part1-2
ChapterII
HESHOOKhandswithme:"Well,thereyouare,onyourown,appointedofficiallyundermyre-
sponsibility。"
Hewasactuallywalkingwithmetothedoor。
Whatadistanceoffitseemed!Imovedlikeamaninbonds。Butwereacheditatlast。Iopeneditwiththesensationofdealingwithmeredream-
stuff,andthenatthelastmomentthefellowshipofseamenasserteditself,strongerthanthediffer-
enceofageandstation。ItasserteditselfinCaptainEllis’voice。
"Good-bye——andgoodlucktoyou,"hesaidsoheartilythatIcouldonlygivehimagratefulglance。ThenIturnedandwentout,nevertoseehimagaininmylife。IhadnotmadethreestepsintotheouterofficewhenIheardbehindmybackagruff,loud,authoritativevoice,thevoiceofourdeputy-Neptune。
ItwasaddressingtheheadShipping-Masterwho,havingletmein,had,apparently,remainedhoveringinthemiddledistanceeversince"Mr。R。,lettheharbourlaunchhavesteamuptotakethecaptainhereonboardtheMelitaathalf-
pastnineto-night。"
IwasamazedatthestartledalacrityofR’s"Yes,sir。"Heranbeforemeoutonthelanding。
MynewdignitysatyetsolightlyonmethatIwasnotawarethatitwasI,theCaptain,theobjectofthislastgraciousness。Itseemedasifallofasud-
denapairofwingshadgrownonmyshoulders。I
merelyskimmedalongthepolishedfloor。
ButR。wasimpressed。
"Isay!"heexclaimedonthelanding,whiletheMalaycrewofthesteam-launchstandingbylookedstonilyatthemanforwhomtheyweregoingtobekeptondutysolate,awayfromtheirgambling,fromtheirgirls,ortheirpuredomesticjoys。"I
say!Hisownlaunch。Whathaveyoudonetohim?"
Hisstarewasfullofrespectfulcuriosity。Iwasquiteconfounded。
"Wasitforme?Ihadn’ttheslightestnotion,"
Istammeredout。
Henoddedmanytimes。"Yes。AndthelastpersonwhohaditbeforeyouwasaDuke。So,there!"
Ithinkheexpectedmetofaintonthespot。
ButIwasintoomuchofahurryforemotionaldisplays。Myfeelingswerealreadyinsuchawhirlthatthisstaggeringinformationdidnotseemtomaketheslightestdifference。Itmerelyfellintotheseethingcauldronofmybrain,andIcarrieditoffwithmeafterashortbuteffusivepassageofleave-takingwithR。
Thefavourofthegreatthrowsanaureoleroundthefortunateobjectofitsselection。Thatex-
cellentmanenquiredwhetherhecoulddoanythingforme。Hehadknownmeonlybysight,andhewaswellawarehewouldneverseemeagain;Iwas,incommonwiththeotherseamenoftheport,merelyasubjectforofficialwriting,fillingupofformswithalltheartificialsuperiorityofamanofpenandinktothemenwhograpplewithrealitiesoutsidetheconsecratedwallsofofficialbuildings。
Whatghostswemusthavebeentohim!Meresymbolstojugglewithinbooksandheavyregisters,withoutbrainsandmusclesandper-
plexities;somethinghardlyusefulanddecidedlyinferior。
Andhe——theofficehoursbeingover——wantedtoknowifhecouldbeofanyusetome!
