Butjudgesnonearefit,Shameitis,shameitis,ThattwicesevenyearsdidsitTogivehemp-stringdome;
Thefriendtheywouldbefriend,ThathemightintheendTothemlikefavourlend,Inhisownkingdome。
Sword-men,itmustbeyou,Boldlyto't,boldlyto't,Mustgivethediverhisdue;
Doitnotfaintly,ButasyouraisedbyspellLastParliamentfromhell,AnditagaindidquellOmnipotently。
Thechargetheywiselyframe(Onwithit,onwithit)
InthatyetunknownnameOfsupreampower;
WhilesixweekshencebyvoteShallbeoritshallnot,WhenMonk'stoLondongot(48)
Inagoodhour。
Buttwelvegoodmenandtrue,Caveliers,Caveliers,Heexceptsagainstyou;
Justicehefears。
FrombarandpulpitheeCravessuchasdoforfeeServeallturns,forhe'lbeTry'dbyhispeers。
Satan,y'areguiltyfoundByyourpeers,byyourpeers,Andmustdieaboveground!
Lookfornopity;
Someofourministry,Whosespir'tswithyourscomply,AsOwen,Caryl,Nye,(49)
Fordeathshallfit'ee。
Dreadjudges,mineownlimbIbuttook,Ibuttook,IwasforcedwithouthimTouseacrutch;
SomeoftherobecantellHowtosupplyfullwellHisplacehere,butinhellIhadnonesuch。
Divel,youareanasse,Plainitis,plainitis,Andweaklypleadthecase;
Yourwitsarelost。
Somelawyerswilloutdo't,Whenshortlytheycometo't;
Yourcraft,ourgoldtoboot,Theyhaveingross'd。
Shouldallmentaketheirright,Well-a-day,well-a-day,Wewereinasadplight,O'th'holyparty!
SuchpractisehathascentOfkinglygovernment,Againstitwearebent,Outofhomechar'ty。
ButifIdie,whoamKingofhell,Kingofhell,Youwillnotquenchitsflame,Butfinditworse:
ConfusedanarchyWillanewtormentbe;
Ne'rdidthesekingdomsthreeFeelsuchacurse。
Toourpromotion,sir,Thereashere,thereashere,ThroughsomeconfusedstirDoththehigh-roadlie;
InhellweneednotfearNorKingnorCavalier,WhothenshalldominereButwethegodly?
Truth,then,sirs,whichofoldWasmyshame,wasmyshame,Shallnowtoyoursbetold:
Youcausedhisdeath;
ThehousebeingbrokenbyYourselves(there'sburglary),Wrathenter'dforcibly,Andstopthisbreath。
Sir,asourpresident,Taughtbyyou,taughtbyyou,'GainsttheKingawaywentMoststrangeandnew;
CharginghimwiththeguiltOfalltheblondwespilt,Withswordsuptothehilt,Sowe'leserveyou。
FormercythenIcall,Goodmylords,goodmylords,AndtraytorsI'leleaveallDulytoendit;
Sir,sir,'tisfrivolous,Aswellforyouasus,Tobegformercythus,-
Ourcrimestranscendit。
Youmustdieoutofhand,Satanas,Satanas:
ThisourdecreeshallstandWithoutcontroll;
Andweforyouwillpray,BecausetheScripturessay,Whensomemencurseyou,theyCursetheirownsoul。
ThefiendtoTiburn'sgone,Theretodie,theretodie;
Blackisthenorth,anonGreatstormswillbe;
ThereforetogethernowIleavehimandth'gallow,-
So,newes-man,take'emnow,Soonthey'ltakethee。
Finis,Fustis,Funis。
Ballad:ANewBalladToAnOldTune,-TomOfBedlamJanuary17th,1659-FromtheKing'sBallads,BritishMuseum。
Makeroomforanhonestred-coat(Andthatyou'llsay'sawonder),ThegunandthebladeArethetools,andhistradeIs,forPAY,toKILLandPLUNDER。
Thenawaywiththelaws,Andthe"GoodoldCause;"
Ne'ertalkoftheRumportheCharter;
'Tisthecashdoesthefeat,Alltherest'sbutacheat,WithoutTHATthere'snofaithnorquarter。
'Tisthemarkofourcoin"GODWITHUS,"
AndthegraceoftheLordgoesalongwith't。
WhentheGEORGESareflownThentheCausegoesdown,FortheLordhasdepartedfromit。
Thenaway,etc。
ForRome,orforGeneva,Forthetableorthealtar,Thisspawnofavote,Hecaresnotagroat-
ForthePENCEhe'syourdoginahalter,Thenaway,etc。
Tho'thenameofKingorBishopTonostrilspuremaybeloathsome,YetmanythereareThatagreewiththeMay'r,Thattheirlandsarewondroustoothsome。
Thenaway,etc。
Whenourmastersarepoorweleave'em,'TistheGoldenCalfwebowto;
WekillandweslayNotforconscience,butpay;
GiveusTHAT,we'llfightforyoutoo。
Thenaway,etc。
'TwasTHATfirstturn'dtheKingout;
TheLordsnext;thentheCommons:
'TwasthatkeptupNoll,TilltheDevilfetch'dhissoul,AndthenitsettheRUMPon's。
Thenaway,etc。
DrunkenDickwasalameProtector,AndFleetwoodaback-slider;
Theseweservedastherest,ButtheCity'sthebeastThatwillnevercastherrider。
Thenaway,etc。
WhentheMayorholdsthestirrupAndtheShrievescry,Godsaveyourhonours;
Then'tisbutajumpAndupgoestheRump,ThatwillspurtotheDeviluponus。
Thenaway,etc。
Andnowforflingatyourthimbles,Yourbodkins,rings,andwhistles;
IntruckforyourtoysWe'llfityouwithboys('TisthedoctrineofHugh'sEPISTLES)。
Thenaway,etc。
Whenyourplateisgone,andyourjewels,YoumustbenextentreatedTopartwithyourbags,Andtostripyoutorags,Andyetnotthinkyou'recheated。
Thenaway,etc。
Thetruthis,thetowndeservesit,'Tisabrainless,heartlessmonster:
Ataclubtheymaybawl,Ordeclareattheirhall,Andyetatapushnotonestir。
Thenaway,etc。
SirArthurvow'dhe'lltreat'emFarworsethanthemenofChester;
He'sboldnowthey'recow'd,ButhewasnothingsoloudWhenhelayintheditchatLester。
Thenaway,etc。
TheLordhasleftJohnLambert,Andthespirit,Feak'sanointed;
Butwhy,OLord,Hastthousheath'dthysword?
