XIII。
Jeffcameintotheuglyoldfamilyparlor,wherehismothersatmendingbythekerosene—lampwhichshehadkeptthroughallthehouseholdchanges,andpushedenoughofherworkasidefromthecornerofthetabletoresthisarmuponit。
"Mother,Iwantyoutolistentome,andtowaittillIgetdone。Willyou?"
Shelookedupathimoverherspectaclesfromthestockingshewasdarning;thechinaegggleamedthroughthefrayedplace。"Whatnotionhaveyougotinyourhead,now?"
"It’saboutJackson。Heisn’twell。He’sgottoleaveoffworkandgoaway。"
Themother’shanddroppedattheendoftheyarnshehaddrawnthroughthestockingheel,andshestaredatJeff。Thensheresumedherworkwiththedecisionexpressedinhertone。"Yourfatherlivedtobesixtyyearsold,andJacksona’n’tforty!Thedoctorsaidtherewa’n’tanyreasonwhyheshouldn’tliveaslongashisfatherdid。"
"I’mnotsayinghewon’tlivetoahundred。I’msayingheoughtn’ttostayanotherwinterhere,"Jeffsaid,decisively。
Mrs。Durginwassilentforatime,andthenshesaid。"Jeff,isthatyournotionaboutJackson,orwhoseisit?"
"It’smine,now。"
Mrs,Durginwaitedamoment。Thenshebegan,withafeelingquiteatvariancewithherwords:
"Well,I’llthankCynthyWhit’elltomindherownbusiness!Ofcourse,"
sheadded,andinwhatfollowedherfeelingworkedtothesurfaceinherwords,"Iknow’tshethinkstheworldofJackson,andhedoesofher;
andIpresumeshemeanswell。Iguessshe’dbemoreapttonotice,iftherewasanychange,thanwhatIshould。Whatdidshesay?"
Jefftold,asnearlyashecouldremember,andhetoldwhatCynthiaandhehadafterwardjointlyworkedoutastothebestthingforJacksontodo。Mrs。Durginlistenedfrowningly,butnotdisapprovingly,asitseemed;thoughattheendsheasked:"AndwhatamIgoingtodo,withJacksongone?"
Jefflaughed,withhisheaddown。"Well,IguessyouandCynthycouldrunit,withFrankandMr。Whitwell。"
"Mr。Whit’ell!"saidMrs。Durgin,concentratinginheraccentofhisnamethecontemptshecouldnotjustlypouroutontheothers。
"Oh,"Jeffwenton,"IdidthinkthatIcouldtakeholdwithyou,ifyoucouldbringyourselftoletmeoffthislastyearatHarvard。"
"Jeff!"saidhismother,reproachfully。"Youknowyoudon’tmeanthatyou’dgiveupyourlastyearincollege?"
"Idomeanit,butIdon’texpectyoutodoit;andIdon’taskit。I
suggestedittoCynthy,whenwegottotalkingitover,andshesawitwouldn’tdo。"
"Well,sheshowedsomesensethattime,"Mrs。Durginsaid。
"Idon’tknowwhenCynthyhasn’tshownsense;exceptonce,andthenI
guessitwasmyfault。"
"Whatdoyoumean?"
"Why,thisafternoonIaskedhertomarrymesometime,andshesaidshewould。"Helookedathismotherandlaughed,andthenhedidnotlaugh。
Hehadexpectedhertobepleased;hehadthoughttopavethewaywiththisconfessionforthedeclarationofhisintentionnottostudylaw,andtomakehisengagementtoCynthiaservehiminreconcilinghismothertotheotherfact。Butamenacingsuspensefollowedhiswords。
Hismotherbrokeoutatlast:"YouaskedCynthyWhit’elltomarryyou!
Andshesaidshewould!Well,Icantellhershewon’t,then!"
"AndIcantellyoushewill!"Jeffstormedback。Herosetohisfeetandstoodoverhismother。
Shebegansteadily,asifhehadnotspoken。"Ifthatdesignin’——"
"Lookout,mother!Don’tyousayanythingagainstCynthia!She’sbeenthebestgirltoyouintheworld,andyouknowit。She’sbeenastruetoyouasJacksonhashimself。Shehasn’tgotaselfishboneinherbody,andshe’ssohonestshecouldn’tdesignanythingagainstyouoranyone,unlessshetoldyoufirst。Nowyoutakethatback!Takeitback!
