CONTENTS
AVENERABLEIMPOSTOR
FROMABALCONY
MELONS
SURPRISINGADVENTURESOFMASTERCHARLESSUMMERTON
SIDEWALKINGS
ABOY’SDOG
CHARITABLEREMINISCENCES
"SEEINGTHESTEAMEROFF"
NEIGHBORHOODSIHAVEMOVEDFROM
MYSUBURBANRESIDENCE
ONAVULGARLITTLEBOY
WAITINGFORTHESHIP
URBANSKETCHES
AVENERABLEIMPOSTOR。
AsIglanceacrossmytable,Iamsomewhatdistractedbythespectacleofavenerableheadwhosecrownoccasionallyappearsbeyond,ataboutitslevel。Theapparitionofaverysmallhand——
whosefingersarebunchyandhavetheappearanceofbeingslightlywebbed——whichisfrequentlyliftedabovethetableinavainandimpotentattempttoreachtheinkstand,alwaysaffectsmeasanoveltyateachrecurrenceofthephenomenon。YetboththevenerableheadandbunchyfingersbelongtoanindividualwithwhomIamfamiliar,andtowhom,forcertainreasonshereafterdescribed,Ichoosetoapplytheepithetwrittenabovethisarticle。
Hisadventinthefamilywasattendedwithpeculiarcircumstances。
Hewasreceivedwithsomeconcern——thenumberofretainershavingbeenincreasedbyoneinhonorofhisarrival。Heappearedtobeweary,——hispretencewasthathehadcomefromalongjourney,——sothatfordays,weeks,andevenmonths,hedidnotleavehisbedexceptwhenhewascarried。Butitwasremarkablethathisappetitewasinvariablyregularandhealthy,andthathismeals,whichherequiredshouldbebroughttohim,wereseldomrejected。
Duringthistimehehadlittleconversationwiththefamily,hisknowledgeofourvernacularbeinglimited,butoccasionallyspoketohimselfinhisownlanguage,——aforeigntongue。Thedifficultiesattendingthiseccentricitywereobviatedbytheyoungwomanwhohadfromthefirsttakenhimunderherprotection,——being,liketherestofhersex,peculiarlyopentoimpositions,——andwhoatoncedisorganizedherowntonguetosuithis。Thiswasaffectedbythecontractionofthesyllablesofsomewords,theadditionofsyllablestoothers,andaningeniousdisregardfortensesandthegoverningpowersoftheverb。ThesamesingularlawwhichimpelspeopleinconversationwithforeignerstoimitatetheirbrokenEnglishgovernedthefamilyintheircommunicationswithhim。Hereceivedtheseevidencesofhispowerwithanindifferencenotwhollyfreefromscorn。Theexpressionofhiseyewouldoccasionallydenotethathishighernaturerevoltedfromthem。I
havenodoubtmyselfthathiswantswerefrequentlymisinterpreted;
thatthestretchingforthofhishandstowardthemoonandstarsmighthavebeentheperformanceofsomereligiousritepeculiartohisowncountry,whichwasinoursmisconstruedintoadesireforphysicalnourishment。Hisrepetitionoftheword"goo-goo,"——whichwassubjecttoavarietyofoppositeinterpretations,——whentakeninconjunctionwithhissize,inmymindseemedtoindicatehisaboriginalorAztecorigin。
Iinclinetothisbelief,asitsustainstheimpressionIhavealreadyhintedat,thathisextremeyouthisasimulationanddeceit;thatheisreallyolderandhaslivedbeforeatsomeremoteperiod,andthathisconductfullyjustifieshistitleasA
VenerableImpostor。Avarietyofcircumstancescorroboratethisimpression:Histotteringwalk,whichisasenileaswellasajuvenilecondition;hisvenerablehead,thatchedwithsuchimperceptiblehairthat,atadistance,itlookslikeamildaureola,andhisimperfectdentalexhibition。Butbesidethesephysicalpeculiaritiesmaybeobservedcertainmoralsymptoms,whichgotodisprovehisassumedyouth。Heisinthehabitoffallingintoreveries,caused,Ihavenodoubt,bysomecircumstancewhichsuggestsacomparisonwithhisexperienceinhisremoterboyhood,orbysomeseriousretrospectionofthepastyears。Hehasbeendetectedlyingawake,attimeswhenheshouldhavebeenasleep,engagedincuriouslycomparingthebed-clothes,walls,andfurniturewithsomerecollectionofhisyouth。Atsuchmomentshehasbeenheardtosingsoftlytohimselffragmentsofsomeunintelligiblecomposition,whichprobablystilllingerinhismemoryastheechoesofamusichehaslongoutgrown。Hehasthehabitofreceivingstrangerswiththefamiliarityofonewhohadmetthembefore,andtowhomtheirantecedentsandpeculiaritiesweremattersofoldacquaintance,andsounerringishisjudgmentoftheirpreviouscharacterthatwhenhewithholdshisconfidenceIamapttowithholdmine。Itissomewhatremarkablethatwhilethematurityofhisyearsandtherespectduetothemisdeniedbyman,hissuperiorityandvenerableageisneverquestionedbythebrutecreation。Thedogtreatshimwitharespectandconsiderationaccordedtononeothers,andthecatpermitsafamiliaritywhichIshouldshuddertoattempt。ItmaybeconsideredanevidenceofsomePantheisticqualityinhispreviouseducation,thatheseemstorecognizeafellowshipevenininarticulateobjects;hehasbeenknowntoverballyaddressplants,flowers,andfruit,andtoextendhisconfidencetosuchinanimateobjectsaschairsandtables。Therecanbelittledoubtthat,intheremoteperiodofhisyouth,theseobjectswereendowedwithnotonlysentientnatures,butmoralcapabilities,andheisstillinthehabitofbeatingthemwhentheycollidewithhim,andofpardoningthemwithakiss。
