"Aren’tyougoingtosing,Silvo?"sheaskedteasingly。
Theboyturnedonhissideandraisedhimselfonhiselbowforamoment。"Notthisnight,SENORITA,"hepleadedsoftly,"notthisnight!"Hedroppedbackagain,andlaywithhischeekonhisrightarm,thehandlyingpassiveonthesandabovehishead。
"Howdoesheflattenhimselfintothegroundlikethat?"
Theaaskedherself。"IwishIknew。It’sveryeffective,somehow。"
AcrossthegulchtheKohlers’littlehousesleptamongitstrees,adarkspotonthewhitefaceofthedesert。Thewindowsoftheirupstairsbedroomwereopen,andPaulinahadlistenedtothedancemusicforalongwhilebeforeshedrowsedoff。Shewasalightsleeper,andwhenshewokeagain,aftermidnight,Johnny’sconcertwasatitsheight。
Shelaystilluntilshecouldbearitnolonger。ThenshewakenedFritzandtheywentovertothewindowandleanedout。Theycouldhearclearlythere。
"DIETHEA,"whisperedMrs。Kohler;"itmustbe。ACH,WUNDERSCHON!"
Fritzwasnotsowideawakeashiswife。Hegruntedand
scratchedonthefloorwithhisbarefoot。Theywerelis—
teningtoaMexicanpart—song;thetenor,thenthesoprano,thenbothtogether;thebarytonejoinsthem,rages,isextinguished;thetenorexpiresinsobs,andthesopranofinishesalone。Whenthesoprano’slastnotediedaway,Fritznoddedtohiswife。"JA,"hesaid;"SCHON。"
Therewassilenceforafewmoments。Thentheguitarsoundedfiercely,andseveralmalevoicesbeganthesextettefrom"Lucia。"Johnny’sreedytenortheyknewwell,andthebricklayer’sbig,opaquebarytone;theothersmightbeanybodyoverthere——justMexicanvoices。Thenattheappointed,attheacute,moment,thesopranovoice,likeafountainjet,shotupintothelight。"HORCH!HORCH!"theoldpeoplewhispered,bothatonce。Howitleapedfromamongthoseduskymalevoices!Howitplayedinandaboutandaroundandoverthem,likeagoldfishdartingamongcreekminnows,likeayellowbutterflysoaringaboveaswarmofdarkones。"Ah,"saidMrs。Kohlersoftly,"thedearman;ifhecouldhearhernow!"
XI
MRS。KRONBORGhadsaidthatTheawasnottobedisturbedonSundaymorning,andshesleptuntilnoon。Whenshecamedownstairsthefamilywerejustsittingdowntodinner,Mr。Kronborgatoneendofthelongtable,Mrs。Kronborgattheother。Anna,stiffandceremonious,inhersummersilk,satatherfather’sright,andtheboyswerestrungalongoneithersideofthetable。
TherewasaplaceleftforTheabetweenhermotherandThor。Duringthesilencewhichprecededtheblessing,Theafeltsomethinguncomfortableintheair。Annaandherolderbrothershadloweredtheireyeswhenshecamein。Mrs。Kronborgnoddedcheerfully,andafterthebless—
ing,asshebegantopourthecoffee,turnedtoher。
"Iexpectyouhadagoodtimeatthatdance,Thea。I
hopeyougotyoursleepout。"
"Highsociety,that,"remarkedCharley,givingthemashedpotatoesaviciousswat。Anna’smouthandeye—
browsbecamehalf—moons。
Thealookedacrossthetableattheuncompromisingcountenancesofherolderbrothers。"Why,what’sthematterwiththeMexicans?"sheasked,flushing。"Theydon’ttroubleanybody,andtheyarekindtotheirfamiliesandhavegoodmanners。"
"Nicecleanpeople;gotsomestyleaboutthem。Doyoureallylikethatkind,Thea,ordoyoujustpretendto?
