EntirePlayTheComedyofErrorsbyWilliamShakespeareACTISCENEI。AhallinDUKESOLINUS’Spalace。EnterDUKESOLINUS，AEGEON，Gaoler，Officers，andotherAttendantsAEGEONProceed，Solinus，toprocuremyfallAndbythedoomofdeathendwoesandall。DUKESOLINUSMerchantofSyracuse，pleadnomore；
　　Iamnotpartialtoinfringeourlaws：
　　TheenmityanddiscordwhichoflateSprungfromtherancorousoutrageofyourdukeTomerchants，ourwell-dealingcountrymen，WhowantingguilderstoredeemtheirlivesHaveseal’dhisrigorousstatuteswiththeirbloods，Excludesallpityfromourthreateninglooks。
　　For，sincethemortalandintestinejars’Twixtthyseditiouscountrymenandus，IthathinsolemnsynodsbeendecreedBothbytheSyracusiansandourselves，ToadmitnotraffictoouradversetownsNay，more，IfanybornatEphesusbeseenAtanySyracusianmartsandfairs；
　　Again：ifanySyracusianbornCometothebayofEphesus，hedies，Hisgoodsconfiscatetotheduke’sdispose，Unlessathousandmarksbelevied，Toquitthepenaltyandtoransomhim。
　　Thysubstance，valuedatthehighestrate，Cannotamountuntoahundredmarks；
　　Thereforebylawthouartcondemnedtodie。AEGEONYetthismycomfort：whenyourwordsaredone，Mywoesendlikewisewiththeeveningsun。DUKESOLINUSWell，Syracusian，sayinbriefthecauseWhythoudeparted’stfromthynativehomeAndforwhatcausethoucamesttoEphesus。AEGEONAheaviertaskcouldnothavebeenimposedThanItospeakmygriefsunspeakable：
　　Yet，thattheworldmaywitnessthatmyendWaswroughtbynature，notbyvileoffence，I’llutterwhatmysorrowsgivemeleave。
　　InSyracusawasIborn，andwedUntoawoman，happybutforme，Andbyme，hadnotourhapbeenbad。
　　WithherIlivedinjoy；ourwealthincreasedByprosperousvoyagesIoftenmadeToEpidamnum；tillmyfactor’sdeathAndthegreatcareofgoodsatrandomleftDrewmefromkindembracementsofmyspouse：
　　FromwhommyabsencewasnotsixmonthsoldBeforeherself，almostatfaintingunderThepleasingpunishmentthatwomenbear，HadmadeprovisionforherfollowingmeAndsoonandsafearrivedwhereIwas。
　　Therehadshenotbeenlong，butshebecameAjoyfulmotheroftwogoodlysons；
　　And，whichwasstrange，theonesoliketheother，Ascouldnotbedistinguish’dbutbynames。
　　Thatveryhour，andintheself-sameinn，AmeanerwomanwasdeliveredOfsuchaburden，maletwins，bothalike：
　　Those，——fortheirparentswereexceedingpoor，——
　　Iboughtandbroughtuptoattendmysons。
　　Mywife，notmeanlyproudoftwosuchboys，Madedailymotionsforourhomereturn：
　　UnwillingIagreed。Alas！toosoon，Wecameaboard。
　　AleaguefromEpidamnumhadwesail’d，Beforethealwayswind-obeyingdeepGaveanytragicinstanceofourharm：
　　Butlongerdidwenotretainmuchhope；
　　ForwhatobscuredlighttheheavensdidgrantDidbutconveyuntoourfearfulmindsAdoubtfulwarrantofimmediatedeath；
　　Whichthoughmyselfwouldgladlyhaveembraced，Yettheincessantweepingsofmywife，Weepingbeforeforwhatshesawmustcome，Andpiteousplainingsoftheprettybabes，Thatmourn’dforfashion，ignorantwhattofear，Forcedmetoseekdelaysforthemandme。
　　Andthisitwas，forothermeanswasnone：
　　Thesailorssoughtforsafetybyourboat，Andlefttheship，thensinking-ripe，tous：
　　Mywife，morecarefulforthelatter-born，Hadfasten’dhimuntoasmallsparemast，Suchasseafaringmenprovideforstorms；
　　Tohimoneoftheothertwinswasbound，WhilstIhadbeenlikeheedfuloftheother：
　　Thechildrenthusdisposed，mywifeandI，Fixingoureyesonwhomourcarewasfix’d，Fasten’dourselvesateitherendthemast；
　　Andfloatingstraight，obedienttothestream，WascarriedtowardsCorinth，aswethought。
　　Atlengththesun，gazingupontheearth，Dispersedthosevapoursthatoffendedus；
　　Andbythebenefitofhiswishedlight，Theseaswax’dcalm，andwediscoveredTwoshipsfromfarmakingamaintous，OfCorinththat，ofEpidaurusthis：
　　Buteretheycame，——O，letmesaynomore！
　　Gatherthesequelbythatwentbefore。DUKESOLINUSNay，forward，oldman；donotbreakoffso；
　　Forwemaypity，thoughnotpardonthee。AEGEONO，hadthegodsdoneso，IhadnotnowWorthilyterm’dthemmercilesstous！
　　For，eretheshipscouldmeetbytwicefiveleagues，Wewereencounterdbyamightyrock；
　　Whichbeingviolentlyborneupon，Ourhelpfulshipwassplittedinthemidst；
　　Sothat，inthisunjustdivorceofus，FortunehadlefttobothofusalikeWhattodelightin，whattosorrowfor。
　　Herpart，poorsoul！seemingasburdenedWithlesserweightbutnotwithlesserwoe，Wascarriedwithmorespeedbeforethewind；
　　AndinoursighttheythreeweretakenupByfishermenofCorinth，aswethought。
　　Atlength，anothershiphadseizedonus；
　　And，knowingwhomitwastheirhaptosave，Gavehealthfulwelcometotheirshipwreck’dguests；
　　Andwouldhavereftthefishersoftheirprey，Hadnottheirbarkbeenveryslowofsail；
　　Andthereforehomewarddidtheybendtheircourse。
　　Thushaveyouheardmesever’dfrommybliss；
　　Thatbymisfortuneswasmylifeprolong’d，Totellsadstoriesofmyownmishaps。DUKESOLINUSAndforthesakeofthemthousorrowestfor，DomethefavourtodilateatfullWhathathbefall’nofthemandtheetillnow。AEGEONMyyoungestboy，andyetmyeldestcare，AteighteenyearsbecameinquisitiveAfterhisbrother：andimportunedmeThathisattendant——sohiscasewaslike，Reftofhisbrother，butretain’dhisname——
　　Mightbearhimcompanyinthequestofhim：
　　WhomwhilstIlabour’dofalovetosee，IhazardedthelossofwhomIloved。
　　FivesummershaveIspentinfurthestGreece，RoamingcleanthroughtheboundsofAsia，And，coastinghomeward，cametoEphesus；
　　Hopelesstofind，yetloathtoleaveunsoughtOrthatoranyplacethatharboursmen。
　　Butheremustendthestoryofmylife；
　　AndhappywereIinmytimelydeath，Couldallmytravelswarrantmetheylive。DUKESOLINUSHaplessAEgeon，whomthefateshavemark’dTobeartheextremityofdiremishap！
