首页 >出版文学> They and I>第4章

第4章

  Sheaddedthatanywishofhisofcoursewaslawtoher。
  Hewasayoungandinexperiencedhusband;itseemedtohimahopefulopening。Hespokeofquitealotofthings——thingsaboutwhichhefeltthathewasrightandshewaswrong。Shewentandfetchedaquireofpaper,andborrowedhispencilandwrotethemdown。
  Lateron,goingthroughhislettersinthestudy,hefoundanunexpectedcheque;andranupstairsandaskedherifshewouldnotliketocomeoutwithhimandgetherselfanewhat。
  "Icouldhaveunderstoodit,"hemoaned,"ifshehaddroppedonmewhileIwas——well,Isuppose,youmightsaylecturingher。Shehadlistenedtoitlikealamb——hadn’topenedhermouthexcepttosay’yes,dear,’or’no,dear。’Then,whenIonlyaskedherifshe’dlikeanewhat,shegoessuddenlyravingmad。Ineversawawomangosomad。"
  Idoubtiftherebeanythinginnaturequiteasunexpectedasawoman’stemper,unlessitbetumblingintoahole。ItoldallthistoDick。Ihavetoldithimbefore。Oneofthesedayshewillknowit。
  "Youarerighttobeangrywithme,"Robinarepliedmeekly;"thereisnoexcuseforme。Thewholethingistheresultofmyownfolly。"
  Herpathetichumilityshouldhaveappealedtohim。Hecanbesympathetic,whenheisn’thungry。Justthenhehappenedtobehungry。
  "Ileftyoumakingapie,"hesaid。"Itlookedtomeafair—sizedpie。Therewasaduckonthetable,withacauliflowerandpotatoes;
  Veronicawasuptoherelbowsinpeas。Itmademehungrymerelypassingthroughthekitchen。Iwouldn’thaveanythingtoeatinthetownforfearofspoilingmyappetite。Whereisitall?Youdon’tmeantosaythatyouandVeronicahaveeatenthewholeblessedlot!"
  Thereisonething——sheadmitsitherself——thatexhaustsVeronica’spatience:itisunjustsuspicion。
  "DoIlookasifI’deatenanythingforhoursandhours?"Veronicademanded。"Youcanfeelmywaistbandifyoudon’tbelieveme。"
  "Yousaidjustnowyouhadhadyourlunch,"Dickargued。
  "IknowIdid,"Veronicaadmitted。"Oneminuteyouaretoldthatitiswickedtotelllies;thenext——"
  "Veronica!"Robinainterruptedthreateningly。
  "It’seasyforyou,"retortedVeronica。"Youarenotagrowingchild。Youdon’tfeelit。"
  "Theleastyoucando,"saidRobina,"istokeepsilence。"
  "What’sthegood,"saidVeronica——notwithoutreason。"You’lltellthemwhenI’vegonetobed,andcan’tputinawordformyself。
  Everythingisalwaysmyfault。IwishsometimesthatIwasdead。"
  "ThatIweredead,"Icorrectedher。"Theverb’towish,’implyinguncertainty,shouldalwaysbefollowedbytheconditionalmood。"
  "Youought,"saidRobina,"tobethankfultoProvidencethatyou’renotdead。"
  "Peoplearesorrywhenyou’redead,"saidVeronica。
  "Isupposethere’ssomebread—and—cheeseinthehouse,"suggestedDick。
  "Thebaker,forsomereasonoranother,hasnotcalledthismorning,"
  Robinaansweredsweetly。"Neitherunfortunatelyhasthegrocer。
  Everythingthereistoeatinthehouseyouseeuponthetable。"
  "Accidentswillhappen,"Isaid。"Thephilosopher——asourfriendSt。
  Leonardwouldtellus——onlysmiles。"
  "Icouldsmile,"saidDick,"ifitwerehislunch。"
  "Cultivate,"Isaid,"asenseofhumour。Fromahumorouspointofviewthislunchisrathergood。"
  "DidyouhaveanythingtoeatattheSt。Leonards’?"heasked。
  "Justaglassorsoofbeerandasandwichortwo,"Iadmitted。
  "Theybroughtitouttouswhileweweretalkingintheyard。Totellthetruth,Iwasfeelingratherpeckish。"
  Dickmadenoanswer,butcontinuedtochewbacon—rind。NothingI
  couldsayseemedtocheerhim。IthoughtIwouldtryreligion。
  "Adinnerofherbs——thesentimentappliesequallytolunch——andcontentmenttherewithisbetter,"Isaid,"thanastalledox。"
  "Don’ttalkaboutoxen,"heinterruptedfretfully。"IfeelIcouldjusteatone——aplumpone。"
  ThereisamanIknow。Iconfessheirritatesme。Hisargumentisthatyoushouldalwaysrisefromamealfeelinghungry。AsIonceexplainedtohim,youcannotrisefromamealfeelinghungrywithoutsittingdowntoamealfeelinghungry;whichmeans,ofcourse,thatyouarealwayshungry。Heagreedwithme。Hesaidthatwastheidea——alwaysready。
  "Mostpeople,"hesaid,"risefromamealfeelingnomoreinterestintheirfood。Thatwasamentalattitudeinjurioustodigestion。Keepitalwaysinterested;thatwastheproperwaytotreatit。"
  "By’it’youmean……?"Isaid。
  "Ofcourse,"heanswered;"I’mtalkingaboutit。"
  "NowImyself;"heexplained——"Irisefrombreakfastfeelingeagerformylunch。Igetupfrommylunchlookingforwardtomydinner。
  Igotobedjustreadyformybreakfast。"
  Cheerfulexpectancy,hesaid,wasawonderfulaidtodigestion。"I
  callmyself;"hesaid,"acheerfulfeeder。"
  "Youdon’tseemtome,"Isaid,"tobeanythingelse。Youtalklikeatadpole。Haven’tyouanyotherinterestinlife?Whatabouthome,andpatriotism,andShakespeare——allthosesortofthings?Whynotgiveitasquaremeal,andsilenceitforanhourortwo;leaveyourselffreetothinkofsomethingelse。"
  "Howcanyouthinkofanything,"heargued,"whenyourstomach’soutoforder?"
