AWHISPERTOTHEREADER
　　Thereisnocharacter，howsoevergoodandfine，butitcanbedestroyedbyridicule，howsoeverpoorandwitless。
　　Observetheass，forinstance：hischaracterisaboutperfect，heisthechoicestspiritamongallthehumbleranimals，yetseewhatridiculehasbroughthimto。Insteadoffeelingcomplimentedwhenwearecalledanass，weareleftindoubt。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarApersonwhoisignorantoflegalmattersisalwaysliabletomakemistakeswhenhetriestophotographacourtscenewithhispen;
　　andsoIwasnotwillingtoletthelawchaptersinthisbookgotopresswithoutfirstsubjectingthemtorigidandexhaustingrevisionandcorrectionbyatrainedbarrister——ifthatiswhattheyarecalled。Thesechaptersareright，now，ineverydetail，fortheywererewrittenundertheimmediateeyeofWilliamHicks，whostudiedlawpartofawhileinsouthwestMissourithirty—fiveyearsagoandthencameoverheretoFlorenceforhishealthandisstillhelpingforexerciseandboardinMacaroniVermicelli’shorse—feedshed，whichisupthebackalleyasyouturnaroundthecorneroutofthePiazzadelDuomojustbeyondthehousewherethatstonethatDanteusedtositonsixhundredyearsagoisletintothewallwhenheletontobewatchingthembuildGiotto’scampanileandyetalwaysgottiredlookingasBeatricepassedalongonherwaytogetachunkofchestnutcaketodefendherselfwithincaseofaGhibellineoutbreakbeforeshegottoschool，atthesameoldstandwheretheysellthesameoldcaketothisdayanditisjustaslightandgoodasitwasthen，too，andthisisnotflattery，farfromit。
　　Hewasalittlerustyonhislaw，butherubbedupforthisbook，andthosetwoorthreelegalchaptersarerightandstraight，now。
　　Hetoldmesohimself。
　　GivenundermyhandthisseconddayofJanuary，1893，attheVillaViviani，villageofSettignano，threemilesbackofFlorence，onthehills——
　　thesamecertainlyaffordingthemostcharmingviewtobefoundonthisplanet，andwithitthemostdreamlikeandenchantingsunsetstobefoundinanyplanetoreveninanysolarsystem——andgiven，too，intheswellroomofthehouse，withthebustsofCerretanisenatorsandothergrandeesofthislinelookingapprovinglydownuponme，astheyusedtolookdownuponDante，andmutelyaskingmetoadoptthemintomyfamily，whichIdowithpleasure，formyremotestancestorsarebutspringchickenscomparedwiththeserobedandstatelyantiques，anditwillbeagreatandsatisfyingliftforme，thatsixhundredyearswill。
　　MarkTwain。
　　CHAPTER1
　　Pudd’nheadWinsHisNameTellthetruthortrump——butgetthetrick。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarThesceneofthischronicleisthetownofDawson’sLanding，ontheMissourisideoftheMississippi，halfaday’sjourney，persteamboat，belowSt。Louis。
　　In1830itwasasnugcollectionofmodestone—andtwo—storyframedwellings，whosewhitewashedexteriorswerealmostconcealedfromsightbyclimbingtanglesofrosevines，honeysuckles，andmorningglories。Eachoftheseprettyhomeshadagardeninfrontfencedwithwhitepalingsandopulentlystockedwithhollyhocks，marigolds，touch—me—nots，prince’s—feathers，andotherold—fashionedflowers;
　　whileonthewindowsillsofthehousesstoodwoodenboxescontainingmossroseplantsandterra—cottapotsinwhichgrewabreedofgeraniumwhosespreadofintenselyredblossomsaccentedtheprevailingpinktintoftherose—cladhouse—frontlikeanexplosionofflame。Whentherewasroomontheledgeoutsideofthepotsandboxesforacat，thecatwasthere——
　　insunnyweather——stretchedatfulllength，asleepandblissful，withherfurrybellytothesunandapawcurvedoverhernose。
　　Thenthathousewascomplete，anditscontentmentandpeaceweremademanifesttotheworldbythissymbol，whosetestimonyisinfallible。
　　Ahomewithoutacat——andawell—fed，well—petted，andproperlyreveredcat——
　　maybeaperfecthome，perhaps，buthowcanitprovetitle？
　　Allalongthestreets，onbothsides，attheouteredgeofthebricksidewalks，stoodlocusttreeswithtrunksprotectedbywoodenboxing，andthesefurnishedshadeforsummerandasweetfragrancerinspring，whentheclustersofbudscameforth。Themainstreet，oneblockbackfromtheriver，andrunningparallelwithit，wasthesolebusinessstreet。Itwassixblockslong，andineachblocktwoorthreebrickstores，threestorieshigh，toweredaboveinterjectedbunchesoflittleframeshops。Swingingsignscreakedinthewindthestreet’swholelength。Thecandy—stripedpole，whichindicatesnobilityproudandancientalongthepalace—borderedcanalsofVenice，indicatedmerelythehumblebarbershopalongthemainstreetofDawson’sLanding。
　　Onachiefcornerstoodaloftyunpaintedpolewreathedfromtoptobottomwithtinpotsandpansandcups，thechieftinmonger’snoisynoticetotheworld（whenthewindblew）thathisshopwasonhandforbusinessatthatcorner。
　　Thehamlet’sfrontwaswashedbytheclearwatersofthegreatriver;
　　itsbodystretcheditselfrearwardupagentleincline;
　　itsmostrearwardborderfringeditselfoutandscattereditshousesaboutitsbaselineofthehills;thehillsrosehigh，enclosingthetowninahalf—mooncurve，clothedwithforestsfromfoottosummit。
　　Steamboatspassedupanddowneveryhourorso。ThosebelongingtothelittleCairolineandthelittleMemphislinealwaysstopped;
　　thebigOrleanslinersstoppedforhailsonly，ortolandpassengersorfreight;andthiswasthecasealsowiththegreatflotillaof"transients。"Theselattercameoutofadozenrivers——
　　theIllinois，theMissouri，theUpperMississippi，theOhio，theMonongahela，theTennessee，theRedRiver，theWhiteRiver，andsoon——andwereboundeverywhitherandstockedwitheveryimaginablecomfortornecessity，whichtheMississippi’scommunitiescouldwant，fromthefrostyFallsofSt。AnthonydownthroughnineclimatestotorridNewOrleans。
　　Dawson’sLandingwasaslaveholdingtown，witharich，slave—workedgrainandporkcountrybackofit。Thetownwassleepyandcomfortableandcontented。Itwasfiftyyearsold，andwasgrowingslowly——
　　veryslowly，infact，butstillitwasgrowing。
