Heknewtherewasnofly。Butthegroundwassuddenlycutfromhisfeet。Thereisalimittoknighterrantry——dragonsandfalseknightsareallverywell,butflies!Fictitiousflies!Whateverthetroublewas,itwasevidentlynothisaffair。Hefelthehadmadeafoolofhimselfagain。Hewouldhavemumbledsomesortofapology;buttheothermaninbrowngavehimnotime,turnedonhimabruptly,evenfiercely。"Ihope,"hesaid,"thatyourcuriosityissatisfied?"
"Certainly,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Thenwewon’tdetainyou。"
And,ignominiously,Mr。Hoopdriverturnedhismachineabout,struggleduponit,andresumedtheroadsouthward。AndwhenhelearntthathewasnotonthePortsmouthroad,itwasimpossibletoturnandgoback,forthatwouldbetofacehisshameagain,andsohehadtorideonbyBrookStreetupthehilltoHaslemere。AndawaytotherightthePortsmouthroadmockedathimandmadeofftoitsfastnessesamidthesunlitgreenandpurplemassesofHindhead,whereMr。GrantAllenwriteshisHillTopNovelsdaybyday。
Thesunshone,andthewidebluehillviewsandpleasantvalleysonesawoneitherhandfromthesandscarredroadway,eventhesidesoftheroaditselfsetaboutwithgreyheatherscrubandpricklymassesofgorse,andpinetreeswiththeiryear’sgrowthstillbrightgreen,againstthedarkenedneedlesofthepreviousyears,werefreshanddelightfultoMr。Hoopdriver’seyesButthebrightnessofthedayandtheday—oldsenseoffreedomfoughtanuphillfightagainsthisintolerablevexationatthatabominableencounter,andhadstilltowinitwhenhereachedHaslemere。A
greatbrownshadow,amonstroushatredoftheothermaninbrown,possessedhim。HehadconceivedthebrilliantideaofabandoningPortsmouth,oratleastgivingupthestraightwaytohisfellow—wayfarers,andofstrikingoutboldlytotheleft,eastward。Hedidnotdaretostopatanyoftheinvitingpublic—housesinthemainstreetofHaslemere,butturnedupasidewayandfoundalittlebeer—shop,theGoodHope,whereintorefreshhimself。Andthereheateandgossippedcondescendinglywithanagedlabourer,assumingthewhileforhisownprivateenjoymenttheattributesofaLostHeir,andafterwardsmountedandrodeontowardsNorthchapel,aplacewhichanumberoffinger—postsconspiredtoboom,butwhichsomeinsidiousturningpreventedhimfromattaining。
HOWMR。HOOPDRIVERREACHEDMIDHURST
XIV
Itwasoneofmyuncle’sprofoundestremarksthathumanbeingsaretheonlyunreasonablecreatures。ThisobservationwassofarjustifiedbyMr。Hoopdriverthat,afterspendingthemorningtortuouslyavoidingtheothermaninbrownandtheYoungLadyinGrey,hespentaconsiderablepartoftheafternooninthinkingabouttheYoungLadyinGrey,andcontemplatinginanoptimisticspiritthepossibilitiesofseeingheragain。Memoryandimaginationplayedroundher,sothathiscoursewaslargelydeterminedbythewindingsoftheroadhetraversed。Ofonegeneralpropositionhewasabsolutelyconvinced。"There’ssomethingJuicywrongwith’em,"saidhe——onceevenaloud。Butwhatitwashecouldnotimagine。Herecapitulatedthefacts。
"MissBeaumont——brotherandsister——andthestoppagetoquarrelandweep——itwasperplexingmaterialforayoungmanofsmallexperience。Therewasnoexertionhehatedsomuchasinference,andafteratimehegaveupanyattempttogetattherealitiesofthecase,andlethisimaginationgofree。Shouldheeverseeheragain?Supposehedid——withthatotherchapnotabout。Thevisionhefoundpleasantestwasanencounterwithher,anunexpectedencounterattheannualDancingClass’Do’atthePutneyAssemblyRooms。Somehowtheywoulddrifttogether,andhewoulddancewithheragainandagain。Itwasapleasantvision,foryoumustunderstandthatMr。Hoopdriverdanceduncommonlywell。Oragain,intheshop,asuddenradianceinthedoorway,andsheisbowedtowardstheManchestercounter。Andthentoleanoverthatcounterandmurmur,seeminglyaproposofthegoodsunderdiscussion,"IhavenotforgottenthatmorningonthePortsmouthroad,"andlower,"Inevershallforget。"
AtNorthchapelMr。Hoopdriverconsultedhismapandtookcounselandweighedhiscourseofaction。Petworthseemedapossibleresting—place,orPullborough;Midhurstseemedtoonear,andanyplaceovertheDownsbeyond,toofar,andsohemeanderedtowardsPetworth,posinghimselfperpetuallyandloitering,gatheringwildflowersandwonderingwhytheyhadnonames——forhehadneverheardofany——droppingthemfurtivelyatthesightofastranger,andgenerally’muckingabout。’Therewerepurplevetchesinthehedges,meadowsweet,honeysuckle,belatedbrambles——butthedog—roseshadalreadygone;thereweregreenandredblackberries,stellarias,anddandelions,andinanotherplacewhitedeadnettles,traveller’s—joy,clingingbedstraw,grassesflowering,whitecampions,andraggedrobins。