EnterSIRANDREW，SIRTOBYBELCH，andFABIANSIRANDREWNow，sir，haveImetyouagain？there’sforyou。SEBASTIANWhy，there’sforthee，andthere，andthere。Areallthepeoplemad？SIRTOBYBELCHHold，sir，orI’llthrowyourdaggero’erthehouse。ClownThiswillItellmyladystraight：Iwouldnotbeinsomeofyourcoatsfortwopence。
　　ExitSIRTOBYBELCHComeon，sir；hold。SIRANDREWNay，lethimalone：I’llgoanotherwaytoworkwithhim；I’llhaveanactionofbatteryagainsthim，iftherebeanylawinIllyria：thoughI
　　struckhimfirst，yetit’snomatterforthat。SEBASTIANLetgothyhand。SIRTOBYBELCHCome，sir，Iwillnotletyougo。Come，myyoungsoldier，putupyouriron：youarewellfleshed；
　　comeon。SEBASTIANIwillbefreefromthee。Whatwouldstthounow？Ifthoudaresttemptmefurther，drawthysword。SIRTOBYBELCHWhat，what？Nay，thenImusthaveanounceortwoofthismalapertbloodfromyou。
　　EnterOLIVIAOLIVIAHold，Toby；onthylifeIchargethee，hold！SIRTOBYBELCHMadam！OLIVIAWillitbeeverthus？Ungraciouswretch，Fitforthemountainsandthebarbarouscaves，Wheremannersne’erwerepreach’d！outofmysight！
　　Benotoffended，dearCesario。
　　Rudesby，begone！
　　ExeuntSIRTOBYBELCH，SIRANDREW，andFABIAN
　　Iprithee，gentlefriend，Letthyfairwisdom，notthypassion，swayInthisuncivilandthouunjustextentAgainstthypeace。Gowithmetomyhouse，AndhearthoutherehowmanyfruitlesspranksThisruffianhathbotch’dup，thatthoutherebyMaystsmileatthis：thoushaltnotchoosebutgo：
　　Donotdeny。Beshrewhissoulforme，Hestartedonepoorheartofmineinthee。SEBASTIANWhatrelishisinthis？howrunsthestream？
　　OrIammad，orelsethisisadream：
　　LetfancystillmysenseinLethesteep；
　　Ifitbethustodream，stillletmesleep！OLIVIANay，come，Iprithee；wouldthou’ldstberuledbyme！SEBASTIANMadam，Iwill。OLIVIAO，sayso，andsobe！
　　ExeuntSCENEII。OLIVIA’shouse。EnterMARIAandClownMARIANay，Iprithee，putonthisgownandthisbeard；
　　makehimbelievethouartSirTopasthecurate：
　　doitquickly；I’llcallSirTobythewhilst。
　　ExitClownWell，I’llputiton，andIwilldissemblemyselfin’t；andIwouldIwerethefirstthateverdissembledinsuchagown。Iamnottallenoughtobecomethefunctionwell，norleanenoughtobethoughtagoodstudent；buttobesaidanhonestmanandagoodhousekeepergoesasfairlyastosayacarefulmanandagreatscholar。Thecompetitorsenter。
　　EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandMARIASIRTOBYBELCHJoveblessthee，masterParson。ClownBonosdies，SirToby：for，astheoldhermitofPrague，thatneversawpenandink，verywittilysaidtoanieceofKingGorboduc，’Thatthatisis；’
　　soI，beingMasterParson，amMasterParson；for，whatis’that’but’that，’and’is’but’is’？SIRTOBYBELCHTohim，SirTopas。ClownWhat，ho，Isay！peaceinthisprison！SIRTOBYBELCHTheknavecounterfeitswell；agoodknave。MALVOLIO[Within]Whocallsthere？ClownSirTopasthecurate，whocomestovisitMalvoliothelunatic。MALVOLIOSirTopas，SirTopas，goodSirTopas，gotomylady。ClownOut，hyperbolicalfiend！howvexestthouthisman！
　　talkestthounothingbutofladies？SIRTOBYBELCHWellsaid，MasterParson。MALVOLIOSirTopas，neverwasmanthuswronged：