　　ThechiefcitizenwasYorkLeicesterDriscoll，aboutfortyyearsold，judgeofthecountycourt。HewasveryproudofhisoldVirginianancestry，andinhishospitalitiesandhisratherformalandstatelymanners，hekeptupitstraditions。Hewasfineandjustandgenerous。
　　Tobeagentleman——agentlemanwithoutstainorblemish——washisonlyreligion，andtoithewasalwaysfaithful。Hewasrespected，esteemed，andbelovedbyallofthecommunity。Hewaswelloff，andwasgraduallyaddingtohisstore。Heandhiswifewereverynearlyhappy，butnotquite，fortheyhadnochildren。Thelongingforthetreasureofachildhadgrownstrongerandstrongerastheyearsslippedaway，buttheblessingnevercame——andwasnevertocome。
　　Withthispairlivedthejudge’swidowedsister，Mrs。RachelPratt，andshealsowaschildless——childless，andsorrowfulforthatreason，andnottobecomforted。Thewomenweregoodandcommonplacepeople，anddidtheirduty，andhadtheirrewardinclearconsciencesandthecommunity’sapprobation。TheywerePresbyterians，thejudgewasafreethinker。
　　PembrokeHoward，lawyerandbachelor，agedalmostforty，wasanotheroldVirginiangrandeewithproveddescentfromtheFirstFamilies。
　　Hewasafine，majesticcreature，agentlemanaccordingtothenicestrequirementsoftheVirginiarule，adevotedPresbyterian，anauthorityonthe"code"，andamanalwayscourteouslyreadytostandupbeforeyouinthefieldifanyactorwordofhishadseemeddoubtfulorsuspicioustoyou，andexplainitwithanyweaponyoumightpreferfrombradawlstoartillery。
　　Hewasverypopularwiththepeople，andwasthejudge’sdearestfriend。
　　ThentherewasColonelCecilBurleighEssex，anotherF。F。V。
　　offormidablecaliber——however，withhimwehavenoconcern。
　　PercyNorthumberlandDriscoll，brothertothejudge，andyoungerthanhebyfiveyears，wasamarriedman，andhadhadchildrenaroundhishearthstone;buttheywereattackedindetailbymeasles，croup，andscarletfever，andthishadgiventhedoctorachancewithhiseffectiveantediluvianmethods;sothecradleswereempty。Hewasaprosperousman，withagoodheadforspeculations，andhisfortunewasgrowing。OnthefirstofFebruary，1830，twoboybabeswereborninhishouse;onetohim，onetooneofhisslavegirls，Roxanabyname。
　　Roxanawastwentyyearsold。Shewasupandaroundthesameday，withherhandsfull，forshewastendingbothbabes。
　　Mrs。PercyDriscolldiedwithintheweek。Roxyremainedinchargeofthechildren。Shehadherownway，forMr。Driscollsoonabsorbedhimselfinhisspeculationsandlefthertoherowndevices。
　　InthatsamemonthofFebruary，Dawson’sLandinggainedanewcitizen。
　　ThiswasMr。DavidWilson，ayoungfellowofScotchparentage。
　　HehadwanderedtothisremoteregionfromhisbirthplaceintheinterioroftheStateofNewYork，toseekhisfortune。Hewastwenty—fiveyearsold，collegebred，andhadfinishedapost—collegecourseinanEasternlawschoolacoupleofyearsbefore。
　　Hewasahomely，freckled，sandy—hairedyoungfellow，withanintelligentblueeyethathadfranknessandcomradeshipinitandacoverttwinkleofapleasantsort。Butforanunfortunateremarkofhis，hewouldnodoubthaveenteredatonceuponasuccessfulcareeratDawson’sLanding。
　　Buthemadehisfatalremarkthefirstdayhespentinthevillage，andit"gaged"him。Hehadjustmadetheacquaintanceofagroupofcitizenswhenaninvisibledogbegantoyelpandsnarlandhowlandmakehimselfverycomprehensivelydisagreeable，whereuponyoungWilsonsaid，muchasonewhoisthinkingaloud：
　　"IwishIownedhalfofthatdog。"
　　"Why？"somebodyasked。
　　"BecauseIwouldkillmyhalf。"
　　Thegroupsearchedhisfacewithcuriosity，withanxietyeven，butfoundnolightthere，noexpressionthattheycouldread。
　　Theyfellawayfromhimasfromsomethinguncanny，andwentintoprivacytodiscusshim。Onesaid：
　　"’Pearstobeafool。"
　　"’Pears？"saidanother。"_Is，_Ireckonyoubettersay。"
　　"Saidhewishedheowned_half_ofthedog，theidiot，"saidathird。
　　"Whatdidhereckonwouldbecomeoftheotherhalfifhekilledhishalf？
　　Doyoureckonhethoughtitwouldlive？"
　　"Why，hemusthavethoughtit，unlessheISthedownrightestfoolintheworld;becauseifhehadn’tthoughtit，hewouldhavewantedtoownthewholedog，knowingthatifhekilledhishalfandtheotherhalfdied，hewouldberesponsibleforthathalfjustthesameasifhehadkilledthathalfinsteadofhisown。Don’titlookthatwaytoyou，gents？"
　　"Yes，itdoes。Ifheownedonehalfofthegeneraldog，itwouldbeso;
　　ifheownedoneendofthedogandanotherpersonownedtheotherend，itwouldbeso，justthesame;particularlyinthefirstcase，becauseifyoukillonehalfofageneraldog，thereain’tanymanthatcantellwhosehalfitwas;butifheownedoneendofthedog，maybehecouldkillhisendofitand——"
　　"No，hecouldn’teither;hecouldn’tandnotberesponsibleiftheotherenddied，whichitwould。Inmyopinionthatmanain’tinhisrightmind。"
　　"Inmyopinionhehain’t_got_anymind。"
　　No。3said："Well，he’salummox，anyway。"
　　That’swhatheis;"saidNo。4。"He’salabrick——justaSimon—purelabrick，iftherewasone。"
　　"Yes，sir，he’sadamfool。That’sthewayIputhimup，"saidNo。5。
　　"Anybodycanthinkdifferentthatwantsto，butthosearemysentiments。"
　　"I’mwithyou，gentlemen，"saidNo。6。"Perfectjackass——yes，anditain’tgoingtoofartosayheisapudd’nhead。
　　Ifheain’tapudd’nhead，Iain’tnojudge，that’sall。"
　　Mr。Wilsonstoodelected。Theincidentwastoldalloverthetown，andgravelydiscussedbyeverybody。Withinaweekhehadlosthisfirstname;Pudd’nheadtookitsplace。Intimehecametobeliked，andwelllikedtoo;butbythattimethenicknamehadgotwellstuckon，anditstayed。Thatfirstday’sverdictmadehimafool，andhewasnotabletogetitsetaside，orevenmodified。Thenicknamesoonceasedtocarryanyharshorunfriendlyfeelingwithit，butithelditsplace，andwastocontinuetoholditsplacefortwentylongyears。
　　CHAPTER2
　　DriscollSparesHisSlavesAdamwasbuthuman——thisexplainsitall。Hedidnotwanttheapplefortheapple’ssake，hewanteditonlybecauseitwasforbidden。
　　Themistakewasinnotforbiddingtheserpent;thenhewouldhaveeatentheserpent。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarPudd’nheadWilsonhadatrifleofmoneywhenhearrived，andheboughtasmallhouseontheextremewesternvergeofthetown。
