WiththelastweekofthetermtheOldBoysbegattoarrive，andtheirwelcomewasnicelyproportionedtotheirworth。GentlemencadetsfromSandhurstandWoolwich，whohadonlyleftayearago，butwhocarriedenormousside，weregreetedwithacheerful"Hullo！What’stheShoplike？"fromthosewhohadsharedtheirstudies。
　　Militiasubalternshadmoreconsideration，butitwasunderstoodtheywerenotpreciselyofthetruemetal。Recreantswho，failingfortheArmy，hadgoneintobusinessorbankswerereceivedforoldsake’ssake，butinnowaymadetoomuchof。
　　Butwhentherealsubalterns，officersandgentlemenfull—blown——whohadbeentotheendsoftheearthandbackagainandsocarriednoside——cameonthescenestrollingaboutwiththeHead，theschooldividedrightandleftinadmiringsilence。AndwhenonelaidhandsonFlint，evenupontheHeadoftheGamescrying，"GoodHeavens！Whatdoyoumeanbygrowinginthisway？YouwereabeastlylittlefagwhenIleft，"
　　visiblehaloesencircledFlint。Theywouldwalktoandfrointhecorridorwiththelittleredschool—sergeant，tellingnewsofoldregiments；theywouldburstintoform—roomssniffingthewell—rememberedsmellsofinkandwhitewash；theywouldfindnephewsandcousinsinthelowerformsandpresentthemwithenormouswealth；ortheywouldinvadethegymnasiumandmakeFoxyshowoffthenewstockonthebars。
　　Chiefly，though，theytalkedwiththeHead，whowasfather—confessorandagent—generaltothemall；forwhattheyshoutedintheirunthinkingyouth，theyprovedintheirthoughtlessmanhood——towit，thattheProoshanBateswas"adownybird。"Youngbloodwhohadstumbledintoanentanglementwithapastry—cook’sdaughteratPlymouth；experiencewhohadcomeintoasmalllegacybutmistrustedlawyers；ambitionhaltingatcross—roads，anxioustotaketheonethatwouldleadhimfarthest；extravagancepursuedbythemoney—lender；arroganceinthethickofaregimentalrow——eachcarriedhistroubletotheHead；andChironshowedhim，inlanguagequiteunfitforlittleboys，aquietandsafewayround，out，orunder。Sotheyoverflowedhishouse，smokedhiscigars，anddrankhishealthastheyhaddrunkitalltheearthoverwhentwoorthreeoftheoldschoolhadforegathered。
　　"Don’tstopsmokingforaminute，"saidtheHead。"Themoreyou’reoutoftrainingthebetterforus。I’vedemoralizedtheFirstFifteenwithextra—tu。"
　　"Ah，butwe’reascratchlot。Haveyoutold’emweshallneedasubstituteevenifCrandallcanplay？"saidaLieutenantofEngineerswithaD。S。O。tohiscredit。
　　"Hewrotemehe’dplay，sohecan’thavebeenmuchhurt。He’scomingdownto—morrowmorning。"
　　"Crandallminorthatwas，andbroughtoffpoorDuncan’sbody？"TheHeadnodded。
　　"Whereareyougoingtoputhim？We’veturnedyououtofhouseandhomealready，HeadSahib。"ThiswasaSquadronCommanderofBengalLancers，homeonleave。
　　"I’mafraidhe’llhavetogouptohisolddormitory。Youknowoldboyscanclaimthatprivilege。Yes，IthinklittleCrandallminormustbeddownthereoncemore。"
　　"BatesSahib"——aGunnerflungaheavyarmroundtheHead’sneck——"you’vegotsomethingupyoursleeve。Confess！Iknowthattwinkle。"
　　"Can’tyousee，youcuckoo？"aSubmarineMinerinterrupted。"Crandallgoesuptothedormitoryasanobject—lesson，formoraleffectandsoforth。Isn’tthattrue，HeadSahib？"
　　"Itis。Youknowtoomuch，Purvis。Ilickedyouforthatin’79。"
　　"Youdid，sir，andit’smyprivatebeliefyouchalkedthecane。"
　　"N—no。ButI’veaverystraighteye。Perhapsthatmisledyou。"
　　Thatopenedtheflood—gatesoffreshmemories，andtheyalltoldtalesoutofschool。
　　WhenCrandallminorthatwas——LieutenantR。CrandallofanordinaryIndianregiment——arrivedfromExeteronthemorningofthematch，hewascheeredalongthewholefrontoftheCollege，fortheprefectshadrepeatedthesenseofthatwhichtheHeadhadreadtheminFlint’sstudy。WhenProut’shouseunderstoodthathewouldclaimhisOldBoy’srighttoabedforonenight，BeetleranintoKing’shousenextdoorandexecutedapublic"gloat"upanddowntheenemy’sbigform—room，departinginahazeofink—pots。
　　"Whatd’youtakeanynoticeofthoserottersfor？"saidStalky，playingsubstitutefortheOldBoys，magnificentinblackjersey，whiteknickers，andblackstockings。
　　"Italkedto_him_upinthedormitorywhenhewaschangin’。Pulledhissweaterdownforhim。He’scutaboutalloverthearms——horridpurplyones。He’sgoin’totellusaboutitto—night。IaskedhimtowhenIwaslacin’hisboots。"
　　"Well，you_have_gotcheek，"saidBeetle，enviously。
　　"SlippedoutbeforeIthought。Buthewasn’tabitangry。He’snoendofachap。I
　　swear，I’mgoin’toplayuplikebeans。TellTurkey！"
　　Thetechniqueofthatmatchbelongstoabygoneage。Scrimmagesweretightandenduring；hackingwasdirectandtothepurpose；andaroundthescrimmagestoodtheschool，crying，"Putdownyourheadsandshove！"Towardtheendeverybodylostallsenseofdecency，andmothersofday—boystooclosetothetouch—lineheardlanguagenotincludedinthebills。Noonewasactuallycarriedoffthefield，butbothsidesfelthappierwhentimewascalled，andBeetlehelpedStalkyandMcTurkintotheirovercoats。Thetwohadmetinthemany—leggedheartofthings，and，asStalkysaid，had"doneeachotherproud。"Astheyswaggeredwoodenlybehindtheteams——
　　substitutesdonotrankasequalsofhairymen——theypassedapony—carriagenearthewall，andahuskyvoicecried，"Wellplayed。Oh，playedindeed！"ItwasStettsonmajor，white—checkedandhollow—eyed，whohadfoughthiswaytothegroundunderescortofanimpatientcoachman。
　　"Hullo，Stettson，"saidStalky，checking。"Isitsafetocomenearyouyet？"
　　"Oh，yes。I’mallright。Theywouldn’tletmeoutbefore，butIhadtocometothematch。Yourmouthlooksprettyplummy。"
　　"Turkeytrodonitaccidental—done—a—purpose。Well，I’mgladyou’rebetter，becauseweoweyousomething。Youandyourmembranesgotusintoasweetmess，youngman。"
　　"Iheardofthat，"saidtheboy，giggling。"TheHeadtoldme。"
　　"Doocehedid！When？"
　　"Oh，comeonuptoColl。Myshin’llstiffenifwestayjawin’here。"
　　"Shutup，Turkey。Iwanttofindoutaboutthis。Well？"
　　"Hewasstayin’atourhouseallthetimeIwasill。"
　　"Whatfor？Neglectin’theColl。thatway？’Thoughthewasintown。"
　　"Iwasoffmyhead，youknow，andtheysaidIkeptoncallin’forhim。"
　　"Cheek！You’reonlyaday—boy。"
　　"Hecamejustthesame，andheaboutsavedmylife。Iwasallbungeduponenight——justgoin’tocroak，thedoctorsaid——andtheystuckatubeorsomethin’inmythroat，andtheHeadsuckedoutthestuff。"
　　"Ugh！’Shotif_I_would！"
　　"Heoughttohavegotdiphtheriahimself，thedoctorsaid。Sohestayedonatourhouseinsteadofgoingback。I’dha’croakedinanothertwentyminutes，thedoctorsays。"
　　Herethecoachman，beingunderorders，whippedupandnearlyranoverthethree。
　　"MyHat！"saidBeetle。"That’sprettyaverageheroic。"
　　"Prettyaverage！"McTurk’skneeinthesmallofhisbackcannonedhimintoStalky，whopuntedhimback。"Yououghttobehung！"
　　"AndtheHeadoughttogettheV。C。，"saidStalky。"Why，hemighthavebeendead_and_buriedbynow。Buthewasn’t。Buthedidn’t。Ho！ho！Hejustnippedthroughthehedgelikealustyoldblackbird。Extra—special，fivehundredlines，an’gatedforaweek——allsereno！"
　　"I’vereado’somethin’likethatinabook，"saidBeetle。"Gummy，whatachap！Justthinkofit！"
　　"I’mthinking，"saidMcTurk；andhedeliveredawildIrishyellthatmadetheteamturnround。
　　"Shutyourfatmouth，"saidStalky，dancingwithimpatience。"LeaveittoyourUncleStalky，andhe’llhavetheHeadontoast。Ifyousayaword，Beetle，tillIgiveyouleave，IswearI’llslayyou。_Habeo_Capitem_crinibus_minimis。_I’vegothimbytheshorthairs！Nowlookasifnothinghadhappened。"
