Brigittedeclaredthatifyoudidn’ttaketimebytheforelocknoonewouldbeready。ShepreventedThuillierfromgoingtohisoffice,insistingthatifheoncegotoffshenevershouldseehimagain;sheplaguedJosephine,thecook,abouthurryingthebreakfast,andinspiteofwhathadhappenedthedaybeforeshescarcelyrestrainedherselffromnaggingatMadameThuillier,whodidnotenter,asshethoughtsheshouldhavedone,intoherfavoritemaxim,"Betterbeearlythanlate。"
PresentlydownshewenttotheCollevilles’tomakethesamedisturbance;andtheresheputhervetoonthecostume,fartooelegant,whichFlaviemeditatedwearing,andtoldCelestethehatandgownshewishedhertoappearin。AsforColleville,whocouldnot,hedeclared,stayawayallthemorningfromhisofficialduties,shecompelledhimtoputonhisdress—suitbeforehewentout,madehimsethiswatchbyhers,andwarnedhimthatifhewaslatenoonewouldwaitforhim。
TheamusingpartofitwasthatBrigitteherself,afterdrivingeveryoneatthepointofthebayonet,cameverynearbeinglateherself。
Underpretextofaidingothers,independentlyofmindingherownbusiness,which,forworlds,shewouldneverhavesparedherself,shehadputherfingersandeyesintosomanythingsthattheyendedbyoverwhelmingher。However,sheascribedthedelayinwhichshewasalmostcaughttothehairdresser,whomshehadsentfortomake,onthisextraordinaryoccasion,whatshecalledher"part。"Thatartisthaving,unadvisedly,dressedherhairinthefashion,hewascompelled,aftershehadlookedatherselfintheglass,todohisworkoveragain,andconformtotheusualstyleofhisclient,whichconsistedchieflyinneverbeing"done"atall,amethodthatgaveherheadageneralairofwhatisvulgarlycalled"acrosscat。"
Abouthalf—pastoneo’clocklaPeyrade,Thuillier,Colleville,MadameThuillier,andCelestewereassembledinthesalon。Flaviejoinedthemsoonafter,fasteningherbraceletsasshecamealongtoavoidarebuff,andhavingthesatisfactionofknowingthatshewasreadybeforeBrigitte。Asforthelatter,alreadyfuriousatfindingherselflate,shehadanothercauseforexasperation。Theeventofthedayseemedtorequireacorset,arefinementwhichsheusuallydiscarded。
Theunfortunatemaid,whosedutyitwastolaceherandtodiscovertheexactpointtowhichshewaswillingtobedrawnin,aloneknewtheterrorsandstormsofacorsetday。
"I’drather,"saidthegirl,"lacetheobelisk;Iknowitwouldlenditselftobeinglacedbetterthanshedoes;and,anyhow,itcouldn’tbebad—tongued。"
Whilethepartyinthesalonwereamusingthemselves,undertheirbreaths,atthe"flagrantedelicto"ofunpunctualityinwhichQueenElizabethwascaught,theporterentered,andgavetoThuillierasealedpackage,addressedto"MonsieurThuillier,directorofthe’EchodelaBievre。’INHASTE。"
Thuillieropenedtheenvelope,andfoundwithinacopyofaministerialjournalwhichhadhithertoshownitselfdiscourteoustothenewpaperbyrefusingtheEXCHANGEwhichallperiodicalsusuallymakeverywillinglywithoneanother。
Puzzledbythefactofthismissivebeingsenttohisownhouseandnottotheofficeofthe"Echo,"Thuillierhastilyopenedthesheet,andread,withwhatemotionthereadermayconceive,thefollowingarticle,commendedtohisnoticebyacircleinredink:——
Anobscureorganwasabouttoexpireinitsnativeshadewhenanambitiouspersonofrecentdatebethoughthimselfofgalvanizingit。Hisobjectwastomakeitafootholdbywhichtoclimbfrommunicipalfunctionstothecovetedpositionofdeputy。Happilythisobject,havingcometothesurface,willendinfailure。
Electorswillcertainlynotbeinveigledbysowilyamannerofadvancingself—interests;andwhenthepropertimearrives,ifridiculehasnotalreadydonejusticeonthisabsurdcandidacy,weshallourselvesprovetothepretenderthattoaspiretothedistinguishedhonorofrepresentingthenationsomethingmoreisrequiredthanthemoneytobuyapaperandpayanunderlingtoputintogoodFrenchthehorribledictionofhisarticlesandpamphlets。Weconfineourselvesto—daytothislimitednotice,butourreadersmaybesurethatweshallkeeptheminformedaboutthiselectoralcomedy,ifindeedthepartiesconcernedhavethemelancholycouragetogoonwithit。
Thuillierreadtwiceoverthissuddendeclarationofwar,whichwasfarfromleavinghimcalmandimpassible;then,takinglaPeyradeaside,hesaidtohim:——
"Readthat;itisserious。"
"Well?"saidlaPeyrade,afterreadingthearticle。
"Well?howwell?"exclaimedThuillier。
"Imean,whatdoyoufindsoseriousinthat?"