　　BetweenitandJudgeDriscoll’shousetherewasonlyagrassyyard，withapalingfencedividingthepropertiesinthemiddle。
　　Hehiredasmallofficedowninthetownandhungoutatinsignwiththesewordsonit：
　　DAVIDWILSON
　　ATTORNEYANDCOUNSELOR—AT—LAW
　　SURVEYING，CONVEYANCING，ETC。
　　Buthisdeadlyremarkhadruinedhischance——atleastinthelaw。
　　Noclientscame。Hetookdownhissign，afterawhile，andputituponhisownhousewiththelawfeaturesknockedoutofit。
　　Itofferedhisservicesnowinthehumblecapacitiesoflandsurveyorandexpertaccountant。Nowandthenhegotajobofsurveyingtodo，andnowandthenamerchantgothimtostraightenouthisbooks。
　　WithScotchpatienceandpluckheresolvedtolivedownhisreputationandworkhiswayintothelegalfieldyet。Poorfellow，hecouldforeseethatitwasgoingtotakehimsuchawearylongtimetodoit。
　　Hehadarichabundanceofidletime，butitneverhungheavyonhishands，forheinterestedhimselfineverynewthingthatwasbornintotheuniverseofideas，andstudiedit，andexperimenteduponitathishouse。
　　Oneofhispetfadswaspalmistry。Toanotheronehegavenoname，neitherwouldheexplaintoanybodywhatitspurposewas，butmerelysaiditwasanamusement。Infact，hehadfoundthathisfadsaddedtohisreputationasapudd’nhead;there，hewasgrowingcharyofbeingtoocommunicativeaboutthem。Thefadwithoutanamewasonewhichdealtwithpeople’sfingermarks。Hecarriedinhiscoatpocketashallowboxwithgroovesinit，andinthegroovesstripsofglassfiveincheslongandthreeincheswide。Alongtheloweredgeofeachstripwaspastedaslipofwhitepaper。Heaskedpeopletopasstheirhandsthroughtheirhair（thuscollectinguponthemathincoatingofthenaturaloil）andthenmakingathumb—markonaglassstrip，followingitwiththemarkoftheballofeachfingerinsuccession。Underthisrowoffaintgreaseprintshewouldwritearecordonthestripofwhitepaper——thus：
　　JOHNSMITH，righthand——
　　andaddthedayofthemonthandtheyear，thentakeSmith’slefthandonanotherglassstrip，andaddnameanddateandthewords"lefthand。"
　　Thestripswerenowreturnedtothegroovedbox，andtooktheirplaceamongwhatWilsoncalledhis"records。"
　　Heoftenstudiedhisrecords，examiningandporingoverthemwithabsorbinginterestuntilfarintothenight;butwhathefoundthere——
　　ifhefoundanything——herevealedtonoone。Sometimeshecopiedonpapertheinvolvedanddelicatepatternleftbytheballofthefinger，andthenvastlyenlargeditwithapantographsothathecouldexamineitswebofcurvinglineswitheaseandconvenience。
　　Oneswelteringafternoon——itwasthefirstdayofJuly，1830——
　　hewasatworkoverasetoftangledaccountbooksinhisworkroom，whichlookedwestwardoverastretchofvacantlots，whenaconversationoutsidedisturbedhim。Itwascarriedonityells，whichshowedthatthepeopleengagedinitwerenotclosetogether。
　　"Say，Roxy，howdoesyo’babycomeon？"Thisfromthedistantvoice。
　　"Fust—rate。Howdoes_you_comeon，Jasper？"Thisyellwasfromcloseby。
　　"Oh，I’smiddlin’;hain’tgotnoth’n’tocomplainof，I’sgwinetocomea—court’nyoubimeby，Roxy。"
　　"_You_is，youblackmudcat！Yah——yah——yah！Igotsomep’n’bettertododen’sociat’n’widniggersasblackasyouis。IsoleMissCooper’sNancydonegiveyoudemitten？"Roxyfollowedthissallywithanotherdischargeofcarefreelaughter。
　　"You’sjealous，Roxy，dat’swhat’sdematterwidyou，youhussy——yah——yah——yah！Dat’sdetimeIgotyou！"
　　"Oh，yes，_you_gotme，hain’tyou。’Clahtogoodnessifdatconceito’yo’nstrikesin，Jasper，itgwinetokillyousho’。Ifyoub’longedtome，I’dsellyoudownderiver’fo’yougittoofurgone。
　　FusttimeIrunsacrostyo’marster，I’sgwinetotellhimso。"
　　Thisidleandaimlessjabberwentonandon，bothpartiesenjoyingthefriendlyduelandeachwellsatisfiedwithhisownshareofthewitexchanged——forwittheyconsideredit。
　　Wilsonsteppedtothewindowtoobservethecombatants;hecouldnotworkwhiletheirchattercontinued。OverinthevacantlotswasJasper，young，coalblack，andofmagnificentbuild，sittingonawheelbarrowinthepeltingsun——atwork，supposably，whereashewasinfactonlypreparingforitbytakinganhour’srestbeforebeginning。InfrontofWilson’sporchstoodRoxy，withalocalhandmadebabywagon，inwhichsathertwocharges——oneateachendandfacingeachother。
　　FromRoxy’smannerofspeech，astrangerwouldhaveexpectedhertobeblack，butshewasnot。Onlyonesixteenthofherwasblack，andthatsixteenthdidnotshow。Shewasofmajesticformandstature，herattitudeswereimposingandstatuesque，andhergesturesandmovementsdistinguishedbyanobleandstatelygrace。Hercomplexionwasveryfair，withtherosyglowofvigoroushealthinhercheeks，herfacewasfullofcharacterandexpression，hereyeswerebrownandliquid，andshehadaheavysuitoffinesofthairwhichwasalsobrown，butthefactwasnotapparentbecauseherheadwasboundaboutwithacheckeredhandkerchiefandthehairwasconcealedunderit。Herfacewasshapely，intelligent，andcomely——evenbeautiful。Shehadaneasy，independentcarriage——whenshewasamongherowncaste——andahighand"sassy"way，withal;butofcourseshewasmeekandhumbleenoughwherewhitepeoplewere。
　　ToallintentsandpurposesRoxywasaswhiteasanybody，buttheonesixteenthofherwhichwasblackoutvotedtheotherfifteenpartsandmadeheraNegro。Shewasaslave，andsalableassuch。Herchildwasthirty—onepartswhite，andhe，too，wasaslave，andbyafictionoflawandcustomaNegro。Hehadblueeyesandflaxencurlslikehiswhitecomrade，buteventhefatherofthewhitechildwasabletotellthechildrenapart——littleashehadcommercewiththem——bytheirclothes;
　　forthewhitebabeworeruffledsoftmuslinandacoralnecklace，whiletheotherworemerelyacoarsetow—linenshirtwhichbarelyreachedtoitsknees，andnojewelry。
　　Thewhitechild’snamewasThomasaBecketDriscoll，theother’snamewasValetdeChambre：nosurname——slaveshadn’ttheprivilege。
　　Roxanahadheardthatphrasesomewhere，thefinesoundofithadpleasedherear，andasshehadsupposeditwasaname，sheloadeditontoherdarling。