Onecornfieldwasgloriouswithpoppies,brightscarletandpurplewhite,andthebluecorn—flowerswerebeginning。Inthelanesthetreesmetoverhead,andthewispsofhaystillhungtothestragglinghedges。Irioneofthemainroadshesteeredaperilouspassagethroughadozensurlydunoxen。Hereandtherewerelittlecottages,andpicturesquebeer—houseswiththevividbrewers’boardsofblueandscarlet,andonceabroadgreenandachurch,andanexpanseofsomehundredhousesorso。Thenhecametoapebblyrivuletthatemergedbetweenclumpsofsedgeloosestrifeandforget—me—notsunderanarchoftrees,andrippledacrosstheroad,andtherehedismounted,longingtotakeoffshoesandstockings——thosestylishchequeredstockingswerenowalldimmedwithdust——andpaddlehisleanlegsinthechucklingcheerfulwater。Butinsteadhesatinamanlyattitude,smokingacigarette,forfearlesttheYoungLadyinGreyshouldcomeglitteringroundthecorner。FortheflavouroftheYoungLadyinGreywaspresentthroughitall,mixingwiththeflowersandallthedelightofit,atouchthatmadethisseconddayquitedifferentfromthefirst,anundertoneofexpectation,anxiety,andsomethinglikeregretthatwouldnotbeignored。
Itwasonlylateinthelongeveningthat,quiteabruptly,hebegantorepent,vividlyanddecidedly,havingfledthesetwopeople。Hewasgettinghungry,andthathasacuriouseffectupontheemotionalcolouringofourminds。Themanwasasinisterbrute,Hoopdriversawinaflashofinspiration,andthegirl——shewasinsomeserioustrouble。Andhewhomighthavehelpedherhadtakenhisfirstimpulseasdecisive——andbolted。
Thisnewviewofitdepressedhimdreadfully。Whatmightnotbehappeningtohernow?Hethoughtagainofhertears。Surelyitwasmerelyhisduty,seeingthetroubleafoot,tokeephiseyeuponit。
Hebeganridingfasttogetquitofsuchselfreproaches。Hefoundhimselfinatortuoustangleofroads,andastheduskwascomingon,emerged,notatPetworthbutatEasebourne,amilefromMidhurst。"I’mgettinghungry,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,inquiringofagamekeeperinEasebournevillage。"Midhurstamile,andPetworthfive!——Thenks,I’lltakeMidhurst。"
HecameintoMidhurstbythebridgeatthewatermill,anduptheNorthStreet,andalittleshopflourishingcheerfully,thecheerfulsignofateapot,andexhibitingabrilliantarrayoftobaccos,sweets,andchildren’stoysinthewindow,struckhisfancy。Aneat,bright—eyedlittleoldladymadehimwelcome,andhewaspresentlysuppingsumptuouslyonsausagesandtea,withavisitors’bookfullofthemosthumorousandflatteringremarksaboutthelittleoldlady,inverseandprose,proppedupagainsthisteapotasheate。Regulargoodsomeofthejokeswere,andrhymesthatreadwell——evenwithyourmouthfullofsausage。Mr。
Hoopdriverformedavagueideaofdrawing"something"——forhisjudgmentonthelittleoldladywasalreadyformed。Hepicturedthelittleoldladydiscoveringitafterwards——"Mygracious!OneofthemPunchmen,"shewouldsay。Theroomhadacurtainedrecessandachestofdrawers,forpresentlyitwastobehisbedroom,andthedaypartofitwasdecoratedwithframedOddfellows’certificatesandgiltbackedbooksandportraits,andkettle—holders,andallkindsofbeautifulthingsmadeoutofwool;verycomfortableitwasindeed。Thewindowwasleadframedanddiamondpaned,andthroughitonesawthecornerofthevicarageandapleasanthillcrest,induskysilhouetteagainstthetwilightsky。Andafterthesausageshadceasedtobe,helitaRedHerringcigaretteandwentswaggeringoutintothetwilightstreet。Allshadowybluebetweenitsdarkbrickhouses,wasthestreet,withabrightyellowwindowhereandthereandsplashesofgreenandredwherethechemist’silluminationfellacrosstheroad。
ANINTERLUDE
XV
AndnowletusforaspaceleaveMr。HoopdriverintheduskyMidhurstNorthStreet,andreturntothetwofolksbesidetherailwaybridgebetweenMilfordandHaslemere。Shewasagirlofeighteen,dark,finefeatured,withbrighteyes,andarich,swiftcolourunderherwarm—tintedskin。Hereyeswereallthebrighterforthetearsthatswaminthem。Themanwasthirtythreeorfour,fair,withalongishnoseoverhanginghissandyflaxenmoustache,paleblueeyes,andaheadthatstruckoutaboveandbehind。Hestoodwithhisfeetwideapart,hishandonhiship,inanattitudethatwasequallysuggestiveofdefianceandaggression。TheyhadwatchedHoopdriveroutofsight。Theunexpectedinterruptionhadstoppedthefloodofhertears。Hetuggedhisabundantmoustacheandregardedhercalmly。Shestoodwithfaceaverted,obstinatelyresolvednottospeakfirst。"Yourbehaviour,"hesaidatlast,"makesyouconspicuous。"
Sheturneduponhim,hereyesandcheeksglowing,herhandsclenched。"YouunspeakableCAD,"shesaid,andchoked,stampedherlittlefoot,andstoodpanting。
"Unspeakablecad!Mydeargirl!PossibleIAManunspeakablecad。
Whowouldn’tbe——foryou?"
