首页 >出版文学> Anecdotes of the late Samuel Johnson>第1章
  INTRODUCTION
  Mrs。Piozzi,byhersecondmarriage,wasbyherfirstmarriagetheMrs。
  ThraleinwhosehouseatStreathamDoctorJohnsonwas,aftertheyearofhisfirstintroduction,1765,indaysofinfirmity,anhonouredandacherishedfriend。TheyearofthebeginningofthefriendshipwastheyearinwhichJohnson,fifty—sixyearsold,obtainedhisdegreeofLL。D。fromDublin,and——thoughhenevercalledhimselfDoctor——wasthenceforthcalledDoctorbyallhisfriends。
  BeforehermarriageMrs。PiozzihadbeenMissHestherLynchSalusbury,ayoungladyofagoodWelshfamily。Shewasbornintheyear174O,andsheliveduntiltheyear1821。Shecelebratedhereightiethbirthdayonthe27thofJanuary,182O,byaconcert,ball,andsuppertosixorsevenhundredpeople,andledoffthedancingattheballwithanadoptedsonforpartner。WhenJohnsonwasfirstintroducedtoher,asMrs。Thrale,shewasalively,plumplittlelady,twenty—fiveyearsold,shortofstature,broadofbuild,withananimatedface,touched,accordingtothefashionoflifeinherearlyyears,withrouge,whichshecontinuedtousewhenshefoundthatithadspoilthercomplexion。Herhandswererathercoarse,butherhandwritingwasdelicate。
  HenryThrale,whomshemarried,wastheheadofthegreatbreweryhousenowknownasthatofBarclayandPerkins。HenryThrale’sfatherhadsucceededEdmundHalsey,whobeganlifebyrunningawayfromhisfather,amilleratSt。Albans。Halseywastakeninasaclerk—of—all—workattheAnchorBrewhouseinSouthwark,becameahouse—clerk,ableenoughtopleaseChild,hismaster,andhandsomeenoughtopleasehismaster’sdaughter。HemarriedthedaughterandsucceededtoChild’sBrewery,mademuchmoney,andhadhimselfanonlydaughter,whomhemarriedtoalord。HenryThrale’sfatherwasanephewofHalseys,whohadworkedinthebreweryfortwentyyears,when,afterHalsey’sdeath,hegavesecurityforthirtythousandpoundsasthepriceofthebusiness,towhichanoblelordcouldnotsucceed。Inelevenyearshehadpaidthepurchase—money,andwasmakingalargefortune。Tothisbusinesshisson,whowasJohnson’sfriend,HenryThrale,succeeded;anduponThrale’sdeathitwasboughtfor15O,OOOpoundsbyamemberoftheQuakerfamilyofBarclay,whotookThrale’soldmanager,Perkins,intopartnership。
  Johnsonbecame,after1765,familiarinthehouseoftheThralesatStreatham。Therewasmuchcompany。Mrs。Thralehadatasteforliteraryguestsandliteraryguestshad,ontheirpart,atasteforhergooddinners。Johnsonwasthelion—in—chief。TherewasDr。Johnson’sroomalwaysathisdisposal;andatidywigkeptforhisspecialuse,becausehisownwasapttobesingedupthemiddlebyclosecontactwiththecandle,whichheput,beingshort—sighted,betweenhiseyesandabook。
  Mrs。Thralehadskillinlanguages,readLatin,French,Italian,andSpanish。Shereadliterature,couldquoteaptly,andputknowledgeaswellasplayfullifeintoherconversation。Johnson’sregardfortheThraleswasveryreal,anditwasheartilyreturned,thoughMrs。Thralehad,likeherfriend,someweaknesses,incommonwithmostpeoplewhofeedlionsandwishtopassforwitsamongthewitty。
  AboutfourteenyearsafterJohnson’sfirstacquaintancewiththeThrales——
  whenJohnsonwasseventyyearsoldandMrs。Thralenearforty——thelittlelady,whohadalsolostseveralchildren,wasunhappyinthethoughtthatshehadceasedtobeappreciatedbyherhusband。Herhusband’stemperbecameaffectedbythecommercialtroublesof1762,andMrs。ThralebecamejealousoftheregardbetweenhimandSophyStreatfield,arichwidow’sdaughter。UnderJanuary,1779,shewroteinher"Thraliana,""Mr。Thralehasfalleninlove,reallyandseriously,withSophyStreatfield;butthereisnowonderinthat;sheisverypretty,verygentle,soft,andinsinuating;hangsabouthim,dancesroundhim,crieswhenshepartsfromhim,squeezeshishandslily,andwithhersweeteyesfulloftearslookssofondlyinhisface——andallforloveofme,asshepretends,thatIcanhardlysometimeshelplaughinginherface。AmanmustnotbeaMANbutanITtoresistsuchartillery。"Mrs。ThralegoesontorecordconquestsmadebythisirresistibleSophyinotherdirections,showingthesametemperofjealousy。Thralediedonthe4thofApril,1781。
  Mrs。Thralehadenteredinher"Thraliana"underJuly,178O,beingthenatBrighton,"IhavepickedupPiozzihere,thegreatItaliansinger。Heisamazinglylikemyfather。HeshallteachHesther。"Onthe25thofJuly,1784,beingatBath,herentrywas,"Iamreturnedfromchurchthehappywifeofmylovely,faithfulPiozzi……subjectofmyprayers,objectofmywishes,mysighs,myreverence,myesteem。"Heragethenwasforty—four,andonthe13thofDecemberinthesameyearJohnsondied。Thenewspapersofthedaydealthardlywithher。Theycalledheranamorouswidow,andPiozziafortune—hunter。Hereldestdaughter(afterwardsViscountessKeith)refusedtorecognisethenewfather,andshutherselfupinahouseatBrightonwithanurse,Tib,whereshelivedupontwohundredayear。Twoyoungersisters,whowereatschool,livedafterwardswiththeeldest。Onlythefourthdaughter,theyoungest,wentwithhermotherandhermother’snewhusbandtoItaly。Johnson,too,wasgrievedbythemarriage,andhadshownit,buthadwrittenafterwardsmostkindly。Mrs。
  PiozziinFlorencewasplayingatliteraturewiththepoetastersof"TheFlorenceMiscellany"and"TheBritishAlbum"whenshewasworkingatthese"AnecdotesoftheLateSamuelJohnson。"HerbookofanecdoteswasplannedatFlorencein1785,theyearafterherfriend’sdeath,finishedatFlorenceinOctober,1785,andpublishedintheyear1786。Thereisatouchofbitternessinthebookwhichshethoughtofsoftening,buther"lovely,faithfulPiozzi"wishedittoremain。
  H。M。
  AUTHOR’SPREFACE。
  Ihavesomewhereheardorreadthattheprefacebeforeabook,liketheporticobeforeahouse,shouldbecontrivedsoastocatch,butnotdetain,theattentionofthosewhodesireadmissiontothefamilywithin,orleavetolookoverthecollectionofpicturesmadebyonewhoseopportunitiesofobtainingthemweknowtohavebeennotunfrequent。IwishnottokeepmyreaderslongfromsuchintimacywiththemannersofDr。Johnson,orsuchknowledgeofhissentimentsasthesepagescanconvey。TourgemydistancefromEnglandasanexcuseforthebook’sbeingill—writtenwouldberidiculous;itmightindeedserveasajustreasonformyhavingwrittenitatall;because,thoughothersmayprintthesameaphorismsandstories,I
  cannotHEREbesurethattheyhavedoneso。AstheDukesays,however,totheWeaver,inAMidsummerNight’sDream,"Neverexcuse;ifyourplaybeabadone,keepatleasttheexcusestoyourself。"
  IamawarethatmanywillsayIhavenotspokenhighlyenoughofDr。
  Johnson;butitwillbedifficultforthosewhosaysotospeakmorehighly。IfIhavedescribedhismannersastheywere,Ihavebeencarefultoshowhissuperioritytothecommonformsofcommonlife。Itissurelynodispraisetoanoakthatitdoesnotbearjessamine;andhewhoshouldplanthoneysuckleroundTrajan’scolumnwouldnotbethoughttoadorn,buttodisgraceit。
  WhenIhavesaidthathewasmoreamanofgeniusthanoflearning,ImeannottotakefromtheonepartofhischaracterthatwhichIwillinglygivetotheother。TheeruditionofMr。Johnsonprovedhisgenius;forhehadnotacquireditbylongorprofoundstudy:norcanIthinkthosecharactersthegreatestwhichhavemostlearningdrivenintotheirheads,anymorethanIcanpersuademyselftoconsidertheRiverJeniscaassuperiortotheNile,becausethefirstreceivesnearseventytributarystreamsinthecourseofitsunmarkedprogresstothesea,whilethegreatparentofAfricanplenty,flowingfromanalmostinvisiblesource,andunenrichedbyanyextraneouswaters,exceptelevennamelessrivers,pourshismajestictorrentintotheoceanbysevencelebratedmouths。
  ButImustconcludemypreface,andbeginmybook,thefirstIeverpresentedbeforethepublic;fromwhoseawfulappearanceinsomemeasuretodefendandconcealmyself,IhavethoughtfittoretirebehindtheTelamonianshield,andshowaslittleofmyselfaspossible,wellawareoftheexceedingdifferencethereisbetweenfencingintheschoolandfightinginthefield。Studious,however,toavoidoffending,andcarelessofthatoffencewhichcanbetakenwithoutacause,Iherenotunwillinglysubmitmyslightperformancetothedecisionofthatgloriouscountry,whichIhavethedailydelighttohearapplaudedinothers,aseminentlyjust,generous,andhumane。
  ANECDOTESOFTHELATESAMUELJOHNSON,LL。D。
  Toomuchintelligenceisoftenaspernicioustobiographyastoolittle;
  themindremainsperplexedbycontradictionofprobabilities,andfindsdifficultyinseparatingreportfromtruth。IfJohnsonthenlamentedthatsolittlehadeverbeensaidaboutButler,Imightwithmorereasonbeledtocomplainthatsomuchhasbeensaidabouthimself;fornumberlessinformersbutdistractorcloudinformation,asglasseswhichmultiplywillforthemostpartbefoundalsotoobscure。Ofalife,too,whichforthelasttwentyyearswaspassedintheveryfrontofliterature,everyleaderofaliterarycompany,whetherofficerorsubaltern,naturallybecomeseitherauthororcritic,sothatlittlelessthantherecollectionthatitwasONCEtherequestofthedeceased,andTWICEthedesireofthosewhosewillIeverdelightedtocomplywith,shouldhaveengagedmetoaddmylittlebooktothenumberofthosealreadywrittenonthesubject。Iusedtourgeanotherreasonforforbearance,andsay,thatallthereaderswould,onthissingularoccasion,bethewritersofhislife:likethefirstrepresentationoftheMasqueofComus,which,bychangingtheircharactersfromspectatorstoperformers,wasACTEDbythelordsandladiesitwasWRITTENtoentertain。Thisobjectionis,however,nowatanend,asIhavefoundfriends,farremoteindeedfromliteraryquestions,whomayyetbedivertedfrommelancholybymydescriptionofJohnson’smanners,warmedtovirtueevenbythedistantreflectionofhisglowingexcellence,andencouragedbytherelationofhisanimatedzealtopersistintheprofessionaswellaspracticeofChristianity。
  SamuelJohnsonwasthesonofMichaelJohnson,abookselleratLichfield,inStaffordshire;averypiousandworthyman,butwrong—headed,positive,andafflictedwithmelancholy,ashisson,fromwhomaloneIhadtheinformation,oncetoldme:hisbusiness,however,leadinghimtobemuchonhorseback,contributedtothepreservationofhisbodilyhealthandmentalsanity,which,whenhestayedlongathome,wouldsometimesbeabouttogiveway;andMr。Johnsonsaid,thatwhenhisworkshop,adetachedbuilding,hadfallenhalfdownforwantofmoneytorepairit,hisfatherwasnotlessdiligenttolockthedooreverynight,thoughhesawthatanybodymightwalkinatthebackpart,andknewthattherewasnosecurityobtainedbybarringthefrontdoor。"THIS,"sayshisson,"wasmadness,youmaysee,andwouldhavebeendiscoverableinotherinstancesoftheprevalenceofimagination,butthatpovertypreventeditfromplayingsuchtricksasrichesandleisureencourage。"Michaelwasamanofstilllargersizeandgreaterstrengththanhisson,whowasreckonedverylikehim,butdidnotdelightintalkingmuchofhisfamily:"Onehas,"sayshe,"SO
  littlepleasureinrecitingtheanecdotesofbeggary。"Oneday,however,hearingmepraiseafavouritefriendwithpartialtendernessaswellastrueesteem:"Whydoyoulikethatman’sacquaintanceso?"saidhe。
  "Because,"repliedI,"heisopenandconfiding,andtellsmestoriesofhisunclesandcousins;Ilovethelightpartsofasolidcharacter。"
  "Nay,ifyouareforfamilyhistory,"saysMr。Johnson,good—humouredly,"_I_canfityou:Ihadanuncle,CorneliusFord,who,uponajourney,stoppedandreadaninscriptionwrittenonastonehesawstandingbythewayside,setup,asitproved,inhonourofamanwhohadleapedacertainleapthereabouts,theextentofwhichwasspecifieduponthestone:’Whynow,’saysmyuncle,’Icouldleapitinmyboots;’andhedidleapitinhisboots。Ihadlikewiseanotheruncle,Andrew,"continuedhe,"myfather’sbrother,whokepttheringinSmithfield(wheretheywrestledandboxed)forawholeyear,andneverwasthrownorconquered。Herenowareunclesforyou,Mistress,ifthat’sthewaytoyourheart。"Mr。Johnsonwasveryconversantintheartofattackanddefencebyboxing,whichsciencehehadlearnedfromthisuncleAndrew,Ibelieve;andIhaveheardhimdescantupontheagewhenpeoplewerereceived,andwhenrejected,intheschoolsonceheldforthatbrutalamusement,muchtotheadmirationofthosewhohadnoexpectationofhisskillinsuchmatters,fromthesightofafigurewhichprecludedallpossibilityofpersonalprowess;though,becausehesawMr。Thraleonedayleapoveracabrioletstool,toshowthathewasnottiredafterachaseoffiftymilesormore,HEsuddenlyjumpedoverittoo,butinawaysostrangeandsounwieldy,thatourterrorlestheshouldbreakhisbonestookfromuseventhepoweroflaughing。
  MichaelJohnsonwaspastfiftyyearsoldwhenhemarriedhiswife,whowasupwardsofforty,yetIthinkhersontoldmesheremainedthreeyearschildlessbeforehewasbornintotheworld,whosogreatlycontributedtoimproveit。Inthreeyearsmoreshebroughtanotherson,Nathaniel,wholivedtobetwenty—sevenortwenty—eightyearsold,andofwhosemanlyspiritIhaveheardhisbrotherspeakwithprideandpleasure,mentioningonecircumstance,particularenough,thatwhenthecompanywereonedaylamentingthebadnessoftheroads,heinquiredwheretheycouldbe,ashetravelledthecountrymorethanmostpeople,andhadneverseenabadroadinhislife。Thetwobrothersdidnot,however,muchdelightineachother’scompany,beingalwaysrivalsforthemother’sfondness;andmanyoftheseverereflectionsondomesticlifeinRasselastooktheirsourcefromitsauthor’skeenrecollectionsofthetimepassedinhisearlyyears。
  Theirfather,Michael,diedofaninflammatoryfeverattheageofseventy—six,asMr。Johnsontoldme,theirmotherateighty—nine,ofagradualdecay。Shewasslightinherperson,hesaid,andratherbelowthanabovethecommonsize。Soexcellentwashercharacter,andsoblamelessherlife,thatwhenanoppressiveneighbouronceendeavouredtotakefromheralittlefieldshepossessed,hecouldpersuadenoattorneytoundertakethecauseagainstawomansobelovedinhernarrowcircle:
  anditisthisincidenthealludestointhelineofhis"VanityofHumanWishes,"callingher"Thegeneralfavouriteasthegeneralfriend。"
  Norcouldanyonepaymorewillinghomagetosuchacharacter,thoughshehadnotbeenrelatedtohim,thandidDr。Johnsononeveryoccasionthatoffered:hisdisquisitiononPope’sepitaphplacedoverMrs。Corbetisaproofofthatpreferencealwaysgivenbyhimtoanoiselesslifeoverabustlingone;buthowevertastebegins,wealmostalwaysseethatitendsinsimplicity;thegluttonfinishesbylosinghisrelishforanythinghighlysauced,andcallsforhisboiledchickenatthecloseofmanyyearsspentinthesearchofdainties;theconnoisseursaresoonwearyofRubens,andthecriticsofLucan;andtherefinementsofeverykindheapeduponcivillifealwayssickentheirpossessorsbeforethecloseofit。
  AttheageoftwoyearsMr。JohnsonwasbroughtuptoLondonbyhismother,tobetouchedbyQueenAnneforthescrofulousevil,whichterriblyafflictedhischildhood,andleftsuchmarksasgreatlydisfiguredacountenancenaturallyharshandrugged,besidedoingirreparabledamagetotheauricularorgans,whichnevercouldperformtheirfunctionssinceI
  knewhim;anditwasowingtothathorribledisorder,too,thatoneeyewasperfectlyuselesstohim;thatdefect,however,wasnotobservable,theeyeslookedbothalike。AsMr。Johnsonhadanastonishingmemory,IaskedhimifhecouldrememberQueenAnneatall?"Hehad,"hesaid,"aconfused,butsomehowasortofsolemn,recollectionofaladyindiamonds,andalongblackhood。"
  Thechristeningofhisbrotherherememberedwithallitscircumstances,andsaidhismothertaughthimtospellandpronouncethewords’littleNatty,’syllablebysyllable,makinghimsayitoverintheeveningtoherhusbandandhisguests。Thetrickwhichmostparentsplaywiththeirchildren,thatofshowingofftheirnewly—acquiredaccomplishments,disgustedMr。Johnsonbeyondexpression。Hehadbeentreatedsohimself,hesaid,tillheabsolutelyloathedhisfather’scaresses,becauseheknewtheyweresuretoprecedesomeunpleasingdisplayofhisearlyabilities;
  andheused,whenneighbourscameo’visiting,torunupatreethathemightnotbefoundandexhibited,such,asnodoubthewas,aprodigyofearlyunderstanding。Hisepitaphupontheduckhekilledbytreadingonitatfiveyearsold——
  "HereliespoorduckThatSamuelJohnsontrodon;
  Ifithadliv’dithadbeengoodluck,Foritwouldhavebeenanoddone"——
  isastrikingexampleofearlyexpansionofmindandknowledgeoflanguage;
  yethealwaysseemedmoremortifiedattherecollectionofthebustlehisparentsmadewithhiswitthanpleasedwiththethoughtsofpossessingit。
  "That,"saidhetomeoneday,"isthegreatmiseryoflatemarriages;theunhappyproduceofthembecomestheplaythingofdotage。Anoldman’schild,"continuedhe,"leadsmuchsuchalife。Ithink,asalittleboy’sdog,teasedwithawkwardfondness,andforced,perhaps,tositupandbeg,aswecallit,todivertacompany,whoatlastgoawaycomplainingoftheirdisagreeableentertainment。"Inconsequenceofthesemaxims,andfullofindignationagainstsuchparentsasdelighttoproducetheiryoungonesearlyintothetalkingworld,IhaveknownMr。Johnsongiveagooddealofpainbyrefusingtoheartheversesthechildrencouldrecite,orthesongstheycouldsing,particularlyonefriendwhotoldhimthathistwosonsshouldrepeatGray’s"Elegy"tohimalternately,thathemightjudgewhohadthehappiestcadence。"No,pray,sir,"saidhe,"letthedearsbothspeakitatonce;morenoisewillbythatmeansbemade,andthenoisewillbesoonerover。"Hetoldmethestoryhimself,butIhaveforgotwhothefatherwas。
  Mr。Johnson’smotherwasdaughtertoagentlemaninthecountry,suchasthereweremanyofinthosedays,whopossessing,perhaps,oneortwohundredpoundsayearinland,livedontheprofits,andsoughtnottoincreasetheirincome。Shewas,therefore,inclinedtothinkhigherofherselfthanofherhusband,whoseconductinmoneymattersbeingbutindifferent,shehadatrickofteasinghimaboutit,andwas,byherson’saccount,veryimportunatewithregardtoherfearsofspendingmorethantheycouldafford,thoughsheneverarrivedatknowinghowmuchthatwas,afaultcommon,ashesaid,tomostwomenwhopridethemselvesontheireconomy。Theydidnot,however,asIcouldunderstand,liveilltogetheronthewhole。"Myfather,"sayshe,"couldalwaystakehishorseandrideawayfororderswhenthingswentbadly。"Thelady’smaidennamewasFord;
  andtheparsonwhositsnexttothepunch—bowlinHogarth’s"ModernMidnightConversation"washerbrother’sson。ThisFordwasamanwhochosetobeeminentonlyforvice,withtalentsthatmighthavemadehimconspicuousinliterature,andrespectableinanyprofessionhecouldhavechosen。HiscousinhasmentionedhiminthelivesofFentonandofBroome;
  andwhenhespokeofhimtomeitwasalwayswithtenderness,praisinghisacquaintancewithlifeandmanners,andrecollectingonepieceofadvicethatnomansurelyeverfollowedmoreexactly:"Obtain,"saysFord,"somegeneralprinciplesofeveryscience;hewhocantalkonlyononesubject,oractonlyinonedepartment,isseldomwanted,andperhapsneverwishedfor,whilethemanofgeneralknowledgecanoftenbenefit,andalwaysplease。"Heusedtorelate,however,anotherstorylesstothecreditofhiscousin’spenetration,howFordonsomeoccasionsaidtohim,"Youwillmakeyourwaythemoreeasilyintheworld,Isee,asyouarecontentedtodisputenoman’sclaimtoconversationexcellence;theywill,therefore,morewillinglyallowyourpretensionsasawriter。"Canone,onsuchanoccasion,forbearrecollectingthepredictionsofBoileau’sfather,whenstrokingtheheadoftheyoungsatirist?——"Cepetitbonhomme,"sayshe,"n’apointtropd’esprit,MAISILnedirajamaismaldepersonne。"Sucharetheprognosticsformedbymenofwitandsense,asthesetwocertainlywere,concerningthefuturecharacterandconductofthoseforwhosewelfaretheywerehonestlyanddeeplyconcerned;andsolatedothosefeaturesofpeculiaritycometotheirgrowth,whichmarkacharactertoallsucceedinggenerations。
  Dr。JohnsonfirstlearnedtoreadofhismotherandheroldmaidCatharine,inwhoselaphewellrememberedsittingwhilesheexplainedtohimthestoryofSt。GeorgeandtheDragon。Iknownotwhetherthisistheproperplacetoaddthatsuchwashistenderness,andsuchhisgratitude,thathetookajourneytoLichfieldfifty—sevenyearsafterwardstosupportandcomfortherinherlastillness;hehadinquiredforhisnurse,andshewasdead。Therecollectionofsuchreadingashaddelightedhiminhisinfancymadehimalwayspersistinfancyingthatitwastheonlyreadingwhichcouldpleaseaninfant;andheusedtocondemnmeforputtingNewbery’sbooksintotheirhandsastootriflingtoengagetheirattention。"Babiesdonotwant,"saidhe,"tohearaboutbabies;theyliketobetoldofgiantsandcastles,andofsomewhatwhichcanstretchandstimulatetheirlittleminds。"WheninanswerIwouldurgethenumerouseditionsandquicksaleof"TommyPrudent"or"GoodyTwo—Shoes。""Rememberalways,"saidhe,"thattheparentsBUYthebooks,andthatthechildrenneverreadthem。"
  Mrs。Barbauld,however,hadhisbestpraise,anddeservedit;nomanwasmorestruckthanMr。Johnsonwithvoluntarydescentfrompossiblesplendourtopainfulduty。
  Ateightyearsoldhewenttoschool,forhishealthwouldnotpermithimtobesentsooner;andattheageoftenyearshismindwasdisturbedbyscruplesofinfidelity,whichpreyeduponhisspiritsandmadehimveryuneasy,themoresoasherevealedhisuneasinesstonoone,beingnaturally,ashesaid,"ofasullentemperandreserveddisposition。"Hesearched,however,diligentlybutfruitlessly,forevidencesofthetruthofrevelation;andatlength,recollectingabookhehadonceseeninhisfather’sshop,entitled"DeVeritateReligionis,"etc。,hebegantothinkhimselfhighlyculpableforneglectingsuchameansofinformation,andtookhimselfseverelytotaskforthissin,addingmanyactsofvoluntary,andtoothersunknown,penance。Thefirstopportunitywhichoffered,ofcourse,heseizedthebookwithavidity,butonexamination,notfindinghimselfscholarenoughtoperuseitscontents,sethisheartatrest;and,notthinkingtoinquirewhethertherewereanyEnglishbookswrittenonthesubject,followedhisusualamusements,andconsideredhisconscienceaslightenedofacrime。Heredoubledhisdiligencetolearnthelanguagethatcontainedtheinformationhemostwishedfor,butfromthepainwhichguilthadgivenhimhenowbegantodeducethesoul’simmortality,whichwasthepointthatbelieffirststoppedat;andfromthatmoment,resolvingtobeaChristian,becameoneofthemostzealousandpiousonesournationeverproduced。Whenhehadtoldmethisoddanecdoteofhischildhood,"I
  cannotimagine,"saidhe,"whatmakesmetalkofmyselftoyouso,forI
  reallynevermentionedthisfoolishstorytoanybodyexceptDr。Taylor,noteventomyDEAR,DEARBathurst,whomIlovedbetterthaneverIlovedanyhumancreature;butpoorBathurstisdead!"Herealongpauseandafewtearsensued。"Why,sir,"saidI,"howlikeisallthistoJeanJacquesRousseau——aslike,Imean,asthesensationsoffrostandfire,whenmychildcomplainedyesterdaythattheiceshewaseatingBURNEDhermouth。"
  Mr。Johnsonlaughedattheincongruousideas,butthefirstthingwhichpresenteditselftothemindofaningeniousandlearnedfriendwhomIhadthepleasuretopasssometimewithhereatFlorencewasthesameresemblance,thoughIthinkthetwocharactershadlittleincommon,furtherthananearlyattentiontothingsbeyondthecapacityofotherbabies,akeensensibilityofrightandwrong,andawarmthofimaginationlittleconsistentwithsoundandperfecthealth。Ihaveheardhimrelateanotheroddthingofhimselftoo,butitisonewhicheverybodyhasheardaswellasme:how,whenhewasaboutnineyearsold,havinggottheplayofHamletinhishand,andreadingitquietlyinhisfather’skitchen,hekeptonsteadilyenoughtill,comingtotheGhostscene,hesuddenlyhurriedupstairstothestreetdoorthathemightseepeopleabouthim。
  Suchanincident,ashewasnotunwillingtorelateit,isprobablyineveryone’spossessionnow;hetolditasatestimonytothemeritsofShakespeare。Butoneday,whenmysonwasgoingtoschool,anddearDr。
  Johnsonfollowedasfarasthegardengate,prayingforhissalvationinavoicewhichthosewholistenedattentivelycouldhearplainenough,hesaidtomesuddenly,"Makeyourboytellyouhisdreams:thefirstcorruptionthatenteredintomyheartwascommunicatedinadream。""Whatwasit,sir?"saidI。"Donotaskme,"repliedhe,withmuchviolence,andwalkedawayinapparentagitation。Ineverdurstmakeanyfurtherinquiries。HeretainedastrongaversionforthememoryofHunter,oneofhisschoolmasters,who,hesaid,oncewasabrutalfellow,"sobrutal,"addedhe,"thatnomanwhohadbeeneducatedbyhimeversenthissontothesameschool。"Ihave,however,heardhimacknowledgehisscholarshiptobeverygreat。Hisnextmasterhedespised,asknowinglessthanhimself,Ifound,butthenameofthatgentlemanhasslippedmymemory。Mr。Johnsonwashimselfexceedinglydisposedtothegeneralindulgenceofchildren,andwasevenscrupulouslyandceremoniouslyattentivenottooffendthem;hehadstronglypersuadedhimselfofthedifficultypeoplealwaysfindtoeraseearlyimpressionseitherofkindnessorresentment,andsaid"heshouldneverhavesolovedhismotherwhenamanhadshenotgivenhimcoffeeshecouldillafford,togratifyhisappetitewhenaboy。""Ifyouhadhadchildren,sir,"saidI,"wouldyouhavetaughtthemanything?""Ihope,"
  repliedhe,"thatIshouldhavewillinglylivedonbreadandwatertoobtaininstructionforthem;butIwouldnothavesettheirfuturefriendshiptohazardforthesakeofthrustingintotheirheadsknowledgeofthingsforwhichtheymightnotperhapshaveeithertasteornecessity。
  Youteachyourdaughtersthediametersoftheplanets,andwonderwhenyouhavedonethattheydonotdelightinyourcompany。Nosciencecanbecommunicatedbymortalcreatureswithoutattentionfromthescholar;noattentioncanbeobtainedfromchildrenwithouttheinflictionofpain,andpainisneverrememberedwithoutresentment。"Thatsomethingshouldbelearnedwas,however,socertainlyhisopinionthatIhaveheardhimsayhoweducationhadbeenoftencomparedtoagriculture,yetthatitresembleditchieflyinthis:"Thatifnothingissown,nocrop,"sayshe,"canbeobtained。"Hiscontemptoftheladywhofanciedhersoncouldbeeminentwithoutstudy,becauseShakespearewasfoundwantinginscholasticlearning,wasexpressedintermssogrossandsowellknown,Iwillnotrepeatthemhere。
  Torecollect,however,andtorepeatthesayingsofDr。Johnson,isalmostallthatcanbedonebythewritersofhislife,ashislife,atleastsincemyacquaintancewithhim,consistedinlittleelsethantalking,whenhewasnotabsolutelyemployedinsomeseriouspieceofwork;andwhateverworkhedidseemedsomuchbelowhispowersofperformancethatheappearedtheidlestofallhumanbeings,evermusingtillhewascalledouttoconverse,andconversingtillthefatigueofhisfriends,orthepromptitudeofhisowntempertotakeoffence,consignedhimbackagaintosilentmeditation。
  TheremembranceofwhathadpassedinhisownchildhoodmadeMr。Johnsonverysolicitoustopreservethefelicityofchildren:andwhenhehadpersuadedDr。Sumnertoremitthetasksusuallygiventofillupboys’
  timeduringtheholidays,herejoicedexceedinglyinthesuccessofhisnegotiation,andtoldmethathehadneverceasedrepresentingtoalltheeminentschoolmastersinEnglandtheabsurdtyrannyofpoisoningthehourofpermittedpleasurebykeepingfuturemiserybeforethechildren’seyes,andtemptingthembybriberyorfalsehoodtoevadeit。"BobSumner,"saidhe,"however,Ihaveatlengthprevailedupon。Iknownot,indeed,whetherhistendernesswaspersuaded,orhisreasonconvinced,buttheeffectwillalwaysbethesame。PoorDr。Sumnerdied,however,beforethenextvacation。"
  Mr。Johnsonwasofopinion,too,thatyoungpeopleshouldhavePOSITIVE,notGENERAL,rulesgivenfortheirdirection。"Mymother,"saidhe,"wasalwaystellingmethatIdidnotBEHAVEmyselfproperly,thatIshouldendeavourtolearnBEHAVIOUR,andsuchcant;butwhenIrepliedthatsheoughttotellmewhattodo,andwhattoavoid,heradmonitionswerecommonly,forthattimeatleast,atanend。"
  ThisIfearwas,however,atbestamomentaryrefugefoundoutbyperverseness。NomanknewbetterthanJohnsoninhowmanynamelessandnumberlessactionsBEHAVIOURconsists——actionswhichcanscarcelybereducedtorule,andwhichcomeundernodescription。Oftheseheretainedsomanyverystrangeones,thatIsupposenoonewhosawhisoddmannerofgesticulatingmuchblamedorwonderedatthegoodlady’ssolicitudeconcerningherson’sBEHAVIOUR。
  Thoughhewasattentivetothepeaceofchildreningeneral,nomanhadastrongercontemptthanheforsuchparentsasopenlyprofessthattheycannotgoverntheirchildren。"How,"sayshe,"isanarmygoverned?Suchpeople,forthemostpart,multiplyprohibitionstillobediencebecomesimpossible,andauthorityappearsabsurd,andneversuspectthattheyteasetheirfamily,theirfriends,andthemselves,onlybecauseconversationrunslow,andsomethingmustbesaid。"
  Ofparentalauthority,indeed,fewpeoplethoughtwithalowerdegreeofestimation。IonedaymentionedtheresignationofCyrustohisfather’swill,asrelatedbyXenophon,when,afterallhisconquests,herequestedtheconsentofCambysestohismarriagewithaneighbouringprincess,andI
  addedRollin’sapplauseandrecommendationoftheexample。"Doyounotperceive,then,"saysJohnson,"thatXenophononthisoccasioncommendslikeapedant,andPereRollinapplaudslikeaslave?IfCyrusbyhisconquestshadnotpurchasedemancipation,hehadconqueredtolittlepurposeindeed。Canyouforbeartoseethefollyofafellowwhohasinhiscarethelivesofthousands,whenhebegshispapapermissiontobemarried,andconfesseshisinabilitytodecideinamatterwhichconcernsnoman’shappinessbuthisown?"Mr。Johnsoncaughtmeanothertimereprimandingthedaughterofmyhousekeeperforhavingsatdownunpermittedinhermother’spresence。"Why,shegetsherliving,doesshenot,"saidhe,"withouthermother’shelp?Letthewenchalone,"continuedhe。Andwhenwewereagainoutofthewomen’ssightwhowereconcernedinthedispute:"Poorpeople’schildren,dearlady,"saidhe,"neverrespectthem。Ididnotrespectmyownmother,thoughIlovedher。Andoneday,wheninangershecalledmeapuppy,Iaskedherifsheknewwhattheycalledapuppy’smother。"Weweretalkingofayoungfellowwhousedtocomeoftentothehouse;hewasaboutfifteenyearsold,orless,ifI
  rememberright,andhadamanneratoncesullenandsheepish。"Thatlad,"
  saysMr。Johnson,"lookslikethesonofaschoolmaster,which,"addedhe,"isoneoftheveryworstconditionsofchildhood。Suchaboyhasnofather,orworsethannone;henevercanreflectonhisparentbutthereflectionbringstohismindsomeideaofpaininflicted,orofsorrowsuffered。"
  IwillrelateonethingmorethatDr。JohnsonsaidaboutbabyhoodbeforeI
  quitthesubject;itwasthis:"Thatlittlepeopleshouldbeencouragedalwaystotellwhatevertheyhearparticularlystrikingtosomebrother,sister,orservantimmediately,beforetheimpressioniserasedbytheinterventionofneweroccurrences。HeperfectlyrememberedthefirsttimeheeverheardofHeavenandHell,"hesaid,"becausewhenhismotherhadmadeoutsuchadescriptionofbothplacesasshethoughtlikelytoseizetheattentionofherinfantauditor,whowastheninbedwithher,shegotup,anddressinghimbeforetheusualtime,senthimdirectlytocallafavouriteworkmaninthehouse,towhomheknewhewouldcommunicatetheconversationwhileitwasyetimpresseduponhismind。Theeventwaswhatshewished,anditwastothatmethodchieflythatheowedhisuncommonfelicityofrememberingdistantoccurrencesandlongpastconversations。"
  AttheageofeighteenDr。Johnsonquittedschool,andescapedfromthetuitionofthosehehatedorthosehedespised。Ihaveheardhimrelateveryfewcollegeadventures。HeusedtosaythatourbestaccountsofhisbehaviourtherewouldbegatheredfromDr。AdamsandDr。Taylor,andthathewassuretheywouldalwaystellthetruth。Hetoldme,however,onedayhow,whenhewasfirstenteredattheUniversity,hepassedamorning,incompliancewiththecustomsoftheplace,athistutor’schambers;but,findinghimnoscholar,wentnomore。Inabouttendaysafter,meetingthesamegentleman,Mr。Jordan,inthestreet,heofferedtopassbywithoutsalutinghim;butthetutorstopped,andinquired,notroughlyneither,whathehadbeendoing?"Slidingontheice,"wasthereply,andsoturnedawaywithdisdain。Helaughedveryheartilyattherecollectionofhisowninsolence,andsaidtheyendureditfromhimwithwonderfulacquiescence,andagentlenessthat,wheneverhethoughtofit,astonishedhimself。Hetoldme,too,thatwhenhemadehisfirstdeclamation,hewroteoverbutonecopy,andthatcoarsely;andhavinggivenitintothehandofthetutor,whostoodtoreceiveitashepassed,wasobligedtobeginbychanceandcontinueonhowhecould,forhehadgotbutlittleofitbyheart;sofairlytrustingtohispresentpowersforimmediatesupply,hefinishedbyaddingastonishmenttotheapplauseofallwhoknewhowlittlewasowingtostudy。Aprodigiousrisk,however,saidsomeone。"Notatall!"exclaimsJohnson。"Noman,Isuppose,leapsatonceintodeepwaterwhodoesnotknowhowtoswim。"
  Idoubtnotbutthisstorywillbetoldbymanyofhisbiographers,andsaidsotohimwhenhetolditmeonthe18thofJuly,1773。"Andwhowillbemybiographer,"saidhe,"doyouthink?""Goldsmith,nodoubt,"repliedI,"andhewilldoitthebestamongus。""Thedogwouldwriteitbest,tobesure,"repliedhe;"buthisparticularmalicetowardsme,andgeneraldisregardfortruth,wouldmakethebookuselesstoall,andinjurioustomycharacter。""Oh!astothat,"saidI,"weshouldallfastenuponhim,andforcehimtodoyoujustice;buttheworstis,theDoctordoesnotKNOW
  yourlife;norcanItellindeedwhodoes,exceptDr。TaylorofAshbourne。"
  "Why,Taylor,"saidhe,"isbetteracquaintedwithmyHEARTthananymanorwomannowalive;andthehistoryofmyOxfordexploitsliesallbetweenhimandAdams;butDr。Jamesknowsmyveryearlydaysbetterthanhe。AftermycomingtoLondontodrivetheworldaboutalittle,youmustallgotoJackHawkesworthforanecdotes。Ilivedingreatfamiliaritywithhim(thoughI
  thinktherewasnotmuchaffection)fromtheyear1753tillthetimeMr。
  Thraleandyoutookmeup。Iintend,however,todisappointtherogues,andeithermakeyouwritethelife,withTaylor’sintelligence,or,whichisbetter,doitmyself,afteroutlivingyouall。Iamnow,"addedhe,"keepingadiary,inhopesofusingitforthatpurposesometime。"Heretheconversationstopped,frommyaccidentallylookinginanoldmagazineoftheyear1768,whereIsawthefollowinglineswithhisnametothem,andaskediftheywerehis:——
  VersessaidtobewrittenbyDr。SamuelJohnson,attherequestofagentlemantowhomaladyhadgivenasprigofmyrtle。
  "Whathopes,whatterrors,doesthygiftcreate,Ambiguousemblemofuncertainfate;
  Themyrtle,ensignofsupremecommand,ConsignedbyVenustoMelissa’shand:
  Notlesscapriciousthanareigningfair,Nowgrants,andnowrejectsalover’sprayer。
  Inmyrtleshadesoftsingsthehappyswain,Inmyrtleshadesdespairingghostscomplain:
  Themyrtlecrownsthehappylovers’heads,Theunhappylover’sgravethemyrtlespreads:
  Oh,then,themeaningofthygiftimpart,Andeasethethrobbingsofananxiousheart!
  Soonmustthisbough,asyoushallfixhisdoom,AdornPhilander’shead,orgracehistomb。"
  "Why,now,dobutseehowtheworldisgapingforawonder!"criesMr。
  Johnson。"Ithinkitisnowjustfortyyearsagothatayoungfellowhadasprigofmyrtlegivenhimbyagirlhecourted,andaskedmetowritehimsomeversesthathemightpresentherinreturn。Ipromised,butforgot;
  andwhenhecalledforhislinesatthetimeagreedon——’Sitstillamoment,’saysI,’dearMund,andI’llfetchthemthee,’sosteppedasideforfiveminutes,andwrotethenonsenseyounowkeepsuchastirabout。"
  Uponrevisingtheseanecdotes,itisimpossiblenottobestruckwithshameandregretthatonetreasurednomoreofthemup;butnoexperienceissufficienttocuretheviceofnegligence。Whateveroneseesconstantly,ormightseeconstantly,becomesuninteresting;andwesuffereverytrivialoccupation,everyslightamusement,tohinderusfromwritingdownwhat,indeed,wecannotchoosebutremember,butwhatweshouldwishtorecollectwithpleasure,unpoisonedbyremorsefornotrememberingmore。WhileI
  writethis,Ineglectimpressingmymindwiththewondersofartandbeautiesofnaturethatnowsurroundme;andshalloneday,perhaps,thinkonthehoursImighthaveprofitablypassedintheFlorentineGallery,andreflectingonRaphael’sSt。Johnatthattime,asuponJohnson’sconversationinthismoment,mayjustlyexclaimofthemonthsspentbymemostdelightfullyinItaly——
  "ThatIprizedeveryhourthatpassedby,Beyondallthathadpleasedmebefore;
  Butnowtheyarepast,andIsighAndIgrievethatIprizedthemnomore。"
  SHENSTONE。
  Dr。JohnsondelightedinhisownpartialityforOxford;andoneday,atmyhouse,entertainedfivemembersoftheotherUniversitywithvariousinstancesofthesuperiorityofOxford,enumeratingthegiganticnamesofmanymenwhomithadproduced,withapparenttriumph。AtlastIsaidtohim,"Why,therehappenstobenolessthanfiveCambridgemenintheroomnow。""Ididnot,"saidhe,"thinkofthattillyoutoldme;butthewolfdon’tcountthesheep。"Whenthecompanywereretired,wehappenedtobetalkingofDr。Barnard,theProvostofEton,whodiedaboutthattime;andafteralongandjusteulogiumonhiswit,hislearning,andhisgoodnessofheart,"Hewastheonlyman,too,"saysMr。Johnson,quiteseriously,"thatdidjusticetomygoodbreeding;andyoumayobservethatIamwell—bredtoadegreeofneedlessscrupulosity。Noman,"continuedhe,notobservingtheamazementofhishearers,"nomanissocautiousnottointerruptanother;nomanthinksitsonecessarytoappearattentivewhenothersarespeaking;nomansosteadilyrefusespreferencetohimself,orsowillinglybestowsitonanother,asIdo;nobodyholdssostronglyasI
  dothenecessityofceremony,andtheilleffectswhichfollowthebreachofit,yetpeoplethinkmerude;butBarnarddidmejustice。""’Tispity,"
  saidI,laughing,"thathehadnotheardyoucomplimenttheCambridgemenafterdinnerto—day。""Why,"repliedhe,"IwasinclinedtoDOWNthemsureenough;butthenafellowDESERVEStobeofOxfordthattalksso。"Ihaveheardhimatothertimesrelatehowheusedsositinsomecoffee—housethere,andturnM————’s"C—r—ct—c—s"intoridiculeforthediversionofhimselfandofchancecomers—in。"The’Elf—da,’"sayshe,"wastooexquisitelypretty;Icouldmakenofunoutofthat。"Whenuponsomeoccasionshewouldexpresshisastonishmentthatheshouldhaveanenemyintheworld,whilehehadbeendoingnothingbutgoodtohisneighbours,I
  usedtomakehimrecollectthesecircumstances。"Why,child,"saidhe,"whatharmcouldthatdothefellow?IalwaysthoughtverywellofM————nforaCAMBRIDGEman;heis,Ibelieve,amightyblamelesscharacter。"Suchtrickswere,however,themoreunpardonableinMr。Johnson,becausenoonecouldharanguelikehimaboutthedifficultyalwaysfoundinforgivingpettyinjuries,orinprovokingbyneedlessoffence。Mr。Jordan,histutor,hadmuchofhisaffection,thoughhedespisedhiswantofscholasticlearning。"Thatcreaturewould,"saidhe,"defendhispupilstothelast:
  noyoungladunderhiscareshouldsufferforcommittingslightimproprieties,whilehehadbreathtodefend,orpowertoprotectthem。IfIhadhadsonstosendtoCollege,"addedhe,"Jordanshouldhavebeentheirtutor。"
  SirWilliamBrowne,thephysician,wholivedtoaveryextraordinaryage,andwasinotherrespectsanoddmortal,withmoregeniusthanunderstanding,andmoreselfsufficiencythanwit,wastheonlypersonwhoventuredtoopposeMr。Johnsonwhenhehadamindtoshinebyexaltinghisfavouriteuniversity,andtoexpresshiscontemptoftheWhiggishnotionswhichprevailatCambridge。HEdiditonce,however,withsurprisingfelicity。HisantagonisthavingrepeatedwithanairoftriumphthefamousepigramwrittenbyDr。Trapp——
  "Ourroyalmastersaw,withheedfuleyes,Thewantsofhistwouniversities:
  TroopshetoOxfordsent,asknowingwhyThatlearnedbodywantedloyalty:
  ButbookstoCambridgegave,aswelldiscerningThatthatrightloyalbodywantedlearning。"
  Which,saysSirWilliam,mightwellbeansweredthus:——
  "TheKingtoOxfordsenthistroopofhorse,ForToriesownnoargumentbutforce;
  WithequalcaretoCambridgebookshesent,ForWhigsallownoforcebutargument。"
  Mr。Johnsondidhimthejusticetosayitwasoneofthehappiestextemporaneousproductionsheevermetwith,thoughheoncecomicallyconfessedthathehatedtorepeatthewitofaWhigurgedinsupportofWhiggism。SaysGarricktohimoneday,"WhydidnotyoumakemeaTory,whenwelivedsomuchtogether?YoulovetomakepeopleTories。""Why,"
  saysJohnson,pullingaheapofhalfpencefromhispocket,"didnotthekingmaketheseguineas?"
  OfMr。Johnson’sToryismtheworldhaslongbeenwitness,andthepoliticalpamphletswrittenbyhimindefenceofhispartyarevigorousandelegant。
  HeoftendelightedhisimaginationwiththethoughtsofhavingdestroyedJunius,ananonymouswriterwhoflourishedintheyears1769and177O,andwhokepthimselfsoingeniouslyconcealedfromeveryendeavourtodetecthimthatnoprobableguesswas,Ibelieve,everformedconcerningtheauthor’sname,thoughatthattimethesubjectofgeneralconversation。
  Mr。Johnsonmadeusalllaughoneday,becauseIhadreceivedaremarkablyfineStiltoncheeseasapresentfromsomepersonwhohadpackedanddirecteditcarefully,butwithoutmentioningwhenceitcame。Mr。Thrale,desiroustoknowwhowewereobligedto,askedeveryfriendastheycamein,butnobodyownedit。"Dependuponit,sir,"saysJohnson,"itwassentbyJUNIUS。"
  The"FalseAlarm,"hisfirstandfavouritepamphlet,waswrittenatourhousebetweeneighto’clockonWednesdaynightandtwelveo’clockonThursdaynight。WereadittoMr。ThralewhenhecameverylatehomefromtheHouseofCommons;theotherpoliticaltractsfollowedintheirorder。
  IhaveforgottenwhichcontainsthestrokeatJunius,butshallforeverrememberthepleasureitgavehimtohavewrittenit。Itwas,however,intheyear1775thatMr。EdmundBurkemadethefamousspeechinParliamentthatstruckevenfoeswithadmiration,andfriendswithdelight。Amongthenamelessthousandswhoarecontentedtoechothosepraisestheyhavenotskilltoinvent,_I_ventured,beforeDr。Johnsonhimself,toapplaudwithrapturethebeautifulpassageinitconcerningLordBathurstandtheAngel,which,saidourDoctor,hadIbeeninthehouse,IwouldhaveansweredTHUS:——
  "Suppose,Mr。Speaker,thattoWhartonortoMarlborough,ortoanyoftheeminentWhigsofthelastage,thedevilhad,notwithanygreatimpropriety,consentedtoappear,hewould,perhaps,insomewhatlikethesewords,havecommencedtheconversation:
  "’Youseem,mylord,tobeconcernedatthejudiciousapprehensionthatwhileyouaresappingthefoundationsofroyaltyathome,andpropagatingherethedangerousdoctrineofresistance,thedistanceofAmericamaysecureitsinhabitantsfromyourarts,thoughactive。ButIwillunfoldtoyouthegayprospectsoffuturity。Thispeople,nowsoinnocentandharmless,shalldrawtheswordagainsttheirmothercountry,andbatheitspointinthebloodoftheirbenefactors;thispeople,nowcontentedwithalittle,shallthenrefusetosparewhattheythemselvesconfesstheycouldnotmiss;andthesemen,nowsohonestandsograteful,shall,inreturnforpeaceandforprotection,seetheirvileagentsintheHouseofParliament,theretosowtheseedsofsedition,andpropagateconfusion,perplexity,andpain。Benotdispirited,then,atthecontemplationoftheirpresenthappystate:Ipromiseyouthatanarchy,poverty,anddeathshall,bymycare,becarriedevenacrossthespaciousAtlantic,andsettleinAmericaitself,thesureconsequencesofourbelovedWhiggism。’"
  ThisIthoughtathingsoveryparticularthatIbeggedhisleavetowriteitdowndirectly,beforeanythingcouldintervenethatmightmakemeforgettheforceoftheexpressions。AtrickwhichIhave,however,seenplayedoncommonoccasions,ofsittingsteadilydownattheotherendoftheroomtowriteatthemomentwhatshouldbesaidincompany,eitherBYDr。
  JohnsonorTOhim,Ineverpractisedmyself,norapprovedofinanother。
  Thereissomethingsoill—bred,andsoincliningtotreacheryinthisconduct,thatwereitcommonlyadoptedallconfidencewouldsoonbeexiledfromsociety,andaconversationassembly—roomwouldbecometremendousasacourtofjustice。Asetofacquaintancejoinedinfamiliarchatmaysayathousandthingswhich,asthephraseis,passwellenoughatthetime,thoughtheycannotstandthetestofcriticalexamination;andasalltalkbeyondthatwhichisnecessarytothepurposesofactualbusinessisakindofgame,therewillbeeverfoundwaysofplayingfairlyorunfairlyatit,whichdistinguishthegentlemanfromthejuggler。Dr。Johnson,aswellasmanyofmyacquaintance,knewthatIkeptacommon—placebook,andheonedaysaidtomegood—humouredlythathewouldgivemesomethingtowriteinmyrepository。"Iwarrant,"saidhe,"thereisagreatdealaboutmeinit。Youshallhaveatleastonethingworthyourpains,soifyouwillgetthepenandinkIwillrepeattoyouAnacreon’s’Dove’directly;buttellatthesametimethatasIneverwasstruckwithanythingintheGreeklanguagetillIreadTHAT,soIneverreadanythinginthesamelanguagesincethatpleasedmeasmuch。Ihopemytranslation,"continuedhe,"isnotworsethanthatofFrankFawkes。"Seeingmedisposedtolaugh,"Nay,nay,"saidhe,"FrankFawkeshasdonethemveryfinely。"
  "Lovelycourierofthesky,Whenceandwhitherdostthoufly?
  Scatt’ring,asthypinionsplay,Liquidfragrancealltheway。
  Isitbusiness?isitlove?
  Tellme,tellme,gentleDove。
  ’SoftAnacreon’svowsIbear,VowstoMyrtalethefair;
  Gracedwithallthatcharmstheheart,Blushingnature,smilingart。
  Venus,courtedbyanode,OnthebardherDovebestowed。
  Vestedwithamaster’srightNowAnacreonrulesmyflight;
  Histhelettersthatyousee,Weightychargeconsignedtome;
  Thinknotyetmyservicehard,Joylesstaskwithoutreward;
  Smilingatmymaster’sgates,Freedommyreturnawaits。
  ButtheliberalgrantinvainTemptsmetobewildagain。
  CanaprudentDovedeclineBlissfulbondagesuchasmine?
  Overhillsandfieldstoroam,Fortune’sguestwithoutahome;
  Underleavestohideone’shead,Slightlysheltered,coarselyfed;
  NowmybetterlotbestowsSweetrepast,andsoftrepose;
  NowthegenerousbowlIsipAsitleavesAnacreon’slip;
  Voidofcare,andfreefromdread,Fromhisfingerssnatchhisbread,Thenwithlusciousplentygay,Roundhischamberdanceandplay;
  Orfromwine,ascouragesprings,O’erhisfaceextendmywings;
  Andwhenfeastandfrolictire,Dropasleepuponhislyre。
  Thisisall,bequickandgo,Morethanallthoucanstnotknow;
  Letmenowmypinionsply,Ihavechatteredlikeapie。’"
  WhenIhadfinished,"Butyoumustremembertoadd,"saysMr。Johnson,"thatthoughtheseverseswereplanned,andevenbegun,whenIwassixteenyearsold,InevercouldfindtimetomakeanendofthembeforeIwassixty—eight。"
  Thisfacilityofwriting,andthisdilatorinessevertowrite,Mr。Johnsonalwaysretained,fromthedaysthathelayabedanddictatedhisfirstpublicationtoMr。Hector,whoactedashisamanuensis,tothemomenthemademecopyoutthosevariationsinPope’s"Homer"whichareprintedinthe"Poets’Lives。""Andnow,"saidhe,whenIhadfinisheditforhim,"I
  fearnotMr。Nicholsonofapin。"Thefine’Rambler,’onthesubjectofProcrastination,washastilycomposed,asIhaveheard,inSirJoshuaReynolds’sparlour,whiletheboywaitedtocarryittopress;andnumberlessaretheinstancesofhiswritingunderimmediatepressureofimportunityordistress。HetoldmethatthecharacterofSoberinthe’Idler’wasbyhimselfintendedashisownportrait,andthathehadhisownoutsetintolifeinhiseyewhenhewrotetheEasternstoryof"Gelaleddin。"Oftheallegoricalpapersinthe’Rambler,’LabourandRestwashisfavourite;butScrotinus,themanwhoreturnslateinlifetoreceivehonoursinhisnativecountry,andmeetswithmortificationinsteadofrespect,wasbyhimconsideredasamasterpieceinthescienceoflifeandmanners。ThecharacterofProsperointhefourthvolumeGarricktooktobehis;andIhaveheardtheauthorsaythatheneverforgavetheoffence。Sophronwaslikewiseapicturedrawnfromreality,andbyGelidus,thephilosopher,hemeanttorepresentMr。Coulson,amathematician,whoformerlylivedatRochester。Themanimmortalisedforpurringlikeacatwas,ashetoldme,oneBusby,aproctorintheCommons。
  Hewhobarkedsoingeniously,andthencalledthedrawertodriveawaythedog,wasfathertoDr。Salter,oftheCharterhouse。Hewhosangasong,andbycorrespondentmotionsofhisarmchalkedoutagiantonthewall,wasoneRichardson,anattorney。Thelettersigned"Sunday"waswrittenbyMissTalbot;andhefanciedthebilletsinthefirstvolumeofthe’Rambler’weresenthimbyMissMulso,nowMrs。Chapone。ThepaperscontributedbyMrs。Carterhadmuchofhisesteem,thoughhealwaysblamedmeforpreferringthelettersigned"Chariessa"totheallegory,wherereligionandsuperstitionareindeedmostmasterlydelineated。
  WhenDr。Johnsonreadhisownsatire,inwhichthelifeofascholarispainted,withthevariousobstructionsthrowninhiswaytofortuneandtofame,heburstintoapassionoftearsoneday。ThefamilyandMr。Scottonlywerepresent,who,inajocoseway,clappedhimontheback,andsaid,"What’sallthis,mydearsir?Why,youandIandHERCULES,youknow,werealltroubledwithMELANCHOLY。"Astherearemanygentlemenofthesamename,Ishouldsay,perhaps,thatitwasaMr。ScottwhomarriedMissRobinson,andthatIthinkIhaveheardMr。ThralecallhimGeorgeLowis,orGeorgeAugustus,Ihaveforgotwhich。Hewasaverylargeman,however,andmadeoutthetriumviratewithJohnsonandHerculescomicallyenough。
  TheDoctorwassodelightedathisoddsallythathesuddenlyembracedhim,andthesubjectwasimmediatelychanged。IneversawMr。Scottbutthatonceinmylife。
  Dr。Johnsonwasliberalenoughingrantingliteraryassistancetoothers,I
  think;andinnumerablearetheprefaces,sermons,lectures,anddedicationswhichheusedtomakeforpeoplewhobeggedofhim。Mr。Murphyrelatedinhisandmyhearingoneday,andhedidnotdenyit,thatwhenMurphyjokedhimtheweekbeforeforhavingbeensodiligentoflatebetweenDodd’ssermonandKelly’sprologue,Dr。Johnsonreplied,"Why,sir,whentheycometomewithadeadstaymakerandadyingparson,whatcanamando?"HeSAID,however,that"hehatedtogiveawayliteraryperformances,oreventosellthemtoocheaply。Thenextgenerationshallnotaccuseme,"addedhe,"ofbeatingdownthepriceofliterature。Onehates,besides,evertogivethatwhichonehasbeenaccustomedtosell。Wouldnotyou,sir,"
  turningtoMr。Thrale,"rathergiveawaymoneythanporter?"
  Mr。Johnsonhadnever,byhisownaccount,beenaclosestudent,andusedtoadviseyoungpeoplenevertobewithoutabookintheirpocket,tobereadatbye—timeswhentheyhadnothingelsetodo。"Ithasbeenbythatmeans,"saidhetoaboyatourhouseoneday,"thatallmyknowledgehasbeengained,exceptwhatIhavepickedupbyrunningabouttheworldwithmywitsreadytoobserve,andmytonguereadytotalk。Amanisseldominahumourtounlockhisbookcase,sethisdeskinorder,andbetakehimselftoseriousstudy;butaretentivememorywilldosomething,andafellowshallhavestrangecreditgivenhim,ifhecanbutrecollectstrikingpassagesfromdifferentbooks,keeptheauthorsseparateinhishead,andbringhisstockofknowledgeartfullyintoplay。Howelse,"addedhe,"dothegamestersmanagewhentheyplayformoremoneythantheyareworth?"
  HisDictionary,however,couldnot,onewouldthink,havebeenwrittenbyrunningupanddown;buthereallydidnotconsideritasagreatperformance;andusedtosay"thathemighthavedoneiteasilyintwoyearshadnothishealthreceivedseveralshocksduringthetime。"
  WhenMr。Thrale,inconsequenceofthisdeclaration,teasedhimintheyear1768togiveaneweditionofit,because,saidhe,therearefourorfivegrossfaults:"Alas!sir,"repliedJohnson,"therearefourorfivehundredfaultsinsteadoffourorfive;butyoudonotconsiderthatitwouldtakemeupthreewholemonths’labour,andwhenthetimewasexpiredtheworkwouldnotbedone。"Whenthebooksellerssethimaboutit,however,someyearsafter,hewentcheerfullytothebusiness,saidhewaswellpaid,andthattheydeservedtohaveitdonecarefully。Hisreplytothepersonwhocomplimentedhimonitscomingoutfirst,mentioningtheillsuccessoftheFrenchinasimilarattempt,iswellknown,and,Itrust,hasbeenoftenrecorded。"Why,whatwouldyouexpect,dearsir,"saidhe,"fromfellowsthateatfrogs?"Ihave,however,oftenthoughtDr。JohnsonmorefreethanprudentinprofessingsoloudlyhislittleskillintheGreeklanguage;forthoughheconsidereditasaproofofanarrowmindtobetoocarefulofliteraryreputation,yetnomancouldbemoreenragedthanheifanenemy,takingadvantageofthisconfession,twittedhimwithhisignorance;andIrememberwhentheKingofDenmarkwasinEnglandoneofhisnoblemenwasbroughtbyMr。ColmantoseeDr。Johnsonatourcountryhouse,andhavingheard,hesaid,thathewasnotfamousforGreekliterature,attackedhimontheweakside,politelyaddingthathechosethatconversationonpurposetofavourhimself。OurDoctor,however,displayedsocopious,socompendiousaknowledgeofauthors,books,andeverybranchoflearninginthatlanguage,thatthegentlemanappearedastonished。Whenhewasgonehome,saysJohnson,"Now,forallthistriumphImaythankThrale’sXenophonhere,asIthink,exceptingthatONE,IhavenotlookedinaGreekbookthesetenyears;butseewhathastemydearfriendswereallin,"continuedhe,"totellthispoorinnocentforeignerthatIknownothingofGreek!Oh,no,heknowsnothingofGreek!"withaloudburstoflaughing。
  WhenDaviesprintedthe"FugitivePieces"withouthisknowledgeorconsent,"How,"saidI,"wouldPopehaveraved,hadhebeenservedso!""Weshouldnever,"repliedhe,"haveheardthelaston’t,tobesure;butthenPopewasanarrowman。Iwill,however,"addedhe,"stormandblusterMYSELFalittlethistime,"sowenttoLondoninallthewrathhecouldmusterup。