Lo!thysaintsaredisappointed。
Thenaway,etc。
ThoughSirHenrybedeparted,SirJohnmakesgoodtheplacenow;
AndtohelpouttheworkOfthegloriousKirk,Ourbrethrenmarchapacetoo。
Thenaway,etc。
Whilstdivinesandstatesmenwrangle,LettheRump-riddennationbiteon't;
TherearenonebutweThataresuretogofree,Forthesoldier'sstillintherighton't。
Thenaway,etc。
Ifourmasterswon'tsupplyusWithmoney,food,andclothing,LettheStatelookto't,We'llfindonethatwilldo't,Lethimlive-wewillnotdamn。
Thenaway,etc。
Ballad:SaintGeorgeAndTheDragon,AngliceMercuriusPoeticus"Thefollowingballad,"saysMrWrightinthePoliticalBalladsoftheCommonwealth,publishedforthePercySociety,"waswrittenontheoccasionoftheoverthrowoftheRumpbyMonck。HearrivedinLondononthethirdofFebruary,andprofessedhimselfadeterminedsupporterofthepartythenuppermost。Ontheninthandtenthheexecutedtheirordersagainstthecity;butsuddenlyontheeleventhhejoinedthecityandthePresbyterianparty,anddemandedthereadmissionofthememberswhoweresecludedformerlyfromtheLongParliament。ThismeasureputanendtothereignoftheRump,andimmediatelyafterwardstheParliamentdissolveditself,andanewonewascalled-(February28th,1659。)"-AllthenotestothisBalladarefromthepenofMrWright。
Tothetuneof"TheOldCourtieroftheQueen's,"etc。
News!news!here'stheoccurrencesandanewMercurius,AdialoguebetwixtHaselriggthebaffledandArthurthefurious;
WithIreton's(50)readingsuponlegitimateandspurious,Provingthatasaintmaybethesonofawhore,forthesatisfactionofthecurious。
FromaRumpinsatiateasthesea,Liberanos,Domine。
Here'sthetruereasonofthecitie'sinfatuation,Iretonhasmadeitdrunkwiththecupofabomination;
Thatis,thecupofthewhore,aftertheGenevaInterpretation,WhichwiththejuyceofTitchburn'sgrapes(51)mustneedscauseintoxication。
FromaRump,etc。
Here'stheWhipperwhiptbyafriendtoGeorge,thatwhipp'dJack,(52)thatwhipp'dthebreech,Thatwhipp'dthenationaslongasitcouldstandoverit-afterwhichItwasitselfre-jerk'dbythesageauthorofthisspeech:
"MethinksaRumpshouldgoaswellwithaScotchspuraswithaswitch。"
FromaRump,etc。
ThisRumphathmanyarottenandunrulymember;
"Givethegeneralltheoath!"criesone(buthisconsciencebeingalittletender);
"I'llabjureyouwithapestilence!"quothGeorge,"andmakeyourememberThe'leaventhofFebruary(53)longerthanthefifthofNovember!"
FromaRump,etc。
Withthat,Monkleaves(inRumpassembled)thethreeestates,Butoh!howthecitizenshugg'dhimforbreakingdowntheirgates,Fortearinguptheirpostsandchaynes,andforclappinguptheirmates(54)
(Whentheysawthathebroughtthemplastersfortheirbrokenpates)。
FromaRump,etc。
Intruththisruffleputthetowningreatdisorder,Someknaves(inoffice)smiled,expecting'twouldgofurder;
Butatthelast,"Mylifeon't!GeorgeisnoRumper,"saidtheRecorder,"Forthereneverwaseitherhonestmanormonkofthatorder。"
FromaRump,etc。
Andsoitproved;for,"Gentlemen,"saysthegeneral,"I'llmakeyouamends;
Ourgreetingwasalittleuntoward,butwe'llpartfriends;
Alittletimeshallshowyouwhichwaymydesigntends,Andthat,besidesthegoodofChurchandState,Ihavenootherends。"
FromaRump,etc。
HisExcellencehadnosoonerpass'dthisdeclarationandpromise,ButinstepsSecretaryScot,theRump'smanThomas,WithLuke,theirlameevangelist(theDevilkeep'umfromus!)(55)
ToshewMonkwhatpreciousmembersofChurchandStatetheBummhas。
FromaRump,etc。
Andnowcomesthesupplicationofthemembersundertherod:
"Nay,myLord!"cryesthebrewer'sclerk;"good,myLord,fortheloveofGod!
Consideryourself,us,andthispoornation,andthattyrantabroad;
Don'tleaveus:"-butGeorgegavehimashrugginsteadofanodd。
FromaRump,etc。
Thismortalsilencewasfollowedwithamosthideousnoyse,OffreeParliamentbellsandRump-confoundingboyes,Crying,"Cuttherogues!singetheirtayles!"when,withalowvoyce,"Fireandsword!bythislight,"cryesTom,"Letslooktoourtoyes!"
FromaRump,etc。
Neverwerewretchedmembersinsosadaplight;
Somewerebroyl'd,sometoasted,othersburntoutright;(56)
NayagainstRumpssopittylessewastheirrageandspite,Thatnotacitizenwouldkissehiswifethatnight。
FromaRump,etc。
Bythistimedeathandhellappear'dintheghastlylooksOfScotandRobinson(thoselegislativerooks);
AnditmustneedsputtheRumpmostdamnablyoffthehooksToseethatwhenGodhassentmeattheDevilshouldsendcooks。
FromaRump,etc。
ButProvidence,theiroldfriend,broughtthesesaintsoffatlast,Andthroughthepikesandtheflamesundismember'dtheypast,Although(Godwet)withmanystruglingsandmuchhast,-
For,members,ornomembers,wasbutameasuringcast。
FromaRump,etc。
BeingcometoWhitehall,there'sthedismalmone,"LetMonkbedamn'd!"criesArthurinaterribletone(57)-
"Thattraytor,andthosecuckoldyroguesthatsethimon!"
