ADVERTISEMENT
　　Thestoryof"Catherine，"whichappearedinFraser’sMagazinein1839—40，waswrittenbyMr。Thackeray，underthenameofIkeySolomons，Jun。，tocounteracttheinjuriousinfluenceofsomepopularfictionsofthatday，whichmadeheroesofhighwaymenandburglars，andcreatedafalsesympathyfortheviciousandcriminal。
　　Withthispurpose，theauthorchoseforthesubjectofhisstoryawomannamedCatherineHayes，whowasburnedatTyburn，in1726，forthedeliberatemurderofherhusband，underveryrevoltingcircumstances。Mr。Thackeray’saimobviouslywastodescribethecareerofthiswretchedwomanandherassociateswithsuchfidelitytotruthastoexhibitthedangerandfollyofinvestingsuchpersonswithheroicandromanticqualities。
　　CHAPTERI。Introducingtothereaderthechiefpersonagesofthisnarrative。
　　Atthatfamousperiodofhistory，whentheseventeenthcentury（afteradealofquarrelling，king—killing，reforming，republicanising，restoring，re—restoring，play—writing，sermon—
　　writing，Oliver—Cromwellising，Stuartising，andOrangising，tobesure）hadsunkintoitsgrave，givingplacetothelustyeighteenth；
　　whenMr。IsaacNewtonwasatutorofTrinity，andMr。JosephAddisonCommissionerofAppeals；whenthepresidinggeniusthatwatchedoverthedestiniesoftheFrenchnationhadplayedoutallthebestcardsinhishand，andhisadversariesbegantopourintheirtrumps；whenthereweretwokingsinSpainemployedperpetuallyinrunningawayfromoneanother；whentherewasaqueeninEngland，withsuchroguesforMinistersashaveneverbeenseen，no，notinourownday；andaGeneral，ofwhomitmaybeseverelyargued，whetherhewasthemeanestmiserorthegreatestherointheworld；whenMrs。
　　MashamhadnotyetputMadamMarlborough’snoseoutofjoint；whenpeoplehadtheirearscutoffforwritingverymeekpoliticalpamphlets；andverylargefull—bottomedwigswerejustbeginningtobewornwithpowder；andthefaceofLouistheGreat，ashiswashandedintohimbehindthebed—curtains，was，whenissuingthence，observedtolooklonger，older，andmoredismaldaily……
　　AbouttheyearOnethousandsevenhundredandfive，thatis，inthegloriousreignofQueenAnne，thereexistedcertaincharacters，andbefellaseriesofadventures，which，sincetheyarestrictlyinaccordancewiththepresentfashionablestyleandtaste；sincetheyhavebeenalreadypartlydescribedinthe"NewgateCalendar；"sincetheyare（asshallbeseenanon）agreeablylow，delightfullydisgusting，andatthesametimeeminentlypleasingandpathetic，mayproperlybesetdownhere。
　　Andthoughitmaybesaid，withsomeconsiderableshowofreason，thatagreeablylowanddelightfullydisgustingcharactershavealreadybeentreated，bothcopiouslyandably，bysomeeminentwritersofthepresent（and，indeed，offuture）ages；thoughtotreadinthefootstepsoftheimmortalFAGINrequiresageniusofinordinatestride，andtogoa—robbingafterthelatethoughdeathlessTURPIN，therenownedJACKSHEPPARD，ortheembryoDUVAL，maybeimpossible，andnotaninfringement，butawastefulindicationofill—willtowardstheeighthcommandment；thoughitmay，ontheonehand，beassertedthatonlyvaincoxcombswoulddaretowriteonsubjectsalreadydescribedbymenreallyanddeservedlyeminent；ontheotherhand，thatthesesubjectshavebeendescribedsofully，thatnothingmorecanbesaidaboutthem；onthethirdhand（allowing，forthesakeofargument，threehandstoonefigureofspeech），thatthepublichasheardsomuchofthem，astobequitetiredofrogues，thieves，cutthroats，andNewgatealtogether；——thoughalltheseobjectionsmaybeurged，andeachisexcellent，yetweintendtotakeafewmorepagesfromthe"OldBaileyCalendar，"toblessthepublicwithonemoredraughtfromtheStoneJug：*——yetawhiletolisten，hurdle—mounted，andridingdowntheOxfordRoad，totheblandconversationofJackKetch，andtohangwithhimroundtheneckofhispatient，attheendofourandhishistory。Wegivethereaderfairnotice，thatweshallticklehimwithafewsuchscenesofvillainy，throat—cutting，andbodilysufferingingeneral，asarenottobefound，no，notin——；nevermindcomparisons，forsuchareodious。
　　*This，asyourLadyshipisaware，isthepolitenameforHerMajesty’sPrisonofNewgate。
　　Intheyear1705，then，whetheritwasthattheQueenofEnglanddidfeelseriouslyalarmedatthenotionthataFrenchprinceshouldoccupytheSpanishthrone；orwhethershewastenderlyattachedtotheEmperorofGermany；orwhethershewasobligedtofightoutthequarrelofWilliamofOrange，whomadeuspayandfightforhisDutchprovinces；orwhetherpooroldLouisQuatorzedidreallyfrightenher；orwhetherSarahJenningsandherhusbandwantedtomakeafight，knowinghowmuchtheyshouldgainbyit；——whateverthereasonwas，itwasevidentthatthewarwastocontinue，andtherewasalmostasmuchsoldieringandrecruiting，parading，pikeandgun—exercising，flag—flying，drum—beating，powder—blazing，andmilitaryenthusiasm，aswecanallrememberintheyear1801，whattimetheCorsicanupstartmenacedourshores。Arecruiting—partyandcaptainofCutts’sregiment（whichhadbeensomangledatBlenheimtheyearbefore）werenowinWarwickshire；andhavingtheirdepotatWarwick，thecaptainandhisattendant，thecorporal，wereusedtotravelthroughthecountry，seekingforheroestofillupthegapsinCutts’scorps，——andforadventurestopassawaythewearytimeofacountrylife。
　　OurCaptainPlumeandSergeantKite（itwasatthistime，bytheway，thatthosefamousrecruiting—officerswereplayingtheirpranksinShrewsbury）wereoccupiedverymuchinthesamemannerwithFarquhar’sheroes。TheyroamedfromWarwicktoStratford，andfromStratfordtoBirmingham，persuadingtheswainsofWarwickshiretoleavetheploughforthePike，anddespatching，fromtimetotime，smalldetachmentsofrecruitstoextendMarlborough’slines，andtoactasfoodforthehungrycannonatRamilliesandMalplaquet。
