CHAPTERXXII
　　WhathappenedtoJulianinthepersonofatailor。
　　"Fortunenowstationedmeinacharacterwhichtheingratitudeofmankindhathputthemonridiculing，thoughtheyowetoitnotonlyarelieffromtheinclemenciesofcold，towhichtheywouldotherwisebeexposed，butlikewiseaconsiderablesatisfactionoftheirvanity。ThecharacterImeanwasthatofatailor;which，ifweconsideritwithdueattention，mustbeconfessedtohaveinitgreatdignityandimportance。For，inreality，whoconstitutesthedifferentdegreesbetweenmenbutthetailor？theprinceindeedgivesthetitle，butitisthetailorwhomakestheman。Tohislaborsareowingtherespectofcrowds，andtheawewhichgreatmeninspireintotheirbeholders，thoughthesearetoooftenunjustlyattributedtoothermotives。Lastly，theadmirationofthefairismostcommonlytobeplacedtohisaccount。
　　"IwasjustsetupinmytradewhenImadethreesuitsoffineclothesforkingStephen’scoronation。Iquestionwhetherthepersonwhowearstherichcoathathsomuchpleasureandvanityinbeingadmiredinit，aswetailorshavefromthatadmiration;
　　andperhapsaphilosopherwouldsayheisnotsowellentitledtoit。Ibustledonthedayoftheceremonythroughthecrowd，anditwaswithincredibledelightIheardseveralsay，asmyclotheswalkedby，’Blessme，waseveranythingsofineastheearlofDevonshire？SureheandSirHughBigotarethetwobestdressedmenIeversaw。’Nowboththosesuitswereofmymaking。
　　"Therewouldindeedbeinfinitepleasureinworkingforthecourtiers，astheyaregenerallygenteelmen，andshowone’sclothestothebestadvantage，wasitnotforonesmalldiscouragement;thisis，thattheyneverpay。Isolemnlyprotest，thoughIlostalmostasmuchbythecourtinmylifeasIgotbythecity，InevercarriedasuitintothelatterwithhalfthesatisfactionwhichIhavedonetotheformer;thoughfromthatIwascertainofreadymoney，andfromthisalmostascertainofnomoneyatall。
　　"Courtiersmay，however，bedividedintotwosorts，veryessentiallydifferentfromeachother;intothosewhoneverintendtopayfortheirclothes;andthosewhodointendtopayforthem，butneverhappentobeable。Ofthelattersortaremanyofthoseyounggentlemenwhomweequipoutforthearmy，andwhoare，unhappilyforus，cutoffbeforetheyarriveatpreferment。Thisisthereasonthattailors，intimeofwar，aremistakenforpoliticiansbytheirinquisitivenessintotheeventofbattles，onecampaignveryoftenprovingtheruinofhalf—a—dozenofus。IamsureIhadfrequentreasontocursethatfatalbattleofCardigan，wheretheWelshdefeatedsomeofkingStephen’sbesttroops，andwheremanyagoodsuitofmineunpaidfor，felltotheground。
　　"ThegentlemenofthishonorablecallinghavefaredmuchbetterinlateragesthanwhenIwasofit;fornowitseemsthefashionis，whentheyapprehendtheircustomerisnotinthebestcircumstances，iftheyarenotpaidassoonastheycarryhomethesuit，theychargehimintheirbookasmuchagainasitisworth，andthensendagentlemanwithasmallscripofparchmenttodemandthemoney。Ifthisbenotimmediatelypaidthegentlemantakesthebeauwithhimtohishouse，wherehelockshimuptillthetailoriscontented：butinmytimethesescripsofparchmentwerenotinuse;andifthebeaudislikedpayingforhisclothes，asveryoftenhappened，wehadnomethodofcompellinghim。
　　"InseveralofthecharacterswhichIhaverelatedtoyou，I
　　apprehendIhavesometimesforgotmyself，andconsideredmyselfasreallyinterestedasIwaswhenIpersonatedthemonearth。I
　　havejustnowcaughtmyselfinthefact;forIhavecomplainedtoyouasbitterlyofmycustomersasIformerlyusedtodowhenI
　　wasthetailor：butinreality，thoughthereweresomefewpersonsofverygreatquality，andsomeothers，whoneverpaidtheirdebts，yetthosewerebutafew，andIhadamethodofrepairingthisloss。MycustomersIdividedunderthreeheads：
　　thosewhopaidreadymoney，thosewhopaidslow，andthosewhoneverpaidatall。ThefirstoftheseIconsideredapartbythemselves，aspersonsbywhomIgotacertainbutsmallprofit。
　　ThetwolastIlumpedtogether，makingthosewhopaidslowcontributetorepairmylossesbythosewhodidnotpayatall。
　　Thus，uponthewhole，Iwasaveryinconsiderableloser，andmighthaveleftafortunetomyfamily，hadInotlaunchedforthintoexpenseswhichswallowedupallmygains。Ihadawifeandtwochildren。TheseindeedIkeptfrugallyenough，forIhalfstarvedthem;butIkeptamistressinafinerway，forwhomI
　　hadacountry—house，pleasantlysituatedontheThames，elegantlyfittedupandneatlyfurnished。Thiswomanmightveryproperlybecalledmymistress，forshewasmostabsolutelyso;andthoughhertenurewasnohigherthanbymywill，shedomineeredastyrannicallyasifmychainshadbeenrivetedinthestrongestmanner。ToallthisIsubmitted，notthroughanyadorationofherbeauty，whichwasindeedbutindifferent。Hercharmsconsistedinlittlewantonnesses，whichsheknewadmirablywelltouseinhoursofdalliance，andwhich，Ibelieve，areofallthingsthemostdelightfultoalover。
　　"Shewassoprofuselyextravagant，thatitseemedasifshehadanactualintenttoruinme。ThisIamsureof，ifsuchhadbeenherrealintention，shecouldhavetakennopropererwaytoaccomplishit;nay，Imyselfmightappeartohavehadthesameview：for，besidesthisextravagantmistressandmycountry—house，Ikeptlikewiseabraceofhunters，ratherforthatitwasfashionablesotodothanforanygreatdelightI
　　tookinthesport，whichIverylittleattended;notforwantofleisure，forfewnoblemenhadsomuch。AlltheworkIeverdidwastakingmeasure，andthatonlyofmygreatestandbestcustomers。Iscareevercutapieceofclothinmylife，norwasindeedmuchmoreabletofashionacoatthananygentlemaninthekingdom。Thismadeaskillfulservanttoonecessarytome。HeknewImustsubmittoanytermswith，oranytreatmentfrom，him。
　　Heknewitwaseasierforhimtofindanothersuchatailorasmethanformetoprocuresuchanotherworkmanashim：forthisreasonheexertedthemostnotoriousandcrueltyranny，seldomgivingmeacivilword;norcouldtheutmostcondescensiononmyside，thoughattendedwithcontinualpresentsandrewards，andraisinghiswages，contentorpleasehim。Inaword，hewasasabsolutelymymasteraswaseveranambitious，industriousprimeministeroveranindolentandvoluptuousking。Allmyotherjourneymenpaidmorerespecttohimthantome;fortheyconsideredmyfavorasanecessaryconsequenceofobtaininghis。
　　"ThesewerethemostremarkableoccurrenceswhileIactedthispart。Minoshesitatedafewmoments，andthenbidmegetbackagain，withoutassigninganyreason。"
　　CHAPTERXXIII
　　ThelifeofaldermanJulian。
　　"InowrevisitedEngland，andwasbornatLondon。Myfatherwasoneofthemagistratesofthatcity。Hehadelevenchildren，ofwhomIwastheeldest。Hehadgreatsuccessintrade，andgrewextremelyrich，butthelargenessofhisfamilyrendereditimpossibleforhimtoleavemeafortunesufficienttolivewellonindependentofbusiness。Iwasaccordinglybroughtuptobeafishmonger，inwhichcapacityImyselfafterwardsacquiredveryconsiderablewealth。
　　"Thesamedispositionofmindwhichinprincesiscalledambitionisinsubjectsnamedfaction。TothistemperIwasgreatlyaddictedfrommyyouth。Iwas，whileaboy，agreatpartisanofprinceJohn’sagainsthisbrotherRichard，duringthelatter’sabsenceintheholywarandinhiscaptivity。Iwasnomorethanone—and—twentywhenIfirstbegantomakepoliticalspeechesinpublic，andtoendeavortofomentdisquietudeanddiscontentinthecity。AsIwasprettywellqualifiedforthisoffice，byagreatfluencyofwords，anharmoniousaccent，agracefuldelivery，andaboveallaninvincibleassurance，Ihadsoonacquiredsomereputationamongtheyoungercitizens，andsomeoftheweakerandmoreinconsiderateofariperage。This，co—operatingwithmyownnaturalvanity，mademeextravagantlyproudandsupercilious。Isoonbegantoesteemmyselfamanofsomeconsequence，andtooverlookpersonseverywaymysuperiors。