Ashehasgrownolder——ratherletmesay,aswehaveapproximatedtohisyears——hehas,inspiteoftheapparentparadox,lostmuchofhissenilegravity。Itmustbeconfessedthatsomeofhisactionsoflateappeartoourimperfectcomprehensioninconsistentwithhisextremeage。Ahabitofmarchingupanddownwithastringtiedtoasoda-waterbottle,adispositiontorideanythingthatcouldbyanyexerciseoftheliveliestfancybemadetoassumeequineproportions,apropensitytoblackenhisvenerablewhitehairwithinkandcoaldust,andanomnivorousappetitewhichdidnotstopatchalk,clay,orcinders,werepeculiaritiesnotcalculatedtoexciterespect。Infact,hewouldseemtohavebecomedemoralized,andwhen,afteraprolongedabsencetheotherday,hewasfinallydiscoveredstandinguponthefrontstepsaddressingagroupofdelightedchildrenoutofhislimitedvocabulary,thecircumstancecouldonlybeaccountedforasthegarrulityofage。
ButIlayasidemypenamidstanominoussilenceandthedisappearanceofthevenerableheadfrommyplaneofvision。AsI
steptotheothersideofthetable,Ifindthatsleephasovertakenhiminanovertactofhoarywickedness。TheverypagesIhavedevotedtoanexpositionofhisdeceithehasquietlyabstracted,andIfindthemcoveredwithcabalisticfiguresandwild-lookinghieroglyphstracedwithhisforefingerdippedinink,whichdoubtlessinhisownlanguageconveysascathingcommentaryonmycomposition。Buthesleepspeacefully,andthereissomethinginhisfacewhichtellsmethathehasalreadywanderedawaytothatdimregionofhisyouthwhereIcannotfollowhim。
AndastherecomesastrangestirringatmyheartwhenI
contemplatetheimmeasurablegulfwhichliesbetweenus,andhowslightandfeebleasyetishisgrasponthisworldanditsstrangerealities,Ifind,toolate,thatIalsoamawillingvictimoftheVenerableImpostor。
FROMABALCONY
Thelittlestonebalcony,which,byapopularfallacy,issupposedtobeanecessaryappurtenanceofmywindow,haslongbeentomeasourceofcuriousinterest。Thefactthattheasperitiesofoursummerweatherwillnotpermitmetouseitbutonceortwiceinsixmonthsdoesnotaltermyconcernforthisincongruousornament。
ItaffectsmeasIsupposetheconsciouspossessionofalinencoatoranankeentrousersmightaffectasojournerherewhohasnotentirelyoutgrownhismemoryofEasternsummerheatanditsgloriouscompensations,——aluxuriousprovidenceagainstapossiblebutbynomeansprobablecontingency。IdonolongerwonderatthepersistencywithwhichSanFranciscansadheretothisarchitecturalsuperfluityinthefaceofclimaticalimpossibilities。Thebalconiesinwhichnoonesits,thepiazzasonwhichnoonelounges,aretimidadvancesmadetoaclimatewhosechurlishnesswearetryingtotemperbyanostentationofconfidence。Ridiculousasthisspectacleisatallseasons,itisnevermoresothaninthatbleakintervalbetweensunsetanddark,whentheshrillscreamofthefactorywhistleseemstohaveconcentratedallthehard,unsympatheticqualityoftheclimateintoonevocalexpression。
Addtothistheappearanceofoneortwopedestrians,manifestlytoolatefortheirdinners,andtastingintheshrewishairabitterpremonitionofthewelcomethatawaitsthemathome,andyouhaveoneofthoseordinaryviewsfrommybalconywhichmakesthebalconyitselfridiculous。
ButasIleanoveritsbalustradeto-night——anightrareinitskindnessandbeauty——andwatchthefieryashesofmycigardropintotheabysmaldarknessbelow,Iaminclinedtotakebackthewholeofthatprecedingparagraph,althoughitcostmesomelabortoelaborateitspolitemalevolence。IcanevenrecognizesomemelodyinthemusicwhichcomesirregularlyandfitfullyfromthebalconyoftheMuseumonMarketStreet,althoughitmaybebroadlystatedthat,asageneralthing,themusicofallmuseums,menageries,andcircusesbecomesgreatlydemoralized,——possiblythroughassociationswiththebeasts。SosoftandcourteousisthisatmospherethatIhavedetectedtheflutterofoneortwolightdressesontheadjacentbalconiesandpiazzas,andthefrontparlorwindowsofacertainaristocraticmansioninthevicinity,whichhavealwaysmaintainedastudiousreserveinregardtotheinterior,to-nightaresuddenlythrownintotheattitudeoffamiliardisclosure。Afewyoungpeoplearestrollingupthestreetwithaloungingstepwhichisquitearelieftothatusualbrisk,business-likepacewhichthechillynightsimposeuponeventhemostsentimentallovers。Thegenialinfluencesoftheairarenotrestrictedtotheopeningofshuttersandfrontdoors;otherandmoregentledisclosuresaremade,nodoubt,beneaththismoonlight。Thebonnetandhatwhichpassedbeneathmybalconyafewmomentsagoweresuspiciouslyclosetogether。Iarguedfromthisthatmyfriendtheeditorwillprobablyreceiveanyquantityofversesforhisnextissue,containingallusionsto"Luna,"inwhichtheoriginalepithetof"silver"willbeappliedtothisplanet,andthata"boon"willbeaskedfortheevidentpurposeofrhymingwith"moon,"andfornoother。