　　Itsoongotshortedto"Chambers，"ofcourse。
　　WilsonknewRoxybysight，andwhentheduelofwitsbeguntoplayout，hesteppedoutsidetogatherinarecordortwo。Jasperwenttoworkenergetically，atonce，perceivingthathisleisurewasobserved。
　　Wilsoninspectedthechildrenandasked：
　　"Howoldarethey，Roxy？"
　　"Bofedesameage，sir——fivemonths。Bawndefusto’Feb’uary。"
　　"They’rehandsomelittlechaps。One’sjustashandsomeastheother，too。"
　　Adelightedsmileexposedthegirl’swhiteteeth，andshesaid：
　　"Blessyo’soul，MistoWilson，it’spow’fulniceo’youtosaydat，’ca’seoneof’emain’ton’yanigger。Mightyprimelittlenigger，_I_al’ayssays，butdat’s’ca’seit’smine，o’course。"
　　"Howdoyoutellthemapart，Roxy，whentheyhaven’tanyclotheson？"
　　Roxylaughedalaughproportionedtohersize，andsaid：
　　"Oh，_I_kintell’em’part，MistoWilson，butIbetMarsePercycouldn’t，nottosavehislife。"
　　Wilsonchattedalongforawhile，andpresentlygotRoxy’sfingerprintsforhiscollection——righthandandleft——onacoupleofhisglassstrips;
　　thenlabeledanddatedthem，andtookthe"records"ofbothchildren，andlabeledanddatedthemalso。
　　Twomonthslater，onthethirdofSeptember，hetookthistriooffingermarksagain。Helikedtohavea"series，"twoorthree"takings"
　　atintervalsduringtheperiodofchildhood，thesetobefollowedatintervalsofseveralyears。
　　Thenextday——thatistosay，onthefourthofSeptember——somethingoccurredwhichprofoundlyimpressedRoxana。Mr。Driscollmissedanothersmallsumofmoney——whichisawayofsayingthatthiswasnotanewthing，buthadhappenedbefore。Intruth，ithadhappenedthreetimesbefore。
　　Driscoll’spatiencewasexhausted。Hewasafairlyhumanemantowardslavesandotheranimals;hewasanexceedinglyhumanemantowardtheerringofhisownrace。Thefthecouldnotabide，andplainlytherewasathiefinhishouse。NecessarilythethiefmustbeoneofhisNegros。
　　Sharpmeasuresmustbetaken。Hecalledhisservantsbeforehim。
　　Therewerethreeofthese，besidesRoxy：aman，awoman，andaboytwelveyearsold。Theywerenotrelated。Mr。Driscollsaid：
　　"Youhaveallbeenwarnedbefore。Ithasdonenogood。ThistimeI
　　willteachyoualesson。Iwillsellthethief。Whichofyouistheguiltyone？"
　　Theyallshudderedatthethreat，forheretheyhadagoodhome，andanewonewaslikelytobeachangefortheworse。Thedenialwasgeneral。Nonehadstolenanything——notmoney，anyway——alittlesugar，orcake，orhoney，orsomethinglikethat，that"MarsePercywouldn’tmindormiss"butnotmoney——neveracentofmoney。Theywereeloquentintheirprotestations，butMr。Driscollwasnotmovedbythem。
　　Heansweredeachinturnwithastern"Namethethief！"
　　Thetruthwas，allwereguiltybutRoxana;shesuspectedthattheotherswereguilty，butshedidnotknowthemtobeso。Shewashorrifiedtothinkhownearshehadcometobeingguiltyherself;shehadbeensavedinthenickoftimebyarevivalinthecoloredMethodistChurch，afortnightbefore，atwhichtimeandplaceshe"gotreligion。"
　　Theverynextdayafterthatgraciousexperience，whileherchangeofstylewasfreshuponherandshewasvainofherpurifiedcondition，hermasterleftacoupledollarsunprotectedonhisdesk，andshehappeneduponthattemptationwhenshewaspolishingaroundwithadustrag。
　　Shelookedatthemoneyawhilewithasteadyrisingresentment，thensheburstoutwith：
　　"Dadblamedatrevival，Iwishtithad’a’be’nputofftilltomorrow！"
　　Thenshecoveredthetempterwithabook，andanothermemberofthekitchencabinetgotit。Shemadethissacrificeasamatterofreligiousetiquette;asathingnecessaryjustnow，butbynomeanstobewrestedintoaprecedent;no，aweekortwowouldlimberupherpiety，thenshewouldberationalagain，andthenexttwodollarsthatgotleftoutinthecoldwouldfindacomforter——andshecouldnamethecomforter。
　　Wasshebad？Wassheworsethanthegeneralrunofherrace？No。
　　Theyhadanunfairshowinthebattleoflife，andtheyhelditnosintotakemilitaryadvantageoftheenemy——inasmallway;inasmallway，butnotinalargeone。Theywouldsmouchprovisionsfromthepantrywhenevertheygotachance;orabrassthimble，oracakeofwax，oranemerybag，orapaperofneedles，orasilverspoon，oradollarbill，orsmallarticlesofclothing，oranyotherpropertyoflightvalue;
　　andsofarweretheyfromconsideringsuchreprisalssinful，thattheywouldgotochurchandshoutandpraytheloudestandsincerestwiththeirplunderintheirpockets。Afarmsmokehousehadtobekeptheavilypadlocked，oreventhecoloreddeaconhimselfcouldnotresistahamwhenProvidenceshowedhiminadream，orotherwise，wheresuchathinghunglonesome，andlongedforsomeonetolove。Butwithahundredhangingbeforehim，thedeaconwouldnottaketwo——thatis，onthesamenight。
　　OnfrostynightsthehumaneNegroprowlerwouldwarmtheendoftheplankandputitupunderthecoldclawsofchickensroostinginatree;
　　adrowsyhenwouldstepontothecomfortableboard，softlycluckinghergratitude，andtheprowlerwoulddumpherintohisbag，andlaterintohisstomach，perfectlysurethatintakingthistriflefromthemanwhodailyrobbedhimofaninestimabletreasure——hisliberty——hewasnotcommittinganysinthatGodwouldrememberagainsthimintheLastGreatDay。
　　"Namethethief！"
　　ForthefourthtimeMr。Driscollhadsaidit，andalwaysinthesamehardtone。Andnowheaddedthesewordsofawfulimport：
　　"Igiveyouoneminute。"Hetookouthiswatch。"Ifattheendofthattime，youhavenotconfessed，Iwillnotonlysellallfourofyou，BUT——IwillsellyouDOWNTHERIVER！"
　　Itwasequivalenttocondemningthemtohell！NoMissouriNegrodoubtedthis。Roxyreeledinhertracks，andthecolorvanishedoutofherface;theothersdroppedtotheirkneesasiftheyhadbeenshot;
　　tearsgushedfromtheireyes，theirsupplicatinghandswentup，andthreeanswerscameintheoneinstant。
　　"Idoneit！"
　　"Idoneit！"
　　"Idoneit！——havemercy，marster——Lordhavemercyonuspo’niggers！"
　　"Verygood，"saidthemaster，puttinguphiswatch，"Iwillsellyou_here_thoughyoudon’tdeserveit。Yououghttobesolddowntheriver。"
　　Theculpritsflungthemselvesprone，inanecstasyofgratitude，andkissedhisfeet，declaringthattheywouldneverforgethisgoodnessandneverceasetoprayforhimaslongastheylived。
　　Theyweresincere，forlikeagodhehadstretchedforthhismightyhandandclosedthegatesofhellagainstthem。Heknew，himself，thathehaddoneanobleandgraciousthing，andwasprivatelywellpleasedwithhismagnanimity;andthatnighthesettheincidentdowninhisdiary，sothathissonmightreaditinafteryears，andbetherebymovedtodeedsofgentlenessandhumanityhimself。
　　CHAPTER3
　　RoxyPlaysaShrewdTrickWhoeverhaslivedlongenoughtofindoutwhatlifeis，knowshowdeepadebtofgratitudeweowetoAdam，thefirstgreatbenefactorofourrace。Hebroughtdeathintotheworld。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarPercyDriscollsleptwellthenighthesavedhishouseminionsfromgoingdowntheriver，butnowinkofsleepvisitedRoxy’seyes。
　　Aprofoundterrorhadtakenpossessionofher。Herchildcouldgrowupandbesolddowntheriver！Thethoughtcrazedherwithhorror。
　　Ifshedozedandlostherselfforamoment，thenextmomentshewasonherfeetflyingtoherchild’scradletoseeifitwasstillthere。
　　Thenshewouldgatherittoherheartandpouroutherloveuponitinafrenzyofkisses，moaning，crying，andsaying，"Deysha’n’t，oh，dey_sha’nt’！’_——yo’po’mammywillkillyoufust！"
　　Once，whenshewastuckinghimbackinitscradleagain，theotherchildnestledinitssleepandattractedherattention。Shewentandstoodoveritalongtimecommuningwithherself。
　　"Whathasmypo’babydone，dathecouldn’thaveyo’luck？
　　Hehain’tdonenuth’n。Godwasgoodtoyou;whywarn’thegoodtohim？
　　Deycan’tsell_you_downderiver。Ihatesyo’pappy;hehain’tgotnoheart——forniggers，hehain’t，anyways。Ihateshim，enIcouldkillhim！"Shepausedawhile，thinking;thensheburstintowildsobbingsagain，andturnedaway，saying，"Oh，Igottokillmychile，deyain’tnoyutherway——killin’_him_wouldn’tsavedechilefumgoin’
　　downderiver。Oh，Igottodoit，yo’po’mammy’sgottokillyoutosaveyou，honey。"Shegatheredherbabytoherbosomnow，andbegantosmotheritwithcaresses。"Mammy’sgottokillyou——how_kin_Idoit！
　　Butyo’mammyain’tgwinetodesertyou——no，no，_dah_，don’tcry——
　　shegwine_wid_you，shegwinetokillherselftoo。Comealong，honey，comealongwidmammy;wegwinetojumpinderiver，dentroubleso’disworl’isallover——deydon’tsellpo’niggersdowntheriverover_yonder_。"
　　Shestaredtowardthedoor，crooningtothechildandhushingit;
　　midwayshestopped，suddenly。ShehadcaughtsightofhernewSundaygown——
　　acheapcurtain—calicothing，aconflagrationofgaudycolorsandfantasticfigures。Shesurveyeditwistfully，longingly。
　　"Hain’teverworeityet，"shesaid，"enit’sjustlovely。"
　　Thenshenoddedherheadinresponsetoapleasantidea，andadded，"No，Iain’tgwinetobefishedout，wideverybodylookin’atme，indismis’ableolelinsey—woolsey。"
　　Sheputdownthechildandmadethechange。Shelookedintheglassandwasastonishedatherbeauty。Sheresolvedtomakeherdeathtoiletperfect。
　　Shetookoffherhandkerchiefturbananddressedherglossywealthofhair"likewhitefolks";sheaddedsomeoddsandendsofratherluridribbonandasprayofatrociousartificialflowers;finallyshethrewoverhershouldersafluffythingcalleda"cloud"inthatday，whichwasofablazingredcomplexion。Thenshewasreadyforthetomb。
　　Shegatheredupherbabyoncemore;butwhenhereyefelluponitsmiserablyshortlittlegraytow—linenshirtandnotedthecontrastbetweenitspaupershabbinessandherownvolcaniceruptionofinfernalsplendors，hermother—heartwastouched，andshewasashamed。
　　"No，dollingmammyain’tgwinetotreatyouso。Deangelsisgwineto’mireyoujistasmuchasdeydoes’yomammy。Ain’tgwinetohave’emputt’ndeyhan’sup’fo’deyeyesensayin’toDavidandGoliahendemyutherprophets，’Datchileisdress’toindelicatefo’displace。’"
　　Bythistimeshehadstrippedofftheshirt。NowsheclothedthenakedlittlecreatureinoneofThomas`aBecket’ssnowy，longbabygowns，withitsbrightbluebowsanddaintyflummeryofruffles。
　　"Dah——nowyou’sfixed。"Sheproppedthechildinachairandstoodofftoinspectit。Straightwayhereyesbeguntowidenwithastonishmentandadmiration，andsheclappedherhandsandcriedout，"Why，itdobeatall！I_never_knowedyouwassolovely。
　　MarseTommyain’tabitputtier——notasinglebit。"
　　Shesteppedoverandglancedattheotherinfant;’sheflungaglancebackatherown;thenonemoreattheheirofthehouse。Nowastrangelightdawnedinhereyes，andinamomentshewaslostinthought。
　　Sheseemedinatrance;whenshecameoutofit，shemuttered，"WhenI’uza—washin’’emindetub，yistiddy，heownpappyaskedmewhichof’emwashis’n。"
　　Shebegantomovearoundlikeoneinadream。SheundressedThomas`aBecket，strippinghimofeverything，andputthetow—linenshirtonhim。Sheputhiscoralnecklaceonherownchild’sneck。
　　Thensheplacedthechildrensidebyside，andafterearnestinspectionshemuttered：
　　"Nowwhowouldb’lieveclo’escoulddodelikeo’dat？Dogmycatsifitain’tall_I_kindototellt’otherfumwhich，letalonehispappy。"
　　SheputhercubinTommy’selegantcradleandsaid：
　　"You’syoungMarse_Tom_fumdisout，enIgottopracticeandgitusedto’memberin’tocallyoudat，honey，orI’sgwinetomakeamistakesometimeengitusbofeintotrouble。Dah——nowyoulaystillendon’tfretnomo’，MarseTom。Oh，thankdelordinheaven，you’ssaved，you’ssaved！Deyain’tnomankineversellmammy’spo’littlehoneydownderivernow！"
　　Sheputtheheirofthehouseinherownchild’sunpaintedpinecradle，andsaid，contemplatingitsslumberingformuneasily：
　　"I’ssorryforyou，honey;I’ssorry，GodknowsIis——butwhat_kin_Ido，what_could_Ido？Yo’pappywouldsellhimtosomebody，sometime，endenhe’dgodownderiver，sho’，enIcouldn’t，couldn’t，_couldn’t_stan’it。"
　　Sheflungherselfonherbedandbegantothinkandtoss，tossandthink。
　　Byandbyshesatsuddenlyupright，foracomfortingthoughthadflownthroughherworriedmind——
　　"’Tain’tnosin——_white_folkshasdoneit！Itain’tnosin，glorytogoodnessitain’tnosin！_Dey’s_doneit——yes，endeywasdebiggestqualityindewholebilin’，too——_kings！"_
