首页 >出版文学> Tommy and Co。>第7章

第7章

  "Easyforhim,"mutteredPeterbitterly。"Alwaysdoeshaveanappointmentoutsidethemomentshebegins。"
  Tommyappearedtobethrowingherverysoulintotheperformance。
  Passers—byinCraneCourtpaused,regardedthefirst—floorwindowsofthepublishingandeditorialofficesofGoodHumourwithtroubledlooks,thenhurriedon。
  "Shehas——remarkablyfirmdouch!"shoutedthedoctorintoPeter’sear。"Willseeyou——evening。Someting——saytoyou。"
  Thefatlittledoctortookhishatanddeparted。Tommy,ceasingsuddenly,cameoverandseatedherselfonthearmofPeter’schair。
  "Feelinggrumpy?"askedTommy。
  "Itisn’t,"explainedPeter,"thatImindthenoise。I’dputupwiththatifIcouldseethegoodofit。"
  "It’sgoingtohelpmetogetahusband,dad。Seemstomeanoddwayofdoingit;butBillysaysso,andBillyknowsallabouteverything。"
  "Ican’tunderstandyou,asensiblegirl,listeningtosuchnonsense,"saidPeter。"It’sthatthattroublesme。"
  "Dad,whereareyourwits?"demandedTommy。"Isn’tBillyactinglikeabrick?Why,hecouldgointoFleetStreettohalfadozenotherpapersandmakefivehundredayearasadvertising—agent——youknowhecould。Buthedoesn’t。Hestickstous。Ifmymakingmyselfridiculouswiththattinpottheypersuadedhimwasapianoisgoingtopleasehim,isn’titcommonsenseandsoundbusiness,tosaynothingofgoodnatureandgratitude,formetodoit?Dad,I’vegotasurpriseforhim。Listen。"AndTommy,springingfromthearmofPeter’schair,returnedtothepiano。
  "Whatwasit?"questionedTommy,havingfinished。"Couldyourecogniseit?"
  "Ithink,"saidPeter,"itsoundedlike——Itwasn’t’Home,SweetHome,’wasit?"
  Tommyclappedherhands。"Yes,itwas。You’llendbylikingityourself,dad。We’llhavemusical’AtHomes。’"
  "Tommy,haveIbroughtyouupproperly,doyouthink?"
  "Nodad,youhaven’t。Youhaveletmehavemyownwaytoomuch。
  Youknowtheproverb:’Goodmothersmakebaddaughters。’Clodd’sright;you’vespoiltme,dad。Doyouremember,dad,whenIfirstcametoyou,sevenyearsago,araggedlittlebratoutofthestreets,thatdidn’tknowitselfwhether’twasaboyoragirl?DoyouknowwhatIthoughttomyselfthemomentIseteyesonyou?
  ’Here’sasoftoldjuggins;I’llbeallrightifIcangetinhere!’Itmakesyousmart,knockingaboutintheguttersandbeingknockedabout;youreadfacesquickly。"
  "Doyourememberyourcooking,Tommy?You’hadanaptitudeforit,’accordingtoyourownidea。"
  Tommylaughed。"Iwonderhowyoustoodit。"
  "Youweresoobstinate。Youcametomeas’cookandhousekeeper,’
  andascookandhousekeeper,andasnothingelse,wouldyouremain。
  IfIsuggestedanychange,upwouldgoyourchinintotheair。I
  darednotevendineouttoooften,youweresuchalittletyrant。
  Theonlythingyouwerealwaysreadytodo,ifIwasn’tsatisfied,wastomarchoutofthehouseandleaveme。Whereverdidyougetthatsavageindependenceofyours?"
  "Idon’tknow。Ithinkitmusthavebeenfromawoman——perhapsshewasmymother;Idon’tknow——whousedtositupinthebedandcough,allnightitseemedtome。Peoplewouldcometoseeus——
  ladiesinfineclothes,andgentlemenwithoilyhair。Ithinktheywantedtohelpus。Manyofthemhadkindvoices。Butalwaysahardlookwouldcomeintoherface,andshewouldtellthemwhateventhenIknewtobeuntrue——itwasoneofthefirstthingsIcanrecollect——thatwehadeverythingwewanted,thatweneedednohelpfromanyone。Theywouldgoaway,shruggingtheirshoulders。I
  grewupwiththefeelingthatseemedtohavebeenburntintomybrain,thattotakefromanybodyanythingyouhadnotearnedwasshameful。Idon’tthinkIcoulddoitevennow,notevenfromyou。
  Iamusefultoyou,dad——Idohelpyou?"
  TherehadcreptaterrorintoTommy’svoice。Peterfeltthelittlehandsuponhisarmtrembling。
  "Helpme?Why,youworklikeanigger——likeaniggerissupposedtowork,butdoesn’t。Noone——whateverwepaidhim——woulddohalfasmuch。Idon’twanttomakeyourheadmoreswollenthanitis,youngwoman,butyouhavetalent;Iamnotsureitisnotgenius。"
  Peterfeltthelittlehandstightenuponhisarm。
  "Idowantthispapertobeasuccess;thatiswhyIstrumuponthepianotopleaseClodd。Isithumbug?"
  "Iamafraiditis;buthumbugisthesweetoilthathelpsthiswhirlingworldofourstospinroundsmoothly。Toomuchofitcloys:wedropitverygently。"
  "Butyouaresureitisonlyhumbug,Tommy?"ItwasPeter’svoiceintowhichfearhadenterednow。"ItisnotthatyouthinkheunderstandsyoubetterthanIdo——woulddomoreforyou?"
  "YouwantmetotellyouallIthinkofyou,andthatisn’tgoodforyou,dad——nottoooften。Itwouldbeyouwhowouldhaveswelledheadthen。"
  "Iamjealous,Tommy,jealousofeveryonethatcomesnearyou。
  Lifeisatragedyforusoldfolks。Weknowtheremustcomeadaywhenyouwillleavethenest,leaveusvoiceless,ridiculous,flittingamongbarebranches。Youwillunderstandlater,whenyouhavechildrenofyourown。Thisfoolishtalkaboutahusband!Itisworseforamanthanitisforthewoman。Themotherlivesagaininherchild:themanisrobbedofall。"
  "Dad,doyouknowhowoldIam?——thatyouaretalkingterriblenonsense?"