Shouldneitherofthepartiesbeequaltothisexpression,thepent-upfeelingsoftheheartwillprobablyfindventlaterintheeveningoverthepiano,in"IWanderedbytheBrookside,"or"WhentheMoonontheLakeisBeaming。"Butithasbeenpermittedmetohearthefulfilmentofmyprophecyevenasitwasuttered。FromthewindowofnumberTwelveHundredandSevengushesupontheslumberousmistyairthemaddeningballad,"EverofThee,"whileatTwelveHundredandEleventhe"StaroftheEvening"riseswithachorus。Iaminclinedtothinkthatthereissomethingintheuttervacuityoftherefraininthissongwhichespeciallycommendsitselftotheyoung。Thesimplestatement,"Staroftheevening,"isagainandagainrepeatedwithanimbecilerelish;whiletheadjective"beautiful"recurswithasteadypersistency,tooexasperatingtodwelluponhere。Atoccasionalintervals,abasevoiceenunciates"Star-r!Star-r!"asasolitaryandindependenteffort。Sittinghereinmybalcony,Ipicturethepossessorofthatvoiceasasmall,stoutyoungman,standingalittleapartfromtheothersingers,withhishandsbehindhim,underhiscoat-tail,andasevereexpressionofcountenance。Hesometimesleansforward,withafutileattempttoreadthemusicoversomebodyelse’sshoulder,butalwaysresumeshisoldseverityofattitudebeforesinginghispart。Meanwhilethecelestialsubjectsofthischoraladorationlookdownuponthescenewithatranquillityandpatiencewhichcanonlyresultfromthesecuritywithwhichtheirimmeasurableremotenessinveststhem。Iwouldremarkthatthestarsarenottheonlytopicssubjecttothis"damnableiteration。"Acertainpopularsong,whichcontainsthestatement,"Iwillnotforgetyou,mother,"apparentlyreposesallitspopularityontheconstantanddrearyrepetitionofthisunimportantinformation,whichatleastproducesthedesiredresultamongtheaudience。Ifthebestoperaticchorusesarenotabovethisweakness,theunfamiliarlanguageinwhichtheyaresungofferslessviolationtocommonsense。
Itmaybeparentheticallystatedherethatthesongsalludedtoabovemaybefoundinsheetmusiconthetopofthepianoofanyyoungladywhohasjustcomefromboarding-school。"TheOldArm-
Chair,"or"Woodman,sparethatTree,"willbealsofoundineasyjuxtaposition。Thelattersongsareusuallybroughtintoserviceattheinstanceofanuncleorbachelorbrother,whoserequestisgenerallyprefacedbyaremarkdeprecatoryoftheopera,andthegratuitousobservationthat"weareretrograding,sir,——
retrograding,"andthat"thereisnomusicliketheoldsongs。"Hesometimescondescendstoaccompany"Marie"inatremulousbarytone,andisparticularlyforcibleinthosepassageswheretheword"repeat"iswritten,forreasonsstatedabove。Whenthesongisover,tothesuccessofwhichhefeelshehasmateriallycontributed,hewillinformyouthatyoumaytalkofyour"arias,"andyour"romanzas,""butformusic,sir,——music——"atwhichpointhebecomesincoherentandunintelligible。Itisthisgentlemanwhosuggests"China,"or"BrattleStreet,"asasuitableandcheerfulexerciseforthesocialcircle。Therearecertainamatorysongs,ofanarchandcoquettishcharacter,familiartotheselocalities,whichtheyounglady,beingcalledupontosing,declineswithabashfulandtantalizinghesitation。Prominentamongthesemaybementionedaneroticeffusionentitled"I’mtalkinginmySleep,"which,whensungbyayoungpersonvivaciouslyandwithappropriateglances,canbemadetodrivelanguishingswainstothevergeofmadness。Balladsofthisqualityaffordsplendidopportunitiesforboldyoungmen,who,byejaculating"Oh!"and"Ah!"attheaffectingpassages,frequentlygainafascinatingreputationforwildnessandscepticism。
Butthemusicwhichcalleduptheseparentheticalreflectionshasdiedaway,andwithittheslightanimositiesitinspired。Thelastsonghasbeensung,thepianoclosed,thelightsarewithdrawnfromthewindows,andthewhiteskirtsflutterawayfromstoopsandbalconies。Thesilenceisbrokenonlybytherattleandrumbleofcarriagescomingfromtheatreandopera。Ifancythatthissound——
which,seemingtobemoredistinctatthishourthanatanyothertime,mightbecalledoneofthecivicvoicesofthenight——hascertainurbanesuggestions,notunpleasanttothosebornandbredinlargecities。Themoon,roundandfull,graduallyusurpsthetwinklinglightsofthecity,thatonebyoneseemtofadeawayandbeabsorbedinhersuperiorlustre。ThedistantMissionhillsareoutlinedagainstthesky,butthroughonegaptheoutlyingfogwhichhasstealthilyinvestedusseemstohaveeffectedabreach,andonlywaitstheco-operationofthelaggardsea-breezestosweepdownandtakethebeleagueredcitybyassault。Anineffablecalmsinksoverthelandscape。Inthemagicalmoonlighttheshot-towerlosesitsangularoutlineandpracticalrelations,andbecomesaminaretfromwhosebalconyaninvisiblemuezzincallstheFaithfultoprayer。"Prayerisbetterthansleep。"Butwhatisthis?A
shuffleoffeetonthepavement,alowhumofvoices,atwangofsomediabolicalinstrument,apreliminaryhemandcough。Heavens!