　　Ofthosetwogentlemenwhoareabouttoactaveryimportantpartinourhistory，oneonlywasprobablyanativeofBritain，——wesayprobably，becausetheindividualinquestionwashimselfquiteuncertain，and，itmustbeadded，entirelyindifferentabouthisbirthplace；butspeakingtheEnglishlanguage，andhavingbeenduringthecourseofhislifeprettygenerallyengagedintheBritishservice，hehadatolerablyfairclaimtothemajestictitleofBriton。HisnamewasPeterBrock，otherwiseCorporalBrock，ofLordCutts’sregimentofdragoons；hewasofageaboutfifty—seven（eventhatpointhasneverbeenascertained）；inheightaboutfivefeetsixinches；inweight，nearlythirteenstone；withachestthatthecelebratedLeitchhimselfmightenvy；anarmthatwaslikeanopera—dancer’sleg；astomachsoelasticthatitwouldaccommodateitselftoanygivenorstolenquantityoffood；agreataptitudeforstrongliquors；aconsiderableskillinsingingchansonsdetableofnotthemostdelicatekind；hewasaloverofjokes，ofwhichhemademany，andpassablybad；whenpleased，simplycoarse，boisterous，andjovial；whenangry，aperfectdemon：bullying，cursing，storming，fighting，asissometimesthewontwithgentlemenofhisclothandeducation。
　　Mr。Brockwasstrictly，whattheMarquisofRodilstyledhimselfinaproclamationtohissoldiersafterrunningaway，ahijodelaguerra——achildofwar。Notsevencities，butoneortworegiments，mightcontendforthehonourofgivinghimbirth；forhismother，whosenamehetook，hadactedascamp—followertoaRoyalistregiment；hadthenobeyedtheParliamentarians；diedinScotlandwhenMonkwascommandinginthatcountry；andthefirstappearanceofMr。BrockinapubliccapacitydisplayedhimasafiferintheGeneral’sownregimentofColdstreamers，whentheymarchedfromScotlandtoLondon，andfromarepublicatonceintoamonarchy。
　　Sincethatperiod，Brockhadbeenalwayswiththearmy，hehadhad，too，somepromotion，forhespakeofhavingacommandatthebattleoftheBoyne；thoughprobably（ashenevermentionedthefact）uponthelosingside。Theveryyearbeforethisnarrativecommences，hehadbeenoneofMordaunt’sforlornhopeatSchellenberg，forwhichservicehewaspromisedapairofcolours；helostthem，however，andwasalmostshot（butfatedidnotordainthathiscareershouldcloseinthatway）fordrunkennessandinsubordinationimmediatelyafterthebattle；buthavinginsomemeasurereinstatedhimselfbyadisplayofmuchgallantryatBlenheim，itwasfoundadvisabletosendhimtoEnglandforthepurposesofrecruiting，andremovehimaltogetherfromtheregimentwherehisgallantryonlyrenderedtheexampleofhisriotmoredangerous。
　　Mr。Brock’scommanderwasaslimyounggentlemanoftwenty—six，aboutwhomtherewaslikewiseahistory，ifonewouldtakethetroubletoinquire。HewasaBavarianbybirth（hismotherbeinganEnglishlady），andenjoyedalongwithadozenotherbrothersthetitleofcount：elevenofthese，ofcourse，werepenniless；oneortwowerepriests，oneamonk，sixorseveninvariousmilitaryservices，andtheelderathomeatSchlossGalgensteinbreedinghorses，huntingwildboars，swindlingtenants，livinginagreathousewithsmallmeans；obligedtobesordidathomealltheyear，tobesplendidforamonthatthecapital，asisthewaywithmanyothernoblemen。Ouryoungcount，CountGustavusAdolphusMaximilianvonGalgenstein，hadbeenintheserviceoftheFrenchaspagetoanobleman；thenofHisMajesty’sgardesducorps；thenalieutenantandcaptainintheBavarianservice；andwhen，afterthebattleofBlenheim，tworegimentsofGermanscameovertothewinningside，GustavusAdolphusMaximilianfoundhimselfamongthem；andattheepochwhenthisstorycommences，hadenjoyedEnglishpayforayearormore。Itisunnecessarytosayhowheexchangedintohispresentregiment；howitappearedthat，beforehermarriage，handsomeJohnChurchillhadknowntheyounggentleman’smother，whentheywerebothpennilesshangers—onatCharlestheSecond’scourt；——itis，wesay，quiteuselesstorepeatallthescandalofwhichweareperfectlymasters，andtotracestepbysteptheeventsofhishistory。Here，however，wasGustavusAdolphus，inasmallinn，inasmallvillageofWarwickshire，onanautumneveningintheyear1705；andattheverymomentwhenthishistorybegins，heandMr。
　　Brock，hiscorporalandfriend，wereseatedataroundtablebeforethekitchen—firewhileasmallgroomoftheestablishmentwasleadingupanddownonthevillagegreen，beforetheinndoor，twoblack，glossy，long—tailed，barrel—bellied，thick—flanked，arch—necked，Roman—nosedFlandershorses，whichwerethepropertyofthetwogentlemennowtakingtheireaseatthe"BugleInn。"Thetwogentlemenwereseatedattheireaseattheinntable，drinkingmountain—wine；andifthereaderfanciesfromthesketchwhichwehavegivenoftheirlives，orfromhisownblindnessandbeliefintheperfectibilityofhumannature，thatthesunofthatautumneveningshoneuponanytwomenincountyorcity，atdeskorharvest，atCourtoratNewgate，drunkorsober，whoweregreaterrascalsthanCountGustavusGalgensteinandCorporalPeterBrock，heisegregiouslymistaken，andhisknowledgeofhumannatureisnotworthafig。Iftheyhadnotbeentwoprominentscoundrels，whatearthlybusinessshouldwehaveindetailingtheirhistories？Whatwouldthepubliccareforthem？Whowouldmeddlewithdullvirtue，humdrumsentiment，orstupidinnocence，whenvice，agreeablevice，istheonlythingwhichthereadersofromancescaretohear？
　　Thelittlehorse—boy，whowasleadingthetwoblackFlandershorsesupanddownthegreen，mighthaveputtheminthestableforanygoodthatthehorsesgotbythegentleexercisewhichtheywerenowtakinginthecooleveningair，astheirownershadnotriddenveryfarorveryhard，andtherewasnotahairturnedoftheirsleekshiningcoats；buttheladhadbeenespeciallyorderedsotowalkthehorsesaboutuntilhereceivedfurthercommandsfromthegentlemenreposinginthe"Bugle"kitchen；andtheidlersofthevillageseemedsopleasedwiththebeasts，andtheirsmartsaddlesandshiningbridles，thatitwouldhavebeenapitytodeprivethemofthepleasureofcontemplatingsuchaninnocentspectacle。OvertheCount’shorsewasthrownafineredcloth，richlyembroideredinyellowworsted，averylargecount’scoronetandacipheratthefourcornersofthecovering；andunderthismightbeseenapairofgorgeoussilverstirrups，andaboveit，acoupleofsilver—mountedpistolsreposinginbearskinholsters；thebitwassilvertoo，andthehorse’sheadwasdecoratedwithmanysmartribbons。OftheCorporal’ssteed，sufficeittosay，thattheornamentswereinbrass，asbright，thoughnotperhapssovaluable，asthosewhichdecoratedtheCaptain’sanimal。Theboys，whohadbeenatplayonthegreen，firstpausedandenteredintoconversationwiththehorse—boy；thenthevillagematronsfollowed；andafterwards，saunteringbyonesandtwos，camethevillagemaidens，wholovesoldiersasflieslovetreacle；presentlythemalesbegantoarrive，andlo！theparsonoftheparish，takinghiseveningwalkwithMrs。
　　Dobbs，andthefourchildrenhisoffspring，atlengthjoinedhimselftohisflock。
　　Tothisaudiencethelittleostlerexplainedthattheanimalsbelongedtotwogentlemennowreposingatthe"Bugle："oneyoungwithgoldhair，theotheroldwithgrizzledlocks；bothinredcoats；bothinjack—boots；puttingthehouseintoabustle，andcallingforthebest。Hethendiscoursedtosomeofhisowncompanionsregardingthemeritsofthehorses；andtheparson，alearnedman，explainedtothevillagers，thatoneofthetravellersmustbeacount，oratleasthadacount’shorsecloth；pronouncedthatthestirrupswereofrealsilver，andcheckedtheimpetuosityofhisson，WilliamNassauDobbs，whowasformountingtheanimals，andwhoexpressedalongingtofireoffoneofthepistolsintheholsters。
　　Asthisfamilydiscussionwastakingplace，thegentlemenwhoseappearancehadcreatedsomuchattentioncametothedooroftheinn，andtheelderandstouterwasseentosmileathiscompanion；
　　afterwhichhestrolledleisurelyoverthegreen，andseemedtoexaminewithmuchbenevolentsatisfactiontheassemblageofvillagerswhowerestaringathimandthequadrupeds。
　　Mr。Brock，whenhesawtheparson’sbandandcassock，tookoffhisbeaverreverently，andsalutedthedivine："Ihopeyourreverencewon’tbaulkthelittlefellow，"saidhe；"IthinkIheardhimcallingoutforaride，andwhetherheshouldlikemyhorse，orhisLordship’shorse，Iamsureitisallone。Don’tbeafraid，sir！
　　thehorsesarenottired；wehaveonlycomeseventymileto—day，andPrinceEugeneoncerodeamatteroffifty—twoleagues（ahundredandfiftymiles），sir，uponthathorse，betweensunriseandsunset。"
　　"Graciouspowers！onwhichhorse？"saidDoctorDobbs，verysolemnly。
　　"OnTHIS，sir，——onmine，CorporalBrockofCutts’sblackgelding，’WilliamofNassau。’ThePrince，sir，gaveitmeafterBlenheimfight，forIhadmyownlegscarriedawaybyacannon—ball，justasIcutdowntwoofSauerkrauter’sregiment，whohadmadethePrinceprisoner。"
　　"Yourownlegs，sir！"saidtheDoctor。"Graciousgoodness！thisismoreandmoreastonishing！"
　　"No，no，notmyownlegs，myhorse’sImean，sir；andthePrincegaveme’WilliamofNassau’thatveryday。"
　　Tothisnodirectreplywasmade；buttheDoctorlookedatMrs。
　　Dobbs，andMrs。Dobbsandtherestofthechildrenathereldestson，whogrinnedandsaid，"Isn’titwonderful？"TheCorporaltothisanswerednothing，but，resuminghisaccount，pointedtotheotherhorseandsaid，"THAThorse，sir——goodasmineis——thathorse，withthesilverstirrups，ishisExcellency’shorse，CaptainCountMaximilianGustavusAdolphusvonGalgenstein，captainofhorseandoftheHolyRomanEmpire"（heliftedherehishatwithmuchgravity，andallthecrowd，eventotheparson，didlikewise）。"Wecallhim’GeorgeofDenmark，’sir，incomplimenttoHerMajesty’shusband：
　　heisBlenheimtoo，sir；MarshalTallardrodehimonthatday，andyouknowhowHEwastakenprisonerbytheCount。"
　　"GeorgeofDenmark，MarshalTallard，WilliamofNassau！thisisstrangeindeed，mostwonderful！Why，sir，littleareyouawarethattherearebeforeyou，ATTHISMOMENT，twootherlivingbeingswhobeartheseveneratednames！Myboys，standforward！Lookhere，sir：thesechildrenhavebeenrespectivelynamedafterourlatesovereignandthehusbandofourpresentQueen。"
　　"Andverygoodnamestoo，sir；ay，andverynoblelittlefellowstoo；andIproposethat，withyourreverenceandyourladyship’sleave，WilliamNassauhereshallrideonGeorgeofDenmark，andGeorgeofDenmarkshallrideonWilliamofNassau。"
　　WhenthisspeechoftheCorporal’swasmade，thewholecrowdsetupaloyalhurrah；and，withmuchgravity，thetwolittleboyswereliftedupintothesaddles；andtheCorporalleadingone，entrustedtheothertothehorse—boy，andsotogethermarchedstatelyupanddownthegreen。
　　ThepopularitywhichMr。Brockgainedbythismanoeuvrewasverygreat；butwithregardtothenamesofthehorsesandchildren，whichcoincidedsoextraordinarily，itisbutfairtostate，thatthechristeningofthequadrupedshadonlytakenplaceabouttwominutesbeforethedragoon’sappearanceonthegreen。Forifthefactmustbeconfessed，he，whileseatedneartheinnwindow，hadkeptaprettywistfuleyeuponallgoingonwithout；andthehorsesmarchingthustoandfroforthewondermentofthevillage，wereonlyplacardsoradvertisementsfortheriders。
　　Therewas，besidestheboynowoccupiedwiththehorses，andthelandlordandlandladyofthe"BugleInn，"anotherpersonconnectedwiththatestablishment——averysmart，handsome，vain，gigglingservant—girl，abouttheageofsixteen，whowentbythefamiliarnameofCat，andattendeduponthegentlemenintheparlour，whilethelandladywasemployedincookingtheirsupperinthekitchen。
　　Thisyoungpersonhadbeeneducatedinthevillagepoor—house，andhavingbeenpronouncedbyDoctorDobbsandtheschoolmastertheidlest，dirtiest，andmostpassionatelittleminxwithwhomeitherhadeverhadtodo，shewas，afterreceivingaverysmallportionofliteraryinstruction（indeeditmustbestatedthattheyoungladydidnotknowherletters），boundapprenticeattheageofnineyearstoMrs。Score，herrelative，andlandladyofthe"BugleInn。"
　　IfMissCat，orCatherineHall，wasaslatternandaminx，Mrs。