  "Hewillcome,littlegirl。"
  "Yes,"answeredTommy,"Isupposehewill;butnotforalongwhile——oh,notforaverylongwhile。Don’t。Itfrightensme。"
  "You?Whyshoulditfrightenyou?"
  "Thepain。Itmakesmefeelacoward。Iwantittocome;Iwanttotastelife,todrainthewholecup,tounderstand,tofeel。Butthatistheboyinme。Iammorethanhalfaboy,Ialwayshavebeen。Butthewomaninme:itshrinksfromtheordeal。"
  "Youtalk,Tommy,asifloveweresomethingterrible。"
  "Thereareallthingsinit;Ifeelit,dad。Itislifeinasingledraught。Itfrightensme。"
  Thechildwasstandingwithherfacehiddenbehindherhands。OldPeter,alwaysverybadatlying,stoodsilent,notknowingwhatconsolationtoconcoct。Theshadowpassed,andTommy’slaughingeyeslookedoutagain。
  "Haven’tyouanythingtodo,dad——outside,Imean?"
  "Youwanttogetridofme?"
  "Well,I’venothingelsetooccupymetilltheproofscomein。I’mgoingtopractise,hard。"
  "IthinkI’llturnovermyarticleontheEmbankment,"saidPeter。
  "There’sonethingyouallofyououghttobegratefultomefor,"
  laughedTommy,assheseatedherselfatthepiano。"Idoinduceyoualltotakemorefreshairthanotherwiseyouwould。"
  Tommy,leftalone,setherselftohertaskwiththeenergyandthoroughnessthatwerecharacteristicofher。Strugglingwithcomplicatedscales,TommybenthereyescloserandcloseroverthepagesofCzerny’sExercises。Glancinguptoturnapage,Tommy,tohersurprise,mettheeyesofastranger。Theywerebrowneyes,theirexpressionsympathetic。Belowthem,lookinggoldenwiththesunlightfallingonit,wasamoustacheandbeardcutshortinVandykefashion,notaltogetherhidingapleasantmouth,aboutthecornersofwhichlurkedasmile。
  "Ibegyourpardon,"saidthestranger。"Iknockedthreetimes。
  Perhapsyoudidnothearme?"
  "No,Ididn’t,"confessedTommy,closingthebookofCzerny’sExercises,andrisingwithchinatananglethat,toanyoneacquaintedwiththechartofTommy’stemperament,mighthavesuggestedtheadvisabilityofseekingshelter。
  "ThisistheeditorialofficeofGoodHumour,isitnot?"inquiredthestranger。
  "Itis。"
  "Istheeditorin?"
  "Theeditorisout。"
  "Thesub—editor?"suggestedthestranger。
  "Iamthesub—editor。"
  Thestrangerraisedhiseyebrows。Tommy,onthecontrary,loweredhers。
  "Wouldyoumindglancingthroughthat?"Thestrangerdrewfromhispocketafoldedmanuscript。"Itwillnottakeyouamoment。I
  ought,ofcourse,tohavesentitthroughthepost;butIamsotiredofsendingthingsthroughthepost。"
  Thestranger’smannerwascompoundedofdignifiedimpudencecombinedwithpathetichumility。Hiseyesbothchallengedandpleaded。Tommyheldoutherhandforthepaperandretiredwithitbehindtheprotectionofthebigeditorialdeskthat,flankedononesidebyascreenandontheotherbyaformidablerevolvingbookcase,stretchedfortress—likeacrossthenarrowroom。Thestrangerremainedstanding。
  "Yes。It’spretty,"criticisedthesub—editor。"Worthprinting,perhaps,notworthpayingfor。"
  "Notmerelya——anominalsum,sufficienttodistinguishitfromtheworkoftheamateur?"
  Tommypursedherlips。"Poetryisquiteadruginthemarket。Wecangetasmuchaswewantofitfornothing。"
  "Sayhalfacrown,"suggestedthestranger。
  Tommyshotaswiftglanceacrossthedesk,andforthefirsttimesawthewholeofhim。Hewascladinathreadbare,long,brownulster——long,thatis,itwouldhavebeenuponanordinaryman,butthestrangerhappeningtoberemarkablytall,itappearedonhimridiculouslyshort,reachingonlytohisknees。Roundhisneckandtuckedintohiswaistcoat,thuscompletelyhidingtheshirtandcollarhemayhavebeenwearingormaynot,wascarefullyarrangedabluesilkmuffler。Hishands,whichwerebare,lookedblueandcold。Yettheblackfrock—coatandwaistcoatandFrenchgreytrousersboretheunmistakablecutofafirst—classtailorandfittedhimtoperfection。Hishat,whichhehadrestedonthedesk,shoneresplendent,andthehandleofhissilkumbrellawasaneagle’sheadingold,withtwosmallrubiesfortheeyes。
  "Youcanleaveitifyoulike,"consentedTommy。"I’llspeaktotheeditoraboutitwhenhereturns。"
  "Youwon’tforgetit?"urgedthestranger。
  "No,"answeredTommy。"Ishallnotforgetit。"
  Herblackeyeswerefixeduponthestrangerwithoutherbeingawareofit。Shehaddroppedunconsciouslyintoher"stocktaking"
  attitude。
  "Thankyouverymuch,"saidthestranger。"Iwillcallagainto—
  morrow。"
  Thestranger,movingbackwardtothedoor,wentout。
  Tommysatwithherfacebetweenherhands。Czerny’sExerciseslayneglected。
  "Anybodycalled?"askedPeterHope。
  "No,"answeredTommy。"Oh,justaman。Leftthis——notbad。"
  "Theoldstory,"musedPeter,asheunfoldedthemanuscript。"Weallofusbeginwithpoetry。Thenwetaketoproseromances;
  poetrydoesn’tpay。Finally,wewritearticles:’HowtobeHappythoughMarried,’’WhatshallwedowithourDaughters?’Itislifesummarised。Whatisitallabout?"
