首页 >出版文学> The Landlord At Lions Head>第18章
  "Hesaidso。"
  "That’sveryniceofhim。Ifhecoulddevotehimselftoher;but——Andwouldsheliketogo?"
  "Topleasehim,shewould。"Westoverwassilent,andthegirlsurprisedhimbytheappealshesuddenlymadetohim。"Mr。Westover,doyoubelieveitwouldbeverywellforeitherofustogo?Ithinkitwouldbebetterforustoleaveallthatpartofhislifealone。It’snouseinpretendingthatwe’relikethekindofpeopleheknows,orthatweknowtheirways,andIdon’tbelieve——"
  Westoverfelthisheartriseinindignantsympathy。"Thereisn’tanyoneheknowstocomparewithyou!"hesaid,andinthishewasthinkingmainlyofBessieLynde。"You’reworthathousand——IfIwere——ifhe’shalfamanhewouldbeproud——Ibegyourpardon!Idon’tmean——butyouunderstand——"
  Cynthiaputherheadfaroutofthewindowandlookedalongthesteeproofbeforethem。"Thereisablindoffoneofthewindows。Ihearditclappinginthewindtheothernight。Imustgoandseethenumberoftheroom。"Shedrewherheadinquicklyandranawaywithoutlettinghimseeherface。
  Hefollowedher。"Letmehelpyouputitonagain!"
  "No,no!"shecalledback。"Frankwilldothat,orJombateeste,whentheycometoshutupthehouse。"
  XLI。
  Westover,didnotmeetDurginforseveraldaysafterhisreturnfromLion’sHead。HebroughtmessagesforhimfromhismotherandfromWhitwell,andhewaitedforhimtocomeandgetthemsolongthathehadtoblamehimselffornotsendingthemtohim。WhenJeffappeared,attheendofaweek,Westoverhadacertainembarrassmentinmeetinghim,andtheefforttoovercomethiscarriedhimbeyondhissincerity。Hewasawareoffeigningthecordialityheshowed,andofhavinglessreallikingforhimthaneverbefore。Hesuggestedthathemustbebusiereveryday,now,withhiscollegework,andheresentedtheairofsocialprosperitywhichJeffputoninsaying,Yes,therewasthat,andthenhehadsomeengagementswhichkepthimfromcominginsooner。
  Hedidnotsaywhattheengagementswere,andtheydidnotrecurtothethingstheyhadlastspokenof。WestovercouldnotdosowithoutJeff’sleading,andhewasrathergladthathegavenone。Hestayedonlyalittletime,whichwasspentmostlyinashowofinterestonbothsides,andthehollowhilaritieswhichpeopleusetomasktheirindifferencetooneanother’sbeinganddoing。JeffdeclaredthathehadneverseenWestoverlookingsowell,andsaidhemustgouptoLion’sHeadagain;ithaddonehimgood。Asforhispicture,itwasacorker;itmadehimfeelasifhewerethere!Heaskedaboutallthefolks,andreceivedWestover’sreplieswithvaguelaughter,andanabsenceinhisboldeye,whichmadethepainterwonderwhathismindwason,withoutthewishtofindout。Hewasgladtohavehimgo,thoughhepressedhimtodropinsoonagain,andsaidtheywouldtakeinaplaytogether。
  Jeffsaidhewouldliketodothat,andheaskedatthedoorwhetherWestoverwasgoingtotheteaatMrs。Bellingham’s。Hesaidhehadtolookinthere,beforehewentouttoCambridge;andleftWestoverinmuteamazeatthelengthhehadapparentlygoneinaroadthathadonceseemednothoroughfareforhim。Jeff’ssocialacceptance,evenaftertheEnderbyball,whichwasnowsomesixorsevenweekspast,hadbeenslow;
  butoflate,fornoreasonthatheoranyoneelsecouldhavegiven,ithadgainedasuddenprecipitance;andpeoplewhowonderedwhytheymethimatotherhousesbegantoaskhimtotheirown。
  Hedidnotcaretogototheirhouses,andhewentatfirstinthehopeofseeingBessieLyndeagain。Butthisdidnothappenforsometime,anditwasamid—Lententeathatbroughtthemtogether。Assoonashecaughtsightofherhewentuptoherandbegantotalkasiftheyhadbeeninthehabitofmeetingconstantly。Shecouldnotcontrolalittlestartathisapproach,andhefranklyrecognizedit。
  "What’sthematter?"
  "Oh——thewindow!"
  "Itisn’topen,"hesaid,tryingit。"Doyouwanttotryityourself?"
  "IthinkIcantrustyou,"sheanswered,butshesankalittleintotheshelterofthecurtains,nottobeseentalkingwithhim,perhaps,ornottobeinterrupted——shedidnotanalyzehermotiveclosely。
  Heremainedtalkingtoheruntilshewentaway,andthenhecontrivedtogowithher。Shedidnottrytoescapehimafterthat;eachtimetheymetshehadthepleasureofrealizingthattherehadneverbeenanydangerofwhatneverhappened。Butbeyondthisshecouldperhapshavegivennobetterreasonforherwillingnesstomeethimagainandagainthanthebewilderedwitnessesofthefact。Inhersetpeoplenotonlynevermarriedoutsideofit,buttheyneverflirtedoutsideofit。Foroneofthemselves,evenforagirllikeBessie,whomtheyhadnotquiteknownfromchildhood,tobeapparentlyamusingherselfwithamanlikethat,sowhollyalieninorigin,intradition,wassomethingunheardof;
  anditbegantolookasifBessieLyndewasmorethanamused。ItseemedtoMaryEnderbythatwherevershewentshesawthatmantalkingtoBessie。ShecouldhavebelievedthatitwasbysomeevilartthathealwayscontrivedtoreachBessie’sside,ifanythingcouldhavebeenlesslikeanykindofartthantheboldpushhemadeforherassoonashesawherinaroom。ButsometimesMissEnderbyfearedthatitwasBessiewhousedsuchfinesseastherewas,andalwaysputherselfwherehecouldseeher。Shewaitedwithtremblingforhertogivetheaffairsanctionbymakingherauntaskhimtosomethingatherhouse。Ontheotherhand,shecouldnothelpfeelingthatBessie’sflirtationwasallthemoredeplorableforthewantofsomesuchlegitimation。
  ShedidnotevenknowcertainlywhetherJeffevercalleduponBessieatheraunt’shouse,tillonedaythemanlethimoutatthesametimeheletherin。
  "Oh,comeup,Molly!"Bessiesangoutfromthefloorabove,andmetherhalf—waydownthestairs,whereshekissedherandledherembracedintothelibrary。
  "Youdon’tlikemyjay,doyou,dear?"sheasked,promptly。
  MaryEnderbyturnedherface,themirrorofconscience,uponher,andasked:"Isheyourjay?"
  "Well,no;notjustinthatsense,Molly。Butsupposehewas?"
  "ThenIshouldhavenothingtosay。"
  "Andsupposehewasn’t?"
  StillMaryEnderbyfoundherselfwithnothingofallshehadathousandtimesthoughtsheshouldsaytoBessieifshehadevertheslightestchance。Italwaysseemedsoeasy,tillnow,totakeBessieinherarms,andappealtohergoodsense,herself—respect,herregardforherfamilyandfriends;andnowitseemedsoimpossible。
  Sheheardherselfanswering,verystiffly:"PerhapsI’dbetterapologizeforwhatI’vesaidalready。YoumustthinkIwasveryunjustthelasttimewementionedhim。"
  "Notatall!"criedBessie,withalaughthatsoundedverymockingandveryunworthytoherfriend。"He’sallthatyousaid,andworse。Buthe’smorethanyousaid,andbetter。"
  "Idon’tunderstand,"saidMary,coldly。
  "He’sveryinteresting;he’soriginal;he’sdifferent!"
  "Oh,everyonesaysthat。"
  Andhedoesn’tflatterme,orpretendtothinkmuchofme。Ifhedid,I
  couldn’tbearhim。YouknowhowIam,Molly。Hekeepsmeinterested,don’tyouunderstand,andprowlingaboutinthegreatunknownwherebehashisweirdbeing。"
  Bessieputherhandtohermouth,andlaughedatMaryEnderbywithherslantedeyes;asortofParisianversionofaChinesemotiveineyes。
  "Isuppose,"herfriendsaid,sadly,"youwon’ttellmemorethanyouwish。"
  "Iwon’ttellyoumorethanIknow——thoughI’dliketo,"saidBessie。
  ShegaveMaryasuddenhug。"Youdear!Thereisn’tanythingofit,ifthat’swhatyoumean。"
  "Butisn’ttheredangerthattherewillbe,Bessie?"herfriendentreated。
  "Danger?Ishouldn’tcallitdanger,exactly!"
  "Butifyoudon’trespecthim,Bessie——"
  "Why,howcanI?Hedoesn’trespectme!"
  "Iknowyou’reteasing,now,"saidMaryEnderby,gettingup,"andyou’requiteright。Ihavenobusinessto——"
  Bessiepulledherdownupontheseatagain。"Yes,youhave!Don’tI
  tellyou,overandover?Hedoesn’trespectme,becauseIdon’tknowhowtomakehim,andhewouldn’tlikeitifIdid。ButnowI’lltrytomakeyouunderstand。Idon’tbelieveIcareforhimtheleast;butmind,I’mnotcertain,forI’venevercaredforanyone,andIdon’tknowwhatit’slike。YouknowI’mnotsentimental;Ithinksentiment’sfunny;andI’mnotdignified——"
  "You’redivine,"murmuredMaryEnderby,withreproachfuladoration。
  "Yes,butyouseehowmydivinitycouldbeimproved,"saidBessie,withawildlaugh。"I’mnotsentimental,butI’memotional,andhegivesmeemotions。He’sariddle,andI’mallthetimeguessingathim。Yougettheanswertothekindofmenweknoweasily;andit’sverynice,butitdoesn’tamuseyousomuchastrying。Now,Mr。Durgin——whataname!
  Icanseeitmakesyoucreep——isnomorelikeoneofusthana——bearis——andhisattitudetowardusisthatofabearwho’sgonesomuchwithhumanbeingsthathethinkshe’sahumanbeing。He’sdelightful,thatway。And,doyouknow,he’sintellectual!Heactuallybringsmebooks,andwantstoreadpassagestomeoutofthem!Hehasbroughtmetheplansofthenewhotelhe’sgoingtobuild。It’stobeveryaesthetic,andit’sgoingtobecalledTheLion’sHeadInn。There’stobealittletheatre,foramateurdramatics,whichIcouldconduct,andforallsortsofprofessionalamusements。Ifyoushouldevercome,Molly,I’msureweshalldoourbesttomakeyoucomfortable。"
  MaryEnderbywouldnotletBessielaughuponhershoulderaftershesaidthis。"BessieLynde,"shesaid,severely,"ifyouhavenoregardforyourself,yououghttohavesomeregardforhim。Youmaysayyouarenotencouraginghim,andyoumaybelieveit——"
  "Oh,Ishouldn’tsayitifIdidn’tbelieveit,"Bessiebrokein,withamockairofseriousness。
  "Imustbegoing,"saidMary,stiffly,andthistimeshesucceededingettingtoherfeet。
  Bessielaidholdofheragain。"Youthinkyou’vebeentrifledwith,don’tyou,dear?"
  "No——"
  "Yes,youdo!Don’tyoutrytobeslippery,Molly。Theplainpikestaffisyourstyle,morallyspeaking——ifanyoneknowswhatapikestaffis。
  Well,now,listen!You’reanxiousaboutme。"
  "YouknowhowIfeel,Bessie,"saidMaryEnderby,lookingherintheeyes。
  "Yes,Ido,"saidBessie。"Thetroubleis,Idon’tknowhowIfeel。
  ButifIeverdo,Molly,I’lltellyou!Isthatfair?"
  "Yes"
  "I’llgiveyouamplewarning。Attheleastlittleconsciousnessintheregionofthepericardium,offwillgoanotebyadistrictmessenger,andwhenyoucomeI’lldowhateveryousay。There!"
  "Oh,Bessie!"criedherfriend,andshethrewherarmsroundher,"youalwayswerethemostfascinatingcreatureintheworld!"
  "Yes,"saidBessie,"that’swhatItrytohavehimthink。"
  XLII。
  TowardtheendofAprilmostpeoplewhohadplacesattheShoreweremostlyinthem,buttheycameuptotownonfrequenterrands,andhadoneeffectofevanescencewithpeoplewhostillremainedintheirBostonhousesprovisionally,andseemedmorethanhalfabsent。TheEnderbyshadbeenattheShoreforafortnight,andtheLyndesweregoingtobeafortnightlongerinBoston,yet,asBessiemadeherfriendobserve,whenMary,raninforlunch,orstoppedforamomentonherwaytothetrain,everyfewdays,theywerebothofthesametransitoryquality。
  "ItmightaswellbeIasyou,"Bessiesaidoneday,"ifweonlythinkso。It’sallveryweird,dear,andI’mnotsurebutitisyouwhositdayafterdayatmylonelycasementandwatchthesparrowsexaminingthefuzzybudsoftheJapivytoseejusthowsoontheycanhopetobuildinthevines。Doyouobjecttotheivybudslookingsoverymuchlikesnippedwoollenrags?Ifyoudo,I’msureit’syou,hereinmyplace,forwhenIcomeuptotowninyourpersonalityitsetsmyteethonedge。
  Infact,that’stheworstthingaboutBostonnow——thefuzzyivybuds;
  there’ssomuchivy!Whenyoucanforgetthebuds,thereareagreatmanythingstomakeyouhappy。IfeelquiteasifwewerespendingthesummerintownandIfeelveryadventurousandveryvirtuous,likesomesortofself—righteousbohemian。Youdon’tknowhowIlookdownonpeoplewhohavegoneoutoftown。Iconsiderthemveryselfishandheartless;
  Idon’tknowwhy,exactly。Butwhenwehaveagoodmarrow—freezingnortheasterlystorm,andthenewspaperscomeoutwiththeirironicalcongratulationstothetax—dodgersattheShore,IfeelthatProvidenceisonmyside,andI’mgettingmyreward,eveninthisworld。"Bessiesuddenlylaughed。"Iseebyyourexpressionoffixedinattention,Molly,thatyou’rethinkingofMr。Durgin!"
  Marygaveastartofprotest,butshewastoohonesttodenythefactoutright,andBessieranon:
  "No,wedon’tsitonabenchintheCommon,orevenintheGarden,oronthewalkinCommonwealthAvenue。Ifwecometoitlater,astheseasonadvances,Ishallmakehimstayquiteattheotherendofthebench,andnotputhishandalongthetop。Youneedn’tbeafraid,Molly;alltheproprietiesshallbereligiouslyobserved。PerhapsIshallaskAuntLouisatoletussitoutonherfrontsteps,whentheeveningsgetwarmer;butIassureyouit’smuchmorecomfortablein—doorsyet,evenintown,thoughyou’llhardly,believeitattheShore。ShallyoucomeuptoClassDay?"
  "Oh,Idon’tknow,"Marybegan,withasighofthebaffledhopeandtheinextinguishableexpectationwhichthementionofClassDaystirsintheheartofeveryBostongirlpasttwenty。
  "Yes!"saidBessie,withasighburlesquedfromMary’s。"Thatiswhatweallsay,anditiscertainlythemostmaddeningofhumanfestivals。
  Isuppose,ifwewerequitelefttoourselves,weshouldn’tgo;butweseemnevertobe,quite。AftereveryClassDayIsaytomyselfthatnothingonearthcouldinducemetogotoanother;butwhenitcomesroundagain,Ifindmyselfgraspingatanystrawofapretext。I’mpretendingnowthatI’veatenderobligationtogobecauseit’shisClassDay。"
  "Bessie!"criedMaryEnderby。"Youdon’tmeanit!"
  "NotifIsayit,Marydear。WhatdidIpromiseyouaboutthepericardiacsymptoms?ButIfeel——IfeelthatifheasksmeImustgo。
  Shouldn’tyouliketogoandseeajayClassDay——bepartofit?ThinkofgoingoncetothePiUtespread——orwhateveritis!Anddancingintheirtent!AndbeingleftoutoftheGym,andBeck!Yes,Ioughttogo,sothatitcanbebroughthometome,andIcanhavearealizingsenseofwhatIamdoing,andbestayedinmymadcareer。"
  "Perhaps,"MaryEnderbysuggested,colorlessly,"hewillbedevotedtohisownpeople。"ShehadacoldfascinationinthepictureBessie’swordshadconjuredup,andshewassayingthislesstoBessiethantoherself。
  "AndIshouldmeetthem——hismothersandsisters!"Bessiedramatizedanexcessofanguish。"Oh,Mary,thatistheverythornIhavebeentryingnottopressmyheartagainst;anddoesyourhandcommendittomyembrace?Hisfolks!Yes,theywouldbefolks;andwhatfolks!IthinkIamgettingarealizingsense。Wait!Don’tspeakdon’tmove,Molly!"
  Bessiedroppedherchinintoherhand,andstaredstraightforward,grippingMaryEnderby’shand。
  Marywithdrewit。"Ishallhavetogo,Bessie,"shesaid。"Howisyouraunt?"
  "Mustyou?ThenIshallalwayssaythatitwasyourfaultthatI
  couldn’tgetarealizingsense——thatyoupreventedme,justwhenIwasabouttoseemyselfasothersseeme——asyouseeme。She’sverywell!"
  Bessiesighedinearnest,andherfriendgaveherhandalittlepressureoftruesympathy。"Butofcourseit’sratherdullhere,now。"
  "Ihatetohaveyoustayingon。Couldn’tyoucomedowntousforaweek?"
  "No。Weboththinkit’sbesttobeherewhenAlangetsback。Wewanthimtogodownwithus。"BessiehadseldomspokenopenlywithMaryEnderbyaboutherbrother;butthatwasratherfromMary’sshrinkingthanherown;sheknewthateverybodyunderstoodhiscase。Shewentsofarnowastosay:"He’seversomuchbetterthanhehasbeen。Wehavesuchhopesofhim,ifhecankeepwell,whenhegetsbackthistime。"
  "Oh,Iknowhewill,"saidMary,fervently。"I’msureofit。Couldn’twedosomethingforyou,Bessie?"
  "No,thereisn’tanything。But——thankyou。Iknowyoualwaysthinkofme,andthat’sworlds。Whenareyoucomingupagain?"
  "Idon’tknow。Nextweek,sometime。"
  "Comeinandseeme——andAlan,ifheshouldbeathome。Helikesyou,andhewillbesoglad。"
  MarykissedBessieforconsent。"YouknowhowmuchIadmireAlan。Hecouldbeanything。"
  "Yes,hecould。Ifhecould!"
  Bessieseldomputsomuchearnestinanything,andMaryloved(asshewouldhavesaid)thesadsincerity,thehonesthopelessnessofhertone。
  "Wemusthelphim。Iknowwecan。"
  "Wemusttry。Butpeoplewhocould——iftheycould——"Bessiestopped。
  Herfrienddivinedthatshewasnolongerspeakingwhollyofherbrother,butshesaid:"Thereisn’tanyifaboutit;andtherearenoifsaboutanythingifweonlythinkso。It’sasinnottothinkso。"
  ThemixtureofseverityandofoptimisminthenatureofherfriendhadoftenamusedBessie,anditdidnotescapehertacitnoticeinevensoseriousamomentasthis。Hertheorywasthatshewasshockedtorecognizeitnow,becauseofitsrelationtoherbrother,buthertheoriesdidnotalwaysagreewiththefacts。
  Thatevening,however,shewastrulysurprisedwhen,afteraratherbelatedringatthedoor,thecardofMr。ThomasJeffersonDurgincameuptoherfromthereception—room。Heraunthadgonetobed,andshehadaluxuriousmomentinwhichshereapedalltherewardofself—denialbysupposingherselftohaveforegonethepleasureofseeinghim,andsendingdownwordthatshewasnotathome。Shedidnotwish,indeed,toseehim,butshewishedtoknowhowhefeltwarrantedincallingintheevening,anditwasthisunworthy,curiositywhichshestifledforthatluxuriousmoment。Thenext,withundiminisheddignity,shesaid,"Askhimtocomeup,Andrew,"andshewaitedinthelibraryforhimtoofferajustificationofthelibertyhehadtaken。
  Heofferednonewhatever,butbehavedatonceasifhehadalwayshadthehabitofcallingintheevening,orasifitwasageneralcustomwhichheneednotaccountforinhisowncase。Hebroughtherabookwhichtheyhadtalkedofattheirlastmeeting,buthemadenoexcuseorpretextofit。
  Hesaiditwasabeautifulnight,andthathehadfounditratherwarmwalkinginfromCambridge。Theexercisehadmoistenedhiswholerich,redcolor,andfinedropsofperspirationstoodonhisclean—shavenupperlipandinthehollowbetweenhisunderlipandhisboldchin;hepushedbackthecoarse,dark—yellowhairfromhisforeheadwithhishandkerchief,andlethiseyesmockherfromunderhisthick,straw—
  coloredeyebrows。Sheknewthathewasenjoyinghisownimpudence,andhewassohandsomethatshecouldnotrefusetoenjoyitwithhim。Sheaskedhimifhewouldnothaveafan,andheallowedhertogetitforhimfromthemantel。"Willyouhavesometea?"
  "No;butaglassofwater,ifyouplease,"hesaid,andBessierangandsentforsomeapollinaris,whichJeffdrankagreatgobletofwhenitcame。Thenhelaybackinthedeepchairhehadtaken,withtheairofbeingreadyforanylittleamusingthingshehadtosay。
  "Areyoustillapessimist,Mr。Durgin?"sheasked,tentatively,withtheeffectofinnocencethatheknewmeantmischief。
  "No,"hesaid。"I’mareformedoptimist。"
  "Whatisthat?"
  "It’samanwhocan’tbelieveallthegoodhewouldlike,butlikestobelieveallthegoodhecan。"
  Bessiesaiditover,withburlesquethoughtfulness。"Therewasagirlhereto—day,"shesaid,solemnly,"whomusthavebeenareformedpessimist,then,forshesaidthesamething。"
  "Oh!MissEnderby,"saidJeff。
  Bessiestarted。"You’repreternatural!Butwhatapityyoushouldbemistaken。Howcameyoutothinkofher?"
  "Shedoesn’tlikeme,andyoualwaysputmeontrialaftershe’sbeenhere。"
  "AmIputtingyouontrialnow?It’syourguiltyconscience!Whyshouldn’tMaryEnderbylikeyou?"
  "BecauseI’mnotgoodenough。"
  "Oh!Andwhathasthattodowithpeople’slikingyou?Ifthatwasareason,howmanyfriendsdoyouthinkyouwouldhave?"
  "I’mnotsurethatIshouldhaveany。"
  "Anddoesn’tthatmakeyoufeelbadly?"
  "Very。"Jeff’sconfessionwasasmilingone。
  "Youdon’tshowit!"
  "Idon’twanttogrieveyou。"
  "Oh,I’mnotsurethatwouldgrieveme。"
  "Well,IthoughtIwouldn’triskit。"
  "Howconsiderateofyou!"
  Theyhadcometoalittlebarrier,upthatway,andcouldgonofurther。
  Jeffsaid:"I’vejustbeeninterviewinganotherreformedpessimist。"
  "Mr。Westover?"
  "You’repreternatural,too。Andyou’renotmistaken,either。Doyouevergotohisstudio?"
  "No;Ihaven’tbeentheresincehetoldmeitwouldbeofnousetocomeasastudent。Hecanbeterriblyfrank。"
  "NobodyknowsthatbetterthanIdo,"saidJeff,withasmileforthenotionofWestover’sfranknessashehadrepeatedlyexperiencedit。"Buthemeanswell。"
  "Oh,that’swhattheyalwayssay。Butallthefranknesscan’tbewellmeant。Whyshoulduncandorbetheonlyformofmalevolence?"
  "That’sagoodidea。IbelieveI’llputthatuponWestoverthenexttimehe’sfrank。"
  "Andwillyoutellmewhathesays?"
  "Oh,Idon’tknowaboutthat。"Jefflaybackinhischairatlargeeaseandchuckled。"Ishouldliketotellyouwhathe’sjustbeensayingtome,butIdon’tbelieveIcan。"
  "Do!"