　　Now，trustme，wereitnotagainstourlaws，Againstmycrown，myoath，mydignity，Whichprinces，wouldthey，maynotdisannul，Mysoulwouldsueasadvocateforthee。
　　But，thoughthouartadjudgedtothedeathAndpassedsentencemaynotberecall’dButtoourhonour’sgreatdisparagement，YetIwillfavourtheeinwhatIcan。
　　Therefore，merchant，I’lllimittheethisdayToseekthylifebybeneficialhelp：
　　TryallthefriendsthouhastinEphesus；
　　Begthou，orborrow，tomakeupthesum，Andlive；ifno，thenthouartdoom’dtodie。
　　Gaoler，takehimtothycustody。GaolerIwill，mylord。AEGEONHopelessandhelplessdothAEgeonwend，Buttoprocrastinatehislifelessend。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。TheMart。EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuse，DROMIOofSyracuse，andFirstMerchantFirstMerchantThereforegiveoutyouareofEpidamnum，Lestthatyourgoodstoosoonbeconfiscate。
　　ThisverydayaSyracusianmerchantIsapprehendedforarrivalhere；
　　AndnotbeingabletobuyouthislifeAccordingtothestatuteofthetown，Dieserethewearysunsetinthewest。
　　ThereisyourmoneythatIhadtokeep。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEGobearittotheCentaur，wherewehost，Andstaythere，Dromio，tillIcometothee。
　　Withinthishouritwillbedinner-time：
　　Tillthat，I’llviewthemannersofthetown，Perusethetraders，gazeuponthebuildings，Andthenreturnandsleepwithinmineinn，ForwithlongtravelIamstiffandweary。
　　Gettheeaway。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEManyamanwouldtakeyouatyourword，Andgoindeed，havingsogoodamean。
　　ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAtrustyvillain，sir，thatveryoft，WhenIamdullwithcareandmelancholy，Lightensmyhumourwithhismerryjests。
　　What，willyouwalkwithmeaboutthetown，Andthengotomyinnanddinewithme？FirstMerchantIaminvited，sir，tocertainmerchants，OfwhomIhopetomakemuchbenefit；
　　Icraveyourpardon。Soonatfiveo’clock，Pleaseyou，I’llmeetwithyouuponthemartAndafterwardconsortyoutillbed-time：
　　Mypresentbusinesscallsmefromyounow。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEFarewelltillthen：IwillgolosemyselfAndwanderupanddowntoviewthecity。FirstMerchantSir，Icommendyoutoyourowncontent。
　　ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEHethatcommendsmetomineowncontentCommendsmetothethingIcannotget。
　　ItotheworldamlikeadropofwaterThatintheoceanseeksanotherdrop，Who，fallingtheretofindhisfellowforth，Unseen，inquisitive，confoundshimself：
　　SoI，tofindamotherandabrother，Inquestofthem，unhappy，losemyself。
　　EnterDROMIOofEphesusHerecomesthealmanacofmytruedate。
　　Whatnow？howchancethouartreturn’dsosoon？DROMIOOFEPHESUSReturn’dsosoon！ratherapproach’dtoolate：
　　Thecaponburns，thepigfallsfromthespit，Theclockhathstruckentwelveuponthebell；
　　Mymistressmadeitoneuponmycheek：
　　Sheissohotbecausethemeatiscold；
　　Themeatiscoldbecauseyoucomenothome；
　　Youcomenothomebecauseyouhavenostomach；
　　Youhavenostomachhavingbrokeyourfast；
　　Butwethatknowwhat’tistofastandprayArepenitentforyourdefaultto-day。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEStopinyourwind，sir：tellmethis，Ipray：
　　WherehaveyouleftthemoneythatIgaveyou？DROMIOOFEPHESUSO，——sixpence，thatIhado’WednesdaylastTopaythesaddlerformymistress’crupper？
　　Thesaddlerhadit，sir；Ikeptitnot。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIamnotinasportivehumournow：
　　Tellme，anddallynot，whereisthemoney？
　　Webeingstrangershere，howdarestthoutrustSogreatachargefromthineowncustody？DROMIOOFEPHESUSIprayyou，air，asyousitatdinner：
　　Ifrommymistresscometoyouinpost；
　　IfIreturn，Ishallbepostindeed，Forshewillscoreyourfaultuponmypate。
　　Methinksyourmaw，likemine，shouldbeyourclock，Andstrikeyouhomewithoutamessenger。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSECome，Dromio，come，thesejestsareoutofseason；
　　Reservethemtillamerrierhourthanthis。
　　WhereisthegoldIgaveinchargetothee？DROMIOOFEPHESUSTome，sir？why，yougavenogoldtome。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEComeon，sirknave，havedoneyourfoolishness，Andtellmehowthouhastdisposedthycharge。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMychargewasbuttofetchyoufromthemartHometoyourhouse，thePhoenix，sir，todinner：
　　Mymistressandhersisterstaysforyou。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEInwhatsafeplaceyouhavebestow’dmymoney，OrIshallbreakthatmerrysconceofyoursThatstandsontrickswhenIamundisposed：
　　Whereisthethousandmarksthouhadstofme？DROMIOOFEPHESUSIhavesomemarksofyoursuponmypate，Someofmymistress’marksuponmyshoulders，Butnotathousandmarksbetweenyouboth。
　　IfIshouldpayyourworshipthoseagain，Perchanceyouwillnotbearthempatiently。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThymistress’marks？whatmistress，slave，hastthou？DROMIOOFEPHESUSYourworship’swife，mymistressatthePhoenix；
　　Shethatdothfasttillyoucomehometodinner，Andpraysthatyouwillhieyouhometodinner。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhat，wiltthoufloutmethusuntomyface，Beingforbid？There，takeyouthat，sirknave。DROMIOOFEPHESUSWhatmeanyou，sir？forGod’ssake，holdyourhands！
　　Nay，andyouwillnot，sir，I’lltakemyheels。
　　ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEUponmylife，bysomedeviceorotherThevillainiso’er-raughtofallmymoney。
　　Theysaythistownisfullofcozenage，As，nimblejugglersthatdeceivetheeye，Dark-workingsorcerersthatchangethemind，Soul-killingwitchesthatdeformthebody，Disguisedcheaters，pratingmountebanks，Andmanysuch-likelibertiesofsin：
　　Ifitproveso，Iwillbegonethesooner。