itcannotbe!Ah,yes——itis——itis——SERENADERS!
AnathemaMaranatha!Maypurgatorialpainsseizeyou,William,CountofPoitou,GirarddeBoreuil,ArnauddeMarveil,BertranddeBorn,mischievousprogenitorsofjongleurs,troubadours,provencals,minnesingers,minstrels,andsingersofcansosandlovechants!
Confusionovertakeandconfoundyourmoderndescendants,the"metreballad-mongers,"whocarrytheshamelessnessoftheMiddleAgesintothenineteenthcentury,andawakeasleepingneighborhoodtothebrazenknowledgeoftheirlovesandwantonfancies!Destructionanddemoralizationpursuethesepitiableimitatorsofabarbarousage,whenladies’namesandcharmswereshoutedthroughtheland,andmodestmaidenneverlentpresencetotiltortourneywithouthearingachronicleofhervirtuesgoroundthelists,shoutedbywheezyheraldsandtakenupbyroaringswashbucklers!Perditionoverpowersuchostentatiouswooers!Marry!shallIshoottheamorousfelinewhonightlyiterateshislovesongsonmyroof,andyetwithholdmytriggerfingerfromyonderpranksomegallant?Goto!Hereisanorangeleftoflastweek’srepast。Decayhathovertakenit,——itpossessethneithersavornorcleanliness。Ha!cleverlythrown!A
hit——apalpablehit!PeradventureIhavestillabootthathathdonemeservice,and,barringaloosenessoftheheel,anominousyawningattheside,’tisingoodcase!Na’theless,’twillserve。
So!so!What!dispersed!Nay,then,Itoowillretire。
MELONS
AsIdonotsupposethemostgentleofreaderswillbelievethatanybody’ssponsorsinbaptismeverwilfullyassumedtheresponsibilityofsuchaname,ImayaswellstatethatIhavereasontoinferthatMelonswassimplythenicknameofasmallboyIonceknew。Ifhehadanyother,Ineverknewit。
Varioustheorieswereoftenprojectedbymetoaccountforthisstrangecognomen。Hishead,whichwascoveredwithatransparentdown,likethatwhichclothesverysmallchickens,plainlypermittingthescalptoshowthrough,toanimaginativemindmighthavesuggestedthatsucculentvegetable。Thathisparents,recognizingsomepoeticalsignificanceinthefruitsoftheseason,mighthavegiventhisnametoanAugustchild,wasanOrientalexplanation。Thatfromhisinfancy,hewasfondofindulginginmelons,seemedonthewholethemostlikely,particularlyasFancywasnotbredinMcGinnis’sCourt。HedawneduponmeasMelons。
Hisproximitywasindicatedbyshrill,youthfulvoices,as"Ah,Melons!"orplayfully,"Hi,Melons!"orauthoritatively,"You,Melons!"