　　Therewasnoneedofguile。Theschoolwastoobusycheeringthedrawnmatch。Ithungroundthelavatoriesregardlessofmuddybootswhiletheteamwashed。ItcheeredCrandallminorwheneveritcaughtsightofhim，anditcheeredmorewildlythaneverafterprayers，becausetheOldBoysineveningdress，openlytwirlingtheirmustaches，attended，andinsteadofstandingwiththemasters，rangedthemselvesalongthewallimmediatelybeforetheprefects；andtheHeadcalledthemover，too——majors，minors，andtertiuses，aftertheiroldnames。
　　"Yes，it’sallveryfine，"hesaidtohisguestsafterdinner，"buttheboysaregettingalittleoutofhand。Therewillbetroubleandsorrowlater，I’mafraid。
　　You’dbetterturninearly，Crandall。Thedormitorywillbesittingupforyou。I
　　don’tknowtowhatdizzyheightsyoumayclimbinyourprofession，butIdoknowyou’llnevergetsuchabsoluteadorationasyou’regettingnow。"
　　"Confoundtheadoration。Iwanttofinishmycigar，sir。"
　　"It’sallpuregold。Gowhereglorywaits，Crandall——minor。"
　　Thesettingofthatapotheosiswasaten—bedatticdormitory，communicatingthroughdoorlessopeningswiththreeothers。Thegasflickeredovertherawpinewashstands。
　　Therewasanincessantwhistlingofdrafts，andoutsidethenakedwindowstheseabeatonthePebbleridge。
　　"Sameoldbed——sameoldmattress，Ibelieve，"saidCrandall，yawning。"Sameoldeverything。Oh，butI’mlame！I’dnonotionyouchapscouldplaylikethis。"Hecaressedabatteredshin。"You’vegivenusallsomethingtorememberyouby。"
　　Itneededafewminutestoputthemattheirease；and，insomewaytheycouldnotunderstand，theyweremoreeasywhenCrandallturnedroundandsaidhisprayers——aceremonyhehadneglectedforsomeyears。
　　"Oh，I_am_sorry。I’veforgottentoputoutthegas。"
　　"Pleasedon’tbother，"saidtheprefectofthedormitory。"Worthingtondoesthat。"
　　Anightgownedtwelve—year—old，whohadbeenwaitingtoshowoff，leapedfromhisbedtothebracketandbackagain，bywayofawashstand。
　　"Howd’youmanagewhenhe’sasleep？"saidCrandall，chuckling。
　　"Shoveacoldcleekdownhisneck。"
　　"ItwasawetspongewhenIwasjuniorinthedormitory……Hullo！What’shappening？"
　　Thedarknesshadfilledwithwhispers，thesoundoftrailingrugs，barefeetonbareboards，protests，giggles，andthreatssuchas：
　　"Bequiet，youass！……Squattez—vousonthefloor，then！……Iswearyouaren’tgoingtositon_my_bed！……Mindthetooth—glass，"etc。
　　Sta——Corkransaid，"theprefectbegan，histoneshowinghissenseofStalky’sinsolence，"thatperhapsyou’dtellusaboutthatbusinesswithDuncan’sbody。"
　　"Yes——yes——yes，"ranthekeenwhispers。"Tellus"
　　"There’snothingtotell。Whatonearthareyouchapshoppin’aboutinthecoldfor？"
　　"Nevermindus，"saidthevoices。"TellaboutFat—Sow。"
　　SoCrandallturnedonhispillowandspoketothegenerationhecouldnotsee。
　　"Well，aboutthreemonthsagohewascommandingatreasure—guard——acartfullofrupeestopaytroopswith——fivethousandrupeesinsilver。Hewascomin’toaplacecalledFortPearson，nearKalabagh。"
　　"Iwasbornthere，"squeakedasmallfag。"Itwascalledaftermyuncle。"
　　"Shutup——youandyouruncle！Nevermindhim，Crandall。"
　　"Well，ne’ermind。TheAfridisfoundoutthatthistreasurewasonthemove，andtheyambushedthewholeshowacoupleofmilesbeforehegottothefort，andcutuptheescort。Duncanwaswounded，andtheescorthookedit。Thereweren’tmorethantwentySepoysalltold，andtherewereanyamountofAfridis。Asthingsturnedout，IwasinchargeatFortPearson。Factwas，I’dheardthefiringandwasjustgoingtoseeaboutit，whenDuncan’smencameup。Soweallturnedbacktogether。Theytoldmesomethingaboutanofficer，butIcouldn’tgetthehangofthingstillIsawachapunderthewheelsofthecartoutintheopen，proppedupononearm，blazingawaywitharevolver。Yousee，theescorthadabandonedthecart，andtheAfridis——they’reanawfullysuspiciousgang——thoughttheretreatwasatrap——sortofdraw，youknow——andthecartwasthebait。SotheyhadleftpooroldDuncanalone。’Minutetheyspottedhowfewwewere，itwasaraceacrosstheflatwhoshouldreacholdDuncanfirst。Weran，andtheyran，andwewon，andafteralittlehackin’abouttheypulledoff。IneverknewitwasoneofustillIwasrightontopofhim。ThereareheapsofDuncansintheservice，andofcoursethenamedidn’tremindme。Hewasn’tchangedatallhardly。He’dbeenshotthroughthelungs，pooroldman，andhewasprettythirsty。Igavehimadrinkandsatdownbesidehim，and——funnything，too——hesaid，’Hullo，Toffee！’andIsaid，’Hullo，Fat—Sow！hopeyouaren’thurt，’orsomethingofthekind。Buthediedinaminuteortwo——neverliftedhisheadoffmyknees……Isay，youchapsouttherewillgetyourdeathofcold。Bettergotobed。"
　　"Allright。Inaminute。Butyourcuts——yourcuts。Howdidyougetwounded？"
　　"ThatwaswhenweweretakingthebodybacktotheFort。Theycameonagain，andtherewasabitofascrimmage。"
　　"Didyoukillanyone？"
　　"Yes。Shouldn’twonder。Good—night。"
　　"Good—night。Thankyou，Crandall。Thanksawf’ly，Crandall。Good—night。"
　　Theunseencrowdswithdrew。Hisowndormitoryrustledintobedandlaysilentforawhile。
　　"Isay，Crandall"——Stalky’svoicewastunedtoawhollyforeignreverence。
　　"Well，what？"
　　"Supposeachapfoundanotherchapcroakingwithdiphtheria——allbungedupwithit——andtheystuckatubeinhisthroatandthechapsuckedthestuffout，whatwouldyousay？"
　　"Um，"saidCrandall，reflectively。"I’veonlyheardofonecase，andthatwasadoctor。Hediditforawoman。"
　　"Oh，thiswasn’tawoman。Itwasjustaboy。"
　　"Makesitallthefiner，then。It’saboutthebravestthingamancando。Why？"
　　"Oh，Iheardofachapdoin’it。That’sall。"
　　"Thenhe’sabraveman。"
　　"Would_you_funkit？"
　　"Ra—ather。Anybodywould。Fancydyingofdiphtheriaincoldblood。"
　　"Well——ah！Er！Lookhere！"Thesentenceendedinagrunt，forStalkyhadleapedoutofbedandwithMcTurkwassittingontheheadofBeetle，whowouldhavesprungtheminethereandthen。
　　Nextday，whichwasthelastofthetermandgivenuptoafewwhollyunimportantexaminations，beganwithwrathandwar。Mr。Kinghaddiscoveredthatnearlyallhishouse——itlay，asyouknow，nextdoorbutonetoProut’sinthelongrangeofbuildings——hadunlockedthedoorsbetweenthedormitoriesandhadgoneintolistentoastorytoldbyCrandall。HewenttotheHead，clamorous，injured，appealing；forheneverapprovedofallowingso—calledyoungmenoftileworldtocontaminatethemoralsofboyhood。Verygood，saidtheHead，hewouldattendtoit。
　　"Well，I’mawf’lysorry，"saidCrandallguiltily。"Idon’tthinkItold’emanythingtheyoughtn’ttohear。Don’tletthemgetintotroubleonmyaccount。"
　　"Tck！"theHeadanswered，withtheghostofawink。"Itisn’ttheboysthatmaketrouble；it’sthemasters。However，ProutandKingdon’tapproveofdormitorygatheringsonthisscale，andonemustbackupthehouse—masters。Moreover，it’shopelesstopunishtwohousesonly，solateintheterm。Wemustbefairandincludeeverybody。Let’ssee。TheyhaveaholidaytaskfortheEasters，which，ofcourse，noneofthemwilleverlookat。Wewillgivethewholeschool，exceptprefectsandstudy—boys，regularprep。to—night；andtheCommon—roomwillhavetosupplyamastertotakeit。Wemustbefairtoall。"
　　"Prep。onthelastnightoftheterm。Whew！"saidCrandall，thinkingofhisownwildyouth。"Ifancytherewillbelarks。"
