ExeuntACTIVSCENEI。Theforest。EnterROSALIND，CELIA，andJAQUESJAQUESIprithee，prettyyouth，letmebebetteracquaintedwiththee。ROSALINDTheysayyouareamelancholyfellow。JAQUESIamso；Idoloveitbetterthanlaughing。ROSALINDThosethatareinextremityofeitherareabominablefellowsandbetraythemselvestoeverymoderncensureworsethandrunkards。JAQUESWhy，’tisgoodtobesadandsaynothing。ROSALINDWhythen，’tisgoodtobeapost。JAQUESIhaveneitherthescholar’smelancholy，whichisemulation，northemusician’s，whichisfantastical，northecourtier’s，whichisproud，northesoldier’s，whichisambitious，northelawyer’s，whichispolitic，northelady’s，whichisnice，northelover’s，whichisallthese：butitisamelancholyofmineown，compoundedofmanysimples，extractedfrommanyobjects，andindeedthesundry’scontemplationofmytravels，inwhichmyoftenruminationwrapsmemamosthumoroussadness。ROSALINDAtraveller！Bymyfaith，youhavegreatreasontobesad：Ifearyouhavesoldyourownlandstoseeothermen’s；then，tohaveseenmuchandtohavenothing，istohavericheyesandpoorhands。JAQUESYes，Ihavegainedmyexperience。ROSALINDAndyourexperiencemakesyousad：Ihadratherhaveafooltomakememerrythanexperiencetomakemesad；andtotravelforittoo！
　　EnterORLANDOORLANDOGooddayandhappiness，dearRosalind！JAQUESNay，then，Godbewi’you，anyoutalkinblankverse。
　　ExitROSALINDFarewell，MonsieurTraveller：lookyoulispandwearstrangesuits，disableallthebenefitsofyourowncountry，beoutoflovewithyournativityandalmostchideGodformakingyouthatcountenanceyouare，orIwillscarcethinkyouhaveswaminagondola。Why，hownow，Orlando！wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile？Youalover！Anyouservemesuchanothertrick，nevercomeinmysightmore。ORLANDOMyfairRosalind，Icomewithinanhourofmypromise。ROSALINDBreakanhour’spromiseinlove！Hethatwilldivideaminuteintoathousandpartsandbreakbutapartofthethousandthpartofaminuteintheaffairsoflove，itmaybesaidofhimthatCupidhathclappedhimo’theshoulder，butI’llwarranthimheart-whole。ORLANDOPardonme，dearRosalind。ROSALINDNay，anyoubesotardy，comenomoreinmysight：I
　　hadasliefbewooedofasnail。ORLANDOOfasnail？ROSALINDAy，ofasnail；forthoughhecomesslowly，hecarrieshishouseonhishead；abetterjointure，Ithink，thanyoumakeawoman：besideshebringshisdestinywithhim。ORLANDOWhat’sthat？ROSALINDWhy，horns，whichsuchasyouarefaintobebeholdingtoyourwivesfor：buthecomesarmedinhisfortuneandpreventstheslanderofhiswife。ORLANDOVirtueisnohorn-maker；andmyRosalindisvirtuous。ROSALINDAndIamyourRosalind。CELIAItpleaseshimtocallyouso；buthehathaRosalindofabetterleerthanyou。ROSALINDCome，woome，woome，fornowIaminaholidayhumourandlikeenoughtoconsent。Whatwouldyousaytomenow，anIwereyourveryveryRosalind？ORLANDOIwouldkissbeforeIspoke。ROSALINDNay，youwerebetterspeakfirst，andwhenyouweregravelledforlackofmatter，youmighttakeoccasiontokiss。Verygoodorators，whentheyareout，theywillspit；andforloverslacking——Godwarnus！——matter，thecleanliestshiftistokiss。ORLANDOHowifthekissbedenied？ROSALINDThensheputsyoutoentreaty，andtherebeginsnewmatter。ORLANDOWhocouldbeout，beingbeforehisbelovedmistress？ROSALINDMarry，thatshouldyou，ifIwereyourmistress，orIshouldthinkmyhonestyrankerthanmywit。ORLANDOWhat，ofmysuit？ROSALINDNotoutofyourapparel，andyetoutofyoursuit。
　　AmnotIyourRosalind？ORLANDOItakesomejoytosayyouare，becauseIwouldbetalkingofher。ROSALINDWellinherpersonIsayIwillnothaveyou。ORLANDOTheninmineownpersonIdie。ROSALINDNo，faith，diebyattorney。Thepoorworldisalmostsixthousandyearsold，andinallthistimetherewasnotanymandiedinhisownperson，videlicit，inalove-cause。TroilushadhisbrainsdashedoutwithaGrecianclub；yethedidwhathecouldtodiebefore，andheisoneofthepatternsoflove。Leander，hewouldhavelivedmanyafairyear，thoughHerohadturnednun，ifithadnotbeenforahotmidsummernight；for，goodyouth，hewentbutforthtowashhimintheHellespontandbeingtakenwiththecrampwasdrownedandthefoolishcoronersofthatagefounditwas’HeroofSestos。’
　　Butthesearealllies：menhavediedfromtimetotimeandwormshaveeatenthem，butnotforlove。ORLANDOIwouldnothavemyrightRosalindofthismind，for，Iprotest，herfrownmightkillme。ROSALINDBythishand，itwillnotkillafly。
