Atlast,andjustbeforethedawn,agreenrocketshotupfromthefarsideofthevalleyofBersund,attheheadofthegorge,toshowthattheGoorkhaswereinposition。Aredlightfromtheinfantryatleftandrightansweredit,andthecavalryburntawhiteflare。Afghansinwinterarelatesleepers,anditwasnottillfulldaythattheGullaKuttaMullah’smenbegantostragglefromtheirhuts,rubbingtheireyes。Theysawmeningreen,andred,andbrownuniforms,leaningontheirarms,neatlyarrangedallroundthecraterofthevillageofBersund,inacordonthatnotevenawolfcouldhavebroken。Theyrubbedtheireyesthemorewhenapink-facedyoungman,whowasnotevenintheArmy,butrepresentedthePoliticalDepartment,trippeddownthehillsidewithtwoorderlies,rappedatthedooroftheGullaKuttaMullah’shouse,andtoldhimquietlytostepoutandbetiedupforsafetransport。Thatsameyoungmanpassedonthroughthehuts,tappinghereonecateranandthereanotherlightlywithhiscane;andaseachwaspointedout,sohewastiedup,staringhopelesslyatthecrownedheightsaroundwheretheEnglishsoldierslookeddownwithincuriouseyes。OnlytheMullahtriedtocarryitoffwithcursesandhighwords,tillasoldierwhowastyinghishandssaid:-
"Noneo’yourlip!Whydidn’tyoucomeoutwhenyouwasordered,insteado’keepingusawakeallnight?You’renobetterthanmyownbarrack-sweeper,youwhite-’eadedoldpolyanthus!Kimup!"
HalfanhourlaterthetroopshadgoneawaywiththeMullahandhisthirteenfriends。Thedazedvillagerswerelookingruefullyatapileofbrokenmusketsandsnappedswords,andwonderinghowintheworldtheyhadcomesotomiscalculatetheforbearanceoftheIndianGovernment。
Itwasaveryneatlittleaffair,neatlycarriedout,andthemenconcernedwereunofficiallythankedfortheirservices。
Yetitseemstomethatmuchcreditisalsoduetoanotherregimentwhosenamedidnotappearinbrigadeorders,andwhoseveryexistenceisindangerofbeingforgotten。
THEDRUMSOFTHEFOREANDAFT
IntheArmyListtheystillstandas"TheForeandFitPrincessHohenzollern-Sigmaringen-Anspach’sMerther-TydfilshireOwnRoyalLoyalLightInfantry,RegimentalDistrict329A,"buttheArmythroughallitsbarracksandcanteensknowsthemnowasthe"ForeandAft。"Theymayintimedosomethingthatshallmaketheirnewtitlehonourable,butatpresenttheyarebitterlyashamed,andthemanwhocallsthem"ForeandAft"doessoattheriskoftheheadwhichisonhisshoulders。
TwowordsbreathedintothestablesofacertainCavalryRegimentwillbringthemenoutintothestreetswithbeltsandmopsandbadlanguage;butawhisperof"ForeandAft"willbringoutthisregimentwithrifles。
Theironeexcuseisthattheycameagainanddidtheirbesttofinishthejobinstyle。Butforatimealltheirworldknowsthattheywereopenlybeaten,whipped,dumb-cowed,shakingandafraid。
Themenknowit;theirofficersknowit;theHorseGuardsknowit,andwhenthenextwarcomestheenemywillknowitalso。TherearetwoorthreeregimentsoftheLinethathaveablackmarkagainsttheirnameswhichtheywillthenwipeout;anditwillbeexcessivelyinconvenientforthetroopsuponwhomtheydotheirwiping。
ThecourageoftheBritishsoldierisofficiallysupposedtobeaboveproof,and,asageneralrule,itisso。Theexceptionsaredecentlyshovelledoutofsight,onlytobereferredtointhefreshestofunguardedtalkthatoccasionallyswampsaMess-tableatmidnight。Thenonehearsstrangeandhorriblestoriesofmennotfollowingtheirofficers,ofordersbeinggivenbythosewhohadnorighttogivethem,andofdisgracethat,butforthestandingluckoftheBritishArmy,mighthaveendedinbrilliantdisaster。Theseareunpleasantstoriestolistento,andtheMessestellthemundertheirbreath,sittingbythebigwoodfires,andtheyoungofficerbowshisheadandthinkstohimself,pleaseGod,hismenshallneverbehaveunhandily。
TheBritishsoldierisnotaltogethertobeblamedforoccasionallapses;butthisverdictheshouldnotknow。AmoderatelyintelligentGeneralwillwastesixmonthsinmasteringthecraftoftheparticularwarthathemaybewaging;aColonelmayutterlymisunderstandthecapacityofhisregimentforthreemonthsafterithastakenthefield,andevenaCompanyCommandermayerrandbedeceivedastothetemperandtemperamentofhisownhandful:
whereforethesoldier,andthesoldierofto-daymoreparticularly,shouldnotbeblamedforfa1lingback。Heshouldbeshotorhangedafterwards-toencouragetheothers;butheshouldnotbevilifiedinnewspapers,forthatiswantoftactandwasteofspace。
Hehas,letussay,beenintheserviceoftheEmpressfor,perhaps,fouryears。Hewillleaveinanothertwoyears。Hehasnoinheritedmorals,andfouryearsarenotsufficienttodrivetoughnessintohisfibre,ortoteachhimhowholyathingishisRegiment。Hewantstodrink,hewantstoenjoyhimself-inIndiahewantstosavemoney-andhedoesnotintheleastlikegettinghurt。Hehasreceivedjustsufficienteducationtomakehimunderstandhalfthepurportoftheordershereceives,andtospeculateonthenatureofclean,incised,andshatteringwounds。
Thus,ifheistoldtodeployunderfirepreparatorytoanattack,heknowsthatherunsaverygreatriskofbeingkilledwhileheisdeploying,andsuspectsthatheisbeingthrownawaytogaintenminutes’time。Hemayeitherdeploywithdesperateswiftness,orhemayshuffle,orbunch,orbreak,accordingtothedisciplineunderwhichhehaslainforfouryears。
Armedwithimperfectknowledge,cursedwiththerudimentsofanimagination,hamperedbytheintenseselfishnessofthelowerclasses,andunsupportedbyanyregimentalassociations,thisyoungmanissuddenlyintroducedtoanenemywhoineasternlandsisalwaysugly,generallytallandhairy,andfrequentlynoisy。Ifhelookstotherightandtheleftandseesoldsoldiers-menoftwelveyears’service,who,heknows,knowwhattheyareabout-takingacharge,rush,ordemonstrationwithoutembarrassment,heisconsoledandapplieshisshouldertothebuttofhisriflewithastoutheart。Hispeaceisthegreaterifhehearsasenior,whohastaughthimhissoldieringandbrokenhisheadonoccasion,whispering:"They’llshoutandcarryonlikethisforfiveminutes。Thenthey’llrushin,andthenwe’vegot’embytheshorthairs!"
