"Yes,"saidWestover,"butthewrongthingsdon’thappenfrompeoplewhoareinthehabitofmeaningtherightones。"
"Ibelievetheydo,fullyhalfthetime,"Jeffreturned;"and,asfarasthegrandresultisconcerned,youmightaswellthinkthemandintendthemasnot。Idon’tmeanthatyououghttodoit;that’sanotherthing,andifIhadtriedtogetLyndedrunk,andthengonetodancewithhissister,IshouldhavebeenwhatyousayIam。ButIsawhimgettingworsewithoutmeaningtomakehimso;andIwentbacktoherbecause——I
wantedto。"
"Andyouthink,Isuppose,"saidWestover,"thatshewouldn’thavecaredanymorethanyoucaredifshehadknownwhatyoudid。"
"Ican’tsayanythingaboutthat。"
Thepaintercontinued,bitterly:"Youusedtocomeinhere,thefirstyear,withnotionsofsocietywomenthatwouldhavedisgracedaGoth,oragorilla。DidyouformyourestimateofMissLyndefromthosepremises?"
"I’mnotaboynow,"Jeffanswered,"andIhaven’tstayedallthekindsofafoolIwas。"
"Thenyoudon’tthinkMissLyndewouldspeaktoyou,orlookatyou,aftersheknewwhatyouhaddone?"
"Ishouldliketotellherandsee,"saidJeff,withahardylaugh。
"ButIguessIsha’n’thavethechance。I’veneverbeenafavoriteinsociety,andIdon’texpecttomeetheragain。"
"Perhapsyou’dliketohavemetellher?"
"Why,yes,IbelieveIshould,ifyoucouldtellmewhatshethought——notwhatshesaidaboutit。"
"Youareabrute,"answeredWestover,withapuzzledair。Whatpuzzledhimmostandpleasedhimleastwasthefellow’spatienceunderhisseverity,whichheseemedeithernottofeelornottomind。ItwasofapiecewiththebehavioroftherascallyboywhomhehadcuffedforfrighteningCynthiaandherlittlebrotherlongago,andhewonderedwhatfinalmalevolenceitportended。
Jeffsaid,asiftheircontroversywereatanendandtheymightnowturntomorepersonalthings:"Youlookprettyslim,Mr。Westover。A’n’ttheresomethingIcandoforyou—getyou?I’vecomeinwithamessagefrommother。ShesaysifyoueverwanttogetthatwinterviewofLion’sHead,now’syourtime。Shewantsyoutocomeupthere;sheandCynthiabothdo。Theycanmakeyouascomfortableasyouplease,andthey’dliketohaveavisitfromyou。Can’tyougo?"
Westovershookhisheadruefully。"It’sgoodofthem,andIwantyoutothankthemforme。ButIdon’tknowwhenI’mgoingtogetoutagain。"
"Oh,you’llsoongetout,"saidJeff。"I’mgoingtolookafteryoualittle,"andthistimeWestoverwastooweaktoprotest。HedidnotforbidJeff’stakingoffhisovercoat;hesufferedhimtolighthisspirit—lampandmakeapunchofthewhiskeywhichheownedthedoctorwasgivinghim;andwhenJeffhandedhimthesteamingglass,andaskedhim,"How’sthat?"heanswered,withapleasureinitwhichheknewtobedeplorable,"It’sfine。"
Jeffstayedthewholeeveningwithhim,andmadehimmorecomfortablethanhehadbeensincehiscoldbegan。Westovernowtalkedseriouslyandfranklywithhim,butnolongersoharshly,andinhisrelentinghefeltareturnofhisoldillogicallikingforhim。HefanciedinDurgin’skindnesstohimselfanindirectregret,andadesiretoatoneforwhathehaddone,andhesaid:"Theeffectisinyou——theworsteffect。Idon’tthinkeitheroftheyoungLyndesveryexemplarypeople。Butyou’dbedoingyourselfagreaterwrongthanyou’vedonethenifyoudidn’trecognizethatyouhadbeenguiltytowardthem。"
Jeffseemedstruckbythisnotion。"Whatdoyouwantmetodo?WhatcanIdo?Chasemyselfoutofsociety?Somethinglikethat?I’mwilling。
It’stooeasy,though。AsIsaid,I’veneverbeenwantedmuch,there,andIshouldn’tbemissed。"
"Well,then,howwouldyouliketoleaveittothepeopleatLion’sHeadtosaywhatyoushoulddo?"Westoversuggested。
Ishouldn’tlikeit,"saidJeff,promptly。"They’djudgeitasyoudo——asifthey’ddoneitthemselves。That’sthereasonwomenarenotfittojudge。"Hisgayfacedarkened。"Buttell’emifyouwantto。"
