Havingregardtothephenomenawearecompelledtoadmit，Ithinkitillogicaltodisbelieveanythingweareunabletodisprove。"
　　"Formypart，"remarkedMacShaughnassy，"IcanbelieveintheabilityofourspiritfriendstogivethequaintentertainmentscreditedtothemmucheasierthanIcanintheirdesiretodoso。"
　　"Youmean，"addedJephson，"thatyoucannotunderstandwhyaspirit，notcompelledaswearebytheexigenciesofsociety，shouldcaretospenditseveningscarryingonalabouredandchildishconversationwitharoomfullofabnormallyuninterestingpeople。"
　　"ThatispreciselywhatIcannotunderstand，"MacShaughnassyagreed。
　　"NorI，either，"saidJephson。"ButIwasthinkingofsomethingverydifferentaltogether。Supposeamandiedwiththedearestwishofhisheartunfulfilled，doyoubelievethathisspiritmighthavepowertoreturntoearthandcompletetheinterruptedwork？"
　　"Well，"answeredMacShaughnassy，"ifoneadmitsthepossibilityofspiritsretaininganyinterestintheaffairsofthisworldatall，itiscertainlymorereasonabletoimaginethemengageduponatasksuchasyousuggest，thantobelievethattheyoccupythemselveswiththeperformanceofmeredrawing—roomtricks。Butwhatareyouleadingupto？"
　　"Why，tothis，"repliedJephson，seatinghimselfstraddle—leggedacrosshischair，andleaninghisarmsupontheback。"IwastoldastorythismorningatthehospitalbyanoldFrenchdoctor。Theactualfactsarefewandsimple；allthatisknowncanbereadintheParispolicerecordsofsixty—twoyearsago。
　　"Themostimportantpartofthecase，however，isthepartthatisnotknown，andthatneverwillbeknown。
　　"Thestorybeginswithagreatwrongdonebyonemanuntoanotherman。WhatthewrongwasIdonotknow。Iaminclinedtothink，however，itwasconnectedwithawoman。Ithinkthat，becausehewhohadbeenwrongedhatedhimwhohadwrongedhimwithahatesuchasdoesnotoftenburninaman’sbrain，unlessitbefannedbythememoryofawoman’sbreath。
　　"Stillthatisonlyconjecture，andthepointisimmaterial。Themanwhohaddonethewrongfled，andtheothermanfollowedhim。Itbecameapoint—to—pointrace，thefirstmanhavingtheadvantageofaday’sstart。Thecoursewasthewholeworld，andthestakeswerethefirstman’slife。
　　"Travellerswerefewandfarbetweeninthosedays，andthismadethetraileasytofollow。Thefirstman，neverknowinghowfarorhowneartheotherwasbehindhim，andhopingnowandagainthathemighthavebaffledhim，wouldrestforawhile。Thesecondman，knowingalwaysjusthowfarthefirstonewasbeforehim，neverpaused，andthuseachdaythemanwhowasspurredbyHatedrewnearertothemanwhowasspurredbyFear。
　　"Atthistowntheanswertothenever—variedquestionwouldbe：—
　　"’Atseveno’clocklastevening，M’sieur。’
　　"’Seven——ah；eighteenhours。Givemesomethingtoeat，quick，whilethehorsesarebeingputto。’
　　"Atthenextthecalculationwouldbesixteenhours。
　　"Passingalonelychalet，Monsieurputshisheadoutofthewindow：—
　　"’Howlongsinceacarriagepassedthisway，withatall，fairmaninside？’
　　"’Suchaonepassedearlythismorning，M’sieur。’
　　"’Thanks，driveon，ahundredfrancsapieceifyouarethroughthepassbeforedaybreak。’
　　"’Andwhatfordeadhorses，M’sieur？’
　　"’Twicetheirvaluewhenliving。’
　　"OnedaythemanwhowasriddenbyFearlookedup，andsawbeforehimtheopendoorofacathedral，and，passingin，kneltdownandprayed。Heprayedlongandfervently，formen，whentheyareinsorestraits，clutcheagerlyatthestrawsoffaith。Heprayedthathemightbeforgivenhissin，and，moreimportantstill，thathemightbepardonedtheconsequencesofhissin，andbedeliveredfromhisadversary；andafewchairsfromhim，facinghim，knelthisenemy，prayingalso。
　　"Butthesecondman’sprayer，beingathanksgivingmerely，wasshort，sothatwhenthefirstmanraisedhiseyes，hesawthefaceofhisenemygazingathimacrossthechair—tops，withamockingsmileuponit。
　　"Hemadenoattempttorise，butremainedkneeling，fascinatedbythelookofjoythatshoneoutoftheotherman’seyes。Andtheothermanmovedthehigh—backedchairsonebyone，andcametowardshimsoftly。
　　"Then，justasthemanwhohadbeenwrongedstoodbesidethemanwhohadwrongedhim，fullofgladnessthathisopportunityhadcome，thereburstfromthecathedraltowerasuddenclashofbells，andtheman，whoseopportunityhadcome，brokehisheartandfellbackdead，withthatmockingsmilestillplayingroundhismouth。
　　"Andsohelaythere。
　　’Thenthemanwhohaddonethewrongroseupandpassedout，praisingGod。
　　"Whatbecameofthebodyoftheothermanisnotknown。Itwasthebodyofastrangerwhohaddiedsuddenlyinthecathedral。Therewasnonetoidentifyit，nonetoclaimit。
　　"Yearspassedaway，andthesurvivorinthetragedybecameaworthyandusefulcitizen，andanotedmanofscience。
　　"Inhislaboratoryweremanyobjectsnecessarytohiminhisresearches，and，prominentamongthem，stoodinacertaincornerahumanskeleton。Itwasaveryoldandmuch—mendedskeleton，andonedaythelong—expectedendarrived，andittumbledtopieces。
　　"Thusitbecamenecessarytopurchaseanother。
　　"Themanofsciencevisitedadealerhewellknew——alittleparchment—facedoldmanwhokeptadingyshop，wherenothingwaseversold，withintheshadowofthetowersofNotreDame。
　　"Thelittleparchment—facedoldmanhadjusttheverythingthatMonsieurwanted——asingularlyfineandwell—proportioned’study。’
　　ItshouldbesentroundandsetupinMonsieur’slaboratorythatveryafternoon。
　　"Thedealerwasasgoodashisword。WhenMonsieurenteredhislaboratorythatevening，thethingwasinitsplace。
　　"Monsieurseatedhimselfinhishigh—backedchair，andtriedtocollecthisthoughts。ButMonsieur’sthoughtswereunruly，andinclinedtowander，andtowanderalwaysinonedirection。
　　"Monsieuropenedalargevolumeandcommencedtoread。Hereadofamanwhohadwrongedanotherandfledfromhim，theothermanfollowing。Findinghimselfreadingthis，heclosedthebookangrily，andwentandstoodbythewindowandlookedout。Hesawbeforehimthesun—piercednaveofagreatcathedral，andonthestoneslayadeadmanwithamockingsmileuponhisface。
　　"Cursinghimselfforafool，heturnedawaywithalaugh。Buthislaughwasshort—lived，foritseemedtohimthatsomethingelseintheroomwaslaughingalso。Strucksuddenlystill，withhisfeetgluedtotheground，hestoodlisteningforawhile：thensoughtwithstartingeyesthecornerfromwherethesoundhadseemedtocome。Butthewhitethingstandingtherewasonlygrinning。
　　"Monsieurwipedthedampsweatfromhisheadandhands，andstoleout。
　　"Foracoupleofdayshedidnotentertheroomagain。Onthethird，tellinghimselfthathisfearswerethoseofahystericalgirl，heopenedthedoorandwentin。Toshamehimself，hetookhislampinhishand，andcrossingovertothefarcornerwheretheskeletonstood，examinedit。Asetofbonesboughtforthreehundredfrancs。Washeachild，tobescaredbysuchabogey！