Iought——properlyspeaking——Ioughttohavebeenmovedtotears。ButIdidnoteventhinkofit。
Itwasmerelyanothermiraculousmanifestationofthatdayofmiracles。Ipartedfromhimasifhewereameresymbol。Ifloateddownthestaircase。
Ifloatedoutoftheofficialandimposingportal。I
wentonfloatingalong。
Iusethatwordratherthantheword"flew,"be-
causeIhaveadistinctimpressionthat,thoughup-
liftedbymyarousedyouth,mymovementsweredeliberateenough。Tothatmixedwhite,brown,andyellowportionofmankind,outabroadontheirownaffairs,Ipresentedtheappearanceofamanwalkingrathersedately。Andnothinginthewayofabstractioncouldhaveequalledmydeepde-
tachmentfromtheformsandcoloursofthisworld。
Itwas,asitwere,final。
Andyet,suddenly,IrecognizedHamilton。I
recognizedhimwithouteffort,withoutashock,withoutastart。Therehewas,strollingtowardtheHarbourOfficewithhisstiff,arrogantdignity。
Hisredfacemadehimnoticeableatadistance。Itflamed,overthere,ontheshadysideofthestreet。
Hehadperceivedme,too。Something(uncon-
sciousexuberanceofspiritsperhaps)movedmetowavemyhandtohimelaborately。ThislapsefromgoodtastehappenedbeforeIwasawarethatIwascapableofit。
Theimpactofmyimpudencestoppedhimshort,muchasabulletmighthavedone。Iverilybelievehestaggered,thoughasfarasIcouldseehedidn’tactuallyfall。Ihadgonepastinamomentanddidnotturnmyhead。Ihadforgottenhisexistence。
Thenexttenminutesmighthavebeentensecondsortencenturiesforallmyconsciousnesshadtodowithit。Peoplemighthavebeenfallingdeadaroundme,housescrumbling,gunsfiring,Iwouldn’thaveknown。Iwasthinking:"ByJove!Ihavegotit。"ITbeingthecommand。Ithadcomeaboutinawayutterlyunforeseeninmymodestday-dreams。
Iperceivedthatmyimaginationhadbeenrun-
ninginconventionalchannelsandthatmyhopeshadalwaysbeendrabstuff。Ihadenvisagedacommandasaresultofaslowcourseofpromotionintheemployofsomehighlyrespectablefirm。
Therewardoffaithfulservice。Well,faithfulservicewasallright。Onewouldnaturallygivethatforone’sownsake,forthesakeoftheship,fortheloveofthelifeofone’schoice;notforthesakeofthereward。
Thereissomethingdistastefulinthenotionofareward。
AndnowhereIhadmycommand,absolutelyinmypocket,inawayundeniableindeed,butmostunexpected;beyondmyimaginings,outsideallreasonableexpectations,andevennotwithstandingtheexistenceofsomesortofobscureintriguetokeepitawayfromme。Itistruethattheintriguewasfeeble,butithelpedthefeelingofwonder——asifIhadbeenspeciallydestinedforthatshipIdidnotknow,bysomepowerhigherthantheprosaicagenciesofthecommercialworld。
Astrangesenseofexultationbegantocreepintome。IfIhadworkedforthatcommandtenyearsormoretherewouldhavebeennothingofthekind。
Iwasalittlefrightened。
"Letusbecalm,"Isaidtomyself。
OutsidethedooroftheOfficers’HomethewretchedStewardseemedtobewaitingforme。
Therewasabroadflightofafewsteps,andherantoandfroonthetopofitasifchainedthere。A
distressedcur。Helookedasthoughhisthroatweretoodryforhimtobark。
IregrettosayIstoppedbeforegoingin。Therehadbeenarevolutioninmymoralnature。Hewaitedopen-mouthed,breathless,whileIlookedathimforhalfaminute。
"Andyouthoughtyoucouldkeepmeoutofit,"
Isaidscathingly。
"Yousaidyouweregoinghome,"hesqueakedmiserably。"Yousaidso。Yousaidso。"
"IwonderwhatCaptainElliswillhavetosaytothatexcuse,"Iutteredslowlywithasinistermeaning。
Hislowerjawhadbeentremblingallthetimeandhisvoicewaslikethebleatingofasickgoat。"Youhavegivenmeaway?Youhavedoneforme?"
Neitherhisdistressnoryetthesheerabsurdityofitwasabletodisarmme。Itwasthefirstin-
stanceofharmbeingattemptedtobedonetome——atanyrate,thefirstIhadeverfoundout。AndIwasstillyoungenough,stilltoomuchonthissideoftheshadowline,nottobesurprisedandindig-
nantatsuchthings。
Igazedathiminflexibly。Letthebeggarsuffer。
HeslappedhisforeheadandIpassedin,pursued,intothediningroom,byhisscreech:"Ialwayssaidyou’dbethedeathofme。"
Thisclamournotonlyovertookme,butwentaheadasitwereontotheverandahandbroughtoutCaptainGiles。
Hestoodbeforemeinthedoorwayinallthecommonplacesolidityofhiswisdom。Thegoldchainglitteredonhisbreast。Heclutchedasmoulderingpipe。
Iextendedmyhandtohimwarmlyandheseemedsurprised,butdidrespondheartilyenoughintheend,withafaintsmileofsuperiorknowledgewhichcutmythanksshortasifwithaknife。I
don’tthinkthatmorethanonewordcameout。
Andevenforthatone,judgingbythetemperatureofmyface,Ihadblushedasifforabadaction。
Assumingadetachedtone,Iwonderedhowonearthhehadmanagedtospotthelittleunderhandgamethathadbeengoingon。
Hemurmuredcomplacentlythattherewerebutfewthingsdoneinthetownthathecouldnotseetheinsideof。Andastothishouse,hehadbeenusingitoffandonfornearlytenyears。Nothingthatwentoninitcouldescapehisgreatexperience。
Ithadbeennotroubletohim。Notroubleatall。
Theninhisquiet,thicktonehewantedtoknowifIhadcomplainedformallyoftheSteward’saction。
IsaidthatIhadn’t——though,indeed,itwasnotforwantofopportunity。CaptainEllishadgoneformebald-headedinamostridiculousfashionforbeingoutofthewaywhenwanted。
"Funnyoldgentleman,"interjectedCaptainGiles。"Whatdidyousaytothat?"
