AMPH。How？
　　ALC。Hereitis。
　　AMPH。Sosie！
　　SOS。Sheisjesting：Ihaveithere；Monsieur，thefeintisuseless。
　　AMPH。Thesealiswhole。
　　ALC。Isitavision？There。Willyouthinkthisproofstrongenough？
　　AMPH。AhHeaven！OjustHeaven！
　　ALC。Come，Amphitryon，youarejokinginactingthus：yououghttobeashamedofit。
　　AMPH。Breakthisseal，quickly。
　　SOS。（Havingopenedthecasket。）Uponmyword，thecasketisempty。
　　Itmusthavebeentakenoutbywitchcraft，orelseitcamebyitselfaguide，toherwhomitknewitwasintendedtoadorn。
　　AMPH。OGods，whosepowergovernsallthings，whatisthisadventure？WhatcanIaugurfromitthatdoesnotclutchatmyheart？
　　SOS。Ifshespeaksthetruth，wehavethesamelot，and，likeme，Monsieur，youaredouble。
　　AMPH。Besilent。
　　ALC。Whyareyousosurprised？Whatcausesallthisconfusion？
　　AMPH。OHeaven！Whatstrangeperplexity！IseeincidentswhichsurpassNature，andmyhonourfearsanadventurewhichmyminddoesnotunderstand。
　　ALC。Doyoustillwishtodenyyourhastyreturn，whenyouhavethissensibleproofofit？
　　AMPH。No；butifitbepossible，deigntotellmewhatpassedatthisreturn。
　　ALC。Sinceyouaskanaccountofthematter，youstillsayitwasnotyou？
　　AMPH。Pardonme；butIhaveacertainreasonwhichmakesmeaskyoutogiveusthisaccount。
　　ALC。Havetheimportantcareswhichperhapsengrossyoumadeyousoquicklylosetheremembranceofit？
　　AMPH。Perhaps；but，inshort，youwouldpleasemebytellingmethewholestory。
　　ALC。Thestoryisnotlong。Iadvancedtowardsyoufullofadelightedsurprise；Iembracedyoutenderly，andshowedmyjoymorethanonce。
　　AMPH。（tohimself。）Ah！Icouldhavedonewithoutsosweetawelcome。
　　ALC。Youfirstmademethisvaluablegift，whichyoudestinedformefromthespoilsoftheconquered。Yourheartvehementlyunfoldedtomealltheviolenceofitslove，andtheannoyingdutieswhichhadkeptitenchained，thehappinessofseeingmeagain，thetormentsofabsence，allthecarewhichyourimpatiencetoreturnhadgivenyou；
　　neverhasyourlove，onsimilaroccasions，seemedtomesotenderandsopassionate。
　　AMPH。（tohimself。）Canonebemorecruellytortured？
　　ALC。Asyoumaywellbelieve，thesetransportsandthistendernessdidnotdispleaseme；ifImustconfessit，Amphitryon，myheartfoundathousandcharmsinthem。
　　AMPH。Whatfollowed，pray？
　　ALC。Weinterruptedeachotherwithathousandquestionsconcerningeachother。Thetablewaslaid。Wesuppedtogetherbyourselves；
　　and，supperover，wewenttobed。
　　AMPH。Together？
　　ALC。Assuredly。Whataquestion？
　　AMPH。Ah；thisisthemostcruelstrokeofall；myjealouspassiontrembledtoassureitselfofthis。
　　ALC。Whydoyoublushsodeeplyataword？HaveIdonesomethingwrongingoingtobedwithyou？
　　AMPH。No，tomygreatmisery，itwasnotI；whoeversaysIwashereyesterday，tells，ofallfalsehoods，themosthorrible。
　　ALC。Amphitryon！
　　AMPH。Perfidiouswoman！
　　ALC。Ah！Whatmadnessisthis！
　　AMPH。No，no；nomoresweetness，nomorerespect；thisrebuffputsanendtoallmyconstancy；atthisghastlymoment，myheartbreathesonlyfuryand，vengeance。
　　ALC。Onwhomthenwouldyoubeavenged？Whatwantoffaithinmemakesyoutreatmenowasacriminal？
　　AMPH。Idonotknow，butitwasnotI；thisdespairmakesmecapableofanything。
　　ALC。Awayunworthyhusband，thedeedspeaksforitself，theimpostureisfrightful。Itistoogreataninsulttoaccusemeofinfidelity。Iftheseconfusedtransportsmeanthatyouseekapretexttobreakthenuptialbondswhichholdmeenchainedtoyou，allthesepretencesaresuperfluous，forIamdeterminedthatthisdayallourtiesshallbebroken。
　　AMPH。Aftertheunworthyaffront，whichInowlearnhasbeendoneme，thatisindeedwhatyoumustprepareyourselffor；itistheleastthatcanbeexpected；andthingsmaynotperhapsremainthere。
　　Thedishonourissure；mymiseryismadeplaintome；andmyprideinvainwouldhideitfromme。Thedetailsarestillnotclear：MyangerisjustandIclaimtobeenlightened。YourbrothercanpositivelyavouchthatIdidnotleavehimuntilthismorning：I
　　willgoandseekhim，inorderthatImayconfoundyouaboutthereturnfalselyimputedtome。Afterwards，wewillpenetratetothebottomofamysteryunheardofuntilnow；and，inthefuryofarighteousanger，woetohimwhohasbetrayedme！
　　SOS。Monsieur……
　　AMPH。Donotaccompanyme，butremainhereforme。
　　CLE。MustI……？
　　ALC。Icannothearanything：leavemealone：donotfollowme。
　　SCENEIII
　　CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
　　CLE。Somethingmusthaveturnedhisbrain；butthebrotherwillsoonfinishthisquarrel。
　　SOS。Thisisaverysharpblowformymaster；hisfateiscruel。I
　　greatlyfearsomethingcomingformyself。Iwillgosoftlyinenlighteningher。
　　CLE。Letmeseewhetherhewillsomuchasspeaktome！Iwillnotrevealanything。
　　SOS。Thesethingsareoftenannoyingwhenoneknowsaboutthem：I
　　hesitatetoaskher。Woulditnotbebetternottoriskanything，andtoignorewhatmayhavehappened？Yet，atallhazard，Imustsee。Icannothelpmyself。Curiosityconcerningthingswhichonewouldrathernotknowisahumanweakness。Heavenpreserveyou，Cleanthis！