"Bah!"criedthepainter。"WhyshouldIwanttoI’mnotawomanineverything。"
"Ibegyourpardon,Mr。Westover。Ididn’tmeanthat。Ionlymeantthatyou’reanidealist。Ilookatthisthingasifsomeoneelsehaddoneit;Ibelievethat’sthepracticalway;andIshouldn’tgoinforpunishinganyoneelseforsuchathingveryseverely。"Hemadeanotherpunch——forhimselfthistime,hesaid;butWestoverjoinedhiminaglassofit。
"Itwon’tdototakethatviewofyourfaults,Jeff,"hesaid,gravely。
"What’sthereason?"Jeffdemanded;andnoweitherthepunchhadbeguntoworkinWestover’sbrain,orsomeotherinfluenceoflikeforceandquality。Heperceivedthatinthisearth—boundtemperamentwasthepotentialityofallthesuccessitaimedat。Theacceptanceofthemoralfactasitwas,withouttheunconsciousefforttobetterit,ortoholdhimselfstrictlytoaccountforit,wasthesecretofthepowerinthemanwhichwouldbringaboutthematerialresultshedesired;andthissimplicityofthemotiveinvolvedhaditscharm。
WestoverwasawareoflikingDurginatthatmomentmuchmorethanheought,andoflikinghimhelplessly。Inthelightofhisgood—naturedselfishness,theinjurytotheLyndesshowedmuchlessasacrilegethanithadseemed;WestoverbegantoseeitwithJeff’seyes,andtoseeitwithreferencetowhatmightbelowandmeaninthem,insteadofwhatmightbefineandhigh。
HewassensibleofthegrowthJeffhadmadeintellectually。HehadnotbeenatHarvardnearlyfouryearsfornothing。Hehadphrasesandcouldhandlethem。Inwhateverobscureorperversefashion,hehadprofitedbyhisopportunities。Thefellowwhocouldaccusehimofbeinganidealist,andcouldinsomesortproveit,wasnolongeranaughtyboytobetutoredandpunished。Therevoltlatentinhimwouldbeviolentinproportiontothepressureputuponhim,andWestoverbegantobewithoutthewishtopresshisfaulthometohimsostrongly。Intheoptimismgeneratedbythepunch,hefeltthathemightleavethecasetoJeffhimself;orelseinthecomfortweallexperienceinsinkingtoalowerlevel,hewasunwillingtomaketheefforttokeephisownmoralelevation。Buthedidmakeanefforttosavehimselfbysaying:"Youcan’tgetwhatyou’vedonebeforeyourselfasyoucantheactionofsomeoneelse。It’spartofyou,andyouhavetojudgethemotiveaswellastheeffect。"
"Well,that’swhatI’mdoing,"saidJeff;"butitseemstomethatyou’retryingtohavemejudgeoftheeffectfromamotiveIdidn’thave。AsfarasIcanmakeout,Ihadn’tanymotiveatall。"
Helaughed,andallthatWestovercouldsaywas,"Thenyou’restillresponsiblefortheresult。"Butthisnolongerappearedsotruetohim。
XXXVIII。
ItwasnotaconditionofWestover’swelcomeatLion’sHeadthatheshouldseempeculiarlythefriendofJeffDurgin,buthecouldnothelpmakingitso,andhebegantooveractthepartassoonashemetJeff’smother。HehadtospeakofhiminthankingherforrememberinghiswishtopaintLion’sHeadinthewinter,andhehadtotellherofJeff’sthoughtfulnessduringthepastfortnight;hehadtosaythathedidnotbelieveheshouldeverhavegotawayifithadnotbeenforhim。Thiswastrue;DurginhadevencomeinfromCambridgetoseehimoffonthetrain;hebehavedasiftheincidentwithLyndeandalltheirtalkaboutithadcementedthefriendshipbetweenWestoverandhimself,andhecouldnotbetoodevoted。ItnowcameoutthathehadwrittenhomeallaboutWestover,andmadehismotherputupastoveinthepainter’soldroom,sothatheshouldhavetheinstantuseofitwhenhearrived。
Itwasanair—tightwood—stove,anditfilledthechamberwithaheatinwhichWestoverdrowsedassoonasheenteredit。Hethrewhimselfonthebed,andsleptawaythefatigueofhisrailroadjourneyandthecoldofhisdrivewithJombateestefromthestation。Hisnapwaslong,andhewokefromitinapleasantlanguor,withthedream—cloudsstillhanginginhisbrain。Heopenedthedamperofhisstove,andsetitroaringagain;thenhepulleddowntheuppersashofhiswindowandlookedoutonaworldwhoseelementsofwoodandsnowandstonehetriedtoco—