But,ontheotherhand,ifheseesonlymenofhisowntermofservice,turningwhiteandplayingwiththeirtriggersandsaying:
"WhattheHell’supnow?"whiletheCompanyCommandersaresweatingintotheirsword-hiltsandshouting:"Frontrank,fixbayonets。Steadythere-steady!Sightforthreehundred-no,forfive!Liedown,all!Steady!Frontrankkneel!"andsoforth,hebecomesunhappy,andgrowsacutelymiserablewhenhehearsacomradeturnoverwiththerattleoffire-ironsfallingintothefender,andthegruntofapole-axedox。Ifhecanbemovedaboutalittleandallowedtowatchtheeffectofhisownfireontheenemyhefeelsmerrier,andmaybethenworkeduptotheblindpassionoffighting,whichis,contrarytogeneralbelief,controlledbyachillyDevilandshakesmenlikeague。Ifheisnotmovedabout,andbeginstofeelcoldatthepitofthestomach,andinthatcrisisisbadlymauledandhearsordersthatwerenevergiven,hewillbreak,andhewillbreakbadly,andofallthingsunderthelightoftheSunthereisnothingmoreterriblethanabrokenBritishregiment。Whentheworstcomestotheworstandthepanicisreallyepidemic,themenmustbee’enletgo,andtheCompanyCommandershadbetterescapetotheenemyandstaythereforsafety’ssake。Iftheycanbemadetocomeagaintheyarenotpleasantmentomeet;becausetheywillnotbreaktwice。
Aboutthirtyyearsfromthisdate,whenwehavesucceededinhalf-
educatingeverythingthatwearstrousers,ourArmywillbeabeautifullyunreliablemachine。Itwillknowtoomuchanditwilldotoolittle。Laterstill,whenallmenareatthementalleveloftheofficerofto-day,itwillsweeptheearth。Speakingroughly,youmustemployeitherblackguardsorgentlemen,or,bestofall,blackguardscommandedbygentlemen,todobutcher’sworkwithefficiencyanddespatch。Theidealsoldiershould,ofcourse,thinkforhimself-the"Pocket-book"saysso。Unfortunately,toattainthisvirtue,hehastopassthroughthephaseofthinkingofhimself,andthatismisdirectedgenius。Ablackguardmaybeslowtothinkforhimself,butheisgenuinelyanxioustokill,andalittlepunishmentteacheshimhowtoguardhisownskinandperforateanother’s。ApowerfullyprayerfulHighlandRegiment,officeredbyrankPresbyterians,is,perhaps,onedegreemoreterribleinactionthanahard-bittenthousandofirresponsibleIrishruffiansledbymostimproperyoungunbelievers。Butthesethingsprovetherule-whichisthatthemidwaymenarenottobetrustedalone。Theyhaveideasaboutthevalueoflifeandanupbringingthathasnottaughtthemtogoonandtakethechances。
Theyarecarefullyunprovidedwithabackingofcomradeswhohavebeenshotover,anduntilthatbackingisre-introduced,asagreatmanyRegimentalCommandersintenditshallbe,theyaremoreliabletodisgracethemselvesthanthesizeoftheEmpireorthedignityoftheArmyallows。Theirofficersareasgoodasgoodcanbe,becausetheirtrainingbeginsearly,andGodhasarrangedthataclean-runyouthoftheBritishmiddleclassesshall,inthematterofbackbone,brains,andbowels,surpassallotheryouths。
Forthisreasonachildofeighteenwillstandup,doingnothing,withatinswordinhishandandjoyinhisheartuntilheisdropped。Ifhedies,hedieslikeagentleman。Ifhelives,hewritesHomethathehasbeen"potted,""sniped,""chipped,"or"cutover,"andsitsdowntobesiegeGovernmentforawound-
gratuityuntilthenextlittlewarbreaksout,whenheperjureshimselfbeforeaMedicalBoard,blarneyshisColonel,burnsincenseroundhisAdjutant,andisallowedtogototheFrontoncemore。
WhichhomilybringsmedirectlytoabraceofthemostfinishedlittlefiendsthateverbangeddrumortootledfifeintheBandofaBritishRegiment。Theyendedtheirsinfulcareerbyopenandflagrantmutinyandwereshotforit。TheirnameswereJakinandLew-PiggyLewandtheywerebold,baddrummer-boys,bothofthemfrequentlybirchedbytheDrum-MajoroftheForeandAft-
Jakinwasastuntedchildoffourteen,andLewwasaboutthesameage。Whennotlookedafter,theysmokedanddrank。TheysworehabituallyafterthemanneroftheBarrack-room,whichiscoldswearingandcomesfrombetweenclenchedteeth,andtheyfoughtreligiouslyonceaweek。JakinhadsprungfromsomeLondongutter,andmayormaynothavepassedthroughDr。Barnardo’shandserehearrivedatthedignityofdrummer-boy。LewcouldremembernothingexcepttheRegimentandthedelightoflisteningtotheBandfromhisearliestyears。Hehidsomewhereinhisgrimylittlesoulagenuineloveformusic,andwasmostmistakenlyfurnishedwiththeheadofacherub:insomuchthatbeautifulladieswhowatchedtheRegimentinchurchwerewonttospeakofhimasa"darling。"Theyneverheardhisvitrioliccommentsontheirmannersandmorals,ashewalkedbacktobarrackswiththeBandandmaturedfreshcausesofoffenceagainstJakin。
Theotherdrummer-boyshatedbothladsonaccountoftheirillogicalconduct。JakinmightbepoundingLew,orLewmightberubbingJakin’sheadinthedirt,butanyattemptataggressiononthepartofanoutsiderwasmetbythecombinedforcesofLewandJakin;andtheconsequenceswerepainful。TheboysweretheIshmaelsofthecorps,butwealthyIshmaels,fortheysoldbattlesinalternateweeksforthesportofthebarrackswhentheywerenotpittedagainstotherboys;andthusamassedmoney。
Onthisparticulardaytherewasdissensioninthecamp。Theyhadjustbeenconvictedafreshofsmoking,whichisbadforlittleboyswhouseplug-tobacco,andLew’scontentionwasthatJakinhad"stunkso’orridbadfromkeepin’thepipeinpocket,"thatheandhealonewasresponsibleforthebirchingtheywerebothtinglingunder。