　　goodSirTopas，donotthinkIammad：theyhavelaidmehereinhideousdarkness。ClownFie，thoudishonestSatan！Icalltheebythemostmodestterms；forIamoneofthosegentleonesthatwillusethedevilhimselfwithcourtesy：
　　sayestthouthathouseisdark？MALVOLIOAshell，SirTopas。ClownWhyithathbaywindowstransparentasbarricadoes，andtheclearstorestowardthesouthnorthareaslustrousasebony；andyetcomplainestthouofobstruction？MALVOLIOIamnotmad，SirTopas：Isaytoyou，thishouseisdark。ClownMadman，thouerrest：Isay，thereisnodarknessbutignorance；inwhichthouartmorepuzzledthantheEgyptiansintheirfog。MALVOLIOIsay，thishouseisasdarkasignorance，thoughignorancewereasdarkashell；andIsay，therewasnevermanthusabused。Iamnomoremadthanyouare：makethetrialofitinanyconstantquestion。ClownWhatistheopinionofPythagorasconcerningwildfowl？MALVOLIOThatthesoulofourgrandammighthaplyinhabitabird。ClownWhatthinkestthouofhisopinion？MALVOLIOIthinknoblyofthesoul，andnowayapprovehisopinion。ClownFaretheewell。Remainthoustillindarkness：
　　thoushaltholdtheopinionofPythagorasereIwillallowofthywits，andfeartokillawoodcock，lestthoudispossessthesoulofthygrandam。Faretheewell。MALVOLIOSirTopas，SirTopas！SIRTOBYBELCHMymostexquisiteSirTopas！ClownNay，Iamforallwaters。MARIAThoumightsthavedonethiswithoutthybeardandgown：heseestheenot。SIRTOBYBELCHTohiminthineownvoice，andbringmewordhowthoufindesthim：Iwouldwewerewellridofthisknavery。Ifhemaybeconvenientlydelivered，I
　　wouldhewere，forIamnowsofarinoffencewithmyniecethatIcannotpursuewithanysafetythissporttotheupshot。Comebyandbytomychamber。
　　ExeuntSIRTOBYBELCHandMARIAClown[Singing]
　　’Hey，Robin，jollyRobin，Tellmehowthyladydoes。’MALVOLIOFool！Clown’Myladyisunkind，perdy。’MALVOLIOFool！Clown’Alas，whyissheso？’MALVOLIOFool，Isay！Clown’Shelovesanother’——Whocalls，ha？MALVOLIOGoodfool，aseverthouwiltdeservewellatmyhand，helpmetoacandle，andpen，inkandpaper：
　　asIamagentleman，Iwilllivetobethankfultotheefor’t。ClownMasterMalvolio？MALVOLIOAy，goodfool。ClownAlas，sir，howfellyoubesidesyourfivewits？MALVOLIOFool，therewasneveramansonotoriouslyabused：I
　　amaswellinmywits，fool，asthouart。ClownButaswell？thenyouaremadindeed，ifyoubenobetterinyourwitsthanafool。MALVOLIOTheyhaveherepropertiedme；keepmeindarkness，sendministerstome，asses，anddoalltheycantofacemeoutofmywits。ClownAdviseyouwhatyousay；theministerishere。
　　Malvolio，Malvolio，thywitstheheavensrestore！
　　endeavourthyselftosleep，andleavethyvainbibblebabble。MALVOLIOSirTopas！ClownMaintainnowordswithhim，goodfellow。
　　Who，I，sir？notI，sir。Godbewi’you，goodSirTopas。
　　Merry，amen。Iwill，sir，Iwill。MALVOLIOFool，fool，fool，Isay！ClownAlas，sir，bepatient。Whatsayyousir？
　　Iamshentforspeakingtoyou。MALVOLIOGoodfool，helpmetosomelightandsomepaper：I
　　tellthee，IamaswellinmywitsasanymaninIllyria。ClownWell-a-daythatyouwere，sirMALVOLIOBythishand，Iam。Goodfool，someink，paperandlight；andconveywhatIwillsetdowntomylady：
