"Easyforhim,"mutteredPeterbitterly。"Alwaysdoeshaveanappointmentoutsidethemomentshebegins。"
Tommyappearedtobethrowingherverysoulintotheperformance。
Passers—byinCraneCourtpaused,regardedthefirst—floorwindowsofthepublishingandeditorialofficesofGoodHumourwithtroubledlooks,thenhurriedon。
"Shehas——remarkablyfirmdouch!"shoutedthedoctorintoPeter’sear。"Willseeyou——evening。Someting——saytoyou。"
Thefatlittledoctortookhishatanddeparted。Tommy,ceasingsuddenly,cameoverandseatedherselfonthearmofPeter’schair。
"Feelinggrumpy?"askedTommy。
"Itisn’t,"explainedPeter,"thatImindthenoise。I’dputupwiththatifIcouldseethegoodofit。"
"It’sgoingtohelpmetogetahusband,dad。Seemstomeanoddwayofdoingit;butBillysaysso,andBillyknowsallabouteverything。"
"Ican’tunderstandyou,asensiblegirl,listeningtosuchnonsense,"saidPeter。"It’sthatthattroublesme。"
"Dad,whereareyourwits?"demandedTommy。"Isn’tBillyactinglikeabrick?Why,hecouldgointoFleetStreettohalfadozenotherpapersandmakefivehundredayearasadvertising—agent——youknowhecould。Buthedoesn’t。Hestickstous。Ifmymakingmyselfridiculouswiththattinpottheypersuadedhimwasapianoisgoingtopleasehim,isn’titcommonsenseandsoundbusiness,tosaynothingofgoodnatureandgratitude,formetodoit?Dad,I’vegotasurpriseforhim。Listen。"AndTommy,springingfromthearmofPeter’schair,returnedtothepiano。
"Whatwasit?"questionedTommy,havingfinished。"Couldyourecogniseit?"
"Ithink,"saidPeter,"itsoundedlike——Itwasn’t’Home,SweetHome,’wasit?"
Tommyclappedherhands。"Yes,itwas。You’llendbylikingityourself,dad。We’llhavemusical’AtHomes。’"
"Tommy,haveIbroughtyouupproperly,doyouthink?"
"Nodad,youhaven’t。Youhaveletmehavemyownwaytoomuch。
Youknowtheproverb:’Goodmothersmakebaddaughters。’Clodd’sright;you’vespoiltme,dad。Doyouremember,dad,whenIfirstcametoyou,sevenyearsago,araggedlittlebratoutofthestreets,thatdidn’tknowitselfwhether’twasaboyoragirl?DoyouknowwhatIthoughttomyselfthemomentIseteyesonyou?
’Here’sasoftoldjuggins;I’llbeallrightifIcangetinhere!’Itmakesyousmart,knockingaboutintheguttersandbeingknockedabout;youreadfacesquickly。"
"Doyourememberyourcooking,Tommy?You’hadanaptitudeforit,’accordingtoyourownidea。"
Tommylaughed。"Iwonderhowyoustoodit。"
"Youweresoobstinate。Youcametomeas’cookandhousekeeper,’
andascookandhousekeeper,andasnothingelse,wouldyouremain。
IfIsuggestedanychange,upwouldgoyourchinintotheair。I
darednotevendineouttoooften,youweresuchalittletyrant。
Theonlythingyouwerealwaysreadytodo,ifIwasn’tsatisfied,wastomarchoutofthehouseandleaveme。Whereverdidyougetthatsavageindependenceofyours?"
"Idon’tknow。Ithinkitmusthavebeenfromawoman——perhapsshewasmymother;Idon’tknow——whousedtositupinthebedandcough,allnightitseemedtome。Peoplewouldcometoseeus——
ladiesinfineclothes,andgentlemenwithoilyhair。Ithinktheywantedtohelpus。Manyofthemhadkindvoices。Butalwaysahardlookwouldcomeintoherface,andshewouldtellthemwhateventhenIknewtobeuntrue——itwasoneofthefirstthingsIcanrecollect——thatwehadeverythingwewanted,thatweneedednohelpfromanyone。Theywouldgoaway,shruggingtheirshoulders。I
grewupwiththefeelingthatseemedtohavebeenburntintomybrain,thattotakefromanybodyanythingyouhadnotearnedwasshameful。Idon’tthinkIcoulddoitevennow,notevenfromyou。
Iamusefultoyou,dad——Idohelpyou?"
TherehadcreptaterrorintoTommy’svoice。Peterfeltthelittlehandsuponhisarmtrembling。
"Helpme?Why,youworklikeanigger——likeaniggerissupposedtowork,butdoesn’t。Noone——whateverwepaidhim——woulddohalfasmuch。Idon’twanttomakeyourheadmoreswollenthanitis,youngwoman,butyouhavetalent;Iamnotsureitisnotgenius。"
Peterfeltthelittlehandstightenuponhisarm。
"Idowantthispapertobeasuccess;thatiswhyIstrumuponthepianotopleaseClodd。Isithumbug?"
"Iamafraiditis;buthumbugisthesweetoilthathelpsthiswhirlingworldofourstospinroundsmoothly。Toomuchofitcloys:wedropitverygently。"
"Butyouaresureitisonlyhumbug,Tommy?"ItwasPeter’svoiceintowhichfearhadenterednow。"ItisnotthatyouthinkheunderstandsyoubetterthanIdo——woulddomoreforyou?"
"YouwantmetotellyouallIthinkofyou,andthatisn’tgoodforyou,dad——nottoooften。Itwouldbeyouwhowouldhaveswelledheadthen。"
"Iamjealous,Tommy,jealousofeveryonethatcomesnearyou。
Lifeisatragedyforusoldfolks。Weknowtheremustcomeadaywhenyouwillleavethenest,leaveusvoiceless,ridiculous,flittingamongbarebranches。Youwillunderstandlater,whenyouhavechildrenofyourown。Thisfoolishtalkaboutahusband!Itisworseforamanthanitisforthewoman。Themotherlivesagaininherchild:themanisrobbedofall。"
"Dad,doyouknowhowoldIam?——thatyouaretalkingterriblenonsense?"