She’snomoredesigningthan——thanyouare!"
Mrs。Durginwasnotmovedbyhisstorming,butshewasinwardlyconvincedoferror。"Idotakeitback。Cynthyisallright。She’sallyousayandmore。It’syourfault,then,andyou’vegotyourselftothank,forwhoseverfaultitis,she’llpack——"
"IfCynthypacks,Ipack!"saidJeff。"Understandthat。ThemomentsheleavesthishouseIleaveit,too,andI’llmarryheranyway。Frank’dleaveand——and——Pshaw!Whatdoyoucareforthat?ButIdon’tknowwhatyoumean!IalwaysthoughtyoulikedCynthyandrespectedher。Ididn’tbelieveIcouldtellyouathingthatwouldpleaseyoubetterthanthatshehadsaidshewouldhaveme。Butifitdon’t,allright。"
Mrs。Durginheldherpeaceinbewilderment;shestaredathersonwithdazedeyes,underthespectaclesliftedaboveherforehead。Shefeltachangeofmoodinhisunchangedtoneofdefiance,andshemethimhalf—
way。"ItellyouItakebackwhatIcalledCynthia,andItoldyouso。
But——butIdidn’teverexpectyoutomarryher。"
"Whydidn’tyou?Thereisn’toneofthesummerfolkstocomparewithher。She’sgotmoresensethanallof’em。I’veknownhereversinceI
canremember。Whydidn’tyouexpectit?"
"Ididn’texpectit。"
"Oh,Iknow!YouthoughtI’dseesomebodyinBoston——someswellgirl。
Well,theywouldn’tanyofthemlookatme,andiftheywould,theywouldn’tlookatyou。"
"Ishouldn’tcarewhethertheylookedatmeornot。"
"Itellyoutheywouldn’tlookatme。Youdon’tunderstandaboutthesethings,andIdo。Theymarrytheirownkind,andI’mnottheirkind,andIshouldn’tbeifIwasDanielWebsterhimself。DanielWebster!
Whoremembershim,orcaresforhim,oreverdid?Youdon’tbelieveit?
YouthinkthatbecauseI’vebeenatHarvard——Oh,can’tImakeyouseeit?
I’mwhattheycallajayinHarvard,andHarvarddon’tcountifyou’reajay。"
Hismotherlookedathimwithoutspeaking。Shewouldnotconfesstheambitionhetaxedherwith,andperhapsshehadnothingsodefiniteinhermind。Perhapsitwasonlyherprideinhim,andherfaithinasplendidfutureforhim,thatmadeheraversetohismarriageinthelotshehadalwaysknown,andonalittlelowerlevelinitthatherown。
Shesaidatlast:
"Idon’tknowwhatyoumeanbybeingajay。ButIguesswebetternotsayanythingmoreaboutthisto—night。"
"Allright,"Jeffreturned。Thereneverwereanyformalgood—nightsbetweentheDurgins,andhewentawaynowwithoutfurtherwords。
Hismotherremainedsittingwherehelefther。Twoorthreetimesshedrewheremptydarning—needlethroughtheheelofthestockingshewasmending。
ShewasstillsittingtherewhenJacksonpassedonhiswaytobed,afterleavingtheofficeinchargeofthenightporter。Hefaltered,ashewentby,andashestoodonthethresholdshetoldhimwhatJeffhadtoldher。
"That’sgood,"hesaid,lifelessly。"GoodforJeff,"headded,thoughtfully,conscientiously。
"Whya’n’titgoodforher,too?"demandedJeff’smother,inquickresentmentoftheslightputuponhim。
"Ididn’tsayitwa’n’t,"saidJackson。"Butit’sbetterforJeff。"
"Shemaybeverygladtogethim!"
"Ipresumesheis。She’salwayscaredforhim,Iguess。She’llknowhowtomanagehim。"
"Idon’tknow,"saidMrs。Durgin,"asIliketohaveyoutalkso,aboutJeff。Hewashere,justnow,wantin’togiveuphislastyearinHarvard,so’stoletyougooffonavacation。Hethinksyou’veworkedyourselfdown。"
JacksonmadenorecognitionofJeff’sprofessedself—sacrifice。"Idon’twantanyvacation。I’mfeelingfirst—ratenow。IguessthatstuffIhadfromthewritin’mediumhasbeguntotakeholdofme。Idon’tknowwhenI’vefeltsowell。IbelieveI’mgoingtogetstrongerthaneverIwas。
JeffsayIneededarest?"