　　itshalladvantagetheemorethaneverthebearingofletterdid。ClownIwillhelpyouto’t。Buttellmetrue，areyounotmadindeed？ordoyoubutcounterfeit？MALVOLIOBelieveme，Iamnot；Itelltheetrue。ClownNay，I’llne’erbelieveamadmantillIseehisbrains。Iwillfetchyoulightandpaperandink。MALVOLIOFool，I’llrequiteitinthehighestdegree：I
　　prithee，begone。Clown[Singing]
　　Iamgone，sir，Andanon，sir，I’llbewithyouagain，Inatrice，LiketotheoldVice，Yourneedtosustain；
　　Who，withdaggeroflath，Inhisrageandhiswrath，Cries，ah，ha！tothedevil：
　　Likeamadlad，Parethynails，dad；
　　Adieu，goodmandevil。
　　ExitSCENEIII。OLIVIA’sgarden。EnterSEBASTIANSEBASTIANThisistheair；thatistheglorioussun；
　　Thispearlshegaveme，Idofeel’tandsee’t；
　　Andthough’tiswonderthatenwrapsmethus，Yet’tisnotmadness。Where’sAntonio，then？
　　IcouldnotfindhimattheElephant：
　　Yettherehewas；andthereIfoundthiscredit，Thathedidrangethetowntoseekmeout。
　　Hiscounselnowmightdomegoldenservice；
　　Forthoughmysouldisputeswellwithmysense，Thatthismaybesomeerror，butnomadness，YetdoththisaccidentandfloodoffortuneSofarexceedallinstance，alldiscourse，ThatIamreadytodistrustmineeyesAndwranglewithmyreasonthatpersuadesmeToanyothertrustbutthatIammadOrelsethelady’smad；yet，if’twereso，Shecouldnotswayherhouse，commandherfollowers，TakeandgivebackaffairsandtheirdispatchWithsuchasmooth，discreetandstablebearingAsIperceiveshedoes：there’ssomethingin’tThatisdeceiveable。Butheretheladycomes。
　　EnterOLIVIAandPriestOLIVIABlamenotthishasteofmine。Ifyoumeanwell，NowgowithmeandwiththisholymanIntothechantryby：there，beforehim，Andunderneaththatconsecratedroof，Plightmethefullassuranceofyourfaith；
　　ThatmymostjealousandtoodoubtfulsoulMayliveatpeace。HeshallconcealitWhilesyouarewillingitshallcometonote，WhattimewewillourcelebrationkeepAccordingtomybirth。Whatdoyousay？SEBASTIANI’llfollowthisgoodman，andgowithyou；
　　And，havingsworntruth，everwillbetrue。OLIVIAThenleadtheway，goodfather；andheavenssoshine，Thattheymayfairlynotethisactofmine！
　　ExeuntACTVSCENEI。BeforeOLIVIA’shouse。EnterClownandFABIANFABIANNow，asthoulovestme，letmeseehisletter。ClownGoodMasterFabian，grantmeanotherrequest。FABIANAnything。ClownDonotdesiretoseethisletter。FABIANThisis，togiveadog，andinrecompensedesiremydogagain。
　　EnterDUKEORSINO，VIOLA，CURIO，andLordsDUKEORSINOBelongyoutotheLadyOlivia，friends？ClownAy，sir；wearesomeofhertrappings。DUKEORSINOIknowtheewell；howdostthou，mygoodfellow？ClownTruly，sir，thebetterformyfoesandtheworseformyfriends。DUKEORSINOJustthecontrary；thebetterforthyfriends。ClownNo，sir，theworse。DUKEORSINOHowcanthatbe？ClownMarry，sir，theypraisemeandmakeanassofme；
