首页 >出版文学> The Tale of Balen>第18章
  Thewatergatheredslowlyonhershawl,andfellontothewetstones;butshelaytherecryingbitterly。Forsothelivingsoulwillcrytothedead,andthecreaturetoitsGod;andofallthiscryingtherecomesnothing。Theliftingupofthehandsbringsnosalvation;redemptionisfromwithin,andneitherfromGodnorman;itiswroughtoutbythesoulitself,withsufferingandthroughtime。
  Doss,onthekitchendoorstep,shivered,andwonderedwherehismistressstayedsolong;andonce,sittingsadlythereinthedamp,hehaddroppedasleep,anddreamedthatoldOttogavehimapieceofbread,andpattedhimonthehead,andwhenhewokehisteethchattered,andhemovedtoanotherstonetoseeifitwasdrier。Atlastheheardhismistress’step,andtheywentintothehousetogether。Shelitacandle,andwalkedtotheBoer—woman’sbedroom。Onanailundertheladyinpinkhungthekeyofthewardrobe。Shetookitdownandopenedthegreatpress。Fromalittledrawershetookfiftypounds(allshehadintheworld),relockedthedoor,andturnedtohangupthekey。Themarksoftearswerestillonherface,butshesmiled。Thenshepaused,hesitated。
  "Fiftypoundsforalover!Anoblereward!"shesaid,andopenedthewardrobeandreturnedthenotestothedrawer,whereEmmightfindthem。
  Onceinherownroom,shearrangedthefewarticlessheintendedtotaketomorrow,burntheroldletters,andthenwentbacktothefrontroomtolookatthetime。Thereweretwohoursyetbeforeshemustcallhim。Shesatdownatthedressing—tabletowait,andleanedherelbowsonit,andburiedherfaceinherhands。Theglassreflectedthelittlebrownheadwithitsevenparting,andthetinyhandsonwhichitrested。"OnedayI
  willlovesomethingutterly,andthenIwillbebetter,"shesaidonce。
  Presentlyshelookedup。Thelarge,darkeyesfromtheglasslookedbackather。Shelookeddeepintothem。
  "Weareallalone,youandI,"shewhispered;"noonehelpsus,nooneunderstandsus;butwewillhelpourselves。"Theeyeslookedbackather。
  Therewasaworldofassuranceintheirstilldepths。Sotheyhadlookedathereversinceshecouldremember,whenitwasbutasmallchild’sfaceaboveabluepinafore。"Weshallneverbequitealone,youandI,"shesaid;"weshallalwaysbetogether,aswewerewhenwewerelittle。"
  Thebeautifuleyeslookedintothedepthsofhersoul。
  "Wearenotafraid;wewillhelpourselves!"shesaid。Shestretchedoutherhandandpresseditoverthemontheglass。"Deareyes!wewillneverbequitealonetilltheypartus——tillthen!"