　　"Heheldhislampupinfrontofthething’sgrinninghead。Theflameofthelampflickeredasthoughafaintbreathhadpassedoverit。
　　"Themanexplainedthistohimselfbysayingthatthewallsofthehousewereoldandcracked，andthatthewindmightcreepinanywhere。Herepeatedthisexplanationtohimselfasherecrossedtheroom，walkingbackwards，withhiseyesfixedonthething。Whenhereachedhisdesk，hesatdownandgrippedthearmsofhischairtillhisfingersturnedwhite。
　　"Hetriedtowork，buttheemptysocketsinthatgrinningheadseemedtobedrawinghimtowardsthem。Heroseandbattledwithhisinclinationtoflyscreamingfromtheroom。Glancingfearfullyabouthim，hiseyefelluponahighscreen，standingbeforethedoor。Hedraggeditforward，andplaceditbetweenhimselfandthething，sothathecouldnotseeit——noritseehim。Thenhesatdownagaintohiswork。Forawhileheforcedhimselftolookatthebookinfrontofhim，butatlast，unabletocontrolhimselfanylonger，hesufferedhiseyestofollowtheirownbent。
　　"Itmayhavebeenanhallucination。Hemayhaveaccidentallyplacedthescreensoastofavoursuchanillusion。Butwhathesawwasabonyhandcomingroundthecornerofthescreen，and，withacry，hefelltothefloorinaswoon。
　　"Thepeopleofthehousecamerunningin，andliftinghimup，carriedhimout，andlaidhimuponhisbed。Assoonasherecovered，hisfirstquestionwas，wherehadtheyfoundthething——
　　wherewasitwhentheyenteredtheroom？andwhentheytoldhimtheyhadseenitstandingwhereitalwaysstood，andhadgonedownintotheroomtolookagain，becauseofhisfrenziedentreaties，andreturnedtryingtohidetheirsmiles，helistenedtotheirtalkaboutoverwork，andthenecessityforchangeandrest，andsaidtheymightdowithhimastheywould。
　　"Soformanymonthsthelaboratorydoorremainedlocked。Thentherecameachillautumneveningwhenthemanofscienceopeneditagain，andcloseditbehindhim。
　　"Helightedhislamp，andgatheredhisinstrumentsandbooksaroundhim，andsatdownbeforetheminhishigh—backedchair。Andtheoldterrorreturnedtohim。
　　"Butthistimehemeanttoconquerhimself。Hisnerveswerestrongernow，andhisbrainclearer；hewouldfighthisunreasoningfear。Hecrossedtothedoorandlockedhimselfin，andflungthekeytotheotherendoftheroom，whereitfellamongjarsandbottleswithanechoingclatter。
　　"Lateron，hisoldhousekeeper，goingherfinalround，tappedathisdoorandwishedhimgood—night，aswashercustom。Shereceivednoresponse，atfirst，and，growingnervous，tappedlouderandcalledagain；andatlengthananswering’good—night’camebacktoher。
　　"Shethoughtlittleaboutitatthetime，butafterwardssherememberedthatthevoicethathadrepliedtoherhadbeenstrangelygratingandmechanical。Tryingtodescribeit，shelikenedittosuchavoiceasshewouldimaginecomingfromastatue。
　　"Nextmorninghisdoorremainedstilllocked。Itwasnounusualthingforhimtoworkallnightandfarintothenextday，sonoonethoughttobesurprised。When，however，eveningcame，andyethedidnotappear，hisservantsgatheredoutsidetheroomandwhispered，rememberingwhathadhappenedoncebefore。
　　"Theylistened，butcouldhearnosound。Theyshookthedoorandcalledtohim，thenbeatwiththeirfistsuponthewoodenpanels。
　　Butstillnosoundcamefromtheroom。
　　"Becomingalarmed，theydecidedtoburstopenthedoor，and，aftermanyblows，itgaveway，andtheycrowdedin。
　　Hesatboltuprightinhishigh—backedchair。Theythoughtatfirsthehaddiedinhissleep。Butwhentheydrewnearerandthelightfelluponhim，theysawthelividmarksofbonyfingersroundhisthroat；andinhiseyestherewasaterrorsuchasisnotoftenseeninhumaneyes。"
　　Brownwasthefirsttobreakthesilencethatfollowed。HeaskedmeifIhadanybrandyonboard。Hesaidhefeltheshouldlikejustanipofbrandybeforegoingtobed。ThatisoneofthechiefcharmsofJephson’sstories：theyalwaysmakeyoufeelyouwantalittlebrandy。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　"Cats，"remarkedJephsontome，oneafternoon，aswesatinthepuntdiscussingtheplotofournovel，"catsareanimalsforwhomI
　　entertainaverygreatrespect。CatsandNonconformistsseemtometheonlythingsinthisworldpossessedofapracticableworkingconscience。Watchacatdoingsomethingmeanandwrong——ifeveronegivesyouthechance；noticehowanxioussheisthatnobodyshouldseeherdoingit；andhowprompt，ifdetected，topretendthatshewasnotdoingit——thatshewasnoteventhinkingofdoingit——that，asamatteroffact，shewasjustabouttodosomethingelse，quitedifferent。Youmightalmostthinktheyhadasoul。
　　"OnlythismorningIwaswatchingthattortoise—shellofyoursonthehouseboat。Shewascreepingalongtheroof，behindtheflower—
　　boxes，stalkingayoungthrushthathadpercheduponacoilofrope。
　　Murdergleamedfromhereye，assassinationlurkedineverytwitchingmuscleofherbody。Asshecrouchedtospring，Fate，foroncefavouringtheweak，directedherattentiontomyself，andshebecame，forthefirsttime，awareofmypresence。ItacteduponherasaheavenlyvisionuponaBiblicalcriminal。Inaninstantshewasachangedbeing。Thewickedbeast，goingaboutseekingwhomitmightdevour，hadvanished。Initsplacesatalong—tailed，furryangel，gazingupintotheskywithanexpressionthatwasone—thirdinnocenceandtwo—thirdsadmirationofthebeautiesofnature。Whatwasshedoingthere，didIwanttoknow？Why，couldInotsee，playingwithabitofearth。SurelyIwasnotsoevil—mindedastoimagineshewantedtokillthatdearlittlebird——Godblessit。
　　"ThennoteanoldTom，slinkinghomeintheearlymorning，afteranightspentonaroofofbadrepute。Canyoupicturetoyourselfalivingcreaturelesseagertoattractattention？’Dearme，’youcanallbuthearitsayingtoitself，’I’dnoideaitwassolate；howtimedoesgowhenoneisenjoyingoneself。IdohopeIshan’tmeetanyoneIknow——veryawkward，it’sbeingsolight。’
　　"Inthedistanceitseesapoliceman，andstopssuddenlywithintheshelterofashadow。’Nowwhat’shedoingthere，’itsays，’andclosetoourdoortoo？Ican’tgoinwhilehe’shangingabout。
　　He’ssuretoseeandrecogniseme；andhe’sjustthesortofmantotalktotheservants。’
　　"Ithidesitselfbehindapostandwaits，peepingcautiouslyroundthecornerfromtimetotime。Thepoliceman，however，seemstohavetakenuphisresidenceatthatparticularspot，andthecatbecomesworriedandexcited。
　　"’What’sthematterwiththefool？’itmuttersindignantly；’ishedead？Whydon’themoveon，he’salwaystellingotherpeopleto。
　　Stupidass。’
　　"Justthenafar—offcryof’milk’isheard，andthecatstartsupinanagonyofalarm。’GreatScott，harkatthat！Why，everybodywillbedownbeforeIgetin。Well，Ican’thelpit。Imustchanceit。’
　　"Heglancesroundathimself，andhesitates。’Iwouldn’tmindifI
　　didn’tlooksodirtyanduntidy，’hemuses；’peoplearesopronetothinkevilinthisworld。’
　　"’Ah，well，’headds，givinghimselfashake，’there’snothingelseforit，ImustputmytrustinProvidence，it’spulledmethroughbefore：heregoes。’