　　Shebegantomuse;shewastryingtogatheroutofhermemorythedimparticularsofsometaleshehadheardsometimeorother。
　　Atlastshesaid——
　　"NowI’sgotit;nowI’member。Itwasdatoleniggerpreacherdattoleit，detimehecomeoverherefumIllinoisenpreachedindeniggerchurch。Hesaiddeyain’tnobodykinsavehisownself——
　　can’tdoitbyfaith，can’tdoitbyworks，can’tdoitnowayatall。
　　Freegraceisde_on’y_way，endatdon’tcomefumnobodybutjis’deLord;
　　en_he_kingiveittoanybodyHeplease，saintorsinner——_he_don’tkyer。
　　Hedojis’asHe’samineter。Hes’lectoutanybodydatsuitHim，enputanotheroneinhisplace，andmakedefustonehappyforeverenleavet’otheronetoburnwidSatan。DepreachersaiditwasjistlikedeydoneinEnglan’onetime，longtimeago。Dequeenshelef’
　　herbabylayin’aroun’oneday，enwentoutcallin’;anone’odeniggersroun’boutdeplacedatwas’mos’white，shecomeinenseedechilelayin’aroun’，entuckenputherownchile’sclo’sondequeen’schile，enputdequeen’schile’sclo’esonherownchile，endenlef’herownchilelayin’aroun’，entuckentoteddequeen’schilehometodeniggerquarter，ennobodyeverfoun’itout，enherchilewasdekingbimeby，ensoledequeen’schiledownderiveronetimewhendeyhadtosettleupdeestate。Dah，now——depreachersaidithisownself，enitain’tnosin，’ca’sewhitefolksdoneit。
　　DEYdoneit——yes，DEYdoneit;ennoton’yjis’commonwhitefolksnuther，butdebiggestqualitydeyisindewholebilin’。_Oh_，I’s_so_gladI
　　’member’boutdat！"
　　Shegotlightheartedandhappy，andwenttothecradles，andspentwhatwasleftofthenight"practicing。"Shewouldgiveherownchildalightpatandsayhumbly，"Laystill，MarseTom，"thengivetherealTomapatandsaywithseverity，"Lay_still_，Chambers！Doesyouwantmetotakesomep’n_to_you？"
　　Assheprogressedwithherpractice，shewassurprisedtoseehowsteadilyandsurelytheawewhichhadkepthertonguereverentandhermannerhumbletowardheryoungmasterwastransferringitselftoherspeechandmannertowardtheusurper，andhowsimilarlyhandyshewasbecomingintransferringhermotherlycurtnessofspeechandperemptorinessofmannertotheunluckyheiroftheancienthouseofDriscoll。
　　Shetookoccasionalrestsfrompracticing，andabsorbedherselfincalculatingherchances。
　　"Dey’llselldeseniggerstodayfo’stealin’demoney，dendey’llbuysomemo’datdon’tnowdechillen——so_dat’s_allright。WhenItakesdechillenouttogitdeair，deminuteI’sroun’decornerI’sgwinetogaumdeymouthsallroun’widjam，dendeycan’t_nobody_noticedey’schanged。Yes，IgwineterdodattillI’ssafe，ifit’sayear。
　　"Deyain’tbutonemandatI’safeardof，endat’sdatPudd’nheadWilson。
　　Deycallshimapudd’nhead，ensayshe’safool。Mylan，datmanain’tnomo’fooldenIis！He’sdesmartes’manindistown，lessn’it’sJedgeDriscollormaybePemHoward。Blamedatman，heworriesmewiddemorneryglasseso’his’n;_I_b’lievehe’sawitch。
　　Butnemmine，I’sgwinetohappenaroun’dahoneo’desedaysenletondatIreckonhewantstoprintachillen’sfingersag’in;enifHE
　　don’tnoticedey’schanged，Ibounddeyain’tnobodygwinetonoticeit，endenI’ssafe，sho’。ButIreckonI’lltotealongahoss—shoetokeepoffdewitchwork。"
　　ThenewNegrosgaveRoxynotrouble，ofcourse。Themastergavehernone，foroneofhisspeculationswasinjeopardy，andhismindwassooccupiedthathehardlysawthechildrenwhenhelookedatthem，andallRoxyhadtodowastogetthembothintoagaleoflaughterwhenhecameabout;thentheirfacesweremainlycavitiesexposinggums，andhewasgoneagainbeforethespasmpassedandthelittlecreaturesresumedahumanaspect。
　　WithinafewdaysthefateofthespeculationbecamesodubiousthatMr。Percywentawaywithhisbrother，thejudge，toseewhatcouldbedonewithit。Itwasalandspeculationasusual，andithadgottencomplicatedwithalawsuit。Themenweregonesevenweeks。Beforetheygotback，RoxyhadpaidhervisittoWilson，andwassatisfied。
　　Wilsontookthefingerprints，labeledthemwiththenamesandwiththedate——
　　Octoberthefirst——putthemcarefullyaway，andcontinuedhischatwithRoxy，whoseemedveryanxiousthatheshouldadmirethegreatadvanceinfleshandbeautywhichthebabeshadmadesincehetooktheirfingerprintsamonthbefore。Hecomplimentedtheirimprovementtohercontentment;andastheywerewithoutanydisguiseofjamorotherstain，shetrembledallthewhileandwasmiserablyfrightenedlestatanymomenthe——
　　Buthedidn’t。Hediscoverednothing;andshewenthomejubilant，anddroppedallconcernaboutthematterpermanentlyoutofhermind。
　　CHAPTER4
　　TheWaysoftheChangelingsAdamandEvehadmanyadvantages，buttheprincipalonewas，thattheyescapedteething。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarThereisthistroubleaboutspecialprovidences——namely，thereissooftenadoubtastowhichpartywasintendedtobethebeneficiary。
　　Inthecaseofthechildren，thebears，andtheprophet，thebearsgotmorerealsatisfactionoutoftheepisodethantheprophetdid，becausetheygotthechildren。
　　——Pudd’nheadWilson’sCalendarThishistorymusthenceforthaccommodateitselftothechangewhichRoxanahasconsummated，andcalltherealheir"Chambers"andtheusurpinglittleslave，"Thomas`aBecket"——shorteningthislatternameto"Tom，"fordailyuse，asthepeopleabouthimdid。
　　"Tom"wasabadbaby，fromtheverybeginningofhisusurpation。
　　Hewouldcryfornothing;hewouldburstintostormsofdevilishtemperwithoutnotice，andletgoscreamafterscreamandsquallaftersquall，thenclimaxthethingwith"holdinghisbreath"——
　　thatfrightfulspecialtyoftheteethingnursling，inthethroesofwhichthecreatureexhaustsitslungs，thenisconvulsedwithnoiselesssquirmingsandtwistingsandkickingsintheefforttogetitsbreath，whilethelipsturnblueandthemouthstandswideandrigid，offeringforinspectiononeweetoothsetinthelowerrimofahoopofredgums;andwhentheappallingstillnesshasendureduntiloneissurethelostbreathwillneverreturn，anursecomesflying，anddasheswaterinthechild’sface，and——presto！thelungsfill，andinstantlydischargeashriek，orayell，orahowlwhichburststhelisteningearandsurprisestheownerofitintosayingwordswhichwouldnotgowellwithahaloifhehadone。ThebabyTomwouldclawanybodywhocamewithinreachofhisnails，andpoundanybodyhecouldreachwithhisrattle。Hewouldscreamforwateruntilhegotit，andthenthrowcupandallonthefloorandscreamformore。
　　Hewasindulgedinallhiscaprices，howsoevertroublesomeandexasperatingtheymightbe;hewasallowedtoeatanythinghewanted，particularlythingsthatwouldgivehimthestomach—ache。
　　Whenhegottobeoldenoughtobegintotoddleaboutandsaybrokenwordsandgetanideaofwhathishandswerefor，hewasamoreconsummatepestthanever。Roxygotnorestwhilehewasawake。
　　Hewouldcallforanythingandeverythinghesaw，simplysaying，"Awntit！"（wantit），whichwasacommand。Whenitwasbrought，hesaidinafrenzy，andmotioningitawaywithhishands，"Don’tawntit！don’tawntit！"andthemomentitwasgonehesetupfranticyellsof"Awntit！awntit！"andRoxyhadtogivewingstoherheelstogetthatthingbacktohimagainbeforehecouldgettimetocarryouthisintentionofgoingintoconvulsionsaboutit。
　　Whathepreferredaboveallotherthingswasthetongs。
　　Thiswasbecausehis"father"hadforbiddenhimtohavethemlesthebreakwindowsandfurniturewiththem。ThemomentRoxy’sbackwasturnedhewouldtoddletothepresenceofthetongsandsay，"Likeit！"andcockhiseyetoonesideorseeifRoxywasobserved;
　　then，"Awntit！"andcockhiseyeagain;then，"Habit！"withanotherfurtiveglace;andfinally，"Takeit！"——andtheprizewashis。
　　Thenextmomenttheheavyimplementwasraisedaloft;thenext，therewasacrashandasquall，andthecatwasoffonthreelegstomeetanengagement;Roxywouldarrivejustasthelamporawindowwenttoirremediablesmash。
　　Tomgotallthepetting，Chambersgotnone。Tomgotallthedelicacies，Chambersgotmushandmilk，andclabberwithoutsugar。InconsequenceTomwasasicklychildandChamberswasn’t。Tomwas"fractious，"asRoxycalledit，andoverbearing;Chamberswasmeekanddocile。
　　Withallhersplendidcommonsenseandpracticaleverydayability，Roxywasadotingfoolofamother。Shewasthistowardherchild——
　　andshewasalsomorethanthis：bythefictioncreatedbyherself，hewasbecomehermaster;thenecessityofrecognizingthisrelationoutwardlyandofperfectingherselfintheformsrequiredtoexpresstherecognition，hadmovedhertosuchdiligenceandfaithfulnessinpracticingtheseformsthatthisexercisesoonconcreteditselfintohabit;
　　itbecameautomaticandunconscious;thenanaturalresultfollowed：
　　deceptionsintendedsolelyforothersgraduallygrewpracticallyintoself—deceptionsaswell;themockreverencebecamerealreverence，themockhomagerealhomage;thelittlecounterfeitriftofseparationbetweenimitation—slaveandimitation—masterwidenedandwidened，andbecameanabyss，andaveryrealone——andononesideofitstoodRoxy，thedupeofherowndeceptions，andontheotherstoodherchild，nolongerausurpertoher，butheracceptedandrecognizedmaster。Hewasherdarling，hermaster，andherdeityallinone，andinherworshipofhimsheforgotwhoshewasandwhathehadbeen。
　　InbabyhoodTomcuffedandbangedandscratchedChambersunrebuked，andChambersearlylearnedthatbetweenmeeklybearingitandresentingit，theadvantagealllaywiththeformerpolicy。
　　Thefewtimesthathispersecutionshadmovedhimbeyondcontrolandmadehimfightbackhadcosthimverydearatheadquarters;
　　notatthehandsofRoxy，forifsheeverwentbeyondscoldinghimsharplyfor"forgett’n’whohisyoungmarsterwas，"sheatleastneverextendedherpunishmentbeyondaboxontheear。
　　No，PercyDriscollwastheperson。HetoldChambersthatundernoprovocationwhateverwasheprivilegedtolifthishandagainsthislittlemaster。Chambersoversteppedthelinethreetimes，andgotthreesuchconvincingcaningsfromthemanwhowashisfatheranddidn’tknowit，thathetookTom’scrueltiesinallhumilityafterthat，andmadenomoreexperiments。
　　Outsidethehousethetwoboysweretogetherallthroughtheirboyhood。Chamberswasstrongbeyondhisyears，andagoodfighter;
　　strongbecausehewascoarselyfedandhardworkedaboutthehouse，andagoodfighterbecauseTomfurnishedhimplentyofpractice——
　　onwhiteboyswhomhehatedandwasafraidof。Chamberswashisconstantbodyguard，toandfromschool;hewaspresentontheplaygroundatrecesstoprotecthischarge。Hefoughthimselfintosuchaformidablereputation，byandby，thatTomcouldhavechangedclotheswithhim，and"riddeninpeace，"likeSirKayinLauncelot’sarmor。
　　Hewasgoodatgamesofskill，too。Tomstakedhimwithmarblestoplay"keeps"with，andthentookallthewinningsawayfromhim。
　　InthewinterseasonChamberswasonhand，inTom’sworn—outclothes，with"holy"redmittens，and"holy"shoes，andpants"holy"atthekneesandseat，todragasledupthehillforTom，warmlyclad，toridedownon;buthenevergotaridehimself。HebuiltsnowmenandsnowfortificationsunderTom’sdirections。HewasTom’spatienttargetwhenTomwantedtodosomesnowballing，butthetargetcouldn’tfireback。ChamberscarriedTom’sskatestotheriverandstrappedthemonhim，thetrottedaroundafterhimontheice，soastobeonhandwhenhewanted;buthewasn’teveraskedtotrytheskateshimself。
　　InsummerthepetpastimeoftheboysofDawson’sLandingwastostealapples，peaches，andmelonsfromthefarmer’sfruitwagons——
　　mainlyonaccountoftherisktheyranofgettingtheirheadslaidopenwiththebuttofthefarmer’swhip。Tomwasadistinguishedadeptatthesethefts——byproxy。Chambersdidhisstealing，andgotthepeachstones，applecores，andmelonrindsforhisshare。
　　TomalwaysmadeChambersgoinswimmingwithhim，andstaybyhimasaprotection。WhenTomhadhadenough，hewouldslipoutandtieknotsinChamber’sshirt，diptheknotsinthewaterandmakethemhardtoundo，thendresshimselfandsitbyandlaughwhilethenakedshiverertuggedatthestubbornknotswithhisteeth。
　　Tomdidhishumblecomradethesevariousillturnspartlyoutofnativeviciousness，andpartlybecausehehatedhimforhissuperioritiesofphysiqueandpluck，andforhismanifoldcleverness。
　　Tomcouldn’tdive，foritgavehimsplittingheadaches。