　　CLE。Ah！Ah！Youdaretocomenearme，youvillain！
　　SOS。GoodHeavens！Whatisthematterwithyou？Youarealwaysinatemper，andbecomeangryaboutnothing！
　　CLE。Whatdoyoucallaboutnothing？Speakout。
　　SOS。Icallaboutnothingwhatiscalledaboutnothinginverseaswellasinprose；andnothing，asyouwellknow，meanstosaynothing，orverylittle。
　　CLE。Idonotknowwhatkeepsmefromscratchingyoureyesout，infamousrascal，toteachyouhowfartheangerofawomancango。
　　SOS。Hullo！Whatdoyoumeanbythisfuriousrage？
　　CLE。Thenyoucallthatnothing，perhaps，whichyouhavedonetome？
　　SOS。Whatwasthat？
　　CLE。So？Youfeigntobeinnocent？Doyoufollowtheexampleofyourmasterandsayyoudidnotreturnhere？
　　SOS。No，Iknowthecontrarytoowell；butIwillbefrankwithyou。
　　Wehaddrunksomewretchedwine，whichmighthavemademeforgetwhatIdid。
　　CLE。Youthink，perhaps，toexcuseyourselfbythistrick，……
　　SOS。No，intruthyoumaybelieveme。IwasinsuchaconditionthatImayhavedonethingsIshouldregret；Idonotrememberwhattheywere。
　　CLE。Youdonotevenrememberthemannerinwhichyouthoughtfittotreatmewhenyoucamefromtheport？
　　SOS。Notatall。Youhadbettertellmeallaboutit；Iamjustandsincere，andwouldcondemnmyselfwereIwrong。
　　CLE。Well？Amphitryonhavingwarnedmeofyourreturn，Isatupuntilyoucame；butIneversawsuchcoldness：Ihadmyselftoremindyouthatyouhadawife；and，whenIwantedtokissyou，you，turnedawayyourhead，andgavemeyourear。
　　SOS。Good。
　　CLE。Whatdoyoumeanbygood？
　　SOS。Goodgracious！YoudonotknowwhyItalklikethis，Cleanthis：
　　Ihadbeeneatinggarlic，and，likeawell-bredman，justturnedmybreathawayfromyou。
　　CLE。Ishowedyoueverypossibletenderness；butyouwereasdeafasaposttoeverythingIsaid；neverakindwordpassedyourlips。
　　SOS。Courage！
　　CLE。Inshort，myflamebadtoburnalone，itschasteardourdidnotfindanythinginyoubutice；youweretheculpritinareturnthatmighthavebeensodifferent：youevenwentsofarastorefusetotakeyourplaceinbed，whichthelawsofwedlockobligeyoutooccupy。
　　SOS。What？DidInotgotobed？
　　CLE。No，youcoward。
　　SOS。Isitpossible？
　　CLE。Itisbuttootrue，yourascal。Ofallaffrontsthisaffrontisthegreatest；and，insteadofyourheartrepairingitswrongthismorning，youleftmewithwordsfullofundisguisedcontempt。
　　SOS。VivatSosie！
　　CLE。Eh，what？Hasmycomplainthadthiseffect？Youlaughatyourfinegoingson？
　　SOS。HowpleasedIamwithmyself！
　　CLE。Isthisthewaytoexpressyourgriefatsuchanoutrage？
　　SOS。IshouldneverhavebelievedIcouldbesoprudent。
　　CLE。Insteadofcondemningyourselfforsuchaperfidioustrick，yourejoiceatittomyface！
　　SOS。Goodgracious！Gently，gently！IfIappearpleased，youmustbelievethatIhaveaverystrongprivatereasonforit；withoutthinkingofit，IneverdidbetterthaninusingyouinsuchamannerasIdid。
　　CLE。Areyoulaughingatme，youvillain？
　　SOS。No，Iamspeakingopenlytoyou。Iwasinawretchedstate。I
　　hadacertainload，whichyourwordshaveliftedfrommysoul。Iwasveryapprehensive，andfearedthatIhadplayedthefoolwithyou。
　　CLE。Whatisthisfear？Come，letusknowwhatyoumean。
　　SOS。Thedoctorssaythat，whenoneisdrunk，oneshouldabstainfromone’swife，for，inthatconditionwecanonlyhavechildrenwhoaredull，andwhocannotlive。Think，ifmyhearthadnotarmeditselfwithcoldness，whattroublesmighthavefollowed！
　　CLE。Idonotcareafigfordoctors，withtheirinsipidreasonings。
　　Letthemrulethosewhoaresickwithoutwishingtogovernhealthypeople。Theymeddlewithtoomanyaffairswhentheyseektoreininourchastedesires；inadditiontothedogdays，andtheirstrictrules，theytellusahundredridiculousstoriesintothebargain。
　　SOS。Gently。
　　CLE。No；Imaintaintheirsisaworthlessconclusion：thosereasonscomefromidioticbrains。Neitherwinenortimeoughttopreventthedutiesofconjugallovefrombeingfulfilled；doctorsaredonkeys。
　　SOS。Ientreatyou，moderateyourangeragainstthem；theyarehonestpeople，whatevertheworldmaysayofthem。
　　CLE。Thingsarenotwhatyouthinkthem；youcanshutup；yourexcusewillnotgodown；and，soonerorlater，Itellyouplainly，I
　　willavengemyselfforthecontemptyoushowmeeveryday。I
　　remembereverythingyousaidjustnow，andIshalltrytomakeuseofthelibertyyougaveme，Youfaithless，cowardlyhusband。
　　SOS。What？
　　CLE。Youtoldmejustnow，youvillain，thatyouwouldheartilyagreetomylovinganother。
　　SOS。Ah！InthatmatterIwaswrong。Iretract；myhonourisatstake。Youhadbetterbewareyoudonotgivewaytothatsentiment。
　　CLE。NeverthelessifsometimeIcanmakeupmymindtothething……
　　SOS。Juststoptalkingforthepresent。Amphitryoniscomingback，andheseemspleased。
　　SCENEIV
　　JUPITER，CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
　　JUP。IshalltakethisopportunityofappearingtoAlcmenetobanishthesorrowinwhichshewishestoindulge，and，underthepretencethatbringsmehere，Iwillgratifymypassionwiththedelightofareconciliationwithher。Alcmeneisupstairs，isshenot？