　　Scorewasafarsuperiorshrew；andforthesevenyearsofherapprenticeshipthegirlwascompletelyathermistress’smercy。Yetthoughwondrouslystingy，jealous，andviolent，whilehermaidwasidleandextravagant，andherhusbandseemedtoabetthegirl，Mrs。
　　Scoreputupwiththewench’sairs，idleness，andcaprices，withouteverwishingtodismissherfromthe"Bugle。"Thefactis，thatMissCatherinewasagreatbeauty，andforabouttwoyears，sinceherfamehadbeguntospread，thecustomoftheinnhadalsoincreasedvastly。Whentherewasadebatewhetherthefarmers，ontheirwayfrommarket，wouldtaket’otherpot，Catherine，byappearingwithit，wouldstraightwaycausetheliquortobeswallowedandpaidfor；andwhenthetravellerwhoproposedridingthatnightandsleepingatCoventryorBirmingham，wasaskedbyMissCatherinewhetherhewouldlikeafireinhisbedroom，hegenerallywasinducedtooccupyit，althoughhemightbeforehavevowedtoMrs。Scorethathewouldnotforathousandguineasbeabsentfromhomethatnight。Thegirlhad，too，half—a—dozenloversinthevillage；andthesewereboundinhonourtospendtheirpenceatthealehousesheinhabited。Owoman，lovelywoman！whatstrongresolvescanstthoutwistroundthylittlefinger！whatgunpowderpassionscanstthoukindlewithasinglesparkleofthineeye！whatliesandfribblenonsensecanstthoumakeuslistento，astheyweregospeltruthorsplendidwit！aboveallwhatbadliquorcanstthoumakeusswallowwhenthouputtestakisswithinthecup——andwearecontenttocallthepoisonwine！
　　Themountain—wineatthe"Bugle"was，infact，execrable；butMrs。
　　Cat，whoservedittothetwosoldiers，madeitsoagreeabletothem，thattheyfounditapassable，evenapleasanttask，toswallowthecontentsofasecondbottle。Themiraclehadbeenwroughtinstantaneouslyonherappearance：forwhereasatthatverymomenttheCountwasemployedincursingthewine，thelandlady，thewine—grower，andtheEnglishnationgenerally，whentheyoungwomanenteredand（choosingsotointerprettheoaths）said，"Coming，yourhonour；Ithinkyourhonourcalled"——GustavusAdolphuswhistled，staredatherveryhard，andseemingquitedumb—strickenbyherappearance，contentedhimselfbyswallowingawholeglassofmountainbywayofreply。
　　Mr。Brockwas，however，bynomeanssoconfoundedashiscaptain：
　　hewasthirtyyearsolderthanthelatter，andinthecourseoffiftyyearsofmilitarylifehadlearnedtolookonthemostdangerousenemy，orthemostbeautifulwoman，withthelikedaring，devil—may—caredeterminationtoconquer。
　　"MydearMary，"thensaidthatgentleman，"hishonourisalord；asgoodasalord，thatis；forallheallowssuchhumblefellowsasI
　　amtodrinkwithhim。"
　　Catherinedroppedalowcurtsey，andsaid，"Well，Idon’tknowifyouarejokingapoorcountrygirl，asallyousoldiergentlemendo；
　　buthishonourLOOKSlikealord：thoughIneverseeone，tobesure。"
　　"Then，"saidtheCaptain，gatheringcourage，"howdoyouknowIlooklikeone，prettyMary？"
　　"PrettyCatherine：ImeanCatherine，ifyouplease，sir。"
　　HereMr。Brockburstintoaroaroflaughter，andshoutingwithmanyoathsthatshewasrightatfirst，invitedhertogivehimwhathecalledabuss。
　　PrettyCatherineturnedawayfromhimatthisrequest，andmutteredsomethingabout"Keepyourdistance，lowfellow！bussindeed；poorcountrygirl，"etc。etc。，placingherself，asifforprotection，onthesideoftheCaptain。Thatgentlemanlookedalsoveryangry；butwhetheratthesightofinnocencesooutraged，ortheinsolenceoftheCorporalfordaringtohelphimselffirst，wecannotsay。"Harkye，Mr。Brock，"hecriedveryfiercely，"Iwillsuffernosuchlibertiesinmypresence：remember，itisonlymycondescensionwhichpermitsyoutosharemybottleinthisway；takecareIdon’tgiveyouinsteadatasteofmycane。"Sosaying，he，inaprotectingmanner，placedonehandroundMrs。Catherine’swaist，holdingtheotherclenchedveryneartotheCorporal’snose。
　　Mrs。Catherine，forHERshareofthisactionoftheCount’s，droppedanothercurtseyandsaid，"Thankyou，myLord。"ButGalgenstein’sthreatdidnotappeartomakeanyimpressiononMr。
　　Brock，asindeedtherewasnoreasonthatitshould；fortheCorporal，atacombatoffisticuffs，couldhavepoundedhiscommanderintoajellyintenminutes；sohecontentedhimselfbysaying，"Well，nobleCaptain，there’snoharmdone；itISanhonourforpooroldPeterBrocktobeattablewithyou，andIAMsorry，sureenough。"
　　"Intruth，Peter，Ibelievethouart；thouhastgoodreason，eh，Peter？Butneverfear，man；hadIstruckthee，Ineverwouldhavehurtthee。"
　　"IKNOWyouwouldnot，"repliedBrock，layinghishandonhisheartwithmuchgravity；andsopeacewasmade，andhealthsweredrunk。
　　MissCatherinecondescendedtoputherlipstotheCaptain’sglass；
　　whosworethatthewinewasthusconvertedintonectar；andalthoughthegirlhadnotpreviouslyheardofthatliquor，shereceivedthecomplimentasacompliment，andsmiledandsimperedinreturn。
　　Thepoorthinghadneverbeforeseenanybodysohandsome，orsofinelydressedastheCount；and，inthesimplicityofhercoquetry，allowedhersatisfactiontobequitevisible。Nothingcouldbemoreclumsythanthegentleman’smodeofcomplimentingher；butforthis，perhaps，hisspeechesweremoreeffectivethanothersmoredelicatewouldhavebeen；andthoughshesaidtoeach，"Oh，now，myLord，"
　　and"La，Captain，howcanyouflatteroneso？"and"Yourhonour’slaughingatme，"andmadesuchpolitespeechesasareusedontheseoccasions，itwasmanifestfromtheflutterandblush，andthegrinofsatisfactionwhichlightedupthebuxomfeaturesofthelittlecountrybeauty，thattheCount’sfirstoperationshadbeenhighlysuccessful。Whenfollowinguphisattack，heproducedfromhisneckasmalllocket（whichhadbeengivenhimbyaDutchladyattheBrill），andbeggedMissCatherinetowearitforhissake，andchuckedherunderthechinandcalledherhislittlerosebud，itwasprettyclearhowthingswouldgo：anybodywhocouldseetheexpressionofMr。Brock’scountenanceatthiseventmightjudgeoftheprogressoftheirresistibleHigh—Dutchconqueror。