"Hewillcome,littlegirl。"
"Yes,"answeredTommy,"Isupposehewill;butnotforalongwhile——oh,notforaverylongwhile。Don’t。Itfrightensme。"
"You?Whyshoulditfrightenyou?"
"Thepain。Itmakesmefeelacoward。Iwantittocome;Iwanttotastelife,todrainthewholecup,tounderstand,tofeel。Butthatistheboyinme。Iammorethanhalfaboy,Ialwayshavebeen。Butthewomaninme:itshrinksfromtheordeal。"
"Youtalk,Tommy,asifloveweresomethingterrible。"
"Thereareallthingsinit;Ifeelit,dad。Itislifeinasingledraught。Itfrightensme。"
Thechildwasstandingwithherfacehiddenbehindherhands。OldPeter,alwaysverybadatlying,stoodsilent,notknowingwhatconsolationtoconcoct。Theshadowpassed,andTommy’slaughingeyeslookedoutagain。
"Haven’tyouanythingtodo,dad——outside,Imean?"
"Youwanttogetridofme?"
"Well,I’venothingelsetooccupymetilltheproofscomein。I’mgoingtopractise,hard。"
"IthinkI’llturnovermyarticleontheEmbankment,"saidPeter。
"There’sonethingyouallofyououghttobegratefultomefor,"
laughedTommy,assheseatedherselfatthepiano。"Idoinduceyoualltotakemorefreshairthanotherwiseyouwould。"
Tommy,leftalone,setherselftohertaskwiththeenergyandthoroughnessthatwerecharacteristicofher。Strugglingwithcomplicatedscales,TommybenthereyescloserandcloseroverthepagesofCzerny’sExercises。Glancinguptoturnapage,Tommy,tohersurprise,mettheeyesofastranger。Theywerebrowneyes,theirexpressionsympathetic。Belowthem,lookinggoldenwiththesunlightfallingonit,wasamoustacheandbeardcutshortinVandykefashion,notaltogetherhidingapleasantmouth,aboutthecornersofwhichlurkedasmile。
"Ibegyourpardon,"saidthestranger。"Iknockedthreetimes。
Perhapsyoudidnothearme?"
"No,Ididn’t,"confessedTommy,closingthebookofCzerny’sExercises,andrisingwithchinatananglethat,toanyoneacquaintedwiththechartofTommy’stemperament,mighthavesuggestedtheadvisabilityofseekingshelter。
"ThisistheeditorialofficeofGoodHumour,isitnot?"inquiredthestranger。
"Itis。"
"Istheeditorin?"
"Theeditorisout。"
"Thesub—editor?"suggestedthestranger。
"Iamthesub—editor。"
Thestrangerraisedhiseyebrows。Tommy,onthecontrary,loweredhers。
"Wouldyoumindglancingthroughthat?"Thestrangerdrewfromhispocketafoldedmanuscript。"Itwillnottakeyouamoment。I
ought,ofcourse,tohavesentitthroughthepost;butIamsotiredofsendingthingsthroughthepost。"
Thestranger’smannerwascompoundedofdignifiedimpudencecombinedwithpathetichumility。Hiseyesbothchallengedandpleaded。Tommyheldoutherhandforthepaperandretiredwithitbehindtheprotectionofthebigeditorialdeskthat,flankedononesidebyascreenandontheotherbyaformidablerevolvingbookcase,stretchedfortress—likeacrossthenarrowroom。Thestrangerremainedstanding。
"Yes。It’spretty,"criticisedthesub—editor。"Worthprinting,perhaps,notworthpayingfor。"
"Notmerelya——anominalsum,sufficienttodistinguishitfromtheworkoftheamateur?"
Tommypursedherlips。"Poetryisquiteadruginthemarket。Wecangetasmuchaswewantofitfornothing。"
"Sayhalfacrown,"suggestedthestranger。
Tommyshotaswiftglanceacrossthedesk,andforthefirsttimesawthewholeofhim。Hewascladinathreadbare,long,brownulster——long,thatis,itwouldhavebeenuponanordinaryman,butthestrangerhappeningtoberemarkablytall,itappearedonhimridiculouslyshort,reachingonlytohisknees。Roundhisneckandtuckedintohiswaistcoat,thuscompletelyhidingtheshirtandcollarhemayhavebeenwearingormaynot,wascarefullyarrangedabluesilkmuffler。Hishands,whichwerebare,lookedblueandcold。Yettheblackfrock—coatandwaistcoatandFrenchgreytrousersboretheunmistakablecutofafirst—classtailorandfittedhimtoperfection。Hishat,whichhehadrestedonthedesk,shoneresplendent,andthehandleofhissilkumbrellawasaneagle’sheadingold,withtwosmallrubiesfortheeyes。
"Youcanleaveitifyoulike,"consentedTommy。"I’llspeaktotheeditoraboutitwhenhereturns。"
"Youwon’tforgetit?"urgedthestranger。
"No,"answeredTommy。"Ishallnotforgetit。"
Herblackeyeswerefixeduponthestrangerwithoutherbeingawareofit。Shehaddroppedunconsciouslyintoher"stocktaking"
attitude。
"Thankyouverymuch,"saidthestranger。"Iwillcallagainto—
morrow。"
Thestranger,movingbackwardtothedoor,wentout。
Tommysatwithherfacebetweenherhands。Czerny’sExerciseslayneglected。
"Anybodycalled?"askedPeterHope。
"No,"answeredTommy。"Oh,justaman。Leftthis——notbad。"
"Theoldstory,"musedPeter,asheunfoldedthemanuscript。"Weallofusbeginwithpoetry。Thenwetaketoproseromances;
poetrydoesn’tpay。Finally,wewritearticles:’HowtobeHappythoughMarried,’’WhatshallwedowithourDaughters?’Itislifesummarised。Whatisitallabout?"