  "Howcanyouthinkofanything,"Iargued,"whenittakesyouallyourtimetokeepitinorder?Youarenotaman;youareanursetoyourownstomach。"Weweregrowingexcited,bothofus,forgettingournaturalrefinement。"Youdon’tgetevenyouroneafternoonaweek。Youarehealthyenough,Iadmitit。SoaretheconvictsatPortland。Theyneversufferfromindigestion。Iknewadoctoroncewhoprescribedforapatienttwoyears’penalservitudeastheonlythinglikelytodohimpermanentgood。Yourstomachwon’tletyousmoke。Itwon’tletyoudrink——notwhenyouarethirsty。ItallowsyouaglassofApentawaterattimeswhenyoudon’twantit,assumingtherecouldeverbeatimewhenyoudidwantit。Youaredeprivedofyournaturalvictuals,andmadetoliveuponpreparedfood,asthoughyouweresomesortofaprizechicken。Youaresenttobedateleven,anddressedinhygienicclothingthatmakesnopretencetofityou。Talkofbeinghen—pecked!Why,themildesthusbandlivingwouldrunawayordrownhimself,ratherthanremaintiedfortherestofhisexistencetoyourstomach。"
  "Itiseasytosneer,"hesaid。
  "Iamnotsneering,"Isaid;"Iamsympathisingwithyou。"
  Hesaidhedidnotwantanysympathy。HesaidifonlyIwouldgiveupover—eatinganddrinkingmyself,itwouldsurprisemehowbrightandintelligentIshouldbecome。
  Ithoughtthismanmightbeofusetousonthepresentoccasion。
  AccordinglyIspokeofhimandofhistheory。Dickseemedimpressed。
  "Nicesortofman?"heasked。
  "Anearnestman,"Ireplied。"Hepractiseswhathepreaches,andwhetherbecause,orinspiteofit,thefactremainsthatachirpiersoulIamsuredoesnotexist。"
  "Married?"demandedDick。
  "Asingleman,"Ianswered。"Inallthingsanidealist。Hehastoldmehewillnevermarryuntilhecanfindhisidealwoman。"
  "WhataboutRobinahere!"suggestedDick。"Seemtohavebeenmadeforoneanother。"
  Robinasmiled。Itwasawan,patheticsmile。
  "Evenhe,"thoughtRobina,"wouldwanthisbeanscookedtotime,andtofeelthatareasonablesupplyofnutswasalwaysinthehouse。Weincompetentwomenneveroughttomarry。"
  Wehadfinishedthebacon。Dicksaidhewouldtakeastrollintothetown。RobinasuggestedhemighttakeVeronicawithhim,thatperhapsabunandaglassofmilkwoulddothechildnoharm。
  Veronicaforawonderseemedtoknowwhereallherthingswere。
  BeforeDickhadfilledhispipeshewasreadydressedandwaitingforhim。Robinasaidshewouldgivethemalistofthingstheymightbringbackwiththem。ShealsoaskedDicktogettogetheraplumber,acarpenter,abricklayer,aglazier,andacivilengineer,andtoseetoitthattheystartedoffatonce。Shethoughtthatamongthemtheymightbeabletodoallthatwastemporarilynecessary,butthegreatthingwasthattheworkshouldbecommencedwithoutdelay。
  "Why,whatonearth’sthematter,oldgirl?"askedDick。"Haveyouhadanaccident?"
  ThenitwasthatRobinaexploded。Ihadbeenwonderingwhenitwouldhappen。ToDick’sastonishmentithappenedthen。
  Yes,sheanswered,therehadbeenanaccident。Didhesupposethatsevenscrimpyscrapsofbaconwashernotionofalunchbetweenfourhungrypersons?Didhe,judgingfromhimself,imaginethatourfamilyyieldedonlylunatics?Wasitkind——wasitcourteoustohisparents,tothemotherhepretendedtolove,tothefatherwhosegreyhairshewasbyhisgeneralbehaviourbringingdowninsorrowtothegrave——toassumewithoutfurtherenquirythattheireldestdaughterwasanimbecile?(Myhair,by—the—bye,isnotgrey。Theremaybeasuggestionofgreynesshereandthere,thenaturalresultofdeepthinking。Todescribeitinthelumpasgreyistoshowlackofobservation。Andatforty—eight——oratrifleover——oneisnotgoingdownintothegrave,notstraightdown。Robinawhenexcitedusesexaggeratedlanguage。Ididnot,however,interrupther;shemeantwell。Addedtowhich,interruptingRobina,when——touseherownexpression——sheistiredofbeingaworm,isliketryingtostopacyclonewithanumbrella。)Hadhisattentionbeenlessconcentratedontheguzzlingofcoldbacon(hehadonlyhadfourmouthfuls,poorfellow)——hadhenoticedthesweetpatientchildstarvingbeforehisveryeyes(thisreferredtoVeronica)——hispooreldersister,wornoutwithworkandworry,piningfornourishmentherself,itmighthaveoccurredtoevenhisintelligencethattherehadbeenanaccident。Theselfishness,theegotismofmenitwasthatstaggered,overwhelmedRobina,whenshecametothinkofit。
  Robinapaused。Notforwantofmaterial,Ijudged,somuchaswantofbreath。Veronicaperformedausefulservicebyseizingthemomenttoexpressahopethatitwasnotearly—closingday。Robinafeltaconvictionthatitwas:itwouldbejustlikeDicktostandtheredawdlinginacornertillitwastoolatetodoanything。
  "Ihavebeentryingtogetoutofthiscornerforthelastfiveminutes,"explainedDick,withthatangelicsmileofhisthatI
  confessisirritating。"Ifyouhavedonetalking,andwillgivemeanopening,Iwillgo。"
  Robinatoldhimthatshehaddonetalking。Shegavehimherreasonsforhavingdonetalking。Iftalkingtohimwouldbeofanyuseshewouldoftenhavefeltitherdutytotalktohim,notonlywithregardtohisstupidityandselfishnessandgeneralaggravatingness,butwithreferencetohischaracterasawhole。Herexcusefornottalkingtohimwasthecrushingconvictionofthehopelessnessofevereffectinganyimprovementinhim。Wereitotherwise—
  "Seriouslyspeaking,"saidDick,nowescapedfromhiscorner,"something,Itakeit,hasgonewrongwiththestove,andyouwantasortofgeneralsmith。"
  Heopenedthekitchendoorandlookedin。
  "GreatScott!"hesaid。"Whatwasit——anearthquake?"
  Ilookedinoverhisshoulder。
  "Butitcouldnothavebeenanearthquake,"Isaid。"Weshouldhavefeltit。"
  "Itisnotanearthquake,"explainedRobina。"Itisyouryoungestdaughter’snotionofmakingherselfuseful。"
  Robinaspokeseverely。IfeltforthemomentasifIhaddoneitallmyself。Ihadanunclewhousedtotalklikethat。"Youraunt,"hewouldsay,regardingmewithareproachfuleye,"yourauntcanbe,whenshelikes,themosttryingwomantolivewithIhaveeverknown。"Itwoulddepressmefordays。IwouldwonderwhetherI
  oughttospeaktoheraboutit,orwhetherIshouldbedoingonlyharm。
  "Buthowdidshedoit?"Idemanded。"Itisimpossiblethatamerechild——whereisthechild?"
  TheparlourcontainedbutRobina。Ihurriedtothedoor;Dickwasalreadyhalfacrossthefield。VeronicaIcouldnotsee。
  "Wearemakinghaste,"Dickshoutedback,"incaseitisearly—
  closingday。"
  "IwantVeronica!"Ishouted。
  "What?"shoutedDick。
  "Veronica!"Ishoutedwithmyhandstomymouth。
  "Yes!"shoutedDick。"She’sonahead。"
  Itwasuselessscreaminganymore。Hewasnowclimbingthestile。
  "Theyalwaystakeeachother’spart,thosetwo,"sighedRobina。
  "Yes,andyouarejustasbad,"Itoldher;"ifhedoesn’t,youdo。
  Andthenifit’syoutheytakeyourpart。Andyoutakehispart。
  Andhetakesbothyourparts。AndbetweenyouallIamjustgettingtiredofbringinganyofyouup。"(Whichisthetruth。)"Howdidthisthinghappen?"