　　"ThefamousRobinHood，andhiscompanionLittleJohn，atthistimemadeaconsiderablefigureinYorkshire。Itookuponmetowritealettertotheformer，inthenameofthecity，invitinghimtocometoLondon，whereIassuredhimofverygoodreception，signifyingtohimmyowngreatweightandconsequence，andhowmuchIhaddisposedthecitizensinhisfavor。WhetherhereceivedthisletterornoIamnotcertain;buthenevergavemeanyanswertoit。
　　"AlittleafterwardsoneWilliamFitz—Osborn，or，ashewasnicknamed，WilliamLong—Beard，begantomakeafigureinthecity。Hewasaboldandanimpudentfellow，andhadraisedhimselftogreatpopularitywiththerabble，bypretendingtoespousetheircauseagainsttherich。Itookthisman’spart，andmadeapublicorationinhisfavor，settinghimforthasapatriot，andonewhohadembarkedinthecauseofliberty：forwhichservicehedidnotreceivemewiththeacknowledgmentsI
　　expected。However，asIthoughtIshouldeasilygaintheascendantoverthisfellow，Icontinuedstillfirmonhisside，tillthearchbishopofCanterbury，withanarmedforce，putanendtohisprogress：forhewasseizedinBowchurch，wherehehadtakenrefuge，andwithnineofhisaccompliceshangedinchains。
　　"Iescapednarrowlymyself;forIwasseizedinthesamechurchwiththerest，and，asIhadbeenveryconsiderablyengagedintheenterprise，thearchbishopwasinclinedtomakemeanexample;butmyfather’smerit，whohadadvancedaconsiderablesumtoqueenEleanortowardstheking’sransom，preservedme。
　　"Theconsternationmydangerhadoccasionedkeptmesometimequiet，andIappliedmyselfveryassiduouslytomytrade。I
　　inventedallmannerofmethodstoenhancethepriceoffish，andmadeuseofmyutmostendeavorstoengrossasmuchofthebusinessaspossibleinmyownhands。BythesemeansIacquiredasubstancewhichraisedmetosomelittleconsequenceinthecity，butfarfromelevatingmetothatdegreewhichIhadformerlyflatteredmyselfwithpossessingatatimewhenIwastotallyinsignificant;for，inatradingsociety，moneymustatleastlaythefoundationofallpowerandinterest。
　　"ButasithathbeenremarkedthatthesameambitionwhichsentAlexanderintoAsiabringsthewrestleronthegreen;andasthissameambitionisasincapableasquicksilveroflyingstill;soI，whowaspossessedperhapsofashareequaltowhathathfiredthebloodofanyoftheheroesofantiquity，wasnolessrestlessanddiscontentedwitheaseandquiet。Myfirstendeavorsweretomakemyselfheadofmycompany，whichRichardIhadjustpublished，andsoonafterwardsIprocuredmyselftobechosenalderman。
　　"OppositionistheonlystatewhichcangiveasubjectanopportunityofexertingthedispositionIwaspossessedof。
　　Accordingly，kingJohnwasnosoonerseatedonhisthronethanI
　　begantoopposehismeasures，whetherrightorwrong。Itistruethatmonarchhadfaultsenow。Hewassoabandonedtolustandluxury，thatheaddictedhimselftothemostextravagantexcessesinboth，whileheindolentlysufferedthekingofFrancetorobhimofalmostallhisforeigndominions：myoppositionthereforewasjustifiableenough，andifmymotivefromwithinhadbeenasgoodastheoccasionfromwithoutIshouldhavehadlittletoexcuse;but，intruth，Isoughtnothingbutmyownpreferment，bymakingmyselfformidabletotheking，andthensellingtohimtheinterestofthatpartybywhosemeansIhadbecomeso。Indeed，hadthepublicgoodbeenmycare，howeverzealouslyImighthaveopposedthebeginningofhisreign，IshouldnothavescrupledtolendhimmyutmostassistanceinthisstrugglebetweenhimandpopeInnocentthethird，inwhichhewassomanifestlyintheright;norhavesufferedtheinsolenceofthatpope，andthepowerofthekingofFrance，tohavecompelledhimintheissue，baselytoresignhiscrownintothehandsoftheformer，andreceiveitagainasavassal;bymeansofwhichacknowledgmentthepopeafterwardsclaimedthiskingdomasatributaryfieftobeheldofthepapalchair;aclaimwhichoccasionedgreatuneasinesstomanysubsequentprinces，andbroughtnumberlesscalamitiesonthenation。
　　"Asthekinghad，amongotherconcessions，stipulatedtopayanimmediatesumofmoneytoPandulph，whichhehadgreatdifficultytoraise，itwasabsolutelynecessaryforhimtoapplytothecity，wheremyinterestandpopularityweresohighthathehadnohopeswithoutmyassistance。AsIknewthis，Itookcaretosellmyselfandcountryashighaspossible。ThetermsI
　　demanded，therefore，wereaplace，apension，andaknighthood。
　　Allthosewereimmediatelyconsentedto。Iwasforthwithknighted，andpromisedtheothertwo。
　　"Inowmountedthehustings，and，withoutanyregardtodecencyormodesty，madeasemphaticalaspeechinfavorofthekingasbeforeIhaddoneagainsthim。InthisspeechIjustifiedallthosemeasureswhichIhadbeforecondemned，andpleadedasearnestlywithmyfellow—citizenstoopentheirpurses，asIhadformerlydonetoprevailwiththemtokeepthemshut。But，alas！
　　myrhetorichadnottheeffectIproposed。Theconsequenceofmyargumentswasonlycontempttomyself。Thepeopleatfirststaredononeanother，andafterwardsbeganunanimouslytoexpresstheirdislike。Animpudentfellowamongthem，reflectingonmytrade，criedout，’Stinkingfish;’whichwasimmediatelyreiteratedthroughthewholecrowd。Iwasthenforcedtoslinkawayhome;butIwasnotabletoaccomplishmyretreatwithoutbeingattendedbythemob，whohuzza’dmealongthestreetwiththerepeatedcriesof’Stinkingfish。’
　　"Inowproceededtocourt，toinformhismajestyofmyfaithfulservice，andhowmuchIhadsufferedinhiscause。Ifoundbymyfirstreceptionhehadalreadyheardofmysuccess。Insteadofthankingmeformyspeech，hesaidthecityshouldrepentoftheirobstinacy，forthathewouldshowthemwhohewas：andsosaying，heimmediatelyturnedthatparttometowhichthetoeofmanhathsowonderfulanaffection，thatitisverydifficult，wheneveritpresentsitselfconveniently，tokeepourtoesfromthemostviolentandardentsalutationofit。
　　"Iwasalittlenettledatthisbehavior，andwithsomeearnestnessclaimedtheking’sfulfillinghispromise;butheretiredwithoutansweringme。Ithenappliedtosomeofthecourtiers，whohadlatelyprofessedgreatfriendshiptome，hadeatatmyhouse，andinvitedmetotheirs：butnotonewouldreturnmeanyanswer，allrunningawayfrommeasifIhadbeenseizedwithsomecontagiousdistemper。Inowfoundbyexperience，thatasnonecanbesocivil，sononecanberuderthanacourtier。
　　"Afewmomentsaftertheking’sretiringIwasleftaloneintheroomtoconsiderwhatIshoulddoorwhitherIshouldturnmyself。MyreceptioninthecitypromiseditselftobeequalatleastwithwhatIfoundatcourt。However，therewasmyhome，andthitheritwasnecessaryIshouldretreatforthepresent。
　　"But，indeed，badasIapprehendedmytreatmentinthecitywouldbe，itexceededmyexpectation。Irodehomeonanamblingpadthroughcrowdswhoexpressedeverykindofdisregardandcontempt;peltingmenotonlywiththemostabusivelanguage，butwithdirt。However，withmuchdifficultyIarrivedatlastatmyownhouse，withmyboneswhole，butcoveredoverwithfilth。