"Oh,theusualsortofthing,"explainedTommy。"Hewantshalfacrownforit。"
"Poordevil!Lethimhaveit。"
"That’snotbusiness,"growledTommy。
"Nobodywilleverknow,"saidPeter。"We’llenteritas’telegrams。’"
Thestrangercalledearlythenextday,pocketedhishalf—crown,andleftanothermanuscript——anessay。Alsoheleftbehindhimhisgold—handledumbrella,takingawaywithhiminsteadanoldalpacathingCloddkeptinreserveforexceptionallydirtyweather。Peterpronouncedtheessayusable。
"Hehasastyle,"saidPeter;"hewriteswithdistinction。Makeanappointmentformewithhim。"
Clodd,onmissinghisumbrella,wasindignant。
"What’sthegoodofthisthingtome?"commentedClodd。"Sortofthingforadudeinapantomime!Thefellowmustbeablitheringass!"
Tommygavetothestrangermessagesfrombothwhennexthecalled。
Heappearedmoregrievedthansurprisedconcerningtheumbrellas。
"Youdon’tthinkMr。Cloddwouldliketokeepthisumbrellainexchangeforhisown?"hesuggested。
"Hardlyhisstyle,"explainedTommy。
"It’sverypeculiar,"saidthestranger,withasmile。"Ihavebeentryingtogetridofthisumbrellaforthelastthreeweeks。
Onceuponatime,whenIpreferredtokeepmyownumbrella,peopleusedtotakeitbymistake,leavingallkindsofshabbythingsbehindtheminexchange。Now,whenI’dreallyliketogetquitofit,nobodywillhaveit。"
"Whydoyouwanttogetridofit?"askedTommy。"Itlooksaverygoodumbrella。"
"Youdon’tknowhowithampersme,"saidthestranger。"Ihavetoliveuptoit。Itrequiresacertainamountofresolutiontoenteracheaprestaurantaccompaniedbythatumbrella。WhenIdo,thewaitersdrawmyattentiontothemostexpensivedishesandrecommendmespecialbrandsoftheirso—calledchampagne。TheyseemquitesurprisedifIonlywantachopandaglassofbeer。I
haven’talwaysgotthecouragetodisappointthem。Itisreallybecomingquiteacursetome。IfIuseittostopa’bus,threeorfourhansomsdashupandquarreloverme。Ican’tdoanythingI
wanttodo。Iwanttolivesimplyandinexpensively:itwillnotletme。"
Tommylaughed。"Can’tyouloseit?"
Thestrangerlaughedalso。"Loseit!Youhavenoideahowhonestpeopleare。Ihadn’tmyself。Thewholeworldhasgoneupinmyestimationwithinthelastfewweeks。Peoplerunaftermeforquitelongdistancesandforceitintomyhand——peopleonrainydayswhohaven’tgotumbrellasoftheirown。Itisthesamewiththishat。"Thestrangersighedashetookitup。"IamalwaystryingtogetOFFwithsomethingreasonablyshabbyinexchangeforit。Iamalwaysfoundoutandstopped。"
"Whydon’tyoupawnthem?"suggestedthepracticableTommy。
Thestrangerregardedherwithadmiration。
"Doyouknow,Ineverthoughtofthat,"saidthestranger。"Ofcourse。Whatagoodidea!Thankyousomuch。"
Thestrangerdeparted,evidentlymuchrelieved。
"Sillyfellow,"musedTommy。"Theywon’tgivehimaquarterofthevalue,andhewillsay:’Thankyousomuch,’andbequitecontented。"ItworriedTommyagooddealthatday,thethoughtofthatstranger’shelplessness。
Thestranger’snamewasRichardDanvers。HelivedtheothersideofHolborn,inFeatherstoneBuildings,butmuchofhistimecametobespentintheofficesofGoodHumour。
Peterlikedhim。"Fullofpromise,"wasPeter’sopinion。"Hiscriticismofthatarticleofmineon’TheEducationofWoman’
showedbothsenseandfeeling。Ascholarandathinker。"
Flipp,theoffice—boy(speltPhilip),likedhim;andFlipp’sattitude,ingeneral,wascensorial。"He’sallright,"pronouncedFlipp;"nothingstuck—upabouthim。He’sgotplentyofsense,lyinghiddenaway。"
MissRamsbothamlikedhim。"Themen——themenwethinkaboutatall,"explainedMissRamsbotham——"maybedividedintotwoclasses:
themenweoughttolike,butdon’t;andthementhereisnoparticularreasonforourliking,butthatwedo。PersonallyI
couldgetveryfondofyourfriendDick。Thereisnothingwhateverattractiveabouthimexcepthimself。"
EvenTommylikedhiminherway,thoughattimesshewasseverewithhim。
"Ifyoumeanabigstreet,"grumbledTommy,whowasgoingoverproofs,"whynotsayabigstreet?Whymustyoualwayscallita’mainartery’?"
"Iamsorry,"apologisedDanvers。"Itisnotmyownidea。Youtoldmetostudythehigher—classjournals。"
"Ididn’ttellyoutoselectandfollowalltheirfaults。Hereitisagain。Yourcrowdisalwaysa’hydra—headedmonster’;yourtea’thecupthatcheersbutnotinebriates。’"
"IamafraidIamadealoftroubletoyou,"suggestedthestaff。
"Iamafraidyouare,"agreedthesub—editor。
"Don’tgivemeup,"pleadedthestaff。"Imisunderstoodyou,thatisall。IwillwriteEnglishforthefuture。"
"Shallbegladifyouwill,"growledthesub—editor。
DickDanversrose。"Iamsoanxiousnottogetwhatyoucall’thesack’fromhere。"
Thesub—editor,mollified,thoughtthestaffneedbeundernoapprehension,provideditshoweditselfteachable。
"Ihavebeenratheraworthlessfellow,MissHope,"confessedDickDanvers。"IwasbeginningtodespairofmyselftillIcameacrossyouandyourfather。Theatmospherehere——Idon’tmeanthematerialatmosphereofCraneCourt——issoinvigorating:itssimplicity,itssincerity。Iusedtohaveideals。Itriedtostiflethem。Thereisasetthatsneersatallthatsortofthing。
NowIseethattheyaregood。Youwillhelpme?"