"WhatdoIfindsoserious?"repeatedThuillier。"Idon’tthinkanythingcouldbemoreinsultingtome。"
"Youcan’tdoubt,"saidlaPeyrade,"thatthevirtuousCerizetisatthebottomofit;hehasthrownthisfirecrackerbetweenyourlegsbywayofrevenge。"
"Cerizet,oranybodyelsewhowrotethatdiatribeisaninsolentfellow,"criedThuillier,gettingangry,"andthemattershallnotrestthere。"
"Formypart,"saidlaPeyrade,"Iadviseyoutomakenoreply。Youarenotnamed;though,ofcourse,theattackisaimedatyou。Butyououghttoletouradversarycommithimselffarther;whentherightmomentcomes,we’llraphimovertheknuckles。"
"No!"saidThuillier,"Iwon’tstayquietoneminuteundersuchaninsult。"
"Thedevil!"saidthebarrister;"whatasensitiveepidermis!Doreflect,mydearfellow,thatyouhavemadeyourselfacandidateandajournalist,andthereforeyoureallymusthardenyourselfbetterthanthat。"
"Mygoodfriend,itisaprincipleofminenottoletanybodysteponmytoes。Besides,theysaythemselvestheyaregoingonwiththisthing。Therefore,itisabsolutelynecessarytocutshortsuchimpertinence。"
"Butdoconsider,"saidlaPeyrade。"Certainlyinjournalism,asincandidacy,ahottemperhasitsuses;amanmakeshimselfrespected,andstopsattacks——"
"Justso,"saidThuillier,"’principiisobsta。’Notto—day,becausewehaven’tthetime,butto—morrowIshallcarrythatpaperintocourt。"
"Intocourt!"echoedlaPeyrade;"yousurelywouldn’tgotolawinsuchamatterasthis?Inthefirstplace,thereisnothingtoproceedupon;youarenotnamednorthepapereither,and,besides,itisapitiablebusiness,goingtolaw;you’lllooklikeaboywhohasbeenfighting,andgottheworstofit,andrunstocomplaintohismamma。
NowifyouhadsaidthatyoumeanttomakeFleuryinterveneinthematter,Icouldunderstandthat——thoughtheaffairisratherpersonaltoyou,anditmightbedifficulttomakeitseem——"
"Ahca!"saidThuillier,"doyousupposeIamgoingtocommitmyselfwithaCerizetoranyothernewspaperbully?Ipiquemyself,mydearfellow,onpossessingciviccourage,whichdoesnotgiveintoprejudices,andwhich,insteadoftakingjusticeintoitsownhands,hasrecoursetothemeansofdefencethatareprovidedbylaw。
Besides,withthelegalauthoritytheCourtofCassationnowhasoverduelling,Ihavenodesiretoputmyselfinthewayofbeingexpatriated,orspendingtwoorthreeyearsinprison。"
"Well,"saidlaPeyrade,"we’lltalkitoverlater;here’syoursister,andshewouldthinkeverythinglostifthislittlematterreachedherears。"
WhenBrigitteappearedCollevilleshouted"Full!"andproceededtosingthechorusof"LaParisienne。"
"Heavens!Colleville,howvulgaryouare!"criedthetardyone,hasteningtocastastoneintheother’sgardentoavoidthethrowingofoneintohers。"Well,areyouallready?"sheadded,arranginghermantlebeforeamirror。"Whato’clockisit?itwon’tdotogettherebeforethetime,likeprovincials。"
"Tenminutestotwo,"saidColleville;"IgobytheTuileries。"
"Well,thenwearejustright,"saidBrigitte;"itwilltakeaboutthattimetogettotherueCaumartin。Josephine,"shecried,goingtothedoorofthesalon,"we’lldineatsix,thereforebesureyouputtheturkeytoroastattherighttime,andmindyoudon’tburnit,asyoudidtheotherday。Blessme!who’sthat?"andwithahastymotionsheshutthedoor,whichshehadbeenholdingopen。"Whatanuisance!
