首页 >出版文学> The Legacy of Cain>第5章
  thinkthepictureescapedmealso;Idon’tremembernoticinganythingexcepttheyounggentleman,especiallywhenhetookoffhishattome。Helookedatmetwicebeforehewentaway。Igothotagain。IsaidtoMrs。Staveley:"Whoishe?"
  Shelaughedatme。Isaidagain:"Whoishe?"Shesaid:"HeisyoungMr。Dunboyne。"Isaid:"DoesheliveinLondon?"Shelaughedagain。Isaidagain:"DoesheliveinLondon?"Shesaid:
  "Heishereforaholiday;heliveswithhisfatheratFairmount,inIreland。"
  YoungMr。Dunboyne——hereforaholiday——liveswithhisfatheratFairmount,inIreland。Ihavesaidthattomyselffiftytimesover。Andhereitis,sayingitselfforthefifty—firsttimeinmyJournal。Imustindeedbeasimpleton,asHelenasays。Ihadbettergotobedagain。
  CHAPTERXIII。
  EUNICE’SDIARY。
  NOTlongbeforeIlefthome,Iheardoneofourtwoservantstellingtheotheraboutapersonwhohadbeen"bewitched。"Areyoubewitchedwhenyoudon’tunderstandyourownself?Thathasbeenmycuriouscase,sinceIreturnedfromthepictureshow。
  ThismorningItookmydrawingmaterialsoutofmybox,andtriedtomakeaportraitofyoungMr。Dunboynefromrecollection。I
  succeededprettywellwithhisfrock—coatandcane;but,tryasI
  might,hisfacewasbeyondme。IhaveneverdrawnanythingsobadlysinceIwasalittlegirl;Ialmostfeltreadytocry。WhatafoolIam!
  ThismorningIreceivedaletterfrompapa——itwasinreplytoaletterthatIhadwrittentohim——sokind,sobeautifullyexpressed,solikehimself,thatIfeltinclinedtosendhimaconfessionofthestrangestateoffeelingthathascomeoverme,andtoaskhimtocomfortandadviseme。Onsecondthoughts,I
  wasafraidtodoit。Afraidofpapa!Iamfurtherawayfromunderstandingmyselfthanever。
  Mr。Dunboynepaidusavisitintheafternoon。Fortunately,beforewewentout。
  IthoughtIwouldhaveagoodlookathim;soastoknowhisfacebetterthanIhadknownityet。Anotherdisappointmentwasinstoreforme。Withoutintendingit,Iamsure,hedidwhatnootheryoungmanhaseverdone——hemademefeelconfused。Insteadoflookingathim,Isatwithmyheaddown,andlistenedtohistalk。Hisvoice——thisishighpraise——remindedmeofpapa’svoice。Itseemedtopersuademeaspapapersuadeshiscongregation。Ifeltquiteateaseagain。Whenhewentaway,weshookhands。Hegavemyhandalittlesqueeze。Igavehimbackthesqueeze——withoutknowingwhy。Whenhewasgone,IwishedI
  hadnotdoneit——withoutknowingwhy,either。
  IheardhisChristiannameforthefirsttimeto—day。Mrs。
  Staveleysaidtome:"Wearegoingtohaveadinner—party。ShallIaskPhilipDunboyne?"IsaidtoMrs。Staveley:"Oh,do!"