"IsaidsimplythatIcamealongtheverymo-
mentIheardofhismessage。Nothingmore。I
didn’twanttohurttheSteward。Iwouldscorntoharmsuchanobject。No。Imadenocom-
plaint,butIbelievehethinksI’vedoneso。Lethimthink。He’sgotafrighthewon’tforgetinahurry,forCaptainElliswouldkickhimoutintothemiddleofAsia……"
"Waitamoment,"saidCaptainGiles,leavingmesuddenly。Isatdownfeelingverytired,mostlyinmyhead。BeforeIcouldstartatrainofthoughthestoodagainbeforeme,murmuringtheexcusethathehadtogoandputthefellow’smindatease。
Ilookedupwithsurprise。ButinrealityIwasindifferent。HeexplainedthathehadfoundtheStewardlyingfacedownwardonthehorsehairsofa。
Hewasallrightnow。
"Hewouldnothavediedoffright,"Isaidcon-
temptuously。
"No。Buthemighthavetakenanoverdoseoutofoneofthemlittlebottleshekeepsinhisroom,"
CaptainGilesarguedseriously。"Theconfoundedfoolhastriedtopoisonhimselfonce——afewyearsago。"
"Really,"Isaidwithoutemotion。"Hedoesn’tseemveryfittolive,anyhow。"
"Astothat,itmaybesaidofagoodmany。"
"Don’texaggeratelikethis!"Iprotested,laughingirritably。"ButIwonderwhatthispartoftheworldwoulddoifyouweretoleaveofflook-
ingafterit,CaptainGiles?HereyouhavegotmeacommandandsavedtheSteward’slifeinoneafternoon。ThoughwhyyoushouldhavetakenallthatinterestineitherofusismorethanIcanunderstand。"
CaptainGilesremainedsilentforaminute。
Thengravely:
"He’snotabadstewardreally。Hecanfindagoodcook,atanyrate。And,what’smore,hecankeephimwhenfound。Irememberthecookswehadherebeforehistime!……"
Imusthavemadeamovementofimpatience,becauseheinterruptedhimselfwithanapologyforkeepingmeyarningthere,whilenodoubtIneededallmytimetogetready。
WhatIreallyneededwastobealoneforabit。
Iseizedthisopeninghastily。Mybedroomwasaquietrefugeinanapparentlyuninhabitedwingofthebuilding。Havingabsolutelynothingtodo(forIhadnotunpackedmythings),Isatdownonthebedandabandonedmyselftotheinfluencesofthehour。Totheunexpectedinfluences……
AndfirstIwonderedatmystateofmind。WhywasInotmoresurprised?Why?HereIwas,in-
vestedwithacommandinthetwinklingofaneye,notinthecommoncourseofhumanaffairs,butmoreasifbyenchantment。Ioughttohavebeenlostinastonishment。ButIwasn’t。Iwasverymuchlikepeopleinfairytales。Nothingeverastonishesthem。Whenafullyappointedgalacoachisproducedoutofapumpkintotakehertoaball,Cinderelladoesnotexclaim。Shegetsinquietlyanddrivesawaytoherhighfor-
tune。
CaptainEllis(afiercesortoffairy)hadpro-
ducedacommandoutofadraweralmostasun-
expectedlyasinafairytale。Butacommandisanabstractidea,anditseemedasortof"lessermarvel"tillitflasheduponmethatitinvolvedtheconcreteexistenceofaship。
Aship!Myship!Shewasmine,moreabso-
lutelymineforpossessionandcarethananythingintheworld;anobjectofresponsibilityandde-
votion。Shewastherewaitingforme,spell-bound,unabletomove,tolive,togetoutintotheworld(tillIcame),likeanenchantedprincess。Hercallhadcometomeasiffromtheclouds。Ihadneversuspectedherexistence。Ididn’tknowhowshelooked,Ihadbarelyheardhername,andyetwewereindissolublyunitedforacertainportionofourfuture,tosinkorswimtogether!
