Ireadthescientificandscepticalliteratureofmytime——allofit，atleast，thatIcouldfindwritteninEnglishandlyingabout；
　　andIreadnothingelse；ImeanIreadnothingelseonanyothernoteofphilosophy。ThepennydreadfulswhichIalsoreadwereindeedinahealthyandheroictraditionofChristianity；
　　butIdidnotknowthisatthetime。IneverreadalineofChristianapologetics。IreadaslittleasIcanofthemnow。
　　ItwasHuxleyandHerbertSpencerandBradlaughwhobroughtmebacktoorthodoxtheology。Theysowedinmymindmyfirstwilddoubtsofdoubt。OurgrandmotherswerequiterightwhentheysaidthatTomPaineandthefree-thinkersunsettledthemind。Theydo。
　　Theyunsettledminehorribly。Therationalistmademequestionwhetherreasonwasofanyusewhatever；andwhenIhadfinishedHerbertSpencerIhadgotasfarasdoubting（forthefirsttime）
　　whetherevolutionhadoccurredatall。AsIlaiddownthelastofColonelIngersoll’satheisticlecturesthedreadfulthoughtbrokeacrossmymind，"AlmostthoupersuadestmetobeaChristian。"Iwasinadesperateway。
　　Thisoddeffectofthegreatagnosticsinarousingdoubtsdeeperthantheirownmightbeillustratedinmanyways。
　　Itakeonlyone。AsIreadandre-readallthenon-Christianoranti-Christianaccountsofthefaith，fromHuxleytoBradlaugh，aslowandawfulimpressiongrewgraduallybutgraphicallyuponmymind——theimpressionthatChristianitymustbeamostextraordinarything。Fornotonly（asIunderstood）hadChristianitythemostflamingvices，butithadapparentlyamysticaltalentforcombiningviceswhichseemedinconsistentwitheachother。
　　Itwasattackedonallsidesandforallcontradictoryreasons。
　　Nosoonerhadonerationalistdemonstratedthatitwastoofartotheeastthananotherdemonstratedwithequalclearnessthatitwasmuchtoofartothewest。NosoonerhadmyindignationdieddownatitsangularandaggressivesquarenessthanIwascalledupagaintonoticeandcondemnitsenervatingandsensualroundness。
　　IncaseanyreaderhasnotcomeacrossthethingImean，IwillgivesuchinstancesasIrememberatrandomofthisself-contradictioninthescepticalattack。Igivefourorfiveofthem；therearefiftymore。
　　Thus，forinstance，IwasmuchmovedbytheeloquentattackonChristianityasathingofinhumangloom；forIthought（andstillthink）sincerepessimismtheunpardonablesin。
　　Insincerepessimismisasocialaccomplishment，ratheragreeablethanotherwise；andfortunatelynearlyallpessimismisinsincere。
　　ButifChristianitywas，asthesepeoplesaid，athingpurelypessimisticandopposedtolife，thenIwasquitepreparedtoblowupSt。Paul’sCathedral。Buttheextraordinarythingisthis。
　　TheydidprovetomeinChapterI。（tomycompletesatisfaction）
　　thatChristianitywastoopessimistic；andthen，inChapterII。，theybegantoprovetomethatitwasagreatdealtoooptimistic。
　　OneaccusationagainstChristianitywasthatitpreventedmen，bymorbidtearsandterrors，fromseekingjoyandlibertyinthebosomofNature。Butanotheraccusationwasthatitcomfortedmenwithafictitiousprovidence，andputtheminapink-and-whitenursery。
　　OnegreatagnosticaskedwhyNaturewasnotbeautifulenough，andwhyitwashardtobefree。AnothergreatagnosticobjectedthatChristianoptimism，"thegarmentofmake-believewovenbypioushands，"hidfromusthefactthatNaturewasugly，andthatitwasimpossibletobefree。OnerationalisthadhardlydonecallingChristianityanightmarebeforeanotherbegantocallitafool’sparadise。Thispuzzledme；thechargesseemedinconsistent。
　　Christianitycouldnotatoncebetheblackmaskonawhiteworld，andalsothewhitemaskonablackworld。ThestateoftheChristiancouldnotbeatoncesocomfortablethathewasacowardtoclingtoit，andsouncomfortablethathewasafooltostandit。
　　Ifitfalsifiedhumanvisionitmustfalsifyitonewayoranother；
　　itcouldnotwearbothgreenandrose-colouredspectacles。
　　Irolledonmytonguewithaterriblejoy，asdidallyoungmenofthattime，thetauntswhichSwinburnehurledatthedrearinessofthecreed——
　　"Thouhastconquered，OpaleGalilaean，theworldhasgrowngraywithThybreath。"
　　ButwhenIreadthesamepoet’saccountsofpaganism（asin"Atalanta"），Igatheredthattheworldwas，ifpossible，moregraybeforetheGalileanbreathedonitthanafterwards。
　　Thepoetmaintained，indeed，intheabstract，thatlifeitselfwaspitchdark。Andyet，somehow，Christianityhaddarkenedit。
　　TheverymanwhodenouncedChristianityforpessimismwashimselfapessimist。Ithoughttheremustbesomethingwrong。Anditdidforonewildmomentcrossmymindthat，perhaps，thosemightnotbetheverybestjudgesoftherelationofreligiontohappinesswho，bytheirownaccount，hadneitheronenortheother。
　　ItmustbeunderstoodthatIdidnotconcludehastilythattheaccusationswerefalseortheaccusersfools。IsimplydeducedthatChristianitymustbesomethingevenweirderandwickederthantheymadeout。Athingmighthavethesetwooppositevices；
　　butitmustbearatherqueerthingifitdid。Amanmightbetoofatinoneplaceandtoothininanother；buthewouldbeanoddshape。
　　AtthispointmythoughtswereonlyoftheoddshapeoftheChristianreligion；Ididnotallegeanyoddshapeintherationalisticmind。
　　Hereisanothercaseofthesamekind。IfeltthatastrongcaseagainstChristianitylayinthechargethatthereissomethingtimid，monkish，andunmanlyaboutallthatiscalled"Christian，"
　　especiallyinitsattitudetowardsresistanceandfighting。
　　Thegreatscepticsofthenineteenthcenturywerelargelyvirile。
　　Bradlaughinanexpansiveway，Huxley，inareticentway，weredecidedlymen。Incomparison，itdidseemtenablethattherewassomethingweakandoverpatientaboutChristiancounsels。
　　TheGospelparadoxabouttheothercheek，thefactthatpriestsneverfought，ahundredthingsmadeplausibletheaccusationthatChristianitywasanattempttomakeamantoolikeasheep。
　　Ireaditandbelievedit，andifIhadreadnothingdifferent，Ishouldhavegoneonbelievingit。ButIreadsomethingverydifferent。
　　Iturnedthenextpageinmyagnosticmanual，andmybrainturnedup-sidedown。NowIfoundthatIwastohateChristianitynotforfightingtoolittle，butforfightingtoomuch。Christianity，itseemed，wasthemotherofwars。Christianityhaddelugedtheworldwithblood。
　　IhadgotthoroughlyangrywiththeChristian，becauseheneverwasangry。AndnowIwastoldtobeangrywithhimbecausehisangerhadbeenthemosthugeandhorriblethinginhumanhistory；
　　becausehisangerhadsoakedtheearthandsmokedtothesun。
　　TheverypeoplewhoreproachedChristianitywiththemeeknessandnon-resistanceofthemonasteriesweretheverypeoplewhoreproacheditalsowiththeviolenceandvalouroftheCrusades。ItwasthefaultofpooroldChristianity（somehoworother）boththatEdwardtheConfessordidnotfightandthatRichardCoeurdeLeondid。
　　TheQuakers（weweretold）weretheonlycharacteristicChristians；
　　andyetthemassacresofCromwellandAlvawerecharacteristicChristiancrimes。Whatcoulditallmean？WhatwasthisChristianitywhichalwaysforbadewarandalwaysproducedwars？Whatcouldbethenatureofthethingwhichonecouldabusefirstbecauseitwouldnotfight，andsecondbecauseitwasalwaysfighting？
　　Inwhatworldofriddleswasbornthismonstrousmurderandthismonstrousmeekness？TheshapeofChristianitygrewaqueerershapeeveryinstant。
　　Itakeathirdcase；thestrangestofall，becauseitinvolvestheonerealobjectiontothefaith。TheonerealobjectiontotheChristianreligionissimplythatitisonereligion。Theworldisabigplace，fullofverydifferentkindsofpeople。Christianity（itmayreasonablybesaid）isonethingconfinedtoonekindofpeople；
　　itbeganinPalestine，ithaspracticallystoppedwithEurope。
　　Iwasdulyimpressedwiththisargumentinmyyouth，andIwasmuchdrawntowardsthedoctrineoftenpreachedinEthicalSocieties——
　　Imeanthedoctrinethatthereisonegreatunconsciouschurchofallhumanityfoundedontheomnipresenceofthehumanconscience。
　　Creeds，itwassaid，dividedmen；butatleastmoralsunitedthem。
　　Thesoulmightseekthestrangestandmostremotelandsandagesandstillfindessentialethicalcommonsense。ItmightfindConfuciusunderEasterntrees，andhewouldbewriting"Thoushaltnotsteal。"Itmightdecipherthedarkesthieroglyphiconthemostprimevaldesert，andthemeaningwhendecipheredwouldbe"Littleboysshouldtellthetruth。"Ibelievedthisdoctrineofthebrotherhoodofallmeninthepossessionofamoralsense，andIbelieveitstill——withotherthings。AndIwasthoroughlyannoyedwithChristianityforsuggesting（asIsupposed）
　　thatwholeagesandempiresofmenhadutterlyescapedthislightofjusticeandreason。ButthenIfoundanastonishingthing。
　　IfoundthattheverypeoplewhosaidthatmankindwasonechurchfromPlatotoEmersonweretheverypeoplewhosaidthatmoralityhadchangedaltogether，andthatwhatwasrightinoneagewaswronginanother。IfIasked，say，foranaltar，Iwastoldthatweneedednone，formenourbrothersgaveusclearoraclesandonecreedintheiruniversalcustomsandideals。ButifImildlypointedoutthatoneofmen’suniversalcustomswastohaveanaltar，thenmyagnosticteachersturnedcleanroundandtoldmethatmenhadalwaysbeenindarknessandthesuperstitionsofsavages。
　　IfounditwastheirdailytauntagainstChristianitythatitwasthelightofonepeopleandhadleftallotherstodieinthedark。
　　ButIalsofoundthatitwastheirspecialboastforthemselvesthatscienceandprogresswerethediscoveryofonepeople，andthatallotherpeopleshaddiedinthedark。TheirchiefinsulttoChristianitywasactuallytheirchiefcomplimenttothemselves，andthereseemedtobeastrangeunfairnessaboutalltheirrelativeinsistenceonthetwothings。Whenconsideringsomepaganoragnostic，weweretorememberthatallmenhadonereligion；whenconsideringsomemysticorspiritualist，wewereonlytoconsiderwhatabsurdreligionssomemenhad。WecouldtrusttheethicsofEpictetus，becauseethicshadneverchanged。WemustnottrusttheethicsofBossuet，becauseethicshadchanged。Theychangedintwohundredyears，butnotintwothousand。
　　Thisbegantobealarming。ItlookednotsomuchasifChristianitywasbadenoughtoincludeanyvices，butratherasifanystickwasgoodenoughtobeatChristianitywith。
　　Whatagaincouldthisastonishingthingbelikewhichpeopleweresoanxioustocontradict，thatindoingsotheydidnotmindcontradictingthemselves？Isawthesamethingoneveryside。
　　Icangivenofurtherspacetothisdiscussionofitindetail；
　　butlestanyonesupposesthatIhaveunfairlyselectedthreeaccidentalcasesIwillrunbrieflythroughafewothers。
　　Thus，certainscepticswrotethatthegreatcrimeofChristianityhadbeenitsattackonthefamily；ithaddraggedwomentothelonelinessandcontemplationofthecloister，awayfromtheirhomesandtheirchildren。But，then，othersceptics（slightlymoreadvanced）
　　saidthatthegreatcrimeofChristianitywasforcingthefamilyandmarriageuponus；thatitdoomedwomentothedrudgeryoftheirhomesandchildren，andforbadethemlonelinessandcontemplation。
　　Thechargewasactuallyreversed。Or，again，certainphrasesintheEpistlesorthemarriageservice，weresaidbytheanti-Christianstoshowcontemptforwoman’sintellect。ButIfoundthattheanti-Christiansthemselveshadacontemptforwoman’sintellect；
　　foritwastheirgreatsneerattheChurchontheContinentthat"onlywomen"wenttoit。Oragain，Christianitywasreproachedwithitsnakedandhungryhabits；withitssackclothanddriedpeas。
　　ButthenextminuteChristianitywasbeingreproachedwithitspompanditsritualism；itsshrinesofporphyryanditsrobesofgold。
　　Itwasabusedforbeingtooplainandforbeingtoocoloured。
　　AgainChristianityhadalwaysbeenaccusedofrestrainingsexualitytoomuch，whenBradlaughtheMalthusiandiscoveredthatitrestrainedittoolittle。Itisoftenaccusedinthesamebreathofprimrespectabilityandofreligiousextravagance。BetweenthecoversofthesameatheisticpamphletIhavefoundthefaithrebukedforitsdisunion，"Onethinksonething，andoneanother，"
　　andrebukedalsoforitsunion，"Itisdifferenceofopinionthatpreventstheworldfromgoingtothedogs。"Inthesameconversationafree-thinker，afriendofmine，blamedChristianityfordespisingJews，andthendespisedithimselfforbeingJewish。
　　Iwishedtobequitefairthen，andIwishtobequitefairnow；
　　andIdidnotconcludethattheattackonChristianitywasallwrong。
　　IonlyconcludedthatifChristianitywaswrong，itwasverywrongindeed。Suchhostilehorrorsmightbecombinedinonething，butthatthingmustbeverystrangeandsolitary。Therearemenwhoaremisers，andalsospendthrifts；buttheyarerare。Therearemensensualandalsoascetic；buttheyarerare。Butifthismassofmadcontradictionsreallyexisted，quakerishandbloodthirsty，toogorgeousandtoothread-bare，austere，yetpanderingpreposterouslytothelustoftheeye，theenemyofwomenandtheirfoolishrefuge，asolemnpessimistandasillyoptimist，ifthisevilexisted，thentherewasinthisevilsomethingquitesupremeandunique。
　　ForIfoundinmyrationalistteachersnoexplanationofsuchexceptionalcorruption。Christianity（theoreticallyspeaking）
　　wasintheireyesonlyoneoftheordinarymythsanderrorsofmortals。
　　THEYgavemenokeytothistwistedandunnaturalbadness。
　　Suchaparadoxofevilrosetothestatureofthesupernatural。
　　Itwas，indeed，almostassupernaturalastheinfallibilityofthePope。
　　Anhistoricinstitution，whichneverwentright，isreallyquiteasmuchofamiracleasaninstitutionthatcannotgowrong。
　　TheonlyexplanationwhichimmediatelyoccurredtomymindwasthatChristianitydidnotcomefromheaven，butfromhell。Really，ifJesusofNazarethwasnotChrist，HemusthavebeenAntichrist。
　　Andtheninaquiethourastrangethoughtstruckmelikeastillthunderbolt。Therehadsuddenlycomeintomymindanotherexplanation。
　　Supposeweheardanunknownmanspokenofbymanymen。Supposewewerepuzzledtohearthatsomemensaidhewastootallandsometooshort；someobjectedtohisfatness，somelamentedhisleanness；
　　somethoughthimtoodark，andsometoofair。Oneexplanation（ashasbeenalreadyadmitted）wouldbethathemightbeanoddshape。
　　Butthereisanotherexplanation。Hemightbetherightshape。
　　Outrageouslytallmenmightfeelhimtobeshort。Veryshortmenmightfeelhimtobetall。Oldbuckswhoaregrowingstoutmightconsiderhiminsufficientlyfilledout；oldbeauxwhoweregrowingthinmightfeelthatheexpandedbeyondthenarrowlinesofelegance。
　　PerhapsSwedes（whohavepalehairliketow）calledhimadarkman，whilenegroesconsideredhimdistinctlyblonde。Perhaps（inshort）
　　thisextraordinarythingisreallytheordinarything；atleastthenormalthing，thecentre。Perhaps，afterall，itisChristianitythatissaneandallitscriticsthataremad——invariousways。
　　Itestedthisideabyaskingmyselfwhethertherewasaboutanyoftheaccusersanythingmorbidthatmightexplaintheaccusation。
　　Iwasstartledtofindthatthiskeyfittedalock。Forinstance，itwascertainlyoddthatthemodernworldchargedChristianityatoncewithbodilyausterityandwithartisticpomp。Butthenitwasalsoodd，veryodd，thatthemodernworlditselfcombinedextremebodilyluxurywithanextremeabsenceofartisticpomp。
　　ThemodernmanthoughtBecket’srobestoorichandhismealstoopoor。
　　Butthenthemodernmanwasreallyexceptionalinhistory；nomanbeforeeveratesuchelaboratedinnersinsuchuglyclothes。Themodernmanfoundthechurchtoosimpleexactlywheremodernlifeistoocomplex；
　　hefoundthechurchtoogorgeousexactlywheremodernlifeistoodingy。
　　Themanwhodislikedtheplainfastsandfeastswasmadonentrees。
　　Themanwhodislikedvestmentsworeapairofpreposteroustrousers。
　　Andsurelyiftherewasanyinsanityinvolvedinthematteratallitwasinthetrousers，notinthesimplyfallingrobe。Iftherewasanyinsanityatall，itwasintheextravagantentrees，notinthebreadandwine。
　　Iwentoverallthecases，andIfoundthekeyfittedsofar。
　　ThefactthatSwinburnewasirritatedattheunhappinessofChristiansandyetmoreirritatedattheirhappinesswaseasilyexplained。
　　ItwasnolongeracomplicationofdiseasesinChristianity，butacomplicationofdiseasesinSwinburne。TherestraintsofChristianssaddenedhimsimplybecausehewasmorehedonistthanahealthymanshouldbe。ThefaithofChristiansangeredhimbecausehewasmorepessimistthanahealthymanshouldbe。
　　InthesamewaytheMalthusiansbyinstinctattackedChristianity；
　　notbecausethereisanythingespeciallyanti-MalthusianaboutChristianity，butbecausethereissomethingalittleanti-humanaboutMalthusianism。
　　Neverthelessitcouldnot，Ifelt，bequitetruethatChristianitywasmerelysensibleandstoodinthemiddle。Therewasreallyanelementinitofemphasisandevenfrenzywhichhadjustifiedthesecularistsintheirsuperficialcriticism。Itmightbewise，Ibeganmoreandmoretothinkthatitwaswise，butitwasnotmerelyworldlywise；itwasnotmerelytemperateandrespectable。
　　Itsfiercecrusadersandmeeksaintsmightbalanceeachother；
　　still，thecrusaderswereveryfierceandthesaintswereverymeek，meekbeyondalldecency。Now，itwasjustatthispointofthespeculationthatIrememberedmythoughtsaboutthemartyrandthesuicide。Inthatmattertherehadbeenthiscombinationbetweentwoalmostinsanepositionswhichyetsomehowamountedtosanity。
　　Thiswasjustsuchanothercontradiction；andthisIhadalreadyfoundtobetrue。Thiswasexactlyoneoftheparadoxesinwhichscepticsfoundthecreedwrong；andinthisIhadfounditright。
　　MadlyasChristiansmightlovethemartyrorhatethesuicide，theyneverfeltthesepassionsmoremadlythanIhadfeltthemlongbeforeIdreamedofChristianity。Thenthemostdifficultandinterestingpartofthementalprocessopened，andIbegantotracethisideadarklythroughalltheenormousthoughtsofourtheology。
　　TheideawasthatwhichIhadoutlinedtouchingtheoptimistandthepessimist；thatwewantnotanamalgamorcompromise，butboththingsatthetopoftheirenergy；loveandwrathbothburning。
　　HereIshallonlytraceitinrelationtoethics。ButIneednotremindthereaderthattheideaofthiscombinationisindeedcentralinorthodoxtheology。FororthodoxtheologyhasspeciallyinsistedthatChristwasnotabeingapartfromGodandman，likeanelf，noryetabeinghalfhumanandhalfnot，likeacentaur，butboththingsatonceandboththingsthoroughly，verymanandveryGod。
　　NowletmetracethisnotionasIfoundit。
　　Allsanemencanseethatsanityissomekindofequilibrium；
　　thatonemaybemadandeattoomuch，ormadandeattoolittle。
　　SomemodernshaveindeedappearedwithvagueversionsofprogressandevolutionwhichseekstodestroytheMESONorbalanceofAristotle。
　　Theyseemtosuggestthatwearemeanttostarveprogressively，ortogooneatinglargerandlargerbreakfastseverymorningforever。
　　ButthegreattruismoftheMESONremainsforallthinkingmen，andthesepeoplehavenotupsetanybalanceexcepttheirown。
　　Butgrantedthatwehavealltokeepabalance，therealinterestcomesinwiththequestionofhowthatbalancecanbekept。
　　ThatwastheproblemwhichPaganismtriedtosolve：thatwastheproblemwhichIthinkChristianitysolvedandsolvedinaverystrangeway。
　　Paganismdeclaredthatvirtuewasinabalance；Christianitydeclareditwasinaconflict：thecollisionoftwopassionsapparentlyopposite。Ofcoursetheywerenotreallyinconsistent；
　　buttheyweresuchthatitwashardtoholdsimultaneously。
　　Letusfollowforamomenttheclueofthemartyrandthesuicide；
　　andtakethecaseofcourage。Noqualityhaseversomuchaddledthebrainsandtangledthedefinitionsofmerelyrationalsages。
　　Courageisalmostacontradictioninterms。Itmeansastrongdesiretolivetakingtheformofareadinesstodie。"Hethatwilllosehislife，thesameshallsaveit，"isnotapieceofmysticismforsaintsandheroes。Itisapieceofeverydayadviceforsailorsormountaineers。ItmightbeprintedinanAlpineguideoradrillbook。Thisparadoxisthewholeprincipleofcourage；
　　evenofquiteearthlyorquitebrutalcourage。Amancutoffbytheseamaysavehislifeifhewillriskitontheprecipice。
　　Hecanonlygetawayfromdeathbycontinuallysteppingwithinaninchofit。Asoldiersurroundedbyenemies，ifheistocuthiswayout，needstocombineastrongdesireforlivingwithastrangecarelessnessaboutdying。Hemustnotmerelyclingtolife，forthenhewillbeacoward，andwillnotescape。Hemustnotmerelywaitfordeath，forthenhewillbeasuicide，andwillnotescape。
　　Hemustseekhislifeinaspiritoffuriousindifferencetoit；
　　hemustdesirelifelikewaterandyetdrinkdeathlikewine。
　　Nophilosopher，Ifancy，haseverexpressedthisromanticriddlewithadequatelucidity，andIcertainlyhavenotdoneso。
　　ButChristianityhasdonemore：ithasmarkedthelimitsofitintheawfulgravesofthesuicideandthehero，showingthedistancebetweenhimwhodiesforthesakeoflivingandhimwhodiesforthesakeofdying。AndithasheldupeversinceabovetheEuropeanlancesthebannerofthemysteryofchivalry：theChristiancourage，whichisadisdainofdeath；nottheChinesecourage，whichisadisdainoflife。
　　AndnowIbegantofindthatthisduplexpassionwastheChristiankeytoethicseverywhere。Everywherethecreedmadeamoderationoutofthestillcrashoftwoimpetuousemotions。Take，forinstance，thematterofmodesty，ofthebalancebetweenmereprideandmereprostration。Theaveragepagan，liketheaverageagnostic，wouldmerelysaythathewascontentwithhimself，butnotinsolentlyself-satisfied，thatthereweremanybetterandmanyworse，thathisdesertswerelimited，buthewouldseethathegotthem。
　　Inshort，hewouldwalkwithhisheadintheair；butnotnecessarilywithhisnoseintheair。Thisisamanlyandrationalposition，butitisopentotheobjectionwenotedagainstthecompromisebetweenoptimismandpessimism——the"resignation"ofMatthewArnold。
　　Beingamixtureoftwothings，itisadilutionoftwothings；
　　neitherispresentinitsfullstrengthorcontributesitsfullcolour。
　　Thisproperpridedoesnotlifttheheartlikethetongueoftrumpets；
　　youcannotgocladincrimsonandgoldforthis。Ontheotherhand，thismildrationalistmodestydoesnotcleansethesoulwithfireandmakeitclearlikecrystal；itdoesnot（likeastrictandsearchinghumility）makeamanasalittlechild，whocansitatthefeetofthegrass。Itdoesnotmakehimlookupandseemarvels；
　　forAlicemustgrowsmallifsheistobeAliceinWonderland。Thusitlosesboththepoetryofbeingproudandthepoetryofbeinghumble。
　　Christianitysoughtbythissamestrangeexpedienttosavebothofthem。
　　Itseparatedthetwoideasandthenexaggeratedthemboth。
　　InonewayManwastobehaughtierthanhehadeverbeenbefore；
　　inanotherwayhewastobehumblerthanhehadeverbeenbefore。
　　InsofarasIamManIamthechiefofcreatures。InsofarasIamamanIamthechiefofsinners。Allhumilitythathadmeantpessimism，thathadmeantmantakingavagueormeanviewofhiswholedestiny——allthatwastogo。WeweretohearnomorethewailofEcclesiastesthathumanityhadnopre-eminenceoverthebrute，ortheawfulcryofHomerthatmanwasonlythesaddestofallthebeastsofthefield。ManwasastatueofGodwalkingaboutthegarden。Manhadpre-eminenceoverallthebrutes；
　　manwasonlysadbecausehewasnotabeast，butabrokengod。
　　TheGreekhadspokenofmencreepingontheearth，asifclingingtoit。NowManwastotreadontheearthasiftosubdueit。
　　Christianitythusheldathoughtofthedignityofmanthatcouldonlybeexpressedincrownsrayedlikethesunandfansofpeacockplumage。
　　Yetatthesametimeitcouldholdathoughtabouttheabjectsmallnessofmanthatcouldonlybeexpressedinfastingandfantasticsubmission，inthegrayashesofSt。DominicandthewhitesnowsofSt。Bernard。
　　WhenonecametothinkofONE’SSELF，therewasvistaandvoidenoughforanyamountofbleakabnegationandbittertruth。Theretherealisticgentlemancouldlethimselfgo——aslongashelethimselfgoathimself。Therewasanopenplaygroundforthehappypessimist。
　　Lethimsayanythingagainsthimselfshortofblasphemingtheoriginalaimofhisbeing；lethimcallhimselfafoolandevenadamnedfool（thoughthatisCalvinistic）；buthemustnotsaythatfoolsarenotworthsaving。Hemustnotsaythataman，QUAman，canbevalueless。Here，againinshort，Christianitygotoverthedifficultyofcombiningfuriousopposites，bykeepingthemboth，andkeepingthembothfurious。TheChurchwaspositiveonbothpoints。
　　Onecanhardlythinktoolittleofone’sself。Onecanhardlythinktoomuchofone’ssoul。
　　Takeanothercase：thecomplicatedquestionofcharity，whichsomehighlyuncharitableidealistsseemtothinkquiteeasy。
　　Charityisaparadox，likemodestyandcourage。Statedbaldly，charitycertainlymeansoneoftwothings——pardoningunpardonableacts，orlovingunlovablepeople。Butifweaskourselves（aswedidinthecaseofpride）whatasensiblepaganwouldfeelaboutsuchasubject，weshallprobablybebeginningatthebottomofit。
　　Asensiblepaganwouldsaythatthereweresomepeopleonecouldforgive，andsomeonecouldn’t：aslavewhostolewinecouldbelaughedat；
　　aslavewhobetrayedhisbenefactorcouldbekilled，andcursedevenafterhewaskilled。Insofarastheactwaspardonable，themanwaspardonable。Thatagainisrational，andevenrefreshing；
　　butitisadilution。Itleavesnoplaceforapurehorrorofinjustice，suchasthatwhichisagreatbeautyintheinnocent。Anditleavesnoplaceforameretendernessformenasmen，suchasisthewholefascinationofthecharitable。Christianitycameinhereasbefore。
　　Itcameinstartlinglywithasword，andcloveonethingfromanother。
　　Itdividedthecrimefromthecriminal。Thecriminalwemustforgiveuntoseventytimesseven。Thecrimewemustnotforgiveatall。
　　Itwasnotenoughthatslaveswhostolewineinspiredpartlyangerandpartlykindness。Wemustbemuchmoreangrywiththeftthanbefore，andyetmuchkindertothievesthanbefore。Therewasroomforwrathandlovetorunwild。AndthemoreIconsideredChristianity，themoreIfoundthatwhileithadestablishedaruleandorder，thechiefaimofthatorderwastogiveroomforgoodthingstorunwild。
　　Mentalandemotionallibertyarenotsosimpleastheylook。
　　Reallytheyrequirealmostascarefulabalanceoflawsandconditionsasdosocialandpoliticalliberty。Theordinaryaestheticanarchistwhosetsouttofeeleverythingfreelygetsknottedatlastinaparadoxthatpreventshimfeelingatall。Hebreaksawayfromhomelimitstofollowpoetry。Butinceasingtofeelhomelimitshehasceasedtofeelthe"Odyssey。"Heisfreefromnationalprejudicesandoutsidepatriotism。Butbeingoutsidepatriotismheisoutside"HenryV。"Suchaliterarymanissimplyoutsideallliterature：
　　heismoreofaprisonerthananybigot。Forifthereisawallbetweenyouandtheworld，itmakeslittledifferencewhetheryoudescribeyourselfaslockedinoraslockedout。Whatwewantisnottheuniversalitythatisoutsideallnormalsentiments；
　　wewanttheuniversalitythatisinsideallnormalsentiments。
　　Itisallthedifferencebetweenbeingfreefromthem，asamanisfreefromaprison，andbeingfreeofthemasamanisfreeofacity。IamfreefromWindsorCastle（thatis，Iamnotforciblydetainedthere），butIambynomeansfreeofthatbuilding。
　　Howcanmanbeapproximatelyfreeoffineemotions，abletoswingtheminaclearspacewithoutbreakageorwrong？THISwastheachievementofthisChristianparadoxoftheparallelpassions。
　　Grantedtheprimarydogmaofthewarbetweendivineanddiabolic，therevoltandruinoftheworld，theiroptimismandpessimism，aspurepoetry，couldbeloosenedlikecataracts。
　　St。Francis，inpraisingallgood，couldbeamoreshoutingoptimistthanWaltWhitman。St。Jerome，indenouncingallevil，couldpainttheworldblackerthanSchopenhauer。Bothpassionswerefreebecausebothwerekeptintheirplace。Theoptimistcouldpouroutallthepraisehelikedonthegaymusicofthemarch，thegoldentrumpets，andthepurplebannersgoingintobattle。
　　Buthemustnotcallthefightneedless。Thepessimistmightdrawasdarklyashechosethesickeningmarchesorthesanguinewounds。
　　Buthemustnotcallthefighthopeless。Soitwaswithalltheothermoralproblems，withpride，withprotest，andwithcompassion。
　　Bydefiningitsmaindoctrine，theChurchnotonlykeptseeminglyinconsistentthingssidebyside，but，whatwasmore，allowedthemtobreakoutinasortofartisticviolenceotherwisepossibleonlytoanarchists。Meeknessgrewmoredramaticthanmadness。
　　HistoricChristianityroseintoahighandstrangeCOUPDETHEATRE
　　ofmorality——thingsthataretovirtuewhatthecrimesofNeroaretovice。Thespiritsofindignationandofcharitytookterribleandattractiveforms，rangingfromthatmonkishfiercenessthatscourgedlikeadogthefirstandgreatestofthePlantagenets，tothesublimepityofSt。Catherine，who，intheofficialshambles，kissedthebloodyheadofthecriminal。Poetrycouldbeactedaswellascomposed。Thisheroicandmonumentalmannerinethicshasentirelyvanishedwithsupernaturalreligion。They，beinghumble，couldparadethemselves：butwearetooproudtobeprominent。
　　Ourethicalteacherswritereasonablyforprisonreform；butwearenotlikelytoseeMr。Cadbury，oranyeminentphilanthropist，gointoReadingGaolandembracethestrangledcorpsebeforeitiscastintothequicklime。Ourethicalteacherswritemildlyagainstthepowerofmillionaires；butwearenotlikelytoseeMr。Rockefeller，oranymoderntyrant，publiclywhippedinWestminsterAbbey。
　　Thus，thedoublechargesofthesecularists，thoughthrowingnothingbutdarknessandconfusiononthemselves，throwareallightonthefaith。ItistruethatthehistoricChurchhasatonceemphasisedcelibacyandemphasisedthefamily；hasatonce（ifonemayputitso）
　　beenfiercelyforhavingchildrenandfiercelyfornothavingchildren。
　　Ithaskeptthemsidebysideliketwostrongcolours，redandwhite，liketheredandwhiteupontheshieldofSt。George。Ithasalwayshadahealthyhatredofpink。Ithatesthatcombinationoftwocolourswhichisthefeebleexpedientofthephilosophers。
　　Ithatesthatevolutionofblackintowhitewhichistantamounttoadirtygray。Infact，thewholetheoryoftheChurchonvirginitymightbesymbolizedinthestatementthatwhiteisacolour：
　　notmerelytheabsenceofacolour。AllthatIamurgingherecanbeexpressedbysayingthatChristianitysoughtinmostofthesecasestokeeptwocolourscoexistentbutpure。Itisnotamixturelikerussetorpurple；itisratherlikeashotsilk，forashotsilkisalwaysatrightangles，andisinthepatternofthecross。
　　Soitisalso，ofcourse，withthecontradictorychargesoftheanti-Christiansaboutsubmissionandslaughter。ItIStruethattheChurchtoldsomementofightandothersnottofight；
　　anditIStruethatthosewhofoughtwerelikethunderboltsandthosewhodidnotfightwerelikestatues。AllthissimplymeansthattheChurchpreferredtouseitsSupermenandtouseitsTolstoyans。TheremustbeSOMEgoodinthelifeofbattle，forsomanygoodmenhaveenjoyedbeingsoldiers。TheremustbeSOMEgoodintheideaofnon-resistance，forsomanygoodmenseemtoenjoybeingQuakers。AllthattheChurchdid（sofarasthatgoes）
　　wastopreventeitherofthesegoodthingsfromoustingtheother。
　　Theyexistedsidebyside。TheTolstoyans，havingallthescruplesofmonks，simplybecamemonks。TheQuakersbecameaclubinsteadofbecomingasect。MonkssaidallthatTolstoysays；theypouredoutlucidlamentationsaboutthecrueltyofbattlesandthevanityofrevenge。ButtheTolstoyansarenotquiterightenoughtorunthewholeworld；andintheagesoffaiththeywerenotallowedtorunit。TheworlddidnotlosethelastchargeofSirJamesDouglasorthebannerofJoantheMaid。Andsometimesthispuregentlenessandthispurefiercenessmetandjustifiedtheirjuncture；
　　theparadoxofalltheprophetswasfulfilled，and，inthesoulofSt。Louis，thelionlaydownwiththelamb。Butrememberthatthistextistoolightlyinterpreted。Itisconstantlyassured，especiallyinourTolstoyantendencies，thatwhenthelionliesdownwiththelambthelionbecomeslamb-like。Butthatisbrutalannexationandimperialismonthepartofthelamb。Thatissimplythelambabsorbingthelioninsteadofthelioneatingthelamb。
　　Therealproblemis——Canthelionliedownwiththelambandstillretainhisroyalferocity？THATistheproblemtheChurchattempted；
　　THATisthemiraclesheachieved。
　　ThisiswhatIhavecalledguessingthehiddeneccentricitiesoflife。Thisisknowingthataman’sheartistotheleftandnotinthemiddle。Thisisknowingnotonlythattheearthisround，butknowingexactlywhereitisflat。Christiandoctrinedetectedtheodditiesoflife。Itnotonlydiscoveredthelaw，butitforesawtheexceptions。ThoseunderrateChristianitywhosaythatitdiscoveredmercy；anyonemightdiscovermercy。Infacteveryonedid。Buttodiscoveraplanforbeingmercifulandalsosevere——
　　THATwastoanticipateastrangeneedofhumannature。Fornoonewantstobeforgivenforabigsinasifitwerealittleone。
　　Anyonemightsaythatweshouldbeneitherquitemiserablenorquitehappy。ButtofindouthowfaroneMAYbequitemiserablewithoutmakingitimpossibletobequitehappy——thatwasadiscoveryinpsychology。Anyonemightsay，"Neitherswaggernorgrovel"；
　　anditwouldhavebeenalimit。Buttosay，"Hereyoucanswaggerandthereyoucangrovel"——thatwasanemancipation。
　　ThiswasthebigfactaboutChristianethics；thediscoveryofthenewbalance。Paganismhadbeenlikeapillarofmarble，uprightbecauseproportionedwithsymmetry。Christianitywaslikeahugeandraggedandromanticrock，which，thoughitswaysonitspedestalatatouch，yet，becauseitsexaggeratedexcrescencesexactlybalanceeachother，isenthronedthereforathousandyears。
　　InaGothiccathedralthecolumnswerealldifferent，buttheywereallnecessary。Everysupportseemedanaccidentalandfantasticsupport；
　　everybuttresswasaflyingbuttress。SoinChristendomapparentaccidentsbalanced。Becketworeahairshirtunderhisgoldandcrimson，andthereismuchtobesaidforthecombination；
　　forBecketgotthebenefitofthehairshirtwhilethepeopleinthestreetgotthebenefitofthecrimsonandgold。Itisatleastbetterthanthemannerofthemodernmillionaire，whohastheblackandthedraboutwardlyforothers，andthegoldnexthisheart。
　　Butthebalancewasnotalwaysinoneman’sbodyasinBecket’s；
　　thebalancewasoftendistributedoverthewholebodyofChristendom。
　　BecauseamanprayedandfastedontheNorthernsnows，flowerscouldbeflungathisfestivalintheSoutherncities；andbecausefanaticsdrankwateronthesandsofSyria，mencouldstilldrinkciderintheorchardsofEngland。ThisiswhatmakesChristendomatoncesomuchmoreperplexingandsomuchmoreinterestingthanthePaganempire；
　　justasAmiensCathedralisnotbetterbutmoreinterestingthantheParthenon。Ifanyonewantsamodernproofofallthis，lethimconsiderthecuriousfactthat，underChristianity，Europe（whileremainingaunity）hasbrokenupintoindividualnations。
　　Patriotismisaperfectexampleofthisdeliberatebalancingofoneemphasisagainstanotheremphasis。TheinstinctofthePaganempirewouldhavesaid，"YoushallallbeRomancitizens，andgrowalike；lettheGermangrowlessslowandreverent；
　　theFrenchmenlessexperimentalandswift。"ButtheinstinctofChristianEuropesays，"LettheGermanremainslowandreverent，thattheFrenchmanmaythemoresafelybeswiftandexperimental。
　　Wewillmakeanequipoiseoutoftheseexcesses。TheabsurditycalledGermanyshallcorrecttheinsanitycalledFrance。"
　　Lastandmostimportant，itisexactlythiswhichexplainswhatissoinexplicabletoallthemoderncriticsofthehistoryofChristianity。Imeanthemonstrouswarsaboutsmallpointsoftheology，theearthquakesofemotionaboutagestureoraword。
　　Itwasonlyamatterofaninch；butaninchiseverythingwhenyouarebalancing。TheChurchcouldnotaffordtoswerveahair’sbreadthonsomethingsifshewastocontinuehergreatanddaringexperimentoftheirregularequilibrium。Onceletoneideabecomelesspowerfulandsomeotherideawouldbecometoopowerful。ItwasnoflockofsheeptheChristianshepherdwasleading，butaherdofbullsandtigers，ofterribleidealsanddevouringdoctrines，eachoneofthemstrongenoughtoturntoafalsereligionandlaywastetheworld。
　　RememberthattheChurchwentinspecificallyfordangerousideas；
　　shewasaliontamer。TheideaofbirththroughaHolySpirit，ofthedeathofadivinebeing，oftheforgivenessofsins，orthefulfilmentofprophecies，areideaswhich，anyonecansee，needbutatouchtoturnthemintosomethingblasphemousorferocious。
　　ThesmallestlinkwasletdropbytheartificersoftheMediterranean，andthelionofancestralpessimismbursthischainintheforgottenforestsofthenorth。OfthesetheologicalequalisationsIhavetospeakafterwards。Hereitisenoughtonoticethatifsomesmallmistakeweremadeindoctrine，hugeblundersmightbemadeinhumanhappiness。AsentencephrasedwrongaboutthenatureofsymbolismwouldhavebrokenallthebeststatuesinEurope。
　　Aslipinthedefinitionsmightstopallthedances；mightwitheralltheChristmastreesorbreakalltheEastereggs。Doctrineshadtobedefinedwithinstrictlimits，eveninorderthatmanmightenjoygeneralhumanliberties。TheChurchhadtobecareful，ifonlythattheworldmightbecareless。
　　ThisisthethrillingromanceofOrthodoxy。Peoplehavefallenintoafoolishhabitofspeakingoforthodoxyassomethingheavy，humdrum，andsafe。Thereneverwasanythingsoperilousorsoexcitingasorthodoxy。Itwassanity：andtobesaneismoredramaticthantobemad。Itwastheequilibriumofamanbehindmadlyrushinghorses，seemingtostoopthiswayandtoswaythat，yetineveryattitudehavingthegraceofstatuaryandtheaccuracyofarithmetic。
　　TheChurchinitsearlydayswentfierceandfastwithanywarhorse；
　　yetitisutterlyunhistorictosaythatshemerelywentmadalongoneidea，likeavulgarfanaticism。Sheswervedtoleftandright，soexactlyastoavoidenormousobstacles。SheleftononehandthehugebulkofArianism，buttressedbyalltheworldlypowerstomakeChristianitytooworldly。Thenextinstantshewasswervingtoavoidanorientalism，whichwouldhavemadeittoounworldly。
　　TheorthodoxChurchnevertookthetamecourseoracceptedtheconventions；theorthodoxChurchwasneverrespectable。ItwouldhavebeeneasiertohaveacceptedtheearthlypoweroftheArians。
　　Itwouldhavebeeneasy，intheCalvinisticseventeenthcentury，tofallintothebottomlesspitofpredestination。Itiseasytobeamadman：itiseasytobeaheretic。Itisalwayseasytolettheagehaveitshead；thedifficultthingistokeepone’sown。
　　Itisalwayseasytobeamodernist；asitiseasytobeasnob。
　　TohavefallenintoanyofthoseopentrapsoferrorandexaggerationwhichfashionafterfashionandsectaftersectsetalongthehistoricpathofChristendom——thatwouldindeedhavebeensimple。
　　Itisalwayssimpletofall；thereareaninfinityofanglesatwhichonefalls，onlyoneatwhichonestands。TohavefallenintoanyoneofthefadsfromGnosticismtoChristianSciencewouldindeedhavebeenobviousandtame。Buttohaveavoidedthemallhasbeenonewhirlingadventure；andinmyvisiontheheavenlychariotfliesthunderingthroughtheages，thedullheresiessprawlingandprostrate，thewildtruthreelingbuterect。
　　VIITHEETERNALREVOLUTION
　　Thefollowingpropositionshavebeenurged：First，thatsomefaithinourlifeisrequiredeventoimproveit；second，thatsomedissatisfactionwiththingsastheyareisnecessaryeveninordertobesatisfied；third，thattohavethisnecessarycontentandnecessarydiscontentitisnotsufficienttohavetheobviousequilibriumoftheStoic。Formereresignationhasneitherthegiganticlevityofpleasurenorthesuperbintoleranceofpain。
　　Thereisavitalobjectiontotheadvicemerelytogrinandbearit。
　　Theobjectionisthatifyoumerelybearit，youdonotgrin。
　　Greekheroesdonotgrin：butgargoylesdo——becausetheyareChristian。
　　AndwhenaChristianispleased，heis（inthemostexactsense）
　　frightfullypleased；hispleasureisfrightful。ChristprophesiedthewholeofGothicarchitectureinthathourwhennervousandrespectablepeople（suchpeopleasnowobjecttobarrelorgans）
　　objectedtotheshoutingofthegutter-snipesofJerusalem。
　　Hesaid，"Iftheseweresilent，theverystoneswouldcryout。"
　　UndertheimpulseofHisspiritaroselikeaclamorouschorusthefacadesofthemediaevalcathedrals，throngedwithshoutingfacesandopenmouths。Theprophecyhasfulfilleditself：theverystonescryout。
　　Ifthesethingsbeconceded，thoughonlyforargument，wemaytakeupwhereweleftitthethreadofthethoughtofthenaturalman，calledbytheScotch（withregrettablefamiliarity），"TheOldMan。"Wecanaskthenextquestionsoobviouslyinfrontofus。Somesatisfactionisneededeventomakethingsbetter。
　　Butwhatdowemeanbymakingthingsbetter？Mostmoderntalkonthismatterisamereargumentinacircle——thatcirclewhichwehavealreadymadethesymbolofmadnessandofmererationalism。
　　Evolutionisonlygoodifitproducesgood；goodisonlygoodifithelpsevolution。Theelephantstandsonthetortoise，andthetortoiseontheelephant。
　　Obviously，itwillnotdototakeouridealfromtheprincipleinnature；forthesimplereasonthat（exceptforsomehumanordivinetheory），thereisnoprincipleinnature。Forinstance，thecheapanti-democratofto-daywilltellyousolemnlythatthereisnoequalityinnature。Heisright，buthedoesnotseethelogicaladdendum。Thereisnoequalityinnature；alsothereisnoinequalityinnature。Inequality，asmuchasequality，impliesastandardofvalue。Toreadaristocracyintotheanarchyofanimalsisjustassentimentalastoreaddemocracyintoit。
　　Botharistocracyanddemocracyarehumanideals：theonesayingthatallmenarevaluable，theotherthatsomemenaremorevaluable。