Everywomanisamother。Tommyfeltforthemomentthatshewantedtotakethisbigboyonherkneeandtalktohimforhisgood。Hewasonlyanovergrownlad。Butsoexceedinglyovergrown!Tommyhadtocontentherselfwithholdingoutherhand。DickDanversgraspedittightly。
Cloddwastheonlyonewhodidnotapproveofhim。
"Howdidyougetholdofhim?"askedCloddoneafternoon,heandPeteraloneintheoffice。
"Hecame。Hecameintheusualway,"explainedPeter。
"Whatdoyouknowabouthim?"
"Nothing。Whatistheretoknow?Onedoesn’taskforacharacterwithajournalist。"
"No,Isupposethatwouldn’twork。Foundoutanythingabouthimsince?"
"Nothingagainsthim。Whysosuspiciousofeverybody?"
"Becauseyouarejustawoollylambandwantadogtolookafteryou。Whoishe?Onafirstnighthegivesawayhisstallandsneaksintothepit。Whenyousendhimtoapicture—gallery,hedodgestheprivateviewandgoesonthefirstshillingday。Ifaninvitationcomestoapublicdinner,heasksmetogoandeatitforhimandtellhimwhatit’sallabout。Thatdoesn’tsuggestthefrankandhonestjournalist,doesit?"
"Itisunusual,itcertainlyisunusual,"Peterwasboundtoadmit。
"Idistrusttheman,"saidClodd。"He’snotourclass。Whatishedoinghere?"
"Iwillaskhim,Clodd;Iwillaskhimstraightout。"
"Andbelievewhateverhetellsyou。"
"No,Ishan’t。"
"Thenwhat’sthegoodofaskinghim?"
"Well,whatamItodo?"demandedthebewilderedPeter。
"Getridofhim,"suggestedClodd。
"Getridofhim?"
"Gethimaway!Don’thavehiminandoutoftheofficealldaylong—lookingatherwiththosecollie—dogeyesofhis,arguingartandpoetrywithherinthatcushat—dovevoiceofhis。Gethimcleanaway——ifitisn’ttoolatealready。"
"Nonsense,"saidPeter,whohadturnedwhite,however。"She’snotthatsortofgirl。"
"Notthatsortofgirl!"CloddhadnopatiencewithPeterHope,andtoldhimso。"Whyarethereneverinkstainsonherfingersnow?Thereusedtobe。Whydoesshealwayskeepalemoninherdrawer?Whendidshelasthaveherhaircut?I’lltellyouifyoucaretoknow——theweekbeforehecame,fivemonthsago。Sheusedtohaveitcutonceafortnight:saidittickledherneck。WhydoesshejumponpeoplewhentheycallherTommyandtellthemthathernameisJane?ItneverusedtobeJane。Maybewhenyou’reabitolderyou’llbegintonoticethingsforyourself。"
Cloddjammedhishatonhisheadandflunghimselfdownthestairs。
Peter,slippingoutaminutelater,boughthimselfanounceofsnuff。
"Fiddle—de—dee!"saidPeterashehelpedhimselftohisthirteenthpinch。"Don’tbelieveit。I’llsoundher。Ishan’tsayaword——
I’lljustsoundher。"
Peterstoodwithhisbacktothefire。Tommysatatherdesk,correctingproofsofafancifulstory:TheManWithoutaPast。
"Ishallmisshim,"saidPeter;"IknowIshall。"
"Misswhom?"demandedTommy。
"Danvers,"sighedPeter。"Italwayshappensso。Yougetfriendlywithaman;thenhegoesaway——abroad,backtoAmerica,Lordknowswhere。Youneverseehimagain。"
Tommylookedup。Therewastroubleinherface。
"Howdoyouspell’harassed’?"questionedTommy!"twor’sorone。"
"Oner,"Peterinformedher,"twos’s。"
"Ithoughtso。"ThetroublepassedfromTommy’sface。
"Youdon’taskwhenhe’sgoing,youdon’taskwherehe’sgoing,"
complainedPeter。"Youdon’tseemtobeinterestedintheleast。"
"Iwasgoingtoask,sosoonasIhadfinishedcorrectingthissheet,"explainedTommy。"Whatreasondoeshegive?"
Peterhadcrossedoverandwasstandingwherehecouldseeherfaceilluminedbythelamplight。
"Itdoesn’tupsetyou——thethoughtofhisgoingaway,ofyourneverseeinghimagain?"
"Whyshouldit?"Tommyansweredhissearchinggazewithaslightlypuzzledlook。"Ofcourse,I’msorry。Hewasbecominguseful。Butwecouldn’texpecthimtostopwithusalways,couldwe?"
Peter,rubbinghishands,brokeintoachuckle。"Itoldhim’twasallfiddlesticks。Clodd,hewouldhaveityouweregrowingtocareforthefellow。"
"ForDickDanvers?"Tommylaughed。"Whateverputthatintohishead?"
"Oh,well,therewereoneortwolittlethingsthatwehadnoticed。"
"We?"