  "Oh,theusualsortofthing,"explainedTommy。"Hewantshalfacrownforit。"
  "Poordevil!Lethimhaveit。"
  "That’snotbusiness,"growledTommy。
  "Nobodywilleverknow,"saidPeter。"We’llenteritas’telegrams。’"
  Thestrangercalledearlythenextday,pocketedhishalf—crown,andleftanothermanuscript——anessay。Alsoheleftbehindhimhisgold—handledumbrella,takingawaywithhiminsteadanoldalpacathingCloddkeptinreserveforexceptionallydirtyweather。Peterpronouncedtheessayusable。
  "Hehasastyle,"saidPeter;"hewriteswithdistinction。Makeanappointmentformewithhim。"
  Clodd,onmissinghisumbrella,wasindignant。
  "What’sthegoodofthisthingtome?"commentedClodd。"Sortofthingforadudeinapantomime!Thefellowmustbeablitheringass!"
  Tommygavetothestrangermessagesfrombothwhennexthecalled。
  Heappearedmoregrievedthansurprisedconcerningtheumbrellas。
  "Youdon’tthinkMr。Cloddwouldliketokeepthisumbrellainexchangeforhisown?"hesuggested。
  "Hardlyhisstyle,"explainedTommy。
  "It’sverypeculiar,"saidthestranger,withasmile。"Ihavebeentryingtogetridofthisumbrellaforthelastthreeweeks。
  Onceuponatime,whenIpreferredtokeepmyownumbrella,peopleusedtotakeitbymistake,leavingallkindsofshabbythingsbehindtheminexchange。Now,whenI’dreallyliketogetquitofit,nobodywillhaveit。"
  "Whydoyouwanttogetridofit?"askedTommy。"Itlooksaverygoodumbrella。"
  "Youdon’tknowhowithampersme,"saidthestranger。"Ihavetoliveuptoit。Itrequiresacertainamountofresolutiontoenteracheaprestaurantaccompaniedbythatumbrella。WhenIdo,thewaitersdrawmyattentiontothemostexpensivedishesandrecommendmespecialbrandsoftheirso—calledchampagne。TheyseemquitesurprisedifIonlywantachopandaglassofbeer。I
  haven’talwaysgotthecouragetodisappointthem。Itisreallybecomingquiteacursetome。IfIuseittostopa’bus,threeorfourhansomsdashupandquarreloverme。Ican’tdoanythingI
  wanttodo。Iwanttolivesimplyandinexpensively:itwillnotletme。"
  Tommylaughed。"Can’tyouloseit?"
  Thestrangerlaughedalso。"Loseit!Youhavenoideahowhonestpeopleare。Ihadn’tmyself。Thewholeworldhasgoneupinmyestimationwithinthelastfewweeks。Peoplerunaftermeforquitelongdistancesandforceitintomyhand——peopleonrainydayswhohaven’tgotumbrellasoftheirown。Itisthesamewiththishat。"Thestrangersighedashetookitup。"IamalwaystryingtogetOFFwithsomethingreasonablyshabbyinexchangeforit。Iamalwaysfoundoutandstopped。"
  "Whydon’tyoupawnthem?"suggestedthepracticableTommy。
  Thestrangerregardedherwithadmiration。
  "Doyouknow,Ineverthoughtofthat,"saidthestranger。"Ofcourse。Whatagoodidea!Thankyousomuch。"
  Thestrangerdeparted,evidentlymuchrelieved。
  "Sillyfellow,"musedTommy。"Theywon’tgivehimaquarterofthevalue,andhewillsay:’Thankyousomuch,’andbequitecontented。"ItworriedTommyagooddealthatday,thethoughtofthatstranger’shelplessness。
  Thestranger’snamewasRichardDanvers。HelivedtheothersideofHolborn,inFeatherstoneBuildings,butmuchofhistimecametobespentintheofficesofGoodHumour。
  Peterlikedhim。"Fullofpromise,"wasPeter’sopinion。"Hiscriticismofthatarticleofmineon’TheEducationofWoman’
  showedbothsenseandfeeling。Ascholarandathinker。"
  Flipp,theoffice—boy(speltPhilip),likedhim;andFlipp’sattitude,ingeneral,wascensorial。"He’sallright,"pronouncedFlipp;"nothingstuck—upabouthim。He’sgotplentyofsense,lyinghiddenaway。"
  MissRamsbothamlikedhim。"Themen——themenwethinkaboutatall,"explainedMissRamsbotham——"maybedividedintotwoclasses:
  themenweoughttolike,butdon’t;andthementhereisnoparticularreasonforourliking,butthatwedo。PersonallyI
  couldgetveryfondofyourfriendDick。Thereisnothingwhateverattractiveabouthimexcepthimself。"
  EvenTommylikedhiminherway,thoughattimesshewasseverewithhim。
  "Ifyoumeanabigstreet,"grumbledTommy,whowasgoingoverproofs,"whynotsayabigstreet?Whymustyoualwayscallita’mainartery’?"
  "Iamsorry,"apologisedDanvers。"Itisnotmyownidea。Youtoldmetostudythehigher—classjournals。"
  "Ididn’ttellyoutoselectandfollowalltheirfaults。Hereitisagain。Yourcrowdisalwaysa’hydra—headedmonster’;yourtea’thecupthatcheersbutnotinebriates。’"
  "IamafraidIamadealoftroubletoyou,"suggestedthestaff。
  "Iamafraidyouare,"agreedthesub—editor。
  "Don’tgivemeup,"pleadedthestaff。"Imisunderstoodyou,thatisall。IwillwriteEnglishforthefuture。"
  "Shallbegladifyouwill,"growledthesub—editor。
  DickDanversrose。"Iamsoanxiousnottogetwhatyoucall’thesack’fromhere。"
  Thesub—editor,mollified,thoughtthestaffneedbeundernoapprehension,provideditshoweditselfteachable。
  "Ihavebeenratheraworthlessfellow,MissHope,"confessedDickDanvers。"IwasbeginningtodespairofmyselftillIcameacrossyouandyourfather。Theatmospherehere——Idon’tmeanthematerialatmosphereofCraneCourt——issoinvigorating:itssimplicity,itssincerity。Iusedtohaveideals。Itriedtostiflethem。Thereisasetthatsneersatallthatsortofthing。
  NowIseethattheyaregood。Youwillhelpme?"