　　"Heassumesanaspectofchastenedsorrow，andtrotsalongwithademureandsaddenedstep。ItisevidenthewishestoconveytheideathathehasbeenoutallnightonworkconnectedwiththeVigilanceAssociation，andisnowreturninghomesickatheartbecauseofthesightsthathehasseen。
　　"Hesquirmsin，unnoticed，throughawindow，andhasjusttimetogivehimselfahurriedlickdownbeforehehearsthecook’ssteponthestairs。Whensheentersthekitchenheiscurleduponthehearthrug，fastasleep。Theopeningoftheshuttersawakeshim。Herisesandcomesforward，yawningandstretchinghimself。
　　"’Dearme，isitmorning，then？’hesaysdrowsily。’Heigh—ho！I’vehadsuchalovelysleep，cook；andsuchabeautifuldreamaboutpoormother。’
　　"Cats！doyoucallthem？Why，theyareChristiansineverythingexceptthenumberoflegs。"
　　"Theycertainlyare，"Iresponded，"wonderfullycunninglittleanimals，anditisnotbytheirmoralandreligiousinstinctsalonethattheyaresocloselylinkedtoman；themarvellousabilitytheydisplayintakingcareof’numberone’isworthyofthehumanraceitself。Somefriendsofminehadacat，abigblackTom：theyhavegothalfofhimstill。Theyhadrearedhimfromakitten，and，intheirhomely，undemonstrativeway，theylikedhim。Therewasnothing，however，approachingpassiononeitherside。
　　"OnedayaChinchillacametoliveintheneighbourhood，underthechargeofanelderlyspinster，andthetwocatsmetatagardenwallparty。
　　"’Whatsortofdiggingshaveyougot？’askedtheChinchilla。
　　"’Oh，prettyfair。’
　　"’Nicepeople？’
　　"’Yes，niceenough——aspeoplego。’
　　"’Prettywilling？Lookafteryouwell，andallthatsortofthing？’
　　"’Yes——ohyes。I’venofaulttofindwiththem。’
　　"’What’sthevictualslike？’
　　"’Oh，theusualthing，youknow，bonesandscraps，andabitofdog—
　　biscuitnowandthenforachange。’
　　"’Bonesanddog—biscuits！Doyoumeantosayyoueatbones？’
　　"’Yes，whenIcanget’em。Why，what’swrongaboutthem？’
　　"’ShadeofEgyptianIsis，bonesanddog—biscuits！Don’tyouevergetanyspringchickens，orasardine，oralambcutlet？’
　　"’Chickens！Sardines！Whatareyoutalkingabout？Whataresardines？’
　　"’Whataresardines！Oh，mydearchild（theChinchillawasaladycat，andalwayscalledgentlemenfriendsalittleolderthanherself’dearchild’），thesepeopleofyoursaretreatingyoujustshamefully。Come，sitdownandtellmeallaboutit。Whatdotheygiveyoutosleepon？’
　　"’Thefloor。’
　　"’Ithoughtso；andskimmilkandwatertodrink，Isuppose？’
　　"’ItISabitthin。’
　　"’Icanquiteimagineit。Youmustleavethesepeople，mydear，atonce。’
　　"’ButwhereamItogoto？’
　　"’Anywhere。’
　　"’Butwho’lltakemein？’
　　"’Anybody，ifyougotherightwaytowork。HowmanytimesdoyouthinkI’vechangedmypeople？Seven！——andbetteredmyselfoneachoccasion。Why，doyouknowwhereIwasborn？Inapig—sty。Therewerethreeofus，motherandIandmylittlebrother。Motherwouldleaveuseveryevening，returninggenerallyjustasitwasgettinglight。Onemorningshedidnotcomeback。Wewaitedandwaited，butthedaypassedonandshedidnotreturn，andwegrewhungrierandhungrier，andatlastwelaydown，sidebyside，andcriedourselvestosleep。
　　"’Intheevening，peepingthroughaholeinthedoor，wesawhercomingacrossthefield。Shewascrawlingveryslowly，withherbodyclosedownagainsttheground。Wecalledtoher，andsheansweredwithalow"crroo"；butshedidnothastenherpace。
　　"’Shecreptinandrolledoveronherside，andwerantoher，forwewerealmoststarving。Welaylonguponherbreasts，andshelickedusoverandover。
　　"’Idroppedasleepuponher，andinthenightIawoke，feelingcold。
　　Icreptclosertoher，butthatonlymademecolderstill，andshewaswetandclammywithadarkmoisturethatwasoozingfromherside。Ididnotknowwhatitwasatthattime，butIhavelearntsince。
　　"’ThatwaswhenIcouldhardlyhavebeenfourweeksold，andfromthatdaytothisI’velookedaftermyself：you’vegottodothatinthisworld，mydear。Forawhile，Iandmybrotherlivedoninthatstyandkeptourselves。Itwasagrimstruggleatfirst，twobabiesfightingforlife；butwepulledthrough。Attheendofaboutthreemonths，wanderingfartherfromhomethanusual，Icameuponacottage，standinginthefields。Itlookedwarmandcosythroughtheopendoor，andIwentin：Ihavealwaysbeenblessedwithplentyofnerve。Somechildrenwereplayingroundthefire，andtheywelcomedmeandmademuchofme。Itwasanewsensationtome，andIstayedthere。Ithoughttheplaceapalaceatthetime。
　　"’Imighthavegoneonthinkingsoifithadnotbeenthat，passingthroughthevillageoneday，Ihappenedtocatchsightofaroombehindashop。Therewasacarpetonthefloor，andarugbeforethefire。Ihadneverknowntillthenthatthereweresuchluxuriesintheworld。Ideterminedtomakethatshopmyhome，andIdidso。’
　　"’Howdidyoumanageit？’askedtheblackcat，whowasgrowinginterested。
　　"’Bythesimpleprocessofwalkinginandsittingdown。Mydearchild，cheek’sthe"Opensesame"toeverydoor。Thecatthatworksharddiesofstarvation，thecatthathasbrainsiskickeddownstairsforafool，andthecatthathasvirtueisdrownedforascamp；butthecatthathascheeksleepsonavelvetcushionanddinesoncreamandhorseflesh。Imarchedstraightinandrubbedmyselfagainsttheoldman’slegs。Heandhiswifewerequitetakenwithwhattheycalledmy"trustfulness，"andadoptedmewithenthusiasm。StrollingaboutthefieldsofaneveningIoftenusedtohearthechildrenofthecottagecallingmyname。Itwasweeksbeforetheygaveupseekingforme。Oneofthem，theyoungest，wouldsobherselftosleepofanight，thinkingthatIwasdead：
　　theywereaffectionatechildren。
　　"’Iboardedwithmyshopkeepingfriendsfornearlyayear，andfromthemIwenttosomenewpeoplewhohadlatelycometotheneighbourhood，andwhopossessedareallyexcellentcook。IthinkI
　　couldhavebeenverysatisfiedwiththesepeople，but，unfortunately，theycamedownintheworld，andhadtogiveupthebighouseandthecook，andtakeacottage，andIdidnotcaretogobacktothatsortoflife。
　　"’AccordinglyIlookedaboutforafreshopening。Therewasacuriousoldfellowwholivednotfaroff。Peoplesaidhewasrich，butnobodylikedhim。Hewasshapeddifferentlyfromothermen。I
　　turnedthematteroverinmymindforadayortwo，andthendeterminedtogivehimatrial。Beingalonelysortofman，hemightmakeafussoverme，andifnotIcouldgo。
　　"’Mysurmiseprovedcorrect。IhaveneverbeenmorepettedthanI
　　wasby"Toady，"asthevillageboyshaddubbedhim。Mypresentguardianisfoolishenoughoverme，goodnessknows，butshehasotherties，while"Toady"hadnothingelsetolove，notevenhimself。HecouldhardlybelievehiseyesatfirstwhenIjumpeduponhiskneesandrubbedmyselfagainsthisuglyface。"Why，Kitty，"
　　hesaid，"doyouknowyou’rethefirstlivingthingthathasevercometomeofitsownaccord。"Thereweretearsinhisfunnylittleredeyesashesaidthat。
　　"’Iremainedtwoyearswith"Toady，"andwasveryhappyindeed。
