtheheardasound,and,openingitsoftly,helookedin。Shewascryingoutaloud,asifsheandherpainwerealoneintheworld。Thelightfellontheredquilt,andthelittlehandsthatwereclaspedoverthehead。Thewide—openeyeswerelookingup,andtheheavydropsfellslowlyfromthem。
"Icannotbearanymore,notanymore,"shesaidinadeepvoice。"Oh,God,God!haveInotborneinsilence?HaveInotenduredtheselong,longmonths?Butnow,now,oh,God,Icannot!"
Gregorykneltinthedoorwaylistening。
"Idonotaskforwisdom,nothumanlove,notwork,notknowledge,notforallthingsIhavelongedfor,"shecried;"onlyalittlefreedomfrompain!
Onlyonelittlehourwithoutpain!ThenIwillsufferagain。"
Shesatup,andbitthelittlehandGregoryloved。
Hecreptawaytothefrontdoor,andstoodlookingoutatthequietstarlight。Whenhecamebackshewaslyinginherusualposture,thequieteyeslookingatthelion’sclaw。Hecameclosetothebed。
"Youhavemuchpaintonight?"heaskedher。
"No,notmuch。"
"CanIdoanythingforyou?"
"No,nothing。"
Shestilldrewherlipstogether,andmotionedwithherfingerstowardthedogwholaysleepingatherfeet。Gregoryliftedhimandlaidhimatherside。ShemadeGregoryturnopenthebosomofhernightdress,thatthedogmightputhisblackmuzzlebetweenherbreasts。Shecrossedherarmsoverhim。Gregoryleftthemlyingtheretogether。
Nextday,whentheyaskedherhowshewas,sheanswered"Better。"
"Someoneoughttotellher,"saidthelandlady;"wecan’tlethersoulgooutintoeternitynotknowing,especiallywhenIdon’tthinkitwasallrightaboutthechild。Yououghttogoandtellher,doctor。"
So,thelittledoctor,edgedonandon,wentinatlast。Whenhecameoutoftheroomheshookhisfistinthelandlady’sface。
"Thenexttimeyouhaveanydevil’sworktodo,doityourself,"hesaid,andheshookhisfistinherfaceagain,andwentawayswearing。
WhenGregorywentintothebedroomheonlyfoundhermoved,herbodycurledup,anddrawnclosetothewall。Hedarednotdisturbher。Atlast,afteralongtime,sheturned。
"Bringmefood,"shesaid,"Iwanttoeat。Twoeggs,andtoast,andmeat——
twolargeslicesoftoast,please。"
Wondering,Gregorybroughtatraywithallthatshehadaskedfor。
"Sitmeup,andputitclosetome,"shesaid;"Iamgoingtoeatitall。"
Shetriedtodrawthethingsnearherwithherfingers,andre—arrangedtheplates。Shecutthetoastintolongstrips,brokeopenbotheggs,putatinymorselofbreadintoherownmouth,andfedthedogwithpiecesofmeatputintohisjawswithherfingers。
"Isittwelveo’clockyet?"shesaid;"IthinkIdonotgenerallyeatsoearly。Putitaway,please,carefully——no,donottakeitaway——onlyonthetable。WhentheclockstrikestwelveIwilleatit。"
Shelaydowntrembling。Afteralittlewhileshesaid:
"Givememyclothes。"
Helookedather。
"Yes;Iamgoingtodresstomorrow。Ishouldgetupnow,butitisratherlate。Putthemonthatchair。Mycollarsareinthelittlebox,mybootsbehindthedoor。"
Hereyesfollowedhimintentlyashecollectedthearticlesonebyone,andplacedthemonthechairasshedirected。
"Putitnearer,"shesaid,"Icannotseeit;"andshelaywatchingtheclothes,withherhandunderhercheek。
"Nowopentheshutterwide,"shesaid;"Iamgoingtoread。"
Theold,oldtonewasagaininthesweetvoice。Heobeyedher;andopenedtheshutter,andraisedherupamongthepillows。
"Nowbringmybookstome,"shesaid,motioningeagerlywithherfingers;
"thelargebook,andthereviewsandtheplays——Iwantthemall。"
Hepiledthemroundheronthebed;shedrewthemgreedilycloser,hereyesverybright,butherfaceaswhiteasamountainlily。
"Nowthebigoneoffthedrawers。No,youneednothelpmetoholdmybook,"shesaid;"Icanholditformyself。"
Gregorywentbacktohiscorner,andforalittletimetherestlessturningoverofleaveswastobeheard。
"Willyouopenthewindow,"shesaid,almostquerulously,"andthrowthisbookout?Itissoutterlyfoolish。Ithoughtitwasavaluablebook;butthewordsaremerelystrungtogether,theymakenosense。Yes——so!"shesaidwithapproval,seeinghimflingitoutintothestreet。"ImusthavebeenveryfoolishwhenIthoughtthatbookgood。"
Thensheturnedtoread,andleanedherlittleelbowsresolutelyonthegreatvolume,andknitherbrows。ThiswasShakespeare——itmustmeansomething。
"Iwishyouwouldtakeahandkerchiefandtieittightroundmyhead,itachesso。"
Hehadnotbeenlonginhisseatwhenhesawdropsfallfrombeneaththehandsthatshadedtheeyes,ontothepage。
"Iamnotaccustomedtosomuchlight,itmakesmyheadswimalittle,"shesaid。"Gooutandclosetheshutter。"
Whenhecameback,shelayshrivelledupamongthepillows。
Heheardnosoundofweeping,buttheshouldersshook。Hedarkenedtheroomcompletely。
WhenGregorywenttohissofathatnight,shetoldhimtowakeherearly;
shewouldbedressedbeforebreakfast。Nevertheless,whenmorningcame,shesaiditwasalittlecold,andlayalldaywatchingherclothesuponthechair。Stillshesentforheroxeninthecountry;theywouldstartonMondayandgodowntotheColony。
Intheafternoonshetoldhimtoopenthewindowwide,anddrawthebednearit。
Itwasaleadenafternoon,thedullrain—cloudsrestedclosetotheroofsofthehouses,andthelittlestreetwassilentanddeserted。Nowandthenagustofwindeddyingroundcaughtupthedriedleaves,whirledthemhitherandthitherunderthetrees,anddroppedthemagainintothegutter;
thenallwasquiet。Shelaylookingout。
Presentlythebellofthechurchbegantotoll,andupthevillagestreetcamealongprocession。Theywerecarryinganoldmantohislastresting—
place。Shefollowedthemwithhereyestilltheyturnedinamongthetreesatthegate。
"Whowasthat?"sheasked。
"Anoldman,"heanswered,"averyoldman;theysayhewasninety—four;
buthisnameIdonotknow。"
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