"ItellyouI’idthepipebacko’barracks,"saidJakinpacifically。
"You’reabloomin’liar,"saidLewwithoutheat。
"You’reabloomin’littlebarstard,"saidJakin,strongintheknowledgethathisownancestrywasunknown。
Nowthereisonewordintheextendedvocabularyofbarrack-roomabusethatcannotpasswithoutcomment。Youmaycallamanathiefandrisknothing。Youmayevencallhimacowardwithoutfindingmorethanabootwhizpastyourear,butyoumustnotcallamanabastardunlessyouarepreparedtoproveitonhisfrontteeth。
"Youmightha’kep’thattillIwasn’tsosore,"saidLewsorrowfully,dodgingroundJakin’sguard。
"I’llmakeyousorer,"saidJakingenially,andgothomeonLew’salabasterforehead。Allwouldhavegonewellandthisstory,asthebookssay,wouldneverhavebeenwritten,hadnothisevilfatepromptedtheBazar-Sergeant’sson,along,employlessmanoffive-and-twenty,toputinanappearanceafterthefirstround。Hewaseternallyinneedofmoney,andknewthattheboyshadsilver。
"Fightingagain,"saidhe。"I’llreportyoutomyfather,andhe’llreportyoutotheColour-Sergeant。"
"What’sthattoyou?"saidJakinwithanunpleasantdilationofthenostrils。
"Oh!nothingtome。You’llgetintotrouble,andyou’vebeenuptoooftentoaffordthat。"
"WhattheHelldoyouknowaboutwhatwe’vedone?"askedLewtheSeraph。"Youaren’tintheArmy,youlousy,cadgingcivilian。"
Heclosedinontheman’sleftflank。
"Jes’’causeyoufindtwogentlemensettlin’theirdiff’renceswiththeirfistesyoustickinyouruglynosewhereyouaren’twanted。Run’ometoyour’arf-casteslutofaMa-orwe’llgiveyouwhat-for,"saidJakin。
Themanattemptedreprisalsbyknockingtheboys’headstogether。
TheschemewouldhavesucceededhadnotJakinpunchedhimvehementlyinthestomach,orhadLewrefrainedfromkickinghisshins。Theyfoughttogether,bleedingandbreathless,forhalfanhour,and,afterheavypunishment,triumphantlypulleddowntheiropponentasterrierspulldownajackal。
"Now,"gaspedJakin,"I’llgiveyouwhat-for。"Heproceededtopoundtheman’sfeatureswhileLewstampedontheoutlyingportionsofhisanatomy。Chivalryisnotastrongpointinthecompositionoftheaveragedrummer-boy。Hefights,asdohisbetters,tomakehismark。
Ghastlywastheruinthatescaped,andawfulwasthewrathoftheBazar-Sergeant。AwfultoowasthesceneinOrderly-roomwhenthetworeprobatesappearedtoanswerthechargeofhalf-murderinga"civilian。"TheBazar-Sergeantthirstedforacriminalaction,andhissonlied。Theboysstoodtoattentionwhiletheblackcloudsofevidenceaccumulated。
"YoulittledevilsaremoretroublethantherestoftheRegimentputtogether,"saidtheColonelangrily。"Onemightaswelladmonishthistledown,andIcan’twellputyouincellsorunderstoppages。Youmustbebirchedagain。"
"Begy’pardon,Sir。Can’twesaynothin’inourowndefence,Sir?"shrilledJakin。
"Hey!What?Areyougoingtoarguewithme?"saidtheColonel。
"No,Sir,"saidLew。"Butifamancometoyou,Sir,andsaidhewasgoingtoreportyou,Sir,for’avingabitofaturn-upwithafriend,Sir,an’wantedtogetmoneyouto’you,Sir-"
TheOrderly-roomexplodedinaroaroflaughter。"Well?"saidtheColonel。
"Thatwaswhatthatmeaslyjarnwartheredid,Sir,and’e’d’a’
doneit,Sir,ifwe’adn’tprevented’im。Wedidn’t’it’immuch,Sir。’E’adn’tnomannero’righttointerferewithus,Sir。I
don’tmindbein’birchedbytheDrum-Major,Sir,noryetreportedbyanyCorp’ral,butI’m-butIdon’tthinkit’sfair,Sir,foraciviliantocomean’talkoveramanintheArmy。"
AsecondshoutoflaughtershooktheOrderly-room,buttheColonelwasgrave。
"Whatsortofcharactershavetheseboys?"heaskedoftheRegimentalSergeant-Major。
"Accordin’totheBandmaster,Sir,"returnedthatreveredofficial-theonlysoulintheRegimentwhomtheboysfeared-"theydoeverythingbutlie,Sir。"
"Isitlikewe’dgoforthatmanforfun,Sir?"saidLew,pointingtotheplaintiff。
"Oh,admonished-admonished!"saidtheColoneltestily,andwhentheboyshadgonehereadtheBazar-Sergeant’ssonalectureonthesinofunprofitablemeddling,andgaveordersthattheBandmastershouldkeeptheDrumsinbetterdiscipline。
"Ifeitherofyoucometopracticeagainwithsomuchasascratchonyourtwouglylittlefaces,"thunderedtheBandmaster,"I’lltelltheDrum-Majortotaketheskinoffyourbacks。Understandthat,youyoungdevils。"
ThenherepentedofhisspeechforjustthelengthoftimethatLew,lookinglikeaseraphinredworstedembellishments,tooktheplaceofoneofthetrumpets-inhospital-andrenderedtheechoofabattle-piece。Lewcertainlywasamusician,andhadofteninhismoreexaltedmomentsexpressedayearningtomastereveryinstrumentoftheBand。
"There’snothingtopreventyourbecomingaBandmaster,Lew,"saidtheBandmaster,whohadcomposedwaltzesofhisown,andworkeddayandnightintheinterestsoftheBand。
"Whatdidhesay?"demandedJakinafterpractice。
"SaidImightbeabloomin’Bandmaster,an’beaskedinto’aveaglasso’sherrywineonMess-nights。"
"Ho!’Saidyoumightbeabloomin’noncombatant,did’e!That’sjustaboutwot’ewouldsay。WhenI’veputinmyboy’sserviceit’sabloomin’shamethatdoesn’tcountforpension-I’lltakeonasaprivit。ThenI’llbeaLanceinayear-knowin’whatI