McGinnis’sCourtwasademocraticexpressionofsomeobstinateandradicalproperty-holder。Occupyingalimitedspacebetweentwofashionablethoroughfares,itrefusedtoconformtocircumstances,butsturdilyparadeditsunkemptglories,andfrequentlyasserteditselfinungrammaticallanguage。Mywindow——arearroomonthegroundfloor——inthiswayderivedblendedlightandshadowfromthecourt。Solowwasthewindow-sill,thathadIbeentheleastpredisposedtosomnambulism,itwouldhavebrokenoutundersuchfavorableauspices,andIshouldhavehauntedMcGinnis’sCourt。Myspeculationsastotheoriginofthecourtwerenotaltogethergratuitous,forbymeansofthiswindowIoncesawthePast,asthroughaglassdarkly。ItwasaCelticshadowthatearlyonemorningobstructedmyancientlights。Itseemedtobelongtoanindividualwithapea-coat,astubbypipe,andbristlingbeard。Hewasgazingintentlyatthecourt,restingonaheavycane,somewhatinthewaythatheroesdramaticallyvisitthescenesoftheirboyhood。Astherewaslittleofarchitecturalbeautyinthecourt,IcametotheconclusionthatitwasMcGinnislookingafterhisproperty。Thefactthathecarefullykickedabrokenbottleoutoftheroadsomewhatstrengthenedmeintheopinion。Buthepresentlywalkedaway,andthecourtknewhimnomore。Heprobablycollectedhisrentsbyproxy——ifhecollectedthematall。
BeyondMelons,ofwhomallthisispurelyintroductory,therewaslittletointerestthemostsanguineandhopefulnature。Incommonwithallsuchlocalities,agreatdealofwashingwasdone,incomparisonwiththevisibleresults。Therewasalwayssomethingwhiskingontheline,andalwayssomethingwhiskingthroughthecourt,thatlookedasifitoughttobethere。Afish-geranium——ofallplantskeptfortherecreationofmankind,certainlythegreatestillusion——straggledunderthewindow。ThroughitsdustyleavesIcaughtthefirstglanceofMelons。
Hisagewasaboutseven。Helookedolder,fromthevenerablewhitenessofhishead,anditwasimpossibletoconjecturehissize,ashealwaysworeclothesapparentlybelongingtosomeshapelyyouthofnineteen。Apairofpantaloons,that,whensustainedbyasinglesuspender,completelyequippedhim,formedhisevery-daysuit。How,withthislavishsuperfluityofclothing,hemanagedtoperformthesurprisinggymnasticfeatsithasbeenmyprivilegetowitness,Ihaveneverbeenabletotell。His"turningthecrab,"andotherminordislocations,werealwaysattendedwithsuccess。ItwasnotanunusualsightatanyhourofthedaytofindMelonssuspendedonaline,ortoseehisvenerableheadappearingabovetheroofsoftheouthouses。Melonsknewtheexactheightofeveryfenceinthevicinity,itsfacilitiesforscaling,andthepossibilityofseizureontheotherside。Hismorepeacefulandquieteramusementsconsistedindraggingadisusedboilerbyalargestring,withhideousoutcries,toimaginaryfires。
Melonswasnotgregariousinhishabits。Afewyouthofhisownagesometimescalleduponhim,buttheyeventuallybecameabusive,andtheirvisitsweremorestrictlypredatoryincursionsforoldbottlesandjunkwhichformedthestapleofMcGinnis’sCourt。
Overcomebylonelinessoneday,Melonsinveigledablindharperintothecourt。Fortwohoursdidthatwretchedmanprosecutehisunhallowedcalling,unrecompensed,andgoingroundandroundthecourt,apparentlyundertheimpressionthatitwassomeotherplace,whileMelonssurveyedhimfromanadjoiningfencewithcalmsatisfaction。ItwasthisabsenceofconscientiousmotivesthatbroughtMelonsintodisreputewithhisaristocraticneighbors。
Orderswereissuedthatnochildofwealthyandpiousparentageshouldplaywithhim。Thismandate,asamatterofcourse,investedMelonswithafascinatinginteresttothem。AdmiringglanceswerecastatMelonsfromnurserywindows。Babyfingersbeckonedtohim。Invitationstotea(onwoodandpewter)werelispedtohimfromaristocraticback-yards。Itwasevidenthewaslookeduponasapureandnoblebeing,untrammelledbytheconventionalitiesofparentage,andphysicallyaswellasmentallyexaltedabovethem。OneafternoonanunusualcommotionprevailedinthevicinityofMcGinnis’sCourt。LookingfrommywindowIsawMelonsperchedontheroofofastable,pullinguparopebywhichone"Tommy,"aninfantscionofanadjacentandwealthyhouse,wassuspendedinmid-air。InvainthefemalerelativesofTommycongregatedintheback-yard,expostulatedwithMelons;invaintheunhappyfathershookhisfistathim。Secureinhisposition,MelonsredoubledhisexertionsandatlastlandedTommyontheroof。ThenitwasthatthehumiliatingfactwasdisclosedthatTommyhadbeenactingincollusionwithMelons。Hegrinneddelightedlybackathisparents,asif"bymeritraisedtothatbademinence。"Longbeforetheladderarrivedthatwastosuccorhim,hebecametheswornallyofMelons,and,Iregrettosay,incitedbythesameaudaciousboy,"chaffed"hisownfleshandbloodbelowhim。Hewaseventuallytaken,though,ofcourse,Melonsescaped。
ButTommywasrestrictedtothewindowafterthat,andthecompanionshipwaslimitedto"Hi,Melons!"and"You,Tommy!"andMelons,toallpracticalpurposes,losthimforever。IlookedafterwardtoseesomesignsofsorrowonMelons’spart,butinvain;heburiedhisgrief,ifhehadany,somewhereinhisonevoluminousgarment。