　　Beingofaveryvaincommunicativeturn，ourfairbarmaidgavehertwocompanions，notonlyaprettylongaccountofherself，butofmanyotherpersonsinthevillage，whomshecouldperceivefromthewindowoppositetowhichshestood。"Yes，yourhonour，"saidshe——
　　"myLord，Imean；sixteenlastMarch，thoughthere’samanygirlinthevillagethatatmyageisquitechits。There’sPollyRandallnow，thatred—hairedgirlalongwithThomasCurtis：she’sseventeenifshe’saday，thoughheistheveryfirstsweetheartshehashad。
　　Well，asIamsaying，Iwasbreduphereinthevillage——fatherandmotherdiedveryyoung，andIwasleftapoororphan——well，blessus！ifThomashaven’tkissedher！——tothecareofMrs。Score，myaunt，whohasbeenamothertome——astepmother，youknow；——andI’vebeentoStratfordfair，andtoWarwickmanyatime；andthere’stwopeoplewhohaveofferedtomarryme，andeversomanywhowantto，andIwon’thavenone——onlyagentleman，asI’vealwayssaid；notapoorclodpole，likeTomtherewiththeredwaistcoat（hewasonethataskedme），noradrunkenfellowlikeSamBlacksmithyonder，himwhosewifehasgottheblackeye，butarealgentleman，like——"
　　"Likewhom，mydear？"saidtheCaptain，encouraged。
　　"La，sir，howcanyou？Why，likeoursquire，SirJohn，whoridesinsuchamortalfinegoldcoach；or，atleast，liketheparson，DoctorDobbs——that’she，intheblackgown，walkingwithMadamDobbsinred。"
　　"Andarethosehischildren？"
　　"Yes：twogirlsandtwoboys；andonlythink，hecallsoneWilliamNassau，andoneGeorgeDenmark——isn’titodd？"Andfromtheparson，Mrs。Catherinewentontospeakofseveralhumblepersonagesofthevillagecommunity，who，astheyarenotnecessarytoourstory，neednotbedescribedatfulllength。Itwaswhen，fromthewindow，CorporalBrocksawthealtercationbetweentheworthydivineandhisson，respectingthelatter’sride，thathejudgeditafittingtimetostepoutonthegreen，andtobestowonthetwohorsesthosefamoushistoricalnameswhichwehavejustheardappliedtothem。
　　Mr。Brock’sdiplomacywas，aswehavestated，quitesuccessful；for，whentheparson’sboyshadriddenandretiredalongwiththeirmammaandpapa，otheryounggentlemenofhumblerrankinthevillagewereplacedupon"GeorgeofDenmark"and"WilliamofNassau；"theCorporaljokingandlaughingwithallthegrown—uppeople。Thewomen，inspiteofMr。Brock’sage，hisrednose，andacertainsquintofhiseye，vowedtheCorporalwasajewelofaman；andamongthemenhispopularitywasequallygreat。
　　"Howmuchdosttheeget，ThomasClodpole？"saidMr。Brocktoacountryman（hewasthemanwhomMrs。Catherinehaddescribedashersuitor），whohadlaughedloudestatsomeofhisjokes："howmuchdosttheegetforaweek’swork，now？"
　　Mr。Clodpole，whosenamewasreallyBullock，statedthathiswagesamountedto"threeshillingsandapuddn。"
　　"Threeshillingsandapuddn！——monstrous！——andforthisyoutoillikeagalley—slave，asIhaveseentheminTurkeyandAmerica，——ay，gentlemen，andinthecountryofPresterJohn！Youshiveroutofbedonicywintermornings，tobreaktheiceforBallandDappletodrink。"
　　"Yes，indeed，"saidthepersonaddressed，whoseemedastoundedattheextentoftheCorporal’sinformation。
　　"Oryoucleanpigsty，andtakedungdowntomeadow；oryouactwatchdogandtendsheep；oryousweepascytheoveragreatfieldofgrass；andwhenthesunhasscorchedtheeyesoutofyourhead，andsweatedthefleshoffyourbones，andwell—nighfriedthesouloutofyourbody，yougohome，towhat？——threeshillingsaweekandapuddn！Doyougetpuddingeveryday？"
　　"No；onlySundays。"
　　"Doyougetmoneyenough？"
　　"No，sure。"
　　"Doyougetbeerenough？"
　　"Ohno，NEVER！"saidMr。Bullockquiteresolutely。
　　"WorthyClodpole，giveusthyhand：itshallhavebeerenoughthisday，ormyname’snotCorporalBrock。Here’sthemoney，boy！therearetwentypiecesinthispurse：andhowdoyouthinkIgot’em？
　　andhowdoyouthinkIshallgetotherswhenthesearegone？——byservingHerSacredMajesty，tobesure：longlifetoher，anddownwiththeFrenchKing！"
　　Bullock，afewofthemen，andtwoorthreeoftheboys，pipedoutanhurrah，incomplimenttothisspeechoftheCorporal’s：butitwasremarkedthatthegreaterpartofthecrowddrewback——thewomenwhisperingominouslytothemandlookingattheCorporal。
　　"Isee，ladies，whatitis，"saidhe。"Youarefrightened，andthinkIamacrimpcometostealyoursweetheartsaway。What！callPeterBrockadouble—dealer？Itellyouwhat，boys，JackChurchillhimselfhasshakenthishand，anddrunkapotwithme：doyouthinkhe’dshakehandswitharogue？Here’sTummasClodpolehasneverhadbeerenough，andhereamIwillstandtreattohimandanyothergentleman：amIgoodenoughcompanyforhim？Ihavemoney，lookyou，andliketospendit：whatshould_I_bedoingdirtyactionsfor——hay，Tummas？"
　　Asatisfactoryreplytothisquerywasnot，ofcourse，expectedbytheCorporalnorutteredbyMr。Bullock；andtheendofthedisputewas，thatheandthreeorfouroftherusticbystanderswerequiteconvincedofthegoodintentionsoftheirnewfriend，andaccompaniedhimbacktothe"Bugle，"toregaleuponthepromisedbeer。AmongtheCorporal’sguestswasoneyoungfellowwhosedresswouldshowthathewassomewhatbettertodointheworldthanClodpoleandtherestofthesunburntraggedtroop，whoweremarchingtowardsthealehouse。Thismanwastheonlyoneofhishearerswho，perhaps，wasscepticalastothetruthofhisstories；
　　butassoonasBullockacceptedtheinvitationtodrink，JohnHayes，thecarpenter（forsuchwashisnameandprofession），said，"Well，Thomas，ifthougoest，Iwillgotoo。"
　　"Iknowtheewilt，"saidThomas："thou’ltgooanywhereCattyHallis，providedthoucanstgoofornothing。"
　　"Nay，IhaveapennytospendasgoodastheCorporalhere。"
　　"ApennytoKEEP，youmean：forallyourloveforthelassatthe’Bugle，’didtheeeverspendashillinginthehouse？Theewouldn’tgonow，butthatIamgoingtoo，andtheCaptainherestandstreat。"
　　"Come，come，gentlemen，noquarrelling，"saidMr。Brock。"Ifthisprettyfellowwilljoinus，amensayI：there’slotsofliquor，andplentyofmoneytopaythescore。ComradeTummas，giveusthyarm。