"’Deargirl!’HowDAREyouspeaktomelikethat?YOU——"
"Iwoulddoanything——"
"OH!"
Therewasamoment’spause。Shelookedsquarelyintohisface,hereyesalightwithangerandcontempt,andperhapsheflushedalittle。Hestrokedhismoustache,andbyaneffortmaintainedhiscynicalcalm。"Letusbereasonable,"hesaid。
"Reasonable!Thatmeansallthatismeanandcowardlyandsensualintheworld。"
"Youhavealwayshaditso——inyourgeneralisingway。Butletuslookatthefactsofthecase——ifthatpleasesyoubetter。"
Withanimpatientgestureshemotionedhimtogoon。
"Well,"hesaid,——"you’veeloped。"
"I’veleftmyhome,"shecorrected,withdignity。"Ileftmyhomebecauseitwasunendurable。Becausethatwoman——"
"Yes,yes。Butthepointis,youhaveelopedwithme。"
"Youcamewithme。Youpretendedtobemyfriend。Promisedtohelpmetoearnalivingbywriting。Itwasyouwhosaid,whyshouldn’tamanandwomanbefriends?Andnowyoudare——youdare——"
"Really,Jessie,thisposeofyours,thisinjuredinnocence——"
"Iwillgoback。Iforbidyou——Iforbidyoutostandintheway——"
"Onemoment。Ihavealwaysthoughtthatmylittlepupilwasatleastclear—headed。Youdon’tknoweverythingyet,youknow。
Listentomeforamoment。"
"Haven’tIbeenlistening?Andyouhaveonlyinsultedme。Youwhodaredonlytotalkoffriendship,whoscarcelydaredhintatanythingbeyond。"
"Butyoutookthehints,nevertheless。Youknew。YouKNEW。Andyoudidnotmind。MIND!Youlikedit。Itwasthefunofthewholethingforyou。ThatIlovedyou,andcouldnotspeaktoyou。Youplayedwithit——"
"Youhavesaidallthatbefore。Doyouthinkthatjustifiesyou?"
"Thatisn’tall。Imadeupmymind——Well,tomakethegamemoreeven。AndsoIsuggestedtoyouandjoinedwithyouinthisexpeditionofyours,inventedasisteratMidhurst——Itellyou,I
HAVEN’Tasister!Foroneobject——"
"Well?"
"Tocompromiseyou。"
Shestarted。Thatwasanewwayofputtingit。Forhalfaminuteneitherspoke。Thenshebeganhalfdefiantly:"MuchIamcompromised。Ofcourse——Ihavemadeafoolofmyself——"
"Mydeargirl,youarestillonthesunnysideofeighteen,andyouknowverylittleofthisworld。Lessthanyouthink。Butyouwilllearn。Beforeyouwriteallthosenovelswehavetalkedabout,youwillhavetolearn。Andthat’sonepoint——"Hehesitated。"YoustartedandblushedwhenthemanatbreakfastcalledyouMa’am。Youthoughtitafunnymistake,butyoudidnotsayanythingbecausehewasyoungandnervous——andbesides,thethoughtofbeingmywifeoffendedyourmodesty。Youdidn’tcaretonoticeit。But——yousee;IgaveyournameasMRS。Beaumont。"
Helookedalmostapologetic,inspiteofhiscynicalpose。"MRS。
Beaumont,"herepeated,pullinghisflaxenmoustacheandwatchingtheeffect。
Shelookedintohiseyesspeechless。"Iamlearningfast,"shesaidslowly,atlast。
Hethoughtthetimehadcomeforanemotionalattack。"Jessie,"
hesaid,withasuddenchangeofvoice,"Iknowallthisismean,isvillanous。ButdoyouthinkthatIhavedoneallthisscheming,allthissubterfuge,foranyotherobject——"
Shedidnotseemtolistentohiswords。"Ishallridehome,"shesaidabruptly。
"Toher?"
Shewinced。
"Justthink,"saidhe,"whatshecouldsaytoyouafterthis。"
"Anyhow,Ishallleaveyounow。"
"Yes?Andgo——"
"Gosomewheretoearnmyliving,tobeafreewoman,tolivewithoutconventionality——"
"Mydeargirl,doletusbecynical。Youhaven’tmoneyandyouhaven’tcredit。Noonewouldtakeyouin。It’soneoftwothings:
gobacktoyourstepmother,or——trusttome。"
"HowCANI?"
"Thenyoumustgobacktoher。"Hepausedmomentarily,toletthisconsiderationhaveitsproperweight。"Jessie,IdidnotmeantosaythethingsIdid。Uponmyhonour,IlostmyheadwhenIspokeso。Ifyouwill,forgiveme。Iamaman。Icouldnothelpmyself。Forgiveme,andIpromiseyou——"
"HowcanItrustyou?"