Asuddenpassionofanxiousimpatiencerushedthroughmyveins,gavemesuchasenseofthein-
tensityofexistenceasIhaveneverfeltbeforeorsince。IdiscoveredhowmuchofaseamanIwas,inheart,inmind,and,asitwere,physically——amanexclusivelyofseaandships;theseatheonlyworldthatcounted,andtheships,thetestofman-
liness,oftemperament,ofcourageandfidelity——
andoflove。
Ihadanexquisitemoment。Itwasuniquealso。
Jumpingupfrommyseat,Ipacedupanddownmyroomforalongtime。ButwhenIcamedown-
stairsIbehavedwithsufficientcomposure。I
onlycouldn’teatanythingatdinner。
Havingdeclaredmyintentionnottodrivebuttowalkdowntothequay,ImustrenderthewretchedStewardjusticethathebestirredhimselftofindmesomecooliesfortheluggage。Theyde-
parted,carryingallmyworldlypossessions(exceptalittlemoneyIhadinmypocket)slungfromalongpole。CaptainGilesvolunteeredtowalkdownwithme。
Wefollowedthesombre,shadedalleyacrosstheEsplanade。Itwasmoderatelycoolthereunderthetrees。CaptainGilesremarked,withasuddenlaugh:"Iknowwho’sjollythankfulathavingseenthelastofyou。"
IguessedthathemeanttheSteward。Thefellowhadbornehimselftomeinasulkilyfrightenedmanneratthelast。Iexpressedmywonderthatheshouldhavetriedtodomeabadturnfornoreasonatall。
"Don’tyouseethatwhathewantedwastogetridofourfriendHamiltonbydodginghiminfrontofyouforthatjob?Thatwouldhaveremovedhimforgood。See?"
"Heavens!"Iexclaimed,feelinghumiliatedsomehow。"Canitbepossible?Whatafoolhemustbe!Thatoverbearing,impudentloafer!
Why!Hecouldn’t……Andyethe’snearlydoneit,Ibelieve;fortheHarbourOfficewasboundtosendsomebody。"
"Aye。AfoollikeourStewardcanbedangeroussometimes,"declaredCaptainGilessententiously。
"Justbecauseheisafool,"headded,impartingfurtherinstructioninhiscomplacentlowtones。
"For,"hecontinuedinthemannerofasetdemon-
stration,"nosensiblepersonwouldriskbeingkickedoutoftheonlyberthbetweenhimselfandstarvationjusttogetridofasimpleannoyance——
asmallworry。Wouldhenow?"
"Well,no,"Iconceded,restrainingadesiretolaughatthatsomethingmysteriouslyearnestindeliveringtheconclusionsofhiswisdomasthoughitweretheproductofprohibitedoperations。"Butthatfellowlooksasifhewererathercrazy。Hemustbe。"
"Astothat,Ibelieveeverybodyintheworldisalittlemad,"heannouncedquietly。
"Youmakenoexceptions?"Iinquired,justtohearhismanner。
"Why!Kentsaysthatevenofyou。"
"Doeshe?"Iretorted,extremelyembitteredallatonceagainstmyformercaptain。"There’snothingofthatinthewrittencharacterfromhimwhichI’vegotinmypocket。Hashegivenyouanyinstancesofmylunacy?"
CaptainGilesexplainedinaconciliatingtonethatithadbeenonlyafriendlyremarkinrefer-
encetomyabruptleavingtheshipfornoapparentreason。
Imutteredgrumpily:"Oh!leavinghisship,"
andmendedmypace。Hekeptupbymysideinthedeepgloomoftheavenueasifitwerehiscon-
scientiousdutytoseemeoutofthecolonyasanundesirablecharacter。Hepantedalittle,whichwasratherpatheticinaway。ButIwasnotmoved。Onthecontrary。Hisdiscomfortgavemeasortofmaliciouspleasure。
PresentlyIrelented,sloweddown,andsaid:
"WhatIreallywantedwastogetafreshgrip。
Ifeltitwastime。Isthatsoverymad?"
Hemadenoanswer。Wewereissuingfromtheavenue。Onthebridgeoverthecanaladark,ir-
resolutefigureseemedtobeawaitingsomethingorsomebody。
ItwasaMalaypoliceman,barefooted,inhisblueuniform。Thesilverbandonhislittleroundcapshonedimlyinthelightofthestreetlamp。Hepeeredinourdirectiontimidly。
Beforewecouldcomeuptohimheturnedaboutandwalkedinfrontofusinthedirectionofthejetty。Thedistancewassomehundredyards;andthenIfoundmycooliessquattingontheirheels。
Theyhadkeptthepoleontheirshoulders,andallmyworldlygoods,stilltiedtothepole,wererestingonthegroundbetweenthem。Asfarastheeyecouldreachalongthequaytherewasnotanothersoulabroadexceptthepolicepeon,whosalutedus。
Itseemshehaddetainedthecooliesassuspiciouscharacters,andhadforbiddenthemthejetty。Butatasignfrommehetookofftheembargowithalacrity。Thetwopatientfellows,risingtogetherwithafaintgrunt,trottedoffalongtheplanks,andIpreparedtotakemyleaveofCaptainGiles,whostoodtherewithanairasthoughhismissionweredrawingtoaclose。Itcouldnotbedeniedthathehaddoneitall。AndwhileIhesitatedaboutanappropriatesentencehemadehimselfheard:
"Iexpectyou’llhaveyourhandsprettyfulloftangled-upbusiness。"
Iaskedhimwhatmadehimthinkso;andhean-
sweredthatitwashisgeneralexperienceoftheworld。Shipalongtimeawayfromherport,ownersinaccessiblebycable,andtheonlymanwhocouldexplainmattersdeadandburied。
"Andyouyourselfnewtothebusinessinaway,"
heconcludedinasortofunanswerabletone。
"Don’tinsist,"Isaid。"Iknowitonlytoowell。
IonlywishyoucouldimparttomesomesmallportionofyourexperiencebeforeIgo。Asitcan’tbedoneintenminutesIhadbetternotbegintoaskyou。There’sthatharbourlaunchwaitingforme,too。ButIwon’tfeelreallyatpeacetillIhavethatshipofmineoutintheIndianOcean。"
HeremarkedcasuallythatfromBangkoktotheIndianOceanwasaprettylongstep。Andthismurmur,likeadimflashfromadarklantern,showedmeforamomentthebroadbeltofislandsandreefsbetweenthatunknownship,whichwasmine,andthefreedomofthegreatwatersoftheglobe。
ButIfeltnoapprehension。IwasfamiliarenoughwiththeArchipelagobythattime。Ex-
tremepatienceandextremecarewouldseemethroughtheregionofbrokenland,offaintairs,andofdeadwatertowhereIwouldfeelatlastmycommandswingonthegreatswellandlistovertothegreatbreathofregularwinds,thatwouldgiveherthefeelingofalarge,moreintenselife。Theroadwouldbelong。Allroadsarelongthatleadtowardone’sheart’sdesire。Butthisroadmymind’seyecouldseeonachart,professionally,withallitscomplicationsanddifficulties,yetsimpleenoughinaway。Oneisaseamanoroneisnot。
AndIhadnodoubtofbeingone。
TheonlypartIwasastrangertowastheGulfofSiam。AndImentionedthistoCaptainGiles。
NotthatIwasconcernedverymuch。ItbelongedtothesameregionthenatureofwhichIknew,intowhoseverysoulIseemedtohavelookedduringthelastmonthsofthatexistencewithwhichIhadbrokennow,suddenly,asonepartswithsomeen-
chantingcompany。
"Thegulf……Ay!Afunnypieceofwater——that,"saidCaptainGiles。
Funny,inthisconnection,wasavagueword。
Thewholethingsoundedlikeanopinionutteredbyacautiouspersonmindfulofactionsforslander。
Ididn’tinquireastothenatureofthatfunni-
ness。Therewasreallynotime。Butattheverylasthevolunteeredawarning。
"Whateveryoudokeeptotheeastsideofit。
Thewestsideisdangerousatthistimeoftheyear。
Don’tletanythingtemptyouover。You’llfindnothingbuttroublethere。"
ThoughIcouldhardlyimaginewhatcouldtemptmetoinvolvemyshipamongstthecurrentsandreefsoftheMalayshore,Ithankedhimfortheadvice。
Hegrippedmyextendedarmwarmly,andtheendofouracquaintancecamesuddenlyinthewords:"Good-night。"
Thatwasallhesaid:"Good-night。"Nothingmore。Idon’tknowwhatIintendedtosay,butsurprisemademeswallowit,whateveritwas。I
chokedslightly,andthenexclaimedwithasortofnervoushaste:"Oh!Good-night,CaptainGiles,good-night。"
Hismovementswerealwaysdeliberate,buthisbackhadrecededsomedistancealongthedesertedquaybeforeIcollectedmyselfenoughtofollowhisexampleandmadeahalfturninthedirectionofthejetty。
Onlymymovementswerenotdeliberate。I
hurrieddowntothesteps,andleapedintothelaunch。BeforeIhadfairlylandedinherstern-
sheetstheslimlittlecraftdartedawayfromthejettywithasuddenswirlofherpropellerandthehard,rapidpuffingoftheexhaustinhervaguelygleamingbrassfunnelamidships。
Themistychurningathersternwastheonlysoundintheworld。Theshorelayplungedinthesilenceofthedeeperslumber。Iwatchedthetownrecedestillandsoundlessinthehotnight,tilltheabrupthail,"Steam-launch,ahoy!"mademespinroundfaceforward。Wewereclosetoawhiteghostlysteamer。Lightsshoneonherdecks,inherportholes。Andthesamevoiceshoutedfromher:
"Isthatourpassenger?"
"Itis,"Iyelled。
Hercrewhadbeenobviouslyonthejump。I
couldhearthemrunningabout。Themodernspiritofhastewasloudlyvocalintheordersto"Heaveawayonthecable"——to"Lowertheside-
ladder,"andinurgentrequeststometo"Comealong,sir!Wehavebeendelayedthreehoursforyou……Ourtimeisseveno’clock,youknow!"