AtaboutthistimemyopportunitiesofknowingMelonsbecamemoreextended。IwasengagedinfillingavoidintheLiteratureofthePacificCoast。Asthisvoidwasaprettylargeone,andasIwasinformedthatthePacificCoastlanguishedunderit,Isetaparttwohourseachdaytothisworkoffillingin。ItwasnecessarythatIshouldadoptamethodicalsystem,soIretiredfromtheworldandlockedmyselfinmyroomatacertainhoureachday,aftercomingfrommyoffice。IthencarefullydrewoutmyportfolioandreadwhatIhadwrittenthedaybefore。Thiswouldsuggestsomealteration,andIwouldcarefullyrewriteit。DuringthisoperationIwouldturntoconsultabookofreference,whichinvariablyprovedextremelyinterestingandattractive。Itwouldgenerallysuggestanotherandbettermethodof"fillingin。"
Turningthismethodoverreflectivelyinmymind,IwouldfinallycommencethenewmethodwhichIeventuallyabandonedfortheoriginalplan。AtthistimeIwouldbecomeconvincedthatmyexhaustedfacultiesdemandedacigar。Theoperationoflightingacigarusuallysuggestedthatalittlequietreflectionandmeditationwouldbeofservicetome,andIalwaysallowedmyselftobeguidedbyprudentialinstincts。Eventually,seatedbymywindow,asbeforestated,Melonsassertedhimself,thoughourconversationrarelywentfurtherthan"Hello,Mister!"and"Ah,Melons!"avagabondinstinctwefeltincommonimpliedacommuniondeeperthanwords。Inthisspiritualcomminglingthetimepassed,oftenbeguiledbygymnasticsonthefenceorline(alwayswithaneyetomywindow)untildinnerwasannouncedandIfoundamorepracticalvoidrequiredmyattention。Anunlookedforincidentdrewusincloserrelation。
Asea-faringfriendjustfromatropicalvoyagehadpresentedmewithabunchofbananas。Theywerenotquiteripe,andIhungthembeforemywindowtomatureinthesunofMcGinnis’sCourt,whoseforcingqualitieswereremarkable。Inthemysteriouslymingledodorsofshipandshorewhichtheydiffusedthroughoutmyroom,therewasalingeringreminiscenceoflowlatitudes。Buteventhatjoywasfleetingandevanescent:theyneverreachedmaturity。
Cominghomeoneday,asIturnedthecornerofthatfashionablethoroughfarebeforealludedto,Imetasmallboyeatingabanana。
Therewasnothingremarkableinthat,butasInearedMcGinnis’sCourtIpresentlymetanothersmallboy,alsoeatingabanana。A
thirdsmallboyengagedinalikeoccupationobtrudedapainfulcoincidenceuponmymind。Ileavethepsychologicalreadertodeterminetheexactco-relationbetweenthiscircumstanceandthesickeningsenseoflossthatovercamemeonwitnessingit。I
reachedmyroom——andfoundthebunchofbananaswasgone。
Therewasbutonewhoknewoftheirexistence,butonewhofrequentedmywindow,butonecapableofthegymnasticefforttoprocurethem,andthatwas——Iblushtosayit——Melons。Melonsthedepredator——Melons,despoiledbylargerboysofhisill-gottenbooty,orrecklessandindiscreetlyliberal;Melons——nowafugitiveonsomeneighboringhouse-top。Ilitacigar,and,drawingmychairtothewindow,soughtsurceaseofsorrowinthecontemplationofthefish-geranium。Inafewmomentssomethingwhitepassedmywindowatabouttheleveloftheedge。Therewasnomistakingthathoaryhead,whichnowrepresentedtomeonlyagediniquity。ItwasMelons,thatvenerable,juvenilehypocrite。
Heaffectednottoobserveme,andwouldhavewithdrawnquietly,butthathorriblefascinationwhichcausesthemurderertorevisitthesceneofhiscrime,impelledhimtowardmywindow。Ismokedcalmlyandgazedathimwithoutspeaking。Hewalkedseveraltimesupanddownthecourtwithahalf-rigid,half-belligerentexpressionofeyeandshoulder,intendedtorepresentthecarelessnessofinnocence。
Onceortwicehestopped,andputtinghisarmstheirwholelengthintohiscapacioustrousers,gazedwithsomeinterestattheadditionalwidththeythusacquired。Thenhewhistled。ThesingularconflictingconditionsofJohnBrown’sbodyandsoulwe’reatthattimebeginningtoattracttheattentionofyouth,andMelons’sperformanceofthatmelodywasalwaysremarkable。Butto-
dayhewhistledfalselyandshrillybetweenhisteeth。Atlasthemetmyeye。Hewincedslightly,butrecoveredhimself,andgoingtothefence,stoodforafewmomentsonhishands,withhisbarefeetquiveringintheair。Thenheturnedtowardmeandthrewoutaconversationalpreliminary。
"Theyisacirkis"——saidMelonsgravely,hangingwithhisbacktothefenceandhisarmstwistedaroundthepalings——"acirkisoveryonder!"——indicatingthelocalitywithhisfoot——"withhosses,andhossbackriders。Theyisamanwotridessixhossestoonct——sixhossestoonct——andnarysaddle"——andhepausedinexpectation。
Eventhisequestriannoveltydidnotaffectme。IstillkeptafixedgazeonMelons’seye,andhebegantotrembleandvisiblyshrinkinhiscapaciousgarment。Someotherdesperatemeans——
conversationwithMelonswasalwaysadesperatemeans——mustberesortedto。Herecommencedmoreartfully。
"DoyouknowCarrots?"