"ImeanthatCloddhadnoticed。"
I’mgladitwasCloddthatnoticedthem,notyou,dad,thoughtTommytoherself。They’dhavebeenprettyobviousifyouhadnoticedthem。
"Itnaturallymademeanxious,"confessedPeter。"Yousee,weknowabsolutelynothingofthefellow。"
"Absolutelynothing,"agreedTommy。
"Hemaybeamanofthehighestintegrity。Personally,Ithinkheis。Ilikehim。Ontheotherhand,hemaybeathorough—pacedscoundrel。Idon’tbelieveforamomentthatheis,buthemaybe。
Impossibletosay。"
"Quiteimpossible,"agreedTommy。
"Consideredmerelyasajournalist,itdoesn’tmatter。Hewriteswell。Hehasbrains。There’sanendofit。"
"Heisverypainstaking,"agreedTommy。
"Personally,"addedPeter,"Ilikethefellow。"Tommyhadreturnedtoherwork。
OfwhatusewasPeterinacrisisofthiskind?Petercouldn’tscold。Petercouldn’tbully。TheonlypersontotalktoTommyasTommyknewsheneededtobetalkedtowasoneJane,ayoungwomanofdignitywithsenseoftheproprieties。
"Idohopethatatleastyouarefeelingashamedofyourself,"
remarkedJanetoTommythatsamenight,asthetwainsattogetherintheirlittlebedroom。
"Donenothingtobeashamedof,"growledTommy。
"Makingafoolofyourselfopenly,foreverybodytonotice。"
"Cloddain’teverybody。He’sgoteyesatthebackofhishead。
Seesthingsbeforetheyhappen。"
"Where’syourwoman’spride:fallinginlovewithamanwhohasneverspokentoyou,exceptintermsofthemostordinarycourtesy。"
"I’mnotinlovewithhim。"
"Amanaboutwhomyouknowabsolutelynothing。"
"Notinlovewithhim。"
"Wheredoeshecomefrom?Whoishe?"
"Idon’tknow,don’tcare;nothingtodowithme。"
"Justbecauseofhissofteyes,andhiswheedlingvoice,andthathalf—caressing,half—devotionalmannerofhis。Doyouimaginehekeepsitspeciallyforyou?Igaveyoucreditformoresense。"
"I’mnotinlovewithhim,Itellyou。He’sdownonhisluck,andI’msorryforhim,that’sall。"
"Andifheis,whosefaultwasit,doyouthink?"
"Itdoesn’tmatter。Wearenoneofussaints。He’stryingtopullhimselftogether,andIrespecthimforit。It’sourdutytobecharitableandkindtooneanotherinthisworld!"
"Oh,well,I’lltellyouhowyoucanbekindtohim:bypointingouttohimthatheiswastinghistime。Withhistalents,nowthatheknowshisbusiness,hecouldbeonthestaffofsomebigpaper,earningagoodincome。Putitnicelytohim,butbefirm。Insistonhisgoing。Thatwillbeshowingtruekindnesstohim——andtoyourself,too,I’mthinking,mydear。"
AndTommyunderstoodandappreciatedthesoundgoodsenseunderlyingJane’sadvice,andtheverynextdaybutone,seizingthefirstopportunity,acteduponit;andallwouldhavegoneascontemplatedifonlyDickDanvershadsatstillandlistened,asithadbeenarrangedinTommy’sprogrammethatheshould。
"ButIdon’twanttogo,"saidDick。
"Butyououghttowanttogo。Stayingherewithusyouaredoingyourselfnogood。"
Heroseandcametowhereshestoodwithonefootuponthefender,lookingdownintothefire。Hisdoingthisdisconcertedher。Solongasheremainedseatedattheotherendoftheroom,shewasthesub—editor,counsellingthestaffforitsowngood。Nowthatshecouldnotraisehereyeswithoutencounteringhis,shefeltpainfullyconsciousofbeingnothingmoreimportantthanalittlewomanwhowastrembling。
"Itisdoingmeallthegoodintheworld,"hetoldher,"beingneartoyou。"
"Oh,pleasedositdownagain,"sheurgedhim。"Icantalktoyousomuchbetterwhenyou’resittingdown。"
Buthewouldnotdoanythingheshouldhavedonethatday。Insteadhetookherhandsinhis,andwouldnotletthemgo;andthereasonandthewillwentoutofher,leavingherhelpless。
"Letmebewithyoualways,"hepleaded。"Itmeansthedifferencebetweenlightanddarknesstome。Youhavedonesomuchforme。
Willyounotfinishyourwork?Willyounottrustme?Itisnohotpassionthatcanpassaway,myloveforyou。Itspringsfromallthatisbestinme——fromthepartofmethatiswholesomeandjoyousandstrong,thepartofmethatbelongstoyou。"
Releasingher,heturnedaway。
"Theotherpartofme——theblackguard——itisdead,dear,——deadandburied。IdidnotknowIwasablackguard,Ithoughtmyselfafinefellow,tillonedayitcamehometome。SuddenlyIsawmyselfasIreallywas。AndthesightofthethingfrightenedmeandIranawayfromit。IsaidtomyselfIwouldbeginlifeafresh,inanewcountry,freeofeverytiethatcouldbindmetothepast。Itwouldmeanpoverty——privation,maybe,inthebeginning。Whatofthat?Thestrugglewouldbraceme。Itwouldbegoodsport。Ah,well,youcanguesstheresult:theawakeningtothecoldfacts,thereactionoffeeling。InwhatwaywasIworsethanothermen?
WhowasI,toplaythepriginaworldwhereotherswerelaughinganddining?Ihadtrampedyourcitytillmybootswerewornintoholes。Ihadbuttoabandonmyquixoticideals——returntowhereshamelaywaitingforme,tobewelcomedwiththefattedcalf。ItwouldhaveendedsohadInotchancedtopassbyyourdoorthatafternoonandhearyoustrummingonthepiano。"
SoBillywasright,afterall,thoughtTommytoherself,thepianodoeshelp。
"Itwassoincongruous——apianoinCraneCourt——Ilookedtoseewherethenoisecamefrom。Ireadthenameofthepaperonthedoorpost。’Itwillbemylastchance,’Isaidtomyself。’Thisshalldecideit。’"
Hecamebacktoher。Shehadnotmoved。"Iamnotafraidtotellyouallthis。Youaresobig—hearted,sohuman;youwillunderstand,youcanforgive。Itisallpast。Lovingyoutellsamanthathehasdonewithevil。Willyounottrustme?"