　　I’lltotheCentaur，togoseekthisslave：
　　Igreatlyfearmymoneyisnotsafe。
　　ExitACTIISCENEI。ThehouseofANTIPHOLUSofEphesus。EnterADRIANAandLUCIANAADRIANANeithermyhusbandnortheslavereturn’d，ThatinsuchhasteIsenttoseekhismaster！
　　Sure，Luciana，itistwoo’clock。LUCIANAPerhapssomemerchanthathinvitedhim，Andfromthemarthe’ssomewheregonetodinner。
　　Goodsister，letusdineandneverfret：
　　Amanismasterofhisliberty：
　　Timeistheirmaster，and，whentheyseetime，They’llgoorcome：ifso，bepatient，sister。ADRIANAWhyshouldtheirlibertythanoursbemore？LUCIANABecausetheirbusinessstillliesouto’door。ADRIANALook，whenIservehimso，hetakesitill。LUCIANAO，knowheisthebridleofyourwill。ADRIANAThere’snonebutasseswillbebridledso。LUCIANAWhy，headstronglibertyislash’dwithwoe。
　　There’snothingsituateunderheaven’seyeButhathhisbound，inearth，insea，insky：
　　Thebeasts，thefishes，andthewingedfowls，Aretheirmales’subjectsandattheircontrols：
　　Men，moredivine，themastersofallthese，Lordsofthewideworldandwildwateryseas，Induedwithintellectualsenseandsouls，Ofmorepreeminencethanfishandfowls，Aremasterstotheirfemales，andtheirlords：
　　Thenletyourwillattendontheiraccords。ADRIANAThisservitudemakesyoutokeepunwed。LUCIANANotthis，buttroublesofthemarriage-bed。ADRIANABut，wereyouwedded，youwouldbearsomesway。LUCIANAEreIlearnlove，I’llpractisetoobey。ADRIANAHowifyourhusbandstartsomeotherwhere？LUCIANATillhecomehomeagain，Iwouldforbear。ADRIANAPatienceunmoved！nomarvelthoughshepause；
　　Theycanbemeekthathavenoothercause。
　　Awretchedsoul，bruisedwithadversity，Webidbequietwhenwehearitcry；
　　Butwereweburdenedwithlikeweightofpain，Asmuchormorewouldweourselvescomplain：
　　Sothou，thathastnounkindmatetogrievethee，Withurginghelplesspatiencewouldstrelieveme，But，ifthoulivetoseelikerightbereft，Thisfool-begg’dpatienceintheewillbeleft。LUCIANAWell，Iwillmarryoneday，buttotry。
　　Herecomesyourman；nowisyourhusbandnigh。
　　EnterDROMIOofEphesusADRIANASay，isyourtardymasternowathand？DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay，he’sattwohandswithme，andthatmytwoearscanwitness。ADRIANASay，didstthouspeakwithhim？know’stthouhismind？DROMIOOFEPHESUSAy，ay，hetoldhisminduponmineear：
　　Beshrewhishand，Iscarcecouldunderstandit。LUCIANASpakehesodoubtfully，thoucouldstnotfeelhismeaning？DROMIOOFEPHESUSNay，hestrucksoplainly，Icouldtoowellfeelhisblows；andwithalsodoubtfullythatIcouldscarceunderstandthem。ADRIANAButsay，Iprithee，ishecominghome？
　　Itseemshehathgreatcaretopleasehiswife。DROMIOOFEPHESUSWhy，mistress，suremymasterishorn-mad。ADRIANAHorn-mad，thouvillain！DROMIOOFEPHESUSImeannotcuckold-mad；
　　But，sure，heisstarkmad。
　　WhenIdesiredhimtocomehometodinner，Heask’dmeforathousandmarksingold：
　　’’Tisdinner-time，’quothI；’Mygold！’quothhe；
　　’Yourmeatdothburn，’quothI；’Mygold！’quothhe：
　　’Willyoucomehome？’quothI；’Mygold！’quothhe。
　　’WhereisthethousandmarksIgavethee，villain？’
　　’Thepig，’quothI，’isburn’d；’’Mygold！’quothhe：
　　’Mymistress，sir’quothI；’Hangupthymistress！
　　Iknownotthymistress；outonthymistress！’LUCIANAQuothwho？DROMIOOFEPHESUSQuothmymaster：
　　’Iknow，’quothhe，’nohouse，nowife，nomistress。’
　　Sothatmyerrand，dueuntomytongue，Ithankhim，Ibarehomeuponmyshoulders；
　　For，inconclusion，hedidbeatmethere。ADRIANAGobackagain，thouslave，andfetchhimhome。DROMIOOFEPHESUSGobackagain，andbenewbeatenhome？
　　ForGod’ssake，sendsomeothermessenger。ADRIANABack，slave，orIwillbreakthypateacross。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAndhewillblessthatcrosswithotherbeating：
　　BetweenyouIshallhaveaholyhead。ADRIANAHence，pratingpeasant！fetchthymasterhome。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAmIsoroundwithyouasyouwithme，Thatlikeafootballyoudospurnmethus？
　　Youspurnmehence，andhewillspurnmehither：
　　IfIlastinthisservice，youmustcasemeinleather。
　　ExitLUCIANAFie，howimpatiencelourethinyourface！ADRIANAHiscompanymustdohisminionsgrace，WhilstIathomestarveforamerrylook。
　　HathhomelyagethealluringbeautytookFrommypoorcheek？thenhehathwastedit：
　　Aremydiscoursesdull？barrenmywit？
　　Ifvolubleandsharpdiscoursebemarr’d，Unkindnessbluntsitmorethanmarblehard：
　　Dotheirgayvestmentshisaffectionsbait？
　　That’snotmyfault：he’smasterofmystate：
　　Whatruinsareinmethatcanbefound，Byhimnotruin’d？thenishethegroundOfmydefeatures。MydecayedfairAsunnylookofhiswouldsoonrepairBut，toounrulydeer，hebreaksthepaleAndfeedsfromhome；poorIambuthisstale。LUCIANASelf-harmingjealousy！fie，beatithence！ADRIANAUnfeelingfoolscanwithsuchwrongsdispense。
　　Iknowhiseyedothhomageotherwhere，Orelsewhatletsitbuthewouldbehere？
　　Sister，youknowhepromisedmeachain；
　　Wouldthatalone，alonehewoulddetain，Sohewouldkeepfairquarterwithhisbed！
　　IseethejewelbestenamelledWilllosehisbeauty；yetthegoldbidesstill，Thatotherstouch，andoftentouchingwillWeargold：andnomanthathathaname，Byfalsehoodandcorruptiondothitshame。
　　Sincethatmybeautycannotpleasehiseye，I’llweepwhat’sleftaway，andweepingdie。LUCIANAHowmanyfondfoolsservemadjealousy！
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Apublicplace。EnterANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThegoldIgavetoDromioislaidupSafeattheCentaur；andtheheedfulslaveIswander’dforth，incaretoseekmeoutBycomputationandminehost’sreport。
　　IcouldnotspeakwithDromiosinceatfirstIsenthimfromthemart。See，herehecomes。
　　EnterDROMIOofSyracuseHownowsir！isyourmerryhumouralter’d？