  Everywomanisamother。Tommyfeltforthemomentthatshewantedtotakethisbigboyonherkneeandtalktohimforhisgood。Hewasonlyanovergrownlad。Butsoexceedinglyovergrown!Tommyhadtocontentherselfwithholdingoutherhand。DickDanversgraspedittightly。
  Cloddwastheonlyonewhodidnotapproveofhim。
  "Howdidyougetholdofhim?"askedCloddoneafternoon,heandPeteraloneintheoffice。
  "Hecame。Hecameintheusualway,"explainedPeter。
  "Whatdoyouknowabouthim?"
  "Nothing。Whatistheretoknow?Onedoesn’taskforacharacterwithajournalist。"
  "No,Isupposethatwouldn’twork。Foundoutanythingabouthimsince?"
  "Nothingagainsthim。Whysosuspiciousofeverybody?"
  "Becauseyouarejustawoollylambandwantadogtolookafteryou。Whoishe?Onafirstnighthegivesawayhisstallandsneaksintothepit。Whenyousendhimtoapicture—gallery,hedodgestheprivateviewandgoesonthefirstshillingday。Ifaninvitationcomestoapublicdinner,heasksmetogoandeatitforhimandtellhimwhatit’sallabout。Thatdoesn’tsuggestthefrankandhonestjournalist,doesit?"
  "Itisunusual,itcertainlyisunusual,"Peterwasboundtoadmit。
  "Idistrusttheman,"saidClodd。"He’snotourclass。Whatishedoinghere?"
  "Iwillaskhim,Clodd;Iwillaskhimstraightout。"
  "Andbelievewhateverhetellsyou。"
  "No,Ishan’t。"
  "Thenwhat’sthegoodofaskinghim?"
  "Well,whatamItodo?"demandedthebewilderedPeter。
  "Getridofhim,"suggestedClodd。
  "Getridofhim?"
  "Gethimaway!Don’thavehiminandoutoftheofficealldaylong—lookingatherwiththosecollie—dogeyesofhis,arguingartandpoetrywithherinthatcushat—dovevoiceofhis。Gethimcleanaway——ifitisn’ttoolatealready。"
  "Nonsense,"saidPeter,whohadturnedwhite,however。"She’snotthatsortofgirl。"
  "Notthatsortofgirl!"CloddhadnopatiencewithPeterHope,andtoldhimso。"Whyarethereneverinkstainsonherfingersnow?Thereusedtobe。Whydoesshealwayskeepalemoninherdrawer?Whendidshelasthaveherhaircut?I’lltellyouifyoucaretoknow——theweekbeforehecame,fivemonthsago。Sheusedtohaveitcutonceafortnight:saidittickledherneck。WhydoesshejumponpeoplewhentheycallherTommyandtellthemthathernameisJane?ItneverusedtobeJane。Maybewhenyou’reabitolderyou’llbegintonoticethingsforyourself。"
  Cloddjammedhishatonhisheadandflunghimselfdownthestairs。
  Peter,slippingoutaminutelater,boughthimselfanounceofsnuff。
  "Fiddle—de—dee!"saidPeterashehelpedhimselftohisthirteenthpinch。"Don’tbelieveit。I’llsoundher。Ishan’tsayaword——
  I’lljustsoundher。"
  Peterstoodwithhisbacktothefire。Tommysatatherdesk,correctingproofsofafancifulstory:TheManWithoutaPast。
  "Ishallmisshim,"saidPeter;"IknowIshall。"
  "Misswhom?"demandedTommy。
  "Danvers,"sighedPeter。"Italwayshappensso。Yougetfriendlywithaman;thenhegoesaway——abroad,backtoAmerica,Lordknowswhere。Youneverseehimagain。"
  Tommylookedup。Therewastroubleinherface。
  "Howdoyouspell’harassed’?"questionedTommy!"twor’sorone。"
  "Oner,"Peterinformedher,"twos’s。"
  "Ithoughtso。"ThetroublepassedfromTommy’sface。
  "Youdon’taskwhenhe’sgoing,youdon’taskwherehe’sgoing,"
  complainedPeter。"Youdon’tseemtobeinterestedintheleast。"
  "Iwasgoingtoask,sosoonasIhadfinishedcorrectingthissheet,"explainedTommy。"Whatreasondoeshegive?"
  Peterhadcrossedoverandwasstandingwherehecouldseeherfaceilluminedbythelamplight。
  "Itdoesn’tupsetyou——thethoughtofhisgoingaway,ofyourneverseeinghimagain?"
  "Whyshouldit?"Tommyansweredhissearchinggazewithaslightlypuzzledlook。"Ofcourse,I’msorry。Hewasbecominguseful。Butwecouldn’texpecthimtostopwithusalways,couldwe?"
  Peter,rubbinghishands,brokeintoachuckle。"Itoldhim’twasallfiddlesticks。Clodd,hewouldhaveityouweregrowingtocareforthefellow。"
  "ForDickDanvers?"Tommylaughed。"Whateverputthatintohishead?"
  "Oh,well,therewereoneortwolittlethingsthatwehadnoticed。"
  "We?"
  "ImeanthatCloddhadnoticed。"
  I’mgladitwasCloddthatnoticedthem,notyou,dad,thoughtTommytoherself。They’dhavebeenprettyobviousifyouhadnoticedthem。
  "Itnaturallymademeanxious,"confessedPeter。"Yousee,weknowabsolutelynothingofthefellow。"
  "Absolutelynothing,"agreedTommy。
  "Hemaybeamanofthehighestintegrity。Personally,Ithinkheis。Ilikehim。Ontheotherhand,hemaybeathorough—pacedscoundrel。Idon’tbelieveforamomentthatheis,buthemaybe。
  Impossibletosay。"
  "Quiteimpossible,"agreedTommy。
  "Consideredmerelyasajournalist,itdoesn’tmatter。Hewriteswell。Hehasbrains。There’sanendofit。"
  "Heisverypainstaking,"agreedTommy。
  "Personally,"addedPeter,"Ilikethefellow。"Tommyhadreturnedtoherwork。
  OfwhatusewasPeterinacrisisofthiskind?Petercouldn’tscold。Petercouldn’tbully。TheonlypersontotalktoTommyasTommyknewsheneededtobetalkedtowasoneJane,ayoungwomanofdignitywithsenseoftheproprieties。
  "Idohopethatatleastyouarefeelingashamedofyourself,"
  remarkedJanetoTommythatsamenight,asthetwainsattogetherintheirlittlebedroom。
  "Donenothingtobeashamedof,"growledTommy。
  "Makingafoolofyourselfopenly,foreverybodytonotice。"
  "Cloddain’teverybody。He’sgoteyesatthebackofhishead。
  Seesthingsbeforetheyhappen。"
  "Where’syourwoman’spride:fallinginlovewithamanwhohasneverspokentoyou,exceptintermsofthemostordinarycourtesy。"
  "I’mnotinlovewithhim。"
  "Amanaboutwhomyouknowabsolutelynothing。"
  "Notinlovewithhim。"
  "Wheredoeshecomefrom?Whoishe?"
  "Idon’tknow,don’tcare;nothingtodowithme。"
  "Justbecauseofhissofteyes,andhiswheedlingvoice,andthathalf—caressing,half—devotionalmannerofhis。Doyouimaginehekeepsitspeciallyforyou?Igaveyoucreditformoresense。"
  "I’mnotinlovewithhim,Itellyou。He’sdownonhisluck,andI’msorryforhim,that’sall。"
  "Andifheis,whosefaultwasit,doyouthink?"
  "Itdoesn’tmatter。Wearenoneofussaints。He’stryingtopullhimselftogether,andIrespecthimforit。It’sourdutytobecharitableandkindtooneanotherinthisworld!"
  "Oh,well,I’lltellyouhowyoucanbekindtohim:bypointingouttohimthatheiswastinghistime。Withhistalents,nowthatheknowshisbusiness,hecouldbeonthestaffofsomebigpaper,earningagoodincome。Putitnicelytohim,butbefirm。Insistonhisgoing。Thatwillbeshowingtruekindnesstohim——andtoyourself,too,I’mthinking,mydear。"
  AndTommyunderstoodandappreciatedthesoundgoodsenseunderlyingJane’sadvice,andtheverynextdaybutone,seizingthefirstopportunity,acteduponit;andallwouldhavegoneascontemplatedifonlyDickDanvershadsatstillandlistened,asithadbeenarrangedinTommy’sprogrammethatheshould。
  "ButIdon’twanttogo,"saidDick。
  "Butyououghttowanttogo。Stayingherewithusyouaredoingyourselfnogood。"
  Heroseandcametowhereshestoodwithonefootuponthefender,lookingdownintothefire。Hisdoingthisdisconcertedher。Solongasheremainedseatedattheotherendoftheroom,shewasthesub—editor,counsellingthestaffforitsowngood。Nowthatshecouldnotraisehereyeswithoutencounteringhis,shefeltpainfullyconsciousofbeingnothingmoreimportantthanalittlewomanwhowastrembling。
  "Itisdoingmeallthegoodintheworld,"hetoldher,"beingneartoyou。"
  "Oh,pleasedositdownagain,"sheurgedhim。"Icantalktoyousomuchbetterwhenyou’resittingdown。"
  Buthewouldnotdoanythingheshouldhavedonethatday。Insteadhetookherhandsinhis,andwouldnotletthemgo;andthereasonandthewillwentoutofher,leavingherhelpless。
  "Letmebewithyoualways,"hepleaded。"Itmeansthedifferencebetweenlightanddarknesstome。Youhavedonesomuchforme。
  Willyounotfinishyourwork?Willyounottrustme?Itisnohotpassionthatcanpassaway,myloveforyou。Itspringsfromallthatisbestinme——fromthepartofmethatiswholesomeandjoyousandstrong,thepartofmethatbelongstoyou。"
  Releasingher,heturnedaway。
  "Theotherpartofme——theblackguard——itisdead,dear,——deadandburied。IdidnotknowIwasablackguard,Ithoughtmyselfafinefellow,tillonedayitcamehometome。SuddenlyIsawmyselfasIreallywas。AndthesightofthethingfrightenedmeandIranawayfromit。IsaidtomyselfIwouldbeginlifeafresh,inanewcountry,freeofeverytiethatcouldbindmetothepast。Itwouldmeanpoverty——privation,maybe,inthebeginning。Whatofthat?Thestrugglewouldbraceme。Itwouldbegoodsport。Ah,well,youcanguesstheresult:theawakeningtothecoldfacts,thereactionoffeeling。InwhatwaywasIworsethanothermen?
  WhowasI,toplaythepriginaworldwhereotherswerelaughinganddining?Ihadtrampedyourcitytillmybootswerewornintoholes。Ihadbuttoabandonmyquixoticideals——returntowhereshamelaywaitingforme,tobewelcomedwiththefattedcalf。ItwouldhaveendedsohadInotchancedtopassbyyourdoorthatafternoonandhearyoustrummingonthepiano。"
  SoBillywasright,afterall,thoughtTommytoherself,thepianodoeshelp。
  "Itwassoincongruous——apianoinCraneCourt——Ilookedtoseewherethenoisecamefrom。Ireadthenameofthepaperonthedoorpost。’Itwillbemylastchance,’Isaidtomyself。’Thisshalldecideit。’"
  Hecamebacktoher。Shehadnotmoved。"Iamnotafraidtotellyouallthis。Youaresobig—hearted,sohuman;youwillunderstand,youcanforgive。Itisallpast。Lovingyoutellsamanthathehasdonewithevil。Willyounottrustme?"