Somethinglikeasmileofcompassionforthedelusionofhisbrotherdawneduponthesickman’swastedface,whichwasblotchedwithlargefreckles,andstaredwithdim,largeeyesfromoutaframeworkofgrayishhair,andgrayishbeardcuttotheedgesofthecheeksandchin。
XXIV。
Mrs。DurginandCynthiadidnotseekanyformalmeetingthenextmorning。
Thecourseoftheirworkbroughtthemtogether,butitwasnottillaftertheyhadtransactedseveralhouseholdaffairsofpressingimportancethatMrs。Durginasked:"What’sthisaboutyouandJeff?"
"Hashebeentellingyou?"askedCynthia,inherturn,thoughsheknewhehad。
"Yes,"saidMrs。Durgin,withacertaindryness,whichwashalfhumorous。
"Ipresume,ifyoutwoaresatisfied,it’sallright。"
"Iguesswe’resatisfied,"saidthegirl,withatremorofreliefwhichshetriedtohide。
Nothingmorewassaid,andtherewasnophysicaldemonstrationofaffectionorrejoicingbetweenthewomen。Theyknewthatthetimewouldcomewhentheywouldtalkovertheaffairdowntothebonetogether,butnowtheywerecontenttorecognizethefact,andletthetimefortalkingarrivewhenitwould。"Iguess,"saidMrs。Durgin,"you’dbettergoovertothehelps’houseandseehowthatyoungestMillergirl’sgittin’
along。She’doughttogiveupandgohomeifshea’n’tfitforherwork。"
"I’llgoandseeher,"saidCynthia。"Idon’tbelieveshe’sstrongenoughforawaitress,andIhavegottotellherso。"
"Well,"returnedMrs。Durgin,glumly,afteramoment’sreflection,"Ishouldn’twantyoushouldhurryher。Waittillshe’soutofbed,andgiveheranotherchance。"
"Allright。"
Jeffhadbeenlurkingaboutfortheeventoftheinterview,andhewaylaidCynthiaonthepathtothehelps’house。
"I’mgoingovertoseethatyoungestMillergirl,"sheexplained。
"Yes,Iknowallaboutthat,"saidJeff。"Well,mothertookitjustright,didn’tshe?Youcan’talwayscountonher;butIhadn’tmuchanxietyinthiscase。Shelikesyou,Cynthia。"
"Iguessso,"saidthegirl,demurely;andshelookedawayfromhimtosmileherpleasureinthefact。
"ButIbelieveifshehadn’tknownyouwerewithheraboutmylastyearinHarvard——itwouldhavebeendifferent。Icouldsee,whenIbroughtitinthatyouwantedmetogoback,hermindwasmadeupforyou。"
"Whyneedyousayanythingaboutthat?"
"Oh,Iknewitwouldclinchher。Iunderstandmother。Ifyouwantsomethingfromheryoumustn’taskitstraightout。Youmustproposesomethingverydisagreeable。Thenwhensherefusesthat,youcancomeinforwhatyouwerereallyafterandgetit。"
"Idon’tknow,"saidCynthia,"asIshouldliketothinkthatyourmotherhadbeentrickedintofeelingrightaboutme。"
"Tricked!"ThecolorflashedupinJeff’sface。
"Notthat,Jeff,"saidthegirl,tenderly。"ButyouknowwhatImean。
Ihopeyoutalkeditalloutfullywithher。"
"Fully?Idon’tknowwhatyoumean。"
"Aboutyournotstudyinglaw,and——everything。"
"Idon’tbelieveincrossingarivertillIcometoit,"saidJeff。
"Ididn’tsayanythingtoheraboutthat。"
"Youdidn’t!"
"No。Whathaditgottodowithourbeingengaged?"