　　CLE。Yes；sheisthoroughlyupsetandwishestobeleftalone：shehasforbiddenmetofollowher。
　　JUP。Whateverprohibitionshemayhavegivenyoudoesnotconcernme。
　　CLE。SofarasIcansee，hisgriefhasbeatenaquickretreat。
　　SCENEV
　　CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
　　SOS。Whatdoyousay，Cleanthis，tothesecheerfullooks，afterhisterriblerage？
　　CLE。Thatweshouldalldowelltosendallmentothedevil；thebestofthemisnotworthmuch。
　　SOS。Yousaythatbecauseyouareinapassion；butyouaretoofondofmen；uponmyword，youwouldalllookasblackasthunderifthedevilweretotakethemallaway。
　　CLE。Really……
　　SOS。Heretheycome。Hush。
　　SCENEVI
　　JUPITER，ALCMENE，CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
　　JUP。Doyouwanttodrivemetodespair？Alas！Stay，lovelyAlcmene。
　　ALC。No，Icannotremainlongerwiththeauthorofmygrief。
　　JUP。IbeseechyouALC。Leaveme。
　　JUP。What……？
　　ALC。Leaveme，Itellyou。
　　JUP。Hertearstouchmetotheheart；hersorrowtroublesme。AllowmetoALC。No，donotfollowme，JUP。Whereareyougoing？
　　ALC。Whereyouarenot。
　　JUP。Thatwouldbeavainattempttomake。Iamlinkedtoyourbeautybytoocloseabondtosufferamoment’sseparationfromyou。
　　Ishallfollowyoueverywhere，Alcmene。
　　ALC。AndIshallfleefromyoueverywhere。
　　JUP。Iamveryterrible，then！
　　ALC。Yes，morethanIcansay。Indeed，Ilookuponyouasafrightfulmonster，acruel，furiousmonster，whoseapproachistobefeared；asamonstertobeavoidedeverywhere。Myheartsuffersincrediblegriefatthesightofyou；itisatorturethatoverpowersme；IdonotknowanythingunderHeavensofrightful，horribleandodious，thatIcouldnotbetterendurethanyou。
　　JUP。Alas！Dothesewordsreallycomefromyourmouth？
　　ALC。Ihavemanymoreinmyheart；IonlyregretIcannotfindwordstoexpressallIfeel。
　　JUP。Ah！Whathasmyheartdonetoyou，Alcmene，thatIshouldbelookeduponassuchamonster？
　　ALC。Oh！JustHeaven！Hecanaskthat？Isitnotenoughtodrivememad？
　　JUP。Yet，inamilderspirit……
　　ALC。No；Idonotwisheithertoseeortohearanythingofyou。
　　JUP。Haveyoureallythehearttotreatmethus？IsthisthetenderlovewhichIheardyesterdaywastolastsolong？
　　ALC。No，no，itisnot；yourbaseinsultshaveordaineditotherwise。Thatpassionateandtenderlovedoesnotexistanylonger；youhavecruellykilleditinmyheartbyahundredkeenwounds。Initsplacestandsaninflexiblewrath，alivelyresentment，aninvincibleindignation，thedespairofaheartjustlyincensed，whichresolvestohateyouforthisgrievousinjury，asmuchasitwaswillingtoloveyou；thatistosaytohateasmuchaspossible。
　　JUP。Alas！Yourlovemusthavehadbutlittlestrength，ifitcanbekilledbysoslightamatter！Canajestdivorceus？Isthereanyneedtobesorousedatatrifle？
　　ALC。Ah！Itisjustthatwhichoffendsme：thatwhichmyangercannotpardon。Ishouldhavefeltlesswoundedbythejustifiabletransportsofafitofjealousy。Jealousymakesimpressionstheforceofwhichoftentimescarriesusbeyondourcontrol；atsuchtimesthemostdiscreetmind，nodoubt，findsitdifficultenoughtoanswerforitsdeeds。Theviolenceofaheartwhichmayhavebeendeludedhas，initsverydelusion，apeace-offeringforanaggrievedsoul，andthelovethatgavebirthtoitsfears，furnishes，inspiteofallitsviolence，atleastsomereasonstourgeasexcuse。
　　Outburstssuchastheseeverhaveloveasanexcuseagainstanger：
　　forlovegavebirthtothem，andwecaneasilypardonwhatwecannotcontrol。
　　Buttoflyintouncontrollablefury，ingaietyofheart，andsocauselesslyandkeenlytowoundthetendernessandhonourofaheartthatdearlylovesyou，ah！Itistoocruelablow：mygriefcanneverforgetit。
　　JUP。Yes，youareright，Alcmene；Iadmitit。Thisactionisunquestionablyanodiouscrime；Idonotpretendtojustifyitlonger：yetallowmyhearttodefenditselfinyoureyes，andletitrevealtoyouwhoistoblameforthisinsultingfury。Totellyoufrankly，itisthehusbandAlcmene，whohasdonethiswrong；itisthehusbandwhomyoumustblame。Theloverhasnoshareinthischurlishanger：hisheartisnotcapableofoffendingyou。Hehastoomuchrespectandaffectionforyouevertothinkofit；hadhebeenguiltyofthecrimeofdoingaughtthatcouldwoundyou，hewouldpiercehimselfwithahundredstabsbeforeyoureyes。Butthehusbandhascastasidethathumblesubmissionwhichshouldalwaysbeyours；byhisharshdeeds，thehusbandhasmadehimselfknown；hethoughttherightsofmarriageallowedhimeverything。Yes，itishenodoubtwhoisguiltytowardsyou；heonlyhasill-treatedyourlovelyperson。Hate，detestthehusband；Iconsenttoit；Iyieldhimtoyourmercy；but，Alcmene，sparetheloverfromtheangerwhichsuchanoffencegivesyou；donotlethimsuffer；
　　differentiatebetweenhimandtheguiltyone；and，finally，inordertobejust，donotpunishhimforwhathehasnotdone。