　　Butcome，nowIwillbeyourRosalindinamorecoming-ondisposition，andaskmewhatyouwill。Iwillgrantit。ORLANDOThenloveme，Rosalind。ROSALINDYes，faith，willI，FridaysandSaturdaysandall。ORLANDOAndwiltthouhaveme？ROSALINDAy，andtwentysuch。ORLANDOWhatsayestthou？ROSALINDAreyounotgood？ORLANDOIhopeso。ROSALINDWhythen，canonedesiretoomuchofagoodthing？
　　Come，sister，youshallbethepriestandmarryus。
　　Givemeyourhand，Orlando。Whatdoyousay，sister？ORLANDOPraythee，marryus。CELIAIcannotsaythewords。ROSALINDYoumustbegin，’Willyou，Orlando——’CELIAGoto。Willyou，Orlando，havetowifethisRosalind？ORLANDOIwill。ROSALINDAy，butwhen？ORLANDOWhynow；asfastasshecanmarryus。ROSALINDThenyoumustsay’Itakethee，Rosalind，forwife。’ORLANDOItakethee，Rosalind，forwife。ROSALINDImightaskyouforyourcommission；
　　butIdotakethee，Orlando，formyhusband：there’sagirlgoesbeforethepriest；andcertainlyawoman’sthoughtrunsbeforeheractions。ORLANDOSodoallthoughts；theyarewinged。ROSALINDNowtellmehowlongyouwouldhaveherafteryouhavepossessedher。ORLANDOForeverandaday。ROSALINDSay’aday，’withoutthe’ever。’No，no，Orlando；
　　menareAprilwhentheywoo，Decemberwhentheywed：
　　maidsareMaywhentheyaremaids，buttheskychangeswhentheyarewives。IwillbemorejealousoftheethanaBarbarycock-pigeonoverhishen，moreclamorousthanaparrotagainstrain，morenew-fangledthananape，moregiddyinmydesiresthanamonkey：Iwillweepfornothing，likeDianainthefountain，andIwilldothatwhenyouaredisposedtobemerry；Iwilllaughlikeahyen，andthatwhenthouartinclinedtosleep。ORLANDOButwillmyRosalinddoso？ROSALINDBymylife，shewilldoasIdo。ORLANDOO，butsheiswise。ROSALINDOrelseshecouldnothavethewittodothis：thewiser，thewaywarder：makethedoorsuponawoman’switanditwilloutatthecasement；shutthatand’twilloutatthekey-hole；stopthat，’twillflywiththesmokeoutatthechimney。ORLANDOAmanthathadawifewithsuchawit，hemightsay’Wit，whitherwilt？’ROSALINDNay，youmightkeepthatchequeforittillyoumetyourwife’switgoingtoyourneighbour’sbed。ORLANDOAndwhatwitcouldwithavetoexcusethat？ROSALINDMarry，tosayshecametoseekyouthere。
　　Youshallnevertakeherwithoutheranswer，unlessyoutakeherwithouthertongue。O，thatwomanthatcannotmakeherfaultherhusband’soccasion，lethernevernurseherchildherself，forshewillbreeditlikeafool！ORLANDOForthesetwohours，Rosalind，Iwillleavethee。ROSALINDAlas！dearlove，Icannotlacktheetwohours。ORLANDOImustattendthedukeatdinner：bytwoo’clockI
　　willbewiththeeagain。ROSALINDAy，goyourways，goyourways；Iknewwhatyouwouldprove：myfriendstoldmeasmuch，andI
　　thoughtnoless：thatflatteringtongueofyourswonme：’tisbutonecastaway，andso，come，death！Twoo’clockisyourhour？ORLANDOAy，sweetRosalind。ROSALINDBymytroth，andingoodearnest，andsoGodmendme，andbyallprettyoathsthatarenotdangerous，ifyoubreakonejotofyourpromiseorcomeoneminutebehindyourhour，Iwillthinkyouthemostpatheticalbreak-promiseandthemosthollowloverandthemostunworthyofheryoucallRosalindthatmaybechosenoutofthegrossbandoftheunfaithful：thereforebewaremycensureandkeepyourpromise。ORLANDOWithnolessreligionthanifthouwertindeedmyRosalind：soadieu。ROSALINDWell，Timeistheoldjusticethatexaminesallsuchoffenders，andletTimetry：adieu。
　　ExitORLANDOCELIAYouhavesimplymisusedoursexinyourlove-prate：
　　wemusthaveyourdoubletandhosepluckedoveryourhead，andshowtheworldwhatthebirdhathdonetoherownnest。ROSALINDOcoz，coz，coz，myprettylittlecoz，thatthoudidstknowhowmanyfathomdeepIaminlove！
　　Butitcannotbesounded：myaffectionhathanunknownbottom，likethebayofPortugal。CELIAOrrather，bottomless，thatasfastasyoupouraffectionin，itrunsout。ROSALINDNo，thatsamewickedbastardofVenusthatwasbegotofthought，conceivedofspleenandbornofmadness，thatblindrascallyboythatabuseseveryone’seyesbecausehisownareout，lethimbejudgehowdeepI
　　aminlove。I’lltellthee，Aliena，IcannotbeoutofthesightofOrlando：I’llgofindashadowandsightillhecome。CELIAAndI’llsleep。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterJAQUES，Lords，andForestersJAQUESWhichishethatkilledthedeer？ALordSir，itwasI。JAQUESLet’spresenthimtotheduke，likeaRomanconqueror；anditwoulddowelltosetthedeer’shornsuponhishead，forabranchofvictory。Haveyounosong，forester，forthispurpose？ForesterYes，sir。JAQUESSingit：’tisnomatterhowitbeintune，soitmakenoiseenough。
　　SONG。ForesterWhatshallhehavethatkill’dthedeer？
　　Hisleatherskinandhornstowear。
　　Thensinghimhome；
　　TherestshallbearthisburdenTakethounoscorntowearthehorn；
　　Itwasacresterethouwastborn：
　　Thyfather’sfatherworeit，Andthyfatherboreit：
　　Thehorn，thehorn，thelustyhornIsnotathingtolaughtoscorn。
　　ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterROSALINDandCELIAROSALINDHowsayyounow？Isitnotpasttwoo’clock？
　　andheremuchOrlando！CELIAIwarrantyou，withpureloveandtroubledbrain，hehathta’enhisbowandarrowsandisgoneforthtosleep。Look，whocomeshere。
　　EnterSILVIUSSILVIUSMyerrandistoyou，fairyouth；
　　MygentlePhebebidmegiveyouthis：
　　Iknownotthecontents；but，asIguessBythesternbrowandwaspishactionWhichshediduseasshewaswritingofit，Itbearsanangrytenor：pardonme：
　　Iambutasaguiltlessmessenger。ROSALINDPatienceherselfwouldstartleatthisletterAndplaytheswaggerer；bearthis，bearall：
　　ShesaysIamnotfair，thatIlackmanners；
　　Shecallsmeproud，andthatshecouldnotloveme，Weremanasrareasphoenix。’Od’smywill！
　　HerloveisnottheharethatIdohunt：
　　Whywritesshesotome？Well，shepherd，well，Thisisaletterofyourowndevice。SILVIUSNo，Iprotest，Iknownotthecontents：
　　Phebedidwriteit。ROSALINDCome，come，youareafoolAndturn’dintotheextremityoflove。
　　Isawherhand：shehasaleathernhand。
　　Afreestone-colour’dhand；IverilydidthinkThatheroldgloveswereon，but’twasherhands：
　　Shehasahuswife’shand；butthat’snomatter：
　　Isaysheneverdidinventthisletter；
　　Thisisaman’sinventionandhishand。SILVIUSSure，itishers。ROSALINDWhy，’tisaboisterousandacruelstyle。
　　Astylefor-challengers；why，shedefiesme，LikeTurktoChristian：women’sgentlebrainCouldnotdropforthsuchgiant-rudeinventionSuchEthiopewords，blackerintheireffectThanintheircountenance。Willyouheartheletter？SILVIUSSopleaseyou，forIneverheardityet；
　　YetheardtoomuchofPhebe’scruelty。ROSALINDShePhebesme：markhowthetyrantwrites。
　　ReadsArtthougodtoshepherdturn’d，Thatamaiden’shearthathburn’d？
　　Canawomanrailthus？SILVIUSCallyouthisrailing？ROSALIND[Reads]
　　Why，thygodheadlaidapart，Warr’stthouwithawoman’sheart？
　　Didyoueverhearsuchrailing？
　　Whilestheeyeofmandidwoome，Thatcoulddonovengeancetome。
　　Meaningmeabeast。
　　IfthescornofyourbrighteyneHavepowertoraisesuchloveinmine，Alack，inmewhatstrangeeffectWouldtheyworkinmildaspect！
　　Whilesyouchidme，Ididlove；
　　Howthenmightyourprayersmove！
　　HethatbringsthislovetotheeLittleknowsthisloveinme：
　　Andbyhimsealupthymind；
　　WhetherthatthyyouthandkindWillthefaithfuloffertakeOfmeandallthatIcanmake；
　　Orelsebyhimmylovedeny，AndthenI’llstudyhowtodie。SILVIUSCallyouthischiding？CELIAAlas，poorshepherd！ROSALINDDoyoupityhim？no，hedeservesnopity。
　　Wiltthoulovesuchawoman？What，tomaketheeaninstrumentandplayfalsestrainsuponthee！nottobeendured！Well，goyourwaytoher，forIseelovehathmadetheeatamesnake，andsaythistoher：thatifsheloveme，Ichargehertolovethee；ifshewillnot，Iwillneverhaveherunlessthouentreatforher。Ifyoubeatruelover，hence，andnotaword；forherecomesmorecompany。
　　ExitSILVIUS
　　EnterOLIVEROLIVERGoodmorrow，fairones：prayyou，ifyouknow，WhereinthepurlieusofthisforeststandsAsheep-cotefencedaboutwitholivetrees？CELIAWestofthisplace，downintheneighbourbottom：
　　TherankofosiersbythemurmuringstreamLeftonyourrighthandbringsyoutotheplace。
　　Butatthishourthehousedothkeepitself；
　　There’snonewithin。OLIVERIfthataneyemayprofitbyatongue，ThenshouldIknowyoubydescription；
　　Suchgarmentsandsuchyears：’Theboyisfair，Offemalefavour，andbestowshimselfLikearipesister：thewomanlowAndbrownerthanherbrother。’ArenotyouTheownerofthehouseIdidinquirefor？CELIAItisnoboast，beingask’d，tosayweare。OLIVEROrlandodothcommendhimtoyouboth，AndtothatyouthhecallshisRosalindHesendsthisbloodynapkin。Areyouhe？ROSALINDIam：whatmustweunderstandbythis？OLIVERSomeofmyshame；ifyouwillknowofmeWhatmanIam，andhow，andwhy，andwhereThishandkercherwasstain’d。CELIAIprayyou，tellit。OLIVERWhenlasttheyoungOrlandopartedfromyouHeleftapromisetoreturnagainWithinanhour，andpacingthroughtheforest，Chewingthefoodofsweetandbitterfancy，Lo，whatbefell！hethrewhiseyeaside，Andmarkwhatobjectdidpresentitself：