"WhathadyourgoingbacktoHarvardtodowithit?IfyourmotherthinksI’mwithherinthat,she’llthinkI’mwithherintheother。
AndI’mnot。I’mwithyou。"Sheletherhandfindhis,astheywalkedsidebyside,andgaveitalittlepressure。
"It’sthegreatestthing,Cynthy,"hesaid,breathlessly,"tohaveyouwithmeinthat。But,ifyousaidIoughttostudylaw,Ishoulddoit。"
"Ishouldn’tsaythat,forIbelieveyou’reright;butevenifIbelievedyouwerewrong,Ishouldn’tsayit。Youhavearighttomakeyourlifewhatyouwantit;andyourmotherhasn’t。Onlyshemustknowit,andyoumusttellheratonce。"
"Atonce?"
"Yes——now。Whatgoodwillitdotoputitoff?You’renotafraidtotellher!"
"Idon’tlikeyoutousethatword。"
"AndIdon’tliketouseit。ButIknowhowitis。You’reafraidthatthebruntofitwillcomeonME。She’llthinkyou’reallright,butI’mallwrongbecauseIagreewithyou。"
"Somethinglikethat。"
"Well,now,I’mnotafraidofanythingshecansay;andwhatcouldshedo?Shecan’tpartus,unlessyoulether,andthenIshouldlether,too。"
"Butwhat’sthehurry?What’stheneedofdoingitrightoff?"
"Becauseit’sadeceitnottodoit。It’salie!"
"Idon’tseeitinthatlight。Imightchangemymind,andstillgoonandstudylaw。"
"Youknowyouneverwill。Now,Jeff!Whydoyouactso?"
Jeffdidnotansweratonce。Hewalkedbesideherwithafaceoftroublethatbecameoneofresolveinthesetjaws。"Iguessyou’reright,Cynthy。She’sgottoknowtheworst,andthesoonersheknowsitthebetter。"
"Yes!"
Hehadanothermomentoffaltering。"Youdon’twantIshouldtalkitoverwithMr。Westover?"
"Whathashegottodowithit?"
"That’strue!"
"Ifyouwanttoseeitintherightlight,youcanthinkyou’veletitrunontillafteryou’reoutofcollege,andthenyou’vegottotellher。
Supposesheaskedyouhowlongyouhadmadeupyourmindagainstthelaw,howshouldyoufeel?AndifsheaskedmewhetherI’dknownitallalong,andIhadtosayIhad,andthatI’dsupportedandencouragedyouinit,howshouldIfeel?"
"Shemightn’taskanysuchquestion,"saidJeff,gloomily。Cynthiagavealittleimpatient"Oh!"andhehastenedtoadd:"Butyou’reright;I’vegottotellher。I’lltellherto—night——"
"Don’twaittillto—night;doitnow。"
"Now?"
"Yes;andI’llgowithyouassoonasI’veseentheyoungestMillergirl。"Theyhadreachedthehelps’housenow,andCynthiasaid:"Youwaitoutsidehere,andI’llgorightbackwithyou。Oh,Ihopeitisn’tdoingwrongtoputitofftillI’veseenthatgirl!"Shedisappearedthroughthedoor,andJeffwaitedbythestepsoutside,pluckinguponelonggrassstemafteranotherandbitingitintwo。WhenCynthiacameoutshesaid:"Iguessshe’llbeallright。Nowcome,anddon’t—loseanothersecond。"
"You’reafraidIsha’n’tdoitifIwaitanylonger!"
"I’mafraidIsha’n’t。"Therewasasilenceafterthis。
"DoyouknowwhatIthinkofyou,Cynthy?"askedJeff,hurryingtokeepupwithherquicksteps。"You’vegotmorecourage——"
"Oh,don’tpraiseme,orIshallbreakdown!"
"I’llseethatyoudon’tbreakdown,"saidJeff,tenderly。"It’sthegreatestthingtohaveyougowithme!"
"Why,don’tyouSEE?"shelamented。"Ifyouwentalone,andtoldyourmotherthatIapprovedofit,youwouldlookasifyouwereafraid,andwantedtogetbehindme;andI’mnotgoingtohavethat。"
Theyfound。Mrs。Durgininthedarkentryoftheoldfarmhouse,andCynthiasaid,withinvoluntaryimperiousness:"Comeinhere,Mrs。Durgin;
Iwanttotellyousomething。"
Sheledthewaytotheoldparlor,andshecheckedMrs。Durgin’squestion,"HasthatMillergirl——"
"Itisn’tabouther,"saidCynthy,pushingthedoorto。"It’saboutmeandJeff。"
Mrs。DurginbecameawareofJeff’spresencewithaneffectofsurprise。
"Therea’n’tanythingmore,isthere?"