　　ALC。Oh！Allthesesubtletiesarebutfrivolousexcuses；suchlanguageonlyannoysincensedminds。Invaindoyouusetheseridiculousprevarications。Idonotmakeanydistinctioninhimwhooffendsme；everythinginhimbecomestheobjectofmyanger，theloverandthehusbandarealikeconfoundedinitsjustviolence。
　　Bothoccupymythoughts；botharepaintedinthesamecoloursbymywoundedheart。Bothareguilty；bothhaveoffendedme；andbothareodioustome。
　　JUP。Well！Then，sinceyouwishit，Imustchargemyselfwiththeoffence。Yes，youareright，whenyousacrificemeasaguiltyvictimtoyourresentment。Angertowardsmeswaysyou；itisbuttoojust，andalltheterriblewrathyoushowcausesmetosufferonlylawfultorments。Itisrightyoushouldshunmypresence，andinyourangerthreatentofleefrommeeverywhere。Imustbeadetestableobjecttoyou；youarerightinthinkingillofme。Mycrimeinbeingoffensiveinyourcharmingeyessurpasseseveryhorror；itisacrimethatoffendsmenandGods；inshort，aspunishmentformyinsolenceIdeservethatyourhatredshouldventitsutmostuponme。Ibegyourforgiveness，Ibegituponmyknees，Ibegitforthesakeofthemostlivelypassion，ofthetenderestloveforyou，whichhaseverbeenkindledinahumanbreast。If，charmingAlcmene，yourheartrefusesmethepardonwhichIhavetheaudacitytoseek，thenshallawell-aimedstrokeputanendtomylife，andreleasemefromtheharshseverityofapenaltywhichI
　　cannolongerbear。Yes，thisstateofthingsdrivesmetodespair。
　　Donotthink，Alcmene，that，enamouredasIamofyourcelestialcharms，Icanliveadayunderyourwrath。Eventhesemoments’agonyisbarbarouslyprolongedandmysadheartsinksundertheirmortalblows。Thecruelwoundsofathousandvulturesarenotcomparableinanywaytomylivelygrief。Alcmene，youhavebuttotellmeIneednothopeforpardon：andimmediatelythissword，byahappythrust，shallpiercetheheartofamiserablewretchbeforeyoureyes。Thisheart，thistraitorousheart，toodeservingofdeath，sinceithasoffendedanadorablebeing，willbehappyif，indescendingintotheplaceofshades，mydeathappeasesyouranger，and，afterthiswretchedday，itleavesinyoursoulnoimpressionofhatredinrememberingmylove！ThisisallIaskasasovereignfavour。
　　ALC。Ah！Cruelhusband。
　　JUP。Speak，Alcmene，speak。
　　ALC。MustIstillkeepsomekindnessforyou，whoinsultmebysomanyindignities？
　　JUP。Whateverresentmentanoutragecausesus，canitholdoutagainsttheremorseofaheartdeeplyinlove？
　　ALC。Aheartfullofpassionwouldratherexposeitselftoathousanddeaths，thanoffendtheobjectbeloved。
　　JUP。Themoreoneloves，theeasieritisALC。No，donotspeaktomeanylongeraboutit；youdeservemyhatred。
　　JUP。Youhatemethen？
　　ALC。Imakeeveryefforttodoso，anditannoysmetofeelthatallyourinsultsdonotyetcarrymyvengeancesofarasyieldtoit。
　　JUP。Butwhythisviolence，sinceIoffertokillmyselftosatisfyyourrevenge？PronouncethesentenceandimmediatelyIwillobey。
　　ALC。Itisimpossibletowishforanother’sdeathifhatredbeabsent。
　　JUP。Icannotliveunlessyouabandonthewraththatoverwhelmsme，andunlessyougrantmethefavourofapardonwhichIbegatyourfeet。Decidetodooneortheotherquickly：topunish，ortoabsolve。
　　ALC。Alas！TheonlyresolutionIcantakeisbuttooclearlyapparent。Myhearthastooplainlybetrayedme，formetowishtomaintainthisanger：isitnottosaywepardon，whenwesaywecannothate？
　　JUP。Ah，charmingAlcmene，overwhelmedwithdelightImust……
　　ALC。Forbear：Ihatemyselfforsuchweakness。
　　JUP。Go，Sosie，makehaste；asweetjoyfillsmysoul。Seewhatofficersofthearmyyoucanfind，andaskthemtodinewithme。
　　（Softlyaside。）Mercurycanfillhispost，whileheisawayfromhere。
　　SCENEVII
　　CLEANTHIS，SOSIE
　　SOS。Come！Now，yousee，thiscouple，Cleanthis。Willyoufollowtheirexample，andletusalsomakepeace？Indulgeinsomeslightreconciliation？
　　CLE。Forthesakeofyourlovelymug，Ohyes！Iwill，andnomistake。
　　SOS。What？Youwillnot？
　　CLE。No。
　　SOS。Itdoesn’tmattertome。Somuchtheworseforyou。
　　CLE。Well，well，comeback。
　　SOS。No，not，likely！Ishallnotdoanythingofthekind，Ishallbeangry。Iturnnow。
　　CLE。Goaway，youvillain，letmealone；onegetstirednowandthenofbeinganhonestwoman。
　　ENDOFTHESECONDACT
　　ACTIII
　　SCENEI
　　AMPHITRYON
　　Yes，sodoubtfatehideshimpurposelyfromme；atlastamItiredoftryingtofindhim。Idonotknowanythingthatcanbemorecruelthanmylot。Inspiteofallmyendeavours，IcannotfindhimwhomI