  Chapter2。X。GregoryRoseHasAnIdea。
  GregoryRosewasintheloftputtingitneat。Outsidetherainpoured;asixmonths’droughthadbroken,andthethirstyplainwasdrenchedwithwater。Whatitcouldnotswallowranoffinmadrivuletstothegreatsloot,thatnowfoamedlikeanangryriveracrosstheflat。Eventhelittlefurrowbetweenthefarmhouseandthekraalswasnowastream,knee—
  deep,whichalmostboreawaytheKafferwomenwhocrossedit。Ithadrainedfortwenty—fourhours,andstilltherainpouredon。Thefowlshadcollected——amelancholycrowd——inandaboutthewagon—house,andthesolitarygander,whoalonehadsurvivedthesixmonths’wantofwater,walkedhitherandthither,printinghiswebbedfootmarksonthemud,tohavethemwashedoutthenextinstantbythepeltingrain,whichateleveno’clockstillbeatonthewallsandroofswithunabatedardour。
  Gregory,asheworkedintheloft,tooknonoticeofitbeyondstuffingasackintothebrokenpanetokeepitout;and,inspiteofthepeltandpatter,Em’sclearvoicemightbeheardthroughtheopentrap—doorfromthediningroom,whereshesatatwork,singingthe"BlueWater:"
  "Andtakemeaway,Andtakemeaway,Andtakemeaway,TotheBlueWater"——
  thatquaint,childishsongofthepeople,thathasaworldofsweetness,andsad,vagueyearningwhensungoverandoverdreamilybyawoman’svoiceasshesitsaloneatherwork。
  ButGregoryheardneitherthatnoryettheloudlaughteroftheKaffermaids,thateverynowandagainbrokethroughfromthekitchen,wheretheyjokedandworked。OflateGregoryhadgrownstrangelyimpervioustothesoundsandsightsabouthim。Hisleasehadrunout,butEmhadsaid,"Donotrenewit;Ineedonetohelpme;juststayon。"And,shehadadded,"Youmustnotremaininyourownlittlehouse;livewithme;youcanlookaftermyostrichesbetterso。"
  AndGregorydidnotthankher。Whatdifferencediditmaketohim,payingrentornot,livingthereornot;itwasallone。Butyethecame。Emwishedthathewouldstillsometimestalkofthestrengthofthemaster—
  rightofman;butGregorywasasonesmittenonthecheek—bone。
  Shemightdowhatshepleased,hewouldfindnofault,hadnowordtosay。
  Hehadforgottenthatitisman’srighttorule。Onthatrainymorninghehadlightedhispipeatthekitchenfire,andwhenbreakfastwasoverstoodinthefrontdoorwatchingthewaterrushdowntheroadtillthepipediedoutinhismouth。Emsawshemustdosomethingforhim,andfoundhimalargecalicoduster。Hehadsometimestalkedofputtingtheloftneat,andtodayshecouldfindnothingelseforhimtodo。Soshehadtheladderputtothetrap—doorthatheneednotgooutinthewet,andGregorywiththebroomanddustermountedtotheloft。Onceatworkheworkedhard。Hedusteddowntheveryrafters,andcleanedthebrokencandle—mouldsandbentforksthathadstuckinthethatchfortwentyyears。Heplacedtheblackbottlesneatlyinrowsonanoldboxinthecorner,andpiledtheskinsononeanother,andsortedtherubbishinalltheboxes;andateleveno’clockhisworkwasalmostdone。Heseatedhimselfonthepacking—casewhichhadonceheldWaldo’sbooks,andproceededtoexaminethecontentsofanotherwhichhehadnotyetlookedat。Itwascarelesslynaileddown。Heloosenedoneplank,andbegantoliftoutvariousarticlesoffemaleattire——old—fashionedcaps,aprons,dresseswithlongpointedbodiessuchasherememberedtohaveseenhismotherwearwhenhewasalittlechild。