　　Underanoak，whoseboughsweremoss’dwithageAndhightopbaldwithdryantiquity，Awretchedraggedman，o’ergrownwithhair，Laysleepingonhisback：abouthisneckAgreenandgildedsnakehadwreatheditself，Whowithherheadnimbleinthreatsapproach’dTheopeningofhismouth；butsuddenly，SeeingOrlando，itunlink’ditself，AndwithindentedglidesdidslipawayIntoabush：underwhichbush’sshadeAlioness，withuddersalldrawndry，Laycouching，headonground，withcatlikewatch，Whenthatthesleepingmanshouldstir；for’tisTheroyaldispositionofthatbeastTopreyonnothingthatdothseemasdead：
　　Thisseen，OrlandodidapproachthemanAndfounditwashisbrother，hiselderbrother。CELIAO，Ihaveheardhimspeakofthatsamebrother；
　　AndhedidrenderhimthemostunnaturalThatlivedamongstmen。OLIVERAndwellhemightsodo，ForwellIknowhewasunnatural。ROSALINDBut，toOrlando：didheleavehimthere，Foodtothesuck’dandhungrylioness？OLIVERTwicedidheturnhisbackandpurposedso；
　　Butkindness，noblereverthanrevenge，Andnature，strongerthanhisjustoccasion，Madehimgivebattletothelioness，Whoquicklyfellbeforehim：inwhichhurtlingFrommiserableslumberIawaked。CELIAAreyouhisbrother？ROSALINDWastyouherescued？CELIAWas’tyouthatdidsooftcontrivetokillhim？OLIVER’TwasI；but’tisnotIIdonotshameTotellyouwhatIwas，sincemyconversionSosweetlytastes，beingthethingIam。ROSALINDBut，forthebloodynapkin？OLIVERByandby。
　　WhenfromthefirsttolastbetwixtustwoTearsourrecountmentshadmostkindlybathed，AshowIcameintothatdesertplace：——
　　Inbrief，heledmetothegentleduke，Whogavemefresharrayandentertainment，Committingmeuntomybrother’slove；
　　Wholedmeinstantlyuntohiscave，Therestripp’dhimself，andhereuponhisarmThelionesshadtornsomefleshaway，Whichallthiswhilehadbled；andnowhefaintedAndcried，infainting，uponRosalind。
　　Brief，Irecover’dhim，bounduphiswound；
　　And，aftersomesmallspace，beingstrongatheart，Hesentmehither，strangerasIam，Totellthisstory，thatyoumightexcuseHisbrokenpromise，andtogivethisnapkinDyedinhisblooduntotheshepherdyouthThatheinsportdothcallhisRosalind。
　　ROSALINDswoonsCELIAWhy，hownow，Ganymede！sweetGanymede！OLIVERManywillswoonwhentheydolookonblood。CELIAThereismoreinit。CousinGanymede！OLIVERLook，herecovers。ROSALINDIwouldIwereathome。CELIAWe’llleadyouthither。
　　Iprayyou，willyoutakehimbythearm？OLIVERBeofgoodcheer，youth：youaman！youlackaman’sheart。ROSALINDIdoso，Iconfessit。Ah，sirrah，abodywouldthinkthiswaswellcounterfeited！Iprayyou，tellyourbrotherhowwellIcounterfeited。Heigh-ho！OLIVERThiswasnotcounterfeit：thereistoogreattestimonyinyourcomplexionthatitwasapassionofearnest。ROSALINDCounterfeit，Iassureyou。OLIVERWellthen，takeagoodheartandcounterfeittobeaman。ROSALINDSoIdo：but，i’faith，Ishouldhavebeenawomanbyright。CELIACome，youlookpalerandpaler：prayyou，drawhomewards。Goodsir，gowithus。OLIVERThatwillI，forImustbearanswerbackHowyouexcusemybrother，Rosalind。ROSALINDIshalldevisesomething：but，Iprayyou，commendmycounterfeitingtohim。Willyougo？
　　ExeuntACTVSCENEI。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYTOUCHSTONEWeshallfindatime，Audrey；patience，gentleAudrey。AUDREYFaith，thepriestwasgoodenough，foralltheoldgentleman’ssaying。TOUCHSTONEAmostwickedSirOliver，Audrey，amostvileMartext。But，Audrey，thereisayouthhereintheforestlaysclaimtoyou。AUDREYAy，Iknowwho’tis；hehathnointerestinmeintheworld：herecomesthemanyoumean。TOUCHSTONEItismeatanddrinktometoseeaclown：
　　bymytroth，wethathavegoodwitshavemuchtoanswerfor；weshallbeflouting；wecannothold。
　　EnterWILLIAMWILLIAMGoodeven，Audrey。AUDREYGodyegoodeven，William。WILLIAMAndgoodeventoyou，sir。TOUCHSTONEGoodeven，gentlefriend。Coverthyhead，coverthyhead；nay，prithee，becovered。Howoldareyou，friend？WILLIAMFiveandtwenty，sir。TOUCHSTONEAripeage。IsthynameWilliam？WILLIAMWilliam，sir。TOUCHSTONEAfairname。Wastborni’theforesthere？WILLIAMAy，sir，IthankGod。TOUCHSTONE’ThankGod；’agoodanswer。Artrich？WILLIAMFaith，sir，soso。TOUCHSTONE’Soso’isgood，verygood，veryexcellentgood；andyetitisnot；itisbutsoso。Artthouwise？WILLIAMAy，sir，Ihaveaprettywit。TOUCHSTONEWhy，thousayestwell。Idonowrememberasaying，’Thefooldoththinkheiswise，butthewisemanknowshimselftobeafool。’Theheathenphilosopher，whenhehadadesiretoeatagrape，wouldopenhislipswhenheputitintohismouth；