　　Thenhefellill，andstrangepeoplecametothehouse，andIwasneglected。"Toady"likedmetocomeupandlieuponthebed，wherehecouldstrokemewithhislong，thinhand，andatfirstIusedtodothis。Butasickmanisnotthebestofcompany，asyoucanimagine，andtheatmosphereofasickroomnottoohealthy，so，allthingsconsidered，Ifeltitwastimeformetomakeafreshmove。
　　"’Ihadsomedifficultyingettingaway。"Toady"wasalwaysaskingforme，andtheytriedtokeepmewithhim：heseemedtolieeasierwhenIwasthere。Isucceededatlength，however，and，onceoutsidethedoor，Iputsufficientdistancebetweenmyselfandthehousetoensuremynotbeingcaptured，forIknew"Toady"solongashelivedwouldneverceasehopingtogetmeback。
　　"’Wheretogo，Ididnotknow。Twoorthreehomeswereofferedme，butnoneofthemquitesuitedme。Atoneplace，whereIputupforaday，justtoseehowIlikedit，therewasadog；andatanother，whichwouldotherwisehavedoneadmirably，theykeptababy。
　　Whateveryoudo，neverstopatahousewheretheykeepababy。Ifachildpullsyourtailortiesapaperbagroundyourhead，youcangiveitoneforitselfandnobodyblamesyou。"Well，serveyouright，"theysaytotheyellingbrat，"youshouldn’tteasethepoorthing。"Butifyouresentababy’sholdingyoubythethroatandtryingtogougeoutyoureyewithawoodenladle，youarecalledaspitefulbeast，and"shoo’d"allroundthegarden。Ifpeoplekeepbabies，theydon’tkeepme；that’smyrule。
　　"’Aftersamplingsomethreeorfourfamilies，Ifinallyfixeduponabanker。Offersmoreadvantageousfromaworldlypointofviewwereopentome。Icouldhavegonetoapublic—house，wherethevictualsweresimplyunlimited，andwherethebackdoorwasleftopenallnight。Butaboutthebanker’s（hewasalsoachurchwarden，andhiswifeneversmiledatanythinglessthanajokebythebishop）therewasanatmosphereofsolidrespectabilitythatIfeltwouldbecomfortingtomynature。Mydearchild，youwillcomeacrosscynicswhowillsneeratrespectability：don’tyoulistentothem。
　　Respectabilityisitsownreward——andaveryrealandpracticalreward。Itmaynotbringyoudaintydishesandsoftbeds，butitbringsyousomethingbetterandmorelasting。Itbringsyoutheconsciousnessthatyouarelivingtherightlife，thatyouaredoingtherightthing，that，sofarasearthlyingenuitycanfixit，youaregoingtotherightplace，andthatotherfolksain’t。Don’tyoueverletanyonesetyouagainstrespectability。It’sthemostsatisfyingthingIknowofinthisworld——andaboutthecheapest。
　　"’Iwasnearlythreeyearswiththisfamily，andwassorrywhenI
　　hadtogo。IshouldneverhaveleftifIcouldhavehelpedit，butonedaysomethinghappenedatthebankwhichnecessitatedthebanker’stakingasuddenjourneytoSpain，and，afterthat，thehousebecameasomewhatunpleasantplacetolivein。Noisy，disagreeablepeoplewerecontinuallyknockingatthedoorandmakingrowsinthepassage；andatnightfolksthrewbricksatthewindows。
　　"’Iwasinadelicatestateofhealthatthetime，andmynervescouldnotstandit。Isaidgood—byetothetown，andmakingmywaybackintothecountry，putupwithacountyfamily。
　　"’Theyweregreatswells，butIshouldhavepreferredthemhadtheybeenmorehomely。Iamofanaffectionatedisposition，andIlikeeveryoneaboutmetoloveme。Theyweregoodenoughtomeintheirdistantway，buttheydidnottakemuchnoticeofme，andIsoongottiredoflavishingattentionsonpeoplethatneithervaluednorrespondedtothem。
　　"’FromthesepeopleIwenttoaretiredpotatomerchant。Itwasasocialdescent，butarisesofarascomfortandappreciationwereconcerned。Theyappearedtobeanexceedinglynicefamily，andtobeextremelyfondofme。Isaythey"appeared"tobethesethings，becausethesequelprovedthattheywereneither。SixmonthsafterIhadcometothemtheywentawayandleftme。Theyneveraskedmetoaccompanythem。Theymadenoarrangementsformetostaybehind。
　　Theyevidentlydidnotcarewhatbecameofme。SuchegotisticalindifferencetotheclaimsoffriendshipIhadneverbeforemetwith。Itshookmyfaith——nevertoorobust——inhumannature。I
　　determinedthat，infuture，nooneshouldhavetheopportunityofdisappointingmytrustinthem。Iselectedmypresentmistressontherecommendationofagentlemanfriendofminewhohadformerlylivedwithher。Hesaidshewasanexcellentcaterer。Theonlyreasonhehadleftherwasthatsheexpectedhimtobeinatteneachnight，andthathourdidn’tfitinwithhisotherarrangements。
　　Itmadenodifferencetome——asamatteroffact，Idonotcareforthesemidnightreunionsthataresopopularamongstus。Therearealwaystoomanycatsforoneproperlytoenjoyoneself，andsoonerorlaterarowdyelementissuretocreepin。Iofferedmyselftoher，andsheacceptedmegratefully。ButIhaveneverlikedher，andnevershall。Sheisasillyoldwoman，andboresme。Sheis，however，devotedtome，and，unlesssomethingextraattractiveturnsup，Ishallsticktoher。
　　"’That，mydear，isthestoryofmylife，sofarasithasgone。I
　　tellityoutoshowyouhoweasyitistobe"takenin。"Fixonyourhouse，andmewpiteouslyatthebackdoor。Whenitisopenedruninandrubyourselfagainstthefirstlegyoucomeacross。Rubhard，andlookupconfidingly。Nothinggetsroundhumanbeings，I
　　havenoticed，quickerthanconfidence。Theydon’tgetmuchofit，anditpleasesthem。Alwaysbeconfiding。Atthesametimebepreparedforemergencies。Ifyouarestilldoubtfulastoyourreception，tryandgetyourselfslightlywet。WhypeopleshouldpreferawetcattoadryoneIhaveneverbeenabletounderstand；
　　butthatawetcatispracticallysureofbeingtakeninandgushedover，whileadrycatisliabletohavethegardenhoseturneduponit，isanundoubtedfact。Also，ifyoucanpossiblymanageit，anditisofferedyou，eatabitofdrybread。TheHumanRaceisalwaysstirredtoitsdeepestdepthsbythesightofacateatingabitofdrybread。’
　　"Myfriend’sblackTomprofitedbytheChinchilla’swisdom。A
　　catlesscouplehadlatelycometolivenextdoor。Hedeterminedtoadoptthemontrial。Accordingly，onthefirstrainyday，hewentoutsoonafterlunchandsatforfourhoursinanopenfield。Intheevening，soakedtotheskin，andfeelingprettyhungry，hewentmewingtotheirdoor。Oneofthemaidsopenedit，herushedunderherskirtsandrubbedhimselfagainstherlegs。Shescreamed，anddowncamethemasterandthemistresstoknowwhatwasthematter。
　　"’It’sastraycat，mum，’saidthegirl。
　　"’Turnitout，’saidthemaster。
　　"’Ohno，don’t，’saidthemistress。
　　"’Oh，poorthing，it’swet，’saidthehousemaid。
　　"’Perhapsit’shungry，’saidthecook。
　　"’Tryitwithabitofdrybread，’sneeredthemaster，whowroteforthenewspapers，andthoughthekneweverything。
　　"Astalecrustwasproffered。Thecatateitgreedily，andafterwardsrubbedhimselfgratefullyagainsttheman’slighttrousers。
　　"Thismadethemanashamedofhimself，likewiseofhistrousers。
　　’Oh，well，letitstopifitwantsto，’hesaid。
　　"Sothecatwasmadecomfortable，andstayedon。