　　seek；allthoseIdonotseekIfind。Athousandtiresomebores，whodonotthinktheyareso，drivememadwiththeircongratulationsonourfeatsofarms，althoughtheyknowlittleofme。Inthecruelembarrassmentandanxietythattroublesme，theyallburdenmewiththeirattentions，andtheirrejoicingsmakemyuneasinessworse。InvainItrytopassthemby，tofleefromtheirpersecutions；theirkillingfriendshipstopsmeonallsides；whilstIreplytotheardouroftheirexpressionsbyanodofthehead，Imutterundermybreathahundredcursesonthem。Ah！Howlittleweareflatteredbypraise，honourandallthatagreatvictorybrings，wheninwardlywesufferkeensorrow！HowwillinglywouldIexchangeallthisglorytohavepeaceofmind！Ateveryturnmyjealousytwitsmewithmydisgrace；themoremymindpondersoverit，thelesscanIunravelitsmiserableconfusion。Thetheftofthediamondsdoesnotastonishme；sealsmaybetamperedwithunperceived；butmymostcrueltormentisthatsheinsistsIgavethegifttoherpersonallyyesterday。Natureoftentimesproducesresemblances，whichsomeimpostorshaveadoptedinordertodeceive；butitisinconceivablethat，undertheseappearances，amanshouldpasshimselfoffasahusband；thereareathousanddifferencesinarelationshipsuchasthiswhichawifecouldeasilydetect。ThemarvellouseffectsofThessalianmagichaveatalltimesbeenrenowned；butIhavealwayslookeduponasidletalesthefamousstorieseveryonetalksof。ItwouldbeahardfateifI，aftersogloriousavictoryelsewhere，shouldbecompelledtobelievethematthecostofmyownhonour。I
　　willquestionheragainuponthiswretchedmystery，andseeifitisnotasillyfancythathastakenadvantageofherdisorderedbrain。
　　OrighteousHeaven，maythisthoughtbetrue，andmaysheevenhavelosthersenses，sothatImaybehappy！
　　SCENEII
　　MERCURY，AMPHITRYON
　　MERC。Sincelovedoesnotoffermeanypleasurehere，Iwillatleastenjoymyselfinanotherway，andenlivenmydismalleisurebyputtingAmphitronoutofallpatience。ThismaynotbeverycharitableinaGod；butIshallnotbothermyselfaboutthat；myplanettellsmeIamsomewhatgiventomalice。
　　AMPH。Howisitthatthedoorisclosedatthishour？
　　MERC。Hullo！Gently，gently！Whoknocks？
　　AMPH。I。
　　MERC。Who，I？
　　AMPH。Ah！Open。
　　MERC。Whatdoyoumeanby’open’？Whoareyou，pray，tomakesucharow，andspeaklikethat？
　　AMPH。So？Youdonotknowme？
　　MERC。No，norhaveItheleastwishto。
　　AMPH。Iseveryonelosinghissensestoday？Isthemaladyspreading？
　　Sosie！Hullo，Sosie！
　　MERC。Come，now！Sosie：thatismyname；areyouafraidIshallforgetit？
　　AMPH。Doyouseeme？
　　MERC。Wellenough。Whatcanpossessyourarmtomakesuchanuproar？
　　Whatdoyouwantdownthere？
　　AMPH。I，yougallows-bird！WhatdoIwant？
　　MERC。Whatdoyounotwantthen？Speak，ifyouwanttobeunderstood。
　　AMPH。Listen，youvillain：Iwillcomeupwithasticktomakeyouunderstand，andgiveyouafinelesson。Howdareyouspeaktomelikethat？
　　MERC。Softly，softly！Ifyoumaketheleastattempttocreateanuproar，Ishallsendyoudownsomemessengerswhowillannoyyou。
　　AMPH。OhHeavens！Didanyoneeverconceivesuchinsolence？Andfromaservant，fromabeggar？
　　MERC。Come，now！Whatisthematter？Haveyougoneovereverythingcorrectly？Haveyourbigeyestakeneverythingin？Heglares，sosavagehelooks！Iflookscouldbite，hewouldhavetornmetoshredsbynow。
　　AMPH。Itrembleatwhatyouarebringinguponyourselfwithallthisimpudenttalk。Whatafrightfulstormyouarebrewingforyourself！
　　Whatatempestofblowswillstormdownonyourback！
　　MERC。Ifyoudonotsoondisappearfromhere，myfriend，youmaycomeinforsomemauling。
　　AMPH。Ah！Youvillain，youshallknowtoyourconfusionwhatitisforavalettoattackhismaster。
　　MERC。You，mymaster？
　　AMPH。Yes，rascal。Doyoudaretosayyoudonotrecogniseme？
　　MERC。IdonotrecogniseanyothermasterthanAmphitryon。
　　AMPH。Andwho，besidesmyself，maythisAmphitryonbe？
　　MERC。Amphitryon？
　　AMPH。Certainly。
　　MERC。Ah！Whatanillusion！Come，tellmeinwhatdecenttavernyouhaveaddledyourbrain？
　　AMPH。What？Again？
　　MERC。Wasitafeast-daywine？
　　AMPH。Heavens！
　　MERC。Wasitoldornew？
　　AMPH。Whatinsults！
　　MERC。Newgoestoone’shead，ifdrunkwithoutwater。
　　AMPH。Ah！Ishalltearyourtongueoutsoon。
　　MERC。Passon，mydearfriend；believeme，nooneherewilllistentoyou。Irespectwine。Goaway，makeyourselfscarce，andleaveAmphitryontothepleasureswhichheistasting。
　　AMPH。What！IsAmphitryoninthere？
　　MERC。Rather：coveredwiththelaurelsofhisfinevictory，heissidebysidewiththelovelyAlcmeneenjoyingthedelightsofacharmingtete-a-tete。Theyaretastingthepleasuresofbeingreconciled，nowtheirlove-tiffhasblownover。Takecarehowyoudisturbtheirsweetprivacy，unlessyouwishhimtopunishyouforyourexcessiverashness。
　　SCENEIII
　　AMPHITRYON
　　Ah！Whatafrightfulblowhehasgivenme！Howcruellyhasheputmetoconfusion！Ifmattersareasthisvillainsays，towhatastatearemyhonourandmyaffectionreduced？WhatcoursecanIadopt？AmItonoiseitabroadorkeepitsecret？OughtI，inmyanger，tokeepthedishonourofmyhousetomyselformakeitpublic？Come！
　　Mustoneeventhinkwhattodoinsogrossanaffront？Ihavenostanding，nothingtohopefor；allmyanxietynowshallbehowtoavengemyself。
　　SCENEIV
　　SOSIE，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，AMPHITRYON
　　SOS。AllIhavebeenabletodo，Monsieur，withallmydiligence，istohavebroughtthesegentlemenhere。
　　AMPH。Ah！Youarehere？
　　SOS。Monsieur。
　　AMPH。Insolent，boldrascal！
　　SOS。What？
　　AMPH。Ishallteachyoutotreatmethus。
　　SOS。Whatisit？Whatisthematterwithyou？
　　AMPH。Whatisthematterwithme，villain？