Isteppedonthedeck。Isaid"No!Idon’tknow。"Thespiritofmodernhurrywasembodiedinathin,long-armed,long-leggedman,withacloselyclippedgraybeard。Hismeagrehandwashotanddry。Hedeclaredfeverishly:
"IamhangedifIwouldhavewaitedanotherfiveminutesHarbour-MasterornoHarbour-
Master。"
"That’syourownbusiness,"Isaid。"Ididn’taskyoutowaitforme。"
"Ihopeyoudon’texpectanysupper,"heburstout。"Thisisn’taboarding-houseafloat。YouarethefirstpassengerIeverhadinmylifeandIhopetogoodnessyouwillbethelast。"
Imadenoanswertothishospitablecommuni-
cation;and,indeed,hedidn’twaitforany,boltingawayontohisbridgetogethisshipunderway。
Forthethreedayshehadmeonboardhedidnotdepartfromthathalf-hostileattitude。Hisshiphavingbeendelayedthreehoursonmyaccounthecouldn’tforgivemefornotbeingamoredistin-
guishedperson。Hewasnotexactlyoutspokenaboutit,butthatfeelingofannoyedwonderwaspeepingoutperpetuallyinhistalk。
Hewasabsurd。
Hewasalsoamanofmuchexperience,whichhelikedtotrotout;butnogreatercontrastwithCap-
tainGilescouldhavebeenimagined。HewouldhaveamusedmeifIhadwantedtobeamused。
ButIdidnotwanttobeamused。Iwaslikealoverlookingforwardtoameeting。Humanhos-
tilitywasnothingtome。Ithoughtofmyun-
knownship。Itwasamusementenough,tormentenough,occupationenough。
Heperceivedmystate,forhiswitsweresuffi-
cientlysharpforthat,andhepokedslyfunatmypreoccupationinthemannersomenasty,cynicaloldmenassumetowardthedreamsandillusionsofyouth。I,onmyside,refrainedfromquestioninghimastotheappearanceofmyship,thoughI
knewthatbeinginBangkokeveryfortnightorsohemusthaveknownherbysight。Iwasnotgoingtoexposetheship,myship!tosomeslightingreference。
HewasthefirstreallyunsympatheticmanIhadevercomeincontactwith。Myeducationwasfarfrombeingfinished,thoughIdidn’tknowit。No!
Ididn’tknowit。
AllIknewwasthathedislikedmeandhadsomecontemptformyperson。Why?Apparentlybecausehisshiphadbeendelayedthreehoursonmyaccount。WhowasItohavesuchathingdoneforme?Suchathinghadneverbeendoneforhim。
Itwasasortofjealousindignation。
Myexpectation,mingledwithfear,waswroughttoitshighestpitch。Howslowhadbeenthedaysofthepassageandhowsoontheywereover。Onemorning,early,wecrossedthebar,andwhilethesunwasrisingsplendidlyovertheflatspacesofthelandwesteameduptheinnumerablebends,passedundertheshadowofthegreatgiltpagoda,andreachedtheoutskirtsofthetown。
Thereitwas,spreadlargelyonbothbanks,theOrientalcapitalwhichhadasyetsufferednowhiteconqueror;anexpanseofbrownhousesofbamboo,ofmats,ofleaves,ofavegetable-matterstyleofarchitecture,sprungoutofthebrownsoilonthebanksofthemuddyriver。Itwasamazingtothinkthatinthosemilesofhumanhabitationstherewasnotprobablyhalfadozenpoundsofnails。Someofthosehousesofsticksandgrass,likethenestsofanaquaticrace,clungtothelowshores。Othersseemedtogrowoutofthewater;othersagainfloatedinlonganchoredrowsintheverymiddleofthestream。Hereandthereinthedistance,abovethecrowdedmoboflow,brownroofridges,toweredgreatpilesofmasonry,King’sPalace,temples,gorgeousanddilapidated,crumblingundertheverticalsunlight,tremendous,overpowering,al-
mostpalpable,whichseemedtoenterone’sbreastwiththebreathofone’snostrilsandsoakintoone’slimbsthrougheveryporeofone’sskin。
Theridiculousvictimofjealousyhadforsomereasonorothertostophisenginesjustthen。Thesteamerdriftedslowlyupwiththetide。ObliviousofmynewsurroundingsIwalkedthedeck,inanx-
ious,deadenedabstraction,acomminglingofromanticreveriewithaverypracticalsurveyofmyqualifications。Forthetimewasapproachingformetobeholdmycommandandtoprovemyworthintheultimatetestofmyprofession。
SuddenlyIheardmyselfcalledbythatimbe-
cile。Hewasbeckoningmetocomeuponhisbridge。
Ididn’tcareverymuchforthat,butasitseemedthathehadsomethingparticulartosayI
wentuptheladder。
Helaidhishandonmyshoulderandgavemeaslightturn,pointingwithhisotherarmatthesametime。
"There!That’syourship,Captain,"hesaid。
Ifeltathumpinmybreast——onlyone,asifmyhearthadthenceasedtobeat。Thereweretenormoreshipsmooredalongthebank,andtheonehemeantwaspartlyhiddenawayfrommysightbyhernextastern。Hesaid:"We’lldriftabreastherinamoment。"
Whatwashistone?Mocking?Threatening?