  Heshookthemoutcarefullytoseetherewerenomoths,andthensatdowntofoldthemupagainonebyone。TheyhadbelongedtoEm’smother,andthebox,aspackedatherdeath,hadstooduntouchedandforgottentheselongyears。Shemusthavebeenatallwoman,thatmotherofEm’s,forwhenhestooduptoshakeoutadresstheneckwasonalevelwithhis,andtheskirttouchedtheground。Gregorylaidanightcapoutonhisknee,andbeganrollingupthestrings;butpresentlyhisfingersmovedslowerandslower,thenhischinrestedonhisbreast,andfinallytheimploringblueeyeswerefixedonthefrillabstractedly。WhenEm’svoicecalledtohimfromthefootoftheladderhestarted,andthrewthenightcapbehindhim。
  Shewasonlycometotellhimthathiscupofsoupwasready;and,whenhecouldhearthatshewasgone,hepickedupthenightcapagain,andagreatbrownsun—kapje——justsuchakapjeandsuchadressasoneofthoseherememberedtohaveseenasisterofmercywear。Gregory’smindwasveryfullofthought。Hetookdownafragmentofanoldlooking—glassfrombehindabeam,andputthekapjeon。Hisbeardlookedsomewhatgrotesqueunderit;heputuphishandtohideit——thatwasbetter。Theblueeyeslookedoutwiththemildgentlenessthatbecameeyeslookingoutfromunderakapje。Nexthetookthebrowndress,and,lookingroundfurtively,slippeditoverhishead。Hehadjustgothisarmsinthesleeves,andwastryingtohookuptheback,whenanincreaseinthepatteroftherainatthewindowmadehimdragitoffhastily。Whenheperceivedtherewasnoonecominghetumbledthethingsbackintothebox,and,coveringitcarefully,wentdowntheladder。
  Emwasstillatherwork,tryingtoadjustanewneedleinthemachine。
  Gregorydrankhissoup,andthensatbeforeher,anawfulandmysteriouslookinhiseyes。
  "Iamgoingtotowntomorrow,"hesaid。
  "I’malmostafraidyouwon’tbeabletogo,"saidEm,whowasintentonherneedle;"Idon’tthinkitisgoingtoleaveofftoday。"
  "Iamgoing,"saidGregory。
  Emlookedup。
  "Buttheslootsareasfullasrivers;youcannotgo。Wecanwaitforthepost,"shesaid。
  "Iamnotgoingforthepost,"saidGregory,impressively。
  Emlookedforexplanation;nonecame。
  "Whenwillyoubeback?"
  "Iamnotcomingback。"
  "Areyougoingtoyourfriends?"
  Gregorywaited,thencaughtherbythewrist。
  "Lookhere,Em,"hesaidbetweenhisteeth,"Ican’tstanditanymore。I
  amgoingtoher。"
  Sincethatday,whenhehadcomehomeandfoundLyndallgone,hehadnevertalkedofher;butEmknewwhoitwaswhoneededtobespokenofbynoname。
  Shesaid,whenhehadreleasedherhand:
  "Butyoudonotknowwheresheis?"
  "Yes,Ido。ShewasinBloemfonteinwhenIheardlast。Iwillgothere,andIwillfindoutwhereshewentthen,andthen,andthen!Iwillhaveher。"
  Emturnedthewheelquickly,andtheill—adjustedneedlesprungintotwentyfragments。
  "Gregory,"shesaid,"shedoesnotwantus;shetoldussoclearlyinthelettershewrote。"Aflushroseonherfaceasshespoke。"Itwillonlybepaintoyou,Gregory:Willsheliketohaveyounearher?"
  Therewasananswerhemighthavemade,butitwashissecret,andhedidnotchoosetoshareit。Hesaidonly:
  "Iamgoing。"
  "Willyoubegonelong,Gregory?"
  "Idonotknow;perhapsIshallnevercomeback。Dowhatyoupleasewithmythings。Icannotstayhere!"
  Herosefromhisseat。
  "Peoplesay,forget,forget!"hecried,pacingtheroom。Theyaremad!
  theyarefools!Dotheysaysotomenwhoaredyingofthirst——forget,forget?Whyisitonlytoustheysayso!Itisalietosaythattimemakesiteasy;itisafterward,afterwardthatiteatsinatyourheart!
  "Allthesemonths,"hecriedbitterly,"Ihavelivedherequietly,dayafterday,asifIcaredforwhatIate,andwhatIdrank,andwhatIdid!
  Icarefornothing!Icannotbearit!Iwillnot!Forget!forget!"
  ejaculatedGregory。"Youcanforgetalltheworld,butyoucannotforgetyourself。Whenonethingismoretoyouthanyourself,howareyoutoforgetit?
  "Iread,"hesaid——"yes;andthenIcometoawordsheused,anditisallbackwithmeagain!Igotocountmysheep,andIseeherfacebeforeme,andIstandandletthesheeprunby。Ilookatyou,andinyoursmile,asomethingatthecornerofyourlips,Iseeher。HowcanIforgetherwhen,wheneverIturn,sheisthere,andnotthere?Icannot,Iwillnot,livewhereIdonotseeher。
  "Iknowwhatyouthink,"hesaid,turninguponher。"YouthinkIammad;
  youthinkIamgoingtoseewhethershewillnotlikeme!Iamnotsofoolish。Ishouldhaveknownatfirstshenevercouldsufferme。WhoamI,whatamI,thatsheshouldlookatme?Itwasrightthatsheleftme;
  rightthatsheshouldnotlookatme。Ifanyonesaysitisnot,itisalie!Iamnotgoingtospeaktoher,"headded——"onlytoseeher;onlytostandsometimesinaplacewhereshehasstoodbefore。"
  Chapter2。XI。AnUnfinishedLetter。
  GregoryRosehadbeengonesevenmonths。Emsataloneonawhitesheepskinbeforethefire。
  TheAugustnight—wind,weirdandshrill,howledroundthechimneysandthroughthecrannies,andinwallsanddoors,andutteredalonglowcryasitforceditswayamongthecleftsofthestonesonthekopje。Itwasawildnight。Theprickly—peartree,stiffanduprightasithelditsarms,feltthewind’smight,andknockeditsflatleavesheavilytogether,tillgreatbranchesbrokeoff。TheKaffers,astheysleptintheirstrawhuts,whisperedonetoanotherthatbeforemorningtherewouldnotbeanarmfulofthatchleftontheroofs;andthebeamsofthewagon—housecreakedandgroanedasifitwereheavyworktoresisttheimportunityofthewind。
  Emhadnotgonetobed。Whocouldsleeponanightlikethis?Sointhediningroomshehadlightedafire,andsatonthegroundbeforeit,turningtheroaster—cakesthatlayonthecoalstobake。Itwouldsaveworkinthemorning;andsheblewoutthelightbecausethewindthroughthewindow—chinksmadeitflickerandrun;andshesatsingingtoherselfasshewatchedthecakes。Theylayatoneendofthewidehearthonabedofcoals,andattheotherendafireburntupsteadily,castingitsamberglowoverEm’slighthairandblackdress,withtheruffleofcrepeabouttheneck,andoverthewhitecurlsofthesheepskinonwhichshesat。
  Louderandmorefiercelyyethowledthestorm;butEmsangon,andheardnothingbutthewordsofhersong,andheardthemonlyfaintly,assomethingrestful。Itwasanold,childishsongshehadoftenheardhermothersinglongago:
  Wherethereedsdancebytheriver,Wherethewillow’ssongissaid,Onthefaceofthemorningwater,Isreflectedawhiteflower’shead。
  Shefoldedherhandsandsangthenextversedreamily:
  Wherethereedsshakebytheriver,Wherethemoonlight’ssheenisshed,Onthefaceofthesleepingwater,Twoleavesofawhiteflowerfloatdead。
  Dead,Dead,Dead!
  Sheechoedtherefrainsoftlytillitdiedaway,andthenrepeatedit。Itwasasif,unknowntoherself,itharmonizedwiththepicturesandthoughtsthatsatwithhertherealoneinthefirelight。Sheturnedthecakesover,whilethewindhurleddownarowofbricksfromthegable,andmadethewallstremble。
  Presentlyshepausedandlistened;therewasasoundasofsomethingknockingattheback—doorway。Butthewindhadraiseditslevelhigher,andshewentonwithherwork。Atlastthesoundwasrepeated。Thensherose,litthecandleandthefire,andwenttosee。Onlytosatisfyherself,shesaid,thatnothingcouldbeoutonsuchanight。
  Sheopenedthedooralittleway,andheldthelightbehindhertodefenditfromthewind。Thefigureofatallmanstoodthere,andbeforeshecouldspeakhehadpushedhiswayin,andwasforcingthedoortoclosebehindhim。
  "Waldo!"shecriedinastonishment。
  Hehadbeengonemorethanayearandahalf。
  "Youdidnotexpecttoseeme,"heanswered,asheturnedtowardher;"I
  shouldhavesleptintheouthouse,andnottroubledyoutonight;butthroughtheshutterIsawglimmeringsofalight。"
  "Comeintothefire,"shesaid;"itisaterrificnightforanycreaturetobeout。Shallwenotgoandfetchyourthingsinfirst?"sheadded。
  "Ihavenothingbutthis,"hesaid,motioningtothelittlebundleinhishand。
  "Yourhorse?"