ordinate。Therewasnothingelseinthatworldbutthesethings,sorepellentofoneanother。Hesufferedfromtheincongruityofthewoodenbulkofthehotel,withthewhitedriftsdeepaboutit,andwiththegranitecliffsofLion’sHeadbeforeit,wherethegraycragsdarkenedunderthepinkafternoonlightwhichwasbeginningtoplayuponitscrestfromtheearlysunset。Thewindthathadseemedtoborethroughhisthickcapandhisskullitself,andthathadtossedthedrysnowlikedustagainsthiseyesonhiswayfromtherailroad,hadnowfallen,andanincomparablequietwrappedthesolitudeofthehills。A
teasingsenseoftheimpossibilityofthescene,asfarashisartwasconcerned,filledhimfullofafonddespairofrenderingitsfeeling。
Hecouldgiveitslightandcolorandforminasufficientlyvividsuggestionofthefact,buthecouldnotmakethatpinkflushseemtoexhale,likealongbreath,uponthoseruggedshapes;hecouldnotimpartthatsentimentofdelicately,almostofelegance,whichhefoundinthewilderness,whileeverydetailofcivilizationphysicallydistressedhim。
Inoneplacethesnowhadbeendugdowntothepineplankingofthepathwayroundthehouse;andthecontactofthiswoodennesswiththefrozengroundpiercedhisnervesandsethisteethonedgelikeaharshnoise。Whenoncehesawithehadtomakeanefforttotakehiseyesfromit,andinasortunknowntohiminsummerheperceivedtheoffenceofthehotelitselfamidthepureandlonelybeautyofthewinterlandscape。Itwasanoteofintolerablebanality,ofphilistinepretenceandvulgarconvention,suchasWhitwell’slow,unpaintedcottageatthefootofthehilldidnotgive,northelittleredschool—house,ontheotherhand,showingthroughthenakedtrees。Thereshouldhavebeenreallynohumanhabitationvisibleexceptawigwamintheshelterofthepines,hereandthere;andwhenhesawWhitwellmakinghiswayupthehill—sideroad,Westoverfeltthatiftheremustbeanyhumanpresenceitshouldbesomesavagecladinskins,insteadofthephilosopherinhisrubberbootsandhisclothing—storeulster。Hepreferredthesmall,wiryshapeofJombateeste,inhisbluewoollencapandhisCanadianfootgear,asheranroundthecornerofthehousetowardthebarn,andleftthebreathofhispipeinthefineairbehindhim。
Thelightbegantodeepenfromthepalepinktoacrimsonwhichstainedthetopsandsteepsofsnow,anddeepenedthedarkofthewoodsmassedonthemountainslopesbetweentheirregularfieldsofwhite。Theburnishedbrownofthehard—woodtrees,thedullcarbonshadowsoftheevergreens,seemedtowithertooneblackastheredstrengthenedinthesky。
Westoverrealizedthathehadlostthebestofanypossiblepictureinlettingthatfirstdelicatecolorescapehim。Thiscrimsonwasharshandvulgarincomparison;itwouldhavealmostachromoquality;hecensuredhispleasureinitassomethinggrossandmaterial,likethatofeating;
andonasuddenhefelthungry。Hewonderedwhattimetheywouldgivehimsupper,andhetookslightaccountofthefactthatacapriceofthewindhadtornitshoodofsnowfromthemountainsummit,andthattheprofileoftheLion’sHeadshowedalmostasdistinctlyasinsummer。Hestoodbeforethepicturewhichforthatdayatleastwaslosttohim,andquestionedwhethertherewouldbeaheartymeal,somethinglikeadinner,orwhethertherewouldbesomethinglikeafarmhousesupper,mainlyofdoughnutsandtea。
Hepulleduphiswindowandwasgoingtoliedownagain,whensomeoneknocked,andFrankWhitwellstoodatthedoor。"Doyouwantweshouldbringyoursuppertoyouhere,Mr。Westover,orwillyou——"
"Oh,letmejoinyouall!"criedthepainter,eagerly。"Isitready——
shallIcomenow?"