　　SOS。Hullo，gentlemen，comeherequickly。
　　NAU。Ah！Stay，Ibeseechyou。
　　SOS。OfwhatamIguilty？
　　AMPH。Youaskmethat，youscoundrel？Letmesatisfymyrighteousanger。
　　SOS。Whentheyhanganyone，theytellhimwhytheydoit。
　　NAU。Atleastcondescendtotelluswhathiscrimemaybe。
　　SOS。Ibeseechyou，gentlemen，keepatightholdofme。
　　AMPH。Yes！Hehasjusthadtheaudacitytoshutthedoorinmyface，andtoaddthreatstoathousandimpudentjeers！Ah！Youvillain！
　　SOS。Iamdead。
　　NAU。Restrainthisanger。
　　SOS。Gentlemen。
　　POL。Whatisit？
　　SOS。Hashestruckme？
　　AMPH。No，hemusthavehisrewardforthelanguagehehasmadefreetousejustnow。
　　SOS。HowcouldthatbewhenIwaselsewherebusycarryingoutyourorders？ThesegentlemenherecanbearwitnessthatIhavejustinvitedthemtodinewithyou。
　　NAU。Thatistrue：hehasjustdeliveredusthismessage，andwouldnotquitus。
　　AMPH。Whogaveyouthatorder？
　　SOS。You。
　　AMPH。When？
　　SOS。Afteryoumadeyourpeace，whenyouwererejoicingatthedelightofhavingappeasedAlcmene’sanger。
　　AMPH。OHeaven！Everyinstant，everystep，addssomethingtomycruelmartyrdom；IamsoutterlyconfusedthatInolongerknoweitherwhattobelieveorwhattosay。
　　NAU。Allhehasjusttoldus，ofwhathashappenedatyourhouse，surpasseswhatisnaturalsomuch，thatbeforedoinganythingandbeforeflyingintosuchapassion，yououghttoclearupthewholeofthisadventure。
　　AMPH。Come；youcansecondmyefforts；Heavenhasbroughtyouheremostopportunely。Letmeseewhatfortunebringsmetoday；letmesolvethismystery，andknowmyfate。Alas！Iburntolearnit，andIdreaditmorethandeath。
　　SCENEV
　　JUPITER，AMPHITRYON，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE
　　JUP。Whatisthisnoisethatcompelsmetocomedown？WhoknocksasthoughheweremasterwhereIammaster？
　　AMPH。GoodGods！WhatdoIsee？
　　NAU。Heaven！Whatprodigyisthis？What？HerearetwoAmphitryons！
　　AMPH。Mysoulisstruckdumb。Alas！Icannotdoanythingmore：theadventureisatanend；myfateisclear；whatIseetellsmeall。
　　NAU。ThemorenarrowlyIwatchthem，themoreIfindtheyresembleeachother。
　　SOS。Gentlemen，thisisthetrueone；theotherisanimpostorwhooughttobechastised。
　　POL。Truly，thismarvellousresemblancekeepsmyjudgmentinsuspense。
　　AMPH。Wehavebeentrickedtoolongbyanexecrablerogue；Imustbreakthespellwiththissteel。
　　NAU。Stay。
　　AMPH。Leavemealone。
　　NAU。YeGods！Whatwouldyoudo？
　　AMPH。Punishthemiserabletreacheryofanimpostor。
　　JUP。Gently，gently！Thereisverylittleneedofbeingcarriedawaybypassion；whenamanburstsoutinsucharageasthis，itmakesonethinkhehasbadreasons。
　　SOS。Yes；itisanenchanter，whohasatalismanthatenableshimtoresemblethemastersofhouses。
　　AMPH。Foryourshareinthisinsultinglanguage，Ishallmakeyoufeelathousandblows。
　　SOS。Mymasterisamanofcourage：hewillnotallowhisfollowerstobethrashed。
　　AMPH。Letmeassuagemydeepanger，andwashoutmyaffrontinthescoundrel’sblood。
　　NAU。WeshallnotsufferthisstrangecombatofAmphitryonagainsthimself。
　　AMPH。What？Doesmyhonourreceivethistreatmentfromyou？Domyfriendsundertakethedefenceofarogue？Farfrombeingthefirsttotakeupmyvengeance，theythemselvesplaceobstaclesinthewayofmyresentment？
　　NAU。Whatdoyouwishustodecide，whentwoAmphitryonsarebeforeusandallthewarmthofourfriendshipisinsuspense？Ifwewerenowtoshowtowardsyou，wefearwemightmakeamistake，andnotrecogniseyou。TrulyweseeinyoutheappearanceofAmphitryon，theglorioussupportoftheThebans’well-being；butwealsoseethesameappearanceinhim，andwecannotjudgewhichheis。Ourdutyisnotdoubtful，theimpostoroughttobitethedustatourhands；butthisperfectresemblancehideshimbetweenyoutwo；anditistoohazardousastroketoundertakeinthedark。Letusfindoutquietlyonwhichsidetheimposturemaybe；then，assoonaswehaveunravelledtheadventure，itwillnotbenecessaryforyoutotellusourduty。
　　JUP。Yes，youareright，thisresemblanceauthorisesyoutodoubtbothofus。Iamnotoffendedtoseeyoucannotmakeupyourminds：
　　Iammorereasonable，andexcuseyou。Theeyecannotdifferentiatebetweenus。Iseeonecaneasilybemistaken。Youdonotseemegivewaytoanger，nordrawmysword：thatisabadwaytoenlightenamystery；Icanfindonemoregentleandmorecertain。OneofusisAmphitryon；andbothofusmayseemsoinyoureyes。Itisformetoendthisconfusion。Iintendtomakemyselfsowellknowntoall，that，attheoverwhelmingproofsIshallbringforwardtoshowwhoI
　　am，behimselfshallagreeconcerningthebloodfromwhichIsprang，andheshallnolongerhaveoccasiontosayanything。BeforealltheThebansIwillrevealthetruthtoyou；theaffairis，unquestionably，ofsufficientimportancetojustifymyseekingtoclearitupinthesightofall。Alcmeneexpectsthispublictestimonyfromme；hervirtue，whichisoutragedbythenoiseofthismischance，demandsjustification，andIwillseejusticeisdoneit。Myloveforhercompelsmetoit。Ishallcalltogetheranassemblyofthenoblestchiefs，fortheexplanationherhonourrequires。Whilewaitingwithyouforthesedesirablewitnesses，I