　　"WhenIwasgotwithinmydoors，andhadshutthemagainstthemob，whohadprettywellventedtheirspleen，andseemednowcontentedtoretire，mywife，whomIfoundcryingoverherchildren，andfromwhomIhadhopedsomecomfortinmyafflictions，felluponmeinthemostoutrageousmanner。SheaskedmewhyIwouldventureonsuchastep，withoutconsultingher;shesaidheradvicemighthavebeencivillyasked，ifIwasresolvednottohavebeenguidedbyit。That，whateveropinionI
　　mighthaveconceivedofherunderstanding，therestoftheworldthoughtbetterofit。ThatIhadneverfailedwhenIhadaskedhercounsel，noreversucceededwithoutit;——withmuchmoreofthesamekind，tootedioustomention;concludingthatitwasamonstrousbehaviortodesertmypartyandcomeovertothecourt。
　　AnabusewhichItookworsethanalltherest，asshehadbeenconstantlyforseveralyearsassiduousinrailingattheopposition，insidingwiththecourt—party，andbeggingmetocomeovertoit;andespeciallyaftermymentioningtheofferofknighthoodtoher，sincewhichtimeshehadcontinuallyinterruptedmyreposewithdinninginmyearsthefollyofrefusinghonorsandofadheringtoapartyandtoprinciplesbywhichIwascertainofprocuringnoadvantagetomyselfandmyfamily。
　　"Ihadnowentirelylostmytrade，sothatIhadnottheleasttemptationtostaylongerinacitywhereIwascertainofreceivingdailyaffrontsandrebukes。Ithereforemadeupmyaffairswiththeutmostexpedition，and，scrapingtogetherallI
　　could，retiredintothecountry，whereIspenttheremainderofmydaysinuniversalcontempt，beingshunnedbyeverybody，perpetuallyabusedbymywife，andnotmuchrespectedbymychildren。
　　"Minostoldme，thoughIhadbeenaveryvilefellow，hethoughtmysufferingsmadesomeatonement，andsobidmetaketheothertrial。"
　　CHAPTERXXIV
　　Julianrecountswhathappenedtohimwhilehewasapoet。
　　"Romewasnowtheseatofmynativity，whereIwasbornofafamilymoreremarkableforhonorthanriches。Iwasintendedforthechurch，andhadaprettygoodeducation;butmyfatherdyingwhileIwasyoung，andleavingmenothing，forhehadwastedhiswholepatrimony，Iwasforcedtoentermyselfintheorderofmendicants。
　　"WhenIwasatschoolIhadaknackofrhyming，whichIunhappilymistookforgenius，andindulgedtomycost;formyversesdrewonmeonlyridicule，andIwasincontemptcalledthepoet。
　　"Thishumorpursuedmethroughmylife。MyfirstcompositionafterIleftschoolwasapanegyriconpopeAlexanderIV，whothenpretendedaprojectofdethroningthekingofSicily。OnthissubjectIcomposedapoemofaboutfifteenthousandlines，whichwithmuchdifficultyIgottobepresentedtohisholiness，ofwhomIexpectedgreatprefermentasmyreward;butIwascruellydisappointed：forwhenIhadwaitedayear，withouthearinganyofthecommendationsIhadflatteredmyselfwithreceiving，andbeingnowabletocontainnolonger，IappliedtoaJesuitwhowasmyrelation，andhadthepope’sear，toknowwhathisholiness’sopinionwasofmywork：hecoldlyansweredmethathewasatthattimebusiedinconcernsoftoomuchimportancetoattendthereadingofpoems。
　　"HoweverdissatisfiedImightbe，andreallywas，withthisreception，andhoweverangryIwaswiththepope？forwhoseunderstandingIentertainedanimmoderatecontempt，Iwasnotyetdiscouragedfromasecondattempt。Accordingly，Isoonafterproducedanotherwork，entitled，TheTrojanHorse。Thiswasanallegoricalwork，inwhichthechurchwasintroducedintotheworldinthesamemannerasthatmachinehadbeenintoTroy。Thepriestswerethesoldiersinitsbelly，andtheheathensuperstitionthecitytobedestroyedbythem。ThispoemwaswritteninLatin。Iremembersomeofthelines：——
　　Mundanosscanditfatalismachinamuros，Fartasacerdotumturmis：exindeperalvumVisiexireomnes，maguocummurmureolentes。
　　NonaliterquamcumllumanisfuribundusabantrisItsonusetnaressimulaurainvadithiantes。
　　Millescatentetmillealii;trepidaretimoreEthnicagenscoepit：falsiperinanevolantesEffugereDei——Desertaquetemplarelinquunt。
　　Jammagnumcrepitavitequus，moxorbisetaltiIngemuerepoli：tunctupater，ultimusomniumMaximeAlexander，ventremmaturusequinumDeseris，heuprolesmelioridigneparente。"
　　IbelieveJulian，hadInotstoppedhim，wouldhavegonethroughthewholepoem（for，asIobservedinmostofthecharactersherelated，theaffectionshehadenjoyedwhilehepersonatedthemonearthstillmadesomeimpressiononhim）;butIbeggedhimtoomitthesequelofthepoem，andproceedwithhishistory。Hethenrecollectedhimself，and，smilingattheobservationwhichbyintuitionheperceivedIhadmade，continuedhisnarrationasfollows：——
　　"Iconfesstoyou，"sayshe，"thatthedelightinrepeatingourownworksissopredominantinapoet，thatIfindnothingcantotallyrootitoutofthesoul。Happywoulditbeforthosepersonsiftheirhearerscouldbedelightedinthesamemanner：
　　butalas！hencethatingenssolitudocomplainedofbyHorace：
　　forthevanityofmankindissomuchgreedierandmoregeneralthantheiravarice，thatnobeggarissoillreceivedbythemashewhosolicitstheirpraise。
　　"ThisIsufficientlyexperiencedinthecharacterofapoet;formycompanywasshunned（Ibelieveonthisaccountchiefly）bymywholehouse：nay，therewerefewwhowouldsubmittohearingmereadmypoetry，evenatthepriceofsharinginmyprovisions。
　　Theonlypersonwhogavemeaudiencewasabrotherpoet;heindeedfedmewithcommendationveryliberally：but，asIwasforcedtohearandcommendinmyturn，Iperhapsboughthisattentiondearenough。
　　"Well，sir，ifmyexpectationsoftherewardIhopedfrommyfirstpoemhadbalkedme，Ihadnowstillgreaterreasontocomplain;for，insteadofbeingpreferredorcommendedforthesecond，Iwasenjoinedaveryseverepenancebymysuperior，forludicrouslycomparingthepopetoaf——t。Mypoetrywasnowthejestofeverycompany，exceptsomefewwhospokeofitwithdetestation;andIfoundthat，insteadofrecommendingmetopreferment，ithadeffectuallybarredmefromallprobabilityofattainingit。
　　"Thesediscouragementshadnowinducedmetolaydownmypenandwritenomore。But，asJuvenalsays，——Sidiscedas，LaqueotenetambitiosiConsuetudomali。
　　Iwasanexampleofthetruthofthisassertion，forIsoonbetookmyselfagaintomymuse。Indeed，apoethaththesamehappinesswithamanwhoisdotinglyfondofanuglywoman。Theoneenjoyshismuse，andtheotherhismistress，withapleasureverylittleabatedbytheesteemoftheworld，andonlyundervaluestheirtastefornotcorrespondingwithhisown。
　　"Itisunnecessarytomentionanymoreofmypoems;theyhadallthesamefate;andthoughinrealitysomeofmylatterpiecesdeserved（Imaynowspeakitwithouttheimputationofvanity）abettersuccess，asIhadthecharacterofabadwriter，Ifounditimpossibleevertoobtainthereputationofagoodone。HadI
　　possessedthemeritofHomerIcouldhavehopedfornoapplause;
　　sinceitmusthavebeenaprofoundsecret;fornoonewouldnowreadasyllableofmywritings。
　　"Thepoetsofmyagewere，asIbelieveyouknow，notveryfamous。However，therewasoneofsomecreditatthattime，thoughIhavetheconsolationtoknowhisworksareallperishedlongago。Themalice，envy，andhatredIborethismanareinconceivabletoanybutanauthor，andanunsuccessfulone;I
　　nevercouldbeartohearhimwellspokenof，andwritanonymoussatiresagainsthim，thoughIhadreceivedobligationsfromhim;
　　indeedIbelieveitwouldhavebeenanabsoluteimpossibilityforhimatanyratetohavemademesincerelyhisfriend。
　　"Ihaveheardanobservationwhichwasmadebysomeoneoflaterdays，thattherearenoworsementhanbadauthors。Aremarkofthesamekindhathbeenmadeonuglywomen，andthetruthofbothstandsononeandthesamereason，viz。，thattheyarebothtaintedwiththatcursedanddetestableviceofenvy;which，asitisthegreatesttormenttotheminditinhabits，soisitcapableofintroducingintoitatotalcorruption，andofinspiringittothecommissionofthemosthorridcrimesimaginable。