IhopeHenriwillhavethesensetotellhimweareout。"
Notatall;Henricameintosaythatanoldgentleman,withaverygenteelair,hadaskedtobereceivedonurgentbusiness。
"Whydidn’tyousaywewereallout?"
"That’swhatIshouldhavedoneifmademoisellehadnotopenedthedoorofthesalonsothatthegentlemancouldseethewholefamilyassembled。"
"Oh,yes!"saidBrigitte,"youareneverinthewrong,areyou?"
"WhatamItosaytohim?"askedtheman。
"Say,"repliedThuillier,"thatIamverysorrynottobeabletoreceivehim,butIamexpectedatanotary’sofficeaboutamarriagecontract;butthatifhecouldreturntwohourshence——"
"Ihavetoldhimallthat,"saidHenri,"andheansweredthatthatcontractwaspreciselywhathehadcomeabout,andthathisbusinessconcernedyoumorethanhimself。"
"Youhadbettergoandseehim,Thuillier,andgetridofhimindouble—quick,"saidBrigitte;"that’sshorterthantalkingtoHenri,whoisalwaysanorator。"
IflaPeyradehadbeenconsultedhemightnothavejoinedinthatadvice,forhehadhadmorethanonespecimenofthespokessomeoccultinfluencewasputtingintothewheelsofhismarriage,andthepresentvisitseemedtohimominous。
"Showhimintomystudy,"saidThuillier,followinghissister’sadvice;and,openingthedoorwhichledfromthesalontothestudy,hewenttoreceivehisimportunatevisitor。
Brigitteimmediatelyappliedhereyetothekeyhole。
"Goodness!"sheexclaimed,"there’smyimbecileofaThuillierofferinghimachair!andawayinacorner,too,whereIcan’thearawordtheysay!"
LaPeyradewaswalkingabouttheroomwithaninwardagitationcoveredbyanappearanceofgreatindifference。Heevenwentuptothethreewomen,andmadeafewlover—likespeechestoCeleste,whoreceivedthemwithasmiling,happyairinkeepingwiththeroleshewasplaying。AsforColleville,hewaskillingthetimebycomposingananagramonthesixwordsof"lejournal’l’EchodelaBievre,’"forwhichhehadfoundthefollowingversion,littlereassuring(asfarasitwent)fortheprospectsofthatnewspaper:"Od’Echo,jarni!labevuereell"——butasthefinal"e"waslackingtocompletethelastword,theworkwasnotaltogetherassatisfactoryasitshouldhavebeen。
"He’stakingsnuff!"saidBrigitte,hereyestillgluedtothekeyhole;"hisgoldsnuff—boxbeatsMinard’s——though,perhaps,itisonlysilver—gilt,"sheadded,reflectively。"He’sdoingthetalking,andThuillierissittingtherelisteningtohimlikeabuzzard。I
shallgoinandtellthemtheycan’tkeepladieswaitingthatway。"
ButjustassheputherhandonthelocksheheardThuillier’svisitorraisehisvoice,andthatmadeherlookthroughthekeyholeagain。
"Heisstandingup;he’sgoing,"shesaidwithsatisfaction。
Butamomentlatershesawshehadmadeamistake;thelittleoldmanhadonlylefthischairtowalkupanddowntheroomandcontinuetheconversationwithgreaterfreedom。
"Mygracious!Ishallcertainlygoin,"shesaid,"andtellThuillierwearegoingwithouthim,andhecanfollowus。"
Sosaying,theoldmaidgavetwolittlesharpandveryimperiousrapsonthedoor,afterwhichsheresolutelyenteredthestudy。
LaPeyrade,goadedbyanxiety,hadthebadtastetolookthroughthekeyholehimselfatwhatwashappening。Instantlyhethoughtherecognizedthesmalloldmanhehadseenunderthenameof"thecommander"onthatmemorablemorningwhenhehadwaitedforMadamedeGodollo。ThenhesawThuillieraddressinghissisterwithimpatienceandwithgesturesofauthorityaltogetheroutofhisusualhabitsofdeferenceandsubmission。