"Yes,thereis!"Cynthiashrilled。"Now,Jeff!"
"It’sjustthis,mother:CynthythinksIoughttotellyou——andshethinksIoughttohavetoldyoulastnight——sheexpectedmeto——thatI’mnotgoingtostudylaw。"
"AndIapproveofhisnotdoingit,"Cynthiapromptlyfollowed,andsheputherselfbesideJeffwherehestoodinfrontofhismother’srocking—
chair。
Shelookedfromonetotheotherofthefacesbeforeher。"I’msorryasonofmine,"shesaid,withdignity,"hadtobetoldhowtoactwithhismother。But,ifhehad,Idon’tknowasanybodyhadabetterrighttodoitthanthegirlthat’sgoingtomarryhim。AndI’llsaythis,CynthiaWhitwell,beforeIsayanythingelse:you’vebegunright。IwishIcouldsayJeffhad。"
TherewasanuncomfortablemomentbeforeCynthiasaid:"Heexpectedtotellyou。"
"OhYes!Iknow,"saidhismother,sadly。Sheadded,sharply:"Anddidbeexpecttotellmewhatheintendedtodoforalivin’?"
"Jefftooktheword。"Yes,Idid。Iintendtokeepahotel。"
"Whathotel?"askedMrs。Durgin,withatouchoftauntinginhertone。
"Thisone。"
Themotherofthebold,rebelliousboythatJeffhadbeenstirredinMrs。
Durgin’sheart,andshelookedathimwiththeeyes,thatusedtocondonehismischief。Butshesaid:"Iguessyou’llfindoutthatthere’smorethanonehastoagreetothat。"
"Yes,therearetwo:youandJackson;andIdon’tknowbutwhatthree,ifyoucountCynthy,here。"
Hismotherturnedtothegirl。"Youthinkthisfellow’sgotsenseenoughtokeepahotel?"
"Yes,Mrs。Durgin,Ido。Ithinkhe’sgotgoodideasaboutahotel。"
"Andwhat’shegoin’todowithhiscollegeeducation?"
Jeffinterposed。"Youthinkthatallthecollegegraduatesturnoutlawyersanddoctorsandprofessors?Someof’emaremightygladtosweepoutbanksinhopesofaclerkship;andsometakeanysortofaplaceinamillorabusinesshouse,toworkup;andsomebumroundoutWest’oncattleranches;andsome,ifthey’relucky,getnewspaperreporters’
placesattendollarsaweek。"
Cynthiafollowedwiththegeneralization:"Idon’tbelieveanybodycanknowtoomuchtokeepahotel。Itwon’thurtJeffifhe’sbeentoHarvard,ortoEurope,either。"
"Iguessthere’sapairofyou,"saidMrs。Durgin,withsuperficialcontempt。Shewassilentforatime,andtheywaited。"Well,there!"
shebrokeoutagain。"I’vegotsomethingtochewuponforaspell,I
guess。Goalong,now,bothofyou!Andthenexttimeyou’vegottofaceyourmother,Jeff,don’tyoucomeinlookin’roundanybody’spetticoats!
I’llseeyoulateraboutallthis。"
Theywentawaywiththejoyfulshameofchildrenwhohaveescapedpunishment。
"That’sthelastofit,Cynthy,"saidJeff。
"Iguessso,"thegirlassented,withacertaingriefinhervoice。
"Iwishyouhadtoldherfirst!"
"Oh,nevermindthatnow!"criedJeff,andinthedimpassagewayhetookherinhisarmsandkissedher。
Hewouldhavereleasedher,butshelingeredinhisembrace。"Willyoupromisethatifthere’severanythinglikeitagain,youwon’twaitformetomakeyou?"