　　"Mylifewasbutshort;forIsoonpinedmyselftodeathwiththeviceIjustnowmentioned。MinostoldmeIwasinfinitelytoobadforElysium;andasfortheotherplace，thedevilhadswornhewouldneverentertainapoetforOrpheus’ssake：soIwasforcedtoreturnagaintotheplacefromwhenceIcame。"
　　CHAPTERXXV
　　Julianperformsthepartsofaknightandadancing—master。
　　"InowmountedthestageinSicily，andbecameaknight—templar;
　　but，asmyadventuresdiffersolittlefromthoseIhaverecountedyouinthecharacterofacommonsoldier，Ishallnottireyouwithrepetition。Thesoldierandthecaptaindifferinrealitysolittlefromoneanother，thatitrequiresanaccuratejudgmenttodistinguishthem;thelatterwearsfinerclothes，andintimesofsuccesslivessomewhatmoredelicately;butastoeverythingelse，theyverynearlyresembleoneanother。
　　"MynextstepwasintoFrance，wherefortuneassignedmethepartofadancing—master。IwassoexpertinmyprofessionthatIwasbroughttocourtinmyyouth，andhadtheheelsofPhilipdeValois，whoafterwardssucceededCharlestheFair，committedtomydirection。
　　"IdonotrememberthatinanyofthecharactersinwhichI
　　appearedonearthIeverassumedtomyselfagreaterdignity，orthoughtmyselfofmorerealimportance，thannow。Ilookedondancingasthegreatestexcellenceofhumannature，andonmyselfasthegreatestproficientinit。And，indeed，thisseemedtobethegeneralopinionofthewholecourt;forIwasthechiefinstructoroftheyouthofbothsexes，whosemeritwasalmostentirelydefinedbytheadvancestheymadeinthatsciencewhichIhadthehonortoprofess。Astomyself，Iwassofullypersuadedofthistruth，thatInotonlyslightedanddespisedthosewhowereignorantofdancing，butIthoughtthehighestcharacterIcouldgiveanymanwasthathemadeagracefulbow：
　　forwantofwhichaccomplishmentIhadasovereigncontemptformostpersonsoflearning;nay，forsomeofficersinthearmy，andafewevenofthecourtiersthemselves。
　　"ThoughsolittleofmyyouthhadbeenthrownawayinwhattheycallliteraturethatIcouldhardlywriteandread，yetI
　　composedatreatiseoneducation;thefirstrudimentsofwhich，asItaught，weretoinstructachildinthescienceofcominghandsomelyintoaroom。InthisIcorrectedmanyfaultsofmypredecessors，particularlythatofbeingtoomuchinahurry，andinstitutingachildinthesublimerpartsofdancingbeforetheyarecapableofmakingtheirhonors。
　　"ButasIhavenotnowthesamehighopinionofmyprofessionwhichIhadthen，Ishallnotentertainyouwithalonghistoryofalifewhichconsistedofboreesandcoupees。LetitsufficethatIlivedtoaveryoldageandfollowedmybusinessaslongasIcouldcrawl。AtlengthIrevisitedmyoldfriendMinos，whotreatedmewithverylittlerespectandbademedancebackagaintoearth。
　　"Ididso，andwasnowoncemorebornanEnglishman，breduptothechurch，andatlengtharrivedtothestationofabishop。
　　"Nothingwassoremarkableinthischaracterasmyalwaysvoting——[10]。"
　　[10]Herepartofthemanuscriptislost，andthataveryconsiderableone，asappearsbythenumberofthenextbookandchapter，whichcontains，Ifind，thehistoryofAnnaBoleyn;
　　butastothemannerinwhichitwasintroduced，ortowhomthenarrativeistold，wearetotallyleftinthedark。Ihaveonlytoremark，thatthischapteris，intheoriginal，writinawoman’shand：and，thoughtheobservationsinitare，Ithink，asexcellentasanyinthewholevolume，thereseemstobeadifferenceinstylebetweenthisandtheprecedingchapters;
　　and，asitisthecharacterofawomanwhichisrelated，Iaminclinedtofancyitwasreallywrittenbyoneofthatsex。
　　BOOKXIX
　　CHAPTERVII
　　WhereinAnnaBoleynrelatesthehistoryofherlife。
　　"Iamgoingnowtrulytorecountalifewhichfromthetimeofitsceasinghasbeen，intheotherworld，thecontinualsubjectofthecavilsofcontendingparties;theonemakingmeasblackashell，theotheraspureandinnocentastheinhabitantsofthisblessedplace;themistofprejudiceblindingtheireyes，andzealforwhattheythemselvesprofess，makingeverythingappearinthatlightwhichtheythinkmostconducestoitshonor。
　　"Myinfancywasspentinmyfather’shouse，inthosechildishplayswhicharemostsuitabletothatstate，andIthinkthiswasoneofthehappiestpartsofmylife;formyparentswerenotamongthenumberofthosewholookupontheirchildrenassomanyobjectsofatyrannicpower，butIwasregardedasthedearpledgeofavirtuouslove，andallmylittlepleasureswerethoughtfromtheirindulgencetheirgreatestdelight。AtsevenyearsoldIwascarriedintoFrancewiththeking’ssister，whowasmarriedtotheFrenchking，whereIlivedwithapersonofquality，whowasanacquaintanceofmyfather’s。Ispentmytimeinlearningthosethingsnecessarytogiveyoungpersonsoffashionapoliteeducation，anddidneithergoodnorevil，butdaypassedafterdayinthesameeasywaytillIwasfourteen;
　　thenbeganmyanxiety，myvanitygrewstrong，andmyheartflutteredwithjoyateverycomplimentpaidtomybeauty：andastheladywithwhomIlivedwasofagay，cheerfuldisposition，shekeptagreatdealofcompany，andmyyouthandcharmsmademethecontinualobjectoftheiradmiration。Ipassedsomelittletimeinthoseexultingraptureswhicharefeltbyeverywomanperfectlysatisfiedwithherselfandwiththebehaviorofotherstowardsher：Iwas，whenveryyoung，promotedtobemaidofhonortohermajesty。Thecourtwasfrequentedbyayoungnoblemanwhosebeautywasthechiefsubjectofconversationinallassembliesofladies。Thedelicacyofhisperson，addedtoagreatsoftnessinhismanner，gaveeverythinghesaidanddidsuchanairoftenderness，thateverywomanhespoketoflatteredherselfwithbeingtheobjectofhislove。Iwasoneofthosewhowasvainenoughofmyowncharmstohopetomakeaconquestofhimwhomthewholecourtsighedfor。Inowthoughteveryotherobjectbelowmynotice;yettheonlypleasureIproposedtomyselfinthisdesignwas，thetriumphingoverthatheartwhichI
　　plainlysawalltheladiesofthehighestqualityandthegreatestbeautywouldhavebeenproudofpossessing。Iwasyettooyoungtobeveryartful;butnature，withoutanyassistance，soondiscoverstoamanwhoisusedtogallantryawoman’sdesiretobelikedbyhim，whetherthatdesirearisesfromanyparticularchoiceshemakesofhim，oronlyfromvanity。Hesoonperceivedmythoughts，andgratifiedmyutmostwishesbyconstantlypreferringmebeforeallotherwomen，andexertinghisutmostgallantryandaddresstoengagemyaffections。Thissuddenhappiness，whichIthenthoughtthegreatestIcouldhavehad，appearedvisibleinallmyactions;Igrewsogayandsofullofvivacitythatitmademypersonappearstilltoabetteradvantage，allmyacquaintancepretendingtobefonderofmethanever：though，youngasIwas，Iplainlysawitwasbutpretense，forthroughalltheirendeavorstothecontraryenvywouldoftenbreakforthinslyinsinuationsandmalicioussneers，whichgavemefreshmatteroftriumph，andfrequentopportunitiesofinsultingthem，whichIneverletslip，fornowfirstmyfemaleheartgrewsensibleofthespitefulpleasureofseeinganotherlanguishforwhatIenjoyed。WhilstIwasintheheightofmyhappinesshermajestyfellillofalanguishingdistemper，whichobligedhertogointothecountryforthechangeofair：myplacemadeitnecessaryformetoattendher，andwhichwayhebroughtitaboutIcan’timagine，butmyyoungherofoundmeanstobeoneofthatsmalltrainthatwaitedonmyroyalmistress，althoughshewentasprivatelyaspossible。