  "Ihadgoteverythingfinished,"answeredRobina。"Theduckwasintheovenwiththepie;thepeasandpotatoeswereboilingnicely。I
  wasfeelinghot,andIthoughtIcouldtrustVeronicatowatchthethingsforawhile。ShepromisednottoplayKingAlfred。"
  "What’sthat?"Iasked。
  "Youknow,"saidRobina——"KingAlfredandthecakes。Ileftheroneafternoonlastyearwhenwewereonthehouseboattowatchsomebuns。
  WhenIcamebackshewassittinginfrontofthefire,wrappedupinthetable—cloth,withDick’sbanjoonherkneesandacardboardcrownuponherhead。Thebunswereallburnttoacinder。AsItoldher,ifIhadknownwhatshewantedtobeuptoIcouldhavegivenhersomeextrabitsofdoughtomakebelievewith。Butoh,no!ifyouplease,thatwouldnothavesuitedheratall。Itwastheirbeingrealbuns,andmybeingrealmad,thatwasthebestpartofthegame。
  Sheisanuncannychild。"
  "Whatwasthegamethistime?"Iasked。
  "Idon’tthinkitwasintendedforagame——notatfirst,"answeredRobina。"Iwentintothewoodtopicksomeflowersforthetable。I
  wasonmywayback,stillatsomedistancefromthehouse,whenI
  heardquitealoudreport。Itookitforagun,andwonderedwhatanyonewouldbeshootinginJuly。Itmustberabbits,Ithought。
  Rabbitsneverseemtohaveanytimeatalltothemselves,poorthings。AndinconsequenceIdidnothurrymyself。ItmusthavebeenabouttwentyminuteslaterwhenIcameinsightofthehouse。
  Veronicawasinthegardendeepinconfabulationwithanawful—
  lookingboy,dressedinnothingbutrags。Hisfaceandhandswerealmostblack。Youneversawsuchanobject。Theybothseemedveryexcited。Veronicacametomeetme;andwithafaceasseriousasmineisnow,stoodthereandtoldmethemostbarefacedpackofliesyoueverheard。ShesaidthatafewminutesafterIhadgone,robbershadcomeoutofthewood——shetalkedaboutthemasthoughtherehadbeenhundreds——andhadwiththemostawfulthreatsdemandedtobeadmittedintothehouse。Whytheyhadnotliftedthelatchandwalkedin,shedidnotexplain。Itappearedthiscottagewastheirsecretrendezvous,wherealltheirtreasurelieshidden。Veronicawouldnotletthemin,butshoutedforhelp:andimmediatelythisawful—lookingboy,towhomsheintroducedmeas’SirRobert’
  somethingoranother,hadappeareduponthescene;andthentherehadfollowed——well,Ihavenotthepatiencetotellyouthewholeoftherigmaroletheyhadconcocted。Theupshotofitwasthattherobbers,defeatedintheirattempttogetintothehouse,hadfiredasecretmine,whichhadexplodedinthekitchen。IfIdidnotbelievethemI
  couldgointothekitchenandseeformyself。SaywhatIwould,thatisthestorytheybothstuckto。ItwasnottillIhadtalkedtoVeronicaforaquarterofanhour,andhadtoldherthatyouwouldmostcertainlycommunicatewiththepolice,andthatshewouldhavetoconvinceajudgeandjuryofthetruthofherstory,thatIgotanysenseatalloutofher。"
  "Whatwasthesenseyoudidgetoutofher?"Iasked。
  "Well,Iamnotsureevennowthatitisthetruth,"saidRobina——
  "thechilddoesnotseemtopossessaproperconscience。Whatshewillgrowuplike,ifsomethingdoesnothappentochangeher,itisawfultothink。"
  "Idon’twanttoappearahustler,"Isaid,"andmaybeIammistakenintheactualtime,butitfeelstomelikehourssinceIaskedyouhowthecatastrophereallyoccurred。"
  "Iamtellingyou,"explainedRobina,hurt。"ShewasinthekitchenyesterdaywhenImentionedtoHarry’smother,whohadlookedintohelpmewashup,thatthekitchenchimneysmoked:andthenshesaid—
  —"
  "Whosaid?"Iasked。
  "Why,shedid,"answeredRobina,"Harry’smother。Shesaidthatveryoftenapennyworthofgunpowder——"
  "Nowatlastwehavebegun,"Isaid。"FromthispointImaybeabletohelpyou,andwewillgeton。Attheword’gunpowder’Veronicaprickedupherears。ThethingbyitsverynaturewouldappealtoVeronica’ssympathies。Shewenttobeddreamingofgunpowder。Leftinsolitudebeforethekitchenfire,othermaidensmighthaveseenpicturedintheglowingcoals,princes,carriages,andballs。
  Veronicasawvisionsofgunpowder。Whoknows?——perhapsevensheonedaywillhavegunpowderofherown!Shelooksupfromherreverie:
  afairygodmammainthedisguiseofasmallboy——itwasasmallboy,wasitnot?"
  "Ratheranicelittleboy,hegavemetheideaofhavingbeen,originally,"answeredRobina;"thechild,Ishouldsay,ofwell—to—doparents。HewasdressedinalittleLordFauntleroysuit——orrather,hehadbeen。"
  "DidVeronicaknowhowhewas——anythingabouthim?"Iasked。
  "NothingthatIcouldgetoutofher,"repliedRobina;"youknowherway——howshechumsonwithanybodyandeverybody。AsItoldher,ifshehadbeenattendingtoherdutiesinsteadofstaringoutofthewindow,shewouldnothaveseenhim。Hehappenedtobecrossingthefieldjustatthetime。"
  "Aboyborntoill—luck,evidently,"Iobserved。"ToVeronicaofcourseheseemedliketheanswertoaprayer。Aboywouldsurelyknowwheregunpowdercouldbeculled。"
  "Theymusthavegotapoundofitfromsomewhere,"saidRobina,"judgingfromtheresult。"
  "Anynotionwheretheygotitfrom?"Iasked。
  "No,"explainedRobina。"AllVeronicacansayisthathetoldherheknewwherehecouldgetsome,andwasgoneabouttenminutes。Ofcoursetheymusthavestolenit——eventhatdidnotseemtotroubleher。"
  "Itcametoherasagiftfromthegods,Robina,"Iexplained。"I
  rememberhowImyselfusedtofeelaboutthesethings,atten。Tohaveenquiredfurtherwouldhaveseemedtoherimpious。Howwasittheywerenotbothkilled?"