  Sheisanoldwoman;hereyesaredim。Attimes,shecanlookmischievous。Shelookedatmemischievouslynow。IwishedIhadnotbeensoeagertohaveMr。Dunboyneaskedtodinner。
  AfearhascometomethatImayhavedegradedmyself。Myspiritsaredepressed。This,aspapatellsusinhissermons,isamiserableworld。IamsorryIacceptedtheStaveleys’invitation。
  IamsorryIwenttoseethepictures。Whenthatyoungmancomestodinner,IshallsayIhavegotaheadache,andshallstopupstairsbymyself。Idon’tthinkIlikehisChristianname。I
  hateLondon。Ihateeverybody。
  WhatIwroteupabove,yesterday,isnonsense。IthinkhisChristiannameisperfect。IlikeLondon。Iloveeverybody。
  Hecametodinnerto—day。Isatnexttohim。Howbeautifuladress—coatis,andawhitecravat!Wetalked。HewantedtoknowwhatmyChristiannamewas。IwassopleasedwhenIfoundhewasoneofthefewpeoplewholikeit。Hishaircurlsnaturally。Incolor,itissomethingbetweenmyhairandHelena’s。Hewearshisbeard。Howmanly!Itcurlsnaturally,likehishair;itsmellsdeliciouslyofsomeperfumewhichisnewtome。Hehaswhitehands;hisnailslookasifhepolishedthem;IshouldliketopolishmynailsifIknewhow。WhateverIsaid,heagreedwithme;Ifeltsatisfiedwithmyownconversation,forthefirsttimeinmylife。Helenawon’tfindmeasimpletonwhenIgohome。Whatexquisitethingsdinner—partiesare!
  Mysistertoldme(whenwesaidgood—by)tobeparticularinwritingdownmytrueopinionoftheStaveleys。HelenawishestocomparewhatshethinksofthemwithwhatIthinkofthem。
  MyopinionofMr。Staveleyis——Idon’tlikehim。MyopinionofMissStaveleyis——Ican’tendureher。AsforMasterStaveley,mycleversisterwillunderstandthat_he_isbeneathnotice。But,oh,whatawonderfulwomanMrs。Staveleyis!Wewentouttogether,afterluncheontoday,forawalkinKensingtonGardens。
  NeverhaveIheardanyconversationtocomparewithMrs。
  Staveley’s。Helenashallenjoyithere,atsecondhand。Iamquitechangedintwothings。First:IthinkmoreofmyselfthanI
  everdidbefore。Second:writingisnolongeradifficultytome。
  Icouldfillahundredjournals,withoutoncestoppingtothink。
  Mrs。Staveleybegannicely;"Isuppose,Eunice,youhaveoftenbeentoldthatyouhaveagoodfigure,andthatyouwalkwell?"
  Isaid:"Helenathinksmyfigureisbetterthanmyface。ButdoI
  reallywalkwell?Nobodyevertoldmethat。"
  Sheanswered:"PhilipDunboynethinksso。Hesaidtome,’I
  resistthetemptationbecauseImightbewantinginrespectifI
  gavewaytoit。ButIshouldliketofollowherwhenshegoesout——merelyforthepleasureofseeingherwalk。’"
  Istoodstockstill。Isaidnothing。Whenyouareasproudasapeacock(whichneverhappenedtomebefore),Ifindyoucan’tmoveandcan’ttalk。Youcanonlyenjoyyourself。
  KindMrs。Staveleyhadmorethingstotellme。Shesaid:"IaminterestedinPhilip。IlivednearFairmountinthetimebeforeI
  wasmarried;andinthosedayshewasachild。Iwanthimtomarryacharminggirl,andbehappy。"
  WhatmademethinkdirectlyofMissStaveley?Whatmadememadtoknowifshewasthecharminggirl?Iwasboldenoughtoaskthequestion。Mrs。StaveleyturnedtomewiththatmischievouslookwhichIhavenoticedalready。IfeltasifIhadbeenrunningatthetopofmyspeed,andhadnotgotmybreathagain,yet。
  Butthisgoodmotherlyfriendsetmeatmyease。Sheexplainedherself:"Philipisnotmuchliked,poorfellow,inourhouse。Myhusbandconsidershimtobeweakandvainandfickle。Andmydaughteragreeswithherfather。TherearetimeswhensheisbarelyciviltoPhilip。Heistoogood—naturedtocomplain,but_I_seeit。Tellme,mydear,doyoulikePhilip?"