HithertoalltheinterviewsIhadeverhadwithhimwereinpublic，andIonlylookedonhimasthefitterobjecttofeedthatpridewhichhadnootherviewbuttoshowitspower;butnowthescenewasquitechanged。Myrivals，wereallatadistance：theplacewewenttowasascharmingasthemostagreeablenaturalsituation，assistedbythegreatestart，couldmakeit;thepleasantsolitarywalksthesingingofbirds，thethousandprettyromanticscenesthisdelightfulplaceafforded，gaveasuddenturntomymind;mywholesoulwasmeltedintosoftness，andallmyvanitywasfled。Mysparkwastoomuchusedtoaffairsofthisnaturenottoperceivethischange;atfirsttheprofusetransportsofhisjoymademebelievehimwhollymine，andthisbeliefgavemesuchhappinessthatnolanguageaffordswordstoexpressit，andcanbeonlyknowntothosewhohavefeltit。Butthiswasofaveryshortduration，forIsoonfoundIhadtodowithoneofthosemenwhoseonlyendinthepursuitofawomanistomakeherfallavictimtoaninsatiabledesiretobeadmired。Hisdesignshadsucceeded，andnowheeverydaygrewcolder，and，asifbyinfatuation，mypassioneverydayincreased;and，notwithstandingallmyresolutionsandendeavorstothecontrary，myrageatthedisappointmentatoncebothofmyloveandpride，andatthefindingapassionfixedinmybreastIknewnothowtoconquer，brokeoutintothatinconsistentbehaviorwhichmustalwaysbetheconsequenceofviolentpassions。OnemomentIreproachedhim，thenextIgrewtotendernessandblamedmyself，andthoughtIfanciedwhatwasnottrue：hesawmystruggleandtriumphedinit;but，ashehadnotwitnessesenoughthereofhisvictorytogivehimthefullenjoymentofit，hegrewwearyofthecountryandreturnedtoParis，andleftmeinaconditionitisutterlyimpossibletodescribe。Mymindwaslikeacityupinarms，allconfusion;andeverynewthoughtwasafreshdisturberofmypeace。Sleepquiteforsookme，andtheanxietyIsufferedthrewmeintoafeverwhichhadliketohavecostmemylife。WithgreatcareIrecovered，buttheviolenceofthedistemperleftsuchaweaknessonmybodythatthedisturbanceofmymindwasgreatlyassuaged;andnowIbegantocomfortmyselfinthereflectionthatthisgentleman’sbeingafinishedcoquettewasverylikelytheonlythingcouldhavepreservedme;forhewastheonlymanfromwhomIwaseverinanydanger。BythattimeI
　　wasgottolerablywellwereturnedtoParis;andIconfessIbothwishedandfearedtoseethiscauseofallmypain：however，I
　　hoped，bythehelpofmyresentment，tobeabletomeethimwithindifference。Thisemployedmythoughtstillourarrival。Thenextdaytherewasaveryfullcourttocongratulatethequeenonherrecovery;andamongsttherestmyloveappeareddressedandadornedasifhedesignedsomenewconquest。Insteadofseeingawomanhedespisedandslighted，heapproachedmewiththatassuredairwhichiscommontosuccessfulcoxcombs。AtthesametimeIperceivedIwassurroundedbyallthoseladieswhowereonhisaccountmygreatestenemies，and，inrevenge，wishedfornothingmorethantoseememakearidiculousfigure。Thissituationsoperplexedmythoughts，thatwhenhecamenearenoughtospeaktome，Ifaintedawayinhisarms。HadIstudiedwhichwayIcouldgratifyhimmost，itwasimpossibletohavedoneanythingtohavepleasedhimmore。Somethatstoodbybroughtsmelling—bottles，andusedmeansformyrecovery;andIwaswelcomedtoreturninglifebyallthosereparteeswhichwomenenragedbyenvyarecapableofventing。Onecried’Well，Ineverthoughtmylordhadanythingsofrightfulinhispersonorsofierceinhismannerastostrikeayoungladydeadatthesightofhim。’’No，no，’saysanother，’someladies’sensesaremoreapttobehurriedbyagreeablethandisagreeableobjects。’Withmanymoresuchsortofspeecheswhichshowedmoremalicethanwit。Thisnotbeingabletobear，trembling，andwithbutjuststrengthenoughtomove，Icrawledtomycoachandhurriedhome。
　　WhenIwasalone，andthoughtonwhathadhappenedtomeinapubliccourt，Iwasatfirstdriventotheutmostdespair;butafterwards，whenIcametoreflect，Ibelievethisaccidentcontributedmoretomybeingcuredofmypassionthananyothercouldhavedone。Ibegantothinktheonlymethodtopiquethemanwhohadusedmesobarbarously，andtoberevengedonmyspitefulrivals，wastorecoverthatbeautywhichwasthenlanguidandhadlostitsluster，toletthemseeIhadstillcharmsenoughtoengageasmanyloversasIcoulddesire，andthatIcouldyetrivalthemwhohadthuscruellyinsultedme。
　　Thesepleasinghopesrevivedmysinkingspirits。andworkedamoreeffectualcureonmethanallthephilosophyandadviceofthewisestmencouldhavedone。Inowemployedallmytimeandcareinadorningmyperson，andstudyingthesurestmeansofengagingtheaffectionsofothers，whileImyselfcontinuedquiteindifferent;forIresolvedforthefuture，ifeveronesoftthoughtmadeitswaytomyheart，toflytheobjectofit，andbynewloverstodrivetheimagefrommybreast。Iconsultedmyglasseverymorning，andgotsuchacommandofmycountenancethatIcouldsuitittothedifferenttastesofvarietyoflovers;andthoughIwasyoung，forIwasnotyetaboveseventeen，yetmypublicwayoflifegavemesuchcontinualopportunitiesofconversingwithmen，andthestrongdesireInowhadofpleasingthemledmetomakesuchconstantobservationsoneverythingtheysaidordid，thatIsoonfoundoutthedifferentmethodsofdealingwiththem。Iobservedthatmostmengenerallylikedinwomenwhatwasmostoppositetotheirowncharacters;
　　thereforetothegravesolidmanofsenseIendeavoredtoappearsprightlyandfullofspirit;tothewittyandgay，softandlanguishing;totheamorous（fortheywantnoincreaseoftheirpassions），coldandreserved;tothefearfulandbackward，warmandfulloffire;andsoofalltherest。Astobeaux，andallofthosesortofmen，whosedesiresarecenteredinthesatisfactionoftheirvanity，Ihadlearnedbysadexperiencetheonlywaytodealwiththemwastolaughatthemandlettheirowngoodopinionofthemselvesbetheonlysupportoftheirhopes。I
　　knew，whileIcouldgetotherfollowers，Iwassureofthem;fortheonlysignofmodestytheyevergiveisthatofnotdependingontheirownjudgments，butfollowingtheopinionsofthegreatestnumber。Thusfurnishedwithmaxims，andgrownwisebypasterrors，Iinamannerbegantheworldagain：Iappearedinallpublicplaceshandsomerandmorelivelythanever，totheamazementofeveryonewhosawmeandhadheardoftheaffairbetweenmeandmylord。Hehimselfwasmuchsurprisedandvexedatthissuddenchange，norcouldheaccounthowitwaspossibleformesosoontoshakeoffthosechainshethoughthehadfixedonmeforlife;norwashewillingtolosehisconquestinthismanner。Heendeavoredbyallmeanspossibletotalktomeagainoflove，butIstoodfixedtomyresolution（inwhichIwasgreatlyassistedbythecrowdofadmirersthatdailysurroundedme）nevertolethimexplainhimself：for，notwithstandingallmypride，Ifoundthefirstimpressiontheheartreceivesofloveissostrongthatitrequiresthemostvigilantcaretopreventarelapse。NowIlivedthreeyearsinaconstantroundofdiversions，andwasmadetheperfectidolofallthementhatcametocourtofallagesandallcharacters。Ihadseveralgoodmatchesofferedme，butIthoughtnoneofthemequaltomymerit;
　　andoneofmygreatestpleasureswastoseethosewomenwhohadpretendedtorivalmeoftengladtomarrythosewhomIhadrefused。Yet，notwithstandingthisgreatsuccessofmyschemes，IcannotsayIwasperfectlyhappy;foreverywomanthatwastakentheleastnoticeof，andeverymanthatwasinsensibletomyarts，gavemeasmuchpainasalltherestgavemepleasure;