　　meaningtherebythatgrapesweremadetoeatandlipstoopen。Youdolovethismaid？WILLIAMIdo，sir。TOUCHSTONEGivemeyourhand。Artthoulearned？WILLIAMNo，sir。TOUCHSTONEThenlearnthisofme：tohave，istohave；foritisafigureinrhetoricthatdrink，beingpouredoutofacupintoaglass，byfillingtheonedothemptytheother；forallyourwritersdoconsentthatipseishe：now，youarenotipse，forIamhe。WILLIAMWhichhe，sir？TOUCHSTONEHe，sir，thatmustmarrythiswoman。Therefore，youclown，abandon，——whichisinthevulgarleave，——thesociety，——whichintheboorishiscompany，——ofthisfemale，——whichinthecommoniswoman；whichtogetheris，abandonthesocietyofthisfemale，or，clown，thouperishest；or，tothybetterunderstanding，diest；or，towitIkillthee，maketheeaway，translatethylifeintodeath，thylibertyintobondage：Iwilldealinpoisonwiththee，orinbastinado，orinsteel；Iwillbandywiththeeinfaction；Iwillo’erruntheewithpolicy；Iwillkilltheeahundredandfiftyways：
　　thereforetrembleanddepart。AUDREYDo，goodWilliam。WILLIAMGodrestyoumerry，sir。
　　ExitEnterCORINCORINOurmasterandmistressseeksyou；come，away，away！TOUCHSTONETrip，Audrey！trip，Audrey！Iattend，Iattend。
　　ExeuntSCENEII。Theforest。EnterORLANDOandOLIVERORLANDOIs’tpossiblethatonsolittleacquaintanceyoushouldlikeher？thatbutseeingyoushouldloveher？andlovingwoo？and，wooing，sheshouldgrant？andwillyoupersevertoenjoyher？OLIVERNeithercallthegiddinessofitinquestion，thepovertyofher，thesmallacquaintance，mysuddenwooing，norhersuddenconsenting；butsaywithme，IloveAliena；saywithherthatshelovesme；
　　consentwithboththatwemayenjoyeachother：
　　itshallbetoyourgood；formyfather’shouseandalltherevenuethatwasoldSirRowland’swillI
　　estateuponyou，andhereliveanddieashepherd。ORLANDOYouhavemyconsent。Letyourweddingbeto-morrow：
　　thitherwillIinvitethedukeandall’scontentedfollowers。GoyouandprepareAliena；forlookyou，herecomesmyRosalind。
　　EnterROSALINDROSALINDGodsaveyou，brother。OLIVERAndyou，fairsister。
　　ExitROSALINDO，mydearOrlando，howitgrievesmetoseetheewearthyheartinascarf！ORLANDOItismyarm。ROSALINDIthoughtthyhearthadbeenwoundedwiththeclawsofalion。ORLANDOWoundeditis，butwiththeeyesofalady。ROSALINDDidyourbrothertellyouhowIcounterfeitedtoswoonwhenheshowedmeyourhandkerchief？ORLANDOAy，andgreaterwondersthanthat。ROSALINDO，Iknowwhereyouare：nay，’tistrue：
　　therewasneveranythingsosuddenbutthefightoftworamsandCaesar’sthrasonicalbragof’Icame，saw，andovercame：’foryourbrotherandmysisternosoonermetbuttheylooked，nosoonerlookedbuttheyloved，nosoonerlovedbuttheysighed，nosoonersighedbuttheyaskedoneanotherthereason，nosoonerknewthereasonbuttheysoughttheremedy；
　　andinthesedegreeshavetheymadeapairofstairstomarriagewhichtheywillclimbincontinent，orelsebeincontinentbeforemarriage：theyareintheverywrathofloveandtheywilltogether；
　　clubscannotpartthem。ORLANDOTheyshallbemarriedto-morrow，andI
　　willbidtheduketothenuptial。But，O，howbitterathingitistolookintohappinessthroughanotherman’seyes！BysomuchthemoreshallIto-morrowbeattheheightofheart-heaviness，byhowmuchIshallthinkmybrotherhappyinhavingwhathewishesfor。ROSALINDWhythen，to-morrowIcannotserveyourturnforRosalind？ORLANDOIcanlivenolongerbythinking。ROSALINDIwillwearyyouthennolongerwithidletalking。
　　Knowofmethen，fornowIspeaktosomepurpose，thatIknowyouareagentlemanofgoodconceit：
　　I
　　speaknotthisthatyoushouldbearagoodopinionofmyknowledge，insomuchIsayIknowyouare；
　　neitherdoIlabourforagreateresteemthanmayinsomelittlemeasuredrawabelieffromyou，todoyourselfgoodandnottograceme。Believethen，ifyouplease，thatIcandostrangethings：Ihave，sinceIwasthreeyearold，conversedwithamagician，mostprofoundinhisartandyetnotdamnable。IfyoudoloveRosalindsoneartheheartasyourgesturecriesitout，whenyourbrothermarriesAliena，shallyoumarryher：Iknowintowhatstraitsoffortunesheisdriven；anditisnotimpossibletome，ifitappearnotinconvenienttoyou，tosetherbeforeyoureyestomorrowhumanassheisandwithoutanydanger。ORLANDOSpeakestthouinsobermeanings？ROSALINDBymylife，Ido；whichItenderdearly，thoughI
　　sayIamamagician。Therefore，putyouinyourbestarray：bidyourfriends；forifyouwillbemarriedto-morrow，youshall，andtoRosalind，ifyouwill。
　　EnterSILVIUSandPHEBE
　　Look，herecomesaloverofmineandaloverofhers。PHEBEYouth，youhavedonememuchungentleness，ToshowtheletterthatIwrittoyou。ROSALINDIcarenotifIhave：itismystudyToseemdespitefulandungentletoyou：
　　Youaretherefollowedbyafaithfulshepherd；
　　Lookuponhim，lovehim；heworshipsyou。PHEBEGoodshepherd，tellthisyouthwhat’tistolove。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeofsighsandtears；
　　AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndIfornowoman。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeoffaithandservice；
　　AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndIfornowoman。SILVIUSItistobeallmadeoffantasy，Allmadeofpassionandallmadeofwishes，Alladoration，duty，andobservance，Allhumbleness，allpatienceandimpatience，Allpurity，alltrial，allobservance；
　　AndsoamIforPhebe。PHEBEAndsoamIforGanymede。ORLANDOAndsoamIforRosalind。ROSALINDAndsoamIfornowoman。PHEBEIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？SILVIUSIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？ORLANDOIfthisbeso，whyblameyoumetoloveyou？ROSALINDWhodoyouspeakto，’Whyblameyoumetoloveyou？’ORLANDOToherthatisnothere，nordothnothear。ROSALINDPrayyou，nomoreofthis；’tislikethehowlingofIrishwolvesagainstthemoon。
　　ToSILVIUS
　　Iwillhelpyou，ifIcan：
　　ToPHEBE
　　Iwouldloveyou，ifIcould。To-morrowmeetmealltogether。
　　ToPHEBE
　　Iwillmarryyou，ifeverImarrywoman，andI’llbemarriedto-morrow：
　　ToORLANDO
　　Iwillsatisfyyou，ifeverIsatisfiedman，andyoushallbemarriedto-morrow：
　　ToSILVIUS
　　Iwillcontentyou，ifwhatpleasesyoucontentsyou，andyoushallbemarriedto-morrow。
　　ToORLANDO
　　AsyouloveRosalind，meet：
　　ToSILVIUS
　　asyoulovePhebe，meet：andasIlovenowoman，I’llmeet。Sofareyouwell：Ihaveleftyoucommands。SILVIUSI’llnotfail，ifIlive。PHEBENorI。ORLANDONorI。
　　ExeuntSCENEIII。Theforest。EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYTOUCHSTONETo-morrowisthejoyfulday，Audrey；to-morrowwillwebemarried。AUDREYIdodesireitwithallmyheart；andI
　　hopeitisnodishonestdesiretodesiretobeawomanoftheworld。Herecomestwoofthebanishedduke’spages。
　　EntertwoPagesFirstPageWellmet，honestgentleman。TOUCHSTONEBymytroth，wellmet。Come，sit，sit，andasong。SecondPageWeareforyou：siti’themiddle。FirstPageShallweclapinto’troundly，withouthawkingorspittingorsayingwearehoarse，whicharetheonlyprologuestoabadvoice？SecondPageI’faith，i’faith；andbothinatune，liketwogipsiesonahorse。
　　SONG。
　　Itwasaloverandhislass，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino，Thato’erthegreencorn-fielddidpassInthespringtime，theonlyprettyringtime，Whenbirdsdosing，heydingading，ding：
　　Sweetloverslovethespring。
　　Betweentheacresoftherye，Withahey，andaho，andaheynoninoTheseprettycountryfolkswouldlie，Inspringtime，&；c。
　　Thiscaroltheybeganthathour，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino，HowthatalifewasbutaflowerInspringtime，&；c。
　　Andthereforetakethepresenttime，Withahey，andaho，andaheynonino；
　　ForloveiscrownedwiththeprimeInspringtime，&；c。TOUCHSTONETruly，younggentlemen，thoughtherewasnogreatmatterintheditty，yetthenotewasveryuntuneable。FirstPageYouaredeceived，sir：wekepttime，welostnotourtime。TOUCHSTONEBymytroth，yes；Icountitbuttimelosttohearsuchafoolishsong。Godbewi’you；andGodmendyourvoices！Come，Audrey。
　　ExeuntSCENEIV。Theforest。EnterDUKESENIOR，AMIENS，JAQUES，ORLANDO，OLIVER，andCELIADUKESENIORDostthoubelieve，Orlando，thattheboyCandoallthisthathehathpromised？ORLANDOIsometimesdobelieve，andsometimesdonot；
　　Asthosethatfeartheyhope，andknowtheyfear。
　　EnterROSALIND，SILVIUS，andPHEBEROSALINDPatienceoncemore，whilesourcompactisurged：
　　Yousay，ifIbringinyourRosalind，YouwillbestowheronOrlandohere？DUKESENIORThatwouldI，hadIkingdomstogivewithher。ROSALINDAndyousay，youwillhaveher，whenI