  "OfcourseIdo!"Outitcameinthosewords,beforeIcouldstopit。WastheresomethingunbecomingtoayoungladyinsayingwhatIhadjustsaid?Mrs。Staveleyseemedtobemoreamusedthanangrywithme。Shetookmyarmkindly,andledmealongwithher。"Mydear,youareasclearascrystal,andastrueassteel。Youareafavoriteofminealready。"
  Whatadelightfulwoman!asIsaidjustnow。Iaskedifshereallylikedmeaswellasshelikedmysister。
  Shesaid:"Better。"
  Ididn’texpectthat,anddidn’twantit。Helenaismysuperior。
  SheisprettierthanIam,clevererthanIam,betterworthlikingthanIam。Mrs。StaveleyshiftedthetalkbacktoPhilip。
  IoughttohavesaidMr。Philip。No,Iwon’t;IshallcallhimPhilip。IfIhadaheartofstone,Ishouldfeelinterestedinhim,afterwhatMrs。Staveleyhastoldme。
  Suchasadstory,insomerespects。Motherdead;nobrothersorsisters。Onlythefatherleft;helivesadismallifeonalonelystormycoast。Notasevereoldgentleman,forallthat。Hisreasonsfortakingtoretirementarereasons(soMrs。Staveleysays)whichnobodyknows。Heburieshimselfamonghisbooks,inanimmenselibrary;andheappearstolikeit。Hissonhasnotbeenbroughtup。likeotheryoungmen,atschoolandcollege。Heisagreatscholar,educatedathomebyhisfather。Tohearthisaccountofhislearningdepressedme。Itseemedtoputsuchadistancebetweenus。IaskedMrs。Staveleyifhethoughtmeignorant。AslongasIliveIshallrememberthereply:"Hethinksyoucharming。"
  Anyothergirlwouldhavebeensatisfiedwiththis。Iamthemiserablecreaturewhoisalwaysmakingmistakes。MystupidcuriosityspoiledthecharmofMrs。Staveley’sconversation。Andyetitseemedtobeaharmlessquestion;IonlysaidIshouldliketoknowwhatprofessionPhilipbelongedto。
  Mrs。Staveleyanswered:"Noprofession。"
  Ifoolishlyputawrongmeaningonthis。Isaid:"Isheidle?"
  Mrs。Staveleylaughed。"Mydear,heisanonlyson——andhisfatherisarichman。"
  Thatstoppedme——atlast。
  Wehaveenoughtoliveonincomfortathome——nomore。Papahastoldushimselfthatheisnot(andcanneverhopetobe)arichman。Thisisnottheworstofit。Lastyear,herefusedtomarryayoungcouple,bothbelongingtoourcongregation。Thiswasveryunlikehisusualkindself。HelenaandIaskedhimforhisreasons。Theywerereasonsthatdidnottakelongtogive。Theyounggentleman’sfatherwasarichman。Hehadforbiddenhissontomarryasweetgirl——becauseshehadnofortune。
  Ihavenofortune。AndPhilip’sfatherisarichman。
  ThebestthingIcandoistowipemypen,andshutupmyJournal,andgohomebythenexttrain。
  IhaveagreatmindtoburnmyJournal。IttellsmethatIhadbetternotthinkofPhilipanymore。
  Onsecondthoughts,Iwon’tdestroymyJournal;Iwillonlyputitaway。IfIlivetobeanoldwoman,itmayamusemetoopenmybookagain,andseehowfoolishthepoorwretchwaswhenshewasyoung。
  Whatisthisachingpaininmyheart?
  Idon’trememberitatanyothertimeinmylife。Isittrouble?