Ihadafaintremembranceofaboyofthateuphoniousname,withscarlethair,whowasaplaymateandpersecutorofMelons。ButI
saidnothing。
"Carrotsisabadboy。Killedapolicemanonct。Wearsadirkknifeinhisboots,sawhimto-daylookinginyourwindy。"
Ifeltthatthismustendhere。IrosesternlyandaddressedMelons。
"Melons,thisisallirrelevantandimpertinenttothecase。YOU
tookthosebananas。YourpropositionregardingCarrots,evenifI
wereinclinedtoacceptitascredibleinformation,doesnotalterthematerialissue。Youtookthosebananas。TheoffenceunderthestatutesofCaliforniaisfelony。HowfarCarrotsmayhavebeenaccessorytothefacteitherbeforeorafter,isnotmyintentionatpresenttodiscuss。Theactiscomplete。Yourpresentconductshowstheanimofuranditohavebeenequallyclear。"
BythetimeIhadfinishedthisexordium,Melonshaddisappeared,asIfullyexpected。
Heneverreappeared。TheremorsethatIhaveexperiencedforthepartIhadtakeninwhatIfearmayhaveresultedinhisutterandcompleteextermination,alas,hemaynotknow,exceptthroughthesepages。ForIhaveneverseenhimsince。Whetherheranawayandwenttoseatoreappearatsomefuturedayasthemostancientofmariners,orwhetherheburiedhimselfcompletelyinhistrousers,Inevershallknow。Ihavereadthepapersanxiouslyforaccountsofhim。IhavegonetothePoliceOfficeinthevainattemptofidentifyinghimasalostchild。ButIneversawhimorheardofhimsince。Strangefearshavesometimescrossedmymindthathisvenerableappearancemayhavebeenactuallytheresultofsenility,andthathemayhavebeengatheredpeacefullytohisfathersinagreenoldage。Ihaveevenhaddoubtsofhisexistence,andhavesometimesthoughtthathewasprovidentiallyandmysteriouslyofferedtofillthevoidIhavebeforealludedto。InthathopeI
havewrittenthesepages。
SURPRISINGADVENTURESOFMASTERCHARLESSUMMERTON。
Atexactlyhalfpastnineo’clockonthemorningofSaturday,August26,1865,MasterCharlesSummerton,agedfiveyears,disappearedmysteriouslyfromhispaternalresidenceonFolsomStreet,SanFrancisco。Attwenty-fiveminutespastninehehadbeenobserved,bythebutcher,amusinghimselfbygoingthroughthatpopularyouthfulexerciseknownas"turningthecrab,"afeatinwhichhewassingularlyproficient。Atacourtofinquirysummarilyheldinthebackparlorat10。15,Bridget,cook,deposedtohavedetectedhimattwentyminutespastnine,inthefeloniousabstractionofsugarfromthepantry,which,bythesametoken,hadsheknownwhatwasa-comin’,she’dhaveneverprevinted。Patsey,ashrill-voicedyouthfromaneighboringalley,testifiedtohaveseen"Chowley"athalfpastnine,infrontofthebutcher’sshoproundthecorner,butasthisyounggentlemanchosetothrowoutthegratuitousbeliefthatthemissingchildhadbeenconvertedintosausagesbythebutcher,histestimonywasreceivedwithsomecautionbythefemaleportionofthecourt,andwithdownrightscornandcontumelybyitsmasculinemembers。Butwhatevermighthavebeenthehourofhisdeparture,itwascertainthatfromhalfpasttenA。M。untilnineP。M。,whenhewasbroughthomebyapoliceman,CharlesSummertonwasmissing。Beingnaturallyofareticentdisposition,hehassinceresisted,withbutoneexception,anyattempttowrestfromhimastatementofhiswhereaboutsduringthatperiod。Thatexceptionhasbeenmyself。
Hehasrelatedtomethefollowinginthestrictestconfidence。
Hisintentiononleavingthedoor-stepsofhisdwellingwastoproceedwithoutdelaytoVanDieman’sLand,bywayofSecondandMarketstreets。ThisprojectwassubsequentlymodifiedsofarastopermitavisittoOtaheite,whereCaptainCookwaskilled。Theoutfitforhisvoyageconsistedoftwocar-tickets,fivecentsinsilver,afishing-line,thebrasscappingofaspoolofcotton,which,inhiseyes,boresomeresemblancetometalliccurrency,andaSunday-schoollibraryticket。Hisgarments,admirablyadaptedtotheexigenciesofanyclimate,wereseverallyastrawhatwithapinkribbon,astripedshirt,overwhichapairoftrousers,uncommonlywideincomparisontotheirlength,werebuttoned,stripedbalmoralstockings,whichgavehisyouthfullegssomethingoftheappearanceofwintergreencandy,andcopper-toedshoeswithironheels,capableofstrikingfirefromanyflagstone。Thislatterquality,MasterCharleycouldnothelpfeeling,wouldbeofinfiniteservicetohiminthewildsofVanDieman’sLand,which,aspictoriallyrepresentedinhisgeography,seemedtobedeficientincornergroceriesandmatches。
Exactlyastheclockstruckthehalf-hour,theshortlegsandstrawhatofMasterCharlesSummertondisappearedaroundthecorner。Heranrapidly,partlybywayofinuringhimselftothefatiguesofthejourneybeforehim,andpartlybywayoftestinghisspeedwiththatofaNorthBeachcarwhichwasproceedinginhisdirection。