　　Mr。Hayes，you’reaheartycock，Imakenodoubt，andallsucharewelcome。Comealong，mygentlemanfarmers，Mr。Brockshallhavethehonourtopayforyouall。"Andwiththis，CorporalBrock，accompaniedbyMessrs。Hayes，Bullock，Blacksmith，Baker’s—boy，Butcher，andoneortwoothers，adjournedtotheinn；thehorsesbeing，atthesametime，conductedtothestable。
　　Althoughwehave，inthisquietway，andwithoutanyflourishingoftrumpets，orbeginningofchapters，introducedMr。Hayestothepublic；andalthough，atfirstsight，asneakingcarpenter’sboymayseemhardlyworthyofthenoticeofanintelligentreader，wholooksforagoodcut—throatorhighwaymanforahero，orapickpocketattheveryleast：thisgentleman’swordsandactionsshouldbecarefullystudiedbythepublic，asheisdestinedtoappearbeforethemunderverypoliteandcuriouscircumstancesduringthecourseofthishistory。ThespeechoftherusticJuvenal，Mr。Clodpole，hadseemedtoinferthatHayeswasatoncecarefulofhismoneyandawarmadmirerofMrs。Catherineofthe"Bugle："andboththechargeswereperfectlytrue。Hayes’sfatherwasreportedtobeamanofsomesubstance；andyoungJohn，whowasperforminghisapprenticeshipinthevillage，didnotfailtotalkverybigofhispretensionstofortune——ofhisentering，atthecloseofhisindentures，intopartnershipwithhisfather——andofthecomfortablefarmandhouseoverwhichMrs。JohnHayes，whoevershemightbe，wouldonedaypreside。Thus，nexttothebarberandbutcher，andaboveevenhisownmaster，Mr。Hayestookrankinthevillage：anditmustnotbeconcealedthathisrepresentationofwealthhadmadesomeimpressionuponMrs。Halltowardwhomtheyounggentlemanhadcasttheeyesofaffection。Ifhehadbeentolerablywell—looking，andnotpale，rickety，andfeebleashewas；ifevenhehadbeenugly，butwithalamanofspirit，itisprobablethegirl’skindnessforhimwouldhavebeenmuchmoredecided。Buthewasapoorweakcreature，nottocomparewithhonestThomasBullock，byatleastnineinches；andsonotoriouslytimid，selfish，andstingy，thattherewasakindofshameinreceivinghisaddressesopenly；andwhatencouragementMrs。Catherinegavehimcouldonlybeinsecret。
　　Butnomortaliswiseatalltimes：andthefactwas，thatHayes，whocaredforhimselfintensely，hadsethisheartuponwinningCatherine；andlovedherwithadesperategreedyeagernessanddesireofpossession，whichmakespassionsforwomenoftensofierceandunreasonableamongverycoldandselfishmen。Hisparents（whosefrugalityhehadinherited）hadtriedinvaintoweanhimfromthispassion，andhadmademanyfruitlessattemptstoengagehimwithwomenwhopossessedmoneyanddesiredhusbands；butHayeswas，forawonder，quiteproofagainsttheirattractions；and，thoughquitereadytoacknowledgetheabsurdityofhisloveforapennilessalehouseservant—girl，neverthelesspersistedinitdoggedly。"IknowI’mafool，"saidhe；"andwhat’smore，thegirldoesnotcareforme；butmarryherImust，orIthinkIshalljustdie：andmarryherIwill。"ForverymuchtothecreditofMissCatherine’smodesty，shehaddeclaredthatmarriagewaswithherasinequanon，andhaddismissed，withtheloudestscornandindignation，allpropositionsofalesspropernature。
　　PoorThomasBullockwasanotherofheradmirers，andhadofferedtomarryher；butthreeshillingsaweekandapuddnwasnottothegirl’staste，andThomashadbeenscornfullyrejected。Hayeshadalsomadeheradirectproposal。Catherinedidnotsayno：shewastooprudent：butshewasyoungandcouldwait；shedidnotcareforMr。Hayesyetenoughtomarryhim——（itdidnotseem，indeed，intheyoungwoman’snaturetocareforanybody）——andshegaveheradorerflatteringlytounderstandthat，ifnobodybetterappearedinthecourseofafewyears，shemightbeinducedtobecomeMrs。Hayes。
　　ItwasadismalprospectforthepoorfellowtoliveuponthehopeofbeingonedayMrs。Catherine’spis—aller。
　　Inthemeantimesheconsideredherselffreeasthewind，andpermittedherselfalltheinnocentgaietieswhichthat"charteredlibertine，"acoquette，cantake。Sheflirtedwithallthebachelors，widowers，andmarriedmen，inamannerwhichdidextraordinarycredittoheryears：andletnotthereaderfancysuchpastimesunnaturalatherearlyage。Theladies——Heavenblessthem！——are，asageneralrule，coquettesfrombabyhoodupwards。
　　LittleSHE’Softhreeyearsoldplaylittleairsandgracesuponsmallheroesoffive；simperingmissesofninemakeattacksuponyounggentlemenoftwelve；andatsixteen，awell—growngirl，underencouragingcircumstances——say，sheispretty，inafamilyofuglyeldersisters，oranonlychildandheiress，orahumblewenchatacountryinn，likeourfairCatherine——isattheverypinkandprimeofhercoquetry：theywilljiltyouatthatagewithaneaseandarchinfantinesimplicitythatnevercanbesurpassedinmatureryears。
　　MissCatherine，then，wasafranchecoquette，andMr。JohnHayeswasmiserable。Hislifewaspassedinastormofmeanpassionsandbitterjealousies，anddesperateattacksupontheindifference—rockofMrs。Catherine’sheart，whichnotallhistempestoflovecouldbeatdown。Ocruelcruelpangsofloveunrequited！Meanroguesfeelthemaswellasgreatheroes。LivestherethemaninEuropewhohasnotfeltthemmanytimes？——whohasnotknelt，andfawned，andsupplicated，andwept，andcursed，andraved，allinvain；andpassedlongwakefulnightswithghostsofdeadhopesforcompany；
　　shadowsofburiedremembrancesthatglideoutoftheirgravesofnights，andwhisper，"Wearedeadnow，butweWEREonce；andwemadeyouhappy，andwecomenowtomockyou：——despair，Olover，despair，anddie"？——Ocruelpangs！——dismalnights！——Nowaslydemoncreepsunderyournightcap，anddropsintoyourearthosesofthope—breathingsweetwords，utteredonthewell—rememberedevening：