  "Providence,"wasRobina’ssuggestion:itseemedtobetheonlyonepossible。"Theyliftedoffoneofthesaucepansandjustdroppedthethingin——fortunatelywrappedupinabrownpaperparcel,whichgavethembothtimetogetoutofthehouse。AtleastVeronicagotclearoff。Forachangeitwasnotshewhofelloverthemat,itwastheboy。"
  Ilookedagainintothekitchen;thenIreturnedandputmyhandsonRobina’sshoulders。"Itisamostamusingincident——asithasturnedout,"Isaid。
  "Itmighthaveturnedoutratherseriously,"thoughtRobina。
  "Itmight,"Iagreed:"shemightbelyingupstairs。"
  "Sheisawicked,heartlesschild,"saidRobina;"sheoughttobepunished。"
  IlentRobinamyhandkerchief;sheneverhasoneofherown。
  "Sheisgoingtobepunished,"Isaid;"Iwillthinkofsomething。"
  "AndsooughtI,"saidRobina;"itwasmyfault,leavingher,knowingwhatshe’slike。Imighthavemurderedher。Shedoesn’tcare。
  She’sstuffingherselfwithcakesatthisverymoment。"
  "Theywillprobablygiveherindigestion,"Isaid。"Ihopetheydo。"
  "Whydidn’tyouhavebetterchildren?"sobbedRobina;"wearenoneofusanygoodtoyou。"
  "YouarenotthechildrenIwanted,Iconfess,"Ianswered。
  "That’sanicekindthingtosay!"retortedRobinaindignantly。
  "Iwantedsuchcharmingchildren,"Iexplained——"myideaofcharmingchildren:thechildrenIhadimaginedformyself。Evenasbabiesyoudisappointedme。"
  Robinalookedastonished。
  "You,Robina,werethemostdisappointing,"Icomplained。"Dickwasaboy。Onedoesnotcalculateuponboyangels;andbythetimeVeronicaarrivedIhadgotmoreusedtothings。ButIwassoexcitedwhenyoucame。TheLittleMotherandIwouldstealatnightintothenursery。’Isn’titwonderful,’theLittleMotherwouldwhisper,’tothinkitalllieshiddenthere:thelittletiresomechild,thesweethearttheywillonedaytakeawayfromus,thewife,themother?’’Iamgladitisagirl,’Iwouldwhisper;’Ishallbeabletowatchhergrowintowomanhood。Mostofthegirlsonecomesacrossinbooksstrikeoneasnotperhapsquitetruetolife。Itwillgivemesuchanadvantagehavingagirlofmyown。Ishallkeepanote—
  book,withalockandkey,devotedtoher。’"
  "Didyou?"askedRobina。
  "Iputitaway,"Ianswered;"therewerebutafewpageswrittenon。
  Itcametomequiteearlyinyourlifethatyouwerenotgoingtobethemodelheroine。Iwaslookingforthepicturebaby,theclean,thoughtfulbaby,withitsmagical,mysticalsmile。Iwrotepoetryaboutyou,Robina,butyouwouldslobberandhowl。Yourlittlenosewasalwayshavingtobewiped,andsomehowthepoetrydidnotseemtofityou。Youwereatyourbestwhenyouwereasleep,butyouwouldnotevensleepwhenitwasexpectedofyou。Ithink,Robina,thatthefellowswhodrawthepicturesforthecomicjournalsofthemaninhisnight—shirtwiththesquallingbabyinhisarmsmustallbesinglemen。Themarriedmanseesonlysadnessinthedesign。Itisnotthemerediscomfort。Ifthelittlecreaturewereillorinpainweshouldnotthinkofthat。Itisthereflectionthatwe,whomeantsowell,havebroughtintotheworldjustanordinaryfretfulhumancreaturewithanastytemperofitsown:thatisthetragedy,Robina。Andthenyougrewintoalittlegirl。Iwantedthesoulfullittlegirlwiththefathomlesseyes,whowouldstealtomeattwilightandquestionmeconcerninglife’sconundrums。
  "ButIusedtoaskyouquestions,"grumbledRobina,"andyouwouldtellmenottobesilly。"
  "Don’tyouunderstand,Robina?"Ianswered。"Iamnotblamingyou,I
  amblamingmyself。Wearelikechildrenwhoplantseedsinagarden,andthenareangrywiththeflowersbecausetheyarenotwhatweexpected。Youwereadearlittlegirl;Iseethatnow,lookingback。
  ButnotthelittlegirlIhadinmymind。SoImissedyou,thinkingofthelittlegirlyouwerenot。Wedothatallourlives,Robina。
  Wearealwayslookingfortheflowersthatdonotgrow,passingby,tramplingunderfoot,theblossomsroundaboutus。ItwasthesamewithDick。Iwantedanaughtyboy。Well,Dickwasnaughty,noonecansaythathewasnot。Butitwasnotmynaughtiness。Iwaspreparedforhisrobbingorchards。Iratherhopedhewouldroborchards。Allthehigh—spiritedboysinbooksroborchards,andbecomegreatmen。Buttherewerenotanyorchardshandy。WehappenedtobelivinginChelseaatthetimeheoughttohavebeenrobbingorchards:that,ofcourse,wasmyfault。Ididnotthinkofthat。Hestoleabicyclethataladyhadleftoutsidethetea—roominBatterseaPark,heandanotherboy,thesonofacommonbarber,whoshavedpeopleforthree—halfpence。IamaRepublicanintheory,butitgrievedmethatasonofminecouldbedrawntosuchcompanionship。Theycontrivedtokeepitforaweek——tillthepolicefounditonenight,artfullyhiddenbehindbushes。Logically,Idonotseewhystealingapplesshouldbenobleandstealingbicyclesshouldbemean,butitstruckmethatwayatthetime。ItwasnottheparticularstealIhadbeenhopingfor。
  "Iwantedhimwild;theheroofthebookwaseverinhiscollegedaysawildyoungman。Well,hewaswild。ItcostmethreehundredpoundstokeepthatbreachofpromisecaseoutofCourt;Ihadneverimaginedabreachofpromisecase。Thenhegotdrunk,andbonnetedabishopinmistakefora’bull—dog。’Ididn’tmindthebishop。Thatbyitselfwouldhavebeenwholesomefun。Buttothinkthatasonofmineshouldhavebeendrunk!"
  "Hehasneverbeendrunksince,"pleadedRobina。"Hehadonlythreeglassesofchampagneandaliqueur:itwastheliqueur——hewasnotusedtoit。Hegotintothewrongset。Youcannotincollegebelongtothewildsetwithoutgettingdrunkoccasionally。"
  "Perhapsnot,"Iadmitted。"Inthebookthewildyoungmandrinkswithoutevergettingdrunk。Maybethereisadifferencebetweenlifeandthebook。Inthebookyouenjoyyourfun,butcontrivesomehowtoescapethelicking:inlifethelickingistheonlythingsure。
  ItwasthewildyoungmanoffictionIwaslookingfor,who,afortnightbeforetheexam。,tiesawettowelroundhishead,drinksstrongtea,andpasseseasilywithhonours。Hetriedthewettowel,hetellsme。Itneverwouldkeepinitsplace。Addedtowhichitgavehimneuralgia;whilethestrongteagavehimindigestion。I
  usedtopicturemyselftheproud,indulgentfatherlecturinghimforhiswildness——turningawayatsomepointinthemiddleofmytiradetohideasmile。Therewasneveranysmiletohide。Ifeelthathehasbehaveddisgracefully,wastinghistimeandmymoney。"
  "Heisgoingtoturnoveranewleaf;"saidRobina:"Iamsurehewillmakeanexcellentfarmer。"
  "Ididnotwantafarmer,"Iexplained;"IwantedaPrimeMinister。
  Children,Robina,areverydisappointing。Veronicaisallwrong。I
  likeamischievouschild。Ilikereadingstoriesofmischievouschildren:theyamuseme。Butnotthechildwhoputsapoundofgunpowderintoared—hotfire,andescapeswithherlifebyamiracle。"
  "Andyet,Idaresay,"suggestedRobina,"thatifoneputitintoabook——Imeanthatifyouputitintoabook,itwouldreadamusingly。"
  "Likelyenough,"Iagreed。"Otherpeople’stroublescanalwaysbeamusing。Asitis,Ishallbeinastateofanxietyforthenextsixmonths,wondering,everymomentthatsheisoutofmysight,whatnewdevilmentsheisupto。TheLittleMotherwillbeworriedoutofherlife,unlesswecankeepitfromher。"
  "Childrenwillbechildren,"murmuredRobina,meaningtobecomforting。
  "ThatiswhatIamcomplainingof,Robina。Wearealwayshopingthatourswon’tbe。Sheisfulloffaults,Veronica,andtheyarenotalwaysnicefaults。Sheislazy——lazyisnotthewordforit。"
  "Sheislazy,"Robinawascompelledtoadmit。
  "Thereareotherfaultsshemighthavehadandwelcome,"Ipointedout;"faultsIcouldhavetakenaninterestinandlikedherallthebetterfor。Youchildrenaresoobstinate。Youwillchooseyourownfaults。Veronicaisnottruthfulalways。IwantedafamilyoflittleGeorgeWashingtons,whocouldnottellalie。Veronicacan。
  Togetherselfoutoftrouble——andprovidedthereisanyhopeofanybodybelievingher——shedoes。"
  "Weallofususedtowhenwewereyoung,"Robinamaintained;"Dickusedto,Iusedto。Itisacommonfaultwithchildren。"
  "Iknowitis,"Ianswered。"Ididnotwantachildwithcommonfaults。Iwantedsomethingallmyown。Iwantedyou,Robina,tobemyidealdaughter。IhadagirlinmymindthatIamsurewouldhavebeencharming。Youarenotabitlikeher。Idon’tsayshewasperfect,shehadherfailings,buttheyweresuchdelightfulfailings——muchbetterthanyours,Robina。Shehadatemper——awomanwithoutatemperisinsipid;butitwasthatkindoftemperthatmadeyouloveherallthemore。Yoursdoesn’t,Robina。Iwishyouhadnotbeeninsuchahurry,andhadleftmetoarrangeyourtemperforyou。Weshouldallofushavepreferredmine。Ithadalltheattractionsoftemperwithoutthedrawbacksoftheordinarytemper。"
  "Couldn’tuseitup,Isuppose,foryourself,Pa?"suggestedRobina。
  "Itwasalady’stemper,"Iexplained。"Besides,"asIaskedher,"whatiswrongwiththeoneIhave?"