　　Asyoulovestrokes，sojestwithmeagain。
　　YouknownoCentaur？youreceivednogold？
　　Yourmistresssenttohavemehometodinner？
　　MyhousewasatthePhoenix？Wastthoumad，Thatthussomadlythoudidstanswerme？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEWhatanswer，sir？whenspakeIsuchaword？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEEvennow，evenhere，nothalfanhoursince。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIdidnotseeyousinceyousentmehence，HometotheCentaur，withthegoldyougaveme。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEVillain，thoudidstdenythegold’sreceipt，Andtold’stmeofamistressandadinner；
　　Forwhich，Ihope，thoufelt’stIwasdispleased。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIamgladtoseeyouinthismerryvein：
　　Whatmeansthisjest？Iprayyou，master，tellme。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEYea，dostthoujeerandfloutmeintheteeth？
　　Think’stthouIjest？Hold，takethouthat，andthat。
　　BeatinghimDROMIOOFSYRACUSEHold，sir，forGod’ssake！nowyourjestisearnest：
　　Uponwhatbargaindoyougiveitme？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEBecausethatIfamiliarlysometimesDouseyouformyfoolandchatwithyou，YoursaucinesswilljestuponmyloveAndmakeacommonofmyserioushours。
　　Whenthesunshinesletfoolishgnatsmakesport，Butcreepincrannieswhenhehideshisbeams。
　　Ifyouwilljestwithme，knowmyaspect，Andfashionyourdemeanortomylooks，OrIwillbeatthismethodinyoursconce。DROMIOOFSYRACUSESconcecallyouit？soyouwouldleavebattering，I
　　hadratherhaveitahead：anyouusetheseblowslong，Imustgetasconceformyheadandensconceittoo；orelseIshallseekmywitinmyshoulders。
　　But，Ipray，sirwhyamIbeaten？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEDostthounotknow？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENothing，sir，butthatIambeaten。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEShallItellyouwhy？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAy，sir，andwherefore；fortheysayeverywhyhathawherefore。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy，first，——forfloutingme；andthen，wherefore——
　　Forurgingitthesecondtimetome。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEWasthereeveranymanthusbeatenoutofseason，Wheninthewhyandthewhereforeisneitherrhymenorreason？
　　Well，sir，Ithankyou。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThankme，sir，forwhat？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，sir，forthissomethingthatyougavemefornothing。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEI’llmakeyouamendsnext，togiveyounothingforsomething。Butsay，sir，isitdinner-time？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo，sir；IthinkthemeatwantsthatI
　　have。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIngoodtime，sir；what’sthat？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEBasting。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWell，sir，then’twillbedry。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIfitbe，sir，Iprayyou，eatnoneofit。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEYourreason？DROMIOOFSYRACUSELestitmakeyoucholericandpurchasemeanotherdrybasting。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWell，sir，learntojestingoodtime：
　　there’satimeforallthings。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIdursthavedeniedthat，beforeyouweresocholeric。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEBywhatrule，sir？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，sir，byaruleasplainastheplainbaldpateoffatherTimehimself。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSELet’shearit。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEThere’snotimeforamantorecoverhishairthatgrowsbaldbynature。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEMayhenotdoitbyfineandrecovery？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEYes，topayafineforaperiwigandrecoverthelosthairofanotherman。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhyisTimesuchaniggardofhair，being，asitis，soplentifulanexcrement？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEBecauseitisablessingthathebestowsonbeasts；
　　andwhathehathscantedmeninhairhehathgiventheminwit。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy，butthere’smanyamanhathmorehairthanwit。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENotamanofthosebuthehaththewittolosehishair。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy，thoudidstconcludehairymenplaindealerswithoutwit。DROMIOOFSYRACUSETheplainerdealer，thesoonerlost：
　　yethelosethitinakindofjollity。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEForwhatreason？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEFortwo；andsoundonestoo。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENay，notsound，Iprayyou。DROMIOOFSYRACUSESureones，then。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENay，notsure，inathingfalsing。DROMIOOFSYRACUSECertainonesthen。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENamethem。DROMIOOFSYRACUSETheone，tosavethemoneythathespendsintrimming；theother，thatatdinnertheyshouldnotdropinhisporridge。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEYouwouldallthistimehaveprovedthereisnotimeforallthings。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，anddid，sir；namely，notimetorecoverhairlostbynature。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEButyourreasonwasnotsubstantial，whythereisnotimetorecover。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEThusImendit：Timehimselfisbaldandthereforetotheworld’sendwillhavebaldfollowers。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIknew’twouldbeabaldconclusion：
　　But，soft！whowaftsusyonder？
　　EnterADRIANAandLUCIANAADRIANAAy，ay，Antipholus，lookstrangeandfrown：
　　Someothermistresshaththysweetaspects；
　　IamnotAdriananorthywife。
　　ThetimewasoncewhenthouunurgedwouldstvowThatneverwordsweremusictothineear，Thatneverobjectpleasinginthineeye，Thatnevertouchwellwelcometothyhand，Thatnevermeatsweet-savor’dinthytaste，UnlessIspake，orlook’d，ortouch’d，orcarvedtothee。
　　Howcomesitnow，myhusband，O，howcomesit，Thatthouartthusestrangedfromthyself？
　　ThyselfIcallit，beingstrangetome，That，undividable，incorporate，Ambetterthanthydearself’sbetterpart。
　　Ah，donottearawaythyselffromme！
　　Forknow，mylove，aseasymayestthoufallAdropofwaterinthebreakinggulf，Andtakeunmingledthatsamedropagain，Withoutadditionordiminishing，Astakefrommethyselfandnotmetoo。
　　Howdearlywouldittouchmetothequick，ShouldstthoubuthearIwerelicentiousAndthatthisbody，consecratetothee，Byruffianlustshouldbecontaminate！
　　WouldstthounotspitatmeandspurnatmeAndhurlthenameofhusbandinmyfaceAndtearthestain’dskinoffmyharlot-browAndfrommyfalsehandcutthewedding-ringAndbreakitwithadeep-divorcingvow？
　　Iknowthoucanst；andthereforeseethoudoit。
　　Iampossess’dwithanadulterateblot；
　　Mybloodismingledwiththecrimeoflust：
　　Forifwetoobeoneandthouplayfalse，Idodigestthepoisonofthyflesh，Beingstrumpetedbythycontagion。
　　Keepthenfarleagueandtrucewiththytruebed；
　　Iliveunstain’d，thouundishonoured。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEPleadyoutome，fairdame？Iknowyounot：
　　InEphesusIambuttwohoursold，Asstrangeuntoyourtownastoyourtalk；
　　Who，everywordbyallmywitbeingscann’d，Wantwitinallonewordtounderstand。LUCIANAFie，brother！howtheworldischangedwithyou！
　　Whenwereyouwonttousemysisterthus？
　　ShesentforyoubyDromiohometodinner。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEByDromio？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEByme？ADRIANABythee；andthisthoudidstreturnfromhim，Thathedidbuffetthee，and，inhisblows，Deniedmyhouseforhis，meforhiswife。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEDidyouconverse，sir，withthisgentlewoman？
　　Whatisthecourseanddriftofyourcompact？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEI，sir？Ineversawhertillthistime。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEVillain，thouliest；forevenherverywordsDidstthoudelivertomeonthemart。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIneverspakewithherinallmylife。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEHowcanshethusthencallusbyournames，Unlessitbebyinspiration。ADRIANAHowillagreesitwithyourgravityTocounterfeitthusgrosslywithyourslave，Abettinghimtothwartmeinmymood！
　　Beitmywrongyouarefrommeexempt，Butwrongnotthatwrongwithamorecontempt。
　　Come，Iwillfastenonthissleeveofthine：
　　Thouartanelm，myhusband，Iavine，Whoseweakness，marriedtothystrongerstate，Makesmewiththystrengthtocommunicate：
　　Ifaughtpossesstheefromme，itisdross，Usurpingivy，brier，oridlemoss；
　　Who，allforwantofpruning，withintrusionInfectthysapandliveonthyconfusion。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSETomeshespeaks；shemovesmeforhertheme：
　　What，wasImarriedtoherinmydream？
　　OrsleepInowandthinkIhearallthis？
　　Whaterrordrivesoureyesandearsamiss？
　　UntilIknowthissureuncertainty，I’llentertaintheoffer’dfallacy。LUCIANADromio，gobidtheservantsspreadfordinner。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEO，formybeads！Icrossmeforasinner。
　　Thisisthefairyland：Ospiteofspites！
　　Wetalkwithgoblins，owlsandsprites：
　　Ifweobeythemnot，thiswillensue，They’llsuckourbreath，orpinchusblackandblue。LUCIANAWhypratestthoutothyselfandanswer’stnot？
　　Dromio，thoudrone，thousnail，thouslug，thousot！DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIamtransformed，master，amInot？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEIthinkthouartinmind，andsoamI。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENay，master，bothinmindandinmyshape。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThouhastthineownform。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo，Iamanape。LUCIANAIfthouartchangedtoaught，’tistoanass。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE’Tistrue；sheridesmeandIlongforgrass。
　　’Tisso，Iamanass；elseitcouldneverbeButIshouldknowheraswellassheknowsme。ADRIANACome，come，nolongerwillIbeafool，Toputthefingerintheeyeandweep，Whilstmanandmasterlaughmywoestoscorn。
　　Come，sir，todinner。Dromio，keepthegate。
　　Husband，I’lldineabovewithyouto-dayAndshriveyouofathousandidlepranks。
　　Sirrah，ifanyaskyouforyourmaster，Sayhedinesforth，andletnocreatureenter。
　　Come，sister。Dromio，playtheporterwell。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAmIinearth，inheaven，orinhell？
　　Sleepingorwaking？madorwell-advised？
　　Knownuntothese，andtomyselfdisguised！
　　I’llsayastheysayandperseverso，Andinthismistatalladventuresgo。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMaster，shallIbeporteratthegate？ADRIANAAy；andletnoneenter，lestIbreakyourpate。LUCIANACome，come，Antipholus，wedinetoolate。
　　ExeuntACTIIISCENEI。BeforethehouseofANTIPHOLUSofEphesus。EnterANTIPHOLUSofEphesus，DROMIOofEphesus，ANGELO，andBALTHAZARANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSGoodSigniorAngelo，youmustexcuseusall；
　　MywifeisshrewishwhenIkeepnothours：
　　SaythatIlinger’dwithyouatyourshopToseethemakingofhercarcanet，Andthatto-morrowyouwillbringithome。
　　Buthere’savillainthatwouldfacemedownHemetmeonthemart，andthatIbeathim，Andchargedhimwithathousandmarksingold，AndthatIdiddenymywifeandhouse。
　　Thoudrunkard，thou，whatdidstthoumeanbythis？DROMIOOFEPHESUSSaywhatyouwill，sir，butIknowwhatIknow；
　　Thatyoubeatmeatthemart，Ihaveyourhandtoshow：
　　Iftheskinwereparchment，andtheblowsyougavewereink，YourownhandwritingwouldtellyouwhatIthink。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSIthinkthouartanass。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMarry，soitdothappearBythewrongsIsufferandtheblowsIbear。
　　Ishouldkick，beingkick’d；and，beingatthatpass，Youwouldkeepfrommyheelsandbewareofanass。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYou’resad，SigniorBalthazar：prayGodourcheerMayanswermygoodwillandyourgoodwelcomehere。BALTHAZARIholdyourdaintiescheap，sir，andyourwelcomedear。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSO，SigniorBalthazar，eitheratfleshorfish，Atablefullofwelcomemakescarceonedaintydish。BALTHAZARGoodmeat，sir，iscommon；thateverychurlaffords。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAndwelcomemorecommon；forthat’snothingbutwords。BALTHAZARSmallcheerandgreatwelcomemakesamerryfeast。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAy，toaniggardlyhost，andmoresparingguest：
　　Butthoughmycatesbemean，takethemingoodpart；
　　Bettercheermayyouhave，butnotwithbetterheart。
　　But，soft！mydoorislock’d。Gobidthemletusin。DROMIOOFEPHESUSMaud，Bridget，Marian，Cicel，Gillian，Ginn！DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Mome，malt-horse，capon，coxcomb，idiot，patch！
　　Eithergettheefromthedoor，orsitdownatthehatch。
　　Dostthouconjureforwenches，thatthoucall’stforsuchstore，Whenoneisonetoomany？Go，gettheefromthedoor。DROMIOOFEPHESUSWhatpatchismadeourporter？Mymasterstaysinthestreet。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Lethimwalkfromwhencehecame，lesthecatchcoldon’sfeet。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhotalkswithinthere？ho，openthedoor！DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Right，sir；I’lltellyouwhen，anyoutellmewherefore。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWherefore？formydinner：Ihavenotdinedto-day。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Norto-dayhereyoumustnot；
　　comeagainwhenyoumay。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWhatartthouthatkeepestmeoutfromthehouseIowe？DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Theporterforthistime，sir，andmynameisDromio。DROMIOOFEPHESUSOvillain！thouhaststolenbothmineofficeandmyname。
　　Theonene’ergotmecredit，theothermickleblame。
　　IfthouhadstbeenDromioto-dayinmyplace，Thouwouldsthavechangedthyfaceforanameorthynameforanass。LUCE[Within]Whatacoilisthere，Dromio？
　　whoarethoseatthegate？DROMIOOFEPHESUSLetmymasterin，Luce。LUCE[Within]Faith，no；hecomestoolate；
　　Andsotellyourmaster。DROMIOOFEPHESUSOLord，Imustlaugh！
　　Haveatyouwithaproverb——ShallIsetinmystaff？LUCE[Within]Haveatyouwithanother；that’s——When？
　　canyoutell？DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Ifthynamebecall’dLuce——Luce，thouhastansweredhimwell。ANTIPHOLUSDoyouhear，youminion？you’llletusin，Ihope？
　　OFEPHESUSLUCE[Within]Ithoughttohaveaskedyou。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Andyousaidno。DROMIOOFEPHESUSSo，come，help：wellstruck！therewasblowforblow。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThoubaggage，letmein。LUCE[Within]Canyoutellforwhosesake？DROMIOOFEPHESUSMaster，knockthedoorhard。LUCE[Within]Lethimknocktillitache。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYou’llcryforthis，minion，ifIbeatthedoordown。LUCE[Within]Whatneedsallthat，andapairofstocksinthetown？ADRIANA[Within]Whoisthatatthedoorthatkeepsallthisnoise？DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Bymytroth，yourtownistroubledwithunrulyboys。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSAreyouthere，wife？youmighthavecomebefore。ADRIANA[Within]Yourwife，sirknave！gogetyoufromthedoor。DROMIOOFEPHESUSIfyouwentinpain，master，this’knave’
　　wouldgosore。ANGELOHereisneithercheer，sir，norwelcome：
　　wewouldfainhaveeither。BALTHAZARIndebatingwhichwasbest，weshallpartwithneither。DROMIOOFEPHESUSTheystandatthedoor，master；bidthemwelcomehither。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSThereissomethinginthewind，thatwecannotgetin。DROMIOOFEPHESUSYouwouldsayso，master，ifyourgarmentswerethin。
　　Yourcakethereiswarmwithin；youstandhereinthecold：
　　Itwouldmakeamanmadasabuck，tobesoboughtandsold。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSGofetchmesomething：I’llbreakopethegate。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Breakanybreakinghere，andI’llbreakyourknave’spate。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAmanmaybreakawordwithyou，sir，andwordsarebutwind，Ay，andbreakitinyourface，sohebreakitnotbehind。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Itseemsthouwant’stbreaking：