  Sheputherhandsinhis。"Iamtrustingyou,"shesaid,"withallmylife。Don’tmakeamuddleofit,dear,ifyoucanhelpit。"
  Itwasanoddwooing,asTommylaughinglytoldherselfwhenshecametothinkitoverinherroomthatnight。Butthatishowitshapeditself。
  WhattroubledhermostwasthathehadnotbeenquitefrankwithPeter,sothatPeterhadtodefendheragainstherself。
  "Iattackedyousosuddenly,"explainedPeter,"youhadnottimetothink。Youactedfrominstinct。Awomanseekstohideherloveevenfromherself。"
  "Iexpect,afterall,Iammoreofagirlthanaboy,"fearedTommy:"Iseemtohavesomanywomanishfailings。"
  Petertookhimselfintoquiteplacesandtrainedhimselftofacethefactthatanotherwouldbemoretoherthanhehadeverbeen,andCloddwentabouthisworklikeabearwithasorehead;buttheyneitherofthemneedhavetroubledthemselvessomuch。Themarriagedidnottakeplacetillnearlyfifteenyearshadpassedaway,andmuchwaterhadtoflowbeneatholdLondonBridgebeforethatday。
  Thepastisnoteasilygotridof。Atalewasoncewrittenofawomanwhokilledherbabeandburieditinalonelywood,andlaterstolebackinthenightandsawthere,whiteinthemoonlight,achild’shandcallingthroughtheearth,andburieditagainandyetagain;butalwaysthatwhitebabyhandcalledupwardsthroughtheearth,trampleitdownasshewould。Tommyreadthestoryoneeveninginanoldmiscellany,andsatlongbeforethedeadfire,thebookopenonherlap,andshivered;fornowsheknewthefearthathadbeenhauntingher。
  Tommylivedexpectingher。ShecameonenightwhenTommywasalone,workinglateintheoffice。Tommyknewherthemomentsheenteredthedoor,ahandsomewoman,withsnake—like,rustlingskirts。Sheclosedthedoorbehindher,anddrawingforwardachair,seatedherselftheothersideofthedesk,andthetwolookedlongandanxiouslyatoneanother。
  "TheytoldmeIshouldfindyouherealone,"saidthewoman。"Itisbetter,isitnot?"
  "Yes,"saidTommy,"itisbetter。"
  "Tellme,"saidthewoman,"areyouverymuchinlovewithhim?"
  "WhyshouldItellyou?"
  "Because,ifnot——ifyouhavemerelyacceptedhimthinkinghimagoodcatch——whichheisn’t,mydear;hasn’tapennytoblesshimselfwith,andneverwillifhemarriesyou——why,thenthematterissoonsettled。Theytellmeyouareabusiness—likeyounglady,andIampreparedtomakeabusiness—likeproposition。"
  Therewasnoanswer。Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。
  "If,ontheotherhand,youarethatabsurdcreature,ayounggirlinlove——why,then,Isupposeweshallhavetofightforhim。"
  "Itwouldbemoresporting,woulditnot?"suggestedTommy。
  "Letmeexplainbeforeyoudecide,"continuedthewoman。"DickDanversleftmesixmonthsago,andhaskeptfrommeeversince,becausehelovedme。"
  "Itsoundsacuriousreason。"
  "IwasamarriedwomanwhenDickDanversandIfirstmet。Sinceheleftme——formysakeandhisown——Ihavereceivedinformationofmyhusband’sdeath。"
  "AnddoesDick——doesheknow?"askedthegirl。
  "Notyet。Ihaveonlylatelylearntthenewsmyself。"
  "Thenifitisasyousay,whenheknowshewillgobacktoyou。"
  "Therearedifficultiesintheway。"
  "Whatdifficulties?"
  "Mydear,this。Totryandforgetme,hehasbeenmakinglovetoyou。Mendothesethings。Imerelyaskyoutoconvinceyourselfofthetruth。Goawayforsixmonths——disappearentirely。Leavehimfree——uninfluenced。Ifhelovesyou——ifitbenotmerelyasenseofhonourthatbindshim——youwillfindhimhereonyourreturn。Ifnot——ifintheintervalIhavesucceededinrunningoffwithhim,well,isnotthetwoorthreethousandpoundsIampreparedtoputintothispaperofyoursafairpriceforsuchalover?"
  Tommyrosewithalaughofgenuineamusement。Shecouldneveraltogetherputasidehersenseofhumour,letFatecomewithwhatterrifyingfaceitwould。
  "Youmayhavehimfornothing——ifheisthatman,"thegirltoldher;"heshallbefreetochoosebetweenus。"
  "Youmeanyouwillreleasehimfromhisengagement?"
  "ThatiswhatImean。"
  "Whynottakemyoffer?Youknowthemoneyisneeded。Itwillsaveyourfatheryearsofanxietyandstruggle。Goaway——travel,foracoupleofmonths,ifyou’reafraidofthesix。Writehimthatyoumustbealone,tothinkthingsover。"
  Thegirlturneduponher。
  "Andleaveyouafreefieldtolieandtrick?"
  Thewoman,too,hadrisen。"Doyouthinkhereallycaresforyou?
  Atthemomentyouinteresthim。Atnineteeneverywomanisamystery。Whenthemoodispast——anddoyouknowhowlongaman’smoodlasts,youpoorchit?Tillhehascaughtwhatheisrunningafter,andhastastedit——thenhewillthinknotofwhathehaswon,butofwhathehaslost:ofthesocietyfromwhichhehascuthimselfadrift;ofalltheoldpleasuresandpursuitshecannolongerenjoy;oftheluxuries——necessitiestoamanofhisstamp——
  thatmarriagewithyouhasdeprivedhimof。Thenyourfacewillbeaperpetualremindertohimofwhathehaspaidforit,andhewillcurseiteverytimeheseesit。"
  "Youdon’tknowhim,"thegirlcried。"Youknowjustapartofhim——thepartyouwouldknow。Alltherestofhimisagoodman,thatwouldratherhisself—respectthanalltheluxuriesyoumention——youincluded。"
  "Itseemstoresolveitselfintowhatmannerofmanheis,"laughedthewoman。
  Thegirllookedatherwatch。"Hewillbehereshortly;heshalltellushimself。"
  "Howdoyoumean?"