　　Theschool，frolickingamongpackedtrunks，whoopingdownthecorridor，and"gloating"inform—rooms，receivedthenewswithamazementandrage。Noschoolintheworlddidprep。onthelastnightoftheterm。Thisthingwasmonstrous，tyrannical，subversiveoflaw，religion，andmorality。Theywouldgointotheform—rooms，andtheywouldtaketheirdegradedholidaytaskwiththem，but——heretheysmiledandspeculatedwhatmannerofmantheCommon—roomwouldsendupagainstthem。ThelotfellonMason，credulousandenthusiastic，wholovedyouth。Noothermasterwasanxioustotakethat"prep。，"fortheschoollackedthesteadyinginfluenceoftradition；andmenaccustomedtotheorderedroutineofancientfoundationsfounditoccasionallyinsubordinate。Thefourlongform—rooms，inwhichallbelowtherankofstudy—boysworked，receivedhimwiththundersofapplause。ErehehadcoughedtwicetheyfavoredhimwithametricalsummaryofthemarriagelawsofGreatBritain，asrecordedbytheHighPriestoftheIsraelitesandcommentedonbytheleaderofthehost。Thelowerformsremindedhimthatitwasthelastday，andthatthereforehemust"takeitallinplay。"Whenhedashedofftorebukethem，theLowerFourthandUpperThirdbeganwithoneaccordtobesick，loudlyandrealistically。Mr。Masontried，ofallvainthingsunderheaven，toarguewiththem，andaboldsoulatabackdeskbadehim"takefiftylinesfornot’oldingup’is’andbeforespeaking。"AsonewhopridedhimselfupontheperfectionofhisEnglishthiscutMasontothequick，andwhilehewastryingtodiscovertheoffender，theUpperandLowerSecond，threeform—roomsaway，turnedoutthegasandthrewink—pots。Itwasapleasantandstimulating"prep。"Thestudy—boysandprefectsheardtheechoesofitfaroff，andtheCommon—roomatdessertsmiled。
　　Stalkywaited，watchinhand，tillhalf—pasteight。"IfitgoesonmuchlongertheHeadwillcomeup，"saidhe。"We’lltellthestudiesfirst，andthenthedorm—rooms。
　　Looksharp！"
　　HeallowednotimeforBeetletobedramaticorMcTurktodrawl。Theypouredintostudyafterstudy，toldtheirtale，andwentagainsosoonastheysawtheywereunderstood，waitingfornocomment；whilethenoiseofthatunholy"prep。"grewanddeepened。BythedoorofFlint’sstudytheymetMasonflyingtowardsthecorridor。
　　——"He’sgonetofetchtheHead。Hurryup！Comeon！"TheybrokeintoNumberTwelveform—roomabreastandpanting。
　　"TheHead！TheHead！TheHead！"Thatcallstilledthetumultforaminute，andStalky，leapingtoadesk，shouted，"HewentandsuckedthediphtheriastuffoutofStettsonmajor’sthroatwhenwethoughthewasintown。Stoprotting，youasses！
　　StettsonmajorwouldhavecroakedfftheHeadhadn’tdoneit。TheHeadmighthavediedhimself。Crandallsaysit’sthebravestthinganylivin’mancando，andI"——hisvoicecracked——"theHeaddon’tknowweknow！"
　　McTurkandBeetle，jumpingfromdesktodesk，drovethenewshomeamongthejuniorforms。Therewasapause，andthen，Masonbehindhim，theHeadentered。Itwasintheestablishedorderofthingsthatnoboyshouldspeakormoveunderhiseye。Heexpectedthehushofawe。Hewasreceivedwithcheers——steady，ceaselesscheering。
　　Beingawiseman，hewentaway，andtheformsweresilentandalittlefrightened。
　　"It’sallright，"saidStalky。"Hecan’tdomuch。’Tisn’tasifyou’dpulledthedesksuplikewedidwhenoldCarletontookprep。once。Keepitup！Hear’emcheeringinthestudies！"Herocketedoutwithayell，tofindFlintandtheprefectsliftingtheroofoffthecorridor。
　　WhentheHeadofalimitedliabilitycompany，payingfourpercent。，ischeeredonhissaintlywaytoprayers，notonlybyfourform—roomsofboyswaitingpunishment，butbyhistrustedprefects，hecaneitheraskforanexplanationorgohisroadwithdignity，whiletheseniorhouse—masterglareslikeanexcitedcatandpointsouttoawhiteandtremblingmathematicalmasterthatcertainmethods——nothis，thankGod———usuallyproducecertainresults。OutofdelicacytheOldBoysdidnotattendthatcall—over；anditwastotheschooldrawnupinthegymnasiumthattheHeadspokeicily。
　　"ItisnotoftenthatIdonotunderstandyou；butIconfessIdonotto—night。Someofyou，afteryouridioticperformancesatprep。，seemtothinkmeafitpersontocheer。IamgoingtoshowyouthatIamnot。"
　　Crash——crash——crash——camethetriplecheerthatdisprovedit，andtheHeadgloweredunderthegas。"Thatisenough。Youwillgainnothing。Thelittleboys（theLowerSchooldidnotlikethatformofaddress）willdomethreehundredlinesapieceintheholidays。Ishalltakenofurthernoticeofthem。TheUpperSchoolwilldomeonethousandlinesapieceintheholidays，tobeshownuptheeveningofthedaytheycomeback。Andfurther——"
　　"Gummy，whataglutton！"Stalkywhispered。
　　"ForyourbehaviortowardsMr。MasonIintendtolickthewholeoftheUpperSchoolto—morrowwhenIgiveyouyourjourney—money。Thiswillincludethethreestudy—boysIfounddancingontheform—roomdeskswhenIcameup。Prefectswillstayaftercall—over。"
　　Theschoolfiledoutinsilence，butgatheredingroupsbythegymnasiumdoorwaitingwhatmightbefall。
　　"Andnow，Flint，"saidtheHead，"willyoubegoodenoughtogivemesomeexplanationofyourconduct？"
　　"Well，sir，"saidFlintdesperately，"ifyousaveachap’slifeattheriskofyourownwhenhe’sdyin’ofdiphtheria，andtheColl。findsitout，wha—whatcanyouexpect，sir？"
　　"Um，Isee。Thenthatnoisewasnotmeantfor——ah，cheek。Icanconniveatimmorality，butIcannotstandimpudence。However，itdoesnotexcusetheirinsolencetoMr。Mason。I’llforegothelinesthisonce，remember；butthelickingsholdgood。"
　　Whenthisnewswasmadepublic，theschool，lostinwonderandadmiration，gaspedattheHeadashewenttohishouse。Herewasamantobereverenced。Ontherareoccasionswhenhecanedhediditveryscientifically，andtheexecutionofahundredboyswouldbeepic——immense。
　　"It’sallright，HeadSahib。_We_know，"saidCrandall，astheHeadslippedoffhisgownwithagruntinhissmoking—room。"Ifoundoutjustnowfromoursubstitute。Hewasgettin’myopinionofyourperformancelastnightinthedormitory。Ididn’tknowthenthatitwasyouhewastalkin’about。Craftyyounganimal。Freckledchapwitheyes———Corkran，Ithinkhisnameis。"
　　"Oh，Iknow_him_，thankyou，"saidtheHead，andreflectively。"Ye—es，IshouldhaveincludedthemevenifIhadn’tseen’em。"
　　"IftheoldColl。weren’talittleabovethemselvesalready，we’dchairyoudownthecorridor，"saidtheEngineer。"Oh，Bates，howcouldyou？Youmighthavecaughtityourself，andwherewouldwehavebeen，then？"
　　"Ialwaysknewyouwereworthtwentyofusanyday。NowI’msureofit，"saidtheSquadronCommander，lookingroundforcontradictions。
　　"Heisn’tfittomanageaschool，though。Promiseyou’llneverdoitagain，BatesSahib。We——wecan’tgoawaycomfyinourmindsifyoutaketheserisks，"saidtheGunner。
　　"BatesSahib，youaren’tevergoin’tocanethewholeUpperSchool，areyou？"saidCrandall。
　　"Icanconniveatimmorality，asIsaid，butIcan’tstandimpudence。Mason’slotisquitehardenoughevenwhenIbackhim。Besides，themenatthegolf—clubheardthemsinging’AaronandMoses。’Ishallhavecomplaintsaboutthatfromtheparentsofday—boys。Decencymustbepreserved。"
　　"We’recomingtohelp，"saidalltheguests。
　　TheUpperSchoolwerecanedoneaftertheother，theirovercoatsovertheirarms，thebrakeswaitingintheroadbelowtotakethemtothestation，theirjourney—moneyonthetable。TheHeadbeganwithStalky，McTurk，andBeetle。Hedealtfaithfullybythem。
　　"Andhere’syourjourney—money。Good—by，andpleasantholidays。"
　　"Good—by。Thankyou，sir。Good—by。"
　　Theyshookhands。"Desiredon’toutrunperformance——much——thismornin’。Wegotthecreamofit，"saidStalky。"Nowwaittillafewchapscomeout，andwe’llreallycheerhim。"
　　"Don’twaitonouraccount，please，"saidCrandall，speakingfortheOldBoys。
　　"We’regoingtobeginnow。"
　　Itwasverywellsolongasthecheeringwasconfinedtothecorridor，butwhenitspreadtothegymnasium，whentheboysawaitingtheirturncheered，theHeadgaveitupindespair，andtheremnantflungthemselvesuponhimtoshakehands。Thentheyseriouslydevotedthemselvestocheeringtillthebrakeswerehustledoffthepremisesindumb—show。