  "Isdead。"
  Hesatdownonthebenchbeforethefire。
  "Thecakesarealmostready,"shesaid;"Iwillgetyousomethingtoeat。
  Wherehaveyoubeenwanderingallthiswhile?"
  "Upanddown,upanddown,"heansweredwearily;"andnowthewhimhasseizedmetocomebackhere。Em,"hesaid,puttinghishandonherarmasshepassedhim,"haveyouheardfromLyndalllately?"
  "Yes,"saidEm,turningquicklyfromhim。
  "Whereisshe?Ihadoneletterfromher,butthatisalmostayearagonow——justwhensheleft。Whereisshe?"
  "IntheTransvaal。Iwillgoandgetyousomesupper;wecantalkafterward。"
  "Canyougivemeherexactaddress?Iwanttowritetoher。"
  ButEmhadgoneintothenextroom。
  Whenfoodwasonthetableshekneltdownbeforethefire,turningthecakes,babblingrestlessly,eagerly,nowofthis,nowofthat。Shewasgladtoseehim——TantSanniewascomingsoontoshowherhernewbaby——hemuststayonthefarmnow,andhelpher。AndWaldohimselfwaswellcontenttoeathismealinsilence,askingnomorequestions。
  "Gregoryiscomingbacknextweek,"shesaid;"hewillhavebeengonejustahundredandthreedaystomorrow。Ihadaletterfromhimyesterday。"
  "Wherehashebeen?"
  Buthiscompanionstoopedtoliftacakefromthefire。
  "Howthewindblows!Onecanhardlyhearone’sownvoice,"shesaid。
  "Takethiswarmcake;noone’scakesarelikemine。Why,youhaveeatennothing!"
  "Iamalittleweary,"hesaid;"thewindwasmadtonight。"
  Hefoldedhisarms,andrestedhisheadagainstthefireplace,whilstsheremovedthedishesfromthetable。Onthemantelpiecestoodaninkpotandsomesheetsofpaper。Presentlyhetookthemdownandturnedupthecornerofthetablecloth。
  "Iwillwriteafewlines,"hesaid;"tillyouarereadytositdownandtalk。"
  Em,assheshookoutthetablecloth,watchedhimbendingintentlyoverhispaper。Hehadchangedmuch。Hisfacehadgrownthinner;hischeekswerealmosthollow,thoughtheywerecoveredbyadarkgrowthofbeard。
  Shesatdownontheskinbesidehim,andfeltthelittlebundleonthebench;itwaspainfullysmallandsoft。Perhapsitheldashirtandabook,butnothingmore。Theoldblackhathadapieceofunhemmedmuslintwistedroundit,andonhiselbowwasalargepatchsofixedonwithyellowthreadthatherheartached。Onlyhishairwasnotchanged,andhunginsilkybeautifulwavesalmosttohisshoulders。
  Tomorrowshewouldtaketheraggededgeoffhiscollar,andputanewbandroundhishat。Shedidnotinterrupthim,butshewonderedhowitwasthathesattowritesointentlyafterhislongwearywalk。Hewasnottirednow;hispenhurriedquicklyandrestlesslyoverthepaper,andhiseyewasbright。PresentlyEmraisedherhandtoherbreast,wherelaytheletteryesterdayhadbroughther。Soonshehadforgottenhim,asentirelyashehadforgottenher;eachwasinhisownworldwithhisown。HewaswritingtoLyndall。Hewouldtellherallhehadseen,allhehaddone,thoughitwerenothingworthrelating。Heseemedtohavecomebacktoher,andtobetalkingtohernowhesatthereintheoldhouse。
  "——andthenIgottothenexttown,andmyhorsewastired,soIcouldgonofurther,andlookedforwork。Ashopkeeperagreedtohiremeassalesman。Hemademesignapromisetoremainsixmonths,andhegavemealittleemptyroomatthebackofthestoretosleepin。Ihadstillthreepoundsofmyown,andwhenyoujustcomefromthecountrythreepoundsseemsagreatdeal。