  "Thathere,betweenthetwoofus,heshalldecide——thisverynight。"Sheshowedherwhitefacetothewoman。"DoyouthinkI
  couldlivethroughaseconddayliketothis?"
  "Thescenewouldberidiculous。"
  "Therewillbenoneheretoenjoythehumourofit。"
  "Hewillnotunderstand。"
  "Oh,yes,hewill,"thegirllaughed。"Come,youhavealltheadvantages;youarerich,youareclever;youbelongtohisclass。
  Ifheelectstostopwithme,itwillbebecauseheismyman——
  mine。Areyouafraid?"
  Thewomanshivered。Shewrappedherfurcloakabouthercloserandsatdownagain,andTommyreturnedtoherproofs。Itwaspress—
  night,andtherewasmuchtobedone。
  Hecamealittlelater,thoughhowlongthetimemayhaveseemedtothetwowomenonecannotsay。Theyheardhisfootsteponthestair。Thewomanroseandwentforward,sothatwhenheopenedthedoorshewasthefirsthesaw。Buthemadenosign。Possiblyhehadbeenschoolinghimselfforthismoment,knowingthatsoonerorlateritmustcome。Thewomanheldoutherhandtohimwithasmile。
  "Ihavenotthehonour,"hesaid。
  Thesmilediedfromherface。"Idonotunderstand,"shesaid。
  "Ihavenotthehonour,"herepeated。"Idonotknowyou。"
  Thegirlwasleaningwithherbackagainstthedeskinasomewhatmannishattitude。Hestoodbetweenthem。ItwillalwaysremainLife’schiefcomicsuccess:themanbetweentwowomen。Thesituationhasamusedtheworldforsomanyyears。Yet,somehow,hecontrivedtomaintainacertaindignity。
  "Maybe,"hecontinued,"youareconfoundingmewithaDickDanverswholivedinNewYorkuptoafewmonthsago。Iknewhimwell——aworthlessscampyouhaddonebetternevertohavemet。"
  "Youbearawonderfulresemblancetohim,"laughedthewoman。
  "Thepoorfoolisdead,"heanswered。"Andheleftforyou,mydearlady,thisdyingmessage:that,fromthebottomofhissoul,hewassorryforthewronghehaddoneyou。Heaskedyoutoforgivehim——andforgethim。"
  "Theyearappearstobeopeningunfortunatelyforme,"saidthewoman。"Firstmylover,thenmyhusband。"
  Hehadnervedhimselftofighttheliving。Thiswasablowfromthedead。Themanhadbeenhisfriend。
  "Dead?"
  "Hewaskilled,itappears,inthatlastexpeditioninJuly,"
  answeredthewoman。"IreceivedthenewsfromtheForeignOfficeonlyafortnightago。"
  Anuglylookcameintohiseyes——thelookofacorneredcreaturefightingforitslife。"Whyhaveyoufollowedmehere?WhydoI
  findyouherealonewithher?Whathaveyoutoldher?"
  Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。"Onlythetruth。"
  "Allthetruth?"hedemanded——"all?Ah!bejust。Tellheritwasnotallmyfault。Tellherallthetruth。"
  "Whatwouldyouhavemetellher?ThatIplayedPotiphar’swifetoyourJoseph?"
  "Ah,no!Thetruth——onlythetruth。ThatyouandIwereapairofidlefoolswiththedevildancingroundus。Thatweplayedafool’sgame,andthatitisover。"
  "Isitover?Dick,isitover?"Sheflungherarmstowardshim;
  buthethrewherfromhimalmostbrutally。"Themanisdead,I
  tellyou。Hisfollyandhissinliedeadwithhim。Ihavenothingtodowithyou,noryouwithme。"
  "Dick!"shewhispered。"Dick,cannotyouunderstand?Imustspeakwithyoualone。"
  Buttheydidnotunderstand,neitherthemannorthechild。
  "Dick,areyoureallydead?"shecried。"Haveyounopityforme?
  DoyouthinkthatIhavefollowedyouheretogrovelatyourfeetformerewhim?AmIactinglikeawomansaneandsound?Don’tyouseethatIammad,andwhyIammad?MustItellyoubeforeher?
  Dick——"Shestaggeredtowardshim,andthefinecloakslippedfromhershoulders;andthenitwasthatTommychangedfromachildintoawoman,andraisedtheotherwomanfromthegroundwithcrooningwordsofencouragementsuchasmothersuse,andledhertotheinnerroom。"Donotgo,"shesaid,turningtoDick;"Ishallbebackinafewminutes。"
  HecrossedtooneofthewindowsagainstwhichbeattheCity’sroar,anditseemedtohimasthethrobofpassingfootstepsbeatingdownthroughthedarknesstowherehelayinhisgrave。
  Shere—entered,closingthedoorsoftlybehindher。"Itistrue?"
  sheasked。
  "Itcanbe。Ihadnotthoughtofit。"
  Theyspokeinlow,matter—of—facttones,aspeopledowhohavegrownwearyoftheirownemotions。
  "Whendidhegoaway——herhusband?"
  "About——itisFebruarynow,isitnot?Abouteighteenmonthsago。"
  "Anddiedjusteightmonthsago。Ratherconveniently,poorfellow。"
  "Yes,I’mgladheisdead——poorLawrence。"
  "Whatistheshortesttimeinwhichamarriagecanbearranged?"
  "Idonotknow,"heansweredlistlessly。"Idonotintendtomarryher。"
  "Youwouldleavehertobearitalone?"