　　Chamberscoulddivewithoutinconvenience，andwasfondofdoingit。
　　Heexcitedsomuchadmiration，oneday，amongacrowdofwhiteboys，bythrowingbacksomersaultsfromthesternofacanoe，thatitweariesTom’sspirit，andatlastheshovedthecanoeunderneathChamberswhilehewasintheair——sohecamedownonhisheadinthecanoebottom;
　　andwhilehelayunconscious，severalofTom’sancientadversariessawthattheirlong—desiredopportunitywascome，andtheygavethefalseheirsuchadrubbingthatwithChamber’sbesthelphewashardlyabletodraghimselfhomeafterward。
　　Whentheboyswasfifteenandupward，Tomwas"showingoff"intheriveroneday，whenhewastakenwithacramp，andshoutedforhelp。
　　Itwasacommontrickwiththeboys——particularlyifastrangerwaspresent——topretendacrampandhowlforhelp;thenwhenthestrangercametearinghandoverhandtotherescue，thehowlerwouldgoonstrugglingandhowlingtillhewascloseathand，thenreplacethehowlwithasarcasticsmileandswimblandlyaway，whilethetownboysassailedthedupewithavolleyofjeersandlaughter。
　　Tomhadnevertriedthisjokeasyet，butwassupposedtobetryingitnow，sotheboysheldwarilyback;butChambersbelievedhismasterwasinearnest;therefore，heswamout，andarrivedintime，unfortunately，andsavedhislife。
　　Thiswasthelastfeather。Tomhadmanagedtoendureeverythingelse，buttohavetoremainpubliclyandpermanentlyundersuchanobligationasthistoanigger，andtothisniggerofallniggers——thiswastoomuch。
　　HeheapedinsultsuponChambersfor"pretending"tothinkhewasinearnestincallingforhelp，andsaidthatanybodybutablockheadedniggerwouldhaveknownhewasfunningandlefthimalone。
　　Tom’senemieswereinstrongforcehere，sotheycameoutwiththeiropinionsquitefreely。Thelaughedathim，andcalledhimcoward，liar，sneak，andothersortsofpetnames，andtoldhimtheymeanttocallChambersbyanewnameafterthis，andmakeitcommoninthetown——"TomDriscoll’sniggerpappy，"——tosignifythathehadhadasecondbirthintothislife，andthatChamberswastheauthorofhisnewbeing。Tomgrewfranticunderthesetaunts，andshouted：
　　"Knocktheirheadsoff，Chambers！Knocktheirheadsoff！
　　Whatdoyoustandtherewithyourhandsinyourpocketsfor？"
　　Chambersexpostulated，andsaid，"But，MarseTom，dey’stoomanyof’em——dey’s——"
　　"Doyouhearme？"
　　"Please，MarseTom，don’tmakeme！Dey’ssomanyof’emdat——"
　　Tomsprangathimanddrovehispocketknifeintohimtwoorthreetimesbeforetheboyscouldsnatchhimawayandgivethewoundedladachancetoescape。Hewasconsiderablyhurt，butnotseriously。
　　Ifthebladehadbeenalittlelonger，hiscareerwouldhaveendedthere。
　　TomhadlongagotaughtRoxy"herplace。"Ithadbeenmanyadaynowsinceshehadventuredacaressorafondlingepithetinhisquarter。
　　Suchthings，froma"nigger，"wererepulsivetohim，andshehadbeenwarnedtokeepherdistanceandrememberwhoshewas。Shesawherdarlinggraduallyceasefrombeingherson，shesawTHATdetailperishutterly;allthatwasleftwasmaster——master，pureandsimple，anditwasnotagentlemastership，either。Shesawherselfsinkfromthesublimeheightofmotherhoodtothesomberdepthsofunmodifiedslavery，theabyssofseparationbetweenherandherboywascomplete。
　　Shewasmerelyhischattelnow，hisconvenience，hisdog，hiscringingandhelplessslave，thehumbleandunresistingvictimofhiscapricioustemperandviciousnature。
　　Sometimesshecouldnotgotosleep，evenwhenwornoutwithfatigue，becauseherrageboiledsohighovertheday’sexperienceswithherboy。
　　Shewouldmumbleandmuttertoherself：
　　"HestruckmeenIwarn’tnowaytoblame——struckmeindeface，rightbeforefolks。Enhe’sal’ayscallin’meniggerwench，enhussy，enalldemmeannames，whenI’sdoin’deverybes’Ikin。
　　Oh，Lord，Idonesomuchforhim——Ilif’himawayuptowhatheis——
　　endisiswhatIgitforit。"
　　Sometimeswhensomeoutrageofpeculiaroffensivenessstunghertotheheart，shewouldplanschemesofvengeanceandrevelinthefanciedspectacleofhisexposuretotheworldasanimposterandaslave;
　　butinthemidstofthesejoysfearwouldstrikeher;shehadmadehimtoostrong;shecouldprovenothing，and——heavens，shemightgetsolddowntheriverforherpains！Soherschemesalwayswentfornothing，andshelaidthemasideinimpotentrageagainstthefates，andagainstherselfforplayingthefoolonthatfatalSeptemberdayinnotprovidingherselfwithawitnessforuseinthedaywhensuchathingmightbeneededfortheappeasingofhervengeance—hungryheart。
　　AndyetthemomentTomhappenedtobegoodtoher，andkind——
　　andthisoccurredeverynowandthen——allhersoreplaceswerehealed，andshewashappy;happyandproud，forthiswasherson，herniggerson，lordingitamongthewhitesandsecurelyavengingtheircrimesagainstherrace。
　　ThereweretwograndfuneralsinDawson’sLandingthatfall——thefallof1845。OnewasthatofColonelCecilBurleighEssex，theotherthatofPercyDriscoll。
　　OnhisdeathbedDriscollsetRoxyfreeanddeliveredhisidolizedostensiblesonsolemnlyintothekeepingofhisbrother，thejudge，andhiswife。Thosechildlesspeopleweregladtogethim。
　　Childlesspeoplearenotdifficulttoplease。
　　JudgeDriscollhadgoneprivatelytohisbrother，amonthbefore，andboughtChambers。HehadheardthatTomhadbeentryingtogethisfathertoselltheboydowntheriver，andhewantedtopreventthescandal——forpublicsentimentdidnotapproveofthatwayoftreatingfamilyservantsforlightcauseorfornocause。
　　PercyDriscollhadwornhimselfoutintryingtosavehisgreatspeculativelandedestate，andhaddiedwithoutsucceeding。
　　Hewashardlyinhisgravebeforetheboomcollapsedandlefthisenviedyoungdevilofanheirapauper。Butthatwasnothing;hisuncletoldhimheshouldbehisheirandhaveallhisfortunewhenhedied;
　　soTomwascomforted。
　　Roxyhadnohomenow;sosheresolvedtogoaroundandsaygood—bytoherfriendsandthenclearoutandseetheworld——thatistosay，shewouldgochambermaidingonasteamboat，thedarlingambitionofherraceandsex。
　　Herlastcallwasontheblackgiant，Jasper。ShefoundhimchoppingPudd’nheadWilson’swinterprovisionofwood。