(Buttho'theknightspitsblood,'tisobservedthathedrawsnone。)
FromaRump,etc。
"Theplaguebawleyou!"criesHarryMartin,"youhavebroughtustothiscondition,(58)
Youmustbecantingandbeplagued,withyourBarebonespetition,(59)
Andtakeinthatbull-headed,splay-footedmemberofthecircumcision,Thatbacon-facedJew,Corbet,(60)thatsonofperdition!"
FromaRump,etc。
Theninstepsdriv'lingMounsontotakeupthesquabble,Thatlordwhichfirsttaughttheuseofthewooddendaggerandladle:(61)
Hethatout-doesJackPudding(62)atacustardoracaudle,AndwerethebestfooleinEuropebutthathewantsabauble。
FromaRump,etc。
Morewassaidtolittlepurpose,-thenextnewsis,adeclarationFromtheRump,forafreestateaccordingtothecovenantofthenation,AndafreeParliamentunderoathandqualification,Wherenoneshallbeelectbutmembersofreprobation。
FromaRump,&c。
Here'sthetailfirk'd,apieceactedlatelywithgreatapplause,WithapleafortheprerogativebreechandtheGoodoldCause,ProvingthatRumpsandmembersareantienterthanlaws,Andthatabummedividedisnevertheworsefortheflawes。
FromaRump,etc。
Butallthingshavetheirperiodandfate,AnActofParliamentdissolvesaRumpofstate,Membersgrowweak,andtaylesthemselvesrunoutofdate,Andyetthoushaltnotdye(dearbreech),thyfameI'llcelebrate。
FromaRump,etc。
HereliesapackofsaintsthatdidtheirsoulsandcountrysellFordirt,theDevilwastheirgoodlord,himtheyservedwell;
Byhisadvicetheystoodandacted,andbyhispresidenttheyfell(LikeLucifer),makingbutonestepbetwixtheavenandhell。
FromaRumpinsatiateastheseaLiberastinos,Domine。
Ballad:TheSecondPartOfStGeorgeForEnglandTothetuneof"Todrivethecoldwinteraway。"(March7,1659。)
NowtheRumpisconfoundedThere'sanendoftheRoundhead,Whohathbeensuchabanetoournation;
Hehathnowplay'dhispart,And'sgoneoutlikeaf-,Togetherwithhisreformation;
ForbyhisgoodfavourHehathleftabadsavour;
But'snomatter,we'lltrusthimnomore。
KingsandqueensmayappearOnceagaininoursphere,Nowtheknavesareturn'doutofdoor,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
Scot,Nevil,andVane,Withtherestofthattrain,AreintoOceana(63)fled;
SirArthurthebrave,That'sasarrantaknave,HasHarrington'sRotain'shead;(64)
Buthee'snowfullofcaresForhisfoalsandhismares,Aswhenhewasroutedbefore;
ButIthinkhedespairs,Byhisarmsorhisprayers,TosetuptheRumpanymore,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
IshouldneverhavethoughtThatamonkcouldhavewroughtSuchareformationsosoon;
ThatHousewhichoflateWasthejakesofourstateWillerelongbeahouseofrenown。
HowgoodwitsdidjumpInabusingtheRump,WhilsttheHousewasprestbytherabble;
ButourHercules,Monk,Thoughitgrievouslystunk,NowhathcleansedthatAugeanstable,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
AndnowMrPrynne(65)
Withtherestmaycomein,Andtaketheirplacesagain;
FortheHouseismadesweetForthosememberstomeet,ThoughpartoftheRumpyetremain;
Norneedtheytofear,Thoughhisbreechesbethere,Whichwerewrong'dbothbehindandbefore;
Forhesaith'twasachance,Andforgivehimthisonce,Andheswearshewilldosonomore,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
'TistruetherearesomeWhoarestillfortheBum;
Suchtareswillgrowupwiththewheat;
Andtheretheywillbe,tillaParliamentcomeThatcangivethematotaldefeat。
ButyetIamtoldThattheRumpersdoholdThatthesaintsmayswimwiththetyde;
Norcanitbetreason,ButScriptureandreason,Stilltoclosewiththestrongerside,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
Thoselawyerso'th'House-
AsBaronWild-goose,(66)
WithTreasonHill,Whitlock,andSay-
WerethebaneofourlawsAndourGoodoldCause,And'twerewellifsuchwereaway。
Somemoretherearetoblame,WhomIcarenottoname,Thataremenoftheverysameranks;
'Mongstwhomthereisone,ThattoDevilBareboneForhisuglypetitiongavethanks,Anddrivethecoldwinteraway。
ButIhopebythistimeHe'llconfess'twasacrimeToabetsuchadamnablecrew;
WhosepetitionwasdrawnByAlcoranVane,OrelsebyCorbettheJew。(67)
ByityoumayknowWhattheRumpmeanttodo,Andwhatareligiontoframe;
So'twastimeforStGeorgeThatRumptodisgorge,Andtosenditfromwhenceitfirstcame;
Thendrivethecoldwinteraway。
Ballad:ANew-Year'sGiftForTheRump(January1659-60。)-Fromabroadside,vol。xv。intheKing'sPamphlets。
"TheconditionoftheStatewasthus:viz。theRump,afterbeingdisturbedbymyLordLambert,waslatelyreturnedtositagain。
Theofficersofthearmyallforcedtoyield。Lawsonliesstillintheriver,andMonkiswithhisarmyinScotland。OnlymyLordLambertisnotyetcomeintotheParliament,norisitexpectedthathewillwithoutbeingforcedtoit。ThenewCommonCouncilofthecitydospeakveryhigh;andhadsenttoMonktheirsword-
bearertoacquainthimwiththeirdesiresforafreeandfullParliament,whichisatpresentthedesires,andthehopes,andtheexpectationsofall。Twenty-twooftheoldsecludedmembershavingbeenattheHouse-doorthelastweektodemandentrance,butitwasdeniedthem;anditisbelievedthatneithertheynorthepeoplewillbesatisfiedtilltheHousebefilled。"Pepys'Diary,January,1660。
Youmayhaveheardofthepolitiquesnout,Orataleofatubwiththebottomout,ButscarceofaParliamentinadirtyclout,Whichnobodycandeny。
'TwasAtkins(68)firstservedthisRumpinwithmustard-
Thesaucewasacompoundofcourageandcustard;
SirVanebless'dthecreature,Nollsnuffledandbluster'd,Whichnobodycandeny。
TherightwasastheninoldOliver'snose;
ButwhentheDevilofthatdiddispose,ItdescendedfromthencetotheRumpintheclose,Whichnobodycandeny。
Norisitlikelytheretostaylong,Theretentivefacultiesbeinggone,Thejuggleisstale,andmoneythere'snone,Whichnobodycandeny。
ThesecludedmembersmadeatrialToenter,butthemtheRumpdiddefyallBytheordinanceofself-denial,Whichnobodycandeny。
OurpolitiquedoctorsdousteachThatablood-suckingred-coat'sasgoodasaleechTorelievethehead,ifappliedtothebreech,Whichnobodycandeny。
ButneverwassuchawormasVane;
WhentheStatescour'dlast,itvoidedhimthen,Yetnowhe'screptintotheRumpagain,Whichnobodycandeny。
Ludlow'sf-wasaprophetiquetrump(69)
(Thereneverwasanythingsojump),'TwastheverytypeofavoteofthisRump,Whichnobodycandeny。
Theysay'tisgoodluckwhenabodyrisesWiththerumpupward,buthethatadvisesToliveinthatpostureisnoneofthewisest,Whichnobodycandeny。
Thereasonisworse,thoughtherimebeuntoward,Whenthingsproceedwiththewrongendforward;
Buttheysaythere'ssadnewstotheRumpfromtheNor'ward;(70)
Whichnobodycandeny。
'Tisawonderfullthing,thestrengthofthatpart;
Atablastitwilltakeyouateamfromacart,Andblowaman'sheadawaywithaf-,Whichnobodycandeny。
Whenourbrainsaresunckbelowthemiddle,Andourconsciencessteer'dbythehey-down-diddle,Thenthingswillgoroundwithoutafiddle,Whichnobodycandeny。
Youmayorderthecitywithhand-granado,Orthegenerallwithabastonado,-
ButnowayforaRumplikeacarbonado,Whichnobodycandeny。
Tomakeusasfamousincouncilaswars,Here'sLenthalaspeakerformine-
AndFleetwoodisamanofMars,Whichnobodycandeny。
'TispittythatNedham's(71)fall'nintodisgrace,Forheordersabumwithamarvellousgrace,AndoughttoattendtheRumpbyhisplace,Whichnobodycandeny。
Yetthisinspightofalldisasters,Althoughhehathbrokentheheadsofhismasters,'Tisstillhisprofessiontogive'emallplasters,Whichnobodycandeny。
TheRump'sanoldstory,ifwellunderstood;
'Tisathingdress'dupinaParliament'shood,Andlike't,butthetaylstandswheretheheadshould,Whichnobodycandeny。
'Twouldmakeamanscratchwhereitdoesnotitch,Toseefortyfools'headsinonepolitiquebreech,Andthat,huggingthenation,asthedevildidthewitch;
Whichnobodycandeny。
Fromrottenmemberspreserveourwives!
FromthemercyofaRump,ourestatesandourlives!
FortheymustneedsgowhomtheDevildrives,Whichnobodycandeny。
Ballad:AProperNewBalladOnTheOldParliament;Or,TheSecondPartOfKnaveOutOfDoorsTothetuneof"Heiho,myhoney,myheartshallneverrue,Four-and-twentynowforyourmony,andyetahardpenny-worthtoo。"
(Dec。11th,1659。)-FromtheKing'sPamphlets,BritishMuseum。
"Theeventswhichgaveoccasiontothefollowingballad,"saysMrT。WrightinhisPoliticalBallads,publishedforthePercySociety,"maybesummedupinafewwords。AfterthedeathofCromwell,hissonRichardwaswithoutoppositionraisedtotheProtectorate;buthisweakandeasycharactergaveanopeningtotheintriguesoftheRoyalists,andthefactiousmovementoftheRepublicanparty。Fleetwood,whohadbeennamedcommander-in-chiefofthearmyundertheProtector,plottedtogainthechiefpowerintheState,andwasjoinedbyLambert,Desborough,andothers。TheRepublicanswerestrengthenedbythereturnofVane,Ludlow,andBradshaw,totheParliamentcalledbythenewProtector。Lambert,theProtector'sbrother-in-law,wastheostensibleheadofaparty,andseemstohaveaimedatobtainingthepowerwhichhadbeenheldbyOliver。Theyformedacouncilofofficers,whometatWallingfordHouse;andonthe20thApril,1659,havinggainedtheupperhand,andhavingobtainedthedissolutionoftheParliament,theydeterminedtorestoretheoldLongParliament,whichtheysaidhadonlybeeninterrupted,andnotlegallydissolved,andtosetasidetheProtector,whosoonafterwardsresigned。Onthe21stApril,Lenthall,theoldSpeaker,withasmanymembersoftheLongParliamentascouldbebroughttogether,metintheHouse,andopenedtheirsession。TheParliamentthusformed,asbeingthefag-endoftheoldLongParliament,obtainedthenameoftheRumpParliament。Lambert'shopesandaimswereraisedbyhissuccessagainstSirGeorgeBoothintheAugustfollowing,andjealousiessoonarosebetweenhispartyinthearmyandtheRump。TheParliamentwouldhavedismissedhim,andthechiefofficersinthecabalwithhim,butLambertwiththearmyinOctoberhinderedtheirfreemeeting,andtookthemanagementofthegovernmentintothehandsofacouncilofofficers,whomtheycalledtheCommitteeofSafety。Towardsthelatterendoftheyear,thetidebegantobechangedinfavouroftheParliament,bythedeclarationofMonkinScotland,HenryCromwellwiththearmyinIreland,andHazelriggeandtheofficersatPortsmouth,infavourofthefreedomoftheParliament。ThisballadwaswrittenattheperiodwhenLambert'spartywasuppermost。"
Thetuneof"Heiho,myhoney,"maybefoundinPlayford'seditionof"TheEnglishDancingMaster,"printedin1686,butinnoearliereditionofthesamework。
Good-morrow,myneighboursall,whatnewsisthisIheardtellAsIpastthroughWestminster-hallbytheHousethat'snecktohell?
TheytoldJohnLambert(72)wastherewithhisbears,anddeeplyheswore(AsCromwellhaddonebefore)thoseverminshouldsittherenomore。
Singhiho,Wil。Lenthall,(73)whoshallourgeneralbe?
FortheHousetotheDevilissentall,andfollow,goodfaith,munye!
Singhiho,myhoney,myheartshallneverrue,Here'sallpicktwareforthemoney,andyetahardpennyworthtoo。
Then,Muse,strikeupasonnet,come,piper,andplayusaspring,FornowIthinkuponit,theseR'sturn'douttheirKing;
Butnowiscomeabout,thatonceagaintheymustturnout,Andnotwithoutjusticeandreason,thateveryonehometohisprison。
Singhiho,HarryMartin,(74)aburgessofthebench,There'snothinghereiscertain,youmustbackandleaveyourwench。
Sing,hiho,etc。
HetherewiththebuffleheadiscalledlordandofthesameHouse,Who(asIhavehearditsaid)waschastisedbyhisladyespouse;
Becauseheranatsheep,sheandhermaidgavehimthewhip,Andbeathisheadsoaddle,you'dthinkhehadaknockinthecradle。
Singhiho,LordMunson,(75)youha'gotaparkoftheKing's;
Onedayyou'lhanglikeahounson,forthisandotherthings,Singhi,ho,etc。
Itwasbytheirmaster'sordersatfirsttogethertheymet,Whompiouslytheydidmurder,andsincebytheirowntheydidset。
Thecauseofthisdisasteris'causetheywerefalsetotheirmaster;
Norcantheytheirgens-d'armesblameforservingthemthesame。
Singhiho,SirArthur,(76)nomoreintheHouseyoushallprate;
Forallyoukeptsuchaquarter,(77)youareoutofthecouncellofstate。
Singhiho,etc。
OldNolloncegavethemapurge(forgettingOCCIDISTI),(Thefuriesbehisscourge!)soofthecuremusthe;
Andyetthedrughewellknewit,forhegaveittoDrHuit;(78)
Hadhegivenitthem,hehaddoneit,andtheyhadnotturn'douthissonyet;
Singhiho,braveDick,Lenthall,andLadyJoane,Whodidagainstlovaltykickisnowforanew-year'sgiftgone。
Singhiho,etc。
ForhadOldNollbeenalive,hehadpull'dthemoutbytheears,Orelsehadfiredtheirhive,andkicktthemdownthestaires;
Becausetheyweresoboldtovexhisrighteoussoul,Whenhesodeeplyhadsworethattheretheyshouldneversitmore。
Buthiho,Noll'sdead,andstunklongsinceaboveground,Thoughlaptinspicesandleadthatcostusmanyapound。
Singhiho,etc。
Indeed,brotherburgess,yourlingdidneverstinkhalfsobad,Nordidyourhabberdinwhenitnopease-strawhad;
Yebothwerechosetogether,'causeyeworestuffcloaksinhardweather,AndCambridgeneedswouldhaveaburgessfoolandknave。
Singhiho,JohnLowry,(79)concerninghabberdin,Nomemberspakebeforeye,yetyoune'respokeagaine。
Singhi,ho,etc。
NedPrideaux(80)hewentposttotelltheProtectorthenews,ThatFleetwoodruldtherost,havingtaneoffDicke'sshoes。
Andthathedidbelieve,LambertwouldhimdeceiveAshehisbrotherhadgull'd,andCromwellFairfaxbull'd。
Singhiho,theattorneywasstillatyourcommand;
Inflamestogetherburnye,stilldancinghandinhand!
Singhiho,etc。
Who'sthatwouldhidehisface,andhisneckfromthecollarpull?
Hemustappearinthisplace,ifhiscapbemadeofwool。
Whoisit?withavengeance!itisthegoodLordStJohns,(81)
WhomadeGod'shousetofall,tobuildhisownwithall。
Singhiho,whocomesthere?who'tisImustnotsay;
Butbyhisdarklanthorn,Iswearehe'sasgoodinthenightasday。
Singhiho,etc。
Edge,brethren,roomforonethatlooksasbigasthebest;
'Tispitytoleavehimalone,forheisasgoodastherest;
Nopicklockofthelaws,hebuildsamongthedaws,Ifyouha'anymorekingstomurder,foraPresidentlooknofurther。
Singhiho,JohnBradshaw,inbloodnonefurtherengages;
TheDevilfromwhomhehad'slaw,willshortlypayhimhiswages。
Singhiho,etc。
Next,PeagooseWild,(82)comeintoshowyourweesleface,AndtellusBurley'ssin,whosebloodboughtyouyourplace;
Whenloyaltywasacrime,helivedinadangeroustime,Wasforcedtopayhisnecktomakeyoubaronofthecheque。
Singhiho,JackStraw,we'llputitinthemargent,'Twasnotforjusticeorlawthatyouweremadeasergeant。
Singhiho,etc。
NollservednotSatanfaster,norwithhimdidbetteraccord;
Forhewasmygoodmaster,andtheDevilwashisgoodlord。
BothSlingsby,Gerard,andHewet,(83)weresureenoughtogotoit,Accordingtohisintent,thatchosemePresident。
Singhiho,LordLisle,(84)surelawhadgotawrench,Andwherewasjusticethewhile,whenyousateonthebench。
Singhiho,etc。
NextcomesthegoodLordKeble,oftheTriumvirate,Ofthesealinthelawbutfeeble,thoughonthebenchhesate;
Forwhenoneputshimacase,Iwishhimoutoftheplace,And,ifitwerenotasin,anablelawyerin。
Sing,givethesealabout,I'dehaveitsotherather,Becausewemightgetouttheknave,mylord,myfather。
Singhiho,etc。
Pullouttheotherthree,itisNathanielFines(85)
(WhoBristollostforfear),we'llnotleavehimbehind's;
'Tisachipofthatgoodoldblock,whotoloyaltygavethefirstknock,ThenstoleawaytoLundey,whencethefoulfiendfetcheshimoneday。
Singhiho,cantingFines,youandtheresttomend'um,WouldyewereservedinyourkindswithanENSERESCIDENDUM。
Singhiho,etc。
Hethatcomesdown-stairs,isLordChiefJusticeGlin;(86)
Ifnomanforhimcares,hecaresaslittleagain:
ThereasontooIknow't,hehelptcutStrafford'sthroat,Andtakeawayhislife,thoughwithacleanerknife。
Singhiho,Britainbold,straighttothebaryouget,Whereitisnotsocoldaswhereyourjusticeset。
Singhiho,etc。
Hethatwillnextcomein,waslongoftheCouncilofState,Thoughhardlyahaironhischinwhenfirstinthecouncilhesate;
HewassometimeinItaly,andlearnedtheirfashionsprettily,Thencamebackto'sownnation,tohelpupreformation。
Singhiho,HarryNevil,(87)IprytheebenottoorashWithatheismtocourttheDivel,you'retooboldtobehisbardash。
Singhiho,etc。
HetherewithingratitudeblacktisoneCorneliusHolland,(88)
Who,butfortheKing'shouse,lacktwherewithtoappeasehiscolon;
Thecaseiswellamendedsincethattime,asIthink,Whenatcourtgatehetendedwithalittlestickandashortlink。
Singhiho,Cornelius,yourzealcannotdeludeus;
Thereasonpraynowtellyeuswhythusyouplay'dtheJudas。
Singhiho,etc。
AtfirsthewasagrocerwhonowweMajorcall,Althoughyouwouldthinkno,Sir,ifyousawhiminWhitehall,Wherehehasgreatcommand,andlooksforcapinhand,Andifoureggsbenotaddle,shallbeofthenextnewmoddel。
Singhiho,MrSalloway,(89)theLordinheavendothknowWhenthatfromhenceyoushallaway,wheretotheDevilyou'lgo。
Singhiho,etc。
LittleHill,(90)sincesetintheHouse,istoamountaingrown;
Notthatwhichbroughtforththemouse,butthousandstheyearofhisown。
ThepurchasethatImean,whereelsebutatTauntonDean;
Fivethousandpoundsperannum,asumnotknowntohisgrannam。
Singhi,theGoodoldCause,(91)'tisoldenoughnottrueYougotmorebythatthenthelaws,soagoodoldcausetoyou。
Singhiho,etc。
MasterCecil,(92)praycomebehind,becauseonyourownaccordTheotherHouseyoudeclined,youshallbenolongeralord;
Thereason,asIguess,yousilentlydidconfess,SuchlordsdeservedilltheotherHousetofill。
Singhiho,MrCecil,yourhonournowisgone;
Suchlordsarenotworthawhistle,wehavemadebetterlordsofourown。
Singhiho,etc。
LukeRobinson(93)shallgobeforeye,thatsnarlingnortherntyke;
Besurehe'llnotadoreye,forhonourhedothnotlike;
Hecannothonourinherit,andheknowshecannevermerit,Andthereforehecannotbearitthatanyoneelseshouldwearit。
Singhiho,enviouslown,you'reofthebeagle'skind,Whoalwaysbark'datthemoon,becauseinthedarkitshined。
Singhiho,etc。
'Tisthisthatvengeancerouses,that,whileyoumakelongprayers,Youeatupwidows'houses,anddrinktheorphan'stears;
Longtimeyoukeptagreatnoise,ofGodandtheGoodoldCause;
ButifGodtoyoubesokind,thenI'meoftheIndian'smind。
Singhiho,SirHarry,(94)wesee,byyourdemeanour,Iflongerhereyoutarry,you'llbeSirHarryVane,Senior。
Singhiho,etc。
Nowifyourzealdowarmeye,prayloudforfairerweather;
Sweartoliveanddiewiththearmy,forthesebirdsareflowntogether;
TheHouseisturn'doutadoe,(andIthinkitwasnosin,too);
Ifwetakethemthereanymore,we'llthrowtheHouseoutofthewindow。
Singhiho,TomScot,(95)youlenttheDevilyourhand;
Iwonderhehelptyounot,butsuffredyout'betrapand。
Singhiho,etc。
They'reonceagainconduced,andwefreedfromtheevilTowhichwelongwereused;GodblesseusnextfromtheDevil!
Iftheyhadnotbeenoutedthearrayhadbeenrouted,AndthenthisrottenRumphadsatuntilthelasttrump。
But,hiho,Lambert'shere,theProtector'sinstrumentbore,Andmanytherebewhoswearthathewilldoitnomore。
Singhiho,etc。
Comehere,then,honestPeters,(96)saygraceforthesecondcourse,Solongastheseyourbettersmustpatiencehaveuponforce,LongtimehekeptagreatnoisewithGodandtheGoodoldCause,ButifGodownsuchasthese,thenwhere'stheDevil'sfees?
Singhiho,Hugo,Ihearthouartnotdead;
WherenowtotheDevilwillyougo,yourpatronsbeingfled?
Singhiho,myhoney,myheartshallneverrue,Four-and-twentynowforapenny,andintothebargainHugh。
Ballad:TheTaleOfTheCobblerAndTheVicarOfBrayRaraestconcordiafratrum。Ovid。
BySamuelButler。
The"SirSamuel"ofthisBalladisthesameperson-SirSamuelLukeofBedfordshire-whoissupposedtohavebeentheunconsciousmodeloftheportraitwhichisdrawnsomuchmorefullyintheinimitableHudibras。Ralphisalsothewell-knownSquireinthesamepoem。TheBallad,thoughpublishedinButler's"PosthumousWorks,"1724,wasrejectedbyThyerintheeditionof1784,andisnotincludedinthe"GenuineRemains,"publishedfromtheoriginalmanuscripts,formerlyinthepossessionofWilliamLongueville,Esq。IfnotbyButler,itisasuccessfulimitationofhisstyle,andaboundsinphrasesofsturdycolloquialEnglish,andisofadatelonganteriortothepopularsong,"TheVicarofBray。"
InBedfordshiretheredweltaknight,SirSamuelbyname,WhobyhisfeatsincivilbroilsObtain'damightyfame。
Norwashemuchlesswiseandstout,ButfitinbothrespectsTohumblesturdyCavaliers,Andtosupportthesects。
ThisworthyknightwasonethatsworeHewouldnotcuthisbeardTillthisungodlynationwasFromkingsandbishopsclear'd:
Whichholyvowhefirmlykept,AndmostdevoutlyworeAgrizlymeteoronhisfaceTilltheywerebothnomore。
Hisworshipwas,inshort,amanOfsuchexceedingworth,Nopenorpencilcandescribe,Orrhymingbardsetforth。
ManyandmightythingshedidBothsoberandinliquor,-
WitnessthemortalfraybetweenTheCobblerandtheVicar;
WhichbyhiswisdomandhispowerHewiselydidprevent,AndboththecombatantsatonceInwoodendurancepent。
ThemannerhowthesetwofelloutAndquarrell'dintheirale,IshallattemptatlargetoshowInthesucceedingtale。
Astrollingcobbler,whowaswontTotrudgefromtowntotown,Happen'duponhiswalktomeetAvicarinhisgown。
Andastheyforwardjogg'dalong,Thevicar,growinghot,FirstaskedthecobblerifheknewWheretheymighttakeapot?
Yes,marrythatIdo,quothhe;
Hereisahousehardby,ThatfarexceedsallBedfordshireForaleandlandlady。
Thitherlet'sgo,thevicarsaid;
Andwhentheythithercame,Helikedtheliquorwondrouswell,Butbetterfarthedame。
Andshe,who,likeacunningjilt,Knewhowtopleaseherguest,UsedallherlittletricksandartsToentertainthepriest。
Thecobblertoo,whoquicklysawThelandlady'sdesign,DidallthatinhispowerwasTomanagethedivine。
WithsmuttyjestsandmerrysongsTheycharm'dthevicarso,ThathedeterminedforthatnightNofurtherhewouldgo。
Andbeingfixt,thecobblerthought'TwaspropertogotryIfhecouldgetajobortwoHischargestosupply。
Sogoingoutintothestreet,Hebawlswithallhismight,-
IfanyofyoutreadawryI'mheretosetyouright。
Icanrepairyourleakyboots,Andunderlayyoursoles;
Backsliders,IcanunderpropAndpatchupallyourholes。
Thevicar,whounluckilyThecobbler'soutcryheard,FromoffthebenchonwhichhesatWithmightyfuryrear'd。
Quothhe,Whatpriest,whatholypriestCanhearthisbawlingslave,Butmust,injusticetohiscoat,Chastisethesaucyknave?
Whathasthiswretchtodowithsouls,Orwithbacksliderseither,Whosebusinessonlyishisawls,Hislasts,histhread,andleather?
IlosemypatiencetobemadeThisstrollingvarlet'ssport;
NorcouldIthinkthissaucyrogueCouldservemeinsuchsort。
Thecobbler,whohadnodesignThevicartodisplease,Unluckilyrepeatsagain,-
I'mcomeyoursoalstoease:
TheinwardandtheoutwardtooIcanrepairandmend;
Andallthatmyassistancewant,I'llusethemlikeafriend。
ThecountryfolknosoonerheardThehonestcobbler'stongue,ButfromthevillagefarandnearTheyroundabouthimthrong。
Somebringtheirboots,andsometheirshoes,Andsometheirbuskinsbring:
Thecobblersitshimdowntowork,Andthenbeginstosing。
Deathoftenatthecobbler'sstallWaswonttomakeastand,Butfoundthecobblersingingstill,Andonthemendinghand;
UntilatlengthhemetoldTime,AndthentheybothtogetherQuitetearthecobbler'sagedsoleFromofftheupperleather。
EvensoawhileImayoldshoesBycareandartmaintain,Butwhentheleather'srottengrownAllartandcareisvain。
Andthusthecobblerstitchedandsung,Notthinkinganyharm;
TillouttheangryvicarcameWithaleandpassionwarm。
Dostthounotknow,vileslave!quothhe,Howimpious'tistojestWithsacredthings,andtoprofaneTheofficeofapriest?
Howdar'stthou,mostaudaciouswretch!
Thosevileexpressionsuse,WhichmakethesoulsofmenascheapAssoalsofbootsandshoes?
SuchreprobatesasyoubetrayOurcharacterandgown,Andwould,ifyouhadoncethepower,TheChurchitselfpulldown。
Thecobbler,notawarethatheHaddoneorsaidamiss,Reply'd,IdonotunderstandWhatyoucanmeanbythis。
Tho'Ibutapoorcobblerbe,Andstrollaboutforbread,NonebetterlovestheChurchthanI
Thateverworeahead。
Butsinceyouaresogoodatnames,Andmakesoloudapother,I'lltellyouplainlyI'mafraidYou'rebutsomecobblingbrother。
Come,vicar,tho'youtalksobig,Ourtradesarenearakin;
IpatchandcobbleoutwardsoalsAsyoudothosewithin。
AndI'llappealtoanymanThatunderstandsthenation,IfIhan'tdonemoregoodthanyouInmyrespectivestation。
Oldleather,Imustneedsconfess,I'vesometimesusedasnew,AndoftenparedthesoalsonearThatIhavespoil'dtheshoe。
Youvicars,byadifferentway,Havedonetheverysame;
ForyouhaveparedyourdoctrinessoYoumadereligionlame。
Yourprinciplesyou'vequitedisown'd,Andoldoneschangedfornew,ThatnomancandistinguishrightWhicharethefalseortrue。
Idarebebold,you'reoneofthoseHavetooktheCovenant;
WithCavaliersareCavalier,Andwiththesaintsasaint。
ThevicaratthissharprebukeBeginstostormandswear;
Quothhe,Thouvileapostatewretch!