"Itseems,"saidBrigitte,re—enteringthesalon,"thatThuillierfindssomegreatinterestinthatcreature’stalk,forheorderedmebluntlytoleavethem,thoughthelittleoldfellowdidsay,rathercivilly,thattheywouldsoonbethrough。ButJeromeadded:’MIND,youaretowaitforme。’Really,sincehehastakentomakingnewspapersI
don’tknowhim;hehassetupanairasifhewereleadingtheworldwithhiswand。"
"Iamverymuchafraidheisbeingentangledbysomeadventurer,"saidlaPeyrade。"IamprettysureIsawthatoldmanatMadamedeGodollo’sthedayIwenttowarnheroffthepremises;hemustbeofthesamestripe。"
"Whydidn’tyoutellme?"criedBrigitte。"I’dhaveaskedhimfornewsofthecountess,andlethimseeweknewwhatweknewofhisHungarian。"
Justthenthesoundofmovingchairswasheard,andBrigittedartedbacktothekeyhole。
"Yes,"shesaid,"heisreallygoing,andThuillierisbowinghimoutrespectfully!"
AsThuillierdidnotimmediatelyreturn,Collevillehadtimetogotothewindowandexclaimatseeingthelittleoldgentlemandrivingawayinanelegantcoupe,ofwhichthereaderhasalreadyheard。
"Thedeuce!"criedColleville;"whatanornatelivery!Ifheisanadventurerheisanumberone。"
AtlastThuillierre—enteredtheroom,hisfacefullofcare,hismannerextremelygrave。
"MydearlaPeyrade,"hesaid,"youdidnottellusthatanotherproposalofmarriagehadbeenseriouslyconsideredbyyou。"
"Yes,Idid;Itoldyouthataveryrichheiresshadbeenofferedtome,butthatmyinclinationswerehere,andthatIhadnotgivenanyencouragementtotheaffair;consequently,ofcourse,therewasnoseriousengagement。"
"Well,Ithinkyoudowrongtotreatthatproposalsolightly。"
"What!doyoumeantosay,inpresenceoftheseladies,thatyoublamemeforremainingfaithfultomyfirstdesiresandouroldengagement?"
"Myfriend,theconversationthatIhavejusthadhasbeenamostinstructiveonetome;andwhenyouknowwhatIknow,withotherdetailspersonaltoyourself,whichwillbeconfidedtoyou,Ithinkthatyouwillenterintomyideas。Onethingiscertain;weshallnotgotothenotaryto—day;andasforyou,thebestthingthatyoucandoistogo,withoutdelay,toMonsieurduPortail。"
"Thatnameagain!itpursuesmelikearemorse,"exclaimedlaPeyrade。
"Yes;goatonce;heisawaitingyou。Itisanindispensablepreliminarybeforewecangoanyfarther。Whenyouhaveseenthatexcellentmanandheardwhathehastosaytoyou——well,THENifyoupersistinclaimingCeleste’shand,wemightperhapscarryoutourplans。Untilthenweshalltakenostepsinthematter。"
"But,mypoorThuillier,"saidBrigitte,"youhaveletyourselfbegammonedbyarascal;thatmanbelongstotheGodolloset。"
"MadamedeGodollo,"repliedThuillier,"isnotatallwhatyousupposehertobe,andthebestthingthishousecandoisnevertosayonewordabouther,eithergoodorevil。AsforlaPeyrade,asthisisnotthefirsttimehehasbeenrequestedtogoandseeMonsieurduPortail,Iamsurprisedthathehesitatestodoso。"
"Ahca!"saidBrigitte,"thatlittleoldmanhascompletelybefooledyou。"
"Itellyouthatthatlittleoldmanisallthatheappearstobe。Hewearssevencrosses,hedrivesinasplendidequipage,andhehastoldmethingsthathaveoverwhelmedmewithastonishment。"
"Well,perhapshe’safortune—tellerlikeMadameFontaine,whomanagedonceuponatimetoupsetmewhenMadameMinardandI,justtoamuseourselves,wenttoconsulther。"
"Well,ifheisnotasorcererhecertainlyhasaverylongarm,"saidThuillier,"andIthinkamanwouldsufferforitifhedidn’trespecthisadvice。Asforyou,Brigitte,hesawyouonlyforaminute,buthetoldmeyourwholecharacter;hesaidyouwereamasterfulwoman,borntocommand。"