　　bringher？ORLANDOThatwouldI，wereIofallkingdomsking。ROSALINDYousay，you’llmarryme，ifIbewilling？PHEBEThatwillI，shouldIdiethehourafter。ROSALINDButifyoudorefusetomarryme，You’llgiveyourselftothismostfaithfulshepherd？PHEBESoisthebargain。ROSALINDYousay，thatyou’llhavePhebe，ifshewill？SILVIUSThoughtohaveheranddeathwerebothonething。ROSALINDIhavepromisedtomakeallthismattereven。
　　Keepyouyourword，Oduke，togiveyourdaughter；
　　Youyours，Orlando，toreceivehisdaughter：
　　Keepyourword，Phebe，thatyou’llmarryme，Orelserefusingme，towedthisshepherd：
　　Keepyourword，Silvius，thatyou’llmarryher。
　　Ifsherefuseme：andfromhenceIgo，Tomakethesedoubtsalleven。
　　ExeuntROSALINDandCELIADUKESENIORIdorememberinthisshepherdboySomelivelytouchesofmydaughter’sfavour。ORLANDOMylord，thefirsttimethatIeversawhimMethoughthewasabrothertoyourdaughter：
　　But，mygoodlord，thisboyisforest-born，Andhathbeentutor’dintherudimentsOfmanydesperatestudiesbyhisuncle，Whomhereportstobeagreatmagician，Obscuredinthecircleofthisforest。
　　EnterTOUCHSTONEandAUDREYJAQUESThereis，sure，anotherfloodtoward，andthesecouplesarecomingtotheark。Herecomesapairofverystrangebeasts，whichinalltonguesarecalledfools。TOUCHSTONESalutationandgreetingtoyouall！JAQUESGoodmylord，bidhimwelcome：thisisthemotley-mindedgentlemanthatIhavesooftenmetintheforest：hehathbeenacourtier，heswears。TOUCHSTONEIfanymandoubtthat，lethimputmetomypurgation。Ihavetrodameasure；Ihaveflatteredalady；Ihavebeenpoliticwithmyfriend，smoothwithmineenemy；Ihaveundonethreetailors；
　　Ihavehadfourquarrels，andliketohavefoughtone。JAQUESAndhowwasthatta’enup？TOUCHSTONEFaith，wemet，andfoundthequarrelwasupontheseventhcause。JAQUESHowseventhcause？Goodmylord，likethisfellow。DUKESENIORIlikehimverywell。TOUCHSTONEGod’ildyou，sir；Idesireyouofthelike。I
　　pressinhere，sir，amongsttherestofthecountrycopulatives，toswearandtoforswear：accordingasmarriagebindsandbloodbreaks：apoorvirgin，sir，anill-favouredthing，sir，butmineown；
　　apoorhumourofmine，sir，totakethatthatnomanelsewill：richhonestydwellslikeamiser，sir，inapoorhouse；asyourpearlinyourfouloyster。DUKESENIORBymyfaith，heisveryswiftandsententious。TOUCHSTONEAccordingtothefool’sbolt，sir，andsuchdulcetdiseases。JAQUESBut，fortheseventhcause；howdidyoufindthequarrelontheseventhcause？TOUCHSTONEUponalieseventimesremoved：——bearyourbodymoreseeming，Audrey：——asthus，sir。Ididdislikethecutofacertaincourtier’sbeard：hesentmeword，ifIsaidhisbeardwasnotcutwell，hewasintheminditwas：thisiscalledtheRetortCourteous。
　　IfIsenthimwordagain’itwasnotwellcut，’
　　hewouldsendmeword，hecutittopleasehimself：
　　thisiscalledtheQuipModest。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hedisabledmyjudgment：thisiscalledtheReplyChurlish。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hewouldanswer，Ispakenottrue：
　　thisiscalledtheReproofValiant。Ifagain’itwasnotwellcut，’hewouldsayIlied：thisiscalledtheCounter-chequeQuarrelsome：andsototheLieCircumstantialandtheLieDirect。JAQUESAndhowoftdidyousayhisbeardwasnotwellcut？TOUCHSTONEIdurstgonofurtherthantheLieCircumstantial，norhedurstnotgivemetheLieDirect；andsowemeasuredswordsandparted。JAQUESCanyounominateinordernowthedegreesofthelie？TOUCHSTONEOsir，wequarrelinprint，bythebook；
　　asyouhavebooksforgoodmanners：Iwillnameyouthedegrees。
　　Thefirst，theRetortCourteous；thesecond，theQuipModest；thethird，theReplyChurlish；thefourth，theReproofValiant；thefifth，theCounterchequeQuarrelsome；thesixth，theLiewithCircumstance；theseventh，theLieDirect。AlltheseyoumayavoidbuttheLieDirect；andyoumayavoidthattoo，withanIf。Iknewwhensevenjusticescouldnottakeupaquarrel，butwhenthepartiesweremetthemselves，oneofthemthoughtbutofanIf，as，’Ifyousaidso，thenIsaidso；’
　　andtheyshookhandsandsworebrothers。YourIfistheonlypeacemaker；muchvirtueinIf。JAQUESIsnotthisararefellow，mylord？he’sasgoodatanythingandyetafool。DUKESENIORHeuseshisfollylikeastalking-horseandunderthepresentationofthatheshootshiswit。
　　EnterHYMEN，ROSALIND，andCELIA
　　StillMusicHYMENThenistheremirthinheaven，WhenearthlythingsmadeevenAtonetogether。