  "Nothing,"answeredRobina。Yethertoneconveyeddoubt。"Itseemstomesometimesthatanoldertemperwouldsuityoubetter,thatwasall。"
  "Youhavehintedasmuchbefore,Robina,"Iremarked,"notonlywithreferencetomytemper,butwithreferencetothingsgenerally。OnewouldthinkthatyouweredissatisfiedwithmebecauseIamtooyoung。"
  "Notinyearsperhaps,"repliedRobina,"but——well,youknowwhatI
  mean。Onewantsone’sfathertobealwaysgreatanddignified。"
  "Wecannotchangeourego,"Iexplainedtoher。"Somedaughterswouldappreciateafatheryouthfulenoughintemperamenttosympathisewithandtoindulgethem。Thesolemnoldfogeyyouhaveinyourmindwouldhavebroughtyouupverydifferently。Letmetellyouthat,mygirl。Youwouldnothavelikedhim,ifyouhadhadhim。"
  "Perhapsnot,"Robinaagreed。"Youareawfullygoodinsomeways。"
  "Whatwehavegottodointhisworld,Robina,"Isaid,"istotakepeopleastheyare,andmakethebestofthem。Wecannotexpecteverybodytobejustaswewouldhavethem,andmaybeweshouldnotlikethemanybetteriftheywere。Don’tbotheryourselfabouthowmuchnicertheymightbe;thinkhownicetheyare。"
  Robinasaidshewouldtry。IhavehopesofmakingRobinaasensiblewoman。
  CHAPTERVII
  DickandVeronicareturnedladenwithparcels。Theyexplainedthat"DaddySlee,"asitappearedhewasgenerallycalled,alocalbuilderofrenown,wasfollowinginhispony—cart,andwaskindlybringingthebulkierthingswithhim。
  "Itriedtohustlehim,"saidDick,"butcomingupafterhehadwashedhimselfandhadhisteaseemedtobehisideaofhustling。HehasgotthereputationofbeinganhonestoldJohnny,slowbutsure;
  theothers,theytellme,areslower。Ithoughtyoumightcare,lateron,totalktohimaboutthehouse。"
  Veronicatookoffherthingsandputthemaway,eachoneinitsproperplace。Shesaid,ifnoonewantedher,shewouldreadachapterof"TheVicarofWakefield,"andretiredupstairs。RobinaandIhadaneggwithourtea;Mr。Sleearrivedaswehadfinished,andItookhimstraightintothekitchen。Hewasalargeman,withadreamyexpressionandahabitofsighing。Hesighedwhenhesawourkitchen。
  "There’sfourdays’workforthreemenhere,"hesaid,"andyou’llwantanewstove。Lord!whattroublechildrencanbe!"
  Robinaagreedwithhim。
  "Meanwhile,"shedemanded,"howamItocook?"
  "Myself,missie,"sighedMr。Slee,"Idon’tseehowyouaregoingtocook。"
  "We’llallhavetotramphomeagain,"thoughtDick。
  "AndtellLittleMotherthereason,andfrightenheroutofherlife!"retortedRobinaindignantly。
  Robinahadotherideas。Mr。Sleedeparted,promisingthatworkshouldbecommencedatseveno’clockonMondaymorning。Robina,thedoorclosed,begantotalk。
  "LetPahaveasandwich,"saidRobina,"andcatchthesix—fifteen。"
  "Wemightallhaveasandwich,"suggestedDick;"Icoulddowithonemyself。"
  "Pacanexplain,"saidRobina,"thathehasbeencalledbacktotownonbusiness。Thatwillaccountforeverything,andLittleMotherwillnotbealarmed。"
  "Shewon’tbelievethatbusinesshasbroughthimbackatnineo’clockonaSaturdaynight,"arguedDick;"youthinkthatLittleMotherhasn’tanysense。She’llseethere’ssomethingup,andaskahundredquestions。Youknowwhatsheis。"
  "Pa,"saidRobina,"willhavetimewhileinthetraintothinkoutsomethingplausible;that’swherePaisclever。WithPaoffmyhandsIsha’n’tmind。Wethreecanliveoncoldhamandthingslikethat。
  ByThursdaywewillbeallright,andthenhecancomedownagain。"
  IpointedouttoRobina,kindlybutfirmly,theutterabsurdityofheridea。HowcouldIleavethem,threehelplesschildren,withnoonetolookafterthem?WhatwouldtheLittleMothersay?WhatmightnotVeronicabeuptoinmyabsence?Therewereotherthingstobeconsidered。Thedonkeymightarriveatanymoment——noresponsiblepersontheretoreceivehim——toseetoitthathissimplewantswouldbeprovidedfor。IshouldhavetointerviewMr。St。
  LeonardagaintofixupfinaldetailsasregardedDick。Whowasgoingtolookafterthecow,abouttobeseparatedfromus?YoungButewouldbedownagainwithplans。Whowasgoingtotakehimoverthehouse,explainthingstohimintelligibly?Thenewboymightturnup——thissimplesonofthesoilMissJaniehadpromisedtodigoutandsendalong。HewouldtalkBerkshire。Whowouldtherebetounderstandhim——toreplytohimindialect?Whatwastheuseofherbeingimpetuousandtalkingnonsense?