　　nowmyfoestellmeplainlyIamanass：sothatbymyfoes，sirIprofitintheknowledgeofmyself，andbymyfriends，Iamabused：sothat，conclusionstobeaskisses，ifyourfournegativesmakeyourtwoaffirmativeswhythen，theworseformyfriendsandthebetterformyfoes。DUKEORSINOWhy，thisisexcellent。ClownBymytroth，sir，no；thoughitpleaseyoutobeoneofmyfriends。DUKEORSINOThoushaltnotbetheworseforme：there’sgold。ClownButthatitwouldbedouble-dealing，sir，Iwouldyoucouldmakeitanother。DUKEORSINOO，yougivemeillcounsel。ClownPutyourgraceinyourpocket，sir，forthisonce，andletyourfleshandbloodobeyit。DUKEORSINOWell，Iwillbesomuchasinner，tobeadouble-dealer：there’sanother。ClownPrimo，secundo，tertio，isagoodplay；
　　andtheoldsayingis，thethirdpaysforall：thetriplex，sir，isagoodtrippingmeasure；orthebellsofSaintBennet，sir，mayputyouinmind；one，two，three。DUKEORSINOYoucanfoolnomoremoneyoutofmeatthisthrow：
　　ifyouwillletyourladyknowIamheretospeakwithher，andbringheralongwithyou，itmayawakemybountyfurther。ClownMarry，sir，lullabytoyourbountytillIcomeagain。Igo，sir；butIwouldnothaveyoutothinkthatmydesireofhavingisthesinofcovetousness：
　　but，asyousay，sir，letyourbountytakeanap，I
　　willawakeitanon。
　　ExitVIOLAHerecomestheman，sir，thatdidrescueme。
　　EnterANTONIOandOfficersDUKEORSINOThatfaceofhisIdorememberwell；
　　Yet，whenIsawitlast，itwasbesmear’dAsblackasVulcaninthesmokeofwar：
　　Abawblingvesselwashecaptainof，Forshallowdraughtandbulkunprizable；
　　WithwhichsuchscathfulgrappledidhemakeWiththemostnoblebottomofourfleet，ThatveryenvyandthetongueoflossCriedfameandhonouronhim。What’sthematter？FirstOfficerOrsino，thisisthatAntonioThattookthePhoenixandherfraughtfromCandy；
　　AndthisishethatdidtheTigerboard，WhenyouryoungnephewTituslosthisleg：
　　Hereinthestreets，desperateofshameandstate，Inprivatebrabbledidweapprehendhim。VIOLAHedidmekindness，sir，drewonmyside；
　　Butinconclusionputstrangespeechuponme：
　　Iknownotwhat’twasbutdistraction。DUKEORSINONotablepirate！thousalt-waterthief！
　　Whatfoolishboldnessbroughttheetotheirmercies，Whomthou，intermssobloodyandsodear，Hastmadethineenemies？ANTONIOOrsino，noblesir，BepleasedthatIshakeoffthesenamesyougiveme：
　　Antonioneveryetwasthieforpirate，ThoughIconfess，onbaseandgroundenough，Orsino’senemy。Awitchcraftdrewmehither：
　　Thatmostingratefulboytherebyyourside，Fromtherudesea’senragedandfoamymouthDidIredeem；awreckpasthopehewas：
　　HislifeIgavehimanddidtheretoaddMylove，withoutretentionorrestraint，Allhisindedication；forhissakeDidIexposemyself，pureforhislove，Intothedangerofthisadversetown；
　　Drewtodefendhimwhenhewasbeset：
　　Wherebeingapprehended，hisfalsecunning，Notmeaningtopartakewithmeindanger，Taughthimtofacemeoutofhisacquaintance，AndgrewatwentyyearsremovedthingWhileonewouldwink；deniedmemineownpurse，WhichIhadrecommendedtohisuseNothalfanhourbefore。VIOLAHowcanthisbe？DUKEORSINOWhencamehetothistown？ANTONIOTo-day，mylord；andforthreemonthsbefore，Nointerim，notaminute’svacancy，Bothdayandnightdidwekeepcompany。
　　EnterOLIVIAandAttendantsDUKEORSINOHerecomesthecountess：nowheavenwalksonearth。
　　Butforthee，fellow；fellow，thywordsaremadness：
　　Threemonthsthisyouthhathtendeduponme；