knowabouttheinsan’outso’things。InthreeyearsI’llbeabloomin’Sergeant。Iwon’tmarrythen,notI!I’ll’oldonandlearntheorf’cers’waysan’applyforexchangeintoareg’mentthatdoesn’tknowallaboutme。ThenI’llbeabloomin’orf’cer。
ThenI’llaskyouto’aveaglasso’sherrywine,MisterLew,an’
you’llbloomin’well’avetostayinthehanty-roomwhiletheMess-Sergeantbringsittoyourdirty’ands。"-
"S’poseI’mgoingtobeaBandmaster?NotI,quite。I’llbeaorf’certoo。There’snothin’liketakin’toathingan’stickin’
toit,theSchoolmastersays。TheReg’mentdon’tgo’omeforanothersevenyears。I’llbeaLancethenornearto。"
Thustheboysdiscussedtheirfutures,andconductedthemselvespiouslyforaweek。Thatistosay,LewstartedaflirtationwiththeColour-Sergeant’sdaughter,agedthirteen-"not,"asheexplainedtoJakin,"withanyintentiono’matrimony,butbywayo’keepin’my’andin。"Andtheblack-hairedCrisDelighanenjoyedthatflirtationmorethanpreviousones,andtheotherdrummer-boysragedfuriouslytogether,andJakinpreachedsermonsonthedangersofbein’tangledalongo’petticoats。"
ButneitherlovenorvirtuewouldhaveheldLewlonginthepathsofproprietyhadnottherumourgoneabroadthattheRegimentwastobesentonactiveservice,totakepartinawarwhich,forthesakeofbrevity,wewillcall"TheWaroftheLostTribes。"
ThebarrackshadtherumouralmostbeforetheMess-room,andofalltheninehundredmeninbarracks,nottenhadseenashotfiredinanger。TheColonelhad,twentyyearsago,assistedataFrontierexpedition;oneoftheMajorshadseenserviceattheCape;aconfirmeddeserterinECompanyhadhelpedtoclearstreetsinIreland;butthatwasall。TheRegimenthadbeenputbyformanyyears。Theoverwhelmingmassofitsrankandfilehadfromthreetofouryears’service;thenon-commissionedofficerswereunderthirtyyearsold;andmenandsergeantsalikehadforgottentospeakofthestorieswritteninbriefupontheColours-theNewColoursthathadbeenformallyblessedbyanArchbishopinEnglanderetheRegimentcameaway。TheywantedtogototheFront-theywereenthusiasticallyanxioustogo-buttheyhadnoknowledgeofwhatwarmeant,andtherewasnonetotellthem。Theywereaneducatedregiment,thepercentageofschool-certificatesintheirrankswashigh,andmostofthemencoulddomorethanreadandwrite。Theyhadbeenrecruitedinloyalobservanceoftheterritorialidea;buttheythemselveshadnonotionofthatidea。Theyweremadeupofdraftsfromanover-
populatedmanufacturingdistrict。Thesystemhadputfleshandmuscleupontheirsmallbones,butitcouldnotputheartintothesonsofthosewhoforgenerationshaddoneovermuchworkforoverscantypay,hadsweatedindrying-rooms,stoopedoverlooms,coughedamongwhite-lead,andshiveredonlime-barges。ThemenhadfoundfoodandrestintheArmy,andnowtheyweregoingtofight"niggers"-peoplewhoranawayifyoushookastickatthem。
Whereforetheycheeredlustilywhentherumourran,andtheshrewd,clerklynon-commissionedofficersspeculatedonthechancesofbattaandofsavingtheirpay。AtHeadquartersmensaid:"TheForeandFithaveneverbeenunderfirewithinthelastgeneration。Letus,therefore,breakthemineasilybysettingthemtoguardlinesofcommunication。"AndthiswouldhavebeendonebutforthefactthatBritishRegimentswerewanted-badlywanted-attheFront,andthereweredoubtfulNativeRegimentsthatcouldfilltheminorduties。"Brigade’emwithtwostrongRegiments,"saidHeadquarters。"Theymaybeknockedaboutabit,butthey’lllearntheirbusinessbeforetheycomethrough。Nothinglikeanight-alarmandalittlecutting-upofstragglerstomakeaRegimentsmartinthefield。Waittillthey’vehadhalfadozensentries’throatscut。"
TheColonelwrotewithdelightthatthetemperofhismenwasexcellent,thattheRegimentwasallthatcouldbewished,andassoundasabell。TheMajorssmiledwithasoberjoy,andthesubalternswaltzedinpairsdowntheMess-roomafterdinner,andnearlyshotthemselvesatrevolver-practice。ButtherewasconsternationintheheartsofJakinandLew。WhatwastobedonewiththeDrums?WouldtheBandgototheFront?HowmanyoftheDrumswouldaccompanytheRegiment?
Theytookcounseltogether,sittinginatreeandsmoking。
"It’smorethanabloomin’toss-upthey’llleaveusbe’indattheDepotwiththewomen。You’lllikethat,"saidJakinsarcastically。
"Causeo’Cris,y’mean?Wot’sawoman,ora’olebloomin’depoto’women,’longsideo’thechanstoffield-service?YouknowI’maskeenongoin’asyou,"saidLew。
"WishIwasabloomin’bugler,"saidJakinsadly。"They’lltakeTomKiddalong,thatIcanplasterawallwith,an’likeasnottheywon’ttakeus。"
"Thenlet’sgoan’makeTomKiddsobloomin’sick’ecan’tbuglenomore。You’old’is’andsan’I’llkickhim,"saidLew,wrigglingonthebranch。
"Thatain’tnogoodneither。Weain’tthesorto’characterstopresoomonourrep’tations-they’rebad。IftheyhavetheBandattheDepotwedon’tgo,andnoerrorthere。IftheytaketheBandwemaygetcastformedicalunfitness。Areyoumedicalfit,Piggy?"saidJakin,diggingLewintheribswithforce。
"Yus,"saidLewwithanoath。"TheDoctorsaysyour’eart’sweakthroughsmokin’onanemptystummick。Throwachestan’I’lltryyer。"
Jakinthrewouthischest,whichLewsmotewithallhismight。
Jakinturnedverypale,gasped,crowed,screweduphiseyes,andsaid-"That’sallright。"
"You’lldo,"saidLew。"I’ve’eardo’mendyingwhenyou’it’emfaironthebreastbone。"
"Don’tbringusnonearergoin’,though,"saidJakin。"Doyouknowwherewe’reordered?"