  Shewentoncuttingsandwiches。Shesaidtheywerenothelplesschildren。ShesaidifsheandDickatforty—twohadn’tgritenoughtorunasix—roomedcottageitwastimetheylearned。
  "Who’sforty—two?"Idemanded。
  "Weare,"explainedRobina,"DickandI——betweenus。Weshallbeforty—twonextbirthday。Nearlyyourownage。"
  "Veronica,"shecontinued,"forthenextfewdayswon’tbeachildatall。Sheknowsnothingofthehappymedium。Sheiseitherherselforshegoestotheoppositeextreme,andtriestobeanangel。Tillabouttheendoftheweekitwillbelikelivingwithavision。Asforthedonkey,we’lltryandmakehimfeelasmuchathomeasifyouwerehere。"
  "Idon’tmeantoberude,Pa,"Robinaexplained,"butfromthewayyouputityouevidentlyregardyourselfastheonlyoneamonguscapableofinterestinghim。Itakeithewon’tmindforanightortwosharingtheshedwiththecow。Ifhelooksshockedatthesuggestion,Dickcanknockupapartition。I’dratherforthepresent,tillyoucomedownagain,thecowstoppedwhereshewas。
  Shehelpstowakemeinthemorning。YoumayreckonyouhavesettledeverythingasfarasDickisconcerned。IfyoutalktoSt。LeonardagainforanhouritwillbeaboutthefutureoftheYellowRacesorthepossibilityoflifeinJupiter。Ifyoumentiontermshewillbeinsulted,andifhewon’tletyouthenyouwillbeinsulted,andthewholethingwillbeoff。LetmetalktoJanie。We’vebothofusgotsense。AsforMr。Bute,Iknowallyourideasaboutthehouse,andI
  sha’n’tlistentoanyofhissillyarguments。Whatthatyoungmanwantsissomeonetotellhimwhathe’sgottodo,andthenlettherebeanendofit。Andthesoonerthathandyboyturnsupthebetter。
  Idon’tmindwhathetalks。AllIwanthimtodoistocleanknivesandfetchwaterandchopwood。AttheworstI’llgetthathometohimbypantomime。Forconversationhecanwaittillyoucomedown。"
  Thatisthegistofwhatshesaid。Itdidn’trunexactlyasIhaveputitdown。TherewerepointsatwhichIinterrupted,butRobinaneverlistens;shejusttalkson,andattheendsheassumesthat,asamatterofcourse,youhavecomeroundtoherpointofview,andpersuadingherthatyouhaven’tmeansbeginningthewholethingoveragain。
  ShesaidIhadn’ttimetotalk,andthatshewouldwriteandtellmeeverything。Dickalsosaidhewouldwriteandtellmeeverything;
  andthatifIfeltmovedtosendthemdownahamper——thesortofthingthat,lefttothemselves,Fortnum&Masonwouldputtogetherforagood—classpicnic,say,forsixpersons——Imightrelyuponitthatnothingwouldbewasted。
  Veronica,bymydesire,walkedwithmetotheendofthelane。I
  talkedtoherveryseriously。Herdifficultywasthatshehadnotbeenblownup。Hadshebeenblownup,thenshewouldhaveknownherselfshehaddonewrong。Inthebookitisthedisobedientchildthatistossedbythebull。Thechildthathasbeensentwiththelittlebaskettovisitthesickauntmayberightinthebull’sway。
  Thatisabitofbadluckforthebull。Thepoorbulliscompelledtowastevaluabletimeworkingroundcarefully,soasnottoupsetthebasket。Ifthewickedchildhadsense(whichinthebookdoesnothappen),itwould,whilethebullwasdodgingtogetpastthegoodchild,seizetheopportunitytomoveitselfquickly。Thewickedchildneverlooksround,butpegsalongsteadily;andwhenthebullarrivesitissuretobeinthemostconvenientpositionforreceivingmorallessons。Thegoodchild,whateveritsweight,crossestheiceinsafety。Thebadchildmayturnthescaleattwostonelighter;theicewillhavenoneofhim。"Don’tyoutalktomeaboutrelativepressuretothesquareinch,"saystheindignantice。
  "Youwereunkindtoyourlittlebabybrothertheweekbeforelast:
  inyougo。"Veronica’sargument,temperatelyandcourteouslyexpressed,Iadmit,camepracticallytothis:
  "Imayhaveactedwithoutsufficientknowledgetoguideme。Myeducationhasnot,perhaps,onthewhole,beenorderedwisely。
  SubjectsthatIfeelwillneverbeoftheslightestinterestorconsequencetomehavebeeninsisteduponwithalmosttiresomereiteration。Mattersthatshouldbeusefulandhelpfultome——
  gunpowder,totakebutoneexample——Ihavebeenleftinignoranceconcerning。AboutallthatIsaynothing;peoplehavedonetheirbestaccordingtotheirlights,nodoubt。When,however,wecometopurityofmotives,singlenessofintention,then,Imaintain,Iamabovereproach。TheproofofthisisthatProvidencehasbestoweduponmethesealofitsapproval:Iwasnotblownup。Hadmyconductbeenopentocensure——asincertainquartershasbeensuggested——shouldIbewalkingbesidesyounow,undamaged——notahairturned,asthesayingis?No。DiscriminatingFate——thatis,ifanyrelianceatallistobeplacedonliteraturefortheyoung——wouldhavemadeitherbusinessthatatleastIwasincludedinthedebris。
  Instead,whatdowenotice!——ashatteredchimney,aruinedstove,brokenwindows,awreckageofhouseholdutensils;I,aloneofallthings,miraculouslypreserved。Idonotwishtopressthepointoffensively,butreallyitwouldalmostseemthatitmustbeyouthree——you,mydearparent,uponwhomwillfallthebillforrepairs;
  Dick,apttoattachtoomuchimportance,maybe,tohisvictuals,andwhoforthenextfewdayswillbecompelledtoexistchieflyupontinnedgoods;Robina,bynatureofaworryingdisposition,certaintillthingsgetstraightagaintobenextdoortooffherhead——whomust,byreasonofconductintowhichIdonotenquire,havemeritedchastisementatthehandsofProvidence。Themorallessonwouldcertainlyappeartobebetweenyouthree。I——itgrowscleartome——
  havebeenthroughoutbuttheinnocentinstrument。"
  Admitthepremisethattobevirtuousistoescapewhipping,theargumentislogical。Ifeltthatleftuncombateditmightleadusintoyetfurthertrouble。
  "Veronica,"Isaid,"thetimehascometorevealtoyouasecret:
  literatureisnotalwaysasafeguidetolife。"
  "Youmean——"saidVeronica。
  "Imean,"Isaid,"thatthewriterofbooksis,generallyspeaking,anexceptionallymoralman。Thatiswhatleadshimastray:heistoogood。Thisworlddoesnotcomeuptohisideas。Itisnottheworldashewouldhavemadeithimself。Tosatisfyhiscravingformoralityhesetstoworktomakeaworldofhisown。Itisnotthisworld。Itisnotabitlikethisworld。Inaworldasitshouldbe,Veronica,youwouldundoubtedlyhavebeenblownup——ifnotaltogether,atalleventspartially。Whatyouhavetodo,Veronica,is,withafullheart,topraiseHeaventhatthisisnotaperfectworld。IfitwereIdoubtverymuch,Veronica,yourbeinghere。
  Thatyouareherehappyandthrivingprovesthatallisnotasitshouldbe。Thebullofthisworld,feelinghewantstotosssomebody,doesnotsituponhimself,sotospeak,tillthewickedchildcomesby。Hetakesthefirstchildthatturnsup,andthanksGodforit。Ahundredtooneitisthebestchildformilesaround。
  Thebulldoesnotcare。Hespoilsthatpatternchild。He’dspoilabishop,feelingashedoesthatmorning。Yourlittlefriendinthevelvetsuitwhodidgethimselfblownup,atalleventsasregardsthesuit——Whichofyouwasitthatthoughtofthatgunpowder,youorhe?"
  Veronicaclaimedthattheinspirationhadbeenhers。
  "Icaneasilybelieveit。Andwasheanxioustostealthegunpowderandputitonthefire,ordidhehavetobepersuaded?"