Oronlyindifferent?Icouldnottell。Isuspectedsomemaliceinthisunexpectedmanifestationofinterest。
Heleftme,andIleanedovertherailofthebridgelookingovertheside。Idarednotraisemyeyes。Yetithadtobedone——and,indeed,Icouldnothavehelpedmyself。IbelieveItrembled。
Butdirectlymyeyeshadrestedonmyshipallmyfearvanished。Itwentoffswiftly,likeabaddream。Onlythatadreamleavesnoshamebe-
hindit,andthatIfeltamomentaryshameatmyunworthysuspicions。
Yes,thereshewas。Herhull,herriggingfilledmyeyewithagreatcontent。Thatfeelingoflife-
emptinesswhichhadmademesorestlessforthelastfewmonthslostitsbitterplausibility,itsevilinfluence,dissolvedinaflowofjoyousemotion。
AtfirstglanceIsawthatshewasahigh-classvessel,aharmoniouscreatureinthelinesofherfinebody,intheproportionedtallnessofherspars。
Whateverherageandherhistory,shehadpre-
servedthestampofherorigin。Shewasoneofthosecraftthat,invirtueoftheirdesignandcom-
pletefinish,willneverlookold。Amongsthercom-
panionsmooredtothebank,andallbiggerthanherself,shelookedlikeacreatureofhighbreed——
anArabsteedinastringofcart-horses。
Avoicebehindmesaidinanastyequivocaltone:
"Ihopeyouaresatisfiedwithher,Captain。"I
didnoteventurnmyhead。Itwasthemasterofthesteamer,andwhateverhemeant,whateverhethoughtofher,Iknewthat,likesomerarewomen,shewasoneofthosecreatureswhosemereexistenceisenoughtoawakenanunselfishdelight。Onefeelsthatitisgoodtobeintheworldinwhichshehasherbeing。
Thatillusionoflifeandcharacterwhichcharmsoneinmen’sfinesthandiworkradiatedfromher。
Anenormousbulkofteak-woodtimberswungoverherhatchway;lifelessmatter,lookingheavierandbiggerthananythingaboardofher。Whentheystartedloweringitthesurgeofthetacklesentaquiverthroughherfromwater-linetothetrucksupthefinenervesofherrigging,asthoughshehadshudderedattheweight。Itseemedcrueltoloadherso……
Halfanhourlater,puttingmyfootonherdeckforthefirsttime,Ireceivedthefeelingofdeepphysicalsatisfaction。Nothingcouldequalthefullnessofthatmoment,theidealcompletenessofthatemotionalexperiencewhichhadcometomewithoutthepreliminarytoilanddisenchantmentsofanobscurecareer。
Myrapidglanceranoverher,enveloped,ap-
propriatedtheformconcretingtheabstractsenti-
mentofmycommand。Alotofdetailsperceptibletoaseamanstruckmyeye,vividlyinthatinstant。
Fortherest,Isawherdisengagedfromthematerialconditionsofherbeing。Theshoretowhichshewasmooredwasasifitdidnotexist。Whatweretomeallthecountriesoftheglobe?Inallthepartsoftheworldwashedbynavigablewatersourrelationtoeachotherwouldbethesame——andmoreintimatethantherearewordstoexpressinthelanguage。Apartfromthat,everysceneandepisodewouldbeamerepassingshow。Theverygangofyellowcooliesbusyaboutthemainhatchwaslesssubstantialthanthestuffdreamsaremadeof。ForwhoonearthwoulddreamofChinamen?……
Iwentaft,ascendedthepoop,where,undertheawning,gleamedthebrassesoftheyacht-likefittings,thepolishedsurfacesoftherails,theglassoftheskylights。Rightafttwoseamen,busycleaningthesteeringgear,withthereflectedripplesoflightrunningplayfullyuptheirbentbacks,wentonwiththeirwork,unawareofmeandoftheal-
mostaffectionateglanceIthrewattheminpassingtowardthecompanion-wayofthecabin。
Thedoorsstoodwideopen,theslidewaspushedrightback。Thehalf-turnofthestaircasecutofftheviewofthelobby。Alowhummingascendedfrombelow,butitstoppedabruptlyatthesoundofmydescendingfootsteps。
part1-3ChapterIII
THEfirstthingIsawdowntherewastheupperpartofaman’sbodyprojectingbackward,asitwere,fromoneofthedoorsatthefootofthestairs。Hiseyeslookedatmeverywideandstill。Inonehandheheldadinnerplate,intheotheracloth。
"IamyournewCaptain,"Isaidquietly。
Inamoment,inthetwinklingofaneye,hehadgotridoftheplateandtheclothandjumpedtoopenthecabindoor。AssoonasIpassedintothesaloonhevanished,butonlytoreappearinstantly,buttoningupajackethehadputonwiththeswiftnessofa"quick-change"artist。
"Where’sthechiefmate?"Iasked。
"Inthehold,Ithink,sir。Isawhimgodowntheafter-hatchtenminutesago。"
"TellhimIamonboard。"
Themahoganytableundertheskylightshoneinthetwilightlikeadarkpoolofwater。Theside-
board,surmountedbyawidelooking-glassinanormuluframe,hadamarbletop。Itboreapairofsilver-platedlampsandsomeotherpieces——
obviouslyaharbourdisplay。Thesaloonitselfwaspanelledintwokindsofwoodintheexcellentsimpletasteprevailingwhentheshipwasbuilt。
Isatdowninthearmchairattheheadofthetable——thecaptain’schair,withasmalltell-talecompassswungaboveit——amutereminderofun-
remittingvigilance。
Asuccessionofmenhadsatinthatchair。Ibe-
cameawareofthatthoughtsuddenly,vividly,asthougheachhadleftalittleofhimselfbetweenthefourwallsoftheseornatebulkheads;asifasortofcompositesoul,thesoulofcommand,hadwhisperedsuddenlytomineoflongdaysatseaandofanxiousmoments。
"You,too!"itseemedtosay,"you,too,shalltasteofthatpeaceandthatunrestinasearchingintimacywithyourownself——obscureaswewereandassupremeinthefaceofallthewindsandalltheseas,inanimmensitythatreceivesnoimpress,preservesnomemories,andkeepsnoreckoningoflives。"
Deepwithinthetarnishedormuluframe,inthehothalf-lightsiftedthroughtheawning,Isawmyownfaceproppedbetweenmyhands。AndI
staredbackatmyselfwiththeperfectdetachmentofdistance,ratherwithcuriositythanwithanyotherfeeling,exceptofsomesympathyforthislatestrepresentativeofwhatforallintentsandpurposeswasadynasty,continuousnotinbloodindeed,butinitsexperience,initstraining,initsconceptionofduty,andintheblessedsimplicityofitstraditionalpointofviewonlife。
ItstruckmethatthisquietlystaringmanwhomIwaswatching,bothasifheweremyselfandsome-
bodyelse,wasnotexactlyalonelyfigure。Hehadhisplaceinalineofmenwhomhedidnotknow,ofwhomhehadneverheard;butwhowerefashionedbythesameinfluences,whosesoulsinrelationtotheirhumblelife’sworkhadnosecretsforhim。
SuddenlyIperceivedthattherewasanothermaninthesaloon,standingalittleononesideandlook-
ingintentlyatme。Thechiefmate。Hislong,redmoustachedeterminedthecharacterofhisphysiognomy,whichstruckmeaspugnaciousin(strangetosay)aghastlysortofway。
Howlonghadhebeentherelookingatme,ap-
praisingmeinmyunguardedday-dreamingstate?
Iwouldhavebeenmoredisconcertedif,havingtheclocksetinthetopofthemirror-framerightinfrontofme,Ihadnotnoticedthatitslonghandhadhardlymovedatall。
Icouldnothavebeeninthatcabinmorethantwominutesaltogether。Saythree……Sohecouldnothavebeenwatchingmemorethanamerefractionofaminute,luckily。Still,Ire-
grettedtheoccurrence。
ButIshowednothingofitasIroseleisurely(ithadtobeleisurely)andgreetedhimwithperfectfriendliness。
Therewassomethingreluctantandatthesametimeattentiveinhisbearing。HisnamewasBurns。Weleftthecabinandwentroundtheshiptogether。Hisfaceinthefulllightofdayap-
pearedverypale,meagre,evenhaggard。Some-
howIhadadelicacyastolookingtoooftenathim;
hiseyes,onthecontrary,remainedfairlygluedonmyface。Theyweregreenishandhadanex-
pectantexpression。
Heansweredallmyquestionsreadilyenough,butmyearseemedtocatchatoneofunwillingness。
Thesecondofficer,withthreeorfourhands,wasbusyforward。ThematementionedhisnameandInoddedtohiminpassing。Hewasveryyoung。
Hestruckmeasratheracub。
Whenwereturnedbelow,Isatdownononeendofadeep,semi-circular,or,rather,semi-ovalsettee,upholsteredinredplush。Itextendedrightacrossthewholeafter-endofthecabin。Mr。Burnsmotionedtositdown,droppedintooneoftheswivel-chairsroundthetable,andkepthiseyesonmeaspersistentlyasever,andwiththatstrangeairasifallthisweremake-believeandheexpectedmetogetup,burstintoalaugh,slaphimontheback,andvanishfromthecabin。
Therewasanoddstressinthesituationwhichbegantomakemeuncomfortable。Itriedtoreactagainstthisvaguefeