首页 >出版文学> The Landlord At Lions Head>第26章
  Ifshewasnotthatnow,shewouldgrowintothatthroughthelapsefromthepersonaltotheancestralwhichweallundergointheprocessoftheyears。
  Thesightofherfaceashehadpicturedit,andofthesoulwhichbehadimaginedforit,restoredhimtoabettersenseofher,buthefelttheneedofescapingfromthesuggestionofherfather’spresence,andtakingfurtherthought。Perhapsheshouldneveragainreachthepointthathewasawareofdeflectingfromnow;hefilledhislungswithlongbreaths,whichheexhaledinsighsofrelief。Itmighthavebeenamistakeonthespiritualaswellastheworldlyside;itwouldcertainlynothavepromotedhiscareer;itmighthaveimpededit。Thesemisgivingsflittedoverthesurfaceofthoughtthatmoreprofoundlywasoccupiedwithaquestionofotherthings。Inthetimesincehehadseenherlastitmightverywellbethatayoungandprettygirlhadmetsomeonewhohadtakenherfancy;andhecouldnotbesurethatherfancyhadeverbeenhis,evenifthishadnothappened。Hehadnoproofatallthatshehadevercaredorcouldcareforhimexceptgratefully,respectfully,almostreverentially,withthatminglingoffilialandmaternalanxietywhichhadhithertobeenthewarmestexpressionofherregard。Hetriedtoreasonitout,andcouldnot。Hesuddenlyfoundhimselfbitterlydisappointedthathehadmissedseeingher,foriftheyhadmet,hewouldhaveknownbythistimewhattothink,whattohope。Hefeltold——
  hefeltfullythirty—sixyearsold——ashepassedhishandoverhiscrown,whosegossamergrowthopposedsolittleresistancetohistouch。Hehadbeguntolosehishairearly,buttillthenhehadnotmuchregrettedhisbaldness。Heenteredintoalittlequestionoftheircomparativeages,whichledhimtotheconclusionthatCynthiamustnowbeabouttwenty—
  five。
  Almostatthesamemomenthesawhercomingupthewalktowardhimfromfardowntheavenue。Forareason,orratheramotive,ofhisownhepretendedtohimselfthatitwasnotshe,butheknewinstantlythatitwas,andheputonhishat。Hecouldseethatshedidnotknowhim,anditwasaprettythingtowitnesstherecognitiondawnonher。Whenithaditsfulleffect,hewasawareofaflutter,apauseinherwholefigurebeforeshecameontowardhim,andhehurriedhisstepsforthecharmofherbeautifulblushingface。
  Itwasthespiritualeffectoffigureandfacethathehadcarriedinhisthoughteversincehehadarrivedatthatone—sidedintimacythroughhisstudyofherforthepicturehehadjustseen。Hehadoftenhadtoaskhimselfwhetherhehadreallyperceivedoronlyimaginedthecharacterhehadtranslatedintoit;buthere,forthemomentatleast,waswhathehadseen。Hehurriedforwardandjoyfullytookthehandshegavehim。
  Hethoughtheshouldspeakofthatatonce,butitwasnotpossible,ofcourse。Therehadtocomefirsttheunheededquestionsandanswersabouteachother’shealth,andmanyothercommonplaces。Heturnedandwalkedhomewithher,andatthegateofthelittleuglyhousesheaskedhimifhewouldnotcomeinandtaketeawiththem。
  Herfathertalkedwithhimwhileshegotthetea,andwhenitwasreadyherbrothercameinfromhiswalkhomeoutofOldCambridgeandhelpedherputitonthetable。HehadgrownmuchtallerthanWestover,andhewasveryecclesiasticalinhismanner;moresothanhewouldbe,probably,ifheeverbecameabishop,Westoverdecided。Jombateeste,inanintervalofsuspendedworkatthebrickyard,waspayingavisittohispeopleinCanada,andWestoverdidnotseehim。
  AllthetimewhiletheysatattableandtalkedtogetherWestoverrealizedmoreandmorethatforhim,atleast,theseparationofthelasttwoyearshadputthatspacebetweenthemwhichalonemadeitpossibleforthemtoapproacheachotheronnewground。Akindofhorror,ofrepulsion,forherengagementtoJeffDurginhadceasedfromhissenseofher;itwasasifshehadbeenunhappilymarried,andtheman,whohadbeenunworthyandunkind,waslikeaghostwhocouldnevercometotroublehisjoy。Hewasmorehercontemporary,hefound,thanformerly;
  shehadgrownagreatdealinthepasttwoyears,andacertainafflictionwhichherfather’sfixityhadgivenhimconcerningherpassedintheassuranceofchangewhichsheherselfgavehim。
  Shehadchangedherworld,andgrowntoit,buthernaturehadnotchanged。Evenherlookhadnotchanged,andhetoldherhowhehadseenhispictureinheratthemomentoftheirmeetinginthestreet。Theyallwentintoverifyhisimpressionfromthepainting。"Yes,thatisthewayyoulooked。"
  "ItseemstomethatisthewayIfelt,"sheasserted。
  Frankwentaboutthehouse—work,andlefthertotheirguest。WhenWhitwellcamebackfromthepost—office,wherehesaidhewouldonlybegoneaminute,hedidnotrejoinWestoverandCynthiaintheparlor。
  Theparlordoorwasshut;hehadriskedhisfate,andtheyweretalkingitover。Cynthiawasnotsure;shewassureofnothingbutthattherewasnooneintheworldshecaredforsomuch;butshewasnotsurethatwasenough。Shedidnotpretendthatshewassurprised;sheownedthatshehadsometimesexpectedit;sheblamedherselffornotexpectingitthen。
  Westoversaidthathedidnotblameherfornotknowinghermind;hehadbeenfifteenyearslearninghisownfully。Heaskedhertotakeallthetimeshewished。Ifshecouldnotmakesureafterall,heshouldalwaysbesurethatshewaswiseandgood。ShetoldhimeverythingtherewastotellofherbreakingwithJeff,andhethoughtthelastepisodeasupremeproofofherwisdomandgoodness。
  Afteracertaintimetheywentforawalkinthewarmsummermoonlightundertheelms,wheretheyhadmetontheavenue。
  "Isuppose,"shesaid,astheydrewnearherdooragain,"thatpeopledon’toftentalkitoveraswe’vedone。"
  "Weonlyknowfromthenovels,"heanswered。"Perhapspeopledo,oftenerthaniseverknown。Idon’tseewhytheyshouldn’t。"
  "No。"
  "I’veneverwishedtobesureofyousomuchassinceyou’vewishedtobesureofyourself。"
  "AndI’veneverbeensosureassinceyouwerewillingtoletme,"saidCynthia。
  "Iamgladofthat。Trytothinkofme,ifthatwillhelpmycause,assomeoneyoumighthavealwaysknowninthisway。Wedon’treallyknoweachotheryet。I’magreatdealolderthanyou,butstillI’mnotsoveryold。"
  "Oh,Idon’tcareforthat。AllIwanttobecertainofisthatthefeelingIhaveisreally——thefeeling。"
  "Iknow,dear,"saidWestover,andhisheartsurgedtowardherinhistendernessforhersimpleconscience,herwisequestion。"Taketime。
  Don’thurry。ForgetwhatI’vesaid——orno;that’sabsurd!Thinkofit;
  butdon’tletanythingbutthetruthpersuadeyou。Now,good—night,Cynthia。"
  "Good—night——Mr。Westover。"
  "Mr。Westover"hereproachedher。
  Shestoodthinking,asifthequestionwerecrucial。Thenshesaid,firmly,"IshouldalwayshavetocallyouMr。Westover。"
  "Oh,well,"hereturned,"ifthat’sall!"
  End