"Ilikeyourhavingmademe,butIpromise,"hesaid。
Thenshetightenedherarmsroundhisneckandkissedhim。
XXV。
ThewillofJeff’smotherrelaxeditsgripuponthepurposesolongheld,asifthemerestrainofthetenacityhadweariedandweakenedit。Whenitfinallyappearedthatherambitionforhersonwasnothisambitionforhimselfandwouldneverbe,sheabandonedit。Perhapsitwastheeasierforhertoforegoherhopesofhisdistinctionintheworld,becauseshehadlearnedbeforethatshemustforegoherhopesofhiminotherways。ShehadvaguelyfanciedthatwiththeacquaintancehiscareeratHarvardwouldopentohimJeffwouldmakeasplendidmarriage。
Shehadfolloweddarklingandstumblinghiscourseinsocietyasfarashewouldreportittoher,andwhenhewouldnotsufferhertogloryinit,shebelievedthathewasforbiddingherfromapridethatwouldnotrecognizeanythingoutofthecommoninit。Sheexultedinhispride,andshetookallhissnubbingreservestenderly,assomanyproofsofhissuccess。
Atthebottomofherheartshehadbothfearandcontemptofalltowns—
people,whomshegeneralizedfromherexperienceofthemassummerfolksofagreaterorlessersilliness。Sheoftenfoundherselfunabletocopewiththem,evenwhenshefeltthatshehadtwicetheirsense;sheperceivedthattheyhadsomethingfromtheirtrainingthatwithallherundisciplinedforceshecouldneverhopetowinfromherownenvironment。
Butshebelievedthathersonwouldhavetheadvantageswhichbaffledherinthem,forhewouldhavetheirenvironment;andshehadwishedhimtorivethisholduponthoseadvantagesbytakingawifefromamongthem,andbylivingthelifeoftheirworld。Herwishes,ofcourse,hadnosuchdistinctformulation,andthefeelingshehadtowardCynthiaasapossiblebarriertoherambitionhadnomoredefinition。TherehadbeentimeswhenthefitnessofhermarriagewithJeffhadmovedthemother’shearttoajealousythatshealwayskeptsilent,whileshehopedfortheaccidentortheprovidencewhichshouldannulthedanger。ButGenevieveVostrandhadnotbeenthekindofaccidentortheprovidencethatshewouldhaveinvoked,andwhenshesawJeff’sfancyturningtowardher,Mrs。DurginhadveeredroundtoCynthia。AllthesameshekeptakeeneyeupontheyoungladiesamongthesummerfolkswhocametoLion’sHead,andtacitlycanvassedtheirmeritsandinclinationswithrespecttoJeffintheoften—imaginedeventofhiscaringforanyoneofthem。Shefoundthatherartfullycasualreferencestoherson’sbeinginHarvardscarcelyaffectedtheirmothersintherightway。Thefactmadethemthinkoftheheadwaiterswhomtheyhadmetatotherhotels,andwhowereworkingtheirwaythroughDartmouthorWilliamsorYale,anditrequiredalltheforceofJeff’srobustpersonalitytodissipatetheirerroneousimpressionsofhim。Hetooktheirdaughtersoutoftheirarmsandfromundertheirnosesonlongdrivesuponhisbuckboard,anditbecameaconventionwiththemtotreathisattentionssomewhatlikethoseofapowerfulbutfaithfulvassal。
Whetherhewasindifferent,orwhethertheyoungladieswerecoy,noneoftheseofficialflirtationscametoanything。Heseemednottocareforonemorethananother;helaughedandjokedwiththemall,andhadanofficialmannerwitheachwhichservedsomewhatlikeadisparityofyearsinputtingthemattheireasewithhim。Theyagreedthathewasveryhandsome,andsomethoughthimverytalented;buttheyquestionedwhetherhewasquitewhatyouwouldcallagentleman。Itistruethatthismisgivingattackedthemmostlyinthemass;singly,theywerelittleornotatalltroubledbyit,andtheyseverallybehavedinanunprincipledindifferencetoit。
Mrs。Durginhadthecourageofherownpurposes,butshehadthefearofJeff’s。AfterthefirstpangofthedisappointmentwhichtookfinalshapefromhisdeclarationthathewasgoingtomarryCynthia,shedidnotreallycaremuch。Shehadthehabitofthegirl;sherespectedher,sheevenlovedher。Thechildren,asshethoughtofthem,hadknowneachotherfromtheirearliestdays;JeffhadpersecutedCynthiathroughouthisgracelessboyhood,buthehadneverintimidatedher;andhismother,withallherweaknessforhim,feltthatitwaswellforhimthathiswifeshouldbebraveenoughtostandupagainsthim。