　　"Meanwhileitsownfamilywereseekingforithighandlow。Theyhadnotcaredovermuchforitwhiletheyhadhadit；nowitwasgone，theywereinconsolable。Inthelightofitsabsence，itappearedtothemtheonethingthathadmadetheplacehome。Theshadowsofsuspiciongatheredroundthecase。Thecat’sdisappearance，atfirstregardedasamystery，begantoassumetheshapeofacrime。Thewifeopenlyaccusedthehusbandofneverhavinglikedtheanimal，andmorethanhintedthatheandthegardenerbetweenthemcouldgiveatolerablytruthfulaccountofitslastmoments；aninsinuationthatthehusbandrepudiatedwithawarmththatonlyaddedcredencetotheoriginalsurmise。
　　"Thebull—terrierwashadupandsearchinglyexamined。Fortunatelyforhim，hehadnothadasinglefightfortwowholedays。Hadanyrecenttracesofbloodbeendetecteduponhim，itwouldhavegonehardwithhim。
　　"Thepersonwhosufferedmost，however，wastheyoungestboy。Threeweeksbefore，hehaddressedthecatindoll’sclothesandtakenitroundthegardenintheperambulator。Hehimselfhadforgottentheincident，butJustice，thoughtardy，wasonhistrack。Themisdeedwassuddenlyrememberedattheverymomentwhenunavailingregretforthelossofthefavouritewasatitsdeepest，sothattoboxhisearsandsendhim，thenandthere，straightofftobedwasfelttobeapositiverelief。
　　"Attheendofafortnight，thecat，findinghehadnot，afterall，betteredhimself，cameback。Thefamilyweresosurprisedthatatfirsttheycouldnotbesurewhetherhewasfleshandblood，oraspiritcometocomfortthem。Afterwatchinghimeathalfapoundofrawsteak，theydecidedhewasmaterial，andcaughthimupandhuggedhimtotheirbosoms。Foraweektheyover—fedhimandmademuchofhim。Then，theexcitementcooling，hefoundhimselfdroppingbackintohisoldposition，anddidn’tlikeit，andwentnextdooragain。
　　"Thenextdoorpeoplehadalsomissedhim，andtheylikewisegreetedhisreturnwithextravagantebullitionsofjoy。Thisgavethecatanidea。Hesawthathisgamewastoplaythetwofamiliesoffoneagainsttheother；whichhedid。Hespentanalternatefortnightwitheach，andlivedlikeafightingcock。Hisreturnwasalwaysgreetedwithenthusiasm，andeverymeanswereadoptedtoinducehimtostay。Hislittlewhimswerecarefullystudied，hisfavouritedisheskeptinconstantreadiness。
　　"Thedestinationofhisgoingsleakedoutatlength，andthenthetwofamiliesquarrelledabouthimoverthefence。Myfriendaccusedthenewspapermanofhavingluredhimaway。Thenewspapermanretortedthatthepoorcreaturehadcometohisdoorwetandstarving，andaddedthathewouldbeashamedtokeepananimalmerelytoill—treatit。Theyhaveaquarrelabouthimtwiceaweekontheaverage。Itwillprobablycometoblowsoneofthesedays。"
　　Jephsonappearedmuchsurprisedbythisstory。Heremainedthoughtfulandsilent。Iaskedhimifhewouldliketohearanymore，andasheofferednoactiveoppositionIwenton。（Maybehewasasleep；thatideadidnotoccurtomeatthetime。）
　　Itoldhimofmygrandmother’scat，who，afterlivingablamelesslifeforupwardsofelevenyears，andbringingupafamilyofsomethinglikesixty—six，notcountingthosethatdiedininfancyandthewater—butt，tooktodrinkinheroldage，andwasrunoverwhileinastateofintoxication（oh，thejusticeofit！）byabrewer’sdray。Ihavereadintemperancetractsthatnodumbanimalwilltouchadropofalcoholicliquor。Myadviceis，ifyouwishtokeepthemrespectable，don’tgivethemachancetogetatit。I
　　knewapony——Butnevermindhim；wearetalkingaboutmygrandmother’scat。
　　Aleakybeer—tapwasthecauseofherdownfall。Asaucerusedtobeplacedunderneathittocatchthedrippings。Onedaythecat，cominginthirsty，andfindingnothingelsetodrink，lappedupalittle，likedit，andlappedalittlemore，wentawayforhalfanhour，andcamebackandfinishedthesaucerful。Thensatdownbesideit，andwaitedforittofillagain。
　　Fromthatdaytillthehourshedied，Idon’tbelievethatcatwaseveroncequitesober。Herdaysshepassedinadrunkenstuporbeforethekitchenfire。Hernightsshespentinthebeercellar。
　　Mygrandmother，shockedandgrievedbeyondexpression，gaveupherbarrelandadoptedbottles。Thecat，thuscondemnedtoenforcedabstinence，meanderedaboutthehouseforadayandahalfinadisconsolate，quarrelsomemood。Thenshedisappeared，returningateleveno’clockastightasadrum。
　　Whereshewent，andhowshemanagedtoprocurethedrink，weneverdiscovered；butthesameprogrammewasrepeatedeveryday。Sometimeduringthemorningshewouldcontrivetoeludeourvigilanceandescape；andlateeveryeveningshewouldcomereelinghomeacrossthefieldsinaconditionthatIwillnotsullymypenbyattemptingtodescribe。
　　ItwasonSaturdaynightthatshemetthesadendtowhichIhavebeforealluded。Shemusthavebeenverydrunk，forthemantoldusthat，inconsequenceofthedarkness，andthefactthathishorsesweretired，hewasproceedingatlittlemorethanasnail’space。
　　Ithinkmygrandmotherwasratherrelievedthanotherwise。Shehadbeenveryfondofthecatatonetime，butitsrecentconducthadalienatedheraffection。Wechildrenburieditinthegardenunderthemulberrytree，buttheoldladyinsistedthatthereshouldbenotombstone，notevenamoundraised。Soitliesthere，unhonoured，inadrunkard’sgrave。
　　Ialsotoldhimofanothercatourfamilyhadoncepossessed。ShewasthemostmotherlythingIhaveeverknown。Shewasneverhappywithoutafamily。Indeed，Icannotrememberherwhenshehadn’tafamilyinonestageoranother。Shewasnotveryparticularwhatsortofafamilyitwas。Ifshecouldnothavekittens，thenshewouldcontentherselfwithpuppiesorrats。Anythingthatshecouldwashandfeedseemedtosatisfyher。Ibelieveshewouldhavebroughtupchickensifwehadentrustedthemtoher。
　　Allherbrainsmusthaveruntomotherliness，forshehadn’tmuchsense。Shecouldnevertellthedifferencebetweenherownchildrenandotherpeople’s。Shethoughteverythingyoungwasakitten。Weoncemixedupaspanielpuppythathadlostitsownmotheramongherprogeny。Ishallneverforgetherastonishmentwhenitfirstbarked。Sheboxedbothitsears，andthensatlookingdownatitwithanexpressionofindignantsorrowthatwasreallytouching。
　　"You’regoingtobeacredittoyourmother，"sheseemedtobesaying"you’reanicecomforttoanyone’soldage，youare，makingarowlikethat。Andlookatyourearsfloppingalloveryourface。
　　Idon’tknowwhereyoupickupsuchways。"
　　Hewasagoodlittledog。Hedidtrytomew，andhedidtrytowashhisfacewithhispaw，andtokeephistailstill，buthissuccesswasnotcommensuratewithhiswill。Idonotknowwhichwasthesaddertoreflectupon，hiseffortstobecomeacreditablekitten，orhisfoster—mother’sdespairofevermakinghimone。
　　Lateronwegaveherababysquirreltorear。Shewasnursingafamilyofherownatthetime，butsheadoptedhimwithenthusiasm，undertheimpressionthathewasanotherkitten，thoughshecouldnotquitemakeouthowshehadcometooverlookhim。Hesoonbecameherprimefavourite。Shelikedhiscolour，andtookamother’sprideinhistail。Whattroubledherwasthatitwouldcockupoverhishead。Shewouldholditdownwithonepaw，andlickitbythehalf—hourtogether，tryingtomakeitsetproperly。Butthemomentsheletitgoupitwouldcockagain。Ihaveheardhercrywithvexationbecauseofthis。