  HowcanItell?——Ihavehadsolittletrouble。ItmustbemanyyearssinceIwaswretchedenoughtocry。Idon’tevenunderstandwhyIamcryingnow。Mylastsorrow,sofarasIcanremember,wasthetoothache。Othergirls’motherscomfortthemwhentheyarewretched。Ifmymotherhadlived——it’suselesstothinkaboutthat。Welosther,whileIandmysisterweretooyoungtounderstandourmisfortune。
  IwishIhadneverseenPhilip。
  Thisseemsanungratefulwish。Seeinghimatthepicture—showwasanewenjoyment。SittingnexttohimatdinnerwasahappinessthatIdon’trecollectfeeling,evenwhenPapahasbeenmostsweetandkindtome。Ioughttobeashamedofmyselftoconfessthis。ShallIwritetomysister?Buthowshouldsheknowwhatisthematterwithme,whenIdon’tknowitmyself?Besides,Helenaisangry;shewroteunkindlytomewhensheansweredmylastletter。
  Thereisadreadfullonelinessinthisgreathouseatnight。I
  hadbettersaymyprayers,andtrytosleep。Ifitdoesn’tmakemefeelhappier,itwillpreventmespoilingmyJournalbydroppingtearsonit。
  Whataneveningofeveningsthishasbeen!Lastnightitwascryingthatkeptmeawake。To—nightIcan’tsleepforjoy。
  Philipcalledonusagainto—day。HebroughtwithhimticketsfortheperformanceofanOratorio。Sacredmusicisnotforbiddenmusicamongourpeople。Mrs。StaveleyandMissStaveleywenttotheconcertwithus。PhilipandIsatnexttoeachother。
  Mysisterisamusician——Iamnothing。Thatsoundsbitter;butI
  don’tmeanitso。AllImeanis,thatIlikesimplelittlesongs,whichIcansingtomyselfbyrememberingthetune。There,mymusicalenjoymentends。Whenvoicesandinstrumentsburstouttogetherbyhundreds,Ifeelbewildered。Ialsogetattackedbyfidgets。Thislastmisfortuneissuretoovertakemewhenchorusesarebeingperformed。Theunfortunatepeopleemployedaremadetokeepsingingthesamewords,overandoverandoveragain,tillIfinditaperfectmiserytolistentothem。Thechoruseswereunendurableintheperformanceto—night。Thisisoneofthem:"Hereweareallaloneinthewilderness——aloneinthewilderness——inthewildernessalone,alone,alone——hereweareinthewilderness——aloneinthewilderness——allallaloneinthewilderness,"andsoon,tillIfeltinclinedtocallforthelearnedpersonwhowritesOratorios,andbeghimtogivethepoormusicamoregenerousallowanceofwords。
  WheneverIlookedatPhilip,Ifoundhimlookingatme。Perhapshesawfromthefirstthatthemusicwaswearyingmusictomyignorantears。Withhisusualdelicacyhesaidnothingforsometime。Butwhenhecaughtmeyawning(thoughIdidmybesttohideit,foritlookedlikebeingungratefulforthetickets),thenhecouldrestrainhimselfnolonger。Hewhisperedinmyear:
  "Youaregettingtiredofthis。AndsoamI。"
  "Iamtryingtolikeit,"Iwhisperedback。
  "Don’ttry,"heanswered。"Let’stalk。"
  Hemeant,ofcourse,talkinwhispers。Wewereagooddealannoyed——especiallywhenthecharacterswereallaloneinthewilderness——byburstsofsingingandplayingwhichinterruptedusatthemostinterestingmoments。Philipperseveredwithamanlyfirmness。WhatcouldIdobutfollowhisexample——atadistance?
  Hesaid:"IsitreallytruethatyourvisittoMrs。Staveleyiscomingtoanend?"
  Ianswered:"Itcomestoanendthedayafterto—morrow。"
  "AreyousorrytobeleavingyourfriendsinLondon?"
  WhatImighthavesaidifhehadmadethatinquiryadayearlier,whenIwasthemostmiserablecreatureliving,Iwouldrathernottrytoguess。Beingquitehappyasthingswere,IcouldhonestlytellhimIwassorry。
  "Youcan’tpossiblybeassorryasIam,Eunice。MayIcallyoubyyourprettyname?"
  "Yes,ifyouplease。"
  "Eunice!"
  "Yes。"
  "Youwillleaveablankinmylifewhenyougoaway——"
  Thereanotherchorusstoppedhim,justasIwaseagerformore。
  ItwassuchadelightfullynewsensationtohearayounggentlemantellingmethatIhadleftablankinhislife。ThenextchangeintheOratoriobroughtupayounglady,singingalone。Somepeoplebehindusgrumbledatthesmallnessofhervoice。Wethoughthervoiceperfect。Itseemedtolenditselfsonicelytoourwhispers。
  Hesaid:"Willyouhelpmetothinkofyouwhileyouareaway?I
  wanttoimaginewhatyourlifeisathome。Doyouliveinatownorinthecountry?"
  Itoldhimthenameofourtown。Whenwegiveapersoninformation,Ihavealwaysheardthatweoughttomakeitcomplete。SoImentionedouraddressinthetown。ButIwastroubledbyadoubt。Perhapshepreferredthecountry。Beinganxiousaboutthis,Isaid:"WouldyouratherhaveheardthatI
  liveinthecountry?"
  "Livewhereyoumay,Eunice,theplacewillbeafavoriteplaceofmine。Besides,yourtownisfamous。Ithasapublicattractionwhichbringsvisitorstoit。"
  Imadeanotherofthosemistakeswhichnosensiblegirl,inmyposition,wouldhavecommitted。Iaskedifhealludedtoournewmarket—place。
  Hesetmerightinthesweetestmanner:"Ialludedtoabuildinghundredsofyearsolderthanyourmarket—place——yourbeautifulcathedral。"
  Fancymynothavingthoughtofthecathedral!ThisiswhatcomesofbeingaCongregationalist。IfIhadbelongedtotheChurchofEngland,Ishouldhaveforgottenthemarket—place,andrememberedthecathedral。NotthatIwanttobelongtotheChurchofEngland。Papa’schapelisgoodenoughforme。
  Thesongsungbytheladywiththesmallvoicewassoprettythattheaudienceencoredit。Didn’tPhilipandIhelpthem!Withthesweetestsmilestheladysangitalloveragain。Thepeoplebehinduslefttheconcert。
  Hesaid:"Doyouknow,Itakethegreatestinterestincathedrals。Iproposetoenjoytheprivilegeandpleasureofseeing_your_cathedralearlynextweek。"
  IhadonlytolookathimtoseethatIwasthecathedral。Itwasnosurprisetohearnextthathethoughtof"payinghisrespectstoMr。Gracedieu。"Hebeggedmetotellhimwhatsortofreceptionhemighthopetomeetwithwhenhecalledatourhouse。
  IgotsoexcitedindoingjusticetopapathatIquiteforgottowhisperwhenthenextquestioncame。PhilipwantedtoknowifMr。
  Gracedieudislikedstrangers。WhenIanswered,"Ohdear,no!"I
  saiditoutloud,sothatthepeopleheardme。Cruel,cruelpeople!Theyallturnedroundandstared。Onehideousoldwomanactuallysaid,"Silence!"MissStaveleylookeddisgusted。EvenkindMrs。Staveleyliftedhereyebrowsinastonishment。
  Philip,dearPhilip,protectedandcomposedme。
  Heheldmyhanddevotedlytilltheendoftheperformance。Whenheputusintothecarriage,Iwaslast。Hewhisperedinmyear:
  "Expectmenextweek。"MissStaveleymightbeasill—naturedasshepleased,onthewayhome。Itdidn’tmatterwhatshesaid。TheEuniceofyesterdaymighthavebeenmortifiedandoffended。TheEuniceofto—daywasindifferenttothesharpestthingsthatcouldbesaidtoher。
  Allthroughyesterday’sdelightfulevening,IneveroncethoughtofPhilip’sfather。WhenIwokethismorning,IrememberedthatoldMr。Dunboynewasarichman。Icouldeatnobreakfastforthinkingofthepoorgirlwhowasnotallowedtomarryheryounggentleman,becauseshehadnomoney。
  Mrs。Staveleywaitedtospeaktometilltherestofthemhadleftustogether。IhadexpectedhertonoticethatIlookeddullanddismal。No!herclevernessgotatmysecretinquiteanotherway。
  Shesaid:"Howdoyoufeelaftertheconcert?Youmustbehardtopleaseindeedifyouwerenotsatisfiedwiththeaccompanimentslastnight。"
  "TheaccompanimentsoftheOratorio?"
  "No,mydear。TheaccompanimentsofPhilip。"
  IsupposeIoughttohavelaughed。Inmymiserablestateofmind,itwasnottobedone。Isaid:"IhopeMr。Dunboyne’sfatherwillnothearhowkindhewastome。"
  Mrs。Staveleyaskedwhy。
  Mybitternessoverflowedatmytongue。Isaid:"Becausepapaisapoorman。"
  "AndPhilip’spapaisarichman,"saysMrs。Staveley,puttingmyownthoughtintowordsforme。"Wheredoyougettheseideas,Eunice?Surely,youarenotallowedtoreadnovels?"
  "Ohno!"
  "Andyouhavecertainlyneverseenaplay?"
  "Never。"
  "Clearyourhead,child,ofthenonsensethathasgotintoit——I
  can’tthinkhow。RichMr。Dunboynehastaughthisheirtodespisethebaseactofmarryingformoney。HeknowsthatPhilipwillmeetyoungladiesatmyhouse;andhehaswrittentomeonthesubjectofhisson’schoiceofawife。’LetPhilipfindgoodprinciples,goodtemper,andgoodlooks;andIpromisebeforehandtofindthemoney。’Thereiswhathesays。AreyousatisfiedwithPhilip’sfather,now?"
  Ijumpedupinastateofecstasy。JustasIhadthrownmyarmsroundMrs。Staveley’sneck,theservantcameinwithaletter,andhandedittome。
  Helenahadwrittenagain,onthislastdayofmyvisit。Herletterwasfullofinstructionsforbuyingthingsthatshewants,beforeIleaveLondon。IreadonquietlyenoughuntilIcametothepostscript。Theeffectofitonmemaybetoldintwowords:
  Iscreamed。Mrs。Staveleywasnaturallyalarmed。"Badnews?"sheasked。Beingquiteunabletoofferanopinion,Ireadthepostscriptoutloud,andlefthertojudgeforherself。
  ThiswasHelena’snewsfromhome:
  "Imustprepareyouforasurprise,beforeyourreturn。Youwillfindastrangeladyestablishedathome。Don’tsupposethereisanyprospectofherbiddingusgood—by,ifweonlywaitlongenough。Sheisalready(withfather’sfullapproval)asmuchamemberofthefamilyasweare。Youshallformyourownunbiasedopinionofher,Eunice。Forthepresent,Isaynomore。"
  IaskedMrs。Staveleywhatshethoughtofmynewsfromhome。Shesaid:"Yourfatherapprovesofthelady,mydear。Isupposeit’sgoodnews。"
  ButMrs。Staveleydidnotlookasifshebelievedinthegoodnews,forallthat。
  CHAPTERXIV。
  HELENA’SDIARY。
  TO—DAYIwentasusualtotheScripture—classforgirls。Itwasharderworkthanever,teachingwithoutEunicetohelpme。
  Indeed,Ifeltlonelyalldaywithoutmysister。WhenIgothome,Iratherhopedthatsomefriendmighthavecometoseeus,andhavebeenaskedtostaytotea。Thehousemaidopenedthedoortome。IaskedMariaifanybodyhadcalled。
  "Yes,miss;alady,toseethemaster。"
  "Astranger?"
  "Neversawherbefore,miss,inallmylife。"Iputnomorequestions。Manyladiesvisitmyfather。TheycallitconsultingtheMinister。Headvisesthemintheirtroubles,andguidesthemintheirreligiousdifficulties,andsoon。Theycomeandgoinasortofsecrecy。SofarasIknow,theyaremostlyoldmaids,andtheywastetheMinister’stime。
  Whenmyfathercameintotea,Ibegantofeelsomecuriosityabouttheladywhohadcalledonhim。Visitorsofthatsort,ingeneral,neverappeartodwellonhismindaftertheyhavegoneaway;heseestoomanyofthem,andistoowellaccustomedtowhattheyhavetosay。Onthisparticularevening,however,I
  perceivedappearancesthatsetmethinking;helookedworriedandanxious。
  "Hasanythinghappened,father,tovexyou?"Isaid。
  "Yes。"
  "Istheladyconcernedinit?"
  "Whatlady,mydear?"
  "TheladywhocalledonyouwhileIwasout。"
  "Whotoldyoushehadcalledonme?"
  "IaskedMaria——"
  "Thatwilldo,Helena,forthepresent。"
  Hedrankhisteaandwentbacktohisstudy,insteadofstayingawhile,andtalkingpleasantlyasusual。Myrespectsubmittedtohiswantofconfidenceinme;butmycuriositywasinastateofrevolt。IsentforMaria,andproceededtomakemyowndiscoveries,withthisresult:
  Nootherpersonhadcalledatthehouse。Nothinghadhappened,exceptthevisitofthemysteriouslady。"Shelookedbetweenyoungandold。And,ohdearme,shewascertainlynotpretty。Notdressednicely,tomymind;buttheydosaydressisamatteroftaste。"
  TryasImight,Icouldgetnomorethanthatoutofourstupidyounghousemaid。
  Laterintheevening,thecookhadoccasiontoconsultmeaboutsupper。Thiswasapersonpossessingtheadvantagesofageandexperience。Iaskedifshehadseenthelady。Thecook’sreplypromisedsomethingnew:"Ican’tsayIsawthelady;butIheardher。"
  "Doyoumeanthatyouheardherspeaking?"
  "No,miss——crying。"
  "Wherewasshecrying?"
  "Inthemaster’sstudy。"
  "Howdidyoucometohearher?"
  "AmItounderstand,miss,thatyoususpectmeoflistening?"
  Isalietoldbyalookasbadasalietoldbywords?Ilookedshockedatthebareideaofsuspectingarespectablepersonoflistening。Thecook’ssenseofhonorwassatisfied;shereadilyexplainedherself:"Iwaspassingthedoor,miss,onmywayupstairs。"
  Heremydiscoveriescametoanend。Itwascertainlypossiblethatanafflictedmemberofmyfather’scongregationmighthavecalledonhimtobecomforted。Butheseesplentyofafflictedladies,withoutlookingworriedandanxiousaftertheyleavehim。
  Stillsuspectingsomethingoutoftheordinarycourseofevents,Iwaitedhopefullyforournextmeetingatsupper—time。Nothingcameofit。Myfatherleftmebymyselfagain,whenthemealwasover。Heisalwayscourteoustohisdaughters;andhemadeanapology:"Excuseme,Helena,Iwanttothink。"
  Iwenttobedinavilehumor,andsleptbadly;wondering,inthelongwakefulhours,whatnewrebuffIshouldmeetwithonthenextday。
  AtbreakfastthismorningIwasagreeablysurprised。Nosignsofanxietyshowedthemselvesinmyfather’sface。Insteadofretiringtohisstudywhenwerosefromthetable,heproposedtakingaturninthegarden:"Youarelookingpale,Helena,andyouwillbethebetterforalittlefreshair。Besides,Ihavesomethingtosaytoyou。"
  Excitement,Iamsure,isgoodforyoungwomen。Isawinhisface,Iheardinhislastwords,thatthemysteryoftheladywasatlasttoberevealed。Thesensationoflanguorandfatiguewhichfollowsadisturbednightleftmedirectly。