　　andsometimeslittleunderhandplotswhichwerelaidagainstmydesignswouldsucceedinspiteofmycare：sothatIreallybegantogrowwearyofthismanneroflife，whenmyfather，returningfromhisembassyinFrance，tookmehomewithhim，andcarriedmetoalittlepleasantcountry—house，wheretherewasnothinggrandorsuperfluous，buteverythingneatandagreeable。
　　ThereIledalifeperfectlysolitary。Atfirstthetimehungveryheavyonmyhands，andIwantedallkindofemployment，andIhadveryliketohavefallenintotheheightofthevapors，fromnootherreasonbutfromwantofknowingwhattodowithmyself。ButwhenIhadlivedherealittletimeIfoundsuchacalmnessinmymind，andsuchadifferencebetweenthisandtherestlessanxietiesIhadexperiencedinacourt，thatIbegantosharethetranquillitythatvisiblyappearedineverythingroundme。Isetmyselftodoworksoffancy，andtoraiselittleflower—gardens，withmanysuchinnocentruralamusements;which，althoughtheyarenotcapableofaffordinganygreatpleasure，yettheygivethatsereneturntothemindwhichIthinkmuchpreferabletoanythingelsehumannatureismadesusceptibleof。
　　Inowresolvedtospendtherestofmydayshere，andthatnothingshouldalluremefromthatsweetretirement，tobeagaintossedaboutwithtempestuouspassionsofanykind。WhilstIwasinthissituation，mylordPercy，theearlofNorthumberland’seldestson，byanaccidentoflosinghiswayafterafox—chase，wasmetbymyfather，aboutamilefromourhouse;hecamehomewithhim，onlywithadesignofdiningwithus，butwassotakenwithmethathestayedthreedays。IhadtoomuchexperienceinallaffairsofthiskindnottoseepresentlytheinfluenceIhadonhim;butIwasatthattimesoentirelyfreefromallambition，thateventheprospectofbeingacountesshadnoeffectonme;andIthenthoughtnothingintheworldcouldhavebribedmetohavechangedmywayoflife。Thisyounglord，whowasjustinhisbloom，foundhispassionsostrong，hecouldnotendurealongabsence，butreturnedagaininaweek，andendeavored，byallthemeanshecouldthinkof，toengagemetoreturnhisaffection。Headdressedmewiththattendernessandrespectwhichwomenonearththinkcanflowfromnothingbutreallove;andveryoftentoldmethat，unlesshecouldbesohappyasbyhisassiduityandcaretomakehimselfagreeabletome，althoughheknewmyfatherwouldeagerlyembraceanyproposalfromhim，yethewouldsufferthatlastofmiseriesofneverseeingmemoreratherthanowehisownhappinesstoanythingthatmightbetheleastcontradictiontomyinclinations。Thismannerofproceedinghadsomethinginitsonobleandgenerous，thatbydegreesitraisedasensationinmewhichIknownothowtodescribe，norbywhatnametocallit：itwasnothinglikemyformerpassion：fortherewasnoturbulence，nouneasywakingnightsattendingit，butallIcouldwithhonorgranttoobligehimappearedtometobejustlyduetohistruthandlove，andmoretheeffectofgratitudethanofanydesireofmyown。ThecharacterIhadheardofhimfrommyfatheratmyfirstreturningtoEngland，indiscoursingoftheyoungnobility，convincedmethatifIwashiswifeIshouldhavetheperpetualsatisfactionofknowingeveryactionofhismustbeapprovedbyallthesensiblepartofmankind;sothatverysoonIbegantohavenoscrupleleftbutthatofleavingmylittlesceneofquietness，andventuringagainintotheworld。Butthis，byhiscontinualapplicationandsubmissivebehavior，bydegreesentirelyvanished，andIagreedheshouldtakehisowntimetobreakittomyfather，whoseconsenthewasnotlonginobtaining;forsuchamatchwasbynomeanstoberefused。ThereremainednothingnowtobedonebuttoprevailwiththeearlofNorthumberlandtocomplywithwhathissonsoardentlydesired;forwhichpurposehesetoutimmediatelyforLondon，andbeggeditasthegreatestfavorthatIwouldaccompanymyfather，whowasalsotogothithertheweekfollowing。Icouldnotrefusehisrequest，andassoonaswearrivedintownheflewtomewiththegreatestrapturestoinformmehisfatherwassogoodthat，findinghishappinessdependedonhisanswer，hehadgivenhimfreeleavetoactinthisaffairaswouldbestpleasehimself，andthathehadnownoobstacletopreventhiswishes。Itwasthenthebeginningofthewinter，andthetimeforourmarriagewasfixedforthelatterendofMarch：theconsentofallpartiesmadehisaccesstomeveryeasy，andweconversedtogetherbothwithinnocenceandpleasure。Ashisfondnesswassogreatthathecontrivedallthemethodspossibletokeepmecontinuallyinhissight，hetoldmeonemorninghewascommandedbyhisfathertoattendhimtocourtthatevening，andbeggedIwouldbesogoodastomeethimthere。IwasnowsousedtoactashewouldhavemethatImadenodifficultyofcomplyingwithhisdesire。Twodaysafterthis，Iwasverymuchsurprisedatperceivingsuchamelancholyinhiscountenance，andalterationinhisbehavior，asIcouldnowayaccountfor;but，byimportunity，atlastIgotfromhimthatcardinalWolsey，forwhatreasonheknewnot，hadperemptorilyforbidhimtothinkanymoreofme：and，whenheurgedthathisfatherwasnotdispleasedwithit，thecardinal，inhisimperiousmanner，answeredhim，heshouldgivehisfathersuchconvincingreasonswhyitwouldbeattendedwithgreatinconveniences，thathewassurehecouldbringhimtobeofhisopinion。Onwhichheturnedfromhim，andgavehimnoopportunityofreplying。I
　　couldnotimaginewhatdesignthecardinalcouldhaveinintermeddlinginthismatch，andIwasstillmoreperplexedtofindthatmyfathertreatedmylordPercywithmuchmorecoldnessthanusual;hetoosawit，andwebothwonderedwhatcouldpossiblybethecauseofallthis。Butitwasnotlongbeforethemysterywasallmadeclearbymyfather，who，sendingformeonedayintohischamber，letmeintoasecretwhichwasaslittlewishedforasexpected。Hebeganwiththesurprisingeffectsofyouthandbeauty，andthemadnessoflettinggothoseadvantagestheymightprocureustillitwastoolate，whenwemightwishinvaintobringthembackagain。Istoodamazedatthisbeginning;hesawmyconfusion，andbidmesitdownandattendtowhathewasgoingtotellme，whichwasofthegreatestconsequence;andhehopedIwouldbewiseenoughtotakehisadvice，andactasheshouldthinkbestformyfuturewelfare。
　　HethenaskedmeifIshouldnotbemuchpleasedtobeaqueen？
　　Ianswered，withthegreatestearnestness，that，sofarfromit，Iwouldnotliveinacourtagaintobethegreatestqueenintheworld;thatIhadaloverwhowasbothdesirousandabletoraisemystationevenbeyondmywishes。Ifoundthisdiscoursewasverydispleasing;myfatherfrowned，andcalledmearomanticfool，andsaidifIwouldhearkentohimhecouldmakemeaqueen;forthecardinalhadtoldhimthattheking，fromthetimehesawmeatcourttheothernight，likedme，andintendedtogetadivorcefromhiswife，andtoputmeinherplace;andorderedhimtofindsomemethodtomakemeamaidofhonortoherpresentmajesty，thatinthemeantimehemighthaveanopportunityofseeingme。Itisimpossibletoexpresstheastonishmentthesewordsthrewmeinto;and，notwithstandingthatthemomentbefore，whenitappearedatsogreatadistance，Iwasverysincereinmydeclarationhowmuchitwasagainstmywilltoberaisedsohigh，yetnowtheprospectcamenearer，Iconfessmyheartfluttered，andmyeyesweredazzledwithaviewofbeingseatedonathrone。
　　Myimaginationpresentedbeforemeallthepomp，powerandgreatnessthatattendacrown;andIwassoperplexedIknewnotwhattoanswer，butremainedassilentasifIhadlosttheuseofmyspeech。Myfather，whoguessedwhatitwasthatmademeinthiscondition，proceededtobringalltheargumentshethoughtmostlikelytobendmetohiswill;atlastIrecoveredfromthisdreamofgrandeur，andbeggedhim，byallthemostendearingnamesIcouldthinkof，nottourgemedishonorablytoforsakethemanwhoIwasconvincedwouldraisemetoanempireifinhispower，andwhohadenoughinhispowertogivemeallIdesired。
　　ButhewasdeaftoallIcouldsay，andinsistedthatbynextweekIshouldpreparemyselftogotocourt：hebidmeconsiderofit，andnotpreferaridiculousnotionofhonortotherealinterestofmywholefamily;but，aboveallthings，nottodisclosewhathehadtrustedmewith。Onwhichheleftmetomyownthoughts。WhenIwasaloneIreflectedhowlittlerealtendernessthisbehaviorshowedtome，whosehappinesshedidnotatallconsult，butonlylookedonmeasaladder，onwhichhecouldclimbtotheheightofhisownambitiousdesires：andwhenIthoughtonhisfondnessformeinmyinfancyIcouldimputeittonothingbuteitherthelikingmeasaplaythingorthegratificationofhisvanityinmybeauty。ButIwastoomuchdividedbetweenacrownandmyengagementtolordPercytospendmuchtimeinthinkingofanythingelse;and，althoughmyfatherhadpositivelyforbidme，yet，whenhecamenext，Icouldnothelpacquaintinghimwithallthathadpassed，withthereserveonlyofthestruggleinmyownmindonthefirstmentionofbeingaqueen。Iexpectedhewouldhavereceivedthenewswiththegreatestagonies;butheshowednovastemotion：however，hecouldnothelpturningpale，and，takingmebythehand，lookedatmewithanairoftenderness，andsaid，’Ifbeingaqueenwouldmakeyouhappy，anditisinyourpowertobeso，Iwouldnotfortheworldpreventit，letmesufferwhatIwill。’Thisamazinggreatnessofmindhadonmequitethecontraryeffectfromwhatitoughttohavehad;for，insteadofincreasingmyloveforhimitalmostputanendtoit，andIbegantothink，ifhecouldpartwithme，thematterwasnotmuch。AndIamconvinced，whenanymangivesupthepossessionofawomanwhoseconsenthehasonceobtained，lethismotivebeeversogenerous，hewilldisobligeher。Icouldnothelpshowingmydissatisfaction，andtoldhimIwasverygladthisaffairsatsoeasilyonhim。Hehadnotpowertoanswer，butwassosuddenlystruckwiththisunexpectedill—naturedturnIgavehisbehavior，thathestoodamazedforsometime，andthenbowedandleftme。
　　NowIwasagainlefttomyownreflections;buttomakeanythingintelligibleoutofthemisquiteimpossible：Iwishedtobeaqueen，andwishedImightnotbeone：IwouldhavemylordPercyhappywithoutme;andyetIwouldnothavethepowerofmycharmsbesoweakthathecouldbearthethoughtoflifeafterbeingdisappointedinmylove。Buttheresultofalltheseconfusedthoughtswasaresolutiontoobeymyfather。Iamafraidtherewasnotmuchdutyinthecase，thoughatthattimeIwasgladtotakeholdofthatsmallshadowtosavemefromlookingonmyownactionsinthetruelight。WhenmylovercameagainIlookedonhimwiththatcoldnessthathecouldnotbear，onpurposetoridmyselfofallimportunity：forsinceIhadresolvedtousehimillIregardedhimasthemonumentofmyshame，andhiseverylookappearedtometoupbraidme。Myfathersooncarriedmetocourt;thereIhadnoveryhardparttoact;for，withtheexperienceIhadhadofmankind，Icouldfindnogreatdifficultyinmanagingamanwholikedme，andforwhomInotonlydidnotcarebuthadanutteraversionto：butthisaversionhebelievedtobevirtue;forhowcredulousisamanwhohasaninclinationtobelieve！AndItookcaresometimestodropwordsofcottagesandlove，andhowhappythewomanwaswhofixedheraffectionsonamaninsuchastationoflifethatshemightshowherlovewithoutbeingsuspectedofhypocrisyormercenaryviews。Allthiswasswallowedveryeasilybytheamorousking，whopushedonthedivorcewiththeutmostimpetuosity，althoughtheaffairlastedagoodwhile，andIremainedmostpartofthetimebehindthecurtain。WheneverthekingmentionedittomeIusedsuchargumentsagainstitasIthoughtthemostlikelytomakehimthemoreeagerforit;beggingthat，unlesshisconsciencewasreallytouched，hewouldnotonmyaccountgiveanygrieftohisvirtuousqueen;forinbeingherhandmaidIthoughtmyselfhighlyhonored;andthatIwouldnotonlyforegoacrown，butevengiveupthepleasureofeverseeinghimmore，ratherthanwrongmyroyalmistress。Thiswayoftalking，joinedtohiseagerdesiretopossessmyperson，convincedthekingsostronglyofmyexaltedmerit，thathethoughtitameritoriousacttodisplacethewoman（whomhecouldnothavesogoodanopinionof，becausehewastiredofher），andtoputmeinherplace。Afteraboutayear’sstayatcourt，astheking’slovetomebegantobetalkedof，itwasthoughtpropertoremoveme，thattheremightbenoumbragegiventothequeen’sparty。Iwasforcedtocomplywiththis，thoughgreatlyagainstmywill;forIwasveryjealousthatabsencemightchangetheking’smind。Iretiredagainwithmyfathertohiscountry—seat，butithadnolongerthosecharmsformewhichIonceenjoyedthere;formymindwasnowtoomuchtakenupwithambitiontomakeroomforanyotherthoughts。Duringmystayhere，myroyalloveroftensentgentlementomewithmessagesandletters，whichIalwaysansweredinthemannerI
　　thoughtwouldbestbringaboutmydesigns，whichweretocomebackagaintocourt。Inallthelettersthatpassedbetweenustherewassomethingsokinglyandcommandinginhis，andsodeceitfulandsubmissiveinmine，thatIsometimescouldnothelpreflectingonthedifferencebetwixtthiscorrespondenceandthatwithlordPercy;yetIwassopressedforwardbythedesireofacrown，Icouldnotthinkofturningback。InallIwroteI
　　continuallypraisedhisresolutionoflettingmebeatadistancefromhim，sinceatthistimeitconducedindeedtomyhonor;but，whatwasoftentimesmoreweightwithme，Ithoughtitwasnecessaryforhis;andIwouldsoonersufferanythingintheworldthanbeanymeansofhurttohim，eitherinhisinterestorreputation。Ialwaysgavesomehintsofillhealth，withsomereflectionshownecessarythepeaceofthemindwastothatofthebody。BythesemeansIbroughthimtorecallmeagainbythemostabsolutecommand，whichI，foralittletime，artfullydelayed（forIknewtheimpatienceofhistemperwouldnotbearanycontradictions），tillhemademyfatherinamannerforcemetowhatImostwished，withtheutmostappearanceofreluctanceonmyside。WhenIhadgainedthispointIbegantothinkwhichwayIcouldseparatethekingfromthequeen，forhithertotheylivedinthesamehouse。TheladyMary，thequeen’sdaughter，beingthenaboutsixteen，IsoughtforemissariesofherownagethatIcouldconfidein，toinstillintoherminddisrespectfulthoughtsofherfather，andmakeajestofthetendernessofhisconscienceaboutthedivorce。Iknewshehadnaturallystrongpassions，andthatyoungpeopleofthatageareapttothinkthosethatpretendtobetheirfriendsarereallyso，andonlyspeaktheirmindsfreely。Iafterwardscontrivedtohaveeverywordshespokeofhimcarriedtotheking，whotookitallasI
　　couldwish，andfanciedthosethingsdidnotcomeatfirstfromtheyounglady，butfromhermother。Hewouldoftentalkofittome，andIagreedwithhiminhissentiments;butthen，asagreatproofofmygoodness，Ialwaysendeavoredtoexcuseher，bysayingaladysolongtimeusedtobearoyalqueenmightnaturallybealittleexasperatedwiththoseshefanciedwouldthrowherfromthatstationshesojustlydeserved。BythesesortofplotsIfoundthewaytomakethekingangrywiththequeen;fornothingiseasierthantomakeamanangrywithawomanhewantstoberidof，andwhostandsinthewaybetweenhimandhispleasure;sothatnowtheking，onthepretenseofthequeen’sobstinacyinapointwherehisconsciencewassotenderlyconcerned，partedwithher。Everythingwasnowplainbeforeme;Ihadnothingfarthertodobuttoletthekingalonetohisowndesires;andIhadnoreasontofear，sincetheyhadcarriedhimsofar，butthattheywouldurgehimontodoeverythingIaimedat。IwascreatedmarchionessofPembroke。