That’swhatI’dliketoknow。"Guslookedatherwithpainedinquiry。Butheatleastlookedather。
"They’rejustascleanaswhitepeople,andtheyhaveaperfectrighttotheirownways。OfcourseIlike’em。
Idon’tpretendthings。"
"Everybodyaccordingtotheirowntaste,"remarked
Charleybitterly。"Quitcrumbingyourbreadup,Thor。
Ain’tyoulearnedhowtoeatyet?"
"Children,children!"saidMr。Kronborgnervously,lookingupfromthechickenhewasdismembering。Heglancedathiswife,whomheexpectedtomaintainhar—
monyinthefamily。
"That’sallright,Charley。Dropitthere,"saidMrs。
Kronborg。"NousespoilingyourSundaydinnerwithraceprejudices。TheMexicanssuitmeandTheaverywell。Theyareausefulpeople。Nowyoucanjusttalkaboutsomethingelse。"
Conversation,however,didnotflourishatthatdinner。
Everybodyateasfastaspossible。CharleyandGussaidtheyhadengagementsandleftthetableassoonastheyfinishedtheirapplepie。Annasatprimlyandatewithgreatelegance。Whenshespokeatallshespoketoherfather,aboutchurchmatters,andalwaysinacommiserat—
ingtone,asifhehadmetwithsomemisfortune。Mr。
Kronborg,quiteinnocentofherintentions,repliedkindlyandabsent—mindedly。AfterthedesserthewenttotakehisusualSundayafternoonnap,andMrs。Kronborgcarriedsomedinnertoasickneighbor。TheaandAnnabegantoclearthetable。
"Ishouldthinkyouwouldshowmoreconsiderationforfather’sposition,Thea,"Annabeganassoonassheandhersisterwerealone。
Theagaveherasidelongglance。"Why,whathaveI
donetofather?"
"EverybodyatSunday—SchoolwastalkingaboutyougoingoverthereandsingingwiththeMexicansallnight,whenyouwon’tsingforthechurch。Somebodyheardyou,andtolditallovertown。Ofcourse,weallgettheblameforit。"
"Anythingdisgracefulaboutsinging?"Theaaskedwithaprovokingyawn。
"Imustsayyouchooseyourcompany!Youalways
hadthatstreakinyou,Thea。Weallhopedthatgoingawaywouldimproveyou。Ofcourse,itreflectsonfatherwhenyouarescarcelypolitetothenicepeoplehereandmakeuptotherowdies。"
"Oh,it’smysingingwiththeMexicansyouobjectto?"
Theaputdownatrayfullofdishes。"Well,Iliketosingoverthere,andIdon’tliketooverhere。I’llsingforthemanytimetheyaskmeto。TheyknowsomethingaboutwhatI’mdoing。They’reatalentedpeople。"
"Talented!"Annamadethewordsoundlikeescapingsteam。"Isupposeyouthinkit’ssmarttocomehomeandthrowthatatyourfamily!"
Theapickedupthetray。BythistimeshewasaswhiteastheSundaytablecloth。"Well,"sherepliedinacold,eventone,"I’llhavetothrowitatthemsoonerorlater。
It’sjustaquestionofwhen,anditmightaswellbenowasanytime。"Shecarriedthetrayblindlyintothekitchen。
Tillie,whowasalwayslisteningandlookingoutforher,tookthedishesfromherwithafurtive,frightenedglanceatherstonyface。Theawentslowlyupthebackstairstoherloft。Herlegsseemedasheavyasleadassheclimbedthestairs,andshefeltasifeverythinginsideherhadsolidi—
fiedandgrownhard。
Aftershuttingherdoorandlockingit,shesatdownontheedgeofherbed。Thisplacehadalwaysbeenherrefuge,buttherewasahostilityinthehousenowwhichthisdoorcouldnotshutout。Thiswouldbeherlastsummerinthatroom。Itsserviceswereover;itstimewasdone。Sheroseandputherhandonthelowceiling。Twotearsrandownhercheeks,asiftheycamefromicethatmeltedslowly。
Shewasnotreadytoleaveherlittleshell。Shewasbeingpulledouttoosoon。Shewouldneverbeabletothinkanywhereelseaswellashere。Shewouldneversleepsowellorhavesuchdreamsinanyotherbed;evenlastnight,suchsweet,breathlessdreams——Theahidherfaceinthepillow。Wherevershewentshewouldliketotakethatlittle
bedwithher。Whenshewentawayfromitforgood,shewouldleavesomethingthatshecouldneverrecover;mem—
oriesofpleasantexcitement,ofhappyadventuresinhermind;ofwarmsleeponhowlingwinternights,andjoyousawakeningsonsummermornings。Therewerecertaindreamsthatmightrefusetocometoheratallexceptinalittlemorningcave,facingthesun——wheretheycametohersopowerfully,wheretheybeatatriumphinher!
Theroomwashotasanoven。Thesunwasbeatingfiercelyontheshinglesbehindtheboardceiling。Sheun—
dressed,andbeforeshethrewherselfuponherbedinherchemise,shefrownedatherselfforalongwhileinherlook—
ing—glass。Yes,sheandItmustfightitouttogether。Thethingthatlookedatheroutofherowneyeswastheonlyfriendshecouldcounton。Oh,shewouldmakethesepeoplesorryenough!Therewouldcomeatimewhentheywouldwanttomakeitupwithher。But,neveragain!Shehadnolittlevanities,onlyonebigone,andshewouldneverforgive。
Hermotherwasallright,buthermotherwasapartofthefamily,andshewasnot。Inthenatureofthings,hermotherhadtobeonbothsides。Theafeltthatshehadbeenbetrayed。Atrucehadbeenbrokenbehindherback。
ShehadneverhadmuchindividualaffectionforanyofherbrothersexceptThor,butshehadneverbeendisloyal,neverfeltscornorheldgrudges。AsalittlegirlshehadalwaysbeengoodfriendswithGunnerandAxel,whenevershehadtimetoplay。Evenbeforeshegotherownroom,whentheywereallsleepinganddressingtogether,likelittlecubs,andbreakfastinginthekitchen,shehadledanabsorbingpersonallifeofherown。Butshehadacubloyaltytotheothercubs。Shethoughtthemniceboysandtriedtomakethemgettheirlessons。Sheoncefoughtabullywho"pickedon"Axelatschool。ShenevermadefunofAnna’scrimpingsandcurlingsandbeauty—rites。
Theahadalwaystakenitforgrantedthathersisterand
brothersrecognizedthatshehadspecialabilities,andthattheywereproudofit。Shehaddonethemthehonor,shetoldherselfbitterly,tobelievethatthoughtheyhadnoparticularendowments,THEYWEREOFHERKIND,andnotoftheMoonstonekind。Nowtheyhadallgrownupandbe—
comepersons。Theyfacedeachotherasindividuals,andshesawthatAnnaandGusandCharleywereamongthepeoplewhomshehadalwaysrecognizedashernaturalenemies。Theirambitionsandsacredproprietiesweremeaninglesstoher。ShehadneglectedtocongratulateCharleyuponhavingbeenpromotedfromthegroceryde—
partmentofCommings’sstoretothedrygoodsdepart—
ment。Hermotherhadreprovedherforthisomission。Andhowwasshetoknow,Theaaskedherself,thatAnnaex—
pectedtobeteasedbecauseBertRicenowcameandsatinthehammockwithhereverynight?No,itwasallclearenough。Nothingthatshewouldeverdointheworldwouldseemimportanttothem,andnothingtheywouldeverdowouldseemimportanttoher。
Thealaythinkingintentlyallthroughthestiflingafter—
noon。Tilliewhisperedsomethingoutsideherdooronce,butshedidnotanswer。Shelayonherbeduntilthesecondchurchbellrang,andshesawthefamilygotroopingupthesidewalkontheoppositesideofthestreet,Annaandherfatherinthelead。Annaseemedtohavetakenonaverystory—bookattitudetowardherfather;pat—
ronizingandcondescending,itseemedtoThea。Theolderboyswerenotinthefamilyband。Theynowtooktheirgirlstochurch。Tilliehadstayedathometogetsupper。
Theagotup,washedherhotfaceandarms,andputonthewhiteorgandiedressshehadwornlastnight;itwasgettingtoosmallforher,andshemightaswellwearitout。
Aftershewasdressedsheunlockedherdoorandwentcau—
tiouslydownstairs。Shefeltasifchillinghostilitiesmightbeawaitingherinthetrunkloft,onthestairway,almostanywhere。Inthedining—roomshefoundTillie,sittingby
theopenwindow,readingthedramaticnewsinaDenverSundaypaper。Tilliekeptascrapbookinwhichshepastedclippingsaboutactorsandactresses。
"ComelookatthispictureofPaulineHallintights,Thea,"shecalled。"Ain’tshecute?It’stoobadyoudidn’tgotothetheatermorewhenyouwasinChicago;
suchagoodchance!Didn’tyouevengettoseeClaraMorrisorModjeska?"
"No;Ididn’thavetime。Besides,itcostsmoney,Tillie,"Thearepliedwearily,glancingatthepaperTillieheldouttoher。
Tillielookedupatherniece。"Don’tyougoandbeupsetaboutanyofAnna’snotions。She’soneofthesenarrowkind。Yourfatherandmotherdon’tpayanyatten—
tiontowhatshesays。Anna’sfussy;sheiswithme,butIdon’tmindher。"
"Oh,Idon’tmindher。That’sallright,Tillie。IguessI’lltakeawalk。"
TheaknewthatTilliehopedshewouldstayandtalktoherforawhile,andshewouldhavelikedtopleaseher。
Butinahouseassmallasthatone,everythingwastoointimateandmixeduptogether。Thefamilywasthefamily,anintegralthing。Onecouldn’tdiscussAnnathere。
Shefeltdifferentlytowardthehouseandeverythinginit,asifthebatteredoldfurniturethatseemedsokindly,andtheoldcarpetsonwhichshehadplayed,hadbeennour—
ishingasecretgrudgeagainstherandwerenottobetrustedanymore。
Shewentaimlesslyoutofthefrontgate,notknow—
ingwhattodowithherself。MexicanTown,somehow,wasspoiledforherjustthen,andshefeltthatshewouldhideifshesawSilvoorFelipecomingtowardher。Shewalkeddownthroughtheemptymainstreet。Allthestoreswereclosed,theirblindsdown。Onthestepsofthebanksomeidleboysweresitting,tellingdisgustingstoriesbecausetherewasnothingelsetodo。Severalofthemhadgone
toschoolwithThea,butwhenshenoddedtothemtheyhungtheirheadsanddidnotspeak。Thea’sbodywasoftencuriouslyexpressiveofwhatwasgoingoninhermind,andto—nighttherewassomethinginherwalkandcarriagethatmadetheseboysfeelthatshewas"stuckup。"Ifshehadstoppedandtalkedtothem,theywouldhavethawedoutontheinstantandwouldhavebeenfriendlyandgrateful。ButTheawashurtafresh,andwalkedon,holdingherchinhigherthanever。AsshepassedtheDukeBlock,shesawalightinDr。Archie’soffice,andshewentupthestairsandopenedthedoorintohisstudy。Shefoundhimwithapileofpapersandaccount—
booksbeforehim。Hepointedhertoheroldchairattheendofhisdeskandleanedbackinhisown,lookingatherwithsatisfaction。Howhandsomeshewasgrowing!
"I’mstillchasingtheelusivemetal,Thea,"——hepointedtothepapersbeforehim,——"I’muptomyneckinmines,andI’mgoingtobearichmansomeday。"
"Ihopeyouwill;awfullyrich。That’stheonlythingthatcounts。"Shelookedrestlesslyabouttheconsulting—
room。"Todoanyofthethingsonewantstodo,onehastohavelotsandlotsofmoney。"
Dr。Archiewasdirect。"What’sthematter?Doyouneedsome?"
Theashrugged。"Oh,Icangetalong,inalittleway。"
Shelookedintentlyoutofthewindowatthearcstreet—
lampthatwasjustbeginningtosputter。"Butit’ssillytoliveatallforlittlethings,"sheaddedquietly。"Living’stoomuchtroubleunlessonecangetsomethingbigoutofit。"
Dr。Archierestedhiselbowsonthearmsofhischair,droppedhischinonhisclaspedhandsandlookedather。
"Livingisnotroubleforlittlepeople,believeme!"heexclaimed。"Whatdoyouwanttogetoutofit?"
"Oh——somanythings!"Theashivered。
"Butwhat?Money?Youmentionedthat。Well,you
canmakemoney,ifyoucareaboutthatmorethanany—
thingelse。"Henoddedpropheticallyabovehisinterlacingfingers。
"ButIdon’t。That’sonlyonething。Anyhow,I
couldn’tifIdid。"Shepulledherdresslowerattheneckasifsheweresuffocating。"Ionlywantimpossiblethings,"
shesaidroughly。"Theothersdon’tinterestme。"
Dr。Archiewatchedhercontemplatively,asifshewereabeakerfullofchemicalsworking。Afewyearsago,whensheusedtositthere,thelightfromunderhisgreenlamp—
shadeusedtofallfulluponherbroadfaceandyellowpig—
tails。Nowherfacewasintheshadowandthelineoflightfellbelowherbarethroat,directlyacrossherbosom。Theshrunkenwhiteorgandieroseandfellasifshewerestrug—
glingtobefreeandtobreakoutofitaltogether。Hefeltthatherheartmustbelaboringheavilyinthere,buthewasafraidtotouchher;hewas,indeed。Hehadneverseenherlikethisbefore。Herhair,piledhighonherhead,gaveheracommandinglook,andhereyes,thatusedtobesoin—
quisitive,werestormy。
"Thea,"hesaidslowly,"Iwon’tsaythatyoucanhaveeverythingyouwant——thatmeanshavingnothing,inreality。Butifyoudecidewhatitisyouwantmost,YOU
CANGETIT。"Hiseyecaughthersforamoment。"Notevery—
bodycan,butyoucan。Only,ifyouwantabigthing,you’vegottohavenerveenoughtocutoutallthat’seasy,everythingthat’stobehadcheap。"Dr。Archiepaused。
Hepickedupapaper—cutterand,feelingtheedgeofitsoftlywithhisfingers,headdedslowly,asiftohimself:——
"Heeitherfearshisfatetoomuch,Orhisdesertsaresmall,WhodaresnotputittothetouchTowin……orloseitall。"
Thea’slipsparted;shelookedathimfromunderafrown,searchinghisface。"Doyoumeantobreakloose,too,and——dosomething?"sheaskedinalowvoice。
"Imeantogetrich,ifyoucallthatdoinganything。
I’vefoundwhatIcandowithout。Youmakesuchbar—
gainsinyourmind,first。"
Theasprangupandtookthepaper—cutterhehadputdown,twistingitinherhands。"Alongwhilefirst,some—
times,"shesaidwithashortlaugh。"Butsupposeonecannevergetoutwhatthey’vegotinthem?Supposetheymakeamessofitintheend;thenwhat?"Shethrewthepaper—cutteronthedeskandtookasteptowardthedoctor,untilherdresstouchedhim。Shestoodlookingdownathim。"Oh,it’seasytofail!"Shewasbreathingthroughhermouthandherthroatwasthrobbingwithexcitement。
Ashelookedupather,Dr。Archie’shandstightenedonthearmsofhischair。HehadthoughtheknewTheaKron—
borgprettywell,buthedidnotknowthegirlwhowasstandingthere。Shewasbeautiful,ashislittleSwedehadneverbeen,butshefrightenedhim。Herpalecheeks,herpartedlips,herflashingeyes,seemedsuddenlytomeanonething——hedidnotknowwhat。Alightseemedtobreakuponherfromfaraway——orperhapsfromfarwithin。Sheseemedtogrowtaller,likeascarfdrawnoutlong;lookedasifshewerepursuedandfleeing,and——yes,shelookedtormented。"It’seasytofail,"heheardhersayagain,"andifIfail,you’dbetterforgetaboutme,forI’llbeoneoftheworstwomenthateverlived。I’llbeanawfulwoman!"
Intheshadowylightabovethelampshadehecaughtherglanceagainandhelditforamoment。Wildashereyeswere,thatyellowgleamatthebackofthemwasashardasadiamonddrill—point。Herosewithanervouslaughanddroppedhishandlightlyonhershoulder。"No,youwon’t。You’llbeasplendidone!"
Sheshookhimoffbeforehecouldsayanythingmore,andwentoutofhisdoorwithakindofbound。Sheleftsoquicklyandsolightlythathecouldnotevenhearherfoot—
stepinthehallwayoutside。Archiedroppedbackintohischairandsatmotionlessforalongwhile。
Soitwent;onelovedaquaintlittlegirl,cheerful,in—
dustrious,alwaysontherunandhustlingthroughhertasks;andsuddenlyonelosther。Hehadthoughtheknewthatchildlikethegloveonhishand。Butaboutthistallgirlwhothrewupherheadandglitteredlikethatallover,heknewnothing。Shewasgoadedbydesires,ambitions,revulsionsthatweredarktohim。Onethingheknew:theoldhighroadoflife,wornsafeandeasy,huggingthesunnyslopes,wouldscarcelyholdheragain。
AfterthatnightTheacouldhaveaskedprettymuchanythingofhim。Hecouldhaverefusedhernothing。
Yearsagoacraftylittlebunchofhairandsmileshadshownhimwhatshewanted,andhehadpromptlymarriedher。
To—nightaverydifferentsortofgirl——drivenwildbydoubtsandyouth,bypovertyandriches——hadlethimseethefiercenessofhernature。Shewentoutstilldis—
traught,notknowingorcaringwhatshehadshownhim。
ButtoArchieknowledgeofthatsortwasobligation。Oh,hewasthesameoldHowardArchie!
ThatSundayinJulywastheturning—point;Thea’speaceofminddidnotcomeback。Shefoundithardeventopracticeathome。Therewassomethingintheairtherethatfrozeherthroat。Inthemorning,shewalkedasfarasshecouldwalk。Inthehotafternoonsshelayonherbedinhernightgown,planningfiercely。Shehauntedthepost—office。Shemusthavewornapathinthesidewalkthatledtothepost—office,thatsummer。Shewastherethemomentthemail—sackscameupfromthedepot,morningandevening,andwhiletheletterswerebeingsortedanddistributedshepacedupanddownoutside,underthecottonwoodtrees,listeningtothethump,thump,thumpofMr。Thompson’sstamp。ShehunguponanysortofwordfromChicago;acardfromBowers,aletterfromMrs。Harsanyi,fromMr。Larsen,fromherlandlady,——anythingtoreassureherthatChicagowas
stillthere。ShebegantofeelthesamerestlessnessthathadtorturedherthelastspringwhenshewasteachinginMoonstone。Supposeshenevergotawayagain,afterall?
Supposeonebrokealegandhadtolieinbedathomeforweeks,orhadpneumoniaanddiedthere。Thedesertwassobigandthirsty;ifone’sfootslipped,itcoulddrinkoneuplikeadropofwater。
Thistime,whenThealeftMoonstonetogobacktoChicago,shewentalone。Asthetrainpulledout,shelookedbackathermotherandfatherandThor。Theywerecalmandcheerful;theydidnotknow,theydidnotun—
derstand。Somethingpulledinher——andbroke。ShecriedallthewaytoDenver,andthatnight,inherberth,shekeptsobbingandwakingherself。Butwhenthesunroseinthemorning,shewasfaraway。Itwasallbehindher,andsheknewthatshewouldnevercrylikethatagain。
Peoplelivethroughsuchpainonlyonce;paincomesagain,butitfindsatoughersurface。Thearememberedhowshehadgoneawaythefirsttime,withwhatconfidenceineverything,andwhatpitifulignorance。Suchasilly!Shefeltresentfultowardthatstupid,good—naturedchild。Howmucholdershewasnow,andhowmuchharder!Shewasgoingawaytofight,andshewasgoingawayforever。
EndofPartII
第19章