Hesentoutwordbyhisoffice—boythathewouldliketoseeMr。Coreyforafewminutesafterclosing。
Thetype—writergirlhadlingeredtoo,asifshewishedtospeakwithhim,andCoreystoodinabeyanceasshewenttowardLapham’sdoor。
"Can’tseeyouto—night,Zerrilla,"hesaidbluffly,butnotunkindly。"PerhapsI’llcallatthehouse,ifit’simportant。"
"Itis,"saidthegirl,withaspoiledairofinsistence。
"Well,"saidLapham,and,noddingtoCoreytoenter,heclosedthedooruponher。Thenheturnedtotheyoung,mananddemanded:"WasIdrunklastnight?"
XV。
LAPHAM’Sstrenuousfacewasbrokenupwiththeemotionsthathadforcedhimtothisquestion:shame,fearofthethingsthatmusthavebeenthoughtofhim,mixedwithafainthopethathemightbemistaken,whichdiedoutattheshockedandpityinglookinCorey’seyes。
"WasIdrunk?"herepeated。"Iaskyou,becauseIwasnevertouchedbydrinkinmylifebefore,andIdon’tknow。"
Hestoodwithhishugehandstremblingonthebackofhischair,andhisdrylipsapart,ashestaredatCorey。
"Thatiswhateveryoneunderstood,ColonelLapham,"
saidtheyoungman。"Everyonesawhowitwas。
Don’t————"
"DidtheytalkitoverafterIleft?"askedLaphamvulgarly。
"Excuseme,"saidCorey,blushing,"myfatherdoesn’ttalkhisguestsoverwithoneanother。"Headded,withyouthfulsuperfluity,"Youwereamonggentlemen。"
"Iwastheonlyonethatwasn’tagentlemanthere!"
lamentedLapham。"Idisgracedyou!Idisgracedmyfamily!I
mortifiedyourfatherbeforehisfriends!"Hisheaddropped。
"IshowedthatIwasn’tfittogowithyou。I’mnotfitforanydecentplace。WhatdidIsay?WhatdidIdo?"
heasked,suddenlyliftinghisheadandconfrontingCorey。
"Outwithit!Ifyoucouldbeartoseeitandhearit,Ihadoughttobeartoknowit!"
"Therewasnothing——reallynothing,"saidCorey。
"Beyondthefactthatyouwerenotquiteyourself,therewasnothingwhatever。MyfatherDIDspeakofittome,"heconfessed,"whenwewerealone。Hesaidthathewasafraidwehadnotbeenthoughtfulofyou,ifyouwereinthehabitoftakingonlywater;ItoldhimIhadnotseenwineatyourtable。Theotherssaidnothingaboutyou。"
"Ah,butwhatdidtheythink?"
"Probablywhatwedid:thatitwaspurelyamisfortune——
anaccident。"
"Iwasn’tfittobethere,"persistedLapham。"Doyouwanttoleave?"heasked,withsavageabruptness。
"Leave?"falteredtheyoungman。
"Yes;quitthebusiness?Cutthewholeconnection?"
"Ihaven’ttheremotestideaofit!"criedCoreyinamazement。
"WhyintheworldshouldI?""Becauseyou’reagentleman,andI’mnot,anditain’trightIshouldbeoveryou。
Ifyouwanttogo,Iknowsomepartiesthatwouldbegladtogetyou。Iwillgiveyouupifyouwanttogobeforeanythingworsehappens,andIshan’tblameyou。
IcanhelpyoutosomethingbetterthanIcanofferyouhere,andIwill。"
"There’snoquestionofmygoing,unlessyouwishit,"
saidCorey。"Ifyoudo————"
"Willyoutellyourfather,"interruptedLapham,"thatIhadanotionallthetimethatIwasactingthedrunkenblackguard,andthatI’vesufferedforitallday?WillyoutellhimIdon’twanthimtonoticemeifweevermeet,andthatIknowI’mnotfittoassociatewithgentlemeninanythingbutabusinessway,ifIamthat?"
"CertainlyIshalldonothingofthekind,"retortedCorey。
"Ican’tlistentoyouanylonger。Whatyousayisshockingtome——shockinginawayyoucan’tthink。"
"Why,man!"exclaimedLapham,withastonishment;"ifI
canstandit,YOUcan!"
"No,"saidCorey,withasicklook,"thatdoesn’tfollow。
Youmaydenounceyourself,ifyouwill;butIhavemyreasonsforrefusingtohearyou——myreasonswhyICAN’Thearyou。
IfyousayanotherwordImustgoaway。"
"Idon’tunderstandyou,"falteredLapham,inbewilderment,whichabsorbedevenhisshame。
"Youexaggeratetheeffectofwhathashappened,"
saidtheyoungman。"It’senough,morethanenough,foryoutohavementionedthemattertome,andIthinkit’sunbecominginmetohearyou。"
Hemadeamovementtowardthedoor,butLaphamstoppedhimwiththetragichumilityofhisappeal。"Don’tgoyet!Ican’tletyou。I’vedisgustedyou,——Iseethat;
butIdidn’tmeanto。I——Itakeitback。"
"Oh,there’snothingtotakeback,"saidCorey,witharepressedshudderfortheabasementwhichhehadseen。
"Butletussaynomoreaboutit——thinknomore。
Therewasn’toneofthegentlemenpresentlastnightwhodidn’tunderstandthematterpreciselyasmyfatherandIdid,andthatfactmustenditbetweenustwo。"
Hewentoutintothelargerofficebeyond,leavingLaphamhelplesstopreventhisgoing。IthadbecomeavitalnecessitywithhimtothinkthebestofLapham,buthismindwasinawhirlofwhateverthoughtsweremostinjurious。
Hethoughtofhimthenightbeforeinthecompanyofthoseladiesandgentlemen,andhequiveredinresentmentofhisvulgar,braggart,uncouthnature。Herecognisedhisownallegiancetotheexclusivenesstowhichhewasbornandbred,asamanperceiveshisdutytohiscountrywhenherrightsareinvaded。Hiseyefellontheportergoingaboutinhisshirt—sleevestomaketheplacefastforthenight,andhesaidtohimselfthatDenniswasnotmoreplebeianthanhismaster;thatthegrossappetites,thebluntsense,thepurblindambition,thestupidarrogancewerethesameinboth,andthedifferencewasinabrutewillthatprobablylefttheporterthegentlermanofthetwo。
TheveryinnocenceofLapham’slifeinthedirectioninwhichhehaderredwroughtagainsthimintheyoungman’smood:itcontainedtheinsultofclownishinexperience。
Amidstthestingsandflashesofhiswoundedpride,allthesocialtraditions,allthehabitsoffeeling,whichhehadsilencedmoreandmorebyforceofwillduringthepastmonths,assertedtheirnaturalsway,andheriotedinhiscontemptoftheoffensiveboor,whowasevenmoreoffensiveinhisshamethaninhistrespass。
HesaidtohimselfthathewasaCorey,asifthatweresomewhat;yetheknewthatatthebottomofhisheartallthetimewasthatwhichmustcontrolhimatlast,andwhichseemedsweetlytobesufferinghisrebellion,secureofhissubmissionintheend。Itwasalmostwiththegirl’svoicethatitseemedtopleadwithhim,toundoinhim,effectbyeffect,theworkofhisindignantresentment,tosetallthingsinanotherandfairerlight,togivehimhopes,tosuggestpalliations,toprotestagainstinjustices。ItWASinLapham’sfavourthathewassoguiltlessinthepast,andnowCoreyaskedhimselfifitwerethefirsttimehecouldhavewishedaguestathisfather’stabletohavetakenlesswine;
whetherLaphamwasnotrathertobehonouredfornotknowinghowtocontainhisfollywhereaveterantransgressormighthaveheldhistongue。Heaskedhimself,withathrillofsuddenremorse,whether,whenLaphamhumbledhimselfinthedustsoshockingly,hehadshownhimthesympathytowhichsuchABANDONhadtheright;andhehadtoownthathehadmethimonthegentlemanlyground,sparinghimselfandassertingthesuperiorityofhissort,andnotrecognisingthatLapham’shumiliationcamefromthesenseofwrong,whichhehadhelpedtoaccumulateuponhimbysuperfinelystandingaloofandrefusingtotouchhim。
Heshuthisdeskandhurriedoutintotheearlynight,nottogoanywhere,buttowalkupanddown,totrytofindhiswayoutofthechaos,whichnowseemedruin,andnowthematerialsoutofwhichfineactionsandahappylifemightbeshaped。ThreehourslaterhestoodatLapham’sdoor。
Attimeswhathenowwishedtodohadseemedforeverimpossible,andagainithadseemedasifhecouldnotwaitamomentlonger。
Hehadnotbeencareless,butverymindfulofwhatheknewmustbethefeelingsofhisownfamilyinregardtotheLaphams,andhehadnotconcealedfromhimselfthathisfamilyhadgreatreasonandjusticeontheirsideinnotwishinghimtoalienatehimselffromtheircommonlifeandassociations。Themostthathecouldurgetohimselfwasthattheyhadnotallthereasonandjustice;
buthehadhesitatedanddelayedbecausetheyhadsomuch。
Oftenhecouldnotmakeitappearrightthatheshouldmerelypleasehimselfinwhatchieflyconcernedhimself。
HeperceivedhowfarapartinalltheirexperiencesandidealstheLaphamgirlsandhissisterswere;howdifferentMrs。Laphamwasfromhismother;howgrotesquelyunlikewerehisfatherandLapham;andthedisparityhadnotalwaysamusedhim。
Hehadoftentakenitveryseriously,andsometimeshesaidthathemustforegothehopeonwhichhisheartwasset。
Therehadbeenmanytimesinthepastmonthswhenhehadsaidthathemustgonofurther,andasoftenashehadtakenthisstandhehadyieldedit,uponthisorthatexcuse,whichhewasawareoftrumpingup。Itwaspartofthecomplicationthatheshouldheunconsciousoftheinjuryhemightbedoingtosomeonebesideshisfamilyandhimself;
thiswasthedefectofhisdiffidence;andithadcometohiminapangforthefirsttimewhenhismothersaidthatshewouldnothavetheLaphamsthinkshewishedtomakemoreoftheacquaintancethanhedid;andthenithadcometoolate。Sincethathehadsufferedquiteasmuchfromthefearthatitmightnotbeasthatitmightbeso;andnow,inthemood,romanticandexalted,inwhichhefoundhimselfconcerningLapham,hewasasfarasmightbefromvainconfidence。Heendedthequestioninhisownmindbyaffirmingtohimselfthathewasthere,firstofall,toseeLaphamandgivehimanultimateproofofhisownperfectfaithandunabatedrespect,andtoofferhimwhatreparationthisinvolvedforthatwantofsympathy——ofhumanity——whichhehadshown。
XVI。
THENovaScotiasecond—girlwhoansweredCorey’sringsaidthatLaphamhadnotcomehomeyet。
"Oh,"saidtheyoungman,hesitatingontheouterstep。
"Iguessyoubettercomein,"saidthegirl,"I’llgoandseewhenthey’reexpectinghim。"
Coreywasinthemoodtobeswayedbyanychance。
Heobeyedthesuggestionofthesecond—girl’spatronisingfriendliness,andlethershuthimintothedrawing—room,whileshewentupstairstoannouncehimtoPenelope。
"Didyoutellhimfatherwasn’tathome?"
"Yes。Heseemedsokindofdisappointed,Itoldhimtocomein,andI’dseewhenheWOULDbein,"saidthegirl,withthehumaninterestwhichsometimesreplacesintheAmericandomestictheserviledeferenceofothercountries。
AgleamofamusementpassedoverPenelope’sface,assheglancedatherselfintheglass。"Well,"shecriedfinally,droppingfromhershouldersthelightshawlinwhichshehadbeenhuddledoverabookwhenCoreyrang,"Iwillgodown。"
"Allright,"saidthegirl,andPenelopebeganhastilytoamendthedisarrayofherhair,whichshetumbledintoamassonthetopofherlittlehead,settingoffthepaledarkofhercomplexionwithaflashofcrimsonribbonatherthroat。Shemovedacrossthecarpetonceortwicewiththequaintgracethatbelongedtohersmallfigure,madeadissatisfiedgrimaceatitintheglass,caughtahandkerchiefoutofadrawerandsliditintoherpocket,andthendescendedtoCorey。
TheLaphamdrawing—roominNankeenSquarewasintheparti—colouredpaintwhichtheColonelhadhopedtorepeatinhisnewhouse:thetrimofthedoorsandwindowswasinlightgreenandthepanelsinsalmon;thewallswereaplaintintofFrenchgreypaper,dividedbygiltmouldingsintobroadpanelswithawidestripeofredvelvetpaperrunningupthecorners;thechandelierwasofmassiveimitationbronze;themirroroverthemantelrestedonafringedmantel—coverofgreenreps,andheavycurtainsofthatstuffhungfromgiltlambrequinframesatthewindow;thecarpetwasofasmallpatternincrudegreen,which,atthetimeMrs。Laphamboughtit,coveredhalfthenewfloorsinBoston。Inthepanelledspacesonthewallsweresomestone—colouredlandscapes,representingthemountainsandcanyonsoftheWest,whichtheColonelandhiswifehadvisitedononeoftheearlyofficialrailroadexcursions。InfrontofthelongwindowslookingintotheSquarewerestatues,kneelingfigureswhichturnedtheirbacksuponthecompanywithin—doors,andrepresentedallegoriesofFaithandPrayertopeoplewithout。Awhitemarblegroupofseveralfigures,expressinganItalianconceptionofLincolnFreeingtheSlaves,——aLatinnegroandhiswife,——withourEagleflappinghiswingsinapproval,atLincoln’sfeet,occupiedonecorner,andbalancedthewhat—notofanearlierperiodinanother。Thesephantasmsaddedtheirchilltothatimpartedbythetoneofthewalls,thelandscapes,andthecarpets,andcontributedtotheviolenceofthecontrastwhenthechandelierwaslightedupfullglare,andtheheatofthewholefurnacewelledupfromtheregistersintothequiveringatmosphereononeoftherareoccasionswhentheLaphamsinvitedcompany。
Coreyhadnotbeeninthisroombefore;thefamilyhadalwaysreceivedhiminwhattheycalledthesitting—room。
Penelopelookedintothisfirst,andthenshelookedintotheparlour,withasmilethatbrokeintoalaughasshediscoveredhimstandingunderthesingleburnerwhichthesecond—girlhadlightedforhiminthechandelier。
"Idon’tunderstandhowyoucametobeputinthere,"
shesaid,assheledthewaytothecozierplace,"unlessitwasbecauseAlicethoughtyouwereonlyhereonprobation,anyway。Fatherhasn’tgothomeyet,butI’mexpectinghimeverymoment;Idon’tknowwhat’skeepinghim。DidthegirltellyouthatmotherandIrenewereout?"
"No,shedidn’tsay。It’sverygoodofyoutoseeme。"
Shehadnotseentheexaltationwhichhehadbeenfeeling,heperceivedwithhalfasigh;itmustallbeuponthislowerlevel;perhapsitwasbestso。"TherewassomethingIwishedtosaytoyourfather————Ihope,"hebrokeoff,"you’rebetterto—night。"
"Ohyes,thankyou,"saidPenelope,rememberingthatshehadnotbeenwellenoughtogotodinnerthenightbefore。
"Weallmissedyouverymuch。"
"Oh,thankyou!I’mafraidyouwouldn’thavemissedmeifIhadbeenthere。"
"Ohyes,weshould,"saidCorey,"Iassureyou。"
Theylookedateachother。
"IreallythinkIbelievedIwassayingsomething,"
saidthegirl。
"AndsodidI,"repliedtheyoungman。Theylaughedratherwildly,andthentheybothbecamerathergrave。
Hetookthechairshegavehim,andlookedacrossather,whereshesatontheothersideofthehearth,inachairlowerthanhis,withherhandsdroppedinherlap,andthebackofherheadonhershouldersasshelookedupathim。
Thesoft—coalfireinthegratepurredandflickered;
thedrop—lightcastamellowradianceonherface。
Shelethereyesfall,andthenliftedthemforanirrelevantglanceattheclockonthemantel。
"MotherandIrenehavegonetotheSpanishStudents’concert。"
"Oh,havethey?"askedCorey;andheputhishat,whichhehadbeenholdinginhishand,onthefloorbesidehischair。
Shelookeddownatitfornoreason,andthenlookedupathisfacefornoother,andturnedalittlered。
Coreyturnedalittleredhimself。Shewhohadalwaysbeensoeasywithhimnowbecamealittleconstrained。
"Doyouknowhowwarmitisout—of—doors?"heasked。
"No,isitwarm?Ihaven’tbeenoutallday。"
"It’slikeasummernight。"
Sheturnedherfacetowardsthefire,andthenstartedabruptly。"Perhapsit’stoowarmforyouhere?"
"Ohno,it’sverycomfortable。"
"Isupposeit’sthecoldofthelastfewdaysthat’sstillinthehouse。Iwasreadingwithashawlonwhenyoucame。"
"Iinterruptedyou。"
"Ohno。Ihadfinishedthebook。Iwasjustlookingoveritagain。"
"Doyouliketoreadbooksover?"
"Yes;booksthatIlikeatall。"
"Thatwasit?"askedCorey。
Thegirlhesitated。"Ithasratherasentimentalname。
Didyoueverreadit?——Tears,IdleTears。"
"Ohyes;theyweretalkingofthatlastnight;it’safamousbookwithladies。Theybreaktheirheartsoverit。
Diditmakeyoucry?"
"Oh,it’sprettyeasytocryoverabook,"saidPenelope,laughing;"andthatoneisverynaturaltillyoucometothemainpoint。Thenthenaturalnessofalltherestmakesthatseemnaturaltoo;butIguessit’sratherforced。"
"Hergivinghimuptotheotherone?"
"Yes;simplybecauseshehappenedtoknowthattheotheronehadcaredforhimfirst。Whyshouldshehavedoneit?Whatrighthadshe?"
"Idon’tknow。Isupposethattheself—sacrifice————"
"ButitWASN’Tself—sacrifice——ornotself—sacrificealone。
Shewassacrificinghimtoo;andforsomeonewhocouldn’tappreciatehimhalfasmuchasshecould。
I’mprovokedwithmyselfwhenIthinkhowIcriedoverthatbook——forIdidcry。It’ssilly——it’swickedforanyonetodowhatthatgirldid。Whycan’ttheyletpeoplehaveachancetobehavereasonablyinstories?"
"Perhapstheycouldn’tmakeitsoattractive,"
suggestedCorey,withasmile。
"Itwouldbenovel,atanyrate,"saidthegirl。
"Butsoitwouldinreallife,Isuppose,"sheadded。
"Idon’tknow。Whyshouldn’tpeopleinlovebehavesensibly?"
"That’saveryseriousquestion,"saidPenelopegravely。
"Icouldn’tanswerit,"andshelefthimtheembarrassmentofsupportinganinquirywhichshehadcertainlyinstigatedherself。Sheseemedtohavefinallyrecoveredherowneaseindoingthis。"Doyouadmireourautumnaldisplay,Mr。Corey?"
"Yourdisplay?"
"ThetreesintheSquare。WEthinkit’squiteequaltoanopeningatJordan&Marsh’s。"
"Ah,I’mafraidyouwouldn’tletmebeseriousevenaboutyourmaples。"
"Ohyes,Ishould——ifyouliketobeserious。"
"Don’tyou?"
"Wellnotaboutseriousmatters。That’sthereasonthatbookmademecry。"
"Youmakefunofeverything。MissIrenewastellingmelastnightaboutyou。"
"Thenit’snouseformetodenyitsosoon。ImustgiveIreneatalkingto。"
"Ihopeyouwon’tforbidhertotalkaboutyou!"
Shehadtakenupafanfromthetable,andheldit,nowbetweenherfaceandthefire,andnowbetweenherfaceandhim。Herlittlevisage,withthatarch,lazylookinit,toppedbyitsmassofduskyhair,anddwindlingfromthefullcheekstothesmallchin,hadaJapaneseeffectinthesubduedlight,andithadthecharmwhichcomestoanywomanwithhappiness。
Itwouldbehardtosayhowmuchofthissheperceivedthathefelt。Theytalkedaboutotherthingsawhile,andthenshecamebacktowhathehadsaid。Sheglancedathimobliquelyroundherfan,andstoppedmovingit。
"DoesIrenetalkaboutme?"sheasked。"Ithinkso——yes。
Perhapsit’sonlyIwhotalkaboutyou。Youmustblamemeifit’swrong,"hereturned。
"Oh,Ididn’tsayitwaswrong,"shereplied。"ButI
hopeifyousaidanythingverybadofmeyou’llletmeknowwhatitwas,sothatIcanreform————"
"No,don’tchange,please!"criedtheyoungman。
Penelopecaughtherbreath,butwentonresolutely,——
"orrebukeyouforspeakingevilofdignities。"
Shelookeddownatthefan,nowflatinherlap,andtriedtogovernherhead,butittrembled,andsheremainedlookingdown。Againtheyletthetalkstray,andthenitwashewhobroughtitbacktothemselves,asifithadnotleftthem。
"IhavetotalkOFyou,"saidCorey,"becauseIgettotalkTOyousoseldom。"
"YoumeanthatIdoallthetalkingwhenwe’re——together?"
Sheglancedsidewiseathim;butshereddenedafterspeakingthelastword。
"We’resoseldomtogether,"hepursued。
"Idon’tknowwhatyoumean————"
"SometimesI’vethought——I’vebeenafraidthatyouavoidedme。"
"Avoidedyou?"
"Yes!Triednottobealonewithme。"
Shemighthavetoldhimthattherewasnoreasonwhysheshouldbealonewithhim,andthatitwasverystrangeheshouldmakethiscomplaintofher。Butshedidnot。
Shekeptlookingdownatthefan,andthensheliftedherburningfaceandlookedattheclockagain。
"MotherandIrenewillbesorrytomissyou,"shegasped。
Heinstantlyroseandcametowardsher。Sherosetoo,andmechanicallyputoutherhand。Hetookitasiftosaygood—night。"Ididn’tmeantosendyouaway,"
shebesoughthim。
"Oh,I’mnotgoing,"heansweredsimply。"Iwantedtosay——tosaythatit’sIwhomakehertalkaboutyou。
TosayI————ThereissomethingIwanttosaytoyou;
I’vesaiditsooftentomyselfthatIfeelasifyoumustknowit。"Shestoodquitestill,lettinghimkeepherhand,andquestioninghisfacewithabewilderedgaze。"YouMUST
know——shemusthavetoldyou——shemusthaveguessed————"
Penelopeturnedwhite,butoutwardlyquelledthepanicthatsentthebloodtoherheart。"I——Ididn’texpect——I
hopedtohaveseenyourfather——butImustspeaknow,whatever————Iloveyou!"
Shefreedherhandfrombothofthosehehadcloseduponit,andwentbackfromhimacrosstheroomwithasinuousspring。
"ME!"Whateverpotentialcomplicityhadlurkedinherheart,hiswordsbroughtheronlyimmeasurabledismay。
Hecametowardsheragain。"Yes,you。Whoelse?"
Shefendedhimoffwithanimploringgesture。
"Ithought——I——itwas————"
Sheshutherlipstight,andstoodlookingathimwhereheremainedinsilentamaze。Thenherwordscameagain,shudderingly。"Oh,whathaveyoudone?"
"Uponmysoul,"hesaid,withavaguesmile,"Idon’tknow。
Ihopenoharm?"
"Oh,don’tlaugh!"shecried,laughinghystericallyherself。
"Unlessyouwantmetothinkyouthegreatestwretchintheworld!"
"I?"heresponded。"Forheaven’ssaketellmewhatyoumean!"
"YouknowIcan’ttellyou。Canyousay——canyouputyourhandonyourheartandsaythat——you——sayyounevermeant——thatyoumeantme——allalong?"
"Yes!——yes!Whoelse?Icameheretoseeyourfather,andtotellhimthatIwishedtotellyouthis——toaskhim————Butwhatdoesitmatter?Youmusthaveknownit——youmusthaveseen——andit’sforyoutoanswerme。
I’vebeenabrupt,Iknow,andI’vestartledyou;butifyouloveme,youcanforgivethattomylovingyousolongbeforeIspoke。"
Shegazedathimwithpartedlips。
"Oh,mercy!WhatshallIdo?Ifit’strue——whatyousay——youmustgo!"shesaid。"Andyoumustnevercomeanymore。
Doyoupromisethat?"
"Certainlynot,"saidtheyoungman。"WhyshouldI
promisesuchathing——soabominablywrong?Icouldobeyifyoudidn’tloveme————"
"Oh,Idon’t!IndeedIdon’t!Nowwillyouobey。"
"No。Idon’tbelieveyou。""Oh!"
Hepossessedhimselfofherhandagain。
"Mylove——mydearest!Whatisthistrouble,thatyoucan’ttellit?Itcan’tbeanythingaboutyourself。
Ifitisanythingaboutanyoneelse,itwouldn’tmaketheleastdifferenceintheworld,nomatterwhatitwas。
IwouldbeonlytoogladtoshowbyanyactordeedIcouldthatnothingcouldchangemetowardsyou。"
"Oh,youdon’tunderstand!"
"No,Idon’t。Youmusttellme。"
"Iwillneverdothat。"