　　there，inthedrawerofyourdressing—table（alongwiththerazors，andMacassaroil），liesthedeadflowerthatLadyAmeliaWilhelminaworeinherbosomonthenightofacertainball——thecorpseofaglorioushopethatseemedonceasifitwouldliveforever，sostrongwasit，sofullofjoyandsunshine：there，inyourwriting—desk，amongacrowdofunpaidbills，isthedirtyscrapofpaper，thimble—sealed，whichcameincompanywithapairofmuffeteesofherknitting（shewasabutcher’sdaughter，anddidallshecould，poorthing！），begging"youwouldwarethematcollidge，andthinkofherwho"——marriedapublic—housethreeweeksafterwards，andcaresforyounomorenowthanshedoesforthepot—boy。Butwhymultiplyinstances，orseektodepicttheagonyofpoormean—spiritedJohnHayes？Nomistakecanbegreaterthanthatoffancyingsuchgreatemotionsofloveareonlyfeltbyvirtuousorexaltedmen：dependuponit，Love，likeDeath，playshavocamongthepauperumtabernas，andsportswithrichandpoor，wickedandvirtuous，alike。Ihaveoftenfancied，forinstance，onseeingthehaggardpaleyoungold—clothesman，whowakestheechoesofourstreetwithhisnasalcryof"Clo’！"——Ihaveoften，Isaid，fanciedthat，besidestheloadofexuvialcoatsandbreechesunderwhichhestaggers，thereisanotherweightonhim——anatriorcuraathistail——andwhilehisunshornlipsandnosetogetherareperformingthatmocking，boisterous，Jack—indifferentcryof"Clo’，clo’！"whoknowswhatwoefulutterancesarecryingfromtheheartwithin？
　　Thereheis，chafferingwiththefootmanatNo。7aboutanolddressing—gown：youthinkhiswholesoulisbentonlyonthecontestaboutthegarment。Psha！thereis，perhaps，somefaithlessgirlinHolywellStreetwhofillsuphisheart；andthatdesultoryJew—boyisaperipatetichell！Takeanotherinstance：——takethemaninthebeef—shopinSaintMartin’sCourt。Thereheis，toallappearancesquitecalm：beforethesameroundofbeef——frommorningtillsundown——forhundredsofyearsverylikely。Perhapswhentheshuttersareclosed，andalltheworldtiredandsilent，thereisHE
　　silent，butuntired——cutting，cutting，cutting。Youenter，yougetyourmeattoyourliking，youdepart；and，quiteunmoved，on，onhegoes，reapingceaselesslytheGreatHarvestofBeef。YouwouldfancythatifPassioneverfailedtoconquer，ithadinvainassailedthecalmbosomofTHATMAN。Idoubtit，andwouldgivemuchtoknowhishistory。
　　WhoknowswhatfuriousAetna—flamesareragingunderneaththesurfaceofthatcalmflesh—mountain——whocantellmethatthatcalmnessitselfisnotDESPAIR？
　　***
　　Thereader，ifhedoesnotnowunderstandwhyitwasthatMr。HayesagreedtodrinktheCorporal’sprofferedbeer，hadbetterjustreadtheforegoingremarksoveragain，andifhedoesnotunderstandTHEN，why，smallpraisetohisbrains。HayescouldnotbearthatMr。Bullockshouldhaveachanceofseeing，andperhapsmakinglovetoMrs。Catherineinhisabsence；andthoughtheyoungwomanneverdiminishedhercoquetries，but，onthecontrary，ratherincreasedtheminhispresence，itwasstillakindofdismalsatisfactiontobemiserableinhercompany。
　　Onthisoccasion，thedisconsolatelovercouldbewretchedtohisheart’scontent；forCatherinehadnotawordoralookforhim，butbestowedallhersmilesuponthehandsomestrangerwhoownedtheblackhorse。AsforpoorTummasBullock，hispassionwasneverviolent；andhewascontentinthepresentinstancetosighanddrinkbeer。Hesighedanddrank，sighedanddrank，anddrankagain，untilhehadswallowedsomuchoftheCorporal’sliquor，astobeinducedtoacceptaguineafromhispursealso；andfoundhimself，onreturningtoreasonandsobriety，asoldierofQueenAnne’s。
　　Butoh！fancytheagoniesofMr。Hayeswhen，seatedwiththeCorporal’sfriendsatoneendofthekitchen，hesawtheCaptainattheplaceofhonour，andthesmileswhichthefairmaidbestoweduponhim；when，asshelightlywhiskedpasthimwiththeCaptain’ssupper，she，pointingtothelocketthatoncereposedonthebreastoftheDutchladyattheBrill，lookedarchlyonHayesandsaid，"See，John，whathisLordshiphasgivenme；"andwhenJohn’sfacebecamegreenandpurplewithrageandjealousy，Mrs。Catherinelaughedtentimeslouder，andcried"Coming，myLord，"inavoiceofshrilltriumph，thatboredthroughthesoulofMr。JohnHayesandlefthimgaspingforbreath。
　　OnCatherine’sotherlover，Mr。Thomas，thiscoquetryhadnoeffect：
　　he，andtwocomradesofhis，hadbythistimequitefallenunderthespelloftheCorporal；andhope，glory，strongbeer，PrinceEugene，pairofcolours，morestrongbeer，herblessedMajesty，plentymorestrongbeer，andsuchsubjects，martialandbacchic，whirledthroughtheirdizzybrainsatarailroadpace。
　　Andnow，iftherehadbeenacoupleofexperiencedreporterspresentatthe"BugleInn，"theymighthavetakendownaconversationonloveandwar——thetwothemesdiscussedbythetwopartiesoccupyingthekitchen——which，asthepartsweresungtogether，duetwise，formedtogethersomeverycuriousharmonies。Thus，whiletheCaptainwaswhisperingthesoftestnothings，theCorporalwasshoutingthefiercestcombatsofthewar；and，likethegentlemanatPenelope’stable，onitexiguopinxitpraeliatotabero。Forexample：
　　CAPTAIN。Whatdoyousaytoasilvertrimming，prettyCatherine？
　　Don’tyouthinkascarletriding—cloak，handsomelylaced，wouldbecomeyouwonderfullywell？——andagreyhatwithabluefeather——
　　andaprettynagtorideon——andallthesoldierstopresentarmsasyoupass，andsay，"TheregoestheCaptain’slady"？Whatdoyouthinkofaside—boxatLincoln’sInnplayhouse，orofstandinguptoaminuetwithmyLordMarquisat——？
　　CORPORAL。Theball，sir，ranrightuphiselbow，andwasfoundthenextdaybySurgeonSplinterofours，——wheredoyouthink，sir？——
　　uponmyhonourasagentlemanitcameoutofthenapeofhis——
　　CAPTAIN。Necklace——andasweetpairofdiamondearrings，mayhap——andalittleshowerofpatches，whichornamentalady’sfacewondrously——andaleetlerouge——though，egad！suchpeach—cheeksasyoursdon’twantit；——fie！Mrs。Catherine，Ishouldthinkthebirdsmustcomeandpeckatthemasiftheywerefruit——
　　CORPORAL。Overthewall；andthree—and—twentyofourfellowsjumpedafterme。BythePopeofRome，friendTummas，thatwasaday！——HadyouseenhowtheMounseerslookedwhenfour—and—twentyrampaginghe—devils，swordandpistol，cutandthrust，pell—mellcametumblingintotheredoubt！Why，sir，weleftinthreeminutesasmanyartillerymen’sheadsastherewerecannon—balls。Itwas，"Ahsacre！""D—————you，takethat！""OmonDieu！""Runhimthrough！"