"Tryme。Icanassureyou——"
Sheregardedhimdistrustfully。
"Atanyrate,rideonwithmenow。Surelywehavebeenintheshadowofthishorriblebridgelongenough。"
"Oh!letmethink,"shesaid,halfturningfromhimandpressingherhandtoherbrow。
"THINK!Lookhere,Jessie。Itisteno’clock。Shallwecallatruceuntilone?"
Shehesitated,demandedadefinitionofthetruce,andatlastagreed。
Theymounted,androdeoninsilence,throughthesunlightandtheheather。Bothwereextremelyuncomfortableanddisappointed。
Shewaspale,dividedbetweenfearandanger。Sheperceivedshewasinascrape,andtriedinvaintothinkofawayofescape。
Onlyonetangiblethingwouldkeepinhermind,tryasshewouldtoignoreit。Thatwasthequiteirrelevantfactthathisheadwassingularlylikeanalbinococoanut。He,too,feltthwarted。
Hefeltthatthisromanticbusinessofseductionwas,afterall,unexpectedlytame。Butthiswasonlythebeginning。Atanyrate,everydayshespentwithhimwasadaygained。Perhapsthingslookedworsethantheywere;thatwassomeconsolation。
OFTHEARTIFICIALINMAN,ANDOFTHEZEITGEIST
XVI
Youhaveseenthesetwoyoungpeople——Bechamel,by—the—bye,istheman’sname,andthegirl’sisJessieMilton——fromtheoutside;youhaveheardthemtalking;theyridenowsidebyside(butnottooclosetogether,andinanuneasysilence)towardsHaslemere;andthischapterwillconcernitselfwiththosecuriouslittlecouncilchambersinsidetheirskulls,wheretheirmotivesareinsessionandtheiractsareconsideredandpassed。
Butfirstawordconcerningwigsandfalseteeth。Somejester,enlargingupontheincreaseofbaldheadsandpurblindpeople,hasdeducedawonderfulfutureforthechildrenofmen。Man,hesaid,wasnowadaysahairlesscreaturebyfortyorfifty,andforhairwegavehimawig;shrivelled,andwepaddedhim;toothless,andlo!falseteethsetingold。Didhelosealimb,andafine,new,artificialonewasathisdisposal;getindigestion,andtohandwasartificialdigestivefluidorbileorpancreatine,asthecasemightbe。Complexions,too,werereplaceable,spectaclessupersededaninefficienteye—lens,andimperceptiblefalsediaphragmswerethrustintothefailingear。Sohewentoverouranatomies,until,atlast,hehadconjuredupaweirdthingofshredsandpatches,asimulacrum,anartificialbodyofaman,withbutadoubtfulgermoflivingfleshlurkingsomewhereinhisrecesses。Tothat,heheld,wewerecoming。
Howfarsuchoddsubstitutionforthebodyispossibleneednotconcernusnow。Butthedevil,speakingbythelipsofMr。
RudyardKipling,hathitthatinthecaseofoneTomlinson,thething,sofarasthesoulisconcerned,hasalreadybeenaccomplished。Timewaswhenmenhadsimplesouls,desiresasnaturalastheireyes,alittlereasonablephilanthropy,alittlereasonablephiloprogenitiveness,hunger,andatasteforgoodliving,adecent,personalvanity,ahealthy,satisfyingpugnacity,andsoforth。Butnowwearetaughtanddisciplinedforyearsandyears,andthereafterwereadandreadforallthetimesomestrenuous,nerve—destroyingbusinesspermits。Pedagogichypnotists,pulpitandplatformhypnotists,book—writinghypnotists,newspaper—writinghypnotists,areatusall。Thissugaryouareeating,theytellus,isink,andforthwithwerejectitwithinfinitedisgust。ThisblackdraughtofunrequitedtoilisTrueHappiness,anddownitgoeswitheverysymptomofpleasure。ThisIbsen,theysay,isdullpastbelieving,andweyawnandstretchbeyondendurance。Pardon!theyinterrupt,butthisIbsenisdeepanddelightful,andweviewithoneanotherinanexcessofentertainment。Andwhenweopentheheadsofthesetwoyoungpeople,wefind,notastraightforwardmotiveonthesurfaceanywhere;wefind,indeed,notasoulsomuchasanoversoul,azeitgeist,acongestionofacquiredideas,ahighway’sfeastoffine,confusedthinking。ThegirlisresolutetoLiveHerOwnLife,aphraseyoumayhaveheardbefore,andthemanhasaprettypervertedambitiontobeacynicalartisticpersonoftheverycalmestdescription。HeishopingfortheawakeningofPassioninher,amongotherthings。HeknowsPassionoughttoawaken,fromthetext—bookshehasstudied。Heknowssheadmireshisgenius,butheisunawarethatshedoesnotadmirehishead。HeisquiteadistinguishedartcriticinLondon,andhemetheratthatcelebratedladynovelist’s,herstepmother,andhereyouhavethemwellembarkedupontheAdventure。Bothareinthefirststageofrepentance,whichconsists,asyouhaveprobablyfoundforyourself,insettingyourteethhardandsaying’"IWILLgoon。"