  "WhenIhadbeenintheshopthreedaysIwantedtogoawayagain。Aclerkinashophasthelowestworktodoofallthepeople。Itismuchbettertobreakstones;youhavetheblueskyaboveyou,andonlythestonestobendto。Iaskedmymastertoletmego,andIofferedtogivehimmytwopounds,andthebagofmealiesIhadboughtwiththeotherpound;buthewouldnot。
  "Ifoundoutafterwardhewasonlygivingmehalfasmuchashegavetotheothers——thatwaswhy。IhadfearwhenIlookedattheotherclerksthatI
  wouldatlastbecomelikethem。Alldaytheywerebowingandsmirkingtothewomenwhocamein;smiling,whenalltheywantedwastogettheirmoneyfromthem。Theyusedtorunandfetchthedressesandribbonstoshowthem,andtheyseemedtomelikewormswithoilon。Therewasonerespectablethinginthatstore——itwastheKafferstoreman。Hisworkwastoloadandunload,andheneverneededtosmileexceptwhenheliked,andhenevertoldlies。
  "TheotherclerksgavemethenameofOldSalvation;buttherewasonepersonIlikedverymuch。Hewasclerkinanotherstore。Heoftenwentpastthedoor。Heseemedtomenotlikeothers——hisfacewasbrightandfreshlikealittlechild’s。WhenhecametotheshopIfeltIlikedhim。
  OnedayIsawabookinhispocket,andthatmademefeelnearhim。I
  askedhimifhewasfondofreading,andhesaid,yes,whentherewasnothingelsetodo。Thenextdayhecametome,andaskedmeifIdidnotfeellonely;heneversawmegoingoutwiththeotherfellows;hewouldcomeandseemethatevening,hesaid。
  "Iwasglad,andboughtsomemeatandflour,becausethegreymareandI
  alwaysatemealies;itisthecheapestthing;whenyouboilithardyoucan’teatmuchofit。Imadesomecakes,andIfoldedmygreatcoatontheboxtomakeitsofterforhim;andatlasthecame。
  "’You’vegotarummyplacehere,’hesaid。
  "Youseetherewasnothinginitbutpacking—casesforfurniture,anditwasratherempty。WhileIwasputtingthefoodontheboxhelookedatmybooks;hereadtheirnamesoutaloud。’ElementaryPhysiology,’’FirstPrinciples。’
  "’Golly!’hesaid;’I’vegotalotofdrystufflikethatathomeIgotforSunday—schoolprizes;butIonlykeepthemtolightmypipewithnow;theycomeinhandyforthat。’ThenheaskedmeifIhadeverreadabookcalledthe’Black—eyedCreole。’’Thatisthestyleforme,’hesaid;’therewherethefellowtakesthenigger—girlbythearm,andtheotherfellowcutsitoff!That’swhatIlike。’
  "ButwhathesaidafterthatIdon’tremember,onlyitmademefeelasifI
  werehavingabaddream,andIwantedtobefaraway。
  "Whenhehadfinishedeatinghedidnotstaylong;hehadtogoandseesomegirlshomefromaprayer—meeting;andheaskedhowitwasheneversawmewalkingoutwithanyonSundayafternoons。Hesaidhehadlotsofsweethearts,andhewasgoingtoseeonethenextWednesdayonafarm,andheaskedmetolendmymare。Itoldhimshewasveryold。Buthesaiditdidn’tmatter;hewouldcomethenextdaytofetchher。
  "Afterhewasgonemylittleroomgotbacktoitsoldlook。Iloveditso;
  Iwassogladtogetintoitatnight,anditseemedtobereproachingmeforbringinghimthere。Thenextdayhetookthegreymare。OnThursdayhedidnotbringherback,andonFridayIfoundthesaddleandbridlestandingatmydoor。
  "Intheafternoonhelookedintotheshop,andcalledout:’Hopeyougotyoursaddle,Farber?Yourbag—of—boneskickedoutsixmilesfromhere。
