"Asnakegotintoyourhen-runyesterdaymorningandkilledsixoutofsevenpullets，firstmesmerisingthemwithitseyesandthenbitingthemastheystoodhelpless。TheseventhpulletwasoneofthatFrenchsort，withfeathersalloveritseyes，soitescapedthemesmericsnare，andjustflewatwhatitcouldseeofthesnakeandpeckedittopieces。"
"Thankyou，"saidBlenkinthropestiffly；"it'saverycleverinvention。Ifsuchathinghadreallyhappenedinmypoultry-runIadmitIshouldhavebeenproudandinterestedtotellpeopleaboutit。ButI'drathersticktofact，evenifitisplainfact。"AllthesamehisminddweltwistfullyonthestoryoftheSeventhPullet。Hecouldpicturehimselftellingitinthetrainamidtheabsorbedinterestofhisfellow-passengers。
Unconsciouslyallsortsoflittledetailsandimprovementsbegantosuggestthemselves。
Wistfulnesswasstillhisdominantmoodwhenhetookhisseatintherailwaycarriagethenextmorning。
OppositehimsatStevenham，whohadattainedtoarecognisedbrevetofimportancethroughthefactofanunclehavingdroppeddeadintheactofvotingataParliamentaryelection。Thathadhappenedthreeyearsago，butStevenhamwasstilldeferredtoonallquestionsofhomeandforeignpolitics。
"Hullo，how'sthegiantmushroom，orwhateveritwas？"wasallthenoticeBlenkinthropegotfromhisfellowtravellers。
YoungDuckby，whomhemildlydisliked，speedilymonopolisedthegeneralattentionbyanaccountofadomesticbereavement。
"Hadfouryoungpigeonscarriedofflastnightbyawhackingbigrat。Oh，amonsterhemusthavebeen；youcouldtellbythesizeoftheholehemadebreakingintotheloft。"
Nomoderate-sizedrateverseemedtocarryoutanypredatoryoperationsintheseregions；theywereallenormousintheirenormity。
"Prettyhardlinesthat，"continuedDuckby，seeingthathehadsecuredtheattentionandrespectofthecompany；"foursqueakerscarriedoffatoneswoop。You'dfinditratherhardtomatchthatinthewayofunlooked-
forbadluck。"
"Ihadsixpulletsoutofapenofsevenkilledbyasnakeyesterdayafternoon，"saidBlenkinthrope，inavoicewhichhehardlyrecognisedashisown。
"Byasnake？"cameinexcitedchorus。
"Itfascinatedthemwithitsdeadly，glitteringeyes，oneaftertheother，andstruckthemdownwhiletheystoodhelpless。Abedriddenneighbour，whowasn'tabletocallforassistance，witnesseditallfromherbedroomwindow。"
"Well，Inever！"brokeinthechorus，withvariations。
"Theinterestingpartofitisabouttheseventhpullet，theonethatdidn'tgetkilled，"resumedBlenkinthrope，slowlylightingacigarette。Hisdiffidencehadlefthim，andhewasbeginningtorealisehowsafeandeasydepravitycanseemonceonehasthecouragetobegin。"ThesixdeadbirdswereMinorcas；theseventhwasaHoudanwithamopoffeathersalloveritseyes。Itcouldhardlyseethesnakeatall，soofcourseitwasn'tmesmerisedliketheothers。Itjustcouldseesomethingwrigglingontheground，andwentforitandpeckedittodeath。"
"Well，I'mblessed！"exclaimedthechorus。
InthecourseofthenextfewdaysBlenkinthropediscoveredhowlittlethelossofone'sself-respectaffectsonewhenonehasgainedtheesteemoftheworld。
Hisstoryfounditswayintooneofthepoultrypapers，andwascopiedthenceintoadailynews-sheetasamatterofgeneralinterest。AladywrotefromtheNorthofScotlandrecountingasimilarepisodewhichshehadwitnessedasoccurringbetweenastoatandablindgrouse。Somehowalieseemssomuchlessreprehensiblewhenonecancallitalee。
ForawhiletheadapteroftheSeventhPulletstoryenjoyedtothefullhisalteredstandingasapersonofconsequence，onewhohadhadsomeshareinthestrangeeventsofhistimes。ThenhewasthrustonceagainintothecoldgreybackgroundbythesuddenblossomingintoimportanceofSmith-Paddon，adailyfellow-traveller，whoselittlegirlhadbeenknockeddownandnearlyhurtbyacarbelongingtoamusical-comedyactress。Theactresswasnotinthecaratthetime，butshewasinnumerousphotographswhichappearedintheillustratedpapersofZotoDobreeninquiringafterthewell-beingofMaisie，daughterofEdmundSmith-Paddon，Esq。WiththisnewhumaninteresttoabsorbthemthetravellingcompanionswerealmostrudewhenBlenkinthropetriedtoexplainhiscontrivanceforkeepingvipersandperegrinefalconsoutofhischicken-run。
Gorworth，towhomheunburdenedhimselfinprivate，gavehimthesamecounselasheretofore。
"Inventsomething。"
"Yes，butwhat？"
Thereadyaffirmativecoupledwiththequestionbetrayedasignificantshiftingoftheethicalstandpoint。
ItwasafewdayslaterthatBlenkinthroperevealedachapteroffamilyhistorytothecustomarygatheringintherailwaycarriage。
"Curiousthinghappenedtomyaunt，theonewholivesinParis，"hebegan。Hehadseveralaunts，buttheywereallgeographicallydistributedoverGreaterLondon。
"ShewassittingonaseatintheBoistheotherafternoon，afterlunchingattheRoumanianLegation。"
Whateverthestorygainedinpicturesquenessfromthedragging-inofdiplomatic"atmosphere，"itceasedfromthatmomenttocommandanyacceptanceasarecordofcurrentevents。Gorworthhadwarnedhisneophytethatthiswouldbethecase，butthetraditionalenthusiasmoftheneophytehadtriumphedoverdiscretion。
"Shewasfeelingratherdrowsy，theeffectprobablyofthechampagne，whichshe'snotinthehabitoftakinginthemiddleoftheday。"
Asubduedmurmurofadmirationwentroundthecompany。Blenkinthrope'sauntswerenotusedtotakingchampagneinthemiddleoftheyear，regardingitexclusivelyasaChristmasandNewYearaccessory。
"Presentlyaratherportlygentlemanpassedbyherseatandpausedaninstanttolightacigar。Atthatmomentayoungishmancameupbehindhim，drewthebladefromaswordstick，andstabbedhimhalfadozentimesthroughandthrough。'Scoundrel，'hecriedtohisvictim，'youdonotknowme。MynameisHenriLeturc。'
Theeldermanwipedawaysomeofthebloodthatwasspatteringhisclothes，turnedtohisassailant，andsaid：`Andsincewhenhasanattemptedassassinationbeenconsideredanintroduction？'Thenhefinishedlightinghiscigarandwalkedaway。Myaunthadintendedscreamingforthepolice，butseeingtheindifferencewithwhichtheprincipalintheaffairtreatedthemattershefeltthatitwouldbeanimpertinenceonherparttointerfere。OfcourseIneedhardlysaysheputthewholethingdowntotheeffectsofawarm，drowsyafternoonandtheLegationchampagne。Nowcomestheastonishingpartofmystory。AfortnightlaterabankmanagerwasstabbedtodeathwithaswordstickinthatverypartoftheBois。Hisassassinwasthesonofacharwomanformerlyworkingatthebank，whohadbeendismissedfromherjobbythemanageronaccountofchronicintemperance。HisnamewasHenriLeturc。"
FromthatmomentBlenkinthropewastacitlyacceptedastheMunchausenoftheparty。Noeffortwassparedtodrawhimoutfromdaytodayintheexerciseoftestingtheirpowersofcredulity，andBlenkinthrope，inthefalsesecurityofanassuredandreceptiveaudience，waxedindustriousandingeniousinsupplyingthedemandformarvels。Duckby'ssatiricalstoryofatameotterthathadatankinthegardentoswimin，andwhinedrestlesslywheneverthewater-ratewasoverdue，wasscarcelyanunfairparodyofsomeofBlenkinthrope'swilderefforts。AndthenonedaycameNemesis。
ReturningtohisvillaoneeveningBlenkinthropefoundhiswifesittinginfrontofapackofcards，whichshewasscrutinisingwithunusualconcentration。
"Thesameoldpatience-game？"heaskedcarelessly。
"No，dear；thisistheDeath'sHeadpatience，themostdifficultofthemall。I'venevergotittoworkout，andsomehowIshouldberatherfrightenedifIdid。
Motheronlygotitoutonceinherlife；shewasafraidofit，too。Hergreat-aunthaddoneitonceandfallendeadfromexcitementthenextmoment，andmotheralwayshadafeelingthatshewoulddieifsheevergotitout。
Shediedthesamenightthatshedidit。Shewasinbadhealthatthetime，certainly，butitwasastrangecoincidence。"
"Don'tdoitifitfrightensyou，"wasBlenkinthrope'spracticalcommentashelefttheroom。A
fewminuteslaterhiswifecalledtohim。
"John，itgavemesuchaturn，Inearlygotitout。
Onlythefiveofdiamondsheldmeupattheend。I
reallythoughtI'ddoneit。"
"Why，youcandoit，"saidBlenkinthrope，whohadcomebacktotheroom；"ifyoushifttheeightofclubsontothatopenninethefivecanbemovedontothesix。"
Hiswifemadethesuggestedmovewithhasty，tremblingfingers，andpiledtheoutstandingcardsontotheirrespectivepacks。Thenshefollowedtheexampleofhermotherandgreat-grand-aunt。
Blenkinthropehadbeengenuinelyfondofhiswife，butinthemidstofhisbereavementonedominantthoughtobtrudeditself。Somethingsensationalandrealhadatlastcomeintohislife；nolongerwasitagrey，colourlessrecord。Theheadlineswhichmightappropriatelydescribehisdomestictragedykeptshapingthemselvesinhisbrain。"Inheritedpresentimentcomestrue。""TheDeath'sHeadpatience：Card-gamethatjustifieditssinisternameinthreegenerations。"HewroteoutafullstoryofthefataloccurrencefortheESSEXVEDETTE，theeditorofwhichwasafriendofhis，andtoanotherfriendhegaveacondensedaccount，tobetakenuptotheofficeofoneofthehalfpennydailies。
Butinbothcaseshisreputationasaromancerstoodfatallyinthewayofthefulfilmentofhisambitions。
"NottherightthingtobeMunchauseninginatimeofsorrow"agreedhisfriendsamongthemselves，andabriefnoteofregretatthe"suddendeathofthewifeofourrespectedneighbour，Mr。JohnBlenkinthrope，fromheartfailure，"appearinginthenewscolumnofthelocalpaperwastheforlornoutcomeofhisvisionsofwidespreadpublicity。
Blenkinthropeshrankfromthesocietyofhiserstwhiletravellingcompanionsandtooktotravellingtownwardsbyanearliertrain。Hesometimestriestoenlistthesympathyandattentionofachanceacquaintanceindetailsofthewhistlingprowessofhisbestcanaryorthedimensionsofhislargestbeetroot；hescarcelyrecogniseshimselfasthemanwhowasoncespokenaboutandpointedoutastheowneroftheSeventhPullet。
THEBLINDSPOT
"YOU'VEjustcomebackfromAdelaide'sfuneral，haven'tyou？"saidSirLulworthtohisnephew；"Isupposeitwasverylikemostotherfunerals？"
"I'lltellyouallaboutitatlunch，"saidEgbert。
"You'lldonothingofthesort。Itwouldn'tberespectfuleithertoyourgreat-aunt'smemoryortothelunch。WebeginwithSpanisholives，thenaborshch，thenmoreolivesandabirdofsomekind，andaratherenticingRhenishwine，notatallexpensiveaswinesgointhiscountry，butstillquitelaudableinitsway。
Nowthere'sabsolutelynothinginthatmenuthatharmonisesintheleastwiththesubjectofyourgreat-
auntAdelaideorherfuneral。Shewasacharmingwoman，andquiteasintelligentasshehadanyneedtobe，butsomehowshealwaysremindedmeofanEnglishcook'sideaofaMadrascurry。"
"Sheusedtosayyouwerefrivolous，"saidEgbert。
Somethinginhistonesuggestedthatheratherendorsedtheverdict。
"IbelieveIonceconsiderablyscandalisedherbydeclaringthatclearsoupwasamoreimportantfactorinlifethanaclearconscience。Shehadverylittlesenseofproportion。Bytheway，shemadeyouherprincipalheir，didn'tshe？"
"Yes，"saidEgbert，"andexecutoraswell。It'sinthatconnectionthatIparticularlywanttospeaktoyou。"
"Businessisnotmystrongpointatanytime，"saidSirLulworth，"andcertainlynotwhenwe'reontheimmediatethresholdoflunch。"
"Itisn'texactlybusiness，"explainedEgbert，ashefollowedhisuncleintothedining-room。
"It'ssomethingratherserious。Veryserious。"
"Thenwecan'tpossiblyspeakaboutitnow，"saidSirLulworth；"noonecouldtalkseriouslyduringaborshch。Abeautifullyconstructedborshch，suchasyouaregoingtoexperiencepresently，oughtnotonlytobanishconversationbutalmosttoannihilatethought。
Lateron，whenwearriveatthesecondstageofolives，I
shallbequitereadytodiscussthatnewbookonBorrow，or，ifyoupreferit，thepresentsituationintheGrandDuchyofLuxemburg。ButIabsolutelydeclinetotalkanythingapproachingbusinesstillwehavefinishedwiththebird。"
ForthegreaterpartofthemealEgbertsatinanabstractedsilence，thesilenceofamanwhosemindisfocussedononetopic。Whenthecoffeestagehadbeenreachedhelaunchedhimselfsuddenlyathwarthisuncle'sreminiscencesoftheCourtofLuxemburg。
"IthinkItoldyouthatgreat-auntAdelaidehadmademeherexecutor。Therewasn'tverymuchtobedoneinthewayoflegalmatters，butIhadtogothroughherpapers。"
"Thatwouldbeafairlyheavytaskinitself。I
shouldimaginetherewerereamsoffamilyletters。"
"Stacksofthem，andmostofthemhighlyuninteresting。Therewasonepacket，however，whichI
thoughtmightrepayacarefulperusal。ItwasabundleofcorrespondencefromherbrotherPeter。"
"TheCanonoftragicmemory，"saidLulworth。
"Exactly，oftragicmemory，asyousay；atragedythathasneverbeenfathomed。"
"Probablythesimplestexplanationwasthecorrectone，"saidSirLulworth；"heslippedonthestonestaircaseandfracturedhisskullinfalling。"
Egbertshookhishead。"Themedicalevidenceallwenttoprovethattheblowontheheadwasstruckbysomeonecomingupbehindhim。Awoundcausedbyviolentcontactwiththestepscouldnotpossiblyhavebeeninflictedatthatangleoftheskull。Theyexperimentedwithadummyfigurefallingineveryconceivableposition。"
"Butthemotive？"exclaimedSirLulworth；"noonehadanyinterestindoingawaywithhim，andthenumberofpeoplewhodestroyCanonsoftheEstablishedChurchforthemerefunofkillingmustbeextremelylimited。
Ofcoursethereareindividualsofweakmentalbalancewhodothatsortofthing，buttheyseldomconcealtheirhandiwork；theyaremoregenerallyinclinedtoparadeit。"
"Hiscookwasundersuspicion，"saidEgbertshortly。
"Iknowhewas，"saidSirLulworth，"simplybecausehewasabouttheonlypersononthepremisesatthetimeofthetragedy。ButcouldanythingbesillierthantryingtofastenachargeofmurderontoSebastien？Hehadnothingtogain，infact，agooddealtolose，fromthedeathofhisemployer。TheCanonwaspayinghimquiteasgoodwagesasIwasabletoofferhimwhenI
tookhimoverintomyservice。Ihavesinceraisedthemtosomethingalittlemoreinaccordancewithhisrealworth，butatthetimehewasgladtofindanewplacewithouttroublingaboutanincreaseofwages。Peoplewerefightingrathershyofhim，andhehadnofriendsinthiscountry。No；ifanyoneintheworldwasinterestedintheprolongedlifeandunimpaireddigestionoftheCanonitwouldcertainlybeSebastien。"
"Peopledon'talwaysweightheconsequencesoftheirrashacts，"saidEgbert，"otherwisetherewouldbeveryfewmurderscommitted。Sebastienisamanofhottemper。"
"Heisasoutherner，"admittedSirLulworth；"tobegeographicallyexactIbelievehehailsfromtheFrenchslopesofthePyrenees。Itookthatintoconsiderationwhenhenearlykilledthegardener'sboytheotherdayforbringinghimaspurioussubstituteforsorrel。Onemustalwaysmakeallowancesfororiginandlocalityandearlyenvironment；`TellmeyourlongitudeandI'llknowwhatlatitudetoallowyou，'ismymotto。"
"There，yousee，"saidEgbert，"henearlykilledthegardener'sboy。"
"MydearEgbert，betweennearlykillingagardener'sboyandaltogetherkillingaCanonthereisawidedifference。Nodoubtyouhaveoftenfeltatemporarydesiretokillagardener'sboy；youhavenevergivenwaytoit，andIrespectyouforyourself-control。ButI
don'tsupposeyouhaveeverwantedtokillanoctogenarianCanon。Besides，asfarasweknow，therehadneverbeenanyquarrelordisagreementbetweenthetwomen。Theevidenceattheinquestbroughtthatoutveryclearly。"
"Ah！"saidEgbert，withtheairofamancomingatlastintoadeferredinheritanceofconversationalimportance，"thatispreciselywhatIwanttospeaktoyouabout。"
Hepushedawayhiscoffeecupanddrewapocket-bookfromhisinnerbreast-pocket。Fromthedepthsofthepocket-bookheproducedanenvelope，andfromtheenvelopeheextractedaletter，closelywritteninasmall，neathandwriting。
"OneoftheCanon'snumerousletterstoAuntAdelaide，"heexplained，"writtenafewdaysbeforehisdeath。Hermemorywasalreadyfailingwhenshereceivedit，andIdaresaysheforgotthecontentsassoonasshehadreadit；otherwise，inthelightofwhatsubsequentlyhappened，weshouldhaveheardsomethingofthisletterbeforenow。IfithadbeenproducedattheinquestI
fancyitwouldhavemadesomedifferenceinthecourseofaffairs。Theevidence，asyouremarkedjustnow，chokedoffsuspicionagainstSebastienbydisclosinganutterabsenceofanythingthatcouldbeconsideredamotiveorprovocationforthecrime，ifcrimetherewas。"
"Oh，readtheletter，"saidSirLulworthimpatiently。
"It'salongramblingaffair，likemostofhislettersinhislateryears，"saidEgbert。"I'llreadthepartthatbearsimmediatelyonthemystery。
"'IverymuchfearIshallhavetogetridofSebastien。Hecooksdivinely，buthehasthetemperofafiendorananthropoidape，andIamreallyinbodilyfearofhim。WehadadisputetheotherdayastothecorrectsortoflunchtobeservedonAshWednesday，andIgotsoirritatedandannoyedathisconceitandobstinacythatatlastIthrewacupfulofcoffeeinhisfaceandcalledhimatthesametimeanimpudentjackanapes。Verylittleofthecoffeewentactuallyinhisface，butIhaveneverseenahumanbeingshowsuchdeplorablelackofself-control。Ilaughedatthethreatofkillingmethathesplutteredoutinhisrage，andthoughtthewholethingwouldblowover，butIhaveseveraltimessincecaughthimscowlingandmutteringinahighlyunpleasantfashion，andlatelyIhavefanciedthathewasdoggingmyfootstepsaboutthegrounds，particularlywhenIwalkofaneveningintheItalianGarden。'
"ItwasonthestepsintheItalianGardenthatthebodywasfound，"commentedEgbert，andresumedreading。
"'Idaresaythedangerisimaginary；butIshallfeelmoreateasewhenhehasquittedmyservice。'"
Egbertpausedforamomentattheconclusionoftheextract；then，ashisunclemadenoremark，headded："IflackofmotivewastheonlyfactorthatsavedSebastienfromprosecutionIfancythisletterwillputadifferentcomplexiononmatters。"
"Haveyoushownittoanyoneelse？"askedSirLulworth，reachingouthishandfortheincriminatingpieceofpaper。
"No，"saidEgbert，handingitacrossthetable，"I
thoughtIwouldtellyouaboutitfirst。Heavens，whatareyoudoing？"
Egbert'svoicerosealmosttoascream。SirLulworthhadflungthepaperwellandtrulyintotheglowingcentreofthegrate。Thesmall，neathand-
writingshrivelledintoblackflakynothingness。
"Whatonearthdidyoudothatfor？"gaspedEgbert。
"ThatletterwasouronepieceofevidencetoconnectSebastienwiththecrime。"
"ThatiswhyIdestroyedit，"saidSirLulworth。
"Butwhyshouldyouwanttoshieldhim？"criedEgbert；"themanisacommonmurderer。"
"Acommonmurderer，possibly，butaveryuncommoncook。"
DUSK
NORMANGORTSBYsatonabenchinthePark，withhisbacktoastripofbush-plantedsward，fencedbytheparkrailings，andtheRowfrontinghimacrossawidestretchofcarriagedrive。HydeParkCorner，withitsrattleandhootoftraffic，layimmediatelytohisright。ItwassomethirtyminutespastsixonanearlyMarchevening，andduskhadfallenheavilyoverthescene，duskmitigatedbysomefaintmoonlightandmanystreetlamps。
Therewasawideemptinessoverroadandsidewalk，andyetthereweremanyunconsideredfiguresmovingsilentlythroughthehalf-light，ordottedunobtrusivelyonbenchandchair，scarcelytobedistinguishedfromtheshadowedgloominwhichtheysat。
ThescenepleasedGortsbyandharmonisedwithhispresentmood。Dusk，tohismind，wasthehourofthedefeated。Menandwomen，whohadfoughtandlost，whohidtheirfallenfortunesanddeadhopesasfaraspossiblefromthescrutinyofthecurious，cameforthinthishourofgloaming，whentheirshabbyclothesandbowedshouldersandunhappyeyesmightpassunnoticed，or，atanyrate，unrecognised。
Akingthatisconqueredmustseestrangelooks，Sobitterathingistheheartofman。
Thewanderersintheduskdidnotchoosetohavestrangelooksfastenonthem，thereforetheycameoutinthisbat-fashion，takingtheirpleasuresadlyinapleasure-groundthathademptiedofitsrightfuloccupants。Beyondtheshelteringscreenofbushesandpalingscamearealmofbrilliantlightsandnoisy，rushingtraffic。Ablazing，many-tieredstretchofwindowsshonethroughtheduskandalmostdispersedit，markingthehauntsofthoseotherpeople，whoheldtheirowninlife'sstruggle，oratanyratehadnothadtoadmitfailure。SoGortsby'simaginationpicturedthingsashesatonhisbenchinthealmostdesertedwalk。Hewasinthemoodtocounthimselfamongthedefeated。
Moneytroublesdidnotpressonhim；hadhesowishedhecouldhavestrolledintothethoroughfaresoflightandnoise，andtakenhisplaceamongthejostlingranksofthosewhoenjoyedprosperityorstruggledforit。Hehadfailedinamoresubtleambition，andforthemomenthewasheartsoreanddisillusionised，andnotdisinclinedtotakeacertaincynicalpleasureinobservingandlabellinghisfellowwanderersastheywenttheirwaysinthedarkstretchesbetweenthelamp-lights。
Onthebenchbyhissidesatanelderlygentlemanwithadroopingairofdefiancethatwasprobablytheremainingvestigeofself-respectinanindividualwhohadceasedtodefysuccessfullyanybodyoranything。Hisclothescouldscarcelybecalledshabby，atleasttheypassedmusterinthehalf-light，butone'simaginationcouldnothavepicturedthewearerembarkingonthepurchaseofahalf-crownboxofchocolatesorlayingoutninepenceonacarnationbuttonhole。Hebelongedunmistakablytothatforlornorchestratowhosepipingnoonedances；hewasoneoftheworld'slamenterswhoinducenoresponsiveweeping。AsherosetogoGortsbyimaginedhimreturningtoahomecirclewherehewassnubbedandofnoaccount，ortosomebleaklodgingwherehisabilitytopayaweeklybillwasthebeginningandendoftheinterestheinspired。Hisretreatingfigurevanishedslowlyintotheshadows，andhisplaceonthebenchwastakenalmostimmediatelybyayoungman，fairlywelldressedbutscarcelymorecheerfulofmienthanhispredecessor。Asiftoemphasisethefactthattheworldwentbadlywithhimthenew-cornerunburdenedhimselfofanangryandveryaudibleexpletiveasheflunghimselfintotheseat。
"Youdon'tseeminaverygoodtemper，"saidGortsby，judgingthathewasexpectedtotakeduenoticeofthedemonstration。
Theyoungmanturnedtohimwithalookofdisarmingfranknesswhichputhiminstantlyonhisguard。
"Youwouldn'tbeinagoodtemperifyouwereinthefixI'min，"hesaid；"I'vedonethesilliestthingI'veeverdoneinmylife。"
"Yes？"saidGortsbydispassionately。
"Cameupthisafternoon，meaningtostayatthePatagonianHotelinBerkshireSquare，"continuedtheyoungman；"whenIgotthereIfoundithadbeenpulleddownsomeweeksagoandacinematheatrerunuponthesite。ThetaxidriverrecommendedmetoanotherhotelsomewayoffandIwentthere。Ijustsentalettertomypeople，givingthemtheaddress，andthenIwentouttobuysomesoap-I'dforgottentopackanyandIhateusinghotelsoap。ThenIstrolledaboutabit，hadadrinkatabarandlookedattheshops，andwhenIcametoturnmystepsbacktothehotelIsuddenlyrealisedthatIdidn'trememberitsnameorevenwhatstreetitwasin。There'sanicepredicamentforafellowwhohasn'tanyfriendsorconnectionsinLondon！OfcourseI
canwiretomypeoplefortheaddress，buttheywon'thavegotmylettertillto-morrow；meantimeI'mwithoutanymoney，cameoutwithaboutashillingonme，whichwentinbuyingthesoapandgettingthedrink，andhereI
am，wanderingaboutwithtwopenceinmypocketandnowheretogoforthenight。"
Therewasaneloquentpauseafterthestoryhadbeentold。"IsupposeyouthinkI'vespunyouratheranimpossibleyarn，"saidtheyoungmanpresently，withasuggestionofresentmentinhisvoice。
"Notatallimpossible，"saidGortsbyjudicially；"I
rememberdoingexactlythesamethingonceinaforeigncapital，andonthatoccasionthereweretwoofus，whichmadeitmoreremarkable。Luckilywerememberedthatthehotelwasonasortofcanal，andwhenwestruckthecanalwewereabletofindourwaybacktothehotel。"
Theyouthbrightenedatthereminiscence。"InaforeigncityIwouldn'tmindsomuch，"hesaid；"onecouldgotoone'sConsulandgettherequisitehelpfromhim。Hereinone'sownlandoneisfarmorederelictifonegetsintoafix。UnlessIcanfindsomedecentchaptoswallowmystoryandlendmesomemoneyIseemlikelytospendthenightontheEmbankment。I'mglad，anyhow，thatyoudon'tthinkthestoryoutrageouslyimprobable。"
Hethrewagooddealofwarmthintothelastremark，asthoughperhapstoindicatehishopethatGortsbydidnotfallfarshortoftherequisitedecency。
"Ofcourse，"saidGortsbyslowly，"theweakpointofyourstoryisthatyoucan'tproducethesoap。"
Theyoungmansatforwardhurriedly，feltrapidlyinthepocketsofhisovercoat，andthenjumpedtohisfeet。
"Imusthavelostit，"hemutteredangrily。
"Toloseanhotelandacakeofsoapononeafternoonsuggestswilfulcarelessness，"saidGortsby，buttheyoungmanscarcelywaitedtoheartheendoftheremark。Heflittedawaydownthepath，hisheadheldhigh，withanairofsomewhatjadedjauntiness。
"Itwasapity，"musedGortsby；"thegoingouttogetone'sownsoapwastheoneconvincingtouchinthewholestory，andyetitwasjustthatlittledetailthatbroughthimtogrief。Ifhehadhadthebrilliantforethoughttoprovidehimselfwithacakeofsoap，wrappedandsealedwithallthesolicitudeofthechemist'scounter，hewouldhavebeenageniusinhisparticularline。Inhisparticularlinegeniuscertainlyconsistsofaninfinitecapacityfortakingprecautions。"
WiththatreflectionGortsbyrosetogo；ashedidsoanexclamationofconcernescapedhim。Lyingonthegroundbythesideofthebenchwasasmallovalpacket，wrappedandsealedwiththesolicitudeofachemist'scounter。Itcouldbenothingelsebutacakeofsoap，andithadevidentlyfallenoutoftheyouth'sovercoatpocketwhenheflunghimselfdownontheseat。InanothermomentGortsbywasscuddingalongthedusk-
shroudedpathinanxiousquestforayouthfulfigureinalightovercoat。Hehadnearlygivenupthesearchwhenhecaughtsightoftheobjectofhispursuitstandingirresolutelyontheborderofthecarriagedrive，evidentlyuncertainwhethertostrikeacrosstheParkormakeforthebustlingpavementsofKnightsbridge。HeturnedroundsharplywithanairofdefensivehostilitywhenhefoundGortsbyhailinghim。
"Theimportantwitnesstothegenuinenessofyourstoryhasturnedup，"saidGortsby，holdingoutthecakeofsoap；"itmusthaveslidoutofyourovercoatpocketwhenyousatdownontheseat。Isawitonthegroundafteryouleft。Youmustexcusemydisbelief，butappearanceswerereallyratheragainstyou，andnow，asI
appealedtothetestimonyofthesoapIthinkIoughttoabidebyitsverdict。Iftheloanofasovereignisanygoodtoyou-"
Theyoungmanhastilyremovedalldoubtonthesubjectbypocketingthecoin。
"Hereismycardwithmyaddress，"continuedGortsby；"anydaythisweekwilldoforreturningthemoney，andhereisthesoap-don'tloseitagainit'sbeenagoodfriendtoyou。"
"Luckythingyourfindingit，"saidtheyouth，andthen，withacatchinhisvoice，heblurtedoutawordortwoofthanksandfledheadlonginthedirectionofKnightsbridge。
"Poorboy，heasnearlyaspossiblebrokedown，"
saidGortsbytohimself。"Idon'twondereither；therelieffromhisquandarymusthavebeenacute。It'salessontomenottobetoocleverinjudgingbycircumstances。"
AsGortsbyretracedhisstepspasttheseatwherethelittledramahadtakenplacehesawanelderlygentlemanpokingandpeeringbeneathitandonallsidesofit，andrecognisedhisearlierfellowoccupant。
"Haveyoulostanything，sir？"heasked。
"Yes，sir，acakeofsoap。"
ATOUCHOFREALISM
"IHOPEyou'vecomefullofsuggestionsforChristmas，"saidLadyBlonzetoherlatestarrivedguest；
"theold-fashionedChristmasandtheup-to-dateChristmasarebothsoplayedout。Iwanttohavesomethingreallyoriginalthisyear。"
"IwasstayingwiththeMathesonslastmonth，"saidBlancheBovealeagerly，"andwehadsuchagoodidea。
Everyoneinthehouse-partyhadtobeacharacterandbehaveconsistentlyallthetime，andattheendofthevisitonehadtoguesswhateveryone'scharacterwas。
Theonewhowasvotedtohaveactedhisorhercharacterbestgotaprize。"
"Itsoundsamusing，"saidLadyBlonze。
"IwasSt。FrancisofAssisi，"continuedBlanche；
"wehadn'tgottokeeptoourrightsexes。Ikeptgettingupinthemiddleofameal，andthrowingoutfoodtothebirds；yousee，thechiefthingthatoneremembersofSt。Francisisthathewasfondofthebirds。Everyonewassostupidaboutit，andthoughtthatIwastheoldmanwhofeedsthesparrowsintheTuileriesGardens。
ThenColonelPentleywastheJollyMilleronthebanksofDee。"
"Howonearthdidhedothat？"askedBertievanTahn。
"'Helaughedandsangfrommorntillnight，'"
explainedBlanche。
"Howdreadfulfortherestofyou，"saidBertie；
"andanywayhewasn'tonthebanksofDee。"
"Onehadtoimaginethat，"saidBlanche。
"Ifyoucouldimagineallthatyoumightaswellimaginecattleonthefurtherbankandkeeponcallingthemhome，Mary-fashion，acrossthesandsofDee。OryoumightchangetherivertotheYarrowandimagineitwasonthetopofyou，andsayyouwereWillie，orwhoeveritwas，drownedinYarrow。"
"Ofcourseit'seasytomakefunofit，"saidBlanchesharply，"butitwasextremelyinterestingandamusing。Theprizewasratherafiasco，though。Yousee，MillieMathesonsaidhercharacterwasLadyBountiful，andasshewasourhostessofcourseweallhadtovotethatshehadcarriedouthercharacterbetterthananyone。OtherwiseIoughttohavegottheprize。"
"It'squiteanideaforaChristmasparty，"saidLadyBlonze；"wemustcertainlydoithere。"
SirNicholaswasnotsoenthusiastic。"Areyouquitesure，mydear，thatyou'rewiseindoingthisthing？"hesaidtohiswifewhentheywerealonetogether。"ItmightdoverywellattheMathesons，wheretheyhadratherastaid，elderlyhouse-party，buthereitwillbeadifferentmatter。ThereistheDurmotflapper，forinstance，whosimplystopsatnothing，andyouknowwhatVanTahnislike。ThenthereisCyrilSkatterly；hehasmadnessononesideofhisfamilyandaHungariangrandmotherontheother。"
"Idon'tseewhattheycoulddothatwouldmatter，"
saidLadyBlonze。
"It'stheunknownthatistobedreaded，"saidSirNicholas。"IfSkatterlytookitintohisheadtorepresentaBullofBashan，well，I'drathernotbehere。"
"Ofcourseweshan'tallowanyBiblecharacters。
Besides，Idon'tknowwhattheBullsofBashanreallydidthatwassoverydreadful；theyjustcameroundandgaped，asfarasIremember。"
"Mydear，youdon'tknowwhatSkatterly'sHungarianimaginationmightn'treadintothepart；itwouldbesmallsatisfactiontosaytohimafterwards：'You'vebehavedasnoBullofBashanwouldhavebehaved。'"
"Oh，you'reanalarmist，"saidLadyBlonze；I
particularlywanttohavethisideacarriedout。Itwillbesuretobetalkedaboutalot。"
"Thatisquitepossible，"saidSirNicholas。
****
Dinnerthateveningwasnotaparticularlylivelyaffair；thestrainoftryingtoimpersonateaself-
imposedcharacterortogleanhintsofidentityfromotherpeople'sconductactedasacheckonthenaturalfestivityofsuchagathering。Therewasageneralfeelingofgratitudeandacquiescencewhengood-naturedRachelKlammersteinsuggestedthatthereshouldbeanhourortwo'srespitefrom"thegame"whiletheyalllistenedtoalittlepiano-playingafterdinner。
Rachel'sloveofpianomusicwasnotindiscriminate，andconcentrateditselfchieflyonselectionsrenderedbyheridolisedoffspring，MoritzandAugusta，who，todothemjustice，playedremarkablywell。
TheKlammersteinsweredeservedlypopularasChristmasguests；theygaveexpensivegiftslavishlyonChristmasDayandNewYear，andMrs。Klammersteinhadalreadydroppedhintsofherintentiontopresenttheprizeforthebestenactedcharacterinthegamecompetition。Everyonehadbrightenedatthisprospect；
ifithadfallentoLadyBlonze，ashostess，toprovidetheprize，shewouldhaveconsideredthatalittlesouvenirofsometwentyortwenty-fiveshillings'valuewouldmeetthecase，whereascomingfromaKlammersteinsourceitwouldcertainlyruntoseveralguineas。
TheclosetimeforimpersonationeffortscametoanendwiththefinalwithdrawalofMoritzandAugustafromthepiano。BlancheBovealretiredearly，leavingtheroominaseriesoflabouredleapsthatshehopedmightberecognisedasatolerableimitationofPavlova。VeraDurmot，thesixteen-year-oldflapper，expressedherconfidentopinionthattheperformancewasintendedtotypifyMarkTwain'sfamousjumpingfrog，andherdiagnosisofthecasefoundgeneralacceptance。Anotherguesttosetanexampleofearlybed-goingwasWaldoPlubley，whoconductedhislifeonaminutelyregulatedsystemoftime-tablesandhygienicroutine。Waldowasaplump，indolentyoungmanofseven-and-twenty，whosemotherhadearlyinhislifedecidedforhimthathewasunusuallydelicate，andbydintofmuchcoddlingandhome-keepinghadsucceededinmakinghimphysicallysoftandmentallypeevish。Ninehours'unbrokensleep，precededbyelaboratebreathingexercisesandotherhygienicritual，wasamongtheindispensableregulationswhichWaldoimposedonhimself，andtherewereinnumerablesmallobservanceswhichheexactedfromthosewhowereinanywayobligedtoministertohisrequirements；aspecialteapotforthedecoctionofhisearlyteawasalwayssolemnlyhandedovertothebedroomstaffofanyhouseinwhichhehappenedtobestaying。
Noonehadeverquitemasteredthemechanismofthispreciousvessel，butBertievanTahnwasresponsibleforthelegendthatitsspouthadtobekeptfacingnorthduringtheprocessofinfusion。
Onthisparticularnighttheirreducibleninehourswereseverelymutilatedbythesuddenandbynomeansnoiselessincursionofapyjama-cladfigureintoWaldo'sroomatanhourmidwaybetweenmidnightanddawn。
"Whatisthematter？Whatareyoulookingfor？"
askedtheawakenedandastonishedWaldo，slowlyrecognisingVanTahn，whoappearedtobesearchinghastilyforsomethinghehadlost。
"Lookingforsheep，"wasthereply。
"Sheep？"exclaimedWaldo。
"Yes，sheep。Youdon'tsupposeI'mlookingforgiraffes，doyou？"
"Idon'tseewhyyoushouldexpecttofindeitherinmyroom，"retortedWaldofuriously。
"Ican'targuethematteratthishourofthenight，"saidBertie，andbeganhastilyrummaginginthechestofdrawers。Shirtsandunderwearwentflyingontothefloor。
"Therearenosheephere，Itellyou，"screamedWaldo。
"I'veonlygotyourwordforit，"saidBertie，whiskingmostofthebedclothesontothefloor；"ifyouweren'tconcealingsomethingyouwouldn'tbesoagitated。"
WaldowasbythistimeconvincedthatVanTahnwasravingmad，andmadeananxious，efforttohumourhim。
"Gobacktobedlikeadearfellow，"hepleaded，"andyoursheepwillturnupallrightinthemorning。"
"Idaresay，"saidBertiegloomily，"withouttheirtails。NicefoolIshalllookwithalotofManxsheep。"
AndbywayofemphasisinghisannoyanceattheprospecthesentWaldo'spillowsflyingtothetopofthewardrobe。
"ButWHYnotails？"askedWaldo，whoseteethwerechatteringwithfearandrageandloweredtemperature。
"Mydearboy，haveyouneverheardtheballadofLittleBo-Peep？"saidBertiewithachuckle。"It'smycharacterintheGame，youknow。IfIdidn'tgohuntingaboutformylostsheepnoonewouldbeabletoguesswhoIwas；andnowgotosleepyweepslikeagoodchildorI
shallbecrosswithyou。"
"Ileaveyoutoimagine，"wroteWaldointhecourseofalonglettertohismother，"howmuchsleepIwasabletorecoverthatnight，andyouknowhowessentialnineuninterruptedhoursofslumberaretomyhealth。"
OntheotherhandhewasabletodevotesomewakefulhourstoexercisesinbreathingwrathandfuryagainstBertievanTahn。
BreakfastatBlonzecourtwasascatteredmeal，onthe"comewhenyouplease"principle，butthehouse-partywassupposedtogatherinfullstrengthatlunch。Onthedayafterthe"Game"hadbeenstartedtherewere，however，somenotableabsentees。WaldoPlubley，forinstance，wasreportedtobenursingaheadache。Alargebreakfastandan"A。B。C。"hadbeentakenuptohisroom，buthehadmadenoappearanceintheflesh。
"Iexpecthe'splayinguptosomecharacter，"saidVeraDurmot；"isn'tthereathingofMoliere's，'LE
MALADEIMAGINAIRE'？Iexpecthe'sthat。"
Eightorninelistscameout，andweredulypencilledwiththesuggestion。
"AndwherearetheKlammersteins？"askedLadyBlonze；"they'reusuallysopunctual。"
"Anothercharacterpose，perhaps，"saidBertievanTahn；"'theLostTenTribes。'"
"Butthereareonlythreeofthem。Besides，they'llwanttheirlunch。Hasn'tanyoneseenanythingofthem？"
"Didn'tyoutakethemoutinyourcar？"askedBlancheBoveal，addressingherselftoCyrilSkatterly。
"Yes，tookthemouttoSlogberryMoorimmediatelyafterbreakfast。MissDurmotcametoo。"
"IsawyouandVeracomeback，"saidLadyBlonze，"butIdidn'tseetheKlammersteins。Didyouputthemdowninthevillage？"
"No，"saidSkatterlyshortly。
"Butwherearethey？Wheredidyouleavethem？"
"WeleftthemonSlogberryMoor，"saidVeracalmly。
"OnSlogberryMoor？Why，it'smorethanthirtymilesaway！Howaretheygoingtogetback？"
"Wedidn'tstoptoconsiderthat，"saidSkatterly；
"weaskedthemtogetoutforamoment，onthepretencethatthecarhadstuck，andthenwedashedofffullspeedandleftthemthere。"
"Buthowdareyoudosuchathing？It'smostinhuman！Why，it'sbeensnowingforthelasthour。"
"Iexpectthere'llbeacottageorfarmhousesomewhereiftheywalkamileortwo。"
"Butwhyonearthhaveyoudoneit？"
Thequestioncameinachorusofindignantbewilderment。
"THATwouldbetellingwhatourcharactersaremeanttobe，"saidVera。
"Didn'tIwarnyou？"saidSirNicholastragicallytohiswife。
"It'ssomethingtodowithSpanishhistory；wedon'tmindgivingyouthatclue，"saidSkatterly，helpinghimselfcheerfullytosalad，andthenBertievanTahnbrokeforthintopealsofjoyouslaughter。
"I'vegotit！FerdinandandIsabelladeportingtheJews！Oh，lovely！Thosetwohavecertainlywontheprize；weshan'tgetanythingtobeatthatforthoroughness。"
LadyBlonze'sChristmaspartywastalkedaboutandwrittenabouttoanextentthatshehadnotanticipatedinhermostambitiousmoments。ThelettersfromWaldo'smotherwouldalonehavemadeitmemorable。
COUSINTERESA
BASSETHARROWCLUFFreturnedtothehomeofhisfathers，afteranabsenceoffouryears，distinctlywellpleasedwithhimself。Hewasonlythirty-one，buthehadputinsomeusefulserviceinanout-of-the-way，thoughnotunimportant，corneroftheworld。Hehadquietedaprovince，keptopenatraderoute，enforcedthetraditionofrespectwhichisworththeransomofmanykingsinout-of-the-wayregions，anddonethewholebusinessonratherlessexpenditurethanwouldberequisitefororganisingacharityinthehomecountry。InWhitehallandplaceswheretheythink，theydoubtlessthoughtwellofhim。Itwasnotinconceivable，hisfatherallowedhimselftoimagine，thatBasset'snamemightfigureinthenextlistofHonours。
Bassetwasinclinedtoberathercontemptuousofhishalf-brother，Lucas，whomhefoundfeverishlyengrossedinthesamemedleyofelaboratefutilitiesthathadclaimedhiswholetimeandenergies，suchastheywere，fouryearsago，andalmostasfarbackbeforethatashecouldremember。Itwasthecontemptofthemanofactionforthemanofactivities，anditwasprobablyreciprocated。Lucaswasanover-wellnourishedindividual，somenineyearsBasset'ssenior，withacolouringthatwouldhavebeenacceptedasasignofintensivecultureinanasparagus，butprobablymeantinthiscasemereabstentionfromexercise。Hishairandforeheadfurnishedarecessionalnoteinapersonalitythatwasinallotherrespectsobtrusiveandassertive。
TherewascertainlynoSemiticbloodinLucas'sparentage，buthisappearancecontrivedtoconveyatleastasuggestionofJewishextraction。ClovisSangrail，whoknewmostofhisassociatesbysight，saiditwasundoubtedlyacaseofprotectivemimicry。
TwodaysafterBasset'sreturn，Lucasfriskedintolunchinastateoftwitteringexcitementthatcouldnotberestrainedevenfortheimmediateconsiderationofsoup，buthadtobeverballydischargedinsplutteringcompetitionwithmouthfulsofvermicelli。