Things,yousee,havejarredalittle,andtheyrideontheirwaytogetherwithacertainaloofnessofmannerthatpromisesillfortheorthodoxdevelopmentoftheAdventure。Heperceiveshewastooprecipitate。Buthefeelshishonourisinvolved,andmeditatesthedevelopmentofanewattack。Andthegirl?Sheisunawakened。Hermotivesarebookish,writtenbyahaphazardsyndicateofauthors,novelists,andbiographers,onherwhiteinexperience。Anartificialoversoulsheis,thatmaypresentlybreakdownandrevealahumanbeingbeneathit。Sheisstillinthatschoolgirlphasewhenatalkativeoldmanismoreinterestingthanatongue—tiedyoungone,andwhentobeaneminentmathematician,say,ortoeditadailypaper,seemsasfineanambitionasanygirlneedaspireto。Bechanielwastohavehelpedhertoattainthatinthemostexpeditiousmanner,andhereheisbesideher,talkingenigmaticalphrasesaboutpassion,lookingatherwiththeoddestexpression,andonce,andthatwashisgravestoffence,offeringtokissher。Atanyratehehasapologised。Shestillscarcelyrealises,yousee,thescrapeshehasgotinto。
THEENCOUNTERATMIDHURST
XVII
WeleftMr。Hoopdriveratthedoorofthelittletea,toy,andtobaccoshop。YoumustnotthinkthatastrainisputoncoincidencewhenItellyouthatnextdoortoMrs。Wardor’s——thatwasthenameofthebright—eyed,littleoldladywithwhomMr。
Hoopdriverhadstopped——istheAngelHotel,andintheAngelHotel,onthenightthatMr。HoopdriverreachedMidhurst,were’Mr。’and’Miss’Beaumont,ourBechamelandJessieMilton。
Indeed,itwasahighlyprobablething;forifonegoesthroughGuildford,thechoiceofsouthwardroadsislimited;youmaygobyPetersfieldtoPortsmouth,orbyMidhursttoChichester,inadditiontowhichhighwaysthereisnothingforitbutminorroadwaystoPetworthorPulborough,andcross—cutsBrightonward。
AndcomingtoMidhurstfromthenorth,theAngel’sentranceliesyawningtoengulfyourhighlyrespectablecyclists,whileMrs。
Wardor’sgenialteapotisequallyattractivetothosewhoweightheirmeansinlittlescales。ButtopeopleunfamiliarwiththeSussexroads——andsuchwerethethreepersonsofthisstory——theconvergencedidnotappeartobesoinevitable。
Bechamel,tighteninghischainintheAngelyardafterdinner,wasthefirsttobeawareoftheirreunion。HesawHoopdriverwalkslowlyacrossthegateway,hisheadenhaloedincigarettesmoke,andpassoutofsightupthestreet。Incontinentlyamassofcloudyuneasiness,thathadbeenpartlydispelledduringtheday,reappearedandconcentratedrapidlyintodefinitesuspicion。
Heputhisscrewhammerintohispocketandwalkedthroughthearchwayintothestreet,tosettlethebusinessforthwith,forhepridedhimselfonhisdecision。Hoopdriverwasmerelypromenading,andtheymetfacetoface。
Atthesightofhisadversary,somethingbetweendisgustandlaughterseizedMr。Hoopdriverandforamomentdestroyedhisanimosity。"’Ereweareagain!"hesaid,laughinginsincerelyinasuddenoutbreakattheperversityofchance。
TheothermaninbrownstoppedshortinMr。Hoopdriver’sway,staring。Thenhisfaceassumedanexpressionofdangerouscivility。"Isitanyinformationtoyou,"hesaid,withimmensepoliteness,"whenIremarkthatyouarefollowingus?"
Mr。Hoopdriver,forsomeoccultreason,resistedhischaracteristicimpulsetoapologise。Hewantedtoannoy。theothermaninbrown,andasentencethathadcomeintohisheadinapreviousrehearsalcroppedupappropriately。"Sincewhen,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,catchinghisbreath,yetbringingthequestionoutvaliantly,nevertheless,——"sincewhen’aveyoupurchasedthecountyofSussex?"
"MayIpointout,"saidtheothermaninbrown,"thatIobject——
weobjectnotonlytoyourproximitytous。Tobefrank——youappeartobefollowingus——withanobject。"
"Youcanalways,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,"turnroundifyoudon’tlikeit,andgobackthewayyoucame。"
"Oh—o!"saidtheothermaninbrown。"THAT’Sit!Ithoughtasmuch。"
"Didyou?"saidMr。Hoopdriver,quiteatsea,butrisingpluckilytotheunknownoccasion。Whatwasthemandrivingat?
"Isee,"saidtheotherman。"Isee。Ihalfsuspected——"Hismannerchangedabruptlytoaqualitysuspiciouslyfriendly。"Yes—
—awordwithyou。Youwill,Ihope,givemetenminutes。"
WonderfulthingsweredawningonMr。Hoopdriver。Whatdidtheothermantakehimfor?Hereatlastwasreality!Hehesitated。
Thenhethoughtofanadmirablephrase。"You’avesomecommunication——"
"We’llcallitacommunication,"saidtheotherman。
"Icanspareyouthetenminutes,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,withdignity。
"Thisway,then,"saidtheothermaninbrown,andtheywalkedslowlydowntheNorthStreettowardstheGrammarSchool。Therewas,perhaps,thirtyseconds’silence。Theothermanstrokedhismoustachenervously。Mr。Hoopdriver’sdramaticinstinctswerenowfullyawake。Hedidnotquiteunderstandinwhatrolehewascast,butitwasevidentlysomethingdarkandmysterious。DoctorConanDoyle,VictorHugo,andAlexanderDumaswerewellwithinMr。Hoopdriver’srangeofreading,andhehadnotreadthemfornothing。
"Iwillbeperfectlyfrankwithyou,"saidtheothermaninbrown。
"Franknessisalwaysthebestcourse,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Well,then——whothedevilsetyouonthisbusiness?"