　　"Didn’tIsayI’dgetevenwithhim？"saidStalkyonthebox—seat，astheyswungintothenarrowNorthamstreet。"Nowalltogether——takin’timefromyourUncleStalky：
　　"It’sawaywehaveintheArmy，It’sawaywehaveintheNavy，It’sawaywehaveatthePublicSchools，Whichnobodycandeny！"
　　THEFLAGOFTHEIRCOUNTRY。
　　Itwaswinterandbittercoldofmornings。ConsequentlyStalkyandBeetle——McTurkbeingoftheoffensivetypethatmakesornatetoiletunderallcircumstances—drowsedtillthelastmomentbeforeturningouttocall—overinthegas—litgymnasium。Itfollowedthattheywereoftenlate；andsinceeveryunpunctualityearnedthemablackmark，andsincethreeblackmarksaweekmeantdefaulters’drill，equallyitfollowedthattheyspenthoursundertheSergeant’shand。Foxydrilledthedefaulterswithallthepompofhisoldparade—ground。"Don’tthinkit’sanypleasuretome"（hisintroductionnevervaried）。"I’dmuchsoonerbesmokingaquietpipeinmyownquarters——butIseewe’avetheOldBrigadeonour’andsthisafternoon。IfIonly’adyouregular，MusterCorkran，"saidhe，dressingtheline。
　　"You’vehadmefornearlysixweeks，youoldglutton。Numberofffromtheright！"
　　"Not_quite_soprevious，please。I’mtakingthisdrill。Left，half——turn！
　　Slow——march。"Twenty—fivesluggards，alloldoffenders，filedintothegymnasium。
　　"Quietlyprovideyourselveswiththerequisitedumb—bells；returnin’quietlytoyourplace。Numberofffromtheright，inalowvoice。Oddnumbersonepacetothefront。
　　Evennumbersstandfast。Now，leanin’forwardfromthe’ips，takin’yourtimefromme。"
　　Thedumb—bellsroseandfell，clashedandwerereturnedasone。Theboyswereexpertsatthewearygame。
　　"Ve—rygood。Ishallbesorrywhenanyofyouresumeyour’abitsofpunctuality。
　　Quietlyreturndumb—bells。Wewillnowtrysomesimpledrill。"
　　"Ugh！Iknowthatsimpledrill。"
　　"Itwouldhe’ighlytoyourdiscreditifyoudidnot，MusterCorkran。_At_thesametime，itisnotsoeasyasitlooks。"
　　"Betyouabob，Icandrillaswellasyou，Foxy。"
　　"We’llseelater。Nowtrytoimagineyouain’tdefaultersatall，butan’arfcompanyonparade，mebein’yourcommandin’officer。There’snocalltolaugh。Ifyou’relucky，mostofyouwill’avetotakedrills’arfyourlife。Domealittlecredit。You’vebeenatitlongenough，goodnessknows。"
　　Theywereformedintofours，marched，wheeled，andcountermarched，thespelloforderedmotionstrongonthem。AsFoxysaid，theyhadbeenatitalongtime。
　　Thegymnasiumdooropened，revealingMcTurkinchargeofanoldgentleman。
　　TheSergeant，leadingawheel，didnotsee。"Notsobad，"hemurmured。"Not’arfsobad。Thepivot—manofthewheel_honly_markstime，MusterSwayne。Now，MusterCorkran，yousayyouknowthedrill？Obligemebytakin’overthecommandand，reversin’mywordsstepbystep，relegatethemtotheirpreviousformation。"
　　"What’sthis？What’sthis？"criedthevisitorauthoritatively。
　　"A——alittledrill，sir，"stammeredFoxy，sayingnothingoffirstcauses。
　　"Excellent——excellent。Ionlywishthereweremoreofit，"hechirruped。"Don’tletmeinterrupt。Youwerejustgoingtohandovertosomeone，weren’tyou？"
　　Hesatdown，breathingfrostilyinthechillair。"Ishallmuckit。IknowIshall，"
　　whisperedStalkyuneasily；andhisdiscomfortwasnotlightenedbyamurmurfromtherearrankthattheoldgentlemanwasGeneralCollinson，amemberoftheCollegeBoardofCouncil。
　　"Eh——what？"saidFoxy。
　　"Collinson，K。C。B。——HecommandedthePompadours—myfather’soldregiment，"hissedSwaynemajor。
　　"Takeyourtime，"saidthevisitor。"_I_knowhowitfeels。Yourfirstdrill——eh？"
　　"Yes，sir。"Hedrewanunhappybreath。"’Tention。Dress！"Theechoofhisownvoicerestoredhisconfidence。
　　Thewheelwasfacedabout，flungback，brokenintofours，andrestoredtolinewithoutafalter。Theofficialhourofpunishmentwaslongpassed，butnoonethoughtofthat。TheywerebackingupStalky——Stalkyindeadlyfearlesthisvoiceshouldcrack。
　　"Hedoesyoucredit，Sergeant，"wasthevisitor’scomment。"Agooddrill——andgoodmaterialtodrill。Now，it’sanextraordinarything：I’vebeenlunchingwithyourhead—masterandhenevertoldmeyouhadacadet—corpsintheCollege。"
　　"We’aven’t，sir。Thisisonlyalittledrill，"saidtheSergeant。
　　"Butaren’ttheykeenonit？"saidMcTurk，speakingforthefirsttime，withatwinkleinhisdeep—seteyes。
　　"Whyaren’tyouinit，though，Willy？"
　　"Oh，I’mnotpunctualenough，"saidMcTurk。"TheSergeantonlytakesthepickofus。"
　　"Dismiss！Breakoff！"criedFoxy，fearinganexplosionintheranks。"I——Ioughttohavetoldyou，sir，that——"
　　"Butyoushouldhaveacadet—corps。"TheGeneralpursuedhisownlineofthought。
　　"You_shall_haveacadet—corps，too，ifmyrecommendationinCouncilisanyuse。I
　　don’tknowwhenI’vebeensopleased。Boysanimatedbyaspiritlikeyoursshouldsetanexampletothewholeschool。"
　　"Theydo，"saidMcTurk。
　　"Blessmysoul！Canitbesolate？I’vekeptmyflywaitinghalfanhoar。Well，I
　　mustrunaway。Nothinglikeseeingthingsforone’sself。Whichendofthebuildingsdoesonegetoutat？Willyoushowme，Willy？Whowasthatboywhotookthedrill？"
　　"Corkran，Ithinkhisnameis。"
　　"Yououghttoknowhim。That’sthekindofboyyoushouldcultivate。Evidentlyanunusualsort。Awonderfulsight。Fiveandtwentyboys，who，Idaresay，wouldmuchsoonerbeplayingcricket——"（itwasthedepthofwinter；butgrownpeople，especiallythosewhohavelivedlonginforeignparts，maketheselittleerrors，andMcTurkdidnotcorrecthim）——"drillingforthesheerloveofit。Ashametowastesomuchgoodstuff；butIthinkIcancarrymypoint。"
　　"An’who’syourfriendwiththewhitewhiskers？"demandedStalky，onMcTurk’sreturntothestudy。
　　"GeneralCollinson。Hecomesovertoshootwithmyfathersometimes。Ratheradecentoldbargee，too。HesaidIoughttocultivateyouracquaintance，Stalky。"
　　"Didhetipyou？"McTurkexhibitedablessedwholesovereign。
　　"Ah，"saidStalky，annexingit，forhewastreasurer。"We’llhaveaheftybrew。
　　You’dprettyaveragecoolcheek，Turkey，tojawaboutourkeennessan’punctuality。"
　　"Didn’ttheoldboyknowweweredefaulters？"saidBeetle。
　　"Nothim。HecamedowntolunchwiththeHead。Ifoundhimpokin’abouttheplaceonhisownhookafterwards，an’IthoughtI’dshowhimthegiddydrill。WhenIfoundhewassopleased，Iwasn’tgoin’todamphisgiddyardor。Hemightn’tha’givenmethequidifIhad。"
　　"Wasn’toldFoxypleased？Didyouseehimgetpinkbehindtheears？"saidBeetle。
　　"Itwasanawfulscoreforhim。Didn’twebackhimupbeautifully？Let’sgodowntoKeyte’sandgetsomecocoaandsassingers。"
　　TheyovertookFoxy，speedingdowntoretailtheadventuretoKeyte，whoinhistimehadbeenTroopSergeant—Majorinacavalryregiment，andnow，war—wornveteran，waslocalpostmasterandconfectioner。
　　"Youoweussomething，"saidStalky，withmeaning。
　　"I’m’ighlygrateful，MusterCorkran。I’ve’adtorunagainstyouprettyhardinthewayo’business，nowandthen，butIwillsaythatoutsideo’business——boundsan’
　　smokin’，an’suchlike——Idon’twishtohaveamoretrustworthyyounggentlemanto’elpmeoutofahole。Thewayyou’andledthedrillwasbeautiful，thoughIsayit。
　　Now，ifyoucomeregularhenceforward——"
　　"Buthe’llhavetobelatethreetimesaweek，"saidBeetle。"Youcan’texpectachaptodothat——justtopleaseyou，Foxy。"
　　"Ah，that’strue。Still，ifyoucouldmanageit——andyou，MusterBeetle——itwouldgiveyouabigstartwhenthecadet—corpsisformed。IexpecttheGeneralwillrecommendit。"
　　TheyraidedKeyte’sverymuchattheirownsweetwill，fortheoldman，whoknewthemwell，wasdeepintalkwithFoxy。"Imakewhatwe’vetakensevenandsix，"