　　"Ventrebleu！"anditWASventrebleuwithhim，Iwarrantyou；forbleu，intheFrenchlanguage，means"through；"andventre——why，yousee，ventremeans——
　　CAPTAIN。Waists，whicharewornnowexcessivelong；andforthehoops，ifyouCOULDbutseethem——stapmyvitals，mydear，buttherewasaladyatWarwick’sAssembly（shecameinoneofmyLord’scoaches）whohadahoopasbigasatent：youmighthavedinedunderitcomfortably；——ha！ha！’ponmyfaith，now——
　　CORPORAL。AndtherewefoundtheDukeofMarlboroughseatedalongwithMarshalTallard，whowasendeavouringtodrownhissorrowoveracupofJohannisbergerwine；andagooddrinktoo，mylads，onlynottocomparetoWarwickbeer。"Whowasthemanwhohasdonethis？"saidournobleGeneral。Isteppedup。"Howmanyheadswasit，"sayshe，"thatyoucutoff？""Nineteen，"saysI，"besideswoundingseveral。"Whenheheardit（Mr。Hayes，youdon’tdrink）I’mblestifhedidn’tburstintotears！"Noblenoblefellow，"sayshe。
　　"Marshal，youmustexcusemeifIampleasedtohearofthedestructionofyourcountrymen。Noblenoblefellow！——here’sahundredguineasforyou。"Whichsumheplacedinmyhand。"Nay，"
　　saystheMarshal"themanhasdonehisduty："and，pullingoutamagnificentgolddiamond—hiltedsnuff—box，hegaveme——
　　MR。BULLOCK。What，agooldsnuff—box？Wauns，buttheeWASTinluck，Corporal！
　　CORPORAL。No，notthesnuff—box，but——APINCHOFSNUFF，——ha！
　　ha！——runmethroughthebodyifhedidn’t。CouldyoubuthaveseenthesmileonJackChurchill’sgravefaceatthispieceofgenerosity！So，beckoningColonelCadoganuptohim，hepinchedhisEarandwhispered——
　　CAPTAIN。"MayIhavethehonourtodanceaminuetwithyourLadyship？"ThewholeroomwasintittersatJack’sblunder；for，asyouknowverywell，poorLadySusanHASAWOODENLEG。Ha！ha！fancyaminuetandawoodenleg，hey，mydear？——
　　MRS。CATHERINE。Giggle——giggle——giggle：he！he！he！Oh，Captain，yourogue，you——
　　SECONDTABLE。Haw！haw！haw！Wellyoubeafoonymon，Sergeant，zureenoff。
　　***
　　Thislittlespecimenoftheconversationmustbesufficient。ItwillshowprettyclearlythatEACHofthetwomilitarycommanderswasconductinghisoperationswithperfectsuccess。ThreeofthedetachmentoffiveattackedbytheCorporalsurrenderedtohim：Mr。
　　Bullock，namely，whogaveinataveryearlystageoftheevening，andignominiouslylaiddownhisarmsunderthetable，afterstandingnotmorethanadozenvolleysofbeer；Mr。Blacksmith’sboy，andalabourerwhosenamewehavenotbeenabletolearn。Mr。Butcherhimselfwasonthepointofyielding，whenhewasrescuedbythefuriouschargeofadetachmentthatmarchedtohisrelief：hiswifenamely，who，withtwosquallingchildren，rushedintothe"Bugle，"
　　boxedButcher’sears，andkeptupsuchatremendousfireofoathsandscreamsupontheCorporal，thathewasobligedtoretreat。
　　FixingthenherclawsintoMr。Butcher’shair，sheproceededtodraghimoutofthepremises；andthusMr。Brockwasovercome。HisattackuponJohnHayeswasastillgreaterfailure；forthatyoungmanseemedtobeinvinciblebydrink，ifnotbylove：andattheendofthedrinking—boutwasagreatdealmorecoolthantheCorporalhimself；towhomhewishedaverypolitegood—evening，ascalmlyhetookhishattodepart。HeturnedtolookatCatherine，tobesure，andthenhewasnotquitesocalm：butCatherinedidnotgiveanyreplytohisgood—night。ShewasseatedattheCaptain’stableplayingatcribbagewithhim；andthoughCountGustavusMaximilianlosteverygame，hewonmorethanhelost，——slyfellow！——andMrs。Catherinewasnomatchforhim。
　　ItistobepresumedthatHayesgavesomeinformationtoMrs。Score，thelandlady：for，onleavingthekitchen，hewasseentolingerforamomentinthebar；andverysoonafterMrs。CatherinewascalledawayfromherattendanceontheCount，who，whenheaskedforasackandtoast，wasfurnishedwiththosearticlesbythelandladyherself：and，duringthehalf—hourinwhichhewasemployedinconsumingthisdrink，MonsieurdeGalgensteinlookedverymuchdisturbedandoutofhumour，andcasthiseyestothedoorperpetually；butnoCatherinecame。Atlast，verysulkily，hedesiredtobeshowntobed，andwalkedaswellashecould（for，tosaytruth，thenobleCountwasbythistimesomewhatunsteadyonhislegs）tohischamber。ItwasMrs。Scorewhoshowedhimtoit，andclosedthecurtains，andpointedtriumphantlytothewhitenessofthesheets。
　　"It’saverycomfortableroom，"saidshe，"thoughnotthebestinthehouse；whichbelongofrighttoyourLordship’sworship；butourbestroomhastwobeds，andMr。Corporalisinthat，lockedanddouble—locked，withhisthreetipsyrecruits。Butyourhonourwillfindthisherebedcomfortableandwell—aired；I’vesleptinitmyselfthiseighteenyears。"
　　"What，mygoodwoman，youaregoingtositup，eh？It’scruelhardonyou，madam。"
　　"Situp，myLord？blessyou，no！IshallhavehalfofourCat’sbed；asIalwaysdowhenthere’scompany。"AndwiththisMrs。Scorecurtseyedandretired。
　　VeryearlythenextmorningtheactivelandladyandherbustlingattendanthadpreparedthealeandbaconfortheCorporalandhisthreeconverts，andhadsetanicewhiteclothfortheCaptain’sbreakfast。Theyoungblacksmithdidnoteatwithmuchsatisfaction；
　　butMr。Bullockandhisfriendbetrayednosignofdiscontent，exceptsuchasmaybeconsequentuponanevening’scarouse。TheywalkedverycontentedlytoberegisteredbeforeDoctorDobbs，whowasalsojusticeofthepeace，andwentinsearchoftheirslenderbundles，andtookleaveoftheirfewacquaintanceswithoutmuchregret：forthegentlemenhadbeenbredintheworkhouse，andhadnot，therefore，alargecircleoffriends。
　　Itwantedonlyanhourofnoon，andthenobleCounthadnotdescended。Themenwerewaitingforhim，andspentmuchoftheQueen’smoney（earnedbythesaleoftheirbodiesovernight）whilethusexpectinghim。PerhapsMrs。Catherineexpectedhimtoo，forshehadofferedmanytimestorunup——withmyLord’sboots——withthehotwater——toshowMr。Brocktheway；whosometimescondescendedtoofficiateasbarber。ButonalltheseoccasionsMrs。Scorehadpreventedher；notscolding，butwithmuchgentlenessandsmiling。