　　Onedayaneighbouringcatcametoseeher，andthesquirrelwasclearlythesubjectoftheirtalk。
　　"It’sagoodcolour，"saidthefriend，lookingcriticallyatthesupposedkitten，whowassittinguponhishaunchescombinghiswhiskers，andsayingtheonlytruthfullypleasantthingabouthimthatshecouldthinkof。
　　"He’salovelycolour，"exclaimedourcatproudly。
　　"Idon’tlikehislegsmuch，"remarkedthefriend。
　　"No，"respondedhismotherthoughtfully，"you’rerightthere。Hislegsarehisweakpoint。Ican’tsayIthinkmuchofhislegsmyself。"
　　"Maybethey’llfilloutlateron，"suggestedthefriend，kindly。
　　"Oh，Ihopeso，"repliedthemother，regaininghermomentarilydashedcheerfulness。"Ohyes，they’llcomeallrightintime。Andthenlookathistail。Now，honestly，didyoueverseeakittenwithafinertail？"
　　"Yes，it’sagoodtail，"assentedtheother；"butwhydoyoudoitupoverhishead？"
　　"Idon’t，"answeredourcat。"Itgoesthatway。Ican’tmakeitout。Isupposeitwillcomestraightashegetsolder。"
　　"Itwillbeawkwardifitdon’t，"saidthefriend。
　　"Oh，butI’msureitwill，"repliedourcat。"Imustlickitmore。
　　It’satailthatwantsagooddealoflicking，youcanseethat。"
　　Andforhoursthatafternoon，aftertheothercathadgone，shesattrimmingit；and，attheend，whensheliftedherpawoffit，anditflewbackagainlikeasteelspringoverthesquirrel’shead，shesatandgazedatitwithfeelingsthatonlythoseamongmyreaderswhohavebeenmothersthemselveswillbeabletocomprehend。
　　"WhathaveIdone，"sheseemedtosay——"whathaveIdonethatthistroubleshouldcomeuponme？"
　　Jephsonrousedhimselfonmycompletionofthisanecdoteandsatup。
　　"Youandyourfriendsappeartohavebeenthepossessorsofsomeveryremarkablecats，"heobserved。
　　"Yes，"Ianswered，"ourfamilyhasbeensingularlyfortunateinitscats。"
　　"Singularlyso，"agreedJephson；"IhavenevermetbutonemanfromwhomIhaveheardmorewonderfulcattalkthan，atonetimeoranother，Ihavefromyou。"
　　"Oh，"Isaid，not，perhapswithoutatouchofjealousyinmyvoice，"andwhowashe？"
　　"Hewasaseafaringman，"repliedJephson。"ImethimonaHampsteadtram，andwediscussedthesubjectofanimalsagacity。
　　"’Yes，sir，’hesaid，’monkeysiscute。I’vecomeacrossmonkeysascouldgivepointstooneortwolubbersI’vesailedunder；andelephantsisprettyspry，ifyoucanbelieveallthat’stoldof’em。
　　I’veheardsometalltalesaboutelephants。And，ofcourse，dogshastheirheadsscrewedonallright：Idon’tsayastheyain’t。
　　ButwhatIdosayis：thatforstraightfor’ard，level—headedreasoning，givemecats。Yousee，sir，adog，hethinksapowerfuldealofaman——neverwassuchacutethingasaman，inadog’sopinion；andhetakesgoodcarethateverybodyknowsit。Naturallyenough，wesaysadogisthemostintellectualanimalthereis。Nowacat，she’sgotherownopinionabouthumanbeings。Shedon’tsaymuch，butyoucantellenoughtomakeyouanxiousnottohearthewholeofit。Theconsequenceis，wesaysacat’sgotnointelligence。That’swhereweletourprejudicesteerourjudgmentwrong。Inamatterofplaincommonsense，thereain’tacatlivingascouldn’ttaketheleesideofadogandflyroundhim。Now，haveyouevernoticedadogattheendofachain，tryingtokillacatasissittingwashingherfacethree—quartersofaninchoutofhisreach？Ofcourseyouhave。Well，who’sgotthesenseoutofthosetwo？Thecatknowsthatitain’tinthenatureofsteelchainstostretch。Thedog，whoought，you’dthink，toknowadurnedsightmoreabout’emthanshedoes，issuretheywillifyouonlybarkloudenough。
　　"’Thenagain，haveyoueverbeenmademadbycatsscreechinginthenight，andjumpedoutofbedandopenedthewindowandyelledatthem？Didtheyeverbudgeaninchforthat，thoughyoushriekedloudenoughtoskeerthedead，andwavedyourarmsaboutlikeamaninaplay？Notthey。They’veturnedandlookedatyou，that’sall。
　　"Yellaway，oldman，"they’vesaid，"weliketohearyou：themorethemerrier。"Thenwhathaveyoudone？Why，you’vesnatchedupahair—brush，oraboot，oracandlestick，andmadeasifyou’dthrowitatthem。They’veseenyourattitude，they’veseenthethinginyourhand，buttheyain’tmovedapoint。Theyknewasyouweren’tgoingtochuckvaluablepropertyoutofwindowwiththechanceofgettingitlostorspoiled。They’vegotsensethemselves，andtheygiveyoucreditforhavingsome。Ifyoudon’tbelievethat’sthereason，youtryshowingthemalumpofcoal，orhalfabrick，nexttime——somethingastheyknowyouWILLthrow。Beforeyou’rereadytoheaveit，therewon’tbeacatwithinaim。
　　"’Thenastojudgmentandknowledgeoftheworld，whydogsarebabiesto’em。Haveyouevertriedtellingayarnbeforeacat，sir？’
　　"Irepliedthatcatshadoftenbeenpresentduringanecdotalrecitalsofmine，butthat，hitherto，Ihadpaidnoparticularattentiontotheirdemeanour。
　　"’Ah，well，youtakeanopportunityofdoingsooneday，sir，’
　　answeredtheoldfellow；’it’sworththeexperiment。Ifyou’retellingastorybeforeacat，andshedon’tgetuneasyduringanypartofthenarrative，youcanreckonyou’vegotholdofathingasitwillbesafeforyoutotelltotheLordChiefJusticeofEngland。
　　"’I’vegotamessmate，’hecontinued；’WilliamCooleyishisname。
　　WecallhimTruthfulBilly。He’sasgoodaseamanasevertrodquarter—deck；butwhenhegetsspinningyarnsheain’tthesortofmanasIcouldadviseyoutorelyupon。Well，Billy，he’sgotadog，andI’veseenhimsitandtellyarnsbeforethatdogthatwouldmakeacatsquirmoutofitsskin，andthatdog’staken’eminandbelieved’em。Onenight，upathisoldwoman’s，Billtoldusayarnbythesideofwhichsaltjunktwovoyagesoldwouldpassforspringchicken。Iwatchedthedog，toseehowhewouldtakeit。Helistenedtoitfrombeginningtoendwithcockedears，andneversomuchasblinked。Everynowandthenhewouldlookroundwithanexpressionofastonishmentordelightthatseemedtosay：
　　"Wonderful，isn’tit！""Dearme，justthinkofit！""Didyouever！""Well，ifthatdon’tbeateverything！"Hewasachuckle—
　　headeddog；youcouldhavetoldhimanything。
　　"’ItirritatedmethatBillshouldhavesuchananimalabouthimtoencouragehim，andwhenhehadfinishedIsaidtohim，"Iwishyou’dtellthatyarnroundatmyquartersoneevening。"
　　"’Why？’saidBill。
　　"’Oh，it’sjustafancyofmine，’Isays。Ididn’ttellhimIwaswantingmyoldcattohearit。
　　"’Oh，allright，’saysBill，’youremindme。’Helovedyarning，Billydid。