"Thefactis,"saidBrigitte,lickingherchopsatthiscompliment,likeacatdrinkingcream,"hehasaverywell—bredair,thatlittleoldfellow。Youtakemyadvice,mydear,"shesaid,turningtolaPeyrade;"ifsuchaverybig—wigasthatwantsyoutodoso,goandseethisduPortail,whoeverheis。That,itseemstome,won’tbindyoutoanything。"
"Youareright,Brigitte,"saidColleville;"asforme,I’dfollowupallthePortails,orPortERS,orPortENTSforthematterofthat,iftheyaskedmeto。"
Thescenewasbeginningtoresemblethatinthe"BarberofSeville,"
whereeverybodytellsBasiltogotobed,forhecertainlyhasafever。LaPeyrade,thusprodded,pickeduphishatinsomeill—humor,andwentwherehisdestinycalledhim,——"quosuafatavocabant。"
CHAPTERXV
ATDUPORTAIL’S
OnreachingtherueHonore—ChevalierlaPeyradefeltadoubt;thedilapidatedappearanceofthehousetowhichhewassummonedmadehimthinkhehadmistakenthenumber。ItseemedtohimthatapersonofMonsieurduPortail’sevidentimportancecouldnotinhabitsuchaplace。ItwasthereforewithsomehesitationthatheaccostedSieurPerrache,theporter。ButnosoonerhadheenteredtheantechamberoftheapartmentpointedouttohimthantheexcellentdeportmentofBruneau,theoldvalet,andtheextremelycomfortableappearanceofthefurnitureandotherappointmentsmadehimseethathewasprobablyintherightplace。Introducedatonce,assoonashehadgivenhisname,intothestudyofthemasterofthehouse,hissurprisewasgreatwhenhefoundhimselfinpresenceofthecommander,socalled,thefriendofMadamedeGodollo,andthelittleoldmanhehadseenhalfanhourearlierwithThuillier。
"Atlast!"saidduPortail,rising,andofferinglaPeyradeachair,"atlastwemeet,myrefractoryfriend;ithastakenagooddealtobringyouhere。"
"MayIknow,monsieur,"saidlaPeyrade,haughtily,nottakingthechairwhichwasofferedtohim,"whatinterestyouhaveinmeddlingwithmyaffairs?Idonotknowyou,andImayaddthattheplacewhereIoncesawyoudidnotcreateanunconquerabledesireinmetomakeyouracquaintance。"
"Wherehaveyouseenme?"askedduPortail。
"IntheapartmentofastrumpetwhocalledherselfMadamedeGodollo。"
"Wheremonsieur,consequently,wenthimself,"saidthelittleoldman,"andforapurposemuchlessdisinterestedthanmine。"
"Ihavenotcomehere,"saidlaPeyrade,"tobandywordswithanyone。
Ihavetheright,monsieur,toafullexplanationastothemeaningofyourproceedingstowardsme。Ithereforerequestyounottodelaythembyafacetiousnesstowhich,Iassureyou,Iamnotinthehumortolisten。"
"Then,mydearfellow,"saidduPortail,"sitdown,forIamnotinthehumortotwistmyneckbytalkingupatyou。"
Thewordswerereasonable,andtheyweresaidinatonethatshowedtheoldgentlemanwasnotlikelytobefrightenedbygrandairs。LaPeyradethereforedeferredtothewishesofhishost,buthetookcaretodosowiththeworstgracepossible。
"MonsieurCerizet,"saidduPortail,"amanofexcellentstandingintheworld,andwhohasthehonortobeoneofyourfriends——"
"Ihavenothingtodowiththatmannow,"saidlaPeyrade,sharply,understandingthemaliciousmeaningoftheoldman’sspeech。
"Well,thetimehasbeen,"saidduPortail,"whenyousawhim,atleast,occasionally:forinstance,whenyoupaidforhisdinnerattheRocherdeCancale。AsIwassaying,IchargedthevirtuousMonsieurCerizettosoundyouastoamarriage——"
"WhichIrefused,"interruptedlaPeyrade,"andwhichInowrefuseagain,morevehementlythanever。"