"Gawdknows,an’’Ewon’tsplitonapal。SomewheresuptotheFronttokillPaythans-hairybigbeggarsthatturnyouinsideoutiftheyget’oldo’you。Theysaytheirwomenaregood-
looking,too。"
"Anyloot?"askedtheabandonedJakin。
"Notabloomin’anna,theysay,unlessyoudigupthegroundan’
seewhattheniggers’ave’id。They’reapoorlot。"Jakinstooduprightonthebranchandgazedacrosstheplain。
"Lew,"saidhe,"there’stheColonelcoming。’Colonel’sagoodoldbeggar。Let’sgoan’talkto’im。"
Lewnearlyfelloutofthetreeattheaudacityofthesuggestion。
LikeJakinhefearednotGod,neitherregardedheMan,buttherearelimitseventotheaudacityofadrummer-boy,andtospeaktoaColonelwas-
ButJakinhadsliddownthetrunkanddoubledinthedirectionoftheColonel。ThatofficerwaswalkingwrappedinthoughtandvisionsofaC。B。yes,evenaK。C。B。,forhadhenotatcommandoneofthebestRegimentsoftheLine-theForeandFit?Andhewasawareoftwosmallboyschargingdownuponhim。Oncebeforeithadbeensolemnlyreportedtohimthat"theDrumswereinastateofmutiny,"JakinandLewbeingtheringleaders。Thislookedlikeanorganisedconspiracy-
Theboyshaltedattwentyyards,walkedtotheregulationfourpaces,andsalutedtogether,eachaswellset-upasaramrodandlittletaller。
TheColonelwasinagenialmood;theboysappearedveryforlornandunprotectedonthedesolateplain,andoneofthemwashandsome。
"Well!"saidtheColonel,recognisingthem。"Areyougoingtopullmedownintheopen?I’msureIneverinterferewithyou,eventhough"-hesniffedsuspiciously-"youhavebeensmoking。"
Itwastimetostrikewhiletheironwashot。Theirheartsbeattumultuously。
"Begy’pardon,Sir,"beganJakin。"TheReg’ment’sorderedonactiveservice,Sir?"
"SoIbelieve,"saidtheColonelcourteously。
"IstheBandgoin’,Sir?"saidbothtogether。Then,withoutpause,"We’regoin’,Sir,ain’twe?"
"You!"saidtheColonel,steppingbackthemorefullytotakeinthetwosmallfigures。"You!You’ddieinthefirstmarch。"
"No,wewouldn’t,Sir。WecanmarchwiththeReg’mentanywheres-
p’radean’anywhereelse,"saidJakin。
"IfTomKiddgoes’e’llshutuplikeaclasp-knife,"saidLew。
"Tom’asvery-closeveinsinboth’islegs,Sir。"
"Veryhowmuch?"
"Very-closeveins,Sir。That’swhytheyswellsafterlongp’rade,Sir。If’ecango,wecango,Sir。"
AgaintheColonellookedatthemlongandintently。
"Yes,theBandisgoing,"hesaidasgravelyasthoughhehadbeenaddressingabrotherofficer。"Haveyouanyparents,eitherofyoutwo?"
"No,Sir,"rejoicinglyfromLewandJakin。"We’rebothorphans,Sir。There’snoonetobeconsideredofonouraccount,Sir。"
"Youpoorlittlesprats,andyouwanttogouptotheFrontwiththeRegiment,doyou?Why?"
"I’veworetheQueen’sUniformfortwoyears,"saidJakin。"It’svery’ard,Sir,thatamandon’tgetnorecompensefordoin’of’isdooty,Sir。"
"An’-an’ifIdon’tgo,Sir,"interruptedLew,"theBandmaster’esays’e’llcatchan’makeabloo-ablessedmusiciano’me,Sir。
BeforeI’veseenanyservice,Sir。"
TheColonelmadenoanswerforalongtime。Thenhesaidquietly:
"Ifyou’repassedbytheDoctorIdaresayyoucango。Ishouldn’tsmokeifIwereyou。"
Theboyssalutedanddisappeared。TheColonelwalkedhomeandtoldthestorytohiswife,whonearlycriedoverit。TheColonelwaswellpleased。Ifthatwasthetemperofthechildren,whatwouldnotthemendo?
JakinandLewenteredtheboys’barrack-roomwithgreatstateliness,andrefusedtoholdanyconversationwiththeircomradesforatleasttenminutes。Then,burstingwithpride,Jakindrawled:"I’vebinintervooin’theColonel。GoodoldbeggaristheColonel。SaysIto’im,’Colonel,’saysI,’letmegototheFront,alongo’theReg’ment-’TotheFrontyoushallgo,’
says’e,’an’Ionlywishtherewasmorelikeyouamongthedirtylittledevilsthatbangthebloomin’drums。’Kidd,ifyouthrowyour’courtrementsatmefortellin’youthetruthtoyourownadvantage,yourlegs’llswell。"
NonethelesstherewasaBattle-Royalinthebarrack-room,fortheboyswereconsumedwithenvyandhate,andneitherJakinnorLewbehavedinconciliatorywise。
"I’mgoin’outtosayadootomygirl,"saidLew,tocaptheclimax。"Don’tnoneo’youtouchmykitbecauseit’swantedforactiveservice;mebein’speciallyinvitedtogobytheColonel。"
HestrolledforthandwhistledintheclumpoftreesatthebackoftheMarriedQuarterstillCriscametohim,and,thepreliminarykissesbeinggivenandtaken,Lewbegantoexplainthesituation。
"I’mgoin’totheFrontwiththeReg’ment,"hesaidvaliantly。
"Piggy,you’realittleliar,"saidCris,butherheartmisgaveher,forLewwasnotinthehabitoflying。
"Liaryourself,Cris,"saidLew,slippinganarmroundher。"I’mgoin’。WhentheReg’mentmarchesoutyou’llseemewith’em,allgalliantandgay。Giveusanotherkiss,Cris,onthestrengthofit。"
"Ifyou’don’ya-stayedattheDepot-whereyououghttoha’bin-youcouldgetasmanyof’emas-asyoudamplease,"whimperedCris,puttinguphermouth。
"It’s’ard,Cris。Igrantyouit’s’ard,Butwhat’samantodo?
