Contents：
TotheViscountessWolseleyPrefaceElzevirsBalladeoftheRealandIdealCuriositiesofParishRegistersTheRowfantBooksToF。L。
SomeJapaneseBogie-booksGhostsintheLibraryLiteraryForgeriesBibliomaniainFranceOldFrenchTitle-pagesABookman'sPurgatoryBalladeoftheUnattainableLadyBook-loversTOTHEVISCOUNTESSWOLSELEY
Madame，itisnomodishthing，Thebookman'stributethatIbring；
Atalkofantiquariesgrey，Dustuntodustthismanyaday，Gossipoftextsandbindingsold，Offadedtype，andtarnish'dgold！
Canladiescareforthisto-doWithPayne，Derome，andPadeloup？
Cantheyresigntherout，theball，Forlonelyjoysofshelfandstall？
Thecriticthus，serenelywise；
Butyoucanreadwithothereyes，Whosebooksandbindingstreasuredare'Midstmingledspoilsofpeaceandwar；
ShieldsfromthefightstheMahdilost，AndtrinketsfromtheGoldenCoast，AndmanythingsdivinelydoneByChippendaleandSheraton，AndtrophiesofEgyptiandeeds，Andfans，andplates，andAggreybeads，Pomanderboxes，assegais，Andsword-hiltsworninMarlbro'sdays。
Inthispell-mellofoldandnew，Ofwarandpeace，myessays，too，Forlonginserialstempest-tost，Arelandednow，andarenotlost：
Nay，onyourshelfsecuretheylie，Asintheambersleepsthefly。
'Tistrue，theyarenot"richnorrare；"
Enough，forme，thattheyare——there！
A。L
PREFACE
Theessaysinthisvolumehave，forthemostpart，alreadyappearedinanAmericanedition（Combes，NewYork，1886）。TheEssayson'OldFrenchTitle-Pages'and'LadyBook-Lovers'taketheplaceof'BookBinding'and'BookmenatRome；''Elzevirs'and'SomeJapaneseBogie-
Books'arereprinted，withpermissionofMessrs。Cassell，fromtheMagazineofArt；'CuriositiesofParishRegisters'fromtheGuardian；'LiteraryForgeries'fromtheContemporaryReview；'LadyBook-Lovers'fromtheFortnightlyReview；'ABookman'sPurgatory'
andtwoofthepiecesofversefromLongman'sMagazine——withthecourteouspermissionofthevariouseditors。Allthechaptershavebeenrevised，andIhavetothankMr。H。Tedderforhiskindcareinreadingtheproofsheets，andMr。CharlesElton，M。P。，forasimilarservicetotheEssayon'ParishRegisters。'
ELZEVIRS
TheCountryman。"Youknowhowmuch，forsometimepast，theeditionsoftheElzevirshavebeenindemand。Thefancyforthemhasevenpenetratedintothecountry。Iamacquaintedwithamantherewhodenieshimselfnecessaries，forthesakeofcollectingintoalibrary（whereotherbooksarescarceenough）asmanylittleElzevirsashecanlayhishandsupon。Heisdyingofhunger，andhisconsolationistobeabletosay，'IhaveallthepoetswhomtheElzevirsprinted。Ihavetenexamplesofeachofthem，allwithredletters，andalloftherightdate。'This，nodoubt，isacraze，for，goodasthebooksare，ifhekeptthemtoreadthem，oneexampleofeachwouldbeenough。"
TheParisian。"Ifhehadwantedtoreadthem，IwouldnothaveadvisedhimtobuyElzevirs。Theeditionsofminorauthorswhichthesebooksellerspublished，eveneditions'oftherightdate，'asyousay，arenottoocorrect。Nothingisgoodinthebooksbutthetypeandthepaper。YourfriendwouldhavedonebettertousetheeditionsofGryphiusorEstienne。"
ThisfragmentofaliterarydialogueItranslatefrom'EntretienssurlesContesdeFees，'abookwhichcontainsmoreofoldtalkaboutbooksandbooksellersthanaboutfairiesandfolk-lore。The'Entretiens'werepublishedin1699，aboutsixteenyearsaftertheElzevirsceasedtobepublishers。Thefragmentisvaluable：first，becauseitshowsushowearlythetasteforcollectingElzevirswasfullydeveloped，and，secondly，becauseitcontainsverysoundcriticismofthemania。Already，intheseventeenthcentury，loversofthetinyElzevirianbookswaxedpatheticoverdates，alreadytheyknewthata'Caesar'of1635wastheright'Caesar，'alreadytheywerefondofthered-letteredpassages，asinthefirsteditionofthe'Virgil'of1636。Asearlyas1699，too，theParisiancriticknewthattheeditionswerenotverycorrect，andthatthepaper，type，ornaments，andFORMATweretheirmainattractions。TothesewemustnowaddtherarityofreallygoodElzevirs。
ThoughElzevirshavebeenmorefashionablethanatpresent，theyarestillregardedbynovelistsasthegreatprizeofthebookcollector。Youreadinnovelsabout"pricelesslittleElzevirs，"
aboutbooks"asrareasanoldElzevir。"Ihavemet，intheworksofaladynovelist（butnotelsewhere），withanElzevir'Theocritus。'ThelateMr。HepworthDixonintroducedintooneofhisromancesaromanticElzevirGreekTestament，"worthitsweightingold。"CasualremarksofthiskindencourageapopulardelusionthatallElzevirsarepearlsofconsiderableprice。Whenamanisfirstsmittenwiththepleasantfeverofbook-collecting，itisforElzevirsthathesearches。Atfirsthethinkshimselfinamazingluck。InBooksellers'RowandinCastleStreethe"picksup，"forashillingortwo，Elzevirs，realorsupposed。Tothebeginner，anybookwithasphereonthetitle-pageisanElzevir。Forthebeginner'sinstruction，twocopiesofspheresareprintedhere。Thesecondisasphere，anill-cut，ill-drawnsphere，whichisnotElzevirianatall。Themarkwasusedintheseventeenthcenturybymanyotherbooksellersandprinters。Thefirst，ontheotherhand，isatrueElzeviriansphere，fromaplayofMoliere's，printedin1675。Observethecomparativelyneatdrawingofthefirstsphere，andbenotledawayafterspuriousimitations。
Beware，too，ofthevulgarerroroffancyingthatlittleduodecimoswiththemarkofthefoxandthebee'snest，andthemotto"Quaerendo，"comefromthepressoftheElzevirs。ThemarkisthatofAbrahamWolfgang，whichnameisnotapseudonymforElzevir。
TherearethreesortsofElzevirpseudonyms。First，theyoccasionallyreprintedthefulltitle-page，publisher'snameandall，ofthebooktheypirated。Secondly，whentheyprintedbooksofa"dangerous"sort，Jansenistpamphletsandsoforth，theyusedpseudonymslike"Nic。Schouter，"onthe'LettresProvinciales'ofPascal。Thirdly，therearerealpseudonymsemployedbytheElzevirs。JohnandDaniel，printingatLeyden（1652-1655），usedthefalsename"JeanSambix。"TheElzevirsofAmsterdamoftenplacedthename"JacquesleJeune"ontheirtitle-pages。Thecollectorwhoremembersthesethingsmustalsoseethathispurchaseshavetherightornamentsattheheadsofchapters，therighttail-piecesattheends。Twoofthemostfrequentlyrecurringornamentsaretheso-called"TetedeBuffle"andthe"Sirene。"MoreorlessclumsycopiesoftheseandtheotherElzevirianornamentsarecommonenoughinbooksoftheperiod，evenamongthoseprintedoutoftheLowCountries；forexample，inbookspublishedinParis。
AbriefsketchofthehistoryoftheElzevirsmayherebeuseful。
Thefounderofthefamily，aFlemishbookbinder，Louis，leftLouvainandsettledinLeydenin1580。HeboughtahouseoppositetheUniversity，andopenedabook-shop。Anothershop，oncollegeground，wasopenedin1587。Louiswasagoodbookseller，averyordinarypublisher。Itwasnottillshortlybeforehisdeath，in1617，thathisgrandsonIsaacboughtasetoftypesandothermaterial。Louisleftsixsons。Twoofthese，MatthewandBonaventure，keptonthebusiness，datingexofficinaElzeviriana。
In1625BonaventureandAbraham（sonofMatthew）becamepartners。
The"gooddates"ofElzevirianbooksbeginfrom1626。ThetwoElzevirschoseexcellenttypes，andafternineyears'endeavoursturnedoutthebeautiful'Caesar'of1635。
Theirclassicalseriesinpetitformatwasopenedwith'Horace'and'Ovid'in1629。In1641theybegantheirelegantpiraciesofFrenchplaysandpoetrywith'LeCid。'ItwasworthwhilebeingpiratedbytheElzevirs，whoturnedyououtlikeagentleman，withfleuronsandredletters，andaprettyfrontispiece。Themodernpiratedressesyouinrags，printsyoumurderously，andbindsyou，ifhebindsyouatall，insomehideousexampleof"clothextra，"allgilt，likearchaicgingerbread。BonaventureandAbrahambothdiedin1652。
Theydidnotdepartbeforepublishing（1628），ingrandformat，adesirableworkonfencing，Thibault's'Academiedel'Espee。'ThisTibbaldalsokilledbythebook。JohnandDanielElzevircamenext。
Theybroughtoutthe'Imitation'（ThomaeaKempiscanoniciregularisord。S。AugustiniDeImitationeChristi，libriiv。）；IwishbytakingthoughtIcouldaddeightmillimetrestothestatureofmycopy。In1655Danieljoinedacousin，Louis，inAmsterdam，andJohnstayedinLeyden。Johndiedin1661；hiswidowstruggledon，buthersonAbraham（1681）letallfallintoruins。Abrahamdied1712。
TheElzevirsofAmsterdamlastedtill1680，whenDanieldied，andthebusinesswaswoundup。Thetype，byChristopherVanDyck，wassoldin1681，byDaniel'swidow。Sictransitgloria。
Afterhehaslearnedallthesematterstheamateurhasstillagreatdealtoacquire。HemaynowknowarealElzevirfromabookwhichisnotanElzeviratall。Butthereareenormousdifferencesofvalue，rarity，andexcellenceamongtheproductionsoftheElzevirianpress。Thebookstallsteemwithsmall，"cropped，"dingy，dirty，batteredElzevirianeditionsoftheclassics，NOT"ofthegooddate。"Ontheseitisnotworthwhiletoexpendacoupleofshillings，especiallyasElzeviriantypeistoosmalltobereadwithcomfortbymostmoderneyes。No，letthecollectorsavehismoney；avoidlitteringhisshelveswithwhathewillsoonfindtoberubbish，andlethimwaitthechanceofacquiringareallybeautifulandrareElzevir。
Meantime，andbeforewecometodescribeElzevirsofthefirstflight，letitberememberedthatthe"taller"thecopy，thelessharmedandnippedbythebinder'sshears，thebetter。"Menscarcelyknowhowbeautifulfireis，"saysShelley；andwemaysaythatmostmenhardlyknowhowbeautifulanElzevirwasinitsuncutandoriginalform。TheElzevirswehavemaybe"dear，"buttheyarecertainly"dumpytwelves。"Theirfairproportionshavebeendockedbythebinder。AttheBeckfordsaletherewasapearlofabook，a'Marot；'notanElzevir，indeed，butabookpublishedbyWetstein，afolloweroftheElzevirs。Thisexquisitepairofvolumes，boundinbluemorocco，wasabsolutelyunimpaired，andwasasighttobringhappytearsintotheeyesoftheamateurofElzevirs。Therewasagracioussvelteeleganceaboutthesetomes，anappealingandexquisitedelicacyofproportion，thatlingerlikesweetmusicinthememory。IhaveacopyoftheWetstein'Marot'myself，notabadcopy，thoughmurderouslyboundinthatecclesiasticalsortofbrowncalfantique，whichgoeswellwithhymnbooks，andremindsoneofcakesofchocolate。Butmycopyisonlysome128millimetresinheight，whereastheuncutBeckfordcopy（ithadbelongedtothegreatPixerecourt）wasatleast130millimetreshigh。BesidetheuncutexampleminelookslikeCinderella'splainsisterbesidethebeautyofthefamily。
NowthemoralisthatonlytallElzevirsarebeautiful，onlytallElzevirspreservetheirancientproportions，onlytallElzevirsareworthcollecting。Dr。LemuelGulliverremarksthattheKingofLilliputwastallerthananyofhiscourtbyalmostthebreadthofanail，andthathisaltitudefilledthemindsofallwithawe。Well，thePhilistinemaythinkafewmillimetres，moreorless，intheheightofanElzevirareoflittleimportance。Whenhecomestosell，hewilldiscoverthedifference。Anuncut，oralmostuncut，copyofagoodElzevirmaybeworthfiftyorsixtypoundsormore；
anordinarycopymaybringfewerpence。Thebindersusuallyparedownthetopandbottommorethanthesides。Ihavea'Rabelais'ofthegooddate，withtheredtitle（1663），andsomeofthepageshaveneverbeenopened，atthesides。Buttheheightisonlysome122
millimetres，ameredwarf。Anythingover130millimetresisveryrare。ThereforethecollectorofElzevirsshouldhaveoneofthoseusefulivory-handledknivesonwhichtheFrenchmeasuresaremarked，andthushewillatoncebeabletosatisfyhimselfastotheexactheightofanyexamplewhichheencounters。
LetusnowassumethattheamateurquiteunderstandswhataproperElzevirshouldbe：tall，clean，wellboundifpossible，andofthegooddate。Butwehavestilltolearnwhatthegooddatesare，andthisismatterforthestudyandpracticeofawell-spentlife。WemaygossipaboutafewofthemorefamousElzevirs，thosewithoutwhichnocollectioniscomplete。OfallElzevirsthemostfamousandthemostexpensiveisanoldcookerybook，"'LePastissierFrancois。'Whereinistaughtthewaytomakeallsortsofpastry，usefultoallsortsofpersons。Alsothemannerofpreparingallmannerofeggs，forfast-days，andotherdays，inmorethansixtyfashions。Amsterdam，Louys，andDanielElsevier。1665。"Themarkisnottheold"Sage，"butthe"Minerva"withherowl。NowthisbookhasnointrinsicvalueanymorethanaTauchnitzreprintofanymodernvolumeoncooking。The'Pastissier'ischerishedbecauseitissoveryrare。Thetractpassedintothehandsofcooks，andthehandsofcooksaredetrimentaltoliterature。Justasnurserybooks，fairytales，andthelikearedestroyedfromgenerationtogeneration，soithappenswithbooksusedinthekitchen。The'Pastissier，'tobesure，hasagoodfrontispiece，asceneinaLowCountrykitchen，amongthedeadgameandthedainties。Thebuxomcookismakingagamepie；apheasantpie，decoratedwiththebird'sheadandtail-feathers，isalreadymade。{1}
Notforthesecharms，butforitsrarity，isthe'Pastissier'
coveted。Inanearlyeditionofthe'Manuel'（1821）Brunetsays，withafeignedbrutality（forhedearlylovedanElzevir），"TillnowIhavedisdainedtoadmitthisbookintomywork，butIhaveyieldedtotheprayersofamateurs。Besides，howcouldIkeepoutavolumewhichwassoldforonehundredandonefrancsin1819？"Onehundredandonefrancs！IfIcouldonlygeta'Pastissier'foronehundredandonefrancs！ButourgrandfatherslivedintheBookman'sParadise。"Iln'estpasjusqu'auxAnglais，"addsBrunet——"theveryEnglishthemselves——haveatasteforthe'Pastissier。'"TheDukeofMarlborough'scopywasactuallysoldfor1pound4s。ItwouldhavebeenmoneyintheducalpocketsofthehouseofMarlboroughtohavekeptthisvolumetillthegeneralsaleofalltheirportablepropertyatwhichourgenerationisprivilegedtoassist。Nowonderthe'Pastissier'wasthoughtrare。Berardonlyknewtwocopies。
Pietiers，writingontheElzevirsin1843，couldciteonlyfive'Pastissiers，'andinhis'Annales'hehadfoundoutbutfivemore。
Willems，ontheotherhand，enumeratessomethirty，notincludingMotteley's。Motteleywasanuncultivated，untaughtenthusiast。HeknewnoLatin，buthehadaFLAIRforuncutElzevirs。"Incomptiscapillis，"hewouldcry（itwasallhislore）ashegloatedoverhistreasures。TheywereallburntbytheCommuneintheLouvreLibrary。
Afewexamplesmaybegivenofthepricesbroughtby'LePastissier'
inlaterdays。Sensier'scopywasbut128millimetresinheight，andhadtheoldordinaryvellumbinding，——infact，itcloselyresembledacopywhichMessrs。EllisandWhitehadforsaleinBondStreetin1883。TheEnglishbooksellersasked，Ithink，about1，500
francsfortheircopy。Sensier'swassoldfor128francsinApril，1828；for201francsin1837。ThenthebookwasgloriouslyboundbyTrautz-Bauzonnet，andwassoldwithPotier'sbooksin1870，whenitfetched2，910francs。AttheBenzonsale（1875）itfetched3，255
francs，and，fallingdreadfullyinprice，wassoldagainin1877for2，200francs。M。Dutuit，atRouen，hasatallercopy，boundbyBauzonnet。Lasttimeitwassold（1851）itbrought251francs。TheDucdeChartreshasnowthecopyofPieters，thehistorianoftheElzevirs，valuedat3，000francs。
AboutthirtyyearsagonofewerthanthreecopiesweresoldatBrighton，ofallplaces。M。QuentinBaucharthadacopyonly127
millimetresinheight，whichheswoppedtoM。Paillet。M。
Chartener，ofMetz，hadacopynowboundbyBauzonnetwhichwassoldforfourfrancsin1780。Wecallthistheageofcheapbooks，butbeforetheRevolutionbookswerecheaper。Itisfairtosay，however，thatthisexampleofthe'Pastissier'wasthenboundupwithanotherbook，Vlacq'seditionof'LeCuisinierFrancois，'andsowentcheaperthanitwouldotherwisehavedone。M。deFontainedeResbecqdeclaresthatafriendofhisboughtsixoriginalpiecesofMoliere'sboundupwithanoldFrenchtranslationofGarth's'Dispensary。'Theonefainthopelefttothepoorbookcollectoristhathemayfindavaluabletractlurkingintheleavesofsomeboundcollectionoftrash。IhaveanoriginalcopyofMoliere's'LesFascheux'boundupwithatreatiseonpreciousstones，butthebooksellerfromwhomIboughtitknewitwasthere！Thatmadeallthedifference。
But，toreturntoour'Pastissier，'hereisM。deFontainedeResbecq'saccountofhowhewooedandwonhisowncopyofthisillustriousElzevir。"Ibeganmywalkto-day，"saysthishaunterofancientstalls，"bythePontMarieandtheQuaidelaGreve，thepillarsofHerculesofthebook-huntingworld。Afterhavingviewedandreviewedtheseremotebooks，Iwasgoingaway，whenmyattentionwascaughtbyasmallnakedvolume，withoutastitchofbinding。I
seizedit，andwhatwasmydelightwhenIrecognisedoneoftherarestofthatfamedElzevircollectionwhoseheightismeasuredasminutelyasthecaratsofthediamond。Therewasnoindicationofpriceontheboxwherethisjewelwaslying；thebook，thoughunbound，wasperfectlycleanwithin。'Howmuch？'saidItothebookseller。'Youcanhaveitforsixsous，'heanswered；'isittoomuch？''No，'saidI，and，tremblingalittle，Ihandedhimthethirtycentimesheaskedforthe'PastissierFrancois。'Youmaybelieve，myfriend，thataftersuchapieceofluckatthestart，onegoeshomefondlyembracingthebelovedobjectofone'ssearch。
ThatisexactlywhatIdid。"
Canthistalebetrue？Issuchluckgivenbythejealousfatesmortalibusaegris？M。deResbecq'sfindwasmadeapparentlyin1856，whentroutwereplentyinthestreams，andrarebooksnotsoveryrare。TomyownknowledgeanEnglishcollectorhasboughtanoriginalplayofMoliere's，intheoriginalvellum，foreighteenpence。Butnoonehassuchluckanylonger。Not，atleast，inLondon。Amoreexpensive'Pastissier'thanthatwhichbroughtsixsouswaspricedinBachelin-Deflorenne'scatalogueat240
pounds。Acuriousthingoccurredwhentwouncut'Pastissiers'
turnedupsimultaneouslyinParis。OneofthemMorgandandFatoutsoldfor400pounds。Cleverpeoplearguedthatoneofthetwinuncut'Pastissiers'mustbeanimitation，afacsimilebymeansofphotogravure，orsomeotherprocess。Butitwastriumphantlyestablishedthatbothweregenuine；theyhadminutepointsofdifferenceintheornaments。
M。Willems，thelearnedhistorianoftheElzevirs，isindignantatthesuccessesofabookwhich，asBrunetdeclares，isbadlyprinted。
Theremustbeatleastfortyknown'Pastissiers'intheworld。Yes；
butthereareatleast4，000peoplewhowouldgreatlyrejoicetopossessa'Pastissier，'andsomeofthesedesirousonesareverywealthy。Whilethisstateofthemarketendures，the'Pastissier'
willfetchhigherpricesthantheothervarieties。AnotherextremelyrareElzeviris'L'IllustreTheatredeMons。Corneille'
（Leyden，1644）。Thiscontains'LeCid，''LesHoraces，''LeCinna，'
'LaMortdePompee，''LePolyeucte。'Thename，'L'IllustreTheatre，'appearingatthatdatehasaninterestofitsown。In1643-44，MoliereandMadeleineBejarthadjuststartedthecompanywhichtheycalled'L'IllustreTheatre。'Onlysixorsevencopiesofthebookareactuallyknown，thoughthreeorfourarebelievedtoexistinEngland，probablyallcoveredwithdustinthelibraryofsomelord。"Hehasaverygoodlibrary，"Ionceheardsomeonesaytoanobleearl，whoseownlibrarywasfamous。"Andwhatcanafellowdowithaverygoodlibrary？"answeredthedescendantoftheCrusaders，whoprobably（beingayouthlight-heartedandcontent）
wasignorantofhisowngreatpossessions。Anexpensivecopyof'L'IllustreTheatre，'boundbyTrautz-Bauzonnet，wassoldfor300
pounds。
AmongElzevirsdesirable，yetnothopelesslyrare，isthe'Virgil'
of1636。Heinsiuswastheeditorofthisbeautifulvolume，prettilyprinted，butincorrect。ProbablyitishardtocorrectwithabsoluteaccuracyworksintheclearbutminutetypewhichtheElzevirsaffected。Theyhavewonfamebytheeleganceoftheirbooks，buttheirintentionwastosellgoodbookscheap，likeMichelLevy。Thesmalltypewasrequiredtogetplentyof"copy"intolittlebulk。NicholasHeinsius，thesonoftheeditorofthe'Virgil，'whenhecametocorrecthisfather'sedition，foundthatitcontainedsomanycoquilles，ormisprints，astobenearlythemostincorrectcopyintheworld。Heynesays，"Letthe'Virgil'beoneoftherareElzevirs，ifyouplease，butwithinithasscarcelyatraceofanygoodquality。"Yetthefirsteditionofthisbeautifullittlebook，withitstwopassagesofredletters，issodesirablethat，tillhecouldpossessit，CharlesNodierwouldnotprofanehisshelvesbyany'Virgil'atall。
Equallyfineisthe'Caesar'of1635，which，withthe'Virgil'of1636andthe'Imitation'withoutdate，M。WillemsthinksthemostsuccessfulworksoftheElzevirs，"oneofthemostenviablejewelsinthecasketofthebibliophile。"Itmayberecognisedbythepage238，whichiserroneouslyprinted248。Agoodaverageheightisfrom125to128millimetres。Thehighestknownis130millimetres。
Thisbook，likethe'Imitation，'hasoneoftheprettyandingeniousfrontispieceswhichtheElzevirsprefixedtotheirbooks。Sofarewell，andgoodspeedinyoursport，yehuntersofElzevirs，andmayyoufindperhapstherarestElzevirofall，'L'AimableMeredeJesus。'
BALLADEOFTHEREALANDIDEAL（DOUBLEREFRAIN）
Ovisionsofsalmontremendous，Oftroutofunusualweight，OfwatersthatwanderasKendoes，YecomethroughtheIvoryGate！
Buttheskiesthatbringnevera"spate，"
Butthefliesthatcatchupinathorn，Butthecreelthatisbarrenoffreight，Throughtheportalsofhorn！
OdreamsoftheFatesthatattendusWithprintsintheearlieststate，Obargainsinbooksthattheysendus，YecomethroughtheIvoryGate！
Butthetomethathasneveramate，Butthequartothat'statteredandtorn，Andbereftofatitleanddate，Throughtheportalsofhorn！
Odreamsofthetonguesthatcommendus，Ofcrownsforthelaureatepate，Ofapublictobuyandbefriendus，YecomethroughtheIvoryGate！
Butthecriticsthatslashusandslate，{2}
Butthepeoplethatholdusinscorn，Butthesorrow，thescathe，andthehate，Throughtheportalsofhorn！
ENVOY。
Fairdreamsofthingsgoldenandgreat，YecomethroughtheIvoryGate；
Butthefactsthatarebleakandforlorn，Throughtheportalsofhorn！
CURIOSITIESOFPARISHREGISTERS
Therearethreeclassesofpersonswhoaredeeplyconcernedwithparishregisters——namely，villains，antiquaries，andthesedulousreaders，"parishclerksandothers，"ofthesecondor"agony"columnoftheTimes。Villainsareprobablythemostnumerousofthesethreeclasses。Thevillainoffictiondearlylovesaparishregister：hecutsoutpages，insertsothers，intercalatesremarksinadifferentcolouredink，andgenerallymanipulatestheregisterasaGreekmanageshishandatecarte，orasaHebrewdealerinMoabitebric-a-bractreatsasynagogueroll。Wewellrememberonevillainwhohadlockedhimselfintothevestry（hewasdisguisedasanarchaeologist），andwhowasenjoyinghiswickedpleasurewiththeregister，whenthevestrysomehowcaughtfire，therustykeywouldnotturninthedoor，andthevillainwasroastedalive，inspiteofthedisinterestedeffortstosavehimmadebyallthevirtuouscharactersinthestory。Letthefateofthisbold，badmanbeawarningtowickedearls，baronets，andallotherswhoattempttodestroytherecordofthemarriageofahero'sparents。Fatewillbetoostrongfortheminthelongrun，thoughtheybribetheparishclerk，orcarryoffinwhitewaxanimpressionofthekeysofthevestryandoftheironchestinwhicharegistershouldrepose。
Thereisanotherandmoreprosaicdangerinthewayofvillains，ifthenewbill，entitled"TheParishRegistersPreservationAct，"everbecomeslaw。Thebillprovidesthateveryregisterearlierthan1837shallbecommittedtothecareoftheMasteroftheRolls，andremovedtotheRecordOffice。NowthecommonvillainoffictionwouldfeelsadlyoutofplaceintheRegisterOffice，whereamorewatchfuleyethanthatofacomicparishclerkwouldbekeptonhisproceedings。Villainsandlocalantiquarieswill，therefore，usealltheirparliamentaryinfluencetoopposeanddelaythisbill，whichiscertainlyhardontheparisharchaeologist。Themenwhogrubintheirlocalregisters，andslowlycompileparishorcountyhistory，deservetobeencouragedratherthandepressed。Mr。
ChesterWaters，therefore，hassuggestedthatcopiesofregistersshouldbemade，andthecomparativelylegiblecopyleftintheparish，whilethecrabbedoriginalisconveyedtotheRecordOfficeinLondon。Thusthelocalantiquarywouldreallyhavehisworkmademoreeasyforhim（thoughitmaybedoubtedwhetherhewouldquiteenjoythatcondescension），whilethevillainofromancewouldbefoiled；foritisuseless（asanovelofMr。ChristieMurray'sproves）toaltertheregisterinthekeepingoftheparishwhentheoriginaldocumentissafeintheRecordOffice。Butpreviousexamplesofenforcedtranscription（asin1603）donotencourageustosupposethatthecopieswouldbeveryscrupulouslymade。Thus，aftertheReformation，theprayersforthedeadintheoldregisterswereomittedbythecopyist，whoseemedtothink（asthecontractorfor"sandwichmen"saidtothepoorfellowswhocarriedtheletterH），"Idon'twantyou，andthepublicdon'twantyou，andyou'renousetonobody。"Again，whenLaurenceFletcherwasburiedinSt。
Saviour's，Southwark，in1608，theoldregisterdescribedhimas"aplayer，theKing'sservant。"Buttheclerk，keepinganote-book，simplycalledLaurenceFletcher"aman，"and（in1625）healsostyledMr。JohnFletcher"aman。"Now，theoldregistercallsMr。
JohnFletcher"apoet。"TocopyalltheparishregistersinEnglandwouldbeaveryserioustask，andwouldprobablybebutslovenlyperformed。Iftheywerereproduced，again，byanyprocessofphotography，theolddifficultcourthandwouldremainashardasever。Butthisisaminorobjection，forthelocalantiquaryrevelsintheoldcourthand。
FromthelittlevolumebyMr。ChesterWaters，alreadyreferredto（'ParishRegistersinEngland；'printedfortheauthorbyF。J。
Roberts，LittleBritain，E。C。），weproceedtoappropriatesuchmattersofcuriosityasmayinterestmindsneitherparochialnordoggedlyantiquarian。Parishregistersamongthecivilisedpeoplesofantiquitydonotgreatlyconcernus。ItseemscertainthatmanyPolynesianraceshavemanagedtorecord（inverse，orbysomerudemarks）thegenealogiesoftheirchiefsthroughmanyhundredsofyears。Theseoralregistersareacceptedasfairlytruthfulbysomestudents，yetwemustrememberthatPindarsupposedhimselftopossessknowledgeofatleasttwenty-fivegenerationsbeforehisowntime，andthatonlybroughthimuptothebirthofJason。NobodybelievesinJasonandMedea，andpossiblythegenealogicalrecordsofMaorisandFijiansareaslittletrustworthyasthoseofPindaricGreece。However，toconsiderthusistoconsidertoocuriously。Weonlyknowforcertainthatgenealogyverysoonbecomesimportant，and，therefore，thatrecordsareearlykept，inagrowingcivilisation。"AfterNehemiah'sreturnfromthecaptivityinBabylon，thepriestsatJerusalemwhoseregisterwasnotfoundwereaspollutedputfromthepriesthood。"Romehadherparishregisters，whichwerekeptinthetempleofSaturn。Butmodernparishregisterswere"discovered"（likeAmerica）in1497，whenCardinalXimenesfounditdesirabletoputonrecordthenamesofthegodfathersandgodmothersofbaptisedchildren。Whentheserelationsof"gossip，"orGod'skin（asthewordliterallymeans），werenotcertainlyknown，marriedpersonscouldeasilyobtaindivorces，bypretendingpreviousspiritualrelationship。
ButitwasonlyduringthereignofMary，（calledtheBloody）thatthisruleofregisteringgodfathersandgodmothersprevailedinEngland。HenryVIII。introducedthecustomofparishregisterswheninaProtestanthumour。Bytheway，howcuriouslyhasMadamedeFlamareil（lafemmedequaranteans，inCharlesdeBernard'snovel）
anticipatedtheverdictofMr。FroudeonHenryVIII。！'OnaccuseHenriVIII。，'ditMadamedeFlamareil，"moijelecomprends，etjel'absous；c'etaituncoeurgenereux，lorsqu'ilnelesaimaitplus，illestuait。'"ThepublicofEnglandmistrusted，inthematterofparishregisters，thegenerousheartofHenryVIII。Itisthefixedconvictionofthepublicthatallnoveltiesinadministrationmeannewtaxes。ThustheCroatianpeasantrywereonceonthepointofrevoltingbecausetheyimaginedthattheyweretobetaxedinproportiontothelengthoftheirmoustaches。TheEnglishbelieved，andtheinsurgentsofthefamousPilgrimageofGracedeclared，thatbaptismwastoberefusedtoallchildrenwhodidnotpaya"trybette"（tribute）totheking。ButHenry，orratherhisminister，Cromwell，stucktohisplan，and（September29，1538）
issuedaninjunctionthataweeklyregisterofweddings，christenings，andburialsshouldbekeptbythecurateofeveryparish。Thecostofthebook（twopenceinthecaseofSt。
Margaret's，Westminster）wasdefrayedbytheparishioners。Theoldestextantregisterbooksarethosethusacquiredin1597or1603。Thesevolumeswereofparchment，andentrieswerecopiedintothemoutoftheoldbooksonpaper。Thecopyists，aswehaveseen，wereindolent，andomittedcharacteristicpointsinthemoreancientrecords。
Inthecivilwarparishregistersfellintosomeconfusion，andwhentheclergydidmakeentriestheycommonlyexpressedtheirpoliticalfeelingsinamixtureofLatinandEnglish。Latin，bytheway，wentoutasProtestantismcamein，butthecurateofRotherby，inLeicestershire，writes，"Bellum，Bellum，Bellum，interruption！
persecution！"AtSt。Bridget's，inChester，isthequaintentry，"1643。Heretheregisterisdefectivetill1653。ThetymeswereSUCH！"AtHilton，inDorset，WilliamSnoke，minister，enteredhisopinionthatpersonswhosebaptismandmarriagewerenotregistered"willbemadeuncapableofanyearthlyinheritanceiftheylive。
ThisInoteforthesatisfactionofanythatdo："thoughwemaydoubtwhethertheseparishionersfoundtheinformationthusconveyedhighlysatisfactory。
TheregisterofMaid'sMoreton，Bucks，tellshowthereading-desk（aspreadeagle，gilt）was"doomedtoperishasanabominableidoll；"
andhowthecrossonthesteeplenearly（butnotquite）knockedoutthebrainsofthePuritanwhoremovedit。ThePuritanshadtheirwaywiththeregistersaswellaswiththeeagle（"thevowl，"astheoldcountrypeoplecallit），andlaymentooktheplaceofparsonsasregistrarsin1653。Thebooksfrom1653to1660，whilethisregimelasted，"werekeptexceptionallywell，"newbroomssweepingclean。
ThebooksoftheperiodcontainfeweroftheoldPuritanChristiannamesthanwemighthaveexpected。Wefind，"REPENTEKytchens，"sostyledbeforethepoorlittlethinghadanythingbutoriginalsintorepentof。"FAINTNOTKennard"isalsoregistered，and"FREEGIFT
Mabbe。"
Anoveltywasintroducedintoregistersin1678。Thelawrequired（forpurposesofprotectingtrade）thatallthedeadshouldbeburiedinwoollenwinding-sheets。ThepriceofthewoolwastheoboluspaidtotheCharonoftheRevenue。AfterMarch25，1667，nopersonwastobe"buriedinanyshirt，shift，orsheetotherthatshouldbemadeofwooleonly。"ThuswhenthechildreninalittleOxfordshirevillagelatelybeheldaghost，"dressedinalongnarrowgownofwoollen，withbandagesroundtheheadandchin，"itisclearthattheghostwasmuchmorethanahundredyearsold，fortheact"hadfallenintodisuselongbeforeitwasrepealedin1814。"Butthishaslittletodowithparishregisters。Theadditionmadetothedutiesofthekeeperoftheregisterin1678wasthis——hehadtotakeandrecordtheaffidavitofakinsmanofthedead，totheeffectthatthecorpsewasactuallyburiedinwoollenfabric。Theupperclasses，however，preferredtoburyinlinen，andtopaythefineof5L。WhenMistressOldfield，thefamousactress，wasinterredin1730，herbodywasarrayed"inaveryfineBrusselslaceheaddress，ahollandshiftwithatuckeranddoublerufflesofthesamelace，andapairofnewkidgloves。"
In1694anemptyexchequerwasreplenishedbyataxonmarriages，births，andburials，theveryextortionwhichhadbeenfearedbytheinsurgentsinthePilgrimageofGrace。Thetaxcollectorshadaccesswithoutpaymentoffeetotheregisters。TheregistrationofbirthswasdiscontinuedwhentheTaxationActsexpired。Anattempttointroducetheregistrationofbirthswasmadein1753，butunsuccessfully。Thepublichadtheoldsuperstitiousdreadofanythinglikeacensus。Moreover，thecustomwasdenouncedas"French，"andthereforeabominable。Inthesamewayitwasthoughttellingtocallthecloture"theFrenchgag"duringsomerecentdiscussionsofparliamentaryrules。In1783theparishregisterwasagainmadetheinstrumentoftaxation，andthreepencewaschargedoneveryentry。Thus"theclergymanwasplacedintheinvidiouslightofataxcollector，andasthepoorwereoftenunableorunwillingtopaythetax，theclergyhadadirectinducementtoretaintheirgood-willbykeepingtheregistersdefective。"
ItiseasytoimaginetheindignationinScotlandwhen"bangwentsaxpence"everytimeapoormanhadtwins！OfcoursetheScotchroseupagainstthisunparalleledextortion。Atlast，in1812，"Rose'sAct"waspassed。Itisstyled"anActforthebetterregulatingandpreservingregistersofbirths，"buttheregistrationofbirthsisaltogetheromittedfromitsprovisions。Byastrokeofthewildestwitthepenaltyoftransportationforfourteenyears，formakingafalseentry，"istobedividedequallybetweentheinformerandthepooroftheparish。"AmorecasualActhasrarelybeendrafted。
Withoutenteringintothemodernhistoryofparishregisters，wemayborrowafewoftheancientcuriositiestobefoundtherein，theblundersandthewaggeriesofforgottenpriests，andcurates，andparishclerks。Inquiterecenttimes（1832）itwasthoughtworthwhiletorecordthatCharityMorrellatherweddinghadsignedhernameintheregisterwithherrightfoot，andthattheringhadbeenplacedonthefourthtoeofherleftfoot；forpoorCharitywasbornwithoutarms。Sometimesthetimeofabirthwasrecordedwithmuchminuteness，thattheastrologersmightdrawamoreaccuratehoroscope。Unluckychildren，withnoacknowledgedfathers，wereenteredinavarietyofoddways。InLambeth（1685），GeorgeSpeedwellisputdownas"amerrybegot；"AnneTwineis"filiauniuscujusque。"AtCroydon，acertainWilliamis"terraefilius"
（1582），anautochthonousinfant。Amongthequeernamesoffoundlingsare"Nameless，""Godsend，""Subpoena，"and"MoysesandAaron，twochildrenfound，"notinthebulrushes，but"inthestreet。"
Therulewastogivethefoundlingforsurnamethenameoftheparish，andfromtheTempleChurchcamenofewerthanonehundredandfourfoundlingsnamed"Temple，"between1728and1755。TheseTemplesaretheplebeiangensofthepatricianhousewhichclaimsdescentfromGodiva。TheuseofsurnamesasChristiannamesislaterthantheReformation，andistheresultofareactionagainsttheexclusiveuseofsaints'namesfromthecalendar。AnotherexampleofthesamereactionistheuseofOldTestamentnames，and"AnaniasandSapphirawerefavouritenameswiththePresbyterians。"
ItisonlyfairtoaddthatthesenamesarenolongerpopularwithPresbyterians，atanyrateintheKirkofScotland。TheoldPuritanargumentwasthatyouwouldhardlyselectthenameoftoonotoriousascripturalsinner，"asbearingtestimonytothetriumphofgraceoveroriginalsin。"ButinAmericaaclergymanhasbeenknowntodeclinetochristenachild"PontiusPilate，"andnowonder。
Entriesofburialsinancienttimesoftencontainedsomebiographicalinformationaboutthedeceased。Butnothingcouldpossiblybevaguerthanthis："1615，February28，St。Martin's，Ludgate，wasburiedananatomyfromtheCollegeofPhysicians。"
Man，woman，orchild，sinnerorsaint，weknownot，onlythat"ananatomy"foundChristianburialinSt。Martin's，Ludgate。Howmuchmorefullandcharacteristicisthis，fromSt。Peter's-in-the-East，Oxford（1568）：'TherewasburiedAlyce，thewiffofanaughtyfellowwhosenameisMatthewManne。'ThereisimmortalityforMatthewManne，andthereis，inshort-hand，thetragedyof"Alycehiswiff。"ThereaderofthisrecordknowsmoreofMatthewthanintwohundredyearsanyoneislikelytoknowofuswhomoraliseoverMatthew！AtKyloe，inNorthumberland，theintellectualdefectsofHenryWatsonhave，likethenaughtinessofManne，securedhimameasureoffame。（1696。）"Henrywassogreatafooll，thathenevercouldputonhisownclose，norneverwentaquarterofamileoffthehouse，"asVoltaire'sMemnonresolvednevertodo，andasPascalpartlyrecommends。
WhathadMaryWoodfielddonetodeservethealiaswhichtheCroydonregistergivesherof"QueenofHell"？（1788。）Distinguishedpeoplewereburiedineffigy，inallthedifferentchurcheswithwhichtheywereconnected，andeachshamburialservicewasenteredintheparishregisters，asnareandstumbling-blocktothehistorian。
Thiscuriouscustomisveryancient。ThuswereadintheOdysseythatwhenMenelausheardinEgyptofthedeathofAgamemnonherearedforhimacenotaph，andpiledanemptybarrow"thatthefameofthedeadmanmightneverbequenched。"ProbablythisoldusagegaverisetotheclaimsofseveralGreekcitiestopossessthetombofthisorthatancienthero。Aheroictomb，asofCassandraforexample，severaltownshadtoshow，butwhichwasthetruegrave，whichwerethecenotaphs？QueenElizabethwasburiedinalltheLondonchurches，andpoorCassandrahadherbarrowinArgos，Mycenae，andAmyclae。
"Adrynkyngforthesoul"ofthedead，a[Greektext]orfuneralfeast，wasascommoninEnglandbeforetheReformationasinancientGreece。JamesCooke，ofSporle，inNorfolk（1528），leftsixshillingsandeightpencetopayforthis"drynkyngforhissoul；"
andthefuneralfeast，whichlongsurvivedinthedistributionofwine，wafers，androsemary，stillenduresasaslightcollationofwineandcakeinScotland。Whatafuneralcouldbe，aslateas1731，Mr。ChesterWatersprovesbythebillfortheburialofAndrewCard，seniorbencherofGray'sInn。Thedeceasedwasbraveina"superfinepinkedshroud"（cheapat1L。5S。6D。），andtherewereeightlargeplatecandle-sticksonstandsroundthedais，andninety-sixbuckramescutcheons。Thepall-bearersworeAlamodehatbandscoveredwithfrizances，andsodidthedivineswhowerepresentatthemelancholybutgorgeousfunction。Ahundredmeninmourningcarriedahundredwhitewaxbranchlights，andtheglovesoftheportersinGray'sInnwereash-colouredwithblackpoints。
Yetthewinecostnomorethan1L。19S。6D。；a"dealofsack，"bynomeans"intolerable。"
Leavingthefunerals，wefindthattheparishregistersometimesrecordsancientandobsoletemodesofdeath。Thus，martyrsarescarcenow，buttheregisterofAllSaints'，Derby，1556，mentions"apoorblindewomancalledJoanWaste，ofthisparish，amartyr，burnedinWindmillpit。"ShewascondemnedbyRalphBaynes，BishopofCoventryandLichfield。In1558，atRichmond，inYorkshire，wefind"RichardSnell，b'rnt，bur。9Sept。"AtCroydon，in1585，RogerShepherdprobablyneverexpectedtobeeatenbyalioness。
Rogerwasnot，likeWyllyamBarker，"acommondrunkardandblasphemer，"andwecannotregardtheCroydonlioness，liketheNemeanlion，asamiraculousmonstersentagainstthecountyofSurreyforthesinsofthepeople。Thelioness"wasbroughtintothetowntobeseenofsuchaswouldgivemoneytoseeher。He"
（Roger）"wassorewoundedinsundryplaces，andwasburiedthe26thAug。"
In1590，theregisterofSt。Oswald's，Durham，informsusthat"Duke，Hyll，Hogge，andHoliday"werehangedandburnedfor"therehorribleoffences。"ThearmofoneofthesehorribleoffenderswaspreservedatSt。Omerastherelicofamartyr，"amostprecioustreasure，"in1686。ButnooneknewwhetherthearmbelongedoriginallytoHoliday，Hyll，Duke，orHogge。Thecoals，whentheseunfortunatemenwereburned，costsixpence；theotheritemsintheaccountoftheabominableexecutionare，perhaps，toorepulsivetobequoted。
AccordingtosomecriticsoftheBritishgovernment，wedonottreattheEgyptianswell。ButourconducttowardstheFellahshascertainlyimprovedsincethisentrywasmadeintheregisterofSt。
Nicholas，Durham（1592，August8th）：'Simson，Arington，Featherston，Fenwick，andLancaster，WEREHANGEDFORBEING
EGYPTIANS。'Theywere，infact，gypsies，orhadbeenconsortingwithgypsies，andtheysufferedunder5Eliz。c。20。In1783thisstatutewasabolished，andwasevenconsidered"alawofexcessiveseverity。"Forevenahundredyearsago"thepulingcantofsicklyhumanitarianism"wasmakingitselfheardtotheinjuryofoursturdyoldEnglishlegislation。Tobekilledbyapoetisnowanunusualfate，buttheSt。Leonard's，Shoreditch，register（1598）mentionshow"GabrielSpencer，beingslayne，wasburied。"Gabrielwas"slayne"byRareBenJonson，inHoxtonFields。
Theburningofwitchesis，naturally，notanuncommoniteminparishregisters，andissetforthinabold，business-likemanner。OnAugust21（1650）fifteenwomenandonemanwereexecutedfortheimaginarycrimeofwitchcraft。"Agrave，forawitch，sixpence，"isaniteminthemunicipalaccounts。AndthegravewasacheaphavenforthepoorwomanwhohadbeencommittedtothetendermerciesofaScotchwitch-trier。Cetewayo'smedicine-men，who"smeltout"
witches，wereonlysometwocenturiesintherearofourcivilisation。ThreehundredyearsagoBishopJewell，preachingbeforeElizabeth，wasquiteofthemindofCetewayoandSaul，astothewickednessofsufferingawitchtolive。Aslateas1691，theregisterofHolyIsland，Northumberland，mentions"WilliamCleugh，bewitchedtodeath，"andthesuperstitionisalmostaspowerfulaseveramongtheruralpeople。BetweenJuly13andJuly24（1699）thewidowComon，inEssex，wasthriceswumforawitch。Shewasnotdrowned，butsurvivedherimmersionforonlyfivemonths。A
singularhomicideisrecordedatNewingtonButts，1689。"JohnArrisandDerwickFarlininonegrave，beingbothDutchsoldiers；onekilledtheotherdrinkingbrandy。"Butwhoslewtheslayer？Theregisterissilent；but"ofteneatingashoulderofmuttonorapeckofhastypuddingatatimecausedthedeathofJamesParsons，"atTeddington，inMiddlesex，1743。Parsonshadresistedtheeffectsofshouldersofmuttonandhastypuddingtilltheageofthirty-six。
Andsotheregistersrunon。Sometimestheytellofthedeathofaglutton，sometimesofaGRACEWYFE（grossefemme）。Nowthebelltollsforthedeceaseofaduke，nowofa"dog-whipper。"
"Lutenists"and"Saltpetremen"——theskeletonoftheoldGermanallegorywhisperstoeachandtwitcheshimbythesleeve。"EllisThompson，insipiens，"leavesChester-le-Street，wherehehadgabbledandscrabbledonthedoors，andfollows"William，fooletomyLadyJerningham，"and"EdwardErrington，theTowne'sFooll"（Newcastle-
on-Tyne）downthewaytodustydeath。EdwardErringtondied"ofthepest，"andanotheridiottookhisplaceandoffice，forNewcastlehadherregulartownfoolsbeforesheacquiredhersingularlyadvancedmodernrepresentatives。The"aquavityman"dies（inCripplegate），andthe"dumb-manwhowasafortune-teller"（Stepney，1628），andthe"King'sFalkner，"andMr。GregoryIsham，whocombinedtheprofessions，notfrequentlyunited，of"attorneyandhusbandman，"inBarwell，Leicestershire（1655）。"Thelamechimney-
sweeper，"andthe"Kingofthegypsies，"andAlexanderWillis，"quicalographiamdocuit，"thelinguist，andtheTomo'Bedlam，thecomfit-maker，andthepanyer-man，andthetack-maker，andthesuicide，theyallfounddeath；or，iftheysoughthim，thechurchyardwheretheywere"hurledintoagrave"wasinterdicted，andpurified，afterafortnight，with"frankincenseandsweetperfumes，andherbs。"
Sometimespeoplediedwholesaleofpestilence，andtheLongboroughregistermentionsafreshwayofdeath，"theswatcalledNewAcquaintance，aliasStoupeKnave，andknowthymaster。"Anothermaladywas'thepostingswet，thatpostedfromtownetotownethroughEngland。'Theplagueof1591wasimportedinbalesofclothfromtheLevant，justasBritishcommercestillpatrioticallytriestointroducecholeraincargoesofEgyptianrags。TheregisterofMalpas，inCheshire（Aug。24，1625），hasthisstrangestoryoftheplague：-
"RichardDawsonbeingsickeoftheplague，andperceivinghemustdieatyttime，aroseoutofhisbed，andmadehisgrave，andcausedhisnefew，JohnDawson，tocaststraweintothegravewhichwasnotfarrefromthehouse，andwentandlay'dhimdowninthesay'dgrave，andcausedclothestobelay'dupponandsodep'tedoutofthisworld；thishedidbecausehewasastrongman，andheavierthanhissaidnefewandanotherwenchwereabletobury。"
AndJohnDawsondied，andRoseSmyth，the"wench"alreadyspokenof，died，thelastofthehousehold。
Oldcustomssurviveintheparishregisters。Scoldingwiveswereducked，andinKingston-on-Thames，1572，theregistertellshowthesexton'swife"wassettonanewcukking-stoole，andbroughttoTemesbrydge，andtherehadthreeduckingsoverheadanderes，becauseshewasacommonscoldandfighter。"Thecucking-stool，averyelaborateengineofthelaw，cost1L。3S。4D。Menwereduckedforbeatingtheirwives，andifthatcustomwererevivedtheprofessionofcucking-stoolmakerwouldbecomebusyandlucrative。
Penancesofagraversortareonrecordintheregisters。MargaretSherioux，inCroydon（1597），wasorderedtostandthreemarketdaysinthetown，andthreeSundaysinthechurch，inawhitesheet。Thesinimputedtoherwasadreadfulone。"ShestoodoneSaturday，andoneSunday，anddiedthenext。"Innocentorguilty，thisworldwasnolongerafitabiding-placeforMargaretSherioux。Occasionallythekeeperoftheregisterenteredanyeventwhichseemedoutofthecommon。ThustheregisterofSt。Nicholas，Durham（1568），hasthiscontributiontonaturalhistory：-
"AcertaineItalianbroughtintothecittieofDurhamaverygreatestrangeandmonstrousserpent，inlengthsixteenfeet，inquantitieanddimentionsgreaterthanagreatehorse，whichwastakenandkilledbyspecialpolicie，inEthiopiawithintheTurkasdominions。
Butbeforeitwaskilled，ithaddevoured（asiscrediblythought）
morethan1，000persons，anddestroyedagreatcountry。"
ThismusthavebeenadescendantofthemonsterthatwouldhaveeatenAndromeda，andwasslainbyPerseusinthecountryoftheblamelessEthiopians。Collectionsofmoneyarerecordedoccasionally，asin1680，whennolessthanonepoundeightshillingswascontributed"forredemptionofChristians（takenbyyeTurkishpyrates）outofTurkishslavery。"TwohundredyearsagotheTurkwaspretty"unspeakable"still。OfallblunderingDogberries，themostconfusedkept（in1670）theparishregisteratMeltonMowbray：-
"Here[hewrites]isabillofBurtonLazareth'speople，whichwasburied，andwhichwasandmariedabove10yearsold，forbecausetheclarkewasdead，andthereforetheywasnotsetdownaccordingastheywas，buttheyallsetdownsureenoughoneamonganotherhereinthisplace。"
"Theyallsetdownsureenough，"nordoesitmattermuchnowtoknowwhomtheymarried，andhowlongtheylivedinMeltonMowbray。ThefollowingentrysufficedforthegreatVilliersthatexpired"intheworstinn'sworstroom，"——"KirkbyMoorside，Yorkshire，1687。
GeorgesvilarisLorddookeofBookingham，bur。17。April。"
"SomuchforBuckingham！"
THEROWFANTBOOKS
BALLADEENGUISEDERONDEAU
TheRowfantbooks，howfairtheyshew，TheQuartoquaint，theAldinetall，Print，autograph，portfolio！
Backfromtheouterairtheycall，TheathletesfromtheTennisball，ThisRhymerfromhisrodandhooks，WouldIcouldsingthemoneandall，TheRowfantbooks！
TheRowfantbooks！InsunandsnowThey'redear，butmostwhentempestsfall；
ThefoliotowersabovetherowAsonce，o'erminorprophets，——Saul！
Whatjollyjestbooksandwhatsmall"DeardumpyTwelves"tofillthenooks。
YoudonotfindoneverystallTheRowfantbooks！
TheRowfantbooks！TheselongagoWerechainedwithinsomeCollegehall；
ThesemanuscriptsretaintheglowOfmanyacolouredcapitalWhileyettheSatireskeeptheirgall，WhilethePastissierpuzzlescooks，Theirsisajoythatdoesnotpall，TheRowfantbooks！
ENVOI。
TheRowfantbooks，——ahmagicalAsfamedArmida's"goldenlooks，"
Theyholdtherhymerfortheirthrall，TheRowfantbooks。
TOF。L。
ImindthatForestShepherd'ssaw，For，whenmenpreachedofHeaven，quothhe，"It'sa'that'sbricht，anda'that'sbraw，ButBourhope'sguideneuchforme！"
Beneaththegreendeep-bosomedhillsThatguardSaintMary'sLochitlies，ThesilenceofthepasturefillsThatshepherd'shomelyparadise。
Enoughforhimhismountainlake，Hisglentheburnwentsingingthrough，AndRowfant，whenthethrusheswake，Maywellseemgoodenoughforyou。
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Fairfirsteditions，dulyprized，Abovethemall，methinks，IrateThetomewhereWalton'shandrevisedHiswonderfulreceiptsforbait！
Happy，whorichintoysliketheseForgetsawearynation'sills，WhofromhisstudywindowseesThecircleoftheSussexhills！
SOMEJAPANESEBOGIE-BOOKS
ThereisorusedtobeapoemforinfantmindsofaratherPharisaicalcharacter，whichwaspopularinthenurserywhenIwasayoungster。Itransomethinglikethis：。
IthankmystarsthatIwasbornAlittleBritishchild。
Perhapsthesewerenottheverywords，butthatwasdecidedlythesentiment。LookattheJapaneseinfants，fromthepencilofthefamousHokusai。ThoughtheyarenotBritish，werethereevertwojollier，happiersmallcreatures？DidLeech，orMr。DuMaurier，orAndreadellaRobbiaeverpresentamoredelightfulviewofinnocent，well-pleasedchildhood？Well，theseJapanesechildren，iftheyareintheleastinclinedtobetimidornervous，musthaveanawfultimeofitatnightinthedark，andwhentheymakethateerie"northwestpassage"bedwardsthroughthedarklinghouseofwhichMr。