　　outuponthee，hind！DROMIOOFEPHESUSHere’stoomuch’outuponthee！’Ipraythee，letmein。DROMIOOFSYRACUSE[Within]Ay，whenfowlshavenofeathersandfishhavenofin。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSWell，I’llbreakin：goborrowmeacrow。DROMIOOFEPHESUSAcrowwithoutfeather？Master，meanyouso？
　　Forafishwithoutafin，there’safowlwithoutafeather；
　　Ifacrowhelpusin，sirrah，we’llpluckacrowtogether。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSGogettheegone；fetchmeanironcrow。BALTHAZARHavepatience，sir；O，letitnotbeso！
　　HereinyouwaragainstyourreputationAnddrawwithinthecompassofsuspectTheunviolatedhonourofyourwife。
　　Oncethis，——yourlongexperienceofherwisdom，Hersobervirtue，yearsandmodesty，Pleadonherpartsomecausetoyouunknown：
　　Anddoubtnot，sir，butshewillwellexcuseWhyatthistimethedoorsaremadeagainstyou。
　　Beruledbyme：departinpatience，AndletustotheTigeralltodinner，AndabouteveningcomeyourselfaloneToknowthereasonofthisstrangerestraint。
　　IfbystronghandyouoffertobreakinNowinthestirringpassageoftheday，Avulgarcommentwillbemadeofit，AndthatsupposedbythecommonroutAgainstyouryetungalledestimationThatmaywithfoulintrusionenterinAnddwelluponyourgravewhenyouaredead；
　　Forslanderlivesuponsuccession，Foreverhousedwhereitgetspossession。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSYouhaveprevailed：Iwilldepartinquiet，And，indespiteofmirth，meantobemerry。
　　Iknowawenchofexcellentdiscourse，Prettyandwitty；wild，andyet，too，gentle：
　　Therewillwedine。ThiswomanthatImean，Mywife——but，Iprotest，withoutdesert——
　　Hathoftentimesupbraidedmewithal：
　　Toherwillwetodinner。
　　ToAngeloGetyouhomeAndfetchthechain；bythisIknow’tismade：
　　Bringit，Iprayyou，tothePorpentine；
　　Forthere’sthehouse：thatchainwillIbestow——
　　Beitfornothingbuttospitemywife——
　　Uponminehostessthere：goodsir，makehaste。
　　Sincemineowndoorsrefusetoentertainme，I’llknockelsewhere，toseeifthey’lldisdainme。ANGELOI’llmeetyouatthatplacesomehourhence。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFEPHESUSDoso。Thisjestshallcostmesomeexpense。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Thesame。EnterLUCIANAandANTIPHOLUSofSyracuseLUCIANAAndmayitbethatyouhavequiteforgotAhusband’soffice？shall，Antipholus。
　　Eveninthespringoflove，thylove-springsrot？
　　Shalllove，inbuilding，growsoruinous？
　　Ifyoudidwedmysisterforherwealth，Thenforherwealth’ssakeuseherwithmorekindness：
　　Orifyoulikeelsewhere，doitbystealth；
　　Muffleyourfalselovewithsomeshowofblindness：
　　Letnotmysisterreaditinyoureye；
　　Benotthytonguethyownshame’sorator；
　　Looksweet，befair，becomedisloyalty；
　　Apparelvicelikevirtue’sharbinger；
　　Bearafairpresence，thoughyourheartbetainted；
　　Teachsinthecarriageofaholysaint；
　　Besecret-false：whatneedshebeacquainted？
　　Whatsimplethiefbragsofhisownattaint？
　　’Tisdoublewrong，totruantwithyourbedAndletherreaditinthylooksatboard：
　　Shamehathabastardfame，wellmanaged；
　　Illdeedsaredoubledwithanevilword。
　　Alas，poorwomen！makeusbutbelieve，Beingcompactofcredit，thatyouloveus；
　　Thoughothershavethearm，showusthesleeve；
　　Weinyourmotionturnandyoumaymoveus。
　　Then，gentlebrother，getyouinagain；
　　Comfortmysister，cheerher，callherwife：
　　’Tisholysporttobealittlevain，Whenthesweetbreathofflatteryconquersstrife。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSESweetmistress——whatyournameiselse，Iknownot，Norbywhatwonderyoudohitofmine，——
　　LessinyourknowledgeandyourgraceyoushownotThanourearth’swonder，morethanearthdivine。
　　Teachme，dearcreature，howtothinkandspeak；
　　Layopentomyearthy-grossconceit，Smother’dinerrors，feeble，shallow，weak，Thefoldedmeaningofyourwords’deceit。
　　Againstmysoul’spuretruthwhylabouryouTomakeitwanderinanunknownfield？
　　Areyouagod？wouldyoucreatemenew？
　　Transformmethen，andtoyourpowerI’llyield。
　　ButifthatIamI，thenwellIknowYourweepingsisterisnowifeofmine，NortoherbednohomagedoIoweFarmore，farmoretoyoudoIdecline。
　　O，trainmenot，sweetmermaid，withthynote，Todrownmeinthysister’sfloodoftears：
　　Sing，siren，forthyselfandIwilldote：
　　Spreado’erthesilverwavesthygoldenhairs，AndasabedI’lltakethemandtherelie，AndinthatglorioussuppositionthinkHegainsbydeaththathathsuchmeanstodie：
　　LetLove，beinglight，bedrownedifshesink！LUCIANAWhat，areyoumad，thatyoudoreasonso？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENotmad，butmated；how，Idonotknow。LUCIANAItisafaultthatspringethfromyoureye。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEForgazingonyourbeams，fairsun，beingby。LUCIANAGazewhereyoushould，andthatwillclearyoursight。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAsgoodtowink，sweetlove，aslookonnight。LUCIANAWhycallyoumelove？callmysisterso。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThysister’ssister。LUCIANAThat’smysister。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSENo；
　　Itisthyself，mineownself’sbetterpart，Mineeye’scleareye，mydearheart’sdearerheart，Myfood，myfortuneandmysweethope’saim，Mysoleearth’sheavenandmyheaven’sclaim。LUCIANAAllthismysisteris，orelseshouldbe。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSECallthyselfsister，sweet，forIamthee。
　　TheewillIloveandwiththeeleadmylife：
　　ThouhastnohusbandyetnorInowife。
　　Givemethyhand。LUCIANAO，soft，air！holdyoustill：
　　I’llfetchmysister，togethergoodwill。
　　ExitEnterDROMIOofSyracuseANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhy，hownow，Dromio！whererunn’stthousofast？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEDoyouknowme，sir？amIDromio？amI
　　yourman？
　　amImyself？
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThouartDromio，thouartmyman，thouartthyself。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIamanass，Iamawoman’smanandbesidesmyself。ANTIPHOLUSWhatwoman’sman？andhowbesidesthyself？
　　besidesthyself？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，sir，besidesmyself，Iamduetoawoman；onethatclaimsme，onethathauntsme，onethatwillhaveme。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatclaimlaysshetothee？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarrysir，suchclaimasyouwouldlaytoyourhorse；andshewouldhavemeasabeast：notthat，I
　　beingabeast，shewouldhaveme；butthatshe，beingaverybeastlycreature，laysclaimtome。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatisshe？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAveryreverentbody；ay，suchaoneasamanmaynotspeakofwithouthesay’Sir-reverence。’
　　Ihavebutleanluckinthematch，andyetissheawondrousfatmarriage。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEHowdostthoumeanafatmarriage？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，sir，she’sthekitchenwenchandallgrease；
　　andIknownotwhatusetoputhertobuttomakealampofherandrunfromherbyherownlight。
　　I
　　warrant，herragsandthetallowinthemwillburnaPolandwinter：ifshelivestilldoomsday，she’llburnaweeklongerthanthewholeworld。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatcomplexionissheof？DROMIOOFSYRACUSESwart，likemyshoe，butherfacenothinghalfsocleankept：forwhy，shesweats；amanmaygoovershoesinthegrimeofit。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThat’safaultthatwaterwillmend。DROMIOOFSYRACUSENo，sir，’tisingrain；Noah’sfloodcouldnotdoit。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhat’shername？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENell，sir；buthernameandthreequarters，that’sanellandthreequarters，willnotmeasureherfromhiptohip。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThenshebearssomebreadth？DROMIOOFSYRACUSENolongerfromheadtofootthanfromhiptohip：
　　sheisspherical，likeaglobe；Icouldfindoutcountriesinher。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEInwhatpartofherbodystandsIreland？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEMarry，inherbuttocks：Ifounditoutbythebogs。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhereScotland？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIfounditbythebarrenness；hardinthepalmofthehand。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhereFrance？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEInherforehead；armedandreverted，makingwaragainstherheir。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhereEngland？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEIlookedforthechalkycliffs，butI
　　couldfindnowhitenessinthem；butIguessitstoodinherchin，bythesaltrheumthatranbetweenFranceandit。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhereSpain？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEFaith，Isawitnot；butIfeltithotinherbreath。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhereAmerica，theIndies？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEOh，sir，uponhernoseallo’erembellishedwithrubies，carbuncles，sapphires，decliningtheirrichaspecttothehotbreathofSpain；whosentwholearmadoesofcarackstobeballastathernose。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWherestoodBelgia，theNetherlands？DROMIOOFSYRACUSEOh，sir，Ididnotlooksolow。Toconclude，thisdrudge，ordiviner，laidclaimtome，call’dmeDromio；sworeIwasassuredtoher；toldmewhatprivymarksIhadaboutme，as，themarkofmyshoulder，themoleinmyneck，thegreatwartonmyleftarm，thatIamazedranfromherasawitch：
　　And，Ithink，ifmybreasthadnotbeenmadeoffaithandmyheartofsteel，Shehadtransform’dmetoacurtaldogandmademeturni’thewheel。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEGohietheepresently，posttotheroad：
　　Anifthewindblowanywayfromshore，Iwillnotharbourinthistownto-night：
　　Ifanybarkputforth，cometothemart，WhereIwillwalktillthoureturntome。
　　Ifeveryoneknowsusandweknownone，’Tistime，Ithink，totrudge，packandbegone。DROMIOOFSYRACUSEAsfromabearamanwouldrunforlife，SoflyIfromherthatwouldbemywife。
　　ExitANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEThere’snonebutwitchesdoinhabithere；
　　Andtherefore’tishightimethatIwerehence。
　　Shethatdothcallmehusband，evenmysoulDothforawifeabhor。Butherfairsister，Possess’dwithsuchagentlesovereigngrace，Ofsuchenchantingpresenceanddiscourse，Hathalmostmademetraitortomyself：
　　But，lestmyselfbeguiltytoself-wrong，I’llstopmineearsagainstthemermaid’ssong。
　　EnterANGELOwiththechainANGELOMasterAntipholus，——
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEAy，that’smyname。ANGELOIknowitwell，sir，lo，hereisthechain。
　　Ithoughttohaveta’enyouatthePorpentine：
　　Thechainunfinish’dmademestaythuslong。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEWhatisyourwillthatIshalldowiththis？ANGELOWhatpleaseyourself，sir：Ihavemadeitforyou。
　　ANTIPHOLUSOFSYRACUSEMadeitforme，sir！Ibespokeitnot。ANGELONotonce，nortwice，buttwentytimesyouhave。
　　Gohomewithitandpleaseyourwifewithal；
　　Andsoonatsupper-timeI’llvisityouAndthenreceivemymoneyforthechain。