IfI’da-stayedattheDepot,youwouldn’tthinkanythingofme。"
"Likeasnot,butI’d’aveyouwithme,Piggy。An’allthethinkin’intheworldisn’tlikekissin’。"
"An’allthekissin’intheworldisn’tlike’avin’amedaltowearonthefronto’yourcoat。"
"Youwon’tgetnomedal。"
"Oh,yus,Ishallthough。Mean’Jakinaretheonlyacting-
drummersthat’llbetookalong。Alltherestisfullmen,an’
we’llgetourmedalswiththem。"
"Theymightha’takenanybodybutyou,Piggy。You’llgetkilled-
you’resoventuresome。Staywithme,Piggydarlin’,downattheDepot,an’I’llloveyoutrue,forever。"
"Ain’tyougoin’todothatnow,Cris?Yousaidyouwas。"
"0’courseIam,butth’other’smorecomfortable。Waittillyou’vegrowedabit,Piggy。Youaren’tnotallerthanmenow。"
"I’vebinintheArmyfortwoyears,an’I’mnotgoin’togetoutofachansto’seein’service,an’don’tyoutrytomakemedoso。
I’llcomeback,Cris,an’whenItakeonasamanI’llmarryyou-
marryyouwhenI’maLance。"
"Promise,Piggy。"
LewreflectedonthefutureasarrangedbyJakinashorttimepreviously,butCris’smouthwasveryneartohisown。
"Ipromise,s’elpmeGawd!"saidhe。
Crisslidanarmroundhisneck。
"Iwon’t’oldyoubacknomore,Piggy。Goawayan’getyourmedal,an’I’llmakeyouanewbutton-bagasniceasIknowhow,"shewhispered。
"Putsomeo’your’airintoit,Cris,an’I’llkeepitinmypocketsolong’sI’malive。"
ThenCrisweptanew,andtheinterviewended。Publicfeelingamongthedrummer-boysrosetofeverpitch,andthelivesofJakinandLewbecameunenviable。Notonlyhadtheybeenpermittedtoenlisttwoyearsbeforetheregulationboy’sage-fourteen-but,byvirtue,itseemed,oftheirextremeyouth,theywereallowedtogototheFront-whichthinghadnothappenedtoacting-drummerswithintheknowledgeofboy。TheBandwhichwastoaccompanytheRegimenthadbeencutdowntotheregulationtwentymen,thesurplusreturningtotheranks。JakinandLewwereattachedtotheBandassupernumeraries,thoughtheywouldmuchhavepreferredbeingcompanybuglers。
"Don’tmattermuch,"saidJakinafterthemedicalinspection。"Bethankfulthatwe’re’lowedtogoatall。TheDoctor’esaidthatifwecouldstandwhatwetookfromtheBazar-Sergeant’ssonwe’dstandprettynighanything。"
"Whichwewill,"saidLew,lookingtenderlyattheraggedandill-
madehousewifethatCrishadgivenhim,withalockofherhairworkedintoasprawling"L"uponthecover。
"ItwasthebestIcould,"shesobbed。"Iwouldn’tletmothernortheSergeant’stailor’elpme。Keepitalways,Piggy,an’rememberIloveyoutrue。"
Theymarchedtotherailwaystation,ninehundredandsixtystrong,andeverysoulincantonmentsturnedouttoseethemgo。
ThedrummersgnashedtheirteethatJakinandLewmarchingwiththeBand,themarriedwomenweptupontheplatform,andtheRegimentcheereditsnobleselfblackintheface。
"Anicelevellot,"saidtheColoneltotheSecond-in-Commandastheywatchedthefirstfourcompaniesentraining。
"Fittodoanything,"saidtheSecond-in-Commandenthusiastically。
"Butitseemstomethey’reathoughttooyoungandtenderfortheworkinhand。It’sbittercoldupattheFrontnow。"
"They’resoundenough,"saidtheColonel。"Wemusttakeourchanceofsickcasualties。"
Sotheywentnorthward,evernorthward,pastdrovesanddrovesofcamels,armiesofcamp-followers,andlegionsofladenmules,thethrongthickeningdaybyday,tillwithashriekthetrainpulledupatahopelesslycongestedjunctionwheresixlinesoftemporarytrackaccommodatedsixforty-waggontrains;wherewhistlesblew,Babussweated,andCommissariatofficerssworefromdawntillfarintothenight,amidthewind-drivenchaffofthefodder-balesandthelowingofathousandsteers。
"Hurryup-you’rebadlywantedattheFront,"wasthemessagethatgreetedtheForeandAft,andtheoccupantsoftheRedCrosscarriagestoldthesametale。
"Tisn’tsomuchthebloomin’fightin’,"gaspedaheadboundtrooperofHussarstoaknotofadmiringForeandAfts。"Tisn’tsomuchthebloomin’fightin’,thoughthere’senougho’that。It’sthebloomin’foodan’thebloomin’climate。Frostallnight’ceptwhenithails,andb’ilingsunallday,andthewaterstinksfittoknockyoudown。Igotmy’eadchippedlikeaegg;I’vegotpneumoniatoo,an’mygutsisallouto’order。’Tain’tnobloomin’picnicinthoseparts,Icantellyou。"
"Wotaretheniggerslike?"demandedaprivate。
"There’ssomeprisonersinthattrainyonder。Goan’lookat’em。
They’rethearistocracyo’thecountry。Thecommonfolkareadashedsightuglier。Ifyouwanttoknowwhattheyfightwith,reachundermyseatan’pulloutthelongknifethat’sthere。"
Theydraggedoutandbeheldforthefirsttimethegrim,bone-
handled,triangularAfghanknife。ItwasalmostaslongasLew。
"That’sthethingtoj’intye,"saidthetrooperfeebly。"Itcantakeoffaman’sarmattheshoulderaseasyasslicingbutter。I
halvedthebeggarthatusedthatun,butthere’smoreofhislikesupabove。Theydon’tunderstandthrustin’,butthey’redevilstoslice。"
ThemenstrolledacrossthetrackstoinspecttheAfghanprisoners。Theywereunlikeany"niggers"thattheForeandAfthadevermet-thesehuge,black-haired,scowlingsonsoftheBeni-Israel。AsthemenstaredtheAfghansspatfreelyandmutteredonetoanotherwithloweredeyes。
"Myeyes!Wotawfulswine!"saidJakin,whowasintherearoftheprocession。"Say,oleman,howyougotpuckrowed,eh?Kiswastiyouwasn’thangedforyouruglyface,hey?"
Thetallestofthecompanyturned,hisleg-ironsclankingatthemovement,andstaredattheboy。"See!"hecriedtohisfellowsinPushto。"Theysendchildrenagainstus。Whatapeople,andwhatfools!"
"Hya。"saidJakin,noddinghisheadcheerily。"Yougodown-
country。Khanaget,peenikapaneeget-livelikeabloomin’Rajakemarfik。That’sabetterbandobustthanbaynitgetitinyourinnards。Good-bye,oleman。Takecareo’yourbeautifulfigure-
’ead,an’trytolookkushy。"
Themenlaughedandfellinfortheirfirstmarch,whentheybegantorealisethatasoldier’slifeisnotallbeerandskittles。
Theyweremuchimpressedwiththesizeandbestialferocityoftheniggerswhomtheyhadnowlearnedtocall"Paythans,"andmorewiththeexceedingdiscomfortoftheirownsurroundings。Twentyoldsoldiersinthecorpswouldhavetaughtthemhowtomakethemselvesmoderatelysnugatnight,buttheyhadnooldsoldiers,and,asthetroopsonthelineofmarchsaid,"theylivedlikepigs。"Theylearnedtheheart-breakingcussednessofcamp-kitchensandcamelsandthedepravityofanE。P。tentandawither-wrungmule。Theystudiedanimalculaeinwater,anddevelopedafewcasesofdysenteryintheirstudy。
Attheendoftheirthirdmarchtheyweredisagreeablysurprisedbythearrivalintheircampofahammeredironslugwhich,firedfromasteadyrestatsevenhundredyards,flickedoutthebrainsofaprivateseatedbythefire。Thisrobbedthemoftheirpeaceforanight,andwasthebeginningofalong-rangefirecarefullycalculatedtothatend。Inthedaytimetheysawnothingexceptanunpleasantpuffofsmokefromacragabovethelineofmarch。Atnightthereweredistantspurtsofflameandoccasionalcasualties,whichsetthewholecampblazingintothegloomand,occasionally,intooppositetents。Thentheysworevehementlyandvowedthatthiswasmagnificentbutnotwar。
Indeeditwasnot。TheRegimentcouldnothaltforreprisalsagainstthesharpshootersofthecountry-side。ItsdutywastogoforwardandmakeconnectioonwiththeScotchandGoorkhatroopswithwhichitwasbrigaded。TheAfghansknewthis,andknewtoo,aftertheirfirsttentativeshots,thattheyweredealingwitharawregimentThereaftertheydevotedthemselvestothetaskofkeepingtheForeandAftonthestrain。Notforanythingwouldtheyhavetakenequallibertieswithaseasonedcorps-withthewickedlittleGoorkhas,whosedelightitwastolieoutintheopenonadarknightandstalktheirstalkers-withtheterriblebigmendressedinwomen’sclothes,whocouldbeheardprayingtotheirGodinthenight-watches,andwhosepeaceofmindnoamountof"sniping"couldshake-orwiththosevileSikhs,whomarchedsoostentatiouslyunpreparedandwhodealtoutsuchgrimrewardtothosewhotriedtoprofitbythatunpreparedness。Thiswhiteregimentwasdifferent-quitedifferent。Itsleptlikeahog,and,likeahog,chargedineverydirectionwhenitwasroused。
Itssentrieswalkedwithafootfallthatcouldbeheardforaquarterofamile;wouldfireatanythingthatmoved-evenadrivendonkey-andwhentheyhadoncefired,couldbescientifically"rushed"andlaidoutahorrorandanoffenceagainstthemorningsun。Thentherewerecamp-followerswhostraggledandcouldbecutupwithoutfear。Theirshriekswoulddisturbthewhiteboys,andthelossoftheirserviceswouldinconveniencethemsorely。
Thus,ateverymarch,thehiddenenemybecamebolderandtheRegimentwrithedandtwistedunderattacksitcouldnotavenge。
Thecrowningtriumphwasasuddennight-rushendinginthecuttingofmanytent-ropes,thecollapseofthesoddencanvas,andagloriousknifingofthemenwhostruggledandkickedbelow。Itwasagreatdeed,neatlycarriedout,anditshookthealreadyshakennervesoftheForeandAft。Allthecouragethattheyhadbeenrequiredtoexerciseuptothispointwasthe"twoo’clockinthemorningcourage";and,sofar,theyhadonlysucceededinshootingtheircomradesandlosingtheirsleep。
Sullen,discontented,cold,savage,sick,withtheiruniformsdulledandunclean,theForeandAftjoinedtheirBrigade。
"Ihearyouhadatoughtimeofitcomingup,"saidtheBrigadier。
Butwhenhesawthehospital-sheetshisfacefell。
"Thisisbad,"saidhetohimself。"They’reasrottenassheep。"
AndaloudtotheColonel-"I’mafraidwecan’tspareyoujustyet。Wewantallwehave,elseIshouldhavegivenyoutendaystorecoverin。"
TheColonelwinced。"Onmyhonour,Sir,"hereturned,"thereisnottheleastnecessitytothinkofsparingus。Mymenhavebeenrathermauledandupsetwithoutafairreturn。Theyonlywanttogoinsomewherewheretheycanseewhat’sbeforethem。"
"Can’tsayIthinkmuchoftheForeandFit,"saidtheBrigadierinconfidencetohisBrigade-Major。"They’velostalltheirsoldiering,and,bythetrimofthem,mighthavemarchedthroughthecountryfromtheotherside。Amorefagged-outsetofmenI
neverputeyeson。"
"Oh,they’llimproveastheworkgoeson。Theparadeglosshasbeenrubbedoffalittle,butthey’llputonfieldpolishbeforelong,"saidtheBrigade-Major。"They’vebeenmauled,andtheydon’tquiteunderstandit。"