"SetmeONthisbusiness?"
"Don’tpretendtobestupid。Who’syouremployer?Whoengagedyouforthisjob?"
"Well,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,confused。"No——Ican’tsay。"
"Quitesure?"Theothermaninbrownglancedmeaninglydownathishand,andMr。Hoopdriver,followinghimmechanically,sawayellowmillededgeglitteringinthetwilight。Nowyourshopassistantisjustabovethetip—receivingclass,andonlyjustaboveit——sothatheisacutelysensitiveonthepoint。
Mr。Hoopdriverflushedhotly,andhiseyeswereangryashemetthoseoftheothermaninbrown。"Stowit!"saidMr。Hoopdriver,stoppingandfacingthetempter。
"What!"saidtheothermaninbrown,surprised。"Eigh?"Andsosayinghestoweditinhisbreechespocket。
"D’yerthinkI’mtobebribed?"saidMr。Hoopdriver,whoseimaginationwasrapidlyexpandingthesituation。"ByGosh!I’dfollowyounow——"
"Mydearsir,"saidtheothermaninbrown,"Ibegyourpardon。I
misunderstoodyou。Ireallybegyourpardon。Letuswalkon。Inyourprofession——"
"Whathaveyougottosayagainstmyprofession?"
"Well,really,youknow。Therearedetectivesofaninferiordescription——watchers。Thewholeclass。PrivateInquiry——Ididnotrealise——Ireallytrustyouwilloverlookwhatwas,afterall——youmustadmit——anaturalindiscretion。Menofhonourarenotsocommonintheworld——inanyprofession。"
ItwasluckyforMr。HoopdriverthatinMidhursttheydonotlightthelampsinthesummertime,ortheonetheywerepassinghadbetrayedhim。Asitwas,hehadtosnatchsuddenlyathismoustacheandtugfiercelyatit,toconcealthefurioustumultofexultation,thepassionoflaughter,thatcameboilingup。
Detective!EvenintheshadowBechamelsawthatalaughwasstifled,butheputitdowntothefactthatthephrase"menofhonour"amusedhisinterlocutor。"He’llcomeroundyet,"saidBechameltohimself。"He’ssimplyholdingoutforafiver。"Hecoughed。
"Idon’tseethatithurtsyoutotellmewhoyouremployeris。"
"Don’tyou?Ido。"
"Prompt,"saidBechamel,appreciatively。"Nowhere’sthethingI
wanttoputtoyou——thekernelofthewholebusiness。Youneednotanswerifyoudon’twantto。There’snoharmdoneinmytellingyouwhatIwanttoknow。Areyouemployedtowatchme——orMissMilton?"
"I’mnottheleakysort,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,keepingthesecrethedidnotknowwithimmenseenjoyment。MissMilton!Thatwashername。Perhapshe’dtellsomemore。"It’snogoodpumping。Isthatallyou’reafter?"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Bechamelrespectedhimselfforhisdiplomaticgifts。Hetriedtocatcharemarkbythrowingoutaconfidence。"Itakeittherearetwopeopleconcernedinwatchingthisaffair。"
"Who’stheother?"saidMr。Hoopdriver,calmly,butcontrollingwithenormousinternaltensionhisselfappreciation。"Who’stheother?"wasreallybrilliant,hethought。
"There’smywifeandHERstepmother。"
"Andyouwanttoknowwhichitis?"