　　Goodduke，receivethydaughterHymenfromheavenbroughther，Yea，broughtherhither，ThatthoumightstjoinherhandwithhisWhoseheartwithinhisbosomis。ROSALIND[ToDUKESENIOR]ToyouIgivemyself，forIamyours。
　　ToORLANDO
　　ToyouIgivemyself，forIamyours。DUKESENIORIftherebetruthinsight，youaremydaughter。ORLANDOIftherebetruthinsight，youaremyRosalind。PHEBEIfsightandshapebetrue，Whythen，myloveadieu！ROSALINDI’llhavenofather，ifyoubenothe：
　　I’llhavenohusband，ifyoubenothe：
　　Norne’erwedwoman，ifyoubenotshe。HYMENPeace，ho！Ibarconfusion：
　　’TisImustmakeconclusionOfthesemoststrangeevents：
　　Here’seightthatmusttakehandsTojoininHymen’sbands，Iftruthholdstruecontents。
　　Youandyounocrossshallpart：
　　YouandyouareheartinheartYoutohislovemustaccord，Orhaveawomantoyourlord：
　　Youandyouaresuretogether，Asthewintertofoulweather。
　　Whilesawedlock-hymnwesing，Feedyourselveswithquestioning；
　　Thatreasonwondermaydiminish，Howthuswemet，andthesethingsfinish。
　　SONG。
　　WeddingisgreatJuno’scrown：
　　Oblessedbondofboardandbed！
　　’TisHymenpeopleseverytown；
　　Highwedlockthenbehonoured：
　　Honour，highhonourandrenown，ToHymen，godofeverytown！DUKESENIOROmydearniece，welcomethouarttome！
　　Evendaughter，welcome，innolessdegree。PHEBEIwillnoteatmyword，nowthouartmine；
　　Thyfaithmyfancytotheedothcombine。
　　EnterJAQUESDEBOYSJAQUESDEBOYSLetmehaveaudienceforawordortwo：
　　IamthesecondsonofoldSirRowland，Thatbringthesetidingstothisfairassembly。
　　DukeFrederick，hearinghowthateverydayMenofgreatworthresortedtothisforest，Address’damightypower；whichwereonfoot，Inhisownconduct，purposelytotakeHisbrotherhereandputhimtothesword：
　　Andtotheskirtsofthiswildwoodhecame；
　　Wheremeetingwithanoldreligiousman，Aftersomequestionwithhim，wasconvertedBothfromhisenterpriseandfromtheworld，Hiscrownbequeathingtohisbanish’dbrother，AndalltheirlandsrestoredtothemagainThatwerewithhimexiled。Thistobetrue，Idoengagemylife。DUKESENIORWelcome，youngman；
　　Thouoffer’stfairlytothybrothers’wedding：
　　Toonehislandswithheld，andtotheotherAlanditselfatlarge，apotentdukedom。
　　First，inthisforest，letusdothoseendsThatherewerewellbegunandwellbegot：
　　Andafter，everyofthishappynumberThathaveenduredshrewddaysandnightswithusShallsharethegoodofourreturnedfortune，Accordingtothemeasureoftheirstates。
　　Meantime，forgetthisnew-fall’ndignityAndfallintoourrusticrevelry。
　　Play，music！Andyou，bridesandbridegroomsall，Withmeasureheap’dinjoy，tothemeasuresfall。JAQUESSir，byyourpatience。IfIheardyourightly，ThedukehathputonareligiouslifeAndthrownintoneglectthepompouscourt？JAQUESDEBOYSHehath。JAQUESTohimwillI：outoftheseconvertitesThereismuchmattertobeheardandlearn’d。
　　ToDUKESENIOR
　　YoutoyourformerhonourIbequeath；
　　Yourpatienceandyourvirtuewelldeservesit：
　　ToORLANDO
　　Youtoalovethatyourtruefaithdothmerit：
　　ToOLIVER
　　Youtoyourlandandloveandgreatallies：
　　ToSILVIUS
　　Youtoalongandwell-deservedbed：
　　ToTOUCHSTONE
　　Andyoutowrangling；forthylovingvoyageIsbutfortwomonthsvictuall’d。So，toyourpleasures：
　　Iamforotherthanfordancingmeasures。DUKESENIORStay，Jaques，stay。JAQUESToseenopastimeIwhatyouwouldhaveI’llstaytoknowatyourabandon’dcave。
　　ExitDUKESENIORProceed，proceed：wewillbegintheserites，Aswedotrustthey’llend，intruedelights。
　　AdanceEPILOGUEROSALINDItisnotthefashiontoseetheladytheepilogue；
　　butitisnomoreunhandsomethantoseethelordtheprologue。Ifitbetruethatgoodwineneedsnobush，’tistruethatagoodplayneedsnoepilogue；yettogoodwinetheydousegoodbushes，andgoodplaysprovethebetterbythehelpofgoodepilogues。WhatacaseamIinthen，thatamneitheragoodepiloguenorcannotinsinuatewithyouinthebehalfofagoodplay！Iamnotfurnishedlikeabeggar，thereforetobegwillnotbecomeme：mywayistoconjureyou；andI’llbeginwiththewomen。Ichargeyou，Owomen，fortheloveyoubeartomen，tolikeasmuchofthisplayaspleaseyou：andIchargeyou，Omen，fortheloveyoubeartowomen——asIperceivebyyoursimpering，noneofyouhatesthem——thatbetweenyouandthewomentheplaymayplease。IfIwereawomanI
　　wouldkissasmanyofyouashadbeardsthatpleasedme，complexionsthatlikedmeandbreathsthatI
　　defiednot：and，Iamsure，asmanyashavegoodbeardsorgoodfacesorsweetbreathswill，formykindoffer，whenImakecurtsy，bidmefarewell。