Sheputherhandsinhis。"Iamtrustingyou,"shesaid,"withallmylife。Don’tmakeamuddleofit,dear,ifyoucanhelpit。"
Itwasanoddwooing,asTommylaughinglytoldherselfwhenshecametothinkitoverinherroomthatnight。Butthatishowitshapeditself。
WhattroubledhermostwasthathehadnotbeenquitefrankwithPeter,sothatPeterhadtodefendheragainstherself。
"Iattackedyousosuddenly,"explainedPeter,"youhadnottimetothink。Youactedfrominstinct。Awomanseekstohideherloveevenfromherself。"
"Iexpect,afterall,Iammoreofagirlthanaboy,"fearedTommy:"Iseemtohavesomanywomanishfailings。"
Petertookhimselfintoquiteplacesandtrainedhimselftofacethefactthatanotherwouldbemoretoherthanhehadeverbeen,andCloddwentabouthisworklikeabearwithasorehead;buttheyneitherofthemneedhavetroubledthemselvessomuch。Themarriagedidnottakeplacetillnearlyfifteenyearshadpassedaway,andmuchwaterhadtoflowbeneatholdLondonBridgebeforethatday。
Thepastisnoteasilygotridof。Atalewasoncewrittenofawomanwhokilledherbabeandburieditinalonelywood,andlaterstolebackinthenightandsawthere,whiteinthemoonlight,achild’shandcallingthroughtheearth,andburieditagainandyetagain;butalwaysthatwhitebabyhandcalledupwardsthroughtheearth,trampleitdownasshewould。Tommyreadthestoryoneeveninginanoldmiscellany,andsatlongbeforethedeadfire,thebookopenonherlap,andshivered;fornowsheknewthefearthathadbeenhauntingher。
Tommylivedexpectingher。ShecameonenightwhenTommywasalone,workinglateintheoffice。Tommyknewherthemomentsheenteredthedoor,ahandsomewoman,withsnake—like,rustlingskirts。Sheclosedthedoorbehindher,anddrawingforwardachair,seatedherselftheothersideofthedesk,andthetwolookedlongandanxiouslyatoneanother。
"TheytoldmeIshouldfindyouherealone,"saidthewoman。"Itisbetter,isitnot?"
"Yes,"saidTommy,"itisbetter。"
"Tellme,"saidthewoman,"areyouverymuchinlovewithhim?"
"WhyshouldItellyou?"
"Because,ifnot——ifyouhavemerelyacceptedhimthinkinghimagoodcatch——whichheisn’t,mydear;hasn’tapennytoblesshimselfwith,andneverwillifhemarriesyou——why,thenthematterissoonsettled。Theytellmeyouareabusiness—likeyounglady,andIampreparedtomakeabusiness—likeproposition。"
Therewasnoanswer。Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。
"If,ontheotherhand,youarethatabsurdcreature,ayounggirlinlove——why,then,Isupposeweshallhavetofightforhim。"
"Itwouldbemoresporting,woulditnot?"suggestedTommy。
"Letmeexplainbeforeyoudecide,"continuedthewoman。"DickDanversleftmesixmonthsago,andhaskeptfrommeeversince,becausehelovedme。"
"Itsoundsacuriousreason。"
"IwasamarriedwomanwhenDickDanversandIfirstmet。Sinceheleftme——formysakeandhisown——Ihavereceivedinformationofmyhusband’sdeath。"
"AnddoesDick——doesheknow?"askedthegirl。
"Notyet。Ihaveonlylatelylearntthenewsmyself。"
"Thenifitisasyousay,whenheknowshewillgobacktoyou。"
"Therearedifficultiesintheway。"
"Whatdifficulties?"
"Mydear,this。Totryandforgetme,hehasbeenmakinglovetoyou。Mendothesethings。Imerelyaskyoutoconvinceyourselfofthetruth。Goawayforsixmonths——disappearentirely。Leavehimfree——uninfluenced。Ifhelovesyou——ifitbenotmerelyasenseofhonourthatbindshim——youwillfindhimhereonyourreturn。Ifnot——ifintheintervalIhavesucceededinrunningoffwithhim,well,isnotthetwoorthreethousandpoundsIampreparedtoputintothispaperofyoursafairpriceforsuchalover?"
Tommyrosewithalaughofgenuineamusement。Shecouldneveraltogetherputasidehersenseofhumour,letFatecomewithwhatterrifyingfaceitwould。
"Youmayhavehimfornothing——ifheisthatman,"thegirltoldher;"heshallbefreetochoosebetweenus。"
"Youmeanyouwillreleasehimfromhisengagement?"
"ThatiswhatImean。"
"Whynottakemyoffer?Youknowthemoneyisneeded。Itwillsaveyourfatheryearsofanxietyandstruggle。Goaway——travel,foracoupleofmonths,ifyou’reafraidofthesix。Writehimthatyoumustbealone,tothinkthingsover。"
Thegirlturneduponher。
"Andleaveyouafreefieldtolieandtrick?"
Thewoman,too,hadrisen。"Doyouthinkhereallycaresforyou?
Atthemomentyouinteresthim。Atnineteeneverywomanisamystery。Whenthemoodispast——anddoyouknowhowlongaman’smoodlasts,youpoorchit?Tillhehascaughtwhatheisrunningafter,andhastastedit——thenhewillthinknotofwhathehaswon,butofwhathehaslost:ofthesocietyfromwhichhehascuthimselfadrift;ofalltheoldpleasuresandpursuitshecannolongerenjoy;oftheluxuries——necessitiestoamanofhisstamp——
thatmarriagewithyouhasdeprivedhimof。Thenyourfacewillbeaperpetualremindertohimofwhathehaspaidforit,andhewillcurseiteverytimeheseesit。"
"Youdon’tknowhim,"thegirlcried。"Youknowjustapartofhim——thepartyouwouldknow。Alltherestofhimisagoodman,thatwouldratherhisself—respectthanalltheluxuriesyoumention——youincluded。"
"Itseemstoresolveitselfintowhatmannerofmanheis,"laughedthewoman。
Thegirllookedatherwatch。"Hewillbehereshortly;heshalltellushimself。"
"Howdoyoumean?"