  Veronicaadmittedthatinthequalitiesofafirst—classherohewaswanting。Nottillithadbeensuggestedtohimthathemustatheartbeacowardycowardycustardhadhebeenmovedtotakeahandintheenterprise。
  "Alad,clearly,"Icontinued,"thatlefttohimselfwouldbeacomforttohisfriends。Andthestoryoftherobbers——yourinventionorhis?"
  Veronicawasgenerouslyofopinionthathemighthavethoughtofithadhenotbeenchieflyconcernedatthemomentwiththeideaofgettinghometohismother。Asitwas,theclothingwithromanceofincidentsotherwisebaldanduninterestinghadfallenuponher。
  "Thegoodchildofthestory。Thefactstandsoutateverypoint。
  Hisonefailinganamiableweakness。Doyounotseeitforyourself;
  Veronica?Inthebook,you,nothe,wouldhavetumbledoverthemat。
  Inthiswickedworlditisthewickedwhoprosper。He,theinnocent,thevirtuous,istornintorags。You,thevillainofthestory,escape。"
  "Isee,"saidVeronica;"thenwhenevernothinghappenstoyouthatmeansthatyou’reawrong’un。"
  "Idon’tgosofarastosaythat,Veronica。AndIwishyouwouldn’tuseslang。Dickisaman,andaman——well,nevermindaboutaman。
  You,Veronica,mustneverforgetthatyou’realady。Justicemustnotbelookedforinthisworld。Sometimesthewickedgetwhattheydeserve。Moreoftentheydon’t。Thereseemstobenorule。Followthedictatesofyourconscience,Veronica,andblow——Imeanbeindifferenttotheconsequences。Sometimesyou’llcomeoutallright,andsometimesyouwon’t。Butthebeautifulsensationwillalwaysbewithyou:Ididright。Thingshaveturnedoutunfortunately:butthat’snotmyfault。Nobodycanblameme。"
  "Buttheydo,"saidVeronica,"theyblameyoujustasifyou’dmeanttogoanddoit。"
  "Itdoesnotmatter,Veronica,"Ipointedout,"theopinionoftheworld。Thegoodmandisregardsit。"
  "Buttheysendyoutobed,"persistedVeronica。
  "Letthem,"Isaid。"WhatisbedsolongasthevoiceoftheinwardMonitorconsolesuswiththereflection——"
  "Butitdon’t,"interruptedVeronica;"itmakesyoufeelallthemadder。Itdoesreally。"
  "Itoughtn’tto,"Itoldher。
  "Thenwhydoesit?"arguedVeronica。"Whydon’titdowhatitoughtto?"
  Thetroubleaboutarguingwithchildrenisthattheywillarguetoo。
  "Life’sadifficultproblem,Veronica,"Iallowed。"Thingsarenotastheyoughttobe,Iadmitit。Butonemustnotdespair。
  Something’sgottobedone。"
  "It’sjollyhardonsomeofus,"saidVeronica。"Striveasyoumay,youcan’tpleaseeveryone。Andifyoujustasmuchasstandupforyourself,oh,crikey!"
  "Thedutyofthegrown—upperson,Veronica,"Isaid,"istobringupthechildinthewaythatitshouldgo。Itisn’teasywork,andoccasionallyirritabilitymaycreepin。"
  "There’ssuchalotof’ematit,"grumbledVeronica。"Therearetimes,between’emall,whenyoudon’tknowwhetheryou’restandingonyourheadoryourheels。"
  "Theymeanwell,Veronica,"Isaid。"WhenIwasalittleboyIusedtothinkjustasyoudo。Butnow——"
  "Didyouevergetintorows?"interruptedVeronica。
  "DidIever?——wasneveroutofthem,sofarasIcanrecollect。Ifitwasn’tonething,thenitwasanother。"
  "Anddidn’titmakeyouwild?"enquiredVeronica,"whenfirstofallthey’daskwhatyou’dgottosayandwhyyou’ddoneit,andthen,whenyoutriedtoexplainthingstothem,wouldn’tlistentoyou?"
  "Whatusedtoirritatememost,Veronica,"Ireplied——"Icanrememberitsowell——waswhentheytalkedsteadilyforhalfanhourthemselves,andthen,whenIwouldattemptwithonesentencetoputthemrightaboutthething,turnroundandbully—ragmeforbeingargumentative。"
  "Iftheywouldonlylisten,"agreedVeronica,"youmightgetthemtograspthings。Butno,theytalkandtalk,tillattheendtheydon’tknowwhattheyaretalkingaboutthemselves,andthentheypretendit’syourfaultforhavingmadethemtired。"
  "Iknow,"Isaid,"theyalwaysenduplikethat。’Iamtiredoftalkingtoyou,’theysay——asifwewerenottiredoflisteningtothem!"
  "Andthenwhenyouthink,"saidVeronica,"theysayyououghtn’ttothink。Andifyoudon’tthink,andletitoutbyaccident,thentheysay’whydon’tyouthink?’Itdon’tseemasthoughwecoulddoright。Itmakesonealmostdespair。"
  "Anditisn’tevenasiftheywerealwaysrightthemselves,"I
  pointedouttoher。"Whentheyknockoveraglassitis,’Whoputthatglassthere?’You’dthinkthatsomebodyhadputitthereonpurposeandmadeitinvisible。Theyarenotexpectedtoseeaglasssixinchesinfrontoftheirnose,intheplacewheretheglassoughttobe。Thewaytheytalkyou’dsupposethataglasshadnobusinessonatable。IfIbrokeit,thenitwasalways,’Clumsylittledevil!
  oughttohavehisdinnerinthenursery。’Iftheymislaytheirthingsandcan’tfindthem,it’s,’Who’sbeeninterferingwithmythings?Who’sbeeninhererummagingabout?’Thenwhentheyfindittheywanttoknowindignantlywhoputitthere。IfIcouldnotfindathing,forthesimplereasonthatsomebodyhadtakenitawayandputitsomewhereelse,thenwherevertheyhadputitwastherightplaceforit,andIwasalittleidiotfornotknowingit。"
  "Andofcourseyoumustn’tsayanything,"commentedVeronica。"Oh,no!Iftheydosomethingsillyandyoujustpointitouttothem,thenthereisalwaysareasonforitthatyouwouldn’tunderstand。
  Oh,yes!Andifyoumakejusttheslightestmistake,likewhatisnaturaltoallofus,thatisbecauseyouarewickedandunfeelinganddon’twanttobeanythingelse。"
  "Iwilltellyouwhatwewilldo,Veronica,"Isaid;"wewillwriteabook。Youshallhelpme。Andinitthechildrenshallbethewiseandgoodpeoplewhonevermakemistakes,andtheyshallbosstheshow——youknowwhatImean——lookafterthegrown—uppeopleandbringthemupproperly。Andeverythingthegrown—uppeopledo,ordon’tdo,willbewrong。"
  Veronicaclappedherhands。"No,willyoureally?"shesaid。"Oh,do。"
  "Iwillreally,"Ianswered。"Wewillcallitamoraltaleforparents;andallthechildrenwillbuyitandgiveittotheirfathersandmothersandsuch—likefolkfortheirbirthdays,withwritingonthetitle—page,’FromJohnny,orJenny,todearPapa,ortodearAunty,witheverygoodwishforhisorherimprovement!’"