　　"’Nextnightbutoneheslingshimselfupinmycabin，andIdoesso。Nothingloth，offhestarts。Therewasabouthalf—a—dozenofusstretchedround，andthecatwassittingbeforethefirefussingitselfup。BeforeBillhadgotfairlyunderweigh，shestopswashingandlooksupatme，puzzledlike，asmuchastosay，"Whathavewegothere，amissionary？"Isignalledtohertokeepquiet，andBillwentonwithhisyarn。Whenhegottothepartaboutthesharks，sheturneddeliberatelyroundandlookedathim。Itellyoutherewasanexpressionofdisgustonthatcat’sfaceasmighthavemadeatravellingCheapJackfeelashamedofhimself。Itwasthathuman，Igiveyoumyword，sir，Iforgotforthemomentasthepooranimalcouldn’tspeak。Icouldseethewordsthatwereonitslips：
　　"Whydon’tyoutellusyouswallowedtheanchor？"andIsatontenter—hooks，fearingeachinstantthatshewouldsaythemaloud。
　　ItwasarelieftomewhensheturnedherbackonBill。
　　"’Forafewminutesshesatverystill，andseemedtobewrestlingwithherselflike。Ineversawacatmoresetoncontrollingitsfeelings，orthatseemedtosuffermoreinsilence。Itmademyheartachetowatchit。
　　"’AtlastBillcametothepointwhereheandthecaptainbetween’emholdtheshark’smouthopenwhilethecabin—boydivesinheadforemost，andfetchesup，undigested，thegoldwatchandchainasthebo’sunwasa—wearingwhenhefelloverboard；andatthattheoldcatgiv’dascreech，androlledoveronhersidewithherlegsintheair。
　　"’Ithoughtatfirstthepoorthingwasdead，butsheralliedafterabit，anditseemedasthoughshehadbracedherselfuptohearthethingout。
　　"’Butalittlefurtheron，Billgottoomuchforheragain，andthistimesheownedherselfbeat。Sheroseupandlookedroundatus：
　　"You’llexcuseme，gentlemen，"shesaid——leastwaysthatiswhatshesaidiflooksgoforanything——"maybeyou’reusedtothissortofrubbish，anditdon’tgetonyournerves。Withmeit’sdifferent。
　　IguessI’veheardasmuchofthisfool’stalkasmyconstitutionwillstand，andifit’sallthesametoyouI’llgetoutsidebeforeI’msick。"
　　"’Withthatshewalkeduptothedoor，andIopeneditforher，andshewentout。
　　"’Youcan’tfoolacatwithtalksameasyoucanadog。’"
　　CHAPTERVII
　　Doesmaneverreform？Balzacsayshedoesn’t。Sofarasmyexperiencegoes，itagreeswiththatofBalzac——afacttheadmirersofthatauthorareatlibertytomakewhatuseoftheyplease。
　　WhenIwasyoungandaccustomedtotakemyviewsoflifefrompeoplewhowereolderthanmyself，andwhoknewbetter，sotheysaid，I
　　usedtobelievethathedid。Examplesof"reformedcharacters"werefrequentlypointedouttome——indeed，ourvillage，situateafewmilesfromasmallseaporttown，seemedtobepeculiarlyrichinsuch。Theywere，fromallaccounts，includingtheirown，personswhohadformerlybehavedwithquiteunnecessarydepravity，andwho，atthetimeIknewthem，appearedtobegoingtoequallyobjectionablelengthsintheoppositedirection。Theyinvariablybelongedtooneoftwoclasses，thelow—spiritedortheaggressivelyunpleasant。Theysaid，andIbelieved，thattheywerehappy；butI
　　couldnothelpreflectinghowverysadtheymusthavebeenbeforetheywerehappy。
　　Oneofthem，asmall，meek—eyedoldmanwithapipingvoice，hadbeenexceptionallywildinhisyouth。WhathadbeenhisspecialvillainyIcouldneverdiscover。Peoplerespondedtomyinquiriesbysayingthathehadbeen"Oh，generallybad，"andincreasedmylongingfordetailbyaddingthatlittleboysoughtnottowanttoknowaboutsuchthings。FromtheirtoneandmannerIassumedthathemusthavebeenapirateattheveryleast，andregardedhimwithawe，notunmingledwithsecretadmiration。
　　Whateveritwas，hehadbeensavedfromitbyhiswife，abonyladyofunprepossessingappearance，butirreproachableviews。
　　Onedayhecalledatourhouseforsomepurposeorother，and，beingleftalonewithhimforafewminutes，Itooktheopportunityofinterviewinghimpersonallyonthesubject。
　　"Youwereverywickedonce，weren’tyou？"Isaid，seekingbyemphasisonthe"once"tomitigatewhatIfeltmightbethedisagreeablenatureofthequestion。
　　Tomyintensesurprise，agleamofshamefulglorylituphiswizenedface，andasoundwhichItriedtothinkasigh，butwhichsoundedlikeachuckle，escapedhislips。
　　"Ay，"hereplied；"I’vebeenabitofaspankerinmytime。"
　　Theterm"spanker"insuchconnectionpuzzledme。Ihadbeenhithertoledtoregardaspankerasaneminentlyconscientiousperson，especiallywheretheshort—comingsofotherpeoplewereconcerned；apersonwholabouredforthegoodofothers。Thatthewordcouldalsobeemployedtodesignateasinfulpartywasarevelationtome。
　　"Butyouaregoodnow，aren’tyou？"Icontinued，dismissingfurtherreflectionupontheetymologyof"spanker"toamorefittingoccasion。
　　"Ay，ay，"heanswered，hiscountenanceresumingitscustomaryaspectofresignedmelancholy。"Ibeabrandpluckedfromtheburning，I
　　be。Therebeantmuchwrongwi’DeaconSawyers，now。"
　　"Anditwasyourwifethatmadeyougood，wasn’tit？"Ipersisted，determined，nowthatIhadstartedthisinvestigation，toobtainconfirmationatfirsthandonallpoints。
　　Atthementionofhiswifehisfeaturesbecamesuddenlytransformed。
　　Glancinghurriedlyround，tomakesure，apparently，thatnoonebutmyselfwaswithinhearing，heleanedacrossandhissedthesewordsintomyear——Ihaveneverforgottenthem，therewasaringofsuchevidentsincerityaboutthem—
　　"I’dliketoskinher，I’dliketoskinheralive。"
　　Itstruckme，eveninthelightofmythenlimitedjudgment，asanunregeneratewish；andthusearlymyfaithinthepossibilityofman’sreformationreceivedthefirstofthosemanyblowsthathaveresultedinshatteringit。
　　Nature，whetherhumanorotherwise，wasnotmadetobereformed。
　　Youcandevelop，youcancheck，butyoucannotalterit。
　　Youcantakeasmalltigerandtrainittositonahearthrug，andtolapmilk，andsolongasyouprovideitwithhearthrugstolieonandsufficientmilktodrink，itwillpurrandbehavelikeanaffectionatedomesticpet。Butitisatiger，withallatiger’sinstincts，anditsprogenytotheendofalltimewillbetigers。
　　Inthesameway，youcantakeanapeanddevelopitthroughafewthousandgenerationsuntilitlosesitstailandbecomesanaltogethersuperiorape。Youcangoondevelopingitthroughstillafewmorethousandsofgenerationsuntilitgatherstoitselfoutofthewastevapoursofeternityanintellectandasoul，bytheaidofwhichitisenabledtokeeptheoriginalapishnaturemoreorlessundercontrol。
　　Buttheapeisstillthere，andalwayswillbe，andeverynowandagain，whenConstableCivilisationturnshisbackforamoment，asduring"SpanishFuries，"or"Septembermassacres，"orWesternmobrule，itcreepsoutandbitesandtearsatquiveringflesh，orplungesitshairyarmselbowdeepinblood，ordancesroundaburningnigger。
　　Iknewamanonce——or，rather，Iknewofaman——whowasaconfirmeddrunkard。Hebecameandcontinuedadrunkard，notthroughweakness，butthroughwill。Whenhisfriendsremonstratedwithhim，hetoldthemtomindtheirownbusiness，andtolethimmindhis。Ifhesawanyreasonfornotgettingdrunkhewouldgiveitup。Meanwhilehelikedgettingdrunk，andhemeanttogetdrunkasoftenaspossible。
　　Hewentaboutitdeliberately，anddiditthoroughly。Fornearlytenyears，soitwasreported，heneverwenttobedsober。Thismaybeanexaggeration——itwouldbeasingularreportwereitnot——butitcanberelieduponassufficientlytruthfulforallpracticalpurposes。