　　prayyoutocondescendtohonourthetabletowhichSosiehasinvitedyou。
　　SOS。Iwasnotmistaken，gentlemen，thiswordputsanendtoallirresolution：therealAmphitryonistheAmphitryonwhogivesdinners。
　　AMPH。OHeaven！Canmyhumiliationgofurther？MustIindeedsufferthemartyrdomoflisteningtoallthatthisimpostorhasjustsaidtomyface，myarmsbound，thoughhiswordsdrivememad？
　　NAU。Youarewrongtocomplain。Letusawaittheexplanationwhichshallrenderresentmentseasonable。Idonotknowwhetherheimposesuponusornot；buthespeaksonthematterasthoughhewereright。
　　AMPH。Go，youweak-kneedfriends，andflattertheimposture。Thebeshasotherfriendswhowillflockroundme，differentfromyou。I
　　willgoandfindsomewho，sharingtheinsult，willknowbowtolendtheirhandinmyjustcause。
　　JUP。Ahwell！Iawaitthem；Ishallknowhowtodecidethediscussionintheirpresence。
　　AMPH。Yourogue，youthinkperhapstoevadejusticethus；butnothingshallshieldyoufrommyvengeance。
　　JUP。Ishallnotnowcondescendtoanswerthisinsultinglanguage；
　　soonIshallbeabletoconfoundyourfurywithtwowords。
　　AMPH。NotHeaven，notHeavenitselfcanprotectyou：IshalldogyourfootstepseventoHell。
　　JUP。Itwillnotbenecessary；youwillsoonseeIshallnotflyaway。
　　AMPH。Now，beforehegoesawaywiththese，Iwillmakehastetogathertogetherfriendswhowillaidmycause；theywillcometomyhouseandhelpmetopiercehimwithathousandthrusts。
　　JUP。Noceremony，Iimploreyou；letusgoquicklyintothehouse。
　　NAU。Really，thisadventureutterlyconfoundsthesensesandthereason。
　　SOS。Atruce，gentlemen，toallyoursurprises；letusjoyfullysitdowntofeeduntilthemorning。Iintendtofeastwell，sothatI
　　maybeingoodconditiontorelateourvaliantdeeds！Iamitchingtoattackthedishes；Ineverfeltsohungry。
　　SCENEVI
　　MERCURY，SOSIE
　　MERC。Stop。Whathaveyoucometopokeyournoseinherefor，youimpudentturn-spit？
　　SOS。Ah！Gently，gently，formercy’ssake！
　　MERC。Ah！Youhavecomebackagain！Ishalltanyourhideforyou。
　　SOS。Ah！BraveandgenerousI，composeyourself，Ibeseechyou。
　　Sosie，spareSosiealittle，anddonotdivertyourselfbyknockingyourselfdown。
　　MERC。Whogaveyoulibertytocallyourselfbythatname？DidInotexpresslyforbidyoutodoso，underpenaltyofexperiencingathousandcutsfromthecane？
　　SOS。Itisanamewebothmaybearatthesametime，underthesamemaster。IamrecognisedasSosieeverywhere；Ipermityoutobehe，permitmetobeso，too。LetusleaveittothetwoAmphitryonstogiveventtotheirjealousies，and，thoughtheycontend，letthetwoSosiesliveinthebondsofpeace。
　　MERC。No，oneisquiteenough；Iamdeterminednottoallowanydivision。
　　SOS。Youshallhaveprecedenceoverme；Iwillbetheyounger，andyoushallbetheelder。
　　MERC。No：abrotherisanuisance，andnottomytaste；Iintendtobetheonlyson。
　　SOS。Obarbarousandtyrannicalheart！Allowmeatleasttobeyourshadow。
　　MERC。Notatall。
　　SOS。Letyoursoulhumaniseitselfwithalittlepity！Allowmetobenearyouinthatcapacity：Ishallbeeverywheresosubmissiveashadowthatyouwillbepleasedwithme。
　　MERC。Noquarter；thelawisimmutable。Ifyouagainhavetheaudacitytogointhere，athousandblowsshallbethefruit。
　　SOS。Alas！PoorSosie，towhatmiserabledisgraceareyoureduced！
　　MERC。So？YourlipspresumeagaintogiveyourselfanameIforbid！
　　SOS。No，Ididnotintendmyself；IwasspeakingofanoldSosie，whowasformerlyarelativeofmine，andwhom，withtheutmostbarbarity，theydroveoutofthehouseatdinnerhour。
　　MERC。Takecareyoudonotfallintothatidiocyifyouwishtoremainamongthenumberoftheliving。
　　SOS。HowIwouldthwackyouifIhadthecourage，foryourwretchedpuffeduppride，youdoublesonofastrumpet！
　　MERC。Whatdoyousay？
　　SOS。Nothing。
　　MERC。Iamsureyoumutteredsomething。
　　SOS。Askanyone；Idonotbreathe。
　　MERC。NeverthelessIamabsolutelycertainthatsomethingaboutasonofastrumpetstruckmyear。
　　SOS。Itmusthavebeenaparrotrousedbythebeautifulweather。
　　MERC。Adieu。Ifyourbackitchesforacurrying，hereiswhereIlive。
　　SOS。OHeavens！Whatacursedhouristhedinnerhourtobeturnedoutofdoors！Come，letusyieldtofateinouraffliction。Letustodayfollowblindcaprice，andjointheunfortunateSosietotheunfortunateAmphitryon：itisasuitableunion。Iseeheiscomingingoodcompany。
　　SCENEVII
　　AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES，SOSIE
　　AMPH。Stayhere，gentlemen，followmealittlewayoff，anddonotalladvance，Iprayyou，untilthereisneedforit。
　　POS。Iquiteunderstandthisblowtouchesyoutotheheart。
　　AMPH。Ah！Mysorrowisbitterthroughandthrough：Isufferinmyaffection，asmuchasinmyhonour。
　　POS。Ifthisresemblanceissuchasissaid，Alcmene，withoutbeingguilty……
　　AMPH。Ah！Inthisaffair，asimpleerrorbecomesaveritablecrime，and，thoughnowayconsenting，innocenceperishesinit。Sucherrors，inwhateverwaywelookatthem，affectusinthemostsensitiveparts；reasonoften，oftenpardonsthem，whenhonourandlovecannot。