Theydidnot。Allthehittingwasononeside,anditwascruellyhardhittingwithaccessoriesthatmadethemsick。Therewasalsotherealsicknessthatlaidholdofastrongmananddraggedhimhowlingtothegrave。Worstofall,theirofficersknewjustaslittleofthecountryasthementhemselves,andlookedasiftheydid。TheForeandAftwereinathoroughlyunsatisfactorycondition,buttheybelievedthatallwouldbewelliftheycouldoncegetafairgo-inattheenemy。Pot-shotsupanddownthevalleyswereunsatisfactory,andthebayonetneverseemedtogetachance。Perhapsitwasaswell,foralong-limbedAfghanwithaknifehadareachofeightfeet,andcouldcarryawayleadthatwoulddisablethreeEnglishmen。
TheForeandAftwouldlikesomerifle-practiceattheenemy-allsevenhundredriflesblazingtogether。Thatwishshowedthemoodofthemen。
TheGoorkhaswalkedintotheircamp,andinbroken,barrack-roomEnglishstrovetofraternisewiththem:offeredthempipesoftobaccoandstoodthemtreatatthecanteen。ButtheForeandAft,notknowingmuchofthenatureoftheGoorkhas,treatedthemastheywouldtreatanyother"niggers,"andthelittlemeningreentrottedbacktotheirfirmfriendstheHighlanders,andwithmanygrinsconfidedtothem:"Thatdamwhiteregimentnodamuse。Sulky-ugh!Dirty-ugh!Hya,anytotforJohnny?"WhereattheHighlanderssmotetheGoorkhasastothehead,andtoldthemnottovilifyaBritishRegiment,andtheGoorkhasgrinnedcavernously,fortheHighlandersweretheirelderbrothersandentitledtotheprivilegesofkinship。ThecommonsoldierwhotouchesaGoorkhaismorethanlikelytohavehisheadslicedopen。
ThreedayslatertheBrigadierarrangedabattleaccordingtotherulesofwarandthepeculiarityoftheAfghantemperament。Theenemyweremassingininconvenientstrengthamongthehills,andthemovingofmanygreenstandardswarnedhimthatthetribeswere"up"inaidoftheAfghanregulartroops。AsquadronandahalfofBengalLancersrepresentedtheavailableCavalry,andtwoscrew-
guns,borrowedfromacolumnthirtymilesaway,theArtilleryattheGeneral’sdisposal。
"Iftheystand,asI’veaverystrongnotionthattheywill,I
fancyweshallseeaninfantryfightthatwillbeworthwatching,"
saidtheBrigadier。"We’lldoitinstyle。EachregimentshallbeplayedintoactionbyitsBand,andwe’llholdtheCavalryinreserve。"
"Forallthereserve?"somebodyasked。
"Forallthereserve;becausewe’regoingtocrumplethemup,"
saidtheBrigadier,whowasanextraordinaryBrigadier,anddidnotbelieveinthevalueofareservewhendealingwithAsiatics。
Indeed,whenyoucometothinkofit,hadtheBritishArmyconsistentlywaitedforreservesinallitslittleaffairs,theboundariesofOurEmpirewouldhavestoppedatBrightonbeach。
Thebattlewastobeagloriousbattle。
Thethreeregimentsdebouchingfromthreeseparategorges,afterdulycrowningtheheightsabove,weretoconvergefromthecentre,left,andrightuponwhatwewillcalltheAfghanarmy,thenstationedtowardsthelowerextremityofaflat-bottomedvalley。
ThusitwillbeseenthatthreesidesofthevalleypracticallybelongedtotheEnglish,whilethefourthwasstrictlyAfghanproperty。IntheeventofdefeattheAfghanshadtherockyhillstoflyto,wherethefirefromtheguerrillatribesinaidwouldcovertheirretreat。IntheeventofvictorythesesametribeswouldrushdownandlendtheirweighttotheroutoftheBritish。
Thescrew-gunsweretoshelltheheadofeachAfghanrushthatwasmadeincloseformation,andtheCavalry,heldinreserveintherightvalley,weretogentlystimulatethebreak-upwhichwouldfollowonthecombinedattack。TheBrigadier,sittinguponarockoverlookingthevalley,wouldwatchthebattleunrolledathisfeet。TheForeandAftwoulddebouchfromthecentralgorge,theGoorkhasfromtheleft,andtheHighlandersfromtheright,forthereasonthattheleftflankoftheenemyseemedasthoughitrequiredthemosthammering。ItwasnoteverydaythatanAfghanforcewouldtakegroundintheopen,andtheBrigadierwasresolvedtomakethemostofit。
"Ifweonlyhadafewmoremen,"hesaidplaintively,"wecouldsurroundthecreaturesandcrumple’emupthoroughly。Asitis,I’mafraidwecanonlycutthemupastheyrun。It’sagreatpity。"
TheForeandAfthadenjoyedunbrokenpeaceforfivedays,andwerebeginning,inspiteofdysentery,torecovertheirnerve。Buttheywerenothappy,fortheydidnotknowtheworkinhand,andhadtheyknown,wouldnothaveknownhowtodoit。Throughoutthosefivedaysinwhicholdsoldiersmighthavetaughtthemthecraftofthegame,theydiscussedtogethertheirmisadventuresinthepast-howsuchanonewasaliveatdawnanddeaderethedusk,andwithwhatshrieksandstrugglessuchanotherhadgivenuphissoulundertheAfghanknife。Deathwasanewandhorriblethingtothesonsofmechanicswhowereusedtodiedecentlyofzymoticdisease;andtheircarefulconservationinbarrackshaddonenothingtomakethemlookuponitwithlessdread。
Veryearlyinthedawnthebuglesbegantoblow,andtheForeandAft,filledwithamisguidedenthusiasm,turnedoutwithoutwaitingforacupofcoffeeandabiscuit;andwererewardedbybeingkeptunderarmsinthecoldwhiletheotherregimentsleisurelypreparedforthefray。AlltheworldknowsthatitisilltakingthebreeksoffaHighlander。Itismuchillertotrytomakehimstirunlessheisconvincedofthenecessityforhaste。
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