  "Doyouthinktheywillreadit?"doubtedVeronica。
  "Wewillputinitsomethingshocking,"Isuggested,"andgetsomepapertodenounceitasadisgracetoEnglishliterature。Andifthatwon’tdoitwewillsayitisatranslationfromtheRussian。
  Thechildrenshallstopathomeandarrangewhattohavefordinner,andthegrown—uppeopleshallbesenttoschool。Wewillstartthemoffeachmorningwithalittlesatchel。Theyshallbemadetoread’Grimm’sFairyTales’intheoriginalGerman,withnotes;andlearn’OldMotherHubbard’byheartandexplainthegrammar。"
  "Andgotobedearly,"suggestedVeronica。
  "Wewillhavethemallinbedbyeighto’clock,Veronica,andtheywillgocheerfully,asiftheylikedit,orwewillknowthereasonwhy。Wewillmakethemsaytheirprayers。Betweenourselves,Veronica,Idon’tbelievetheyalwaysdo。Andnoreadinginbed,andnofinalglassofwhiskytoddy,oranynonsenseofthatsort。AnAbernethybiscuitandperhapsiftheyaregoodajujube,andthen’Goodnight,’anddownwiththeirheadonthepillow。Andnocallingout,andnopretendingtheyhavegotapainintheirtummyandcreepingdownstairsintheirnight—shirtsandclamouringforbrandy。
  Wewillbeuptoalltheirtricks。"
  "Andthey’llhavetotaketheirmedicine,"Veronicaremembered。
  "Theslightestsuggestionofsulkiness,thefirstintimationthattheyarenotenjoyingthemselves,willmeancodliveroilinatablespoon,Veronica。"
  "Andwewillaskthemwhytheyneverusetheircommonsense,"chirpedVeronica。
  "Thatwillbeourtrouble,Veronica;thattheywon’thaveanysenseofanysort——notwhatweshalldeemsense。But,nevertheless,wewillbejust。Wewillalwaysgivethemareasonwhytheyhavegottodoeverythingtheydon’twanttodo,andnothingthattheywanttodo。Theywon’tunderstanditandtheywon’tagreethatitisareason;buttheywillkeepthattothemselves,iftheyarewise。"
  "Andofcoursetheymustnotargue,"Veronicainsisted。
  "Iftheyanswerback,Veronica,thatwillshowtheyarecursedwithanargumentativetemperamentwhichmustberootedoutatanycost,"I
  agreed;"andiftheydon’tsayanything,thatwillprovethempossessedofasurlydispositionwhichmustbecheckedatonce,beforeitdevelopsintoavice。"
  "Andwhateverwedotothemwewilltellthemit’sfortheirowngood,"Veronicachortled。
  "Ofcourseitwillbefortheirowngood,"Ianswered。"Thatwillbeourchiefpleasure——makingthemgoodandhappy。Itwon’tbetheirpleasure,butthatwillbeowingtotheirignorance。"
  "Theywillbegratefultouslateron,"gurgledVeronica。
  "Withthatassurancewewillcomfortthemfromtimetotime,"I
  answered。"Wewillbegoodtotheminallways。Wewillletthemplaygames——notstupidgames,golfandcroquet,thatdoyounogoodandleadonlytolanguageanddispute——butbearsandwolvesandwhales;educationalsortofgamesthatwillaidtheminacquiringknowledgeofnaturalhistory。WewillshowthemhowtoplayPiratesandRedIndiansandOgres——sensibleplaythatwillhelpthemtodeveloptheirimaginativefaculties。Thatiswhygrown—uppeoplearesodull;theyarenevermadetothink。Butnowandthen,"I
  continued,"wewillletthemplaytheirowngames,sayonWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons。Wewillinviteothergrown—upstocometoteawiththem,andletthemflirtinthegarden,orifwetmakeloveinthedining—room,tillnursecomesforthem。Butwe,ofcourse,mustchoosetheirfriendsforthem——nice,well—behavedladiesandgentlemen,theparentsofrespectablechildren;becauselefttothemselves——well,youknowwhattheyare!Theywouldjustaslikelyfallinlovewithquiteundesirablepeople——menandwomenwecouldnotthinkofhavingaboutthehouse。Wewillselectforthemcompanionswefeelsurewillbethemostsuitableforthem;andiftheydon’tlikethem——ifUncleWilliamsayshecan’tbearthegirlwehaveinviteduptolovehim——thathepositivelyhatesher,wetilltellhimthatitisonlyhiswilfultemper,andthathe’sgottolikeherbecauseshe’sgoodforhim;anddon’tletushaveanyofhisfretfulness。AndifGrandmammapoutsandsaysshewon’tloveoldmanJonesmerelybecausehe’sgotarednose,oraglasseye,orsomesillyreasonofthatsort,wewillsaytoher:’Allright,mylady,youwillplaywithMr。Jonesandbenicetohim,oryouwillspendtheafternoonputtingyourroomtidy;makeupyourmind。’Wewillletthemmarry(onWednesdayandSaturdayafternoons),andplayatkeepinghouse。Andiftheyquarrelwewillshakethemandtakethebabiesawayfromthem,andlockthemupindrawers,andtellthemtheysha’n’thavethemagaintilltheyaregood。"
  "Andthemoretheytrytobegood,themoreitwillturnoutthattheyain’tbeengood,"Veronicareflected。
  "Theirgoodnessandtheirbadnesswilldependuponusinmoresensesthanone,Veronica,"Iexplained。"WhenConsolsaredown,whentheeastwindhastouchedupourliver,theywillbesurprisedhowbadtheyare。"
  "Andtheymustn’teverforgetwhatthey’veeverbeenoncetold,"
  crowedVeronica。"Wemustn’thavetotell’emthesamethingoverandoveragain,likewewastalkingtobrickwalls。"
  "Andifwemeanttotellthemandforgottotellthem,"Iadded,"wewilltellthemthattheyoughtnottowantustotellthemasimplethinglikethat,asiftheyweremerebabies。Wemustrememberallthesepoints。"
  "Andiftheygrumblewe’lltellthemthat’s’costheydon’tknowhowhappytheyare。Andwe’lltellthemhowgoodweusedtobewhen——I
  say,don’tyoumissyourtrain,orIshallgetintoarow。"
  "GreatScott!I’dforgottenallaboutthattrain,Veronica,"I
  admitted。
  "Betterrun,"suggestedVeronica。
  Itsoundedgoodadvice。
  "Keeponthinkingaboutthatbook,"shoutedVeronica。
  "Makeanoteofthingsastheyoccurtoyou,"Ishoutedback。
  "Whatshallwecallit?"Veronicascreamed。
  "’WhytheManintheMoonlookssatupon,’"Ishrieked。
  WhenIturnedagainshewassittingonthetoprailofthestileconductinganimaginaryorchestrawithoneofherownshoes。Thesix—fifteenwasfortunatelytwentyminuteslate。
  IthoughtitbesttotellEthelberthathetruth;thatthingshadgonewrongwiththekitchenstove。
  "Letmeknowtheworst,"shesaid。"IsVeronicahurt?"
  "Theworst,"Isaid,"isthatIshallhavetopayforanewrange。
  Why,whenanythinggoesamiss,poorVeronicashouldbeassumedasamatterofcoursetobeinit,appearstomeunjust。"
  "Youaresureshe’sallright?"persistedEthelbertha。
  "HonestInjun——confoundthosechildrenandtheirslang——Imeanpositively,"Ianswered。TheLittleMotherlookedrelieved。
  Itoldherallthetroublewehadhadinconnectionwiththecow。