  I’llsendyouacoupleofshillingstomorrow,thoughtheoldhidewasn’tworthit。Goodmorning。’
  "ButIsprungoverthecounter,andgothimbyhisthroat。Myfatherwassogentlewithher;heneverwouldrideheruphill,andnowthisfellowhadmurderedher!Iaskedhimwherehehadkilledher,andIshookhimtillheslippedoutofmyhand。Hestoodinthedoorgrinning。
  "’Itdidn’ttakemuchtokillthatbag—of—bones,whosemastersleepsinapacking—case,andwaitstillhiscompany’sfinishedtoeatontheplate。
  Shouldn’twonderifyoufedheronsugar—bags,’hesaid;’andifyouthinkI’vejumpedher,you’dbettergoandlookyourself。You’llfindheralongtheroadbytheaasvogelsthatareeatingher。’
  "Icaughthimbyhiscollar,andIliftedhimfromtheground,andIthrewhimoutintothestreet,half—wayacrossit。Iheardthebookkeepersaytotheclerkthattherewasalwaysthedevilinthosemumfellows;buttheynevercalledmeSalvationafterthat。
  "Iamwritingtoyouofverysmallthings,butthereisnothingelsetotell;ithasbeenallsmallandyouwilllikeit。WheneveranythinghashappenedIhavealwaysthoughtIwouldtellittoyou。Thebackthoughtinmymindisalwaysyou。Afterthatonlyoneoldmancametovisitme。I
  hadseenhiminthestreetsoften;healwaysworeverydirtyblackclothes,andahatwithcreperoundit,andhehadoneeye,soInoticedhim。Onedayhecametomyroomwithasubscription—listforaminister’ssalary。
  WhenIsaidIhadnothingtogivehelookedatmewithhisoneeye。
  "’Youngman,’hesaid,’howisitIneverseeyouinthehouseoftheLord?’Ithoughthewastryingtodogood,soIfeltsorryforhim,andI
  toldhimIneverwenttochapel。’Youngman,’hesaid,’itgrievesmetohearsuchgodlesswordsfromthelipsofonesoyoung——sofargoneinthepathsofdestruction。Youngman,ifyouforgetGod,Godwillforgetyou。
  Thereisaseatontheright—handsideasyougoatthebottomdoorthatyoumayget。Ifyouaregivenovertotheenjoymentandfrivolitiesofthisworld,whatwillbecomeofyourneverdyingsoul?’
  "HewouldnotgotillIgavehimhalfacrownfortheminister’ssalary。
  AfterwardIheardhewasthemanwhocollectedthepewrentsandgotapercentage。Ididn’tgettoknowanyoneelse。
  "WhenmytimeinthatshopwasdoneIhiredmyselftodriveoneofatransport—rider’swagons。
  "Thatfirstmorning,whenIsatinthefrontandcalledtomyoxen,andsawnothingaboutmebutthehills,withthebluecomingdowntothem,andthekaroobushes,Iwasdrunk;Ilaughed;myheartwasbeatingtillithurtme。
  Ishutmyeyestight,thatwhenIopenedthemImightseetherewerenoshelvesaboutme。Theremustbeabeautyinbuyingandselling,ifthereisbeautyineverything:butitisveryuglytome。Mylifeastransport—
  riderwouldhavebeenthebestlifeintheworldifIhadhadonlyonewagontodrive。Mymastertoldmehewoulddriveone,Itheother,andhewouldhireanotherpersontodrivethethird。ButthefirstdayIdrovetwotohelphim,andafterthatheletmedriveallthree。Wheneverwecametoanhotelhestoppedbehindtogetadrink,andwhenherodeuptothewagonshecouldneverstand;theHottentotandIusedtolifthimup。
  Wealwaystravelledallnight,andusedtooutspanforfiveorsixhoursintheheatofthedaytorest。IplannedthatIwouldlieunderawagonandreadforanhourortwoeverydaybeforeIwenttosleep,andIdidforthefirsttwoorthree;butafterthatIonlywantedtosleep,liketherest,andIpackedmybooksaway。