　　ARGAT。Idonotbothermythoughtsaboutthat；butIhateyourgentlemenfortheirdisgracefuldelay；itisaproceedingwhichwoundsmetothequick，andonewhichcourageouspeoplewillneverapprove。Whenanymanhasneedofus，weoughttothrowourselvesheadforemostintohisconcerns。Argatiphontidasisnotoneforcompromisingmatters。Itisnotseemlyformenofhonourtolistentotheargumentsofafriend’sadversary；oneshouldonlylistentovengeanceatsuchtimes。Theproceedingdoesnotpleaseme；inquarrelssuchastheseweoughtalwaystobeginsendingtheswordthroughthebody，withoutanynonsense。Yes，whateverhappens，youshallseethatArgatiphontidasgoesstraighttothepoint。Ientreatyounottoletthevillaindiebyanyotherhandthanmine。
　　AMPH。Comeon。
　　SOS。Icome，Monsieur，toundergoatyourkneesthejustpunishmentofcursedaudacity。Strike，beat，drub，overwhelmmewithblows，killmeinyouranger；youwilldowell，Ideserveit；Ishallnotsayasinglewordagainstyou。
　　AMPH。Getup。Whatisthematter？
　　SOS。Ihavebeenturnedawayunceremoniously；thinkingtoeatandrejoicelikethem，Ididnotthinkthat，asitturnedout，Iwaswaitingtheretothrashmyself。Yes，theotherI，valettotheotheryou，hasplayedtheverydevilwithmeoncemore。Thesamecruelfateseemstopursueusbothtoday，Monsieur。Inshort，theyhaveun-Sosiedme，astheyun-Amphitryon’dyou。
　　AMPH。Followme。
　　SOS。Isitnotbettertoseeifanybodyiscoming？
　　SCENEVIII
　　CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
　　CLE。OHeaven！
　　AMPH。Whatfrightensyoulikethis？Whyareyouafraidofme？
　　CLE。Why！YouareupthereandIseeyouhere！
　　NAU。Donothurry；herehecomestogive，beforeusall，theexplanationwewant。Ifwemaybelievewhathehasjustsaidaboutit，itwillbanishawayyourtroubleandcare。
　　SCENEIX
　　MERCURY，CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
　　MERC。Yes，youshallallseehim；knowbeforehandthatitisthegrandmasteroftheGods，whom，underthecherishedfeaturesofthisresemblance，Alcmenehascausedtodescendherefromtheheavens。Asforme，IamMercury。Notknowingwhatelsetodo，IhavegivenhimadrubbingwhoseappearanceItook。Hemaynowconsolehimself，forstrokesfromthewandofaGodconferhonouronhimwhohastosubmittothem。
　　SOS。Uponmyword，MonsieurGod，Iamyourservant；Icouldhavedonewithoutyourattentions。
　　MERC。InowgiveyouleavetobeSosie。Iamtiredofwearingsuchanuglymug；Iamgoingtotheheavens，toscrapeitalloffwithambrosia。（Hefliesawaytotheskies。）
　　SOS。MayHeavenforeverkeepyoufromthedesireofwishingtocomenearmeagain！Yourfuryagainstmehasbeentoobitter；neverinmylifehaveIseenaGodwhowasmoreofadevilthanyou！
　　SCENEX
　　JUPITER，CLEANTHIS，NAUCRATES，POLIDAS，SOSIE，AMPHITRYON，ARGATIPHONTIDAS，POSICLES
　　JUP。（Inacloud，）Behold，Amphitryon，whohasimposedonyou；underhisownaspectyouseeJupiter。Bythesesignsyoumayeasilyknowhim；theyaresufficient，Ithink，torestoreyourheartwhereitshouldbetobringbackpeaceandhappinesstoyourfamily。Myname，whichthewholeearthcontinuallyadores，thusstiflesallscandalthatmightbespreadabroad。AsharewithJupiterhasnothingthatintheleastdishonours，fordoubtless，itcanbebutglorioustofindone’sselftherivalofthesovereignoftheGods。Idonotseeanyreasonwhyyourloveshouldmurmur；itisI，GodasIam，whooughttobejealousinthisaffair。Alcmeneiswhollyyours，whatevermeansonemayemploy；itmustbegratifyingtoyourpassiontoseethatthereisnootherwayofpleasingherthantoappearasherhusband。EvenJupiter，clothedinhisimmortalglory，couldnotbyhimselfundermineherfidelity；whathehasreceivedfromherwasgrantedbyherardentheartonlytoyou。
　　SOS。TheSeigneurJupiterknowshowtogildthepill。
　　JUP。Castaside，therefore，theblackcarethatstiflesyourheart；
　　restoreperfectpeacetotheardourwhichconsumesyou。Inyourhouseshallbebornason，who，underthenameofHercules，shallcausethevastuniversetoringwithhisdeeds。AgloriousfuturecrownedwithathousandblessingsshallleteveryoneseeIamyoursupport；Iwillmakeyourfatetheenvyofthewholeworld。Youmayboldlyflatteryourselfwithwhatthesepromisesconfer。Itisacrimetodoubtthem，forthewordsofJupiterarethedecreesoffate。（Heislostintheclouds。）
　　NAU。Truly，Iamdelightedattheseevidentmarks……
　　SOS。Gentlemen，willyoupleasetakemyadvice？Donotembarkinthesesugarycongratulations；itisabadspeculation；phrasesareembarrassingoneitherside，insuchacompliment。ThegreatGodJupiterhasdoneusmuchhonour，and，unquestionaby，hiskindnesstowardsusisunparalleled；hepromisesustheinfalliblehappinessofafortunecrownedwithathousandblessings，andinourhouseshallbebornabraveson。Nothingcouldbebetterthanthis。But，nevertheless，letuscutshortourspeeches，andeachoneretirequietlytohisownhouse。Insuchaffairsasthese，itisalwaysbestnottosayanything。