　　Thisdignitysatveryeasyonme;forthethoughtsofamuchhighertitletookfrommeallfeelingofthis;andIlookeduponbeingamarchionessasatrifle，notthatIsawthebaubleinitstruelight，butbecauseitfellshortofwhatIhadfiguredtomyselfIshouldsoonobtain。Theking’sdesiresgrewveryimpatient，anditwasnotlongbeforeIwasprivatelymarriedtohim。IwasnosoonerhiswifethanIfoundallthequeencomeuponme;Ifeltmyselfconsciousofroyalty，andeventhefacesofmymostintimateacquaintanceseemedtometobequitestrange。Ihardlyknewthem：heighthadturnedmyhead，andI
　　waslikeamanplacedonamonument，towhosesightallcreaturesatagreatdistancebelowhimappearlikesomanylittlepigmiescrawlingaboutontheearth;andtheprospectsogreatlydelightedme，thatIdidnotpresentlyconsiderthatinbothcasesdescendingafewstepserectedbyhumanhandswouldplaceusinthenumberofthoseverypigmieswhoappearedsodespicable。Ourmarriagewaskeptprivateforsometime，foritwasnotthoughtpropertomakeitpublic（theaffairofthedivorcenotbeingfinished）tillthebirthofmydaughterElizabethmadeitnecessary。Butallwhosawmeknewit;formymannerofspeakingandactingwassomuchchangedwithmystation，thatallaroundmeplainlyperceivedIwassureIwasaqueen。WhileitwasasecretIhadyetsomethingtowishfor;I
　　couldnotbeperfectlysatisfiedtillalltheworldwasacquaintedwithmyfortune：butwhenmycoronationwasover，andIwasraisedtotheheightofmyambition，insteadoffindingmyselfhappy，Iwasinrealitymoremiserablethanever;for，besidesthattheaversionIhadnaturallytothekingwasmuchmoredifficulttodissembleaftermarriagethanbefore，andgrewintoaperfectdetestation，myimagination，whichhadthuswarmlypursuedacrown，grewcoolwhenIwasinthepossessionofit，andgavemetimetoreflectwhatmightymatterIhadgainedbyallthisbustle;andIoftenusedtothinkmyselfinthecaseofthefox—hunter，who，whenhehastoiledandsweatedalldayinthechaseasifsomeunheard—ofblessingwastocrownhissuccess，findsatlastallhehasgotbyhislaborisastinkingnauseousanimal。Butmyconditionwasyetworsethanhis;forheleavestheloathsomewretchtobetornbyhishounds，whilstI
　　wasobligedtofondlemine，andmeanlypretendhimtobetheobjectofmylove。ForthewholetimeIwasinthisenvied，thisexaltedstate，Iledacontinuallifeofhypocrisy，whichInowknownothingonearthcancompensate。IhadnocompanionbutthemanIhated。Idarednotdisclosemysentimentstoanypersonaboutme，nordidanyonepresumetoenterintoanyfreedomofconversationwithme;butallwhospoketometalkedtothequeen，andnottome;fortheywouldhavesaidjustthesamethingstoadressed—uppuppet，ifthekinghadtakenafancytocallithiswife。AndasIkneweverywomaninthecourtwasmyenemy，fromthinkingshehadmuchmorerightthanIhadtotheplaceIfilled，IthoughtmyselfasunhappyasifIhadbeenplacedinawildwood，wheretherewasnohumancreatureformetospeakto，inacontinualfearofleavinganytracesofmyfootsteps，lestIshouldbefoundbysomedreadfulmonster，orstungbysnakesandadders;forsucharespitefulwomentotheobjectsoftheirenvy。InthisworstofallsituationsIwasobligedtohidemymelancholyandappearcheerful。Thisthrewmeintoanerrortheotherway，andIsometimesfellintoalevityinmybehaviorthatwasafterwardsmadeuseoftomydisadvantage。Ihadasondeadborn，whichIperceivedabatedsomethingoftheking’sardor;forhistempercouldnotbrooktheleastdisappointment。Thisgavemenouneasiness;for，notconsideringtheconsequences，IcouldnothelpbeingbestpleasedwhenIhadleastofhiscompany。AfterwardsIfoundhehadcasthiseyesononeofmymaidsofhonor;and，whetheritwasowingtoanyartofhers，oronlytotheking’sviolentpassions，Iwasintheendusedevenworsethanmyformermistresshadbeenbymymeans。Thedecayoftheking’saffectionwaspresentlyseenbyallthosecourt—sycophantswhocontinuallywatchthemotionsofroyaleyes;andthemomenttheyfoundtheycouldbeheardagainstmetheyturnedmymostinnocentactionsandwords，nay，evenmyverylooks，intoproofsoftheblackestcrimes。Theking，whowasimpatienttoenjoyhisnewlove，lentawillingeartoallmyaccusers，whofoundwaysofmakinghimjealousthatIwasfalsetohisbed。Hewouldnotsoeasilyhavebelievedanythingagainstmebefore，buthewasnowgladtoflatterhimselfthathehadfoundareasontodojustwhathehadresolveduponwithoutareason;andonsomeslightpretensesandhearsayevidenceIwassenttotheTower，wheretheladywhowasmygreatestenemywasappointedtowatchmeandlieinthesamechamberwithme。Thiswasreallyasbadapunishmentasmydeath，forsheinsultedmewiththosekeenreproachesandspitefulwitticisms，whichthrewmeintosuchvaporsandviolentfitsthatIknewnotwhatI
　　utteredinthiscondition。ShepretendedIhadconfessedtalkingridiculousstuffwithasetoflowfellowswhomIhadhardlyevertakennoticeof，ascouldhaveimposedonnonebutsuchaswereresolvedtobelieve。Iwasbroughttomytrial，and，toblackenmethemore，accusedofconversingcriminallywithmyownbrother，whomindeedIlovedextremelywell，butneverlookedonhiminanyotherlightthanasmyfriend。However，Iwascondemnedtobebeheaded，orburnt，asthekingpleased;andhewasgraciouslypleased，fromthegreatremainsofhislove，tochoosethemildestsentence。IwasmuchlessshockedatthismannerofendingmylifethanIshouldhavebeeninanyotherstation：butIhadhadsolittleenjoymentfromthetimeIhadbeenaqueen，thatdeathwasthelessdreadfultome。ThechiefthingsthatlayonmyconscienceweretheartsImadeuseoftoinducethekingtopartwiththequeen，myillusageofladyMary，andmyjiltinglordPercy。However，IendeavoredtocalmmymindaswellasIcould，andhopedthesecrimeswouldbeforgivenme;forinotherrespectsIhadledaveryinnocentlife，andalwaysdidallthegood—naturedactionsIfoundanyopportunityofdoing。FromthetimeIhaditinmypower，Igaveagreatdealofmoneyamongstthepoor;Iprayedverydevoutly，andwenttomyexecutionverycomposedly。ThusIlostmylifeattheageoftwenty—nine，inwhichshorttimeIbelieveIwentthroughmorevarietyofscenesthanmanypeoplewholivetobeveryold。Ihadlivedinacourt，whereIspentmytimeincoquetryandgayety;Ihadexperiencedwhatitwastohaveoneofthoseviolentpassionswhichmakesthemindallturbulenceandanxiety;IhadhadaloverwhomIesteemedandvalued，andatthelatterpartofmylifeIwasraisedtoastationashighasthevainestwomancouldwish。ButinallthesevariouschangesI
　　neverenjoyedanyrealsatisfaction，unlessinthelittletimeI
　　livedretiredinthecountryfreefromallnoiseandhurry，andwhileIwasconsciousIwastheobjectoftheloveandesteemofamanofsenseandhonor。"
　　OntheconclusionofthishistoryMinospausedforasmalltime，andthenorderedthegatetobethrownopenforAnnaBoleyn’sadmittanceontheconsiderationthatwhoeverhadsufferedbeingthequeenforfouryears，andbeensensibleduringallthattimeoftherealmiserywhichattendsthatexaltedstation，oughttobeforgivenwhatevershehaddonetoobtainit。[11]
　　[11]Hereendsthiscuriousmanuscript;therestbeingdestroyedinrollinguppens，tobacco，&c。Itistobehopedheedlesspeoplewillhenceforthbemorecautiouswhattheyburn，orusetoothervilepurposes;especiallywhentheyconsiderthefatewhichhadlikelytohavebefallenthedivineMilton，andthattheworksofHomerwereprobablydiscoveredinsomechandlersshopinGreece。