"Yes,"saidBechamel。
"Well——arst’em!"saidMr。Hoopdriver,hisexultationgettingthebetterofhim,andwithaprettyconsciousnessofrepartee。"Arst’emboth。"
Bechamelturnedimpatiently。Thenhemadealasteffort。"I’dgiveafive—poundnotetoknowjusttheprecisestateofaffairs,"hesaid。
"Itoldyoutostowthat,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,inathreateningtone。Andaddedwithperfecttruthandamagnificentmystery,"Youdon’tquiteunderstandwhoyou’redealingwith。Butyouwill!"HespokewithsuchconvictionthathehalfbelievedthatthatdefectiveofficeofhisinLondon——BakerStreet,infact——
reallyexisted。
Withthattheinterviewterminated。BechamelwentbacktotheAngel,perturbed。"Hangdetectives!"Itwasn’tthekindofthinghehadanticipatedatall。Hoopdriver,withroundeyesandawonderingsmile,walkeddowntowherethemillwatersglitteredinthemoonlight,andaftermeditatingovertheparapetofthebridgeforaspace,withoccasionalmurmursof,"PrivateInquiry"
andthelike,returned,withmysteryeveninhispaces,towardsthetown。
XVIII
Thatgleewhichfindsexpressioninraisedeyebrowsandlong,lowwhistlingnoiseswasuponMr。Hoopdriver。ForaspaceheforgotthetearsoftheYoungLadyinGrey。Herewasanewgame!——andarealone。Mr。HoopdriverasaPrivateInquiryAgent,aSherlockHolmesinfact,keepingthesetwopeople’underobservation。’HewalkedslowlybackfromthebridgeuntilhewasoppositetheAngel,andstoodfortenminutes,perhaps,contemplatingthatestablishmentandenjoyingallthestrangesensationsofbeingthiswonderful,thismysteriousandterriblething。Everythingfellintoplaceinhisscheme。Hehad,ofcourse,byakindofinstinct,assumedthedisguiseofacyclist,pickedupthefirstoldcrockhecameacrossasameansofpursuit。’Noexpensewastobespared。’
Thenhetriedtounderstandwhatitwasinparticularthathewasobserving。"Mywife"——"HERstepmother!"Thenherememberedherswimmingeyes。Abruptlycameawaveofangerthatsurprisedhim,washedawaythedetectivesuperstructure,andlefthimplainMr。
Hoopdriver。Thismaninbrown,withhisconfidentmanner,andhisprofferedhalfsovereign(damnhim!)wasuptonogood,elsewhyshouldheobjecttobeingwatched?Hewasmarried!Shewasnothissister。Hebegantounderstand。AhorriblesuspicionofthestateofaffairscameintoMr。Hoopdriver’shead。SurelyithadnotcometoTHAT。Hewasadetective!——hewouldfindout。Howwasittobedone?Hebegantosubmitsketchesonapprovaltohimself。ItrequiredaneffortbeforehecouldwalkintotheAngelbar。"Alemonadeandbitter,please,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
Heclearedhisthroat。"AreMr。andMrs。Bowlongstoppinghere?"
"What,agentlemanandayounglady——onbicycles?"
"Fairlyyoung——amarriedcouple。"
"No,"saidthebarmaid,atalkativepersonofampledimensions。
"There’snomarriedcouplesstoppinghere。Butthere’saMr。andMissBEAUMONT。"Shespeltitforprecision。"Sureyou’vegotthenameright,youngman?"
"Quite,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"Beaumontthereis,butnooneofthenameof——Whatwasthenameyougave?"
"Bowlong,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"No,thereain’tnoBowlong,"saidthebarmaid,takingupaglassclothandadryingtumblerandbeginningtopolishthelatter。"Firstoff,IthoughtyoumightbeaskingforBeaumont——
thenamesbeingsimilar。Wereyouexpectingthemonbicycles?"
"Yes——theysaidtheyMIGHTbeinMidhursttonight。"
"P’rapsthey’llcomepresently。Beaumont’shere,butnoBowlong。
SurethatBeaumontain’tthename?"
"Certain,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。
"It’scuriousthenamesbeingsoalike。Ithoughtp’raps——"
Andsotheyconversedatsomelength,Mr。Hoopdriverdelightedtofindhishorriblesuspiciondisposedof。Thebarmaidhavinglistenedawhileatthestaircasevolunteeredsomeparticularsoftheyoungcoupleupstairs。Hermodestywasmuchimpressedbytheyounglady’scostume,sosheintimated,andMr。Hoopdriverwhisperedthebadinagenaturaltotheoccasion,atwhichshewascoquettishlyshocked。"There’llbenoknowingwhichiswhich,inayearortwo,"saidthebarmaid。"Andhermannertoo!Shegotoffhermachineandgiveit’imtostickupagainstthekerb,andinshemarched。’Iandmybrother,’saysshe,’wanttostophereto—night。Mybrotherdoesn’tmindwhatkindofroom’e’as,butI
wantaroomwithagoodview,ifthere’sonetobegot,’saysshe。Hecomeshurryinginafterandlooksather。’I’vesettledtherooms,’shesays,and’esays’damn!’justlikethat。Icanfancymybrotherlettingmebosstheshowlikethat。"
"Idessayyoudo,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,"ifthetruthwasknown。"
Thebarmaidlookeddown,smiledandshookherhead,putdownthetumbler,polished,andtookupanotherthathadbeendraining,andshookthedropsofwaterintoherlittlezincsink。
"She’llbeanicelittlelottomarry,"saidthebarmaid。"She’llbewearingthe——well,b—dashes,asthesayin’is。Ican’tthinkwhatgirlsiscomin’to。"
ThisdepreciationoftheYoungLadyinGreywashardlytoHoopdriver’staste。