"Thathere,betweenthetwoofus,heshalldecide——thisverynight。"Sheshowedherwhitefacetothewoman。"DoyouthinkI
couldlivethroughaseconddayliketothis?"
"Thescenewouldberidiculous。"
"Therewillbenoneheretoenjoythehumourofit。"
"Hewillnotunderstand。"
"Oh,yes,hewill,"thegirllaughed。"Come,youhavealltheadvantages;youarerich,youareclever;youbelongtohisclass。
Ifheelectstostopwithme,itwillbebecauseheismyman——
mine。Areyouafraid?"
Thewomanshivered。Shewrappedherfurcloakabouthercloserandsatdownagain,andTommyreturnedtoherproofs。Itwaspress—
night,andtherewasmuchtobedone。
Hecamealittlelater,thoughhowlongthetimemayhaveseemedtothetwowomenonecannotsay。Theyheardhisfootsteponthestair。Thewomanroseandwentforward,sothatwhenheopenedthedoorshewasthefirsthesaw。Buthemadenosign。Possiblyhehadbeenschoolinghimselfforthismoment,knowingthatsoonerorlateritmustcome。Thewomanheldoutherhandtohimwithasmile。
"Ihavenotthehonour,"hesaid。
Thesmilediedfromherface。"Idonotunderstand,"shesaid。
"Ihavenotthehonour,"herepeated。"Idonotknowyou。"
Thegirlwasleaningwithherbackagainstthedeskinasomewhatmannishattitude。Hestoodbetweenthem。ItwillalwaysremainLife’schiefcomicsuccess:themanbetweentwowomen。Thesituationhasamusedtheworldforsomanyyears。Yet,somehow,hecontrivedtomaintainacertaindignity。
"Maybe,"hecontinued,"youareconfoundingmewithaDickDanverswholivedinNewYorkuptoafewmonthsago。Iknewhimwell——aworthlessscampyouhaddonebetternevertohavemet。"
"Youbearawonderfulresemblancetohim,"laughedthewoman。
"Thepoorfoolisdead,"heanswered。"Andheleftforyou,mydearlady,thisdyingmessage:that,fromthebottomofhissoul,hewassorryforthewronghehaddoneyou。Heaskedyoutoforgivehim——andforgethim。"
"Theyearappearstobeopeningunfortunatelyforme,"saidthewoman。"Firstmylover,thenmyhusband。"
Hehadnervedhimselftofighttheliving。Thiswasablowfromthedead。Themanhadbeenhisfriend。
"Dead?"
"Hewaskilled,itappears,inthatlastexpeditioninJuly,"
answeredthewoman。"IreceivedthenewsfromtheForeignOfficeonlyafortnightago。"
Anuglylookcameintohiseyes——thelookofacorneredcreaturefightingforitslife。"Whyhaveyoufollowedmehere?WhydoI
findyouherealonewithher?Whathaveyoutoldher?"
Thewomanshruggedhershoulders。"Onlythetruth。"
"Allthetruth?"hedemanded——"all?Ah!bejust。Tellheritwasnotallmyfault。Tellherallthetruth。"
"Whatwouldyouhavemetellher?ThatIplayedPotiphar’swifetoyourJoseph?"
"Ah,no!Thetruth——onlythetruth。ThatyouandIwereapairofidlefoolswiththedevildancingroundus。Thatweplayedafool’sgame,andthatitisover。"
"Isitover?Dick,isitover?"Sheflungherarmstowardshim;
buthethrewherfromhimalmostbrutally。"Themanisdead,I
tellyou。Hisfollyandhissinliedeadwithhim。Ihavenothingtodowithyou,noryouwithme。"
"Dick!"shewhispered。"Dick,cannotyouunderstand?Imustspeakwithyoualone。"
Buttheydidnotunderstand,neitherthemannorthechild。
"Dick,areyoureallydead?"shecried。"Haveyounopityforme?
DoyouthinkthatIhavefollowedyouheretogrovelatyourfeetformerewhim?AmIactinglikeawomansaneandsound?Don’tyouseethatIammad,andwhyIammad?MustItellyoubeforeher?
Dick——"Shestaggeredtowardshim,andthefinecloakslippedfromhershoulders;andthenitwasthatTommychangedfromachildintoawoman,andraisedtheotherwomanfromthegroundwithcrooningwordsofencouragementsuchasmothersuse,andledhertotheinnerroom。"Donotgo,"shesaid,turningtoDick;"Ishallbebackinafewminutes。"
HecrossedtooneofthewindowsagainstwhichbeattheCity’sroar,anditseemedtohimasthethrobofpassingfootstepsbeatingdownthroughthedarknesstowherehelayinhisgrave。
Shere—entered,closingthedoorsoftlybehindher。"Itistrue?"
sheasked。
"Itcanbe。Ihadnotthoughtofit。"
Theyspokeinlow,matter—of—facttones,aspeopledowhohavegrownwearyoftheirownemotions。
"Whendidhegoaway——herhusband?"
"About——itisFebruarynow,isitnot?Abouteighteenmonthsago。"
"Anddiedjusteightmonthsago。Ratherconveniently,poorfellow。"
"Yes,I’mgladheisdead——poorLawrence。"
"Whatistheshortesttimeinwhichamarriagecanbearranged?"
"Idonotknow,"heansweredlistlessly。"Idonotintendtomarryher。"
"Youwouldleavehertobearitalone?"
"Itisnotasifshewereapoorwoman。Youcandoanythingwithmoney。"
"Itwillnotmendreputation。Herpositioninsocietyiseverythingtothatclassofwoman。"
"Mymarryinghernow,"hepointedout,"wouldnotsaveher。"
"Practicallyspeakingitwould,"thegirlpleaded。"Theworlddoesnotgooutofitswaytofindoutthingsitdoesnotwanttoknow。
Marryherasquietlyaspossibleandtravelforayearortwo。"
"WhyshouldI?Ah!itiseasyenoughtocallamanacowardfordefendinghimselfagainstawoman。Whatishetodowhenheisfightingforhislife?Mendonotsinwithgoodwomen。"
"Thereisthechildtobeconsidered,"sheurged——"yourchild。Yousee,dear,wealldowrongsometimes。Wemustnotletotherssufferforourfaultmore——morethanwecanhelp。"
Heturnedtoherforthefirsttime。"Andyou?"
"I?Oh,Ishallcryforalittlewhile,butlateronIshalllaugh,asoften。Lifeisnotalllove。Ihavemywork。"
Heknewherwellbythistime。Andalsoitcametohimthatitwouldbeafinerthingtobeworthyofherthaneventopossessher。
Sohedidherbiddingandwentoutwiththeotherwoman。Tommywasgladitwaspress—night。Shewouldnotbeabletothinkforhourstocome,andthen,perhaps,shewouldbefeelingtootired。Workcanbeverykind。
Werethisanartisticstory,here,ofcourse,onewouldwrite"Finis。"Butintheworkadayworldoneneverknowstheendingtillitcomes。Haditbeenotherwise,IdoubtIcouldhavefoundcouragetotellyouthisstoryofTommy。Itisnotalltrue——atleast,Idonotsupposeso。Onedriftsunconsciouslyalittlewayintodream—landwhenonesitsoneselfdowntorecallthehappeningsoflongago;whileFancy,withaslywink,whisperseverandagaintoMemory:"Letmetellthisincident——picturethatscene:Icanmakeitsomuchmoreinterestingthanyouwould。"ButTommy——howcanIputitwithoutsayingtoomuch:thereissomeoneIthinkofwhenIspeakofher?Torememberonlyherdearwounds,andnotthehealingofthem,wouldhavebeenatasktoopainful。Ilovetodwellontheirnextmeeting。Flipp,passinghimonthesteps,didnotknowhim,thetall,sunburntgentlemanwiththesweet,grave—
facedlittlegirl。
"Seenthatfacesomewherebefore,"musedFlipp,asatthecornerofBedfordStreetheclimbedintoahansom,"seenitsomewhereonathinnerman。"
ForDickDanvers,thathedidnotrecogniseFlipp,therewasmoreexcuse。AveryoldyoungmanhadFlippbecomeatthirty。Flippnolongerenjoyedpopularjournalism。Heproducedit。
Thegold—bounddoorkeeperfearedthemightyCloddwouldbeunabletoseesoinsignificantanatomasanunappointedstranger,butwouldletthecardofMr。RichardDanverspleadforitself。Tothegold—boundkeeper’ssurprisecamedownthemessagethatMr。Danverswastobeatonceshownup。
"Ithought,somehow,youwouldcometomefirst,"saidtheportlyClodd,advancingwithout—stretchedhand。"Andthisis——?"
"Mylittlegirl,Honor。Wehavebeentravellingforthelastfewmonths。"
Cloddtookthegrave,smallfacebetweenhisbig,roughhands:
"Yes。Sheislikeyou。Butlooksasifsheweregoingtohavemoresense。Forgiveme,Iknewyourfathermydear,"laughedClodd;"whenhewasyounger。"
Theylittheircigarsandtalked。
"Well,notexactlydead;weamalgamatedit,"winkedCloddinanswertoDanvers’inquiry。"ItwasjustatrifleTOOhigh—class。
Besides,theoldgentlemanwasnotgettingyounger。Ithurthimalittleatfirst。ButthencameTommy’sgreatsuccess,andthathasreconciledhimtoallthings。DotheyknowyouareinEngland?"
"No,"explainedDanvers;"wearrivedonlylastnight。"
Cloddcalleddirectionsdownthespeaking—tube。
"Youwillfindhardlyanychangeinher。Onestillhastokeepone’seyeuponherchin。Shehasnotevenlostheroldhabitoftakingstockofpeople。Youremember。"Cloddlaughed。
Theytalkedalittlelonger,tilltherecameawhistle,andCloddputhiseartothetube。
"Ihavetoseeheronbusiness,"saidClodd,rising;"youmayaswellcomewithme。Theyarestillintheoldplace,GoughSquare。"
Tommywasout,butPeterwasexpectinghereveryminute。
PeterdidnotknowDick,butwouldnotadmitit。Forgetfulnesswasasignofage,andPeterstillfeltyoung。
"Iknowyourfacequitewell,"saidPeter;"can’tputanametoit,that’sall。"
Cloddwhisperedittohim,togetherwithinformationbringinghistoryuptodate。Andthenlightfellupontheoldlinedface。
HecametowardsDick,meaningtotakehimbybothhands,but,perhapsbecausehehadbecomesomewhatfeeble,heseemedgladwhentheyoungermanputhisarmsaroundhimandheldhimforamoment。
Itwasun—English,andbothofthemfeltalittleashamedofthemselvesafterwards。
"Whatwewant,"saidClodd,addressingPeter,"wethree——you,I,andMissDanvers——isteaandcakes,withcreaminthem;andIknowashopwheretheysellthem。Wewillcallbackforyourfatherinhalfanhour。"CloddexplainedtoMissDanvers;"hehastotalkoveramatterofbusinesswithMissHope。"
"Iknow,"answeredthegrave—facedlittleperson。ShedrewDick’sfacedowntohersandkissedit。Andthenthethreewentouttogether,leavingDickstandingbythewindow。
"Couldn’twehidesomewheretillshecomes?"suggestedMissDanvers。"Iwanttoseeher。"
Sotheywaitedintheopendoorwayofanearprinting—housetillTommydroveup。BothPeterandCloddwatchedthechild’sfacewithsomeanxiety。Shenoddedgravelytoherselfthreetimes,thenslippedherhandintoPeter’s。
Tommyopenedthedoorwithherlatchkeyandpassedin。
第7章