Theconductor,notbeingawareofthisgenerousandloftyemulation,andbeingsomewhatconcernedatthespectacleofapairofveryshort,twinklinglegssofarintherear,stoppedhiscarandgenerouslyassistedtheyouthfulSummertonupontheplatform。Fromthispointahiatusofseveralhours’durationoccursinCharles’snarrative。Heisundertheimpressionthathe"rodeout"notonlyhistwotickets,butthathebecamesubsequentlyindebtedtothecompanyforseveraltripstoandfromtheoppositetermini,andthatatlast,resolutelyrefusingtogiveanyexplanationofhisconduct,hewasfinallyejected,muchtohisrelief,onastreetcorner。
Although,asheinformsus,hefeltperfectlysatisfiedwiththisarrangement,hewasimpelledunderthecircumstancestohurlaftertheconductoranopprobriousappellationwhichhehadascertainedfromPatseywasthecorrectthinginsuchemergencies,andpossessedpeculiarlyexasperatingproperties。
Wenowapproachathrillingpartofthenarrative,beforewhichmostoftheadventuresofthe"Boys’OwnBook"paleintoinsignificance。TherearetimeswhentherecollectionofthisadventurecausesMasterCharlestobreakoutinacoldsweat,andhehasseveraltimessinceitsoccurrencebeenawakenedbylamentationsandoutcriesinthenightseasonbymerelydreamingofit。Onthecornerofthestreetlayseverallargeemptysugarhogsheads。Afewyounggentlemendisportedthemselvestherein,armedwithsticks,withwhichtheyremovedthesugarwhichstilladheredtothejointsofthestaves,andconveyedittotheirmouths。Findingacasknotyetpreempted,MasterCharlessettowork,andforafewmomentsrevelledinawildsaccharinedream,whencehewasfinallyrousedbyanangryvoiceandtherapidlyretreatingfootstepsofhiscomrades。Anominoussoundsmotehisear,andthenextmomenthefeltthecaskwhereinhelayupliftedandsetuprightagainstthewall。Hewasaprisoner,butasyetundiscovered。Beingsatisfiedinhismindthathangingwasthesystematicandlegalizedpenaltyfortheoutragehehadcommitted,hekeptdownmanfullythecrythatrosetohislips。
Inafewmomentshefeltthecaskagainliftedbyapowerfulhand,whichappearedabovehimattheedgeofhisprison,andwhichheconcludedbelongedtotheferociousgiantBlunderbore,whosefeaturesandlimbshehadfrequentlymetincoloredpictures。
Beforehecouldrecoverfromhisastonishment,hiscaskwasplacedwithseveralothersonacart,andrapidlydrivenaway。Theridewhichensuedhedescribesasbeingfearfulintheextreme。Rolledaroundlikeapillinabox,theagonieswhichhesufferedmaybehintedat,notspoken。Evidencesofthatprotractedstrugglewerevisibleinhisgarments,whichwereoftheconsistencyofsyrup,andhishair,whichforseveralhours,underthetreatmentofhotwater,yieldedathintreacle。Atlengththecartstoppedononeofthewharves,andthecartmanbegantounload。AshetiltedoverthecaskinwhichCharleslay,anexclamationbrokefromhislips,andtheedgeofthecaskfellfromhishands,slidingitslateoccupantuponthewharf。Toregainhisshortlegs,andtoputthegreatestpossibledistancebetweenhimselfandthecartman,werehisfirstmovementsonregaininghisliberty。HedidnotstopuntilhereachedthecornerofFrontStreet。
Anotherblanksucceedsinthisveracioushistory。Hecannotrememberhoworwhenhefoundhimselfinfrontofthecircustent。
Hehasanindistinctrecollectionofhavingpassedthroughalongstreetofstoreswhichwereallclosed,andwhichmadehimfearthatitwasSunday,andthathehadspentamiserablenightinthesugarcask。Butheremembershearingthesoundofmusicwithinthetent,andofcreepingonhishandsandknees,whennoonewaslooking,untilhepassedunderthecanvas。Hisdescriptionofthewonderscontainedwithinthatcircle;oftheterrificfeatswhichwereperformedbyamanonapole,sincepractisedbyhiminthebackyard;ofthehorses,oneofwhichwasspottedandresembledananimalinhisNoah’sArk,hithertounrecognizedandundefined;ofthefemaleequestrians,whosedressescouldonlybeequalledinmagnificencebythefrocksofhissister’sdoll;ofthepaintedclown,whosejokesexcitedamerriment,somewhattingedbyanundefinedfear,wasaneffortoflanguagewhichthispencouldbutweaklytranscribe,andwhichnoquantityofexclamationpointscouldsufficientlyillustrate。Heisnotquitecertainwhatfollowed。Heremembersthatalmostimmediatelyonleavingthecircusitbecamedark,andthathefellasleep,wakingupatintervalsonthecornersofthestreets,onfrontsteps,insomebody’sarms,andfinallyinhisownbed。Hewasnotawareofexperiencinganyregretforhisconduct;hedoesnotrecallfeelingatanytimeadispositiontogohome;heremembersdistinctlythathefelthungry。
Hehasmadethisdisclosureinconfidence。Hewishesittoberespected。Hewantstoknowifyouhavefivecentsaboutyou。
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