"Fashion,"saidhe,takinguphischange。"Fashionisallthegowithyouladies——andalwayswas。You’llbewearing’emyourselfbeforeacoupleofyearsisout。"
"Nicethey’dlookonmyfigger,"saidthebarmaid,withatitter。
"No——Iain’toneofyourfashionablesort。Graciousno!I
shouldn’tfeelasifI’danythingonme,notmorethanifI’dforgot——Well,there!I’mtalking。"Sheputdowntheglassabruptly。"IdessayI’moldfashioned,"shesaid,andwalkedhummingdownthebar。
"Notyou,"saidMr。Hoopdriver。Hewaiteduntilhecaughthereye,thenwithhisnativecourtesysmiled,raisedhiscap,andwishedhergoodevening。
XIX
ThenMr。Hoopdriverreturnedtothelittleroomwiththelead—framedwindowswherehehaddined,andwherethebedwasnowcomfortablymade,satdownontheboxunderthewindow,staredatthemoonrisingontheshiningvicarageroof,andtriedtocollecthisthoughts。Howtheywhirledatfirst!Itwaspastten,andmostofMidhurstwastuckedawayinbed,someoneupthestreetwaslearningtheviolin,atrareintervalsabelatedinhabitanthurriedhomeandwoketheechoes,andacorncrakekeptupabusychurninginthevicaragegarden。Theskywasdeepblue,withastillluminousafterglowalongthehlackedgeofthehill,andthewhitemoonoverhead,saveforacoupleofyellowstars,hadtheskytoherself。
Atfirsthisthoughtswerekinetic,ofdeedsandnotrelationships。Therewasthismalefactor,andhisvictim,andithadfallenonMr。Hoopdrivertotakeahandinthegame。HEwasmarried。Didsheknowhewasmarried?NeverforamomentdidathoughtofevilconcerninghercrossHoopdriver’smind。Simple—
mindedpeopleseequestionsofmoralssomuchbetterthansuperiorpersons——whohavereadandthoughtthemselvescomplextoimpotence。Hehadheardhervoice,seenthefranklightinhereyes,andshehadbeenweeping——thatsufficed。Therightsofthecasehehadn’tproperlygrasped。Buthewould。Andthatsmirking—
—well,swinewasthemildestforhim。Herecalledtheexceedinglyunpleasantincidentoftherailwaybridge。"Thinwewon’tdetainyer,thenks,"saidMr。Hoopdriver,aloud,inastrange,unnatural,contemptiblevoice,supposedtorepresentthatofBechamel。"Oh,theBEGGAR!I’llbelevelwithhimyet。He’safraidofusdetectives——thatI’llSWEAR。"(IfMrs。Wardorshouldchancetobeontheothersideofthedoorwithinearshot,wellandgood。)
Foraspacehemeditatedchastisementsandrevenges,physicalimpossibilitiesforthemostpart,——BechamelstaggeringheadlongfromtheimpactofMr。Hoopdriver’slarge,but,totellthetruth,illsupportedfist,Bechamel’sfivefeetnineofheightliftedfromthegroundandquiveringunderavigorouslyappliedhorsewhip。Sopleasantwassuchdreaming,thatMr。Hoopdriver’speakedfaceunderthemoonlightwastransfigured。Onemighthavepairedhimwiththatwell—knownanduniversallyadmiredtriumph,’TheSoul’sAwakening,’sosweetwashisecstasy。Andpresentlywithhisthirstforrevengegluttedbysixorsevenviolentassaults,aduelandtwovigorousmurders,hismindcameroundtotheYoungLadyinGreyagain。
Shewasapluckyonetoo。HewentovertheincidentthebarmaidattheAngelhaddescribedtohim。Histhoughtsceasedtobeatorrent,smootheddowntoamirrorinwhichshewasreflectedwithinfiniteclearnessanddetail。He’dnevermetanythinglikeherbefore。Fancythatbolsterofabarmaidbeingdressedinthatway!Hewhuffedacontemptuouslaugh。Hecomparedhercolour,hervigour,hervoice,withtheYoungLadiesinBusinesswithwhomhislothadbeencast。Evenintearsshewasbeautiful,morebeautifulindeedtohim,foritmadeherseemsofterandweaker,moreaccessible。Andsuchweepingashehadseenbeforehadbeensomuchamatterofdampwhitefaces,rednoses,andhaircomingoutofcurl。Yourdraper’sassistantbecomessomethingofajudgeofweeping,becauseweepingisthecustomofallYoungLadiesinBusiness,whenforanyreasontheirservicesaredispensedwith。
Shecouldweep——and(byGosh!)shecouldsmile。HEknewthat,andrevertingtoactingabruptly,hesmiledconfidentiallyatthepuckeredpallorofthemoon。
ItisdifficulttosayhowlongMr。Hoopdriver’spensivenesslasted。Itseemedalongtimebeforehisthoughtsofactionreturned。Thenherememberedhewasa’watcher’;thatto—morrowhemustbebusy。Itwouldbeincharactertomakenotes,andhepulledouthislittlenote—book。Withthatinhandhefella—thinkingagain。Wouldthatchaptellherthe’teckswereafterthem?Ifso,wouldshebeasanxioustogetawayasHEwas?Hemustbeonthealert。Ifpossiblehemustspeaktoher。Justasignificantword,"Yourfriend——trustme!"——Itoccurredtohimthatto—morrowthesefugitivesmightriseearlytoescape。Atthathethoughtofthetimeandfounditwashalf—pasteleven。
"Lord!"saidhe,"ImustseethatIwake。"Heyawnedandrose。
Theblindwasup,andhepulledbackthelittlechintzcurtainstoletthesunlightstrikeacrosstothebed,hunghiswatchwithingoodviewofhispillow,onanailthatsupportedakettle—holder,andsatdownonhisbedtoundress。Helayawakeforalittlewhilethinkingofthewonderfulpossibilitiesofthemorrow,andthencehepassedgloriouslyintothewonderlandofdreams。