  "Itisnotasifshewereapoorwoman。Youcandoanythingwithmoney。"
  "Itwillnotmendreputation。Herpositioninsocietyiseverythingtothatclassofwoman。"
  "Mymarryinghernow,"hepointedout,"wouldnotsaveher。"
  "Practicallyspeakingitwould,"thegirlpleaded。"Theworlddoesnotgooutofitswaytofindoutthingsitdoesnotwanttoknow。
  Marryherasquietlyaspossibleandtravelforayearortwo。"
  "WhyshouldI?Ah!itiseasyenoughtocallamanacowardfordefendinghimselfagainstawoman。Whatishetodowhenheisfightingforhislife?Mendonotsinwithgoodwomen。"
  "Thereisthechildtobeconsidered,"sheurged——"yourchild。Yousee,dear,wealldowrongsometimes。Wemustnotletotherssufferforourfaultmore——morethanwecanhelp。"
  Heturnedtoherforthefirsttime。"Andyou?"
  "I?Oh,Ishallcryforalittlewhile,butlateronIshalllaugh,asoften。Lifeisnotalllove。Ihavemywork。"
  Heknewherwellbythistime。Andalsoitcametohimthatitwouldbeafinerthingtobeworthyofherthaneventopossessher。
  Sohedidherbiddingandwentoutwiththeotherwoman。Tommywasgladitwaspress—night。Shewouldnotbeabletothinkforhourstocome,andthen,perhaps,shewouldbefeelingtootired。Workcanbeverykind。
  Werethisanartisticstory,here,ofcourse,onewouldwrite"Finis。"Butintheworkadayworldoneneverknowstheendingtillitcomes。Haditbeenotherwise,IdoubtIcouldhavefoundcouragetotellyouthisstoryofTommy。Itisnotalltrue——atleast,Idonotsupposeso。Onedriftsunconsciouslyalittlewayintodream—landwhenonesitsoneselfdowntorecallthehappeningsoflongago;whileFancy,withaslywink,whisperseverandagaintoMemory:"Letmetellthisincident——picturethatscene:Icanmakeitsomuchmoreinterestingthanyouwould。"ButTommy——howcanIputitwithoutsayingtoomuch:thereissomeoneIthinkofwhenIspeakofher?Torememberonlyherdearwounds,andnotthehealingofthem,wouldhavebeenatasktoopainful。Ilovetodwellontheirnextmeeting。Flipp,passinghimonthesteps,didnotknowhim,thetall,sunburntgentlemanwiththesweet,grave—
  facedlittlegirl。
  "Seenthatfacesomewherebefore,"musedFlipp,asatthecornerofBedfordStreetheclimbedintoahansom,"seenitsomewhereonathinnerman。"
  ForDickDanvers,thathedidnotrecogniseFlipp,therewasmoreexcuse。AveryoldyoungmanhadFlippbecomeatthirty。Flippnolongerenjoyedpopularjournalism。Heproducedit。
  Thegold—bounddoorkeeperfearedthemightyCloddwouldbeunabletoseesoinsignificantanatomasanunappointedstranger,butwouldletthecardofMr。RichardDanverspleadforitself。Tothegold—boundkeeper’ssurprisecamedownthemessagethatMr。Danverswastobeatonceshownup。
  "Ithought,somehow,youwouldcometomefirst,"saidtheportlyClodd,advancingwithout—stretchedhand。"Andthisis——?"
  "Mylittlegirl,Honor。Wehavebeentravellingforthelastfewmonths。"
  Cloddtookthegrave,smallfacebetweenhisbig,roughhands:
  "Yes。Sheislikeyou。Butlooksasifsheweregoingtohavemoresense。Forgiveme,Iknewyourfathermydear,"laughedClodd;"whenhewasyounger。"
  Theylittheircigarsandtalked。
  "Well,notexactlydead;weamalgamatedit,"winkedCloddinanswertoDanvers’inquiry。"ItwasjustatrifleTOOhigh—class。
  Besides,theoldgentlemanwasnotgettingyounger。Ithurthimalittleatfirst。ButthencameTommy’sgreatsuccess,andthathasreconciledhimtoallthings。DotheyknowyouareinEngland?"
  "No,"explainedDanvers;"wearrivedonlylastnight。"
  Cloddcalleddirectionsdownthespeaking—tube。
  "Youwillfindhardlyanychangeinher。Onestillhastokeepone’seyeuponherchin。Shehasnotevenlostheroldhabitoftakingstockofpeople。Youremember。"Cloddlaughed。
  Theytalkedalittlelonger,tilltherecameawhistle,andCloddputhiseartothetube。
  "Ihavetoseeheronbusiness,"saidClodd,rising;"youmayaswellcomewithme。Theyarestillintheoldplace,GoughSquare。"
  Tommywasout,butPeterwasexpectinghereveryminute。
  PeterdidnotknowDick,butwouldnotadmitit。Forgetfulnesswasasignofage,andPeterstillfeltyoung。
  "Iknowyourfacequitewell,"saidPeter;"can’tputanametoit,that’sall。"
  Cloddwhisperedittohim,togetherwithinformationbringinghistoryuptodate。Andthenlightfellupontheoldlinedface。
  HecametowardsDick,meaningtotakehimbybothhands,but,perhapsbecausehehadbecomesomewhatfeeble,heseemedgladwhentheyoungermanputhisarmsaroundhimandheldhimforamoment。
  Itwasun—English,andbothofthemfeltalittleashamedofthemselvesafterwards。
  "Whatwewant,"saidClodd,addressingPeter,"wethree——you,I,andMissDanvers——isteaandcakes,withcreaminthem;andIknowashopwheretheysellthem。Wewillcallbackforyourfatherinhalfanhour。"CloddexplainedtoMissDanvers;"hehastotalkoveramatterofbusinesswithMissHope。"
  "Iknow,"answeredthegrave—facedlittleperson。ShedrewDick’sfacedowntohersandkissedit。Andthenthethreewentouttogether,leavingDickstandingbythewindow。
  "Couldn’twehidesomewheretillshecomes?"suggestedMissDanvers。"Iwanttoseeher。"
  Sotheywaitedintheopendoorwayofanearprinting—housetillTommydroveup。BothPeterandCloddwatchedthechild’sfacewithsomeanxiety。Shenoddedgravelytoherselfthreetimes,thenslippedherhandintoPeter’s。
  Tommyopenedthedoorwithherlatchkeyandpassedin。