Dostthouwithmecompare?
Ithathavecareofmanysouls,Andpowertodamnorsave,Dar'stthouthyselfcomparewithme,Thouvile,ungodlyknave!
IwishIhadtheesomewhereelse,I'dquicklymaketheeknowWhat'tistomakecomparisons,Andtorevilemeso。
ThouartanenemytotheState,Somepriestinmasquerade,That,topromotethePope'sdesigns,Haslearntthecobblingtrade:
OrelsesomespytoCavaliers,AndartbythemsentoutTocarryfalseintelligence,Andscatterliesabout。
ButwhilstthevicarfullofireWasrailingatthisrate,Hisworship,goodSirSamuel,O'erlightedatthegate。
AndaskingofthelandladyTh'occasionofthestir;
Quothshe,IfyouwillgivemeleaveIwillinformyou,Sir。
Thiscobblerhappeningtoo'ertakeThevicarinhiswalk,Infriendlysorttheyforwardmarch,Andtoeachothertalk。
UntiltheparsonfirstproposedTostopandtakeawhet;
SocheekbyjoletheyhithercameLiketravellerswellmet。
Aworldofhealthsandjestswentround,Sometimesamerrytale;
Tilltheyresolvedtostayallnight,Sowelltheylikedmyale。
Thusallthingslovinglywenton,Andwhosogreatasthey;
BeforeanuglyaccidentBeganthismortalfray。
ThecaseItakeittobethis,-
Thevicarbeingfixt,Thecobblerchancedtocryhistrade,AndinhiscryhemixtSomeharmlesswords,whichIsupposeThevicarfalselythoughtMightbedesign'dtobanterhim,Andscandalizehiscoat。
Ifthatbeall,quothhe,gooutAndbidthembothcomein;
AdozenofyournappyaleWillset'emrightagain。
Andifthealeshouldchancetofail,Forsoperhapsitmay,IhaveitinmypowerstotryAmoreeffectualway。
Thesevicarsareawilfultribe,Arestless,stubborncrew;
Andiftheyarenothumbledquite,TheStatetheywillundo。
Thecobblerisacunningknave,Thatgoesaboutbystealth,Andwould,insteadofmendingshoes,RepairtheCommonwealth。
However,bid'embothcomein,Thisfraymusthaveanend;
SuchlittlefeudsasthesedooftTogreatermischiefstend。
WithoutmorebiddingoutshegoesAndtoldthem,byhertroth,TherewasamagistratewithinThatneedsmustsee'emboth。
But,gentlemen,praydistancekeep,Anddon'ttootestybe;
IllwordsgoodmannersstillcorruptAndspoilgoodcompany。
Tothisthevicarfirstreplies,Ifearnomagistrate;
Forlet'emmakewhatlawstheywill,I'llstillobeytheState。
WhateverIcansayordo,I'msurenotmuchavails;
IstallstillbeVicarofBrayWhicheversideprevails。
Myconscience,thankstoHeaven,iscomeTosuchahappypass,ThatIcantaketheCovenantAndneverhanganass。
I'vetooksomanyoathsbefore,ThatnowwithoutremorseItakealloathstheStatecanmake,Asmeerlythingsofcourse。
Gotherefore,dame,thejusticetellHissummonsI'llobey;
AndfurtheryoumaylethimknowIVicaramofBray。
Ifindindeed,thecobblersaid,Iamnotmuchmistaken;
ThisvicarknowsthereadywayTosavehisreverendbacon。(97)
Thisisahopefulpriestindeed,Andwelldeservesarope;
RatherthanlosehisvicarageHe'dsweartoTurkorPope。
ForgainhewouldhisGoddeny,HiscountryandhisKing;
Swearandforswear,recantandlye,Doanywickedthing。
Atthisthevicarsethisteeth,Andtothecobblerflew;
AndwithhissacerdotalfistGavehimaboxortwo。
Thecobblersoonreturn'dtheblows,AndwithbothheadandheelSomanfullybehavedhimself,Hemadethevicarreel。
Greatwastheoutcrythatwasmade,AndinthewomanranTotellhisworshipthatthefightBetwixtthemwasbegan。
Andisitsoindeed?quothhe;
I'llmaketheslavesrepent:
Thenuphetookhisbaskethilt,Andoutenragedhewent。
ThecountryfolknosoonersawTheknightwithnakedblade,ButforhisworshipinstantlyAnopenlanewasmade;
WhowithasternandangrylookCry'dout,WhatknavesaretheseThatinthefaceofjusticedareDisturbthepublicpeace?
Vilerascals!IwillmakeyouknowIamamagistrate,AndthatassuchIbearaboutThevengeanceoftheState。
Go,seizethem,Ralph,andbringthemin,ThatImayknowthecause,Thatfirstinducedthemtothisrage,Andthustobreakthelaws。
Ralph,whowasbothhissquireandclerk,Andconstablewithal,I'th'nameo'th'CommonwealthaloudDidforassistancebawl。
Thewordshadhardlypass'dhismouthButtheysecurethemboth;
AndRalph,toshowhisfuriouszealAndhatredtothecloth,Runstothevicarthroughthecrowd,Andtakeshimbythethroat:
Howill,sayshe,doththisbecomeYourcharacterandcoat!
WasitforthisnotlongagoYoutooktheCovenant,AndinmostsolemnmannersworeThatyou'dbecomeasaint?
AndherehegavehimsuchapinchThatmadethevicarshout,-
Goodpeople,Ishallmurder'dbeBythisungodlylout。