　　Butmoreofthatanon。Takehimaside。OLIVIAWhatwouldmylord，butthathemaynothave，WhereinOliviamayseemserviceable？
　　Cesario，youdonotkeeppromisewithme。VIOLAMadam！DUKEORSINOGraciousOlivia，——OLIVIAWhatdoyousay，Cesario？Goodmylord，——VIOLAMylordwouldspeak；mydutyhushesme。OLIVIAIfitbeaughttotheoldtune，mylord，ItisasfatandfulsometomineearAshowlingaftermusic。DUKEORSINOStillsocruel？OLIVIAStillsoconstant，lord。DUKEORSINOWhat，toperverseness？youuncivillady，TowhoseingrateandunauspiciousaltarsMysoulthefaithfull’stofferingshathbreathedoutThate’erdevotiontender’d！WhatshallIdo？OLIVIAEvenwhatitpleasemylord，thatshallbecomehim。DUKEORSINOWhyshouldInot，hadIthehearttodoit，LiketotheEgyptianthiefatpointofdeath，KillwhatIlove？——asavagejealousyThatsometimessavoursnobly。Buthearmethis：
　　Sinceyoutonon-regardancecastmyfaith，AndthatIpartlyknowtheinstrumentThatscrewsmefrommytrueplaceinyourfavour，Liveyouthemarble-breastedtyrantstill；
　　Butthisyourminion，whomIknowyoulove，Andwhom，byheavenIswear，Itenderdearly，HimwillItearoutofthatcrueleye，Wherehesitscrownedinhismaster’sspite。
　　Come，boy，withme；mythoughtsareripeinmischief：
　　I’llsacrificethelambthatIdolove，Tospitearaven’sheartwithinadove。VIOLAAndI，mostjocund，aptandwillingly，Todoyourest，athousanddeathswoulddie。OLIVIAWheregoesCesario？VIOLAAfterhimIloveMorethanIlovetheseeyes，morethanmylife，More，byallmores，thane’erIshalllovewife。
　　IfIdofeign，youwitnessesabovePunishmylifefortaintingofmylove！OLIVIAAyme，detested！howamIbeguiled！VIOLAWhodoesbeguileyou？whodoesdoyouwrong？OLIVIAHastthouforgotthyself？isitsolong？
　　Callforththeholyfather。DUKEORSINOCome，away！OLIVIAWhither，mylord？Cesario，husband，stay。DUKEORSINOHusband！OLIVIAAy，husband：canhethatdeny？DUKEORSINOHerhusband，sirrah！VIOLANo，mylord，notI。OLIVIAAlas，itisthebasenessofthyfearThatmakestheestranglethypropriety：
　　Fearnot，Cesario；takethyfortunesup；
　　Bethatthouknow’stthouart，andthenthouartAsgreatasthatthoufear’st。
　　EnterPriestO，welcome，father！
　　Father，Ichargethee，bythyreverence，Heretounfold，thoughlatelyweintendedTokeepindarknesswhatoccasionnowRevealsbefore’tisripe，whatthoudostknowHathnewlypass’dbetweenthisyouthandme。PriestAcontractofeternalbondoflove，Confirm’dbymutualjoinderofyourhands，Attestedbytheholycloseoflips，Strengthen’dbyinterchangementofyourrings；
　　AndalltheceremonyofthiscompactSeal’dinmyfunction，bymytestimony：
　　Sincewhen，mywatchhathtoldme，towardmygraveIhavetravell’dbuttwohours。DUKEORSINOOthoudissemblingcub！whatwiltthoubeWhentimehathsow’dagrizzleonthycase？
　　Orwillnotelsethycraftsoquicklygrow，Thatthineowntripshallbethineoverthrow？
　　Farewell，andtakeher；butdirectthyfeetWherethouandIhenceforthmaynevermeet。VIOLAMylord，Idoprotest——OLIVIAO，donotswear！
　　Holdlittlefaith，thoughthouhasttoomuchfear。
　　EnterSIRANDREWSIRANDREWFortheloveofGod，asurgeon！SendonepresentlytoSirToby。OLIVIAWhat’sthematter？SIRANDREWHehasbrokemyheadacrossandhasgivenSirTobyabloodycoxcombtoo：fortheloveofGod，yourhelp！IhadratherthanfortypoundIwereathome。OLIVIAWhohasdonethis，SirAndrew？SIRANDREWThecount’sgentleman，oneCesario：wetookhimforacoward，buthe’stheverydevilincardinate。DUKEORSINOMygentleman，Cesario？SIRANDREW’Od’slifelings，hereheis！Youbrokemyheadfornothing；andthatthatIdid，Iwassetontodo’tbySirToby。VIOLAWhydoyouspeaktome？Ineverhurtyou：
　　Youdrewyoursworduponmewithoutcause；
　　ButIbespokeyoufair，andhurtyounot。SIRANDREWIfabloodycoxcombbeahurt，youhavehurtme：I
　　thinkyousetnothingbyabloodycoxcomb。
　　EnterSIRTOBYBELCHandClownHerecomesSirTobyhalting；youshallhearmore：
　　butifhehadnotbeenindrink，hewouldhavetickledyouothergatesthanhedid。DUKEORSINOHownow，gentleman！howis’twithyou？SIRTOBYBELCHThat’sallone：hashurtme，andthere’stheendon’t。Sot，didstseeDicksurgeon，sot？ClownO，he’sdrunk，SirToby，anhouragone；
　　hiseyesweresetateighti’themorning。SIRTOBYBELCHThenhe’sarogue，andapassymeasurespanyn：I
　　hateadrunkenrogue。OLIVIAAwaywithhim！Whohathmadethishavocwiththem？SIRANDREWI’llhelpyou，SirToby，becausewellbedressedtogether。SIRTOBYBELCHWillyouhelp？anass-headandacoxcombandaknave，athin-facedknave，agull！OLIVIAGethimtobed，andlethishurtbelook’dto。
　　ExeuntClown，FABIAN，SIRTOBYBELCH，andSIRANDREW
　　EnterSEBASTIANSEBASTIANIamsorry，madam，Ihavehurtyourkinsman：
　　But，haditbeenthebrotherofmyblood，Imusthavedonenolesswithwitandsafety。
　　Youthrowastrangeregarduponme，andbythatIdoperceiveithathoffendedyou：
　　Pardonme，sweetone，evenforthevowsWemadeeachotherbutsolateago。DUKEORSINOOneface，onevoice，onehabit，andtwopersons，Anaturalperspective，thatisandisnot！SEBASTIANAntonio，OmydearAntonio！
　　Howhavethehoursrack’dandtorturedme，SinceIhavelostthee！ANTONIOSebastianareyou？SEBASTIANFear’stthouthat，Antonio？ANTONIOHowhaveyoumadedivisionofyourself？
　　Anapple，cleftintwo，isnotmoretwinThanthesetwocreatures。WhichisSebastian？OLIVIAMostwonderful！SEBASTIANDoIstandthere？Ineverhadabrother；
　　Norcantherebethatdeityinmynature，Ofhereandeverywhere。Ihadasister，Whomtheblindwavesandsurgeshavedevour’d。
　　Ofcharity，whatkinareyoutome？
　　Whatcountryman？whatname？whatparentage？VIOLAOfMessaline：Sebastianwasmyfather；
　　SuchaSebastianwasmybrothertoo，Sowenthesuitedtohiswaterytomb：
　　IfspiritscanassumebothformandsuitYoucometofrightus。SEBASTIANAspiritIamindeed；
　　ButaminthatdimensiongrosslycladWhichfromthewombIdidparticipate。
　　Wereyouawoman，astherestgoeseven，Ishouldmytearsletfalluponyourcheek，Andsay’Thrice-welcome，drownedViola！’VIOLAMyfatherhadamoleuponhisbrow。SEBASTIANAndsohadmine。VIOLAAnddiedthatdaywhenViolafromherbirthHadnumber’dthirteenyears。SEBASTIANO，thatrecordislivelyinmysoul！
　　HefinishedindeedhismortalactThatdaythatmademysisterthirteenyears。VIOLAIfnothingletstomakeushappybothButthismymasculineusurp’dattire，DonotembracemetilleachcircumstanceOfplace，time，fortune，docohereandjumpThatIamViola：whichtoconfirm，I’llbringyoutoacaptaininthistown，Whereliemymaidenweeds；bywhosegentlehelpIwaspreservedtoservethisnoblecount。
　　AlltheoccurrenceofmyfortunesinceHathbeenbetweenthisladyandthislord。SEBASTIAN[ToOLIVIA]Socomesit，lady，youhavebeenmistook：
　　Butnaturetoherbiasdrewinthat。
　　Youwouldhavebeencontractedtoamaid；
　　Norareyoutherein，bymylife，deceived，Youarebetroth’dbothtoamaidandman。DUKEORSINOBenotamazed；rightnobleishisblood。
　　Ifthisbeso，asyettheglassseemstrue，Ishallhaveshareinthismosthappywreck。
　　ToVIOLA
　　Boy，thouhastsaidtomeathousandtimesThounevershouldstlovewomanliketome。VIOLAAndallthosesayingswillIoverswear；
　　AndthoseswearingskeepastrueinsoulAsdoththatorbedcontinentthefireThatseversdayfromnight。DUKEORSINOGivemethyhand；
　　Andletmeseetheeinthywoman’sweeds。VIOLAThecaptainthatdidbringmefirstonshoreHathmymaid’sgarments：heuponsomeactionIsnowindurance，atMalvolio’ssuit，Agentleman，andfollowerofmylady’s。OLIVIAHeshallenlargehim：fetchMalvoliohither：
　　Andyet，alas，nowIrememberme，Theysay，poorgentleman，he’smuchdistract。
　　Re-enterClownwithaletter，andFABIAN
　　AmostextractingfrenzyofmineownFrommyremembranceclearlybanish’dhis。
　　Howdoeshe，sirrah？ClownTruly，madam，heholdsBelzebubatthestaves’sendaswellasamaninhiscasemaydo：hasherewritalettertoyou；Ishouldhavegiven’tyouto-daymorning，butasamadman’sepistlesarenogospels，soitskillsnotmuchwhentheyaredelivered。OLIVIAOpen’t，andreadit。ClownLookthentobewelledifiedwhenthefooldeliversthemadman。
　　Reads’BytheLord，madam，’——OLIVIAHownow！artthoumad？ClownNo，madam，Idobutreadmadness：anyourladyshipwillhaveitasitoughttobe，youmustallowVox。OLIVIAPrithee，readi’thyrightwits。ClownSoIdo，madonna；buttoreadhisrightwitsistoreadthus：thereforeperpend，myprincess，andgiveear。OLIVIAReadityou，sirrah。
　　ToFABIANFABIAN[Reads]’BytheLord，madam，youwrongme，andtheworldshallknowit：thoughyouhaveputmeintodarknessandgivenyourdrunkencousinruleoverme，yethaveIthebenefitofmysensesaswellasyourladyship。IhaveyourownletterthatinducedmetothesemblanceIputon；withthewhichIdoubtnotbuttodomyselfmuchright，oryoumuchshame。
　　Thinkofmeasyouplease。Ileavemydutyalittleunthoughtofandspeakoutofmyinjury。
　　THEMADLY-USEDMALVOLIO。’OLIVIADidhewritethis？ClownAy，madam。DUKEORSINOThissavoursnotmuchofdistraction。OLIVIASeehimdeliver’d，Fabian；bringhimhither。
　　ExitFABIAN
　　Mylordsopleaseyou，thesethingsfurtherthoughton，Tothinkmeaswellasisterasawife，Onedayshallcrowntheallianceon’t，sopleaseyou，Hereatmyhouseandatmypropercost。DUKEORSINOMadam，Iammostapttoembraceyouroffer。
　　ToVIOLA
　　Yourmasterquitsyou；andforyourservicedonehim，Somuchagainstthemettleofyoursex，Sofarbeneathyoursoftandtenderbreeding，Andsinceyoucall’dmemasterforsolong，Hereismyhand：youshallfromthistimebeYourmaster’smistress。OLIVIAAsister！youareshe。
　　Re-enterFABIAN，withMALVOLIODUKEORSINOIsthisthemadman？OLIVIAAy，mylord，thissame。
　　Hownow，Malvolio！MALVOLIOMadam，youhavedonemewrong，Notoriouswrong。OLIVIAHaveI，Malvolio？no。MALVOLIOLady，youhave。Prayyou，perusethatletter。
　　Youmustnotnowdenyitisyourhand：
　　Writefromit，ifyoucan，inhandorphrase；
　　Orsay’tisnotyourseal，noryourinvention：
　　Youcansaynoneofthis：well，grantitthenAndtellme，inthemodestyofhonour，Whyyouhavegivenmesuchclearlightsoffavour，Bademecomesmilingandcross-garter’dtoyou，ToputonyellowstockingsandtofrownUponSirTobyandthelighterpeople；
　　And，actingthisinanobedienthope，Whyhaveyousuffer’dmetobeimprison’d，Keptinadarkhouse，visitedbythepriest，AndmadethemostnotoriousgeckandgullThate’erinventionplay’don？tellmewhy。OLIVIAAlas，Malvolio，thisisnotmywriting，Though，Iconfess，muchlikethecharacterButoutofquestion’tisMaria’shand。
　　AndnowIdobethinkme，itwassheFirsttoldmethouwastmad；thencamestinsmiling，AndinsuchformswhichherewerepresupposedUpontheeintheletter。Prithee，becontent：
　　Thispractisehathmostshrewdlypass’duponthee；
　　Butwhenweknowthegroundsandauthorsofit，ThoushaltbeboththeplaintiffandthejudgeOfthineowncause。FABIANGoodmadam，hearmespeak，AndletnoquarrelnornobrawltocomeTainttheconditionofthispresenthour，WhichIhavewonder’dat。Inhopeitshallnot，MostfreelyIconfess，myselfandTobySetthisdeviceagainstMalvoliohere，UponsomestubbornanduncourteouspartsWehadconceivedagainsthim：MariawritTheletteratSirToby’sgreatimportance；
　　Inrecompensewhereofhehathmarriedher。
　　Howwithasportfulmaliceitwasfollow’d，Mayratherpluckonlaughterthanrevenge；
　　Ifthattheinjuriesbejustlyweigh’dThathaveonbothsidespass’d。OLIVIAAlas，poorfool，howhavetheybaffledthee！ClownWhy，’someareborngreat，someachievegreatness，andsomehavegreatnessthrownuponthem。’I
　　wasone，sir，inthisinterlude；oneSirTopas，sir；
　　butthat’sallone。’BytheLord，fool，Iamnotmad。’
　　Butdoyouremember？’Madam，whylaughyouatsuchabarrenrascal？anyousmilenot，he’sgagged：’
　　andthusthewhirligigoftimebringsinhisrevenges。MALVOLIOI’llberevengedonthewholepackofyou。
　　ExitOLIVIAHehathbeenmostnotoriouslyabused。DUKEORSINOPursuehimandentreathimtoapeace：
　　Hehathnottoldusofthecaptainyet：
　　Whenthatisknownandgoldentimeconvents，AsolemncombinationshallbemadeOfourdearsouls。Meantime，sweetsister，Wewillnotpartfromhence。Cesario，come；
　　Forsoyoushallbe，whileyouareaman；
　　Butwheninotherhabitsyouareseen，Orsino’smistressandhisfancy’squeen。
　　Exeuntall，exceptClownClown[Sings]
　　WhenthatIwasandalittletinyboy，Withhey，ho，thewindandtherain，Afoolishthingwasbutatoy，Fortherainitrainetheveryday。
　　ButwhenIcametoman’sestate，Withhey，ho，&；c。
　　’Gainstknavesandthievesmenshuttheirgate，Fortherain，&；c。
　　ButwhenIcame，alas！towive，Withhey，ho，&；c。
　　ByswaggeringcouldIneverthrive，Fortherain，&；c。
　　ButwhenIcameuntomybeds，Withhey，ho，&；c。
　　Withtoss-potsstillhaddrunkenheads，Fortherain，&；c。
　　Agreatwhileagotheworldbegun，Withhey，ho，&；c。
　　Butthat’sallone，ourplayisdone，Andwe’llstrivetopleaseyoueveryday。