　　Stalkycalledatlastoverthecounter；"butyou’dbettercountforyourself。"
　　"No——no。I’dtakeyourwordanyday，MusterCorkran。——InthePompadours，washe，Sergeant？WelaywiththemonceatUmballa，Ithinkitwas。"
　　"Idon’tknowwhetherthisham—and—tonguetiniseighteenpenceoronean’four。"
　　"Sayonean’fourpence，MusterCorkran……Ofcourse，Sergeant，ifitwasanyusetogivemytime，I’dbepleasedtodoit，butI’mtooold。I’dliketoseeadrillagain。"
　　"Oh，comeon，Stalky，"criedMcTurk。"Heisn’tlistenin’toyou。Chuckoverthemoney。"
　　"Iwantthequidchanged，youass。Keyte！PrivateKeyte！CorporalKeyte！
　　Terroop—Sergeant—MajorKeyte，willyougivemechangeforaquid？"
　　"Yes——yes，ofcourse。Sevenan’six。"Hestaredabstractedly，pushedthesilverover，andmeltedawayintothedarknessofthebackroom。
　　"Nowthosetwo’lljawabouttheMutinytilltea—time，"saidBeetle。
　　"OldKeytewasatSobraon，"saidStalky。"Hearhimtalkaboutthatsometimes！BeatsFoxyhollow。"
　　TheHead’sface，inscrutableasever，wasbentoverapileofletters。
　　"Whatdoyouthink？"hesaidatlasttotheReverendJohnGillett。
　　"It’sagoodidea。There’snodenyingthat——anestimableidea。"
　　"Weconcedethatmuch。Well？"
　　"Ihavemydoubtsaboutit——that’sall。ThemoreIknowofboysthelessdoI
　　professmyselfcapableoffollowingtheirmoods；butIownIshallbeverymuchsurprisediftheschemetakes。It——itisn’tthetemperoftheschool。WepreparefortheArmy。"
　　"Mybusiness——in_this_matter——istocarryoutthewishesoftheCouncil。Theydemandavolunteercadet—corps。Avolunteercadet—corpswillbefurnished。Ihavesuggested，however，thatweneednotembarkupontheexpenseofuniformstillwearedrilled。GeneralCollinsonissendingusfiftylethalweapons——cut—downSniders，hecallsthem——allcarefullyplugged。"
　　"Yes，thatisnecessaryinaschoolthatusesloadedsaloon—pistolstotheextentwedo。"TheReverendJohnsmiled。
　　"ThereforetherewillbenooutlayexcepttheSergeant’stime。"
　　"Butifhefailsyouwillbeblamed。"
　　"Oh，assuredly。Ishallpostanoticeinthecorridorthisafternoon，and——"
　　"Ishallwatchtheresult。"
　　"Kindlykeepyour’andsoffthenewarm—rack。"Foxywrestledwithaturbulentcrowdinthegymnasium。"Noritwon’tdoevenacondemnedSnideranygoodtobecontinualsnappin’thelock，Mr。Swayne。——Yiss，theuniformswillcomelater，whenwe’remoreproficient；atpresentwewillconfineourselvestodrill。Iam’ereforthepurposeo’takin’thenameso’thosewillin’tojoin。——PutdownthatSnider，MusterHogan！"
　　"Whatareyougoin’todo，Beetle？"saidavoice。
　　"I’vehadallthedrill_I_want，thankyou。"
　　"What！Afterallyou’velearned？Comeon！Don’tbeascab！They’llmakeyoucorporalinaweek，"criedStalky。
　　"I’mnotgoin’upfortheArmy。"Beetletouchedhisspectacles。
　　"Holdonashake，Foxy，"saidHogan。"Whereareyougoin’todrillus？"
　　"Here——inthegym——tillyouarefitan’capabletobetakenoutontheroad。"TheSergeantthrewachest。
　　"ForalltheNorthamcadstolookat？Notgoodenough，Foxibus。"
　　"Well，wewon’tmakeapointofit。Youlearnyourdrillfirst，an’laterwe’llsee。"
　　"Hullo，"saidAnsellofMacrea’s，shoulderingthroughthemob。"What’sallthisaboutagiddycadet—corps？"
　　"Itwillsaveyoualoto’timeatSandburst，"theSergeantrepliedpromptly。
　　"You’llbedismissedyourdrillsearlyifyougoupwithagoodgroundin’
　　before’and。"
　　"Hm！’Don’tmindlearnin’mydrill，butI’mnotgoin’toassaboutthecountrywithatoySnider。Perowne，whatareyougoin’todo？Hogan’sjoinin’。"
　　"Don’tknowwhetherI’vethetime，"saidPerowne。"I’vegotnoendofextra—tuasitis。"
　　"Well，callthisextra—tu，"saidAnsell。"’Twon’ttakeuslongtomugupthedrill。"
　　"Oh，that’srightenough，butwhataboutmarchin’inpublic？"saidHogan，notforeseeingthatthreeyearslaterheshoulddieintheBurmesesun—lightoutsideMinhlaFort。
　　"Afraidtheuniformwon’tsuityourcreamycomplexion？"McTurkaskedwithavillainoussneer。
　　"Shutup，Turkey。Youaren’tgoin’upfortheArmy。"
　　"No，butI’mgoin’tosendasubstitute。Hi！Morrellan’Wake！Youtwofagsbythearm—rack，you’vegottovolunteer。"
　　Blushingdeeply——theyhadbeentooshytoapplybefore——theyoungsterssidledtowardstheSergeant。
　　"ButIdon’twantthelittlechaps——notatfirst，"saidtheSergeantdisgustedly。"I
　　want——I’dlikesomeoftheOldBrigadethedefaulters——tostiffen’emabit。"
　　"Don’tbeungrateful，Sergeant。They’renearlyasbigasyouget’emintheArmynow。"McTurkreadthepapersofthoseyearsandcouldbetrustedforgeneralinformation，whichheusedasheusedhis"tweaker。"YethedidnotknowthatWakeminorwouldbeabimbashioftheEgyptianArmyerehisthirtiethyear。
　　Hogan，Swayne，Stalky，Perowne，andAnsellweredeepinconsultationbythevaulting—horse，Stalkyasusuallayingdownthelaw。TheSergeantwatchedthemuneasily，knowingthatmanywaitedontheirlead。
　　"Foxydon’tlikemyrecruits，"saidMcTurk，inapainedtone，toBeetle。"Yougethimsome。"
　　Nothingloath，Beetlepinionedtwomorefags——eachnotallerthanacarbine。"Hereyouare，Foxy。Here’sfoodforpowder。Strikeforyourhearthsan’homes，youyoungbrutes——an’bejollyquickaboutit。"
　　"Stillheisn’thappy，"saidMcTurk。
　　"ForthewaywehavewithourArmyIsthewaywehavewithourNavy。"
　　HereBeetlejoinedin。Theyhadfoundthepoeminanoldvolumeof"Punch，"anditseemedtocoverthesituation：
　　"An’bothof’emledtoadversity，Whichnobodycandeny！"
　　"Youbequiet，younggentlemen。Ifyoucan’t’elp——don’t’inder。"Foxy’seyewasstillonthecouncilbythehorse。Carter，White，andTyrrell，allboysofinfluence，hadjoinedit。Therestfingeredtheriflesirresolutely。"Waitashake，"
　　criedStalky。"Can’tweturnoutthoserottersbeforewegettowork？"
　　"Certainly，"saidFoxy。"Anyonewishfultojoinwillstay’ere。Thosewhodonotsointendwillgoout，quietlyclosin’thedoorbe’ind’em。"
　　Halfadozenoftheearnest—mindedrushedatthem，andtheyhadjusttimetoescapeintothecorridor。
　　"Well，whydon’tyoujoin？"Beetleasked，resettlinghiscollar。
　　"Whydidn’tyou？"
　　"What’sthegood？Wearen’tgoin’upfortheArmy。Besides，Iknowthedrill——allexceptthemanual，ofcourse。’Wonderwhatthey’redoin’inside？"
　　"Makin’atreatywithFoxy。Didn’tyouhearStalkysay：’That’swhatwe’lldo——an’
　　ifhedon’tlikeithecanlumpit’？They’lluseFoxyforacram。Can’tyousee，youidiot？They’regoin’upforSandhurstortheShopinlessthanayear。They’lllearntheirdrillan’thenthey’lldropitlikeashot。D’yousupposechapswiththeiramountofextra—tuaretakin’upvolunteerin’forfun？"
　　"Well，Idon’tknow。Ithoughtofdoin’apoemaboutit——rottin’’em，youknow——’TheBalladoftheDogshooters’——eh？"
　　"Idon’tthinkyoucan，becauseKing’llbedownonthecorpslikeacartloado’
　　bricks。Hehasn’tbeenconsulted，he’ssniffin’roundthenotice—boardnow。Let’slurehim。"Theystrolledupcarelesslytowardsthehonse—master——amostmeekcouple。
　　"How’sthis？"saidKingwithastartoffeignedsurprise。"Methoughtyouwouldbelearningtofightforyourcountry。"
　　"Ithinkthecompany’sfull，sir，"saidMcTurk。
　　"It’sagreatpity，"sighedBeetle。
　　"Fortyvaliantdefenders，havewe，then？Hownoble！Whatdevotion！Ipresumethatitispossiblethatadesiretoevadetheirnormalresponsibilitiesmaybeatthebottomofthiszeal。Doubtlesstheywillbeaccordedspecialprivileges，liketheChoirandtheNaturalHistorySociety——onemustnotsayBug—hunters。"
　　"Oh，Isupposeso，sir，"saidMcTurk，cheerily。"TheHeadhasn’tsaidanythingaboutityet，buthewill，ofcourse。"
　　"Oh，sureto。"
　　"Itisjustpossible，myBeetle，"Kingwheeledonthelastspeaker，"thatthehouse—masters——anecessarybutsomewhatneglectedfactorinourhumbleschemeofexistence——mayhaveawordtosayonthematter。Life，fortheyoungatleast，isnotallweaponsandmunitionsofwar。Educationisincidentallyoneofouraims。"
　　"Whataconsistentpigheis，"cooedMcTurk，whentheywereoutofearshot。"Onealwaysknowswheretohavehim。DidyouseehowherosetothatdrawabouttheHeadandspecialprivileges？"
　　"Confoundhim，hemighthavehadthedecencytohavebackedthescheme。Icoulddosuchalovelyballad，rottin’it；andnowI’llhavetobeagiddyenthusiast。Itdon’tbarourpullingStalky’sleginthestudy，doesit？"
　　"Oh，no；butintheColl。wemustbepro—cadet—corpslikeanything。Can’tyoumakeupagiddyepigram，_a’_la_Catullus_，aboutKingobjectin’toit？"BeetlewasatthisnobletaskwhenStalkyreturnedallhotfromhisfirstdrill。
　　"Hullo，myramrod—bunger！"beganMcTurk。"Where’syourdeaddog？IsitDefenceorDefiance？"
　　"Defiance，"saidStalky，andleapedonhimatthatword。"Lookhere，Turkey，youmustn’trotthecorps。We’vearrangeditbeautifully。Foxyswearshewon’ttakeusoutintotheopentillwesaywewanttogo。"
　　"_Dis_—gustin’exhibitionofimmatureinfantsapin’theidiosyncrasiesoftheirelders。Snff！"
　　"HaveyoudrawnKing，Beetle？"Stalkyaskedinapauseofthescuffle。
　　"Notexactly；butthat’shisgenialstyle。"
　　"Well，listentoyourUncleStalky——whoisagreatman。Moreoverandsubsequently，Foxy’sgoin’toletusdrillthecorpsinturn——_privatim_et_seriatim_——sothatwe’llallknowhowtohandleahalfcompanyanyhow。_Ergo_，an’_propter_hoc_，whenwegototheShopweshallbedismisseddrillearly；thus，mybeloved’earers，combinin’educationwithwholesomeamusement。"
　　"Iknewyou’dmakeasortofextra—tuofit，youcold—bloodedbrute，"saidMcTurk。
　　"Don’tyouwanttodieforyourgiddycountry？"
　　"NotifIcanjollywellavoidit。Soyoumustn’trotthecorps。"
　　"We’ddecidedonthat，yearsago，"saidBeetle，scornfully。"King’lldotherottin’。"
　　"Thenyou’vegottorotKing，mygiddypoet。MakeupagoodcatchyLimerick，andletthefagssingit。"
　　"Lookhere，yousticktovolunteerin’，anddon’tjogthetable。"
　　"Hewon’thaveanythingtotakeholdof，"saidStalky，withdarksignificance。
　　Theydidnotknowwhatthatmeanttill，afewdayslater，theyproposedtowatchthecorpsatdrill。Theyfoundthegymnasiumdoorlockedandafagonguard。"Thisissweetcheek，"saidMcTurk，stooping。
　　"Mustn’tlookthroughthekey—hole，"saidthesentry。
　　"Ilikethat。Why，Wake，youlittlebeast，Imadeyouavolunteer。"
　　"Can’thelpit。Myordersarenottoallowanyonetolook。"
　　"S’posewedo？"saidMcTurk。"S’posewejollywellslayyou？"
　　"Myordersare，Iamtogivethenameofanybodywhointerferedwithmeonmypost，tothecorps，an’they’ddealwithhimafterdrill，accordin’tomartiallaw。"
　　"WhatabruteStalkyis！"saidBeetle。Theyneverdoubtedforamomentwhohaddevisedthatscheme。
　　"Youesteemyourselfagiddycenturion，don’tyou？"saidBeetle，listeningtothecrashandrattleofgroundedarmswithin。
　　"Myordcrsare，nottotalkexcepttoexplainmyorders——they’lllickmeifIdo。"
　　McTurklookedatBeetle。Thetwoshooktheirheadsandturnedaway。
　　"IswearStalky_is_agreatman，"saidBeetleafteralongpause。"Oneconsolationisthatthissortofsecret—societybiznaiwilldriveKingwild。"
　　IttroubledmanymorethanKing，butthemembersofthecorpsweremuterthanoysters。Foxy，beingboundbynovow，carriedhiswoestoKeyte。
　　"Inevercomeacrosssuchnonsenseinmylife。They’vetiledthelodge，innerandouterguard，allcomplete，andthentheygettowork，keenasmustard。"
　　"Butwhat’sitallfor？"askedtheex—TroopSergeant—Major。
　　"Tolearntheirdrill。Youneversawanythinglikeit。TheybeginafterI’vedismissed’em——practisin’tricks；butoutintotheopentheywill_not_come——notforeverso。The’olethingispre—posterous。Ifyou’reacadet—corps，_I_say，beacadet—corps，insteado’hidin’be’indlockeddoors。"
　　"Andwhatdotheauthoritiessayaboutit？"
　　"Thatbeatsmeagain。"TheSergeantspokefretfully。"Igotothe’Eadan’’egivesmenohelp。There’stimeswhenIthinkhe’smakin’funo’me。I’veneverbeenaVolunteer—sergeant，thankGod——butI’vealwayshadtheconsiderationtopity’em。
　　I’mglado’that。"
　　"I’dliketosee’em，"saidKeyte。"Fromyourstatements，Sergeant，Ican’tgetatwhatthey’reafter。"
　　"Don’taskme，Major！Askthatfreckle—facedyoungCorkran。He’stheirgeneralissimo。"
　　OnedoesnotrefuseawarriorofSobraon，ordenytheonlypastry—cookwithinbounds。SoKeytecame，byinvitation，leaninguponastick，tremulouswitholdage，tositinacornerandwatch。
　　"Theyshapewell。Theyshapeuncommonwell，"hewhisperedbetweenevolutions。
　　"Oh，thisisn’twhatthey’reafter。WaittillIdismiss’em。"
　　Atthe"break—off"theranksstoodfast。Perownefellout，facedthem，and，refreshinghismemorybyglimpsesatared—bound，metal—claspedbook，drilledthemfortenminutes。（ThisisthatPerownewhowasshotinEquatorialAfricabyhisownmen。）Ansellfollowedhim，andHoganfollowedAnsell。Allthreewereimplicitlyobeyed。ThenStalkylaidasidehisSnider，and，drawingalongbreath，favoredthecompanywithablastofwitheringinvective。
　　"’Old’ard，MusterCorkran。Thatain’tinanydrill，"criedFoxy。
　　"Allright，Sergeant。Youneverknowwhatyoumayhavetosaytoyourmen。——Forpity’ssake，trytostandupwithoutleanin’againsteachother，youblear—eyed，herrin’—guttedgutter—snipes。It’snopleasuretometocombyouout。Thatoughttohavebeendonebeforeyoucamehere，you——youmilitiabroom—stealers。"
　　"Theoldtouch——theoldtouch。_We_knowit，"saidKeyte，wipinghisrheumyeyes。
　　"Butwheredidhepickitup？"
　　"Fromhisfather——orhisuncle。Don’taskme！Halfof’emmusthavebeenbornwithinearshoto’thebarracks。"（Foxywasnotfarwronginhisguess。）"I’veheardmoreback—talksincethisvolunteerin’nonsensebeganthanI’veheardinayearintheservice。"
　　"There’sarear—rankmanlookin’asthoughhisbellywereinthepawn—shop。Yes，you，PrivateAnsell，"andStalkytongue—lashedthevictimforthreeminutes，ingrossandindetail。
　　"Hullo！"Hereturnedtohisnormaltone。"Firstbloodtome。Youflushed，Ansell。
　　Youwriggled。"
　　"Couldn’thelpflushing，"wastheanswer。"Don’tthinkIwriggled，though。"
　　"Well，it’syourturnnow。"Stalkyresumedhisplaceintheranks。
　　"Lord，Lord！It’sasgoodasaplay，"chuckledtheattentiveKeyte。Ansell，too，hadbeenblessedwithrelativesintheservice，andslowly，inalazydrawl——hisstylewasmorereflectivethanStalky’s——descendedtheabysmaldepthsofpersonality。
　　"Bloodtome！"heshoutedtriumphantly。"Youcouldn’tstandit，either。"Stalkywasarichred，andhisSnidershookvisibly。
　　"Ididn’tthinkIwould，"hesaid，strugglingforcomposure，"butafterabitIgotinnoendofabait。Curious，ain’tit？"
　　"Goodforthetemper，"saidtheslow—movingHogan，astheyreturnedarmstotherack。
　　"Didyouever？"saidFoxy，hopelessly，toKeyte。
　　"Idon’tknowmuchaboutvolunteers，butit’stherummiestshowIeversaw。Icanseewhatthey’regettin’at，though。Lord！howoftenI’vebeentoldoffan’dresseddowninmyday！Theyshapewell——extremelywelltheyshape。"
　　"IfIcouldget’emoutintotheopen，there’snothingIcouldn’tdowith’em，Major。Perhapswhentheuniformscomedown，they’llchangetheirmind。"
　　Indeeditwastimethatthecorpsmadesomeconcessiontothecuriosityoftheschool。Thricehadtheguardbeenmaltreatedandthricehadthecorpsdealtoutmartiallawtotheoffender。Theschoolraged。Whatwastheuse，theyasked，ofacadet—corpswhichnonemightsee？Mr。Kingcongratulatedthemontheirinvisibledefenders，andtheycouldnotparryhisthrusts。Foxywasgrowingsullenandrestive。Afewofthecorpsexpressedopenlydoubtsastothewisdomoftheircourse；andthequestionofuniformsloomedonthenearhorizon。Ifthesewereissued，theywouldbeforcedtowearthem。
　　But，assooftenhappensinthislife，thematterwassuddenlysettledfromwithout。
　　TheHeadhaddulyinformedtheCouncilthattheirrecommendationhadbeenactedupon，andthat，sofarashecouldlearn，thebuysweredrilling。Hesaidnothingofthetermsonwhichtheydrilled。Naturally，GeneralCollinsonwasdelightedandtoldhisfriends。Oneofhisfriendsrejoicedinafriend，aMemberofParliament——azealous，anintelligent，and，aboveall，apatrioticperson，anxioustodothemostgoodintheshortestpossibletime。Butwecannotanswer，alas！forthefriendsofourfriends。IfCollinson’sfriendhadintroducedhimtotheGeneral，thelatterwouldhavetakenhismeasureandsavedmuch。Butthefriendmerelyspokeofhisfriend；andsincenotwopeopleintheworldseeeyetoeye，thepictureconveyedtoCollinsonwasinaccurate。Moreover，themanwasanM。P。，animpeccableConservative，andtheGeneralhadtheEnglishsoldier’slurkingrespectforanymemberoftheCourtofLastAppeal。HewasgoingdownintotheWestcountry，tospreadlightinsomebody’sbenightedconstituency。Wouldn’titbeagoodideaif，armedwiththeGeneral’srecommendation，he，takingtheadmirableandnewlyestablishedcadet—corpsforhistext，spokeafewwords——"Justtalkedtotheboysalittle——eh？Youknowthekindofthingthatwouldbeacceptable；andhe’dbetheverymantodoit。Thesortoftalkthatboysunderstand，youknow。"
　　"Theydidn’ttalkto’emmuchinmytime，"saidtheGeneral，suspiciously。
　　"Ah！buttimeschange——withthespreadofeducationandsoon。Theboysofto—dayarethemenofto—morrow。Animpressioninyouthislikelytobepermanent。Andinthesetimes，youknow，withthecountrygoingtothedogs？"
　　"You’requiteright。"TheislandwasthenenteringonfiveyearsofMr。Gladstone’srule；andtheGeneraldidnotlikewhathehadseenofit。HewouldcertainlywritetotheHead，foritwasbeyondquestionthattheboysofto—daymadethemenofto—morrow。That，ifhemightsayso，wasuncommonlywellput。
　　Inreply，theHeadstatedthatheshouldbedelightedtowelcomeMr。RaymondMartin，M。P。，ofwhomhehadheardsomuch；toputhimupforthenight，andtoallowhimtoaddresstheschoolonanysubjectthatheconceivedwouldinterestthem。IfMr。
　　MartinhadnotyetfacedanaudienceofthisparticularclassofBritishyouth，theHeadhadnodoubtthathewouldfinditaninterestingexperience。
　　"AndIdon’tthinkIamveryfarwronginthatlast，"heconfidedtotheReverendJohn。"DoyouhappentoknowanythingofoneRaymondMartin？"
　　"IwasatCollegewithamanofthatname，"thechaplainreplied。"Hewaswithoutformandvoid，sofarasIremember，butdesperatelyearnest。"
　　"HewilladdresstheColl。on’Patriotism’nextSaturday。"
　　"IfthereisonethingourboysdetestmorethananotheritishavingtheirSaturdayeveningsbrokeninto。Patriotismhasnochancebeside’brewing。’"
　　"Norarteither。D’yourememberour’EveningwithShakespeare’？"
　　TheHead’seyestwinkled。"Orthehumorousgentlemanwiththemagiclantern？"
　　"An’whothedooceisthisRaymondMartin，M。P。？"demandedBeetle，whenhereadthenoticeofthelectureinthecorridor。"WhydothebrutesalwaysturnuponaSaturday？"
　　"Ouh！Reomeo，Reomeo。WhereforeartthouReomeo？"saidMcTurkoverhisshoulder，quotingtheShakespeareartisteoflastterm。"Well，hewon’tbeasbadas_her_，I
　　hope。Stalky，areyouproperlypatriotic？Becauseifyouain’t，thischap’sgoin’tomakeyou。"
　　"Hopehewon’ttakeupthewholeoftheevening。Isupposewe’vegottolistentohim。"
　　"Wouldn’tmisshimfortheworld，"saidMcTurk。"AlotofchapsthoughtthatRomeo—Romeowomanwasabore。_I_didn’t。Ilikedher！’Memberwhenshebegantohiccoughinthemiddleofit？P’rapshe’llhiccough。WhoevergetsintotheGymfirst，bagsseatsfortheothertwo。"
　　Therewasnonervousness，butabriskandcheeryaffabilityaboutMr。RaymondMartin，M。P。，ashedroveup，watchedbymanyeyes，totheHead’shouse。
　　"Looksabitofabargee，"wasMcTurk’scomment。"Shouldn’tbesurprisedifhewasaRadical。Herowedthedriveraboutthefare。Iheardhim。"
　　"Thatwashisgiddypatriotism，"Beetleexplained。Afterteatheyjoinedtherushforseats，securedaprivateandinvisiblecorner，andbegantocriticise。Everygas—jetwaslit。OnthelittledaisatthefarendstoodtheHead’sofficialdesk，whenceMr。Martinwoulddiscourse，andaringofchairsforthemasters。
　　EnteredthenFoxy，withofficialport，andleanedsomethinglikeaclothrolledroundastickagainstthedesk。Nooneinauthoritywasyetpresent，sotheschoolapplauded，crying："What’sthat，Foxy？Whatareyoustealin’thegentleman’sbrollyfor？——Wedon’tbirchhere。Wecane！Takeawaythatbauble！——Numberofffromtheright"——andsoforth，tilltheentryoftheHeadandthemastersendedalldemonstrations。
　　"Onegoodjob——theCommon—roomhatethisasmuchaswedo。WatchKingwrigglin’togetoutofthedraft。"
　　"Where’stheRaymondiferousMartin？Punctuality，mybeloved’earers，istheimageo’
　　war—"
　　"Shutup。Here’sthegiddyDook。Golly，whatadewlap！"Mr。Martin，ineveningdress，wasundeniablythroaty——atall，generouslydesigned，pink—and—whiteman。
　　Still，Beetleneednothavebeencoarse。
　　"Lookathisbackwhilehe’stalkin’totheHead。Vilebadformtoturnyourbackontheaudience！He’saPhilistine——aBopper——aJebusite——an’aHivite。"McTurkleanedbackandsniffedcontemptuously。
　　Inafewcolorlesswords，theHeadintroducedthespeakerandsatdownamidapplause。WhenMr。Martintooktheapplausetohimself，theynaturallyapplaudedmorethanever。Itwassometimebeforebecouldbegin。Hehadnoknowledgeoftheschool——itstraditionorheritage。Hedidnotknowthatthelastcensusshowedthateightypercent。oftheboyshadbeenbornabroad——incamp，cantonment，oruponthehighseas；orthatseventy—fivepercent。weresonsofofficersinoneorotheroftheservices——Willoughbys，Paulets，DeCastros，Maynes，Randalls，aftertheirkind——lookingtofollowtheirfathers’profession。TheHeadmighthavetoldhimthis，andmuchmore；but，afteranhour—longdinnerinhiscompany，theHeaddecidedtosaynothingwhatever。Mr。RaymondMartinseemedtoknowsomuchalready。
　　Heplungedintohisspeechwithalong—drawn，rasping"Well，boys，"that，thoughtheywerenotconsciousofit，seteveryyoungnerveajar。Hesupposedtheyknew——
　　hey？——whathehadcomedownfor？Itwasnotoftenthathehadanopportunitytotalktoboys。Hesupposedthatboyswereverymuchthesamekindofpersons——somepeoplethoughtthemratherfunnypersons——astheyhadbeeninhisyouth。
　　"Thisman，"saidMcTurk，withconviction，"is_the_GadareneSwine。"
　　Buttheymustrememberthattheywouldnotalwaysbeboys。Theywouldgrowupintomen，becausetheboysofto—daymadethemenofto—morrow，anduponthemenofto—morrowthefairfameoftheirgloriousnativelanddepended。
　　"Ifthisgoeson，mybeloved’earers，itwillbemypainfuldutytorotthisbargee。"Stalkydrewalongbreaththroughhisnose。
　　"Can’tdothat，"saidMcTurk。"Heain’tchargin’anythingforhisRomeo。"
　　Andsotheyoughttothinkofthedutiesandresponsibilitiesofthelifethatwasopeningbeforethem。Lifewasnotall——heenumeratedafewgames，and，thatnothingmightbelackingtothesweepandimpactofhisfall，added"marbles。""Yes，lifewasnot，"hesaid，"allmarbles。"
　　Therewasonetensegasp——amongthejuniorsalmostashriek——ofquiveringhorror，hewasaheathen——anoutcast———beyondtheextremestpaleoftoleration——self—damnedbeforeallmen。Stalkybowedhisheadinhishands。McTurk，withabrightandcheerfuleye，drankineveryword，andBeetlenoddedsolemnapproval。
　　Someofthem，doubtless，expectedinafewyearstohavethehonorofacommissionfromtheQueen，andtowearasword。Now，hehimselfhadhadsomeexperienceoftheseduties，asaMajorinavolunteerregiment，andhewasgladtolearnthattheyhadestablishedavolunteercorpsintheirmidst。Theestablishmentofsuchanestablishmentconducedtoaproperandhealthyspirit，which，iffostered，wouldbeofgreatbenefittothelandtheylovedandweresoproudtobelongto。Someofthosenowpresentexpected，hehadnodoubt——someofthemanxiouslylookedforwardtoleadingtheirmenagainstthebulletsofEngland’sfoes；toconfrontingthestrickenfieldinalltheprideoftheiryouthfulmanhood。
　　Nowthereserveofaboyistenfolddeeperthanthereserveofamaid，shebeingmadeforoneendonlybyblindNature，butmanforseveral。Withalargeandhealthyhand，hetoredowntheseveils，andtrampledthemunderthewell—intentionedfeetofeloquence。Inaraucousvoice，hecriedaloudlittlematters，likethehopeofHonorandthedreamofGlory，thatboysdonotdiscussevenwiththeirmostintimateequals，cheerfullyassumingthat，tillhespoke，theyhadneverconsideredthesepossibilities。Hepointedthemtoshininggoals，withfingerswhichsmudgedoutallradianceonallhorizons。Heprofanedthemostsecretplacesoftheirsoulswithoutcriesandgesticulations，hebadethemconsiderthedeedsoftheirancestorsinsuchafashionthattheywereflushedtotheirtinglingears。Someofthem——therendingvoicecutafrozenstillness——mighthavehadrelativeswhoperishedindefenceoftheircountry。Theythought，notafewofthem，ofanoldswordinapassage，oraboveabreakfast—roomtable，seenandfingeredbystealthsincetheycouldwalk。Headjuredthemtoemulatethoseillustriousexamples；andtheylookedallwaysintheirextremediscomfort。
　　Theiryearsforbadethemeventoshapetheirthoughtsclearlytothemselves。Theyfeltsavagelythattheywerebeingoutragedbyafatmanwhoconsideredmarblesagame。
　　Andsoheworkedtowardshisperoration——which，bytheway，heusedlaterwithoverwhelmingsuccessatameetingofelectors——whiletheysat，flushedanduneasy，insourdisgust。Aftermany，manywords，hereachedforthecloth—wrappedstickandthrustonehandinhisbosom。This——thiswastheconcretesymboloftheirland——worthyofallhonorandreverence！Letnoboylookonthisflagwhodidnotpurposetoworthilyaddtoitsimperishablelustre。Heshookitbeforethem——alargecalicoUnionJack，staringinallthreecolors，andwaitedforthethunderofapplausethatshouldcrownhiseffort。
　　Theylookedinsilence。Theyhadcertainlyseenthethingbefore——downatthecoastguardstation，orthroughatelescope，half—masthighwhenabrigwentashoreonBrauntonSands；abovetheroofoftheGolf—club，andinKeyte’swindow，whereacertainkindofstripedsweetmeatboreitinpaperoneachbox。ButtheCollegeneverdisplayedit；itwasnopartoftheschemeoftheirlives；theHeadhadneveralludedtoit；theirfathershadnotdeclaredituntothem。Itwasamattershutup，sacredandapart。What，inthenameofeverythingcaddish，washedrivingat，whowavedthathorrorbeforetheireyes？Happythought！Perhapshewasdrunk。
　　TheHeadsavedthesituationbyrisingswiftlytoproposeavoteofthanks，andathisfirstmotion，theschoolclappedfuriously，fromasenseofrelief。
　　"AndIamsure，"heconcluded，thegaslightfullonhisface，"thatyouwillalljoinmeinaveryheartyvoteofthankstoMr。RaymondMartinforthemostenjoyableaddresshehasgivenus。"
　　Tothisdayweshallneverknowtherightsofthecase。TheHeadvowsthathedidnosuchthing；orthat，ifhedid，itmusthavebeensomethinginhiseye；butthosewhowerepresentarepersuadedthathewinked，once，openlyandsolemnly，aftertheword"enjoyable。"Mr。RaymondMartingothisapplausefulltale。Ashesaid，"Withoutvanity，Ithinkmyfewwordswenttotheirhearts。Ineverknewboyscouldcheerlikethat。"
　　Heleftastheprayer—bellrang，andtheboyslinedupagainstthewall。Theflaglaystillunrolledonthedesk，Foxyregardingitwithpride，forhehadbeentouchedtothequickbyMr。Martin’seloquence。TheHeadandtheCommon—room，standingbackonthedais，couldnotseetheglaringoffence，butaprefectlefttheline，rolleditupswiftly，andasswiftlytosseditintoagloveandfoillocker。
　　Then，asthoughhehadtouchedaspring，brokeoutthelowmurmurofcontent，changingtoquick—volleyedhand—clapping。
　　Theydiscussedthespeechinthedormitories。Therewasnotonedissentientvoice。
　　Mr。RaymondMartin，beyondquestion，wasborninagutter，andbredinaboard—school，wheretheyplayedmarbles。Hewasfurther（Igivethebaresthandfulfromgreatstore）aFlopshusCad，anOutrageousStinker，aJelly—belliedFlag—flapper（thiswasStalky’scontribution），andseveralotherthingswhichitisnotseemlytoputdown。
　　Thevolunteercadet—corpsfellinnextMonday，depressedly，withafaceofshame。
　　Eventhen，judicioussilencemighthaveturnedthecorner。
　　SaidFoxy："Afterafinespeechlikewhatyou’eardnightbeforelast，yououghttotake’oldofyourdrillwith_re_—newedactivity。Idon’tseehowyoucanavoidcomin’outan’marchin’intheopennow。"
　　"Can’twegetoutofit，then，Foxy？"Stalky’sfineoldsilkytoneshouldhavewarnedhim。
　　"No，notwithhisgivingtheflagsogenerously。Hetoldmebeforeheleftthismorningthattherewasnoobjectiontothecorpsusin’itastheirown。It’sahandsomeflag。"
　　Stalkyreturnedhisrifletotherackindeadsilence，andfellout。HisexamplewasfollowedbyHoganandAnsell。Perownehesitated。"Lookhere，oughtn’twe——？"hebegan。
　　"I’llgetitoutofthelockerinaminute，"saidtheSergeant，hisbackturned。
　　"Thenwecan——"
　　"Comeon！"shoutedStalky。"Whatthedevilareyouwaitingfor？Dismiss！Breakoff。"
　　"Why——whatthe——wherethe——？"
　　TherattleofSniders，slammedintotherack，drownedhisvoice，asboyafterboyfellout。
　　"I——Idon’tknowthatIshan’thavetoreportthistotheHead，"hestammered。
　　"Report，then，andbedamnedtoyou，"criedStalky，whitetothelips，andranout。
　　"Rummything！"saidBeetletoMcTurk。"Iwasinthestudy，doin’asimplylovelypoemabouttheJelly—BelliedFlag—Flapper，an’Stalkycamein，an’Isaid’Hullo！’
　　an’hecursedmelikeabargee，andthenhebegantoblublikeanything。Shovedhisheadonthetableandhowled。Hadn’twebetterdosomething？"
　　McTurkwastroubled。"P’rapshe’ssmashedhimselfupsomehow。"
　　Theyfoundhim，withverybrighteyes，whistlingbetweenhisteeth。
　　"DidItakeyouin，Beetle？IthoughtIwould。Wasn’titagooddraw？Didn’tyouthinkIwasblubbin’？Didn’tIdoitwell？Oh，youfatoldass！"AndhebegantopullBeetle’searsandchecks，inthefashionthatwascalled"milking。"
　　"Iknewyouwereblubbin’，"Beetlereplied，composedly。"Whyaren’tyouatdrill？"
　　"Drill！Whatdrill？"
　　"Don’ttrytobeacleverfool。DrillintheGym。"
　　"’Causethereisn’tany。Thevolunteercadet—corpsisbrokeup——disbanded——dead——putrid——corrupt———stinkin’。An’ifyoulookatmelikethat，Beetle，I’llslayyoutoo……Oh，yes，an’I’mgoin’tobereportedtotheHeadforswearin’。"
　　THELASTTERM。
　　Itwaswithinafewdaysoftheholidays，theterm—endexaminations，and，moreimportantstill，theissueoftheCollegepaperwhichBeetleedited。HehadbeencajoledintothatofficebytheblandishmentsofStalkyandMcTurkandtheextremerigorofstudylaw。Onceinstalled，hediscovered，asothershavedonebeforehim，thathisdutywastodotheworkwhilehisfriendscriticized。Stalkychristeneditthe"SwillingfordPatriot，"inpiousmemoryofSponge——andMcTurkcomparedtheoutputunfavorablywithRuskinandDeQuincey。OnlytheHeadtookaninterestinthepublication，andhismethodswerepeculiar。HegaveBeetletherunofhisbrown—bound，tobacco—scentedlibrary；prohibitingnothing，recommendingnothing。