"That’sthequestion,"saidtheoldman。"Ithink,onthecontrary,thatyouwillacceptit;anditistotalkoverthisaffairwithyouthatIhavesolongdesiredameeting。"
"Butthiscrazygirlthatyouareflingingatmyhead,"saidlaPeyrade,"whatisshetoyou?Shecan’tbeyourdaughter,oryouwouldputmoredecencyintoyourhuntforahusband。"
"Thisyounggirl,"repliedduPortail,"isthedaughterofoneofmyfriendswhodiedabouttenyearsago;athisdeathItookhertolivewithme,andhavegivenherallthecarehersadconditionneeded。Herfortune,whichIhavegreatlyincreased,addedtomyown,whichI
intendtoleavetoher,willmakeheraveryrichheiress。Iknowthatyouarenoenemytohandsome’dots,’foryouhavesoughttheminvariousplaces,——Thuillier’shouse,forinstance,or,touseyourownexpression,thatofastrumpetwhomyouscarcelyknew。Ihavethereforesupposedyouwouldacceptatmyhandsaveryrichyoungwoman,especiallyasherinfirmityisdeclaredbythebestphysicianstobecurable;whereasyoucannevercureMonsieurandMademoiselleThuillier,theoneofbeingafool,theotherofbeingafury,anymorethanyoucouldcureMadameKomornofbeingawomanofverymediumvirtueandextremelygiddy。"
"Itmaysuitme,"repliedlaPeyrade,"tomarrythedaughterofafoolandafuryifIchooseher,orImightbecomethehusbandofaclevercoquette,ifpassionseizedme,buttheQueenofShebaherself,ifimposeduponme,neitheryou,monsieur,northeablestandmostpowerfulmanlivingcouldforcemetoaccept。"
"Precisely;thereforeitistoyourowngoodsenseandintelligencethatInowaddressmyself;butwehavetocomefacetofacewithpeopleinordertospeaktothem,youknow。Now,then,letuslookintoyourpresentsituation,anddon’tgetangryif,likeasurgeonwhowantstocurehispatient,Ilaymyhandmercilesslyonwoundswhichhavelongtormentedandharassedyou。ThefirstpointtostateisthattheCelesteCollevilleaffairisatanendforyou。"
"Whyso?"demandedlaPeyrade。
"BecauseIhavejustseenThuillierandterrifiedhimwiththehistoryofthemisfortuneshehasincurred,andthosehewillincurifhepersistsintheideaofgivingyouhisgoddaughterinmarriage。HeknowsnowthatitwasIwhoparalyzedMadameduBruel’skindofficesinthematterofthecross;thatIhadhispamphletseized;thatI
sentthatHungarianwomanintohishousetohandleyouall,asshedid;andthatmyhandisopeningfireintheministerialjournals,whichwillonlyincreasefrombadtoworse,——nottospeakofothermachinationswhichwillbedirectedagainsthiscandidacy。Thereforeyousee,mygoodfriend,thatnotonlyhaveyounolongerthecreditinThuillier’seyesofbeinghisgreathelpertothatelection,butthatyouactuallyblockthewaytohisambition。Thatisenoughtoprovetoyouthatthesidebywhichyouhaveimposedyourselfonthatfamily——whohaveneversincerelylikedordesiredyou——isnowcompletelybattereddownanddismantled。"
"Buttohavedoneallthatwhichyouclaimwithsuchpretension,whoareyou?"demandedlaPeyrade。
"Ishallnotsaythatyouareveryinquisitive,forIintendtoansweryourquestionlater;butforthepresentletuscontinue,ifyouplease,theautopsyofyourexistence,deadto—day,butwhichI
proposetoresuscitategloriously。Youaretwenty—eightyearsold,andyouhavebegunacareerinwhichIshallnotallowyoutomakeanotherstep。AfewdayshencetheCounciloftheorderofbarristerswillassembleandwillcensure,moreorlessseverely,yourconductinthematterofthepropertyyouplacedwithsuchcandorinThuillier’shands。Donotdeceiveyourself;censurefromthatquarter(andI
mentiononlyyourleastdanger)isasfataltoabarristerasbeingactuallydisbarred。"