"Well,inaboutfiveminutesorso。"Frankwentaway,aftersettingdownintheroomthelamphehadbrought。ItwasalampwhichWestoverthoughtherememberedfromthefarm—houseperiod,andonhiswaydownherealizedashehadsomehownotdoneinhissummersojourns,theentiretyoftheoldhouseinthehotelwhichhadencompassedit。Theprimitivecoldofitsstairwaysandpassagesstruckuponhimassoonashelefthisownroom,andhefoundtheparlordoorclosedagainstthechill。Therewasahotstove—firewithin,andakerosene—lampturnedlow,buttherewasnoonethere,andhehadthephotographofhisfirstpictureofLion’sHeadtohimselfinthedimlight。ThevoicesofMrs。DurginandCynthiacametohimfromthedining—room,andfromthekitchenbeyond,withtheoccasionalclashofcrockery,andtheclangofironuponironaboutthestove,andthequicktreadofwomen’sfeetuponthebarefloor。
Withthesepleasantnoisescamethesmellofcooking,andlatertherewasanopeningandshuttingofdoors,withathrillofthefreezingairfromwithout,andthedullthumpingofWhitwell’srubberboots,andthequickerflappingofJombateeste’ssoftleathernsoles。Thentherewasthesweepofskirtedfeetattheparlordoor,andCynthiaWhitwellcameinwithoutperceivinghim。Shewenttothetablebythedarkeningwindow,andquicklyturnedupthelightofthelamp。Inherignoranceofhispresence,hesawherasifshehadbeenalone,almostasifshewereoutofthebody;hereceivedfromherunconsciousnesstheimpressionofsomethingrarelypureandfine,andhehadasuddencompassionforher,asforsomethingpreciousthatisfatedtobewastedormisprized。Atalittlemovementwhichhemadetorelievehimselffromasenseofeavesdropping,shegaveastart,andshutherlipsuponthelittlecrythatwouldhaveescapedfromanothersortofwoman。
"Ididn’tknowyouwerehere,"shesaid;andsheflushedwiththeshynessofhimwhichshealwaysshowedatfirst。Shehadmethimalreadywiththerest,buttheyhadscarcelyspokentogether;andheknewofthestruggleshemustnowbemakingwithherselfwhenshewenton:"Ididn’tknowyouhadbeencalled。Ithoughtyouwerestillsleeping。"
"Yes。Iseemedtosleepforcenturies,"saidWestover,"andIwokeupfeelingcoevalwithLion’sHead。ButIhopetogrowyoungeragain。"
Shefaltered,andthensheasked:"Didyouseethelightonitwhenthesunwentdown?"
"IwishIhadn’t。Icouldnevergetthatlight——evenifitevercameagain。"
"It’sthereeveryafternoon,whenit’sclear。"
"I’msorryforthat;Ishallhavetotryforit,then。"
"Wasn’tthatwhatyoucamefor?"sheasked,byoneoftheeffortsshewasmakingwitheverythingshesaid。Hecouldhavebelievedhesawthepulsethrobbinginherneck。Butsheheldherselfstone—still,andhedivinedherresolutiontoconquerherself,ifsheshoulddieforit。
"Yes,Icameforthat,"saidWestover。"That’swhatmakesitsodismaying。IfIhadonlyhappenedonit,Ishouldn’thavebeenresponsibleforthefailureIshallmakeofit。"
Shesmiled,asifshelikedhislightness,butdoubtedifsheought。
"Wedon’toftengetLion’sHeadclearofsnow。"
"Yes;that’sanotherhardship,"saidthepainter。"Everythingisagainstme!Ifwedon’thaveasnowovernight,andacloudydayto—morrow,I
shallbeindespair。"
Sheplayedwiththelittlewheelofthewick;shelookeddown,andthen,withaglanceflashedathim,shegasped:"Ishallhavetotakeyourlampforthetableteaisready。"
"Oh,well,ifyouwillonlytakemewithit。I’mfrightfullyhungry。"
Apparentlyshecouldnotsayanythingtothat。Hetriedtogetthelamptocarryitoutforher,butshewouldnotlethim。"Itisn’theavy,"
shesaid,andhurriedoutbeforehim。
Itwasallnothing,butitwasallverycharming,andWestoverwasrichlycontentwithit;andyetnotcontent,forhefeltthatthepleasureofitwasnottrulyhis,butwasamomentofmerelyborrowedhappiness。
Thetablewaslaidintheoldfarm—housesitting—roomwherehehadbeenservedalonewhenhefirstcametoLion’sHead。Butnowhesatdownwiththewholefamily,eventoJombateeste,whobroughtinafaintodorofthebarnwithhim。
Theyhadeachbeenincontactwiththefinerworldwhichrevisitsnatureinthesummer—time,andtheymustallhaveknownsomethingofitsusages,buttheyhadrevertedinformandsubstancetotherusticlivingoftheirneighbors。TheyhadsteakforWestover,andbakedpotatoes;butforthemselvestheyhadsuchfarmfareasMrs。Durginhadgivenhimthefirsttimehesuppedthere。Theymadetheirmealchieflyofdoughnutsandtea,andhotbiscuit,withsomesweetdishesofafestivesortaddedinrecognitionofhispresence;andtherewasmince—pieforall。Mrs。
DurginandWhitwellatewiththeirknives,andJombateestefilledhimselfsosoonwitheveryimplementathandthathewasabletoaskexcuseoftheothersifheleftthemforthehorsesbeforetheyhadhalffinished。
FrankWhitwellfedwithakindofofficialorfunctionalconformitytothewaysofsummerfolks;butCynthia,atwhomWestoverglancedwithanxiety,onlydranksometeaandatealittlebreadandbutter。Hewasashamedofhisanxiety,forhehadownedthatitoughtnottohavematteredifshehadusedherknifelikeherfather;anditseemedtohimasifhehadpromptedMrs。Durginbyhiscuriousglancetosay:"Wedon’tknowhalfthetimehowthechildlives。Cynthy!Takesomethingtoeat!"
Cynthiapleadedthatshewasnothungry;Mrs。Durgindeclaredthatshewoulddieifshekeptonasshewasgoing;andthenthegirlescapedtothekitchenononeoftheerrandswhichshemadefromtimetotimebetweenthestoveandthetable。
"Ipresumeit’syourcoming,Mr。Westover,"Mrs。Durginwenton,withthecomfortablesuperiorityofelderlypeopletoallthetrialsoftheyoung。
"Idon’tknowwhysheshouldmakeastrangerofyou,everytime。You’veknownherprettymuchallherlife。"
"EversinceyougiveJeffwhathedeservedforscaringherandFrankwithhisdog,"saidWhitwell。
"PoorFox!"Mrs。Durginsighed。"HedidhavetheleastsenseforadogI
eversaw。AndJeffusedtobesofondofhim!Well,Iguesshegottiredofhim,too,towardthelast。"
"He’sgonetothehappyhunting—groundsnow。Coloradydidn’tagreewithhim—oroldage,"saidWhitwell。"Idon’tseewhytheInjunswa’n’tright,"hepursued,thoughtfully。"Ifthey’vegotsouls,whyha’n’ttheirdogs?IsupposeMr。Westoverherewouldsaytherewa’n’tanycertaintyabouttheInjunsthemselves!"
"Youknowmyweakpoint,Mr。Whitwell,"thepainterconfessed。"ButI
can’tprovetheyhaven’t。"
"Nordogs,neither,Iguess,"saidWhitwell,tolerantly。"It’scurious,though,ifanimalshavegotsouls,thatweha’n’teverhadanycommunicationsfrom’em。Youmightsaythatag’in’theidea。"
"No,I’llletyousayit,"returnedWestover。"Butagoodmanyofthecommunicationsseemtocomefromthelowerintelligences,ifnottheloweranimals。"
Whitwelllaughedouthisdelightinthethrust。"Well,Iguessthat’ssomethingso。AndthemoldEgyptiandevils,overthere,thatyousaydiscoveredthedoctrineofimmortality,seemedtothinkacatwasaboutasgoodasaman。What’sthat,"heappealedtoMrs。Durgin,"Jacksonsaidinhislastletterabouttheircatmummies?"
"Well,IguessI’llfinishmysupperfirst,"saidMrs。Durgin,whosenervesWestoverwouldnototherwisehavesuspectedoffaintness。"ButJackson’sletters,"shecontinued,loyally,"areaboutthebestletters!"
"Knowthey’dgotsomeof’eminthepapers?"Whitwellasked;andatthesurprisethatWestovershowedhetoldhimhowafellowwhowastryingtomakeapapergooverattheHuddle,hadheardofJackson’slettersandteasedforsomeofthem,andhadprintedthemasneighborhoodnewsinthatsideofhispaperwhichhedidnotbuyreadyprintedinBoston。
Mrs。DurginstudiedwithmodestdeprecationtheeffectofthefactuponWestover,andseemedsatisfiedwithit。"Well,ofcourse,it’sinterestin’toJackson’soldfriendsinthecountry,here。Theyknowhe’dlookatthings,overthere,prettymuchastheywould。Well,Ihadtolendthelettersroundsomuch,anyway,itwasakindofarelieftohave’eminthepaper,whereeverybodycouldsee’em,andbedonewithit。Mr。Whit’ellhere,hefixes’emupso’stoleaveoutthefamilypart,andIguessthey’reprettywellthoughtof。"
Westoversaidhehadnodoubttheywere,andheshouldwanttoseealltheletterstheycouldshowhim,inprintandoutofprint。
"IfJacksononlyhadJeff’shealthandopportunities——"themotherbegan,withasuppressedpassioninherregret。
FrankWhitwellpushedbackhischair。"IguessI’llasktobeexcused,"
hesaidtotheheadoftable。
"There!Ia’n’tgoin’tosayanymoreaboutthat,ifthat’swhatyou’reafraidof,Frank,"saidMrs。Durgin。"Well,IpresumeIdotalkagooddealaboutJacksonwhenIgetgoin’,andIpresumeit’snaturalCynthyshouldn’twantIshouldtalkaboutJeffbeforefolks。Frank,a’n’tyougoin’towaitforthatplateofhotbiscuit?——ifsheevergitsithere!"
"IguessIdon’tcareforanythingmore,"saidFrank,andhegothimselfoutoftheroommoreinarticulatelythanheneed,Westoverthought。
His,fatherfollowedhisretreatwithaneyeofhumorousintelligence。
"IguessFrankdon’twanttokeeptheyoungladieswaitin’agreatwhile。
There’sachurchsociableover’ttheHuddle,"heexplainedtoWestover。
"Oh,that’sit,isit?"Mrs。Durginputin。"Whydidn’thesayso。"
"Well,theyoungfolksdon’tanyof’emseemtowanttotalkaboutsuchthingsnowadays,andIdon’tknowastheyeverdid。"WhitwelltookWestoverintohisconfidencewithawink。
ThebiscuitthatCynthiabroughtinwereburnedalittleontop,andMrs。
Durginrecognizedthefactwiththequestion,"Didyougettostudyin’,outthere?Takeone,do,Mr。Westover!Youha’n’tmadehalfameal!
IfIdidn’tkeeproundafterher,Idon’tknowwhatwouldbecomeofusall。TheyoungladiesdownatBoston,anyof’em,trytokeepupwiththefellowsincollege?"
"IsupposetheydointheHarvardAnnex,"saidWestover,simply,inspiteoftheglancewithwhichMrs。Durgintriedtoconveyacovertmeaning。
Heunderstooditafterward,butforthepresenthissingle—mindednesssparedthegirl。