　　Thentherecameadaywhenhedidseeareasonfornotgettingdrunk。Hesignednopledge，hetooknooath。Hesaid，"Iwillnevertouchanotherdropofdrink，"andfortwenty—sixyearshekepthisword。
　　Attheendofthattimeacombinationofcircumstancesoccurredthatmadelifetroublesometohim，sothathedesiredtoberidofitaltogether。Hewasamanaccustomed，whenhedesiredathingwithinhisreach，tostretchouthishandandtakeit。Hereviewedthecasecalmly，anddecidedtocommitsuicide。
　　Ifthethingweretobedoneatall，itwouldbebest，forreasonsthatifsetforthwouldmakethisalongstory，thatitshouldbedonethatverynight，and，ifpossible，beforeeleveno’clock，whichwastheearliesthouracertainpersoncouldarrivefromacertainplace。
　　Itwasthenfourintheafternoon。Heattendedtosomenecessarybusiness，andwrotesomenecessaryletters。Thisoccupiedhimuntilseven。Hethencalledacabanddrovetoasmallhotelinthesuburbs，engagedaprivateroom，andorderedupmaterialsforthemakingoftheparticularpunchthathadbeenthelastbeveragehehadgotdrunkon，six—and—twentyyearsago。
　　Forthreehourshesattheredrinkingsteadily，withhiswatchbeforehim。Athalf—pasttenherangthebell，paidhisbill，camehome，andcuthisthroat。
　　Foraquarterofacenturypeoplehadbeencallingthatmana"reformedcharacter。"Hischaracterhadnotreformedonejot。Thecravingfordrinkhadneverdied。Fortwenty—sixyearshehad，beingagreatman，helditgrippedbythethroat。Whenallthingsbecameamatterofindifferencetohim，heloosenedhisgrasp，andtheevilinstinctroseupwithinhimasstrongonthedayhediedasonthedayheforceditdown。
　　Thatisallamancando，prayforstrengthtocrushdowntheevilthatisinhim，andtokeepithelddowndayafterday。Ineverhearwashytalkabout"changedcharacters"and"reformednatures"
　　butIthinkofasermonIonceheardataWesleyanrevivalistmeetingintheBlackCountry。
　　"Ah！myfriends，we’veallofusgotthedevilinsideus。I’vegothim，you’vegothim，"criedthepreacher——hewasanoldman，withlongwhitehairandbeard，andwild，fightingeyes。Mostofthepreacherswhocame"reviving，"asitwascalled，throughthatdistrict，hadthoseeyes。Someofthemneeded"reviving"
　　themselves，inquiteanothersense，beforetheygotclearoutofit。
　　Iamspeakingnowofmorethanthirtyyearsago。
　　"Ah！soushave——soushave，"cametheresponse。
　　"Andyoucarn’tgetridofhim，"continuedthespeaker。
　　"Notofoursel’s，"ejaculatedaferventvoiceattheendoftheroom，"buttheLordwillhelpus。"
　　Theoldpreacherturnedonhimalmostfiercely：—
　　"Butth’Lordwoan’t，"heshouted；"doan’t’eereckononthat，lad。
　　Ye’vegothiman’ye’vegottakeephim。Yecarn’tgetridofhim。
　　Th’Lorddoan’tmean’eeto。"
　　Heretherebrokeforthmurmursofangrydisapproval，buttheoldfellowwenton，unheeding：—
　　"Itarn’tgoodfor’eetogetridofhim。Ye’vejustgottohughimtight。Doan’tlethimgo。Holdhimfast，and——LAMINTOHIM。I
　　tell’eeit’sgood，healthyChristianexercise。"
　　Wehadbeendiscussingthesubjectwithreferencetoourhero。IthadbeensuggestedbyBrownasanunhackneyedidea，andonelendingitself，therefore，tocomparativefreshnessoftreatment，thatourheroshouldbeathorough—pacedscamp。
　　Jephsonsecondedtheproposal，forthereasonthatitwouldthebetterenableustoaccomplishartisticwork。Hewasofopinionthatweshouldbemoresureofourgroundindrawingavillainthaninattemptingtoportrayagoodman。
　　MacShaughnassythirded（ifImaycoinwhathasoftenappearedtometobeamuch—neededword）themotionwithardour。Hewastired，hesaid，ofthecrystal—hearted，noble—thinkingyoungmanoffiction。
　　Besides，itmadebadreadingforthe"youngperson。"Itgaveherfalseideas，andmadeherdissatisfiedwithmankindashereallyis。
　　And，thereupon，helaunchedforthandsketchedushisideaofahero，withreferencetowhomIcanonlysaythatIshouldnotliketomeethimonadarknight。
　　Brown，ouroneearnestmember，beggedustobereasonable，andremindedus，notforthefirsttime，andnot，perhaps，altogetherunnecessarily，thatthesemeetingswereforthepurposeofdiscussingbusiness，notoftalkingnonsense。
　　Thusadjured，weattackedthesubjectconscientiously。
　　Brown’sideawasthatthemanshouldbeanout—and—outblackguard，untilaboutthemiddleofthebook，whensomeeventshouldtranspirethatwouldhavetheeffectofcompletelyreforminghim。ThisnaturallybroughtthediscussiondowntothequestionwithwhichI
　　havecommencedthischapter：Doesmaneverreform？Iarguedinthenegative，andgavethereasonsformydisbeliefmuchasIhavesetthemforthhere。MacShaughnassy，ontheotherhand，contendedthathedid，andinstancedthecaseofhimself——amanwho，inhisearlydays，soheasserted，hadbeenascatterbrained，impracticableperson，entirelywithoutstability。
　　Imaintainedthatthiswasmerelyanexampleofenormouswill—powerenablingamantoovercomeandrisesuperiortothedefectsofcharacterwithwhichnaturehadhandicappedhim。
　　"Myopinionofyou，"Isaid，"isthatyouarenaturallyahopelesslyirresponsible，well—meaningass。But，"Icontinuedquickly，seeinghishandreachingouttowardsacompleteShakespeareinonevolumethatlayuponthepiano，"yourmentalcapabilitiesareofsuchextraordinarypowerthatyoucandisguisethisfact，andmakeyourselfappearamanofsenseandwisdom。"
　　BrownagreedwithmethatinMacShaughnassy’scasetracesoftheformerdispositionwereclearlyapparent，butpleadedthattheillustrationwasanunfortunateone，andthatitoughtnottohaveweightinthediscussion。
　　"Seriouslyspeaking，"saidhe，"don’tyouthinkthattherearesomeexperiencesgreatenoughtobreakupandre—formaman’snature？"
　　"Tobreakup，"Ireplied，"yes；buttore—form，no。Passingthroughagreatexperiencemayshatteraman，oritmaystrengthenaman，justaspassingthroughafurnacemaymeltorpurifymetal，butnofurnaceeverlituponthisearthcanchangeabarofgoldintoabaroflead，orabarofleadintooneofgold。"
　　IaskedJephsonwhathethought。Hedidnotconsiderthebarofgoldsimileagoodone。Heheldthataman’scharacterwasnotanimmutableelement。Helikenedittoadrug——poisonorelixir——
　　compoundedbyeachmanforhimselffromthepharmacopoeiaofallthingsknowntolifeandtime，andsawnoimpossibility，thoughsomeimprobability，intheglassbeingflungasideandafreshdraughtpreparedwithpainandlabour。
　　"Well，"Isaid，"letusputthecasepractically；didyoueverknowaman’scharactertochange？"
　　"Yes，"heanswered，"Ididknowamanwhosecharacterseemedtometobecompletelychangedbyanexperiencethathappenedtohim。Itmay，asyousay，onlyhavebeenthathewasshattered，orthatthelessonmayhavetaughthimtokeephisnaturaldispositioneverundercontrol。Theresult，inanycase，wasstriking。"
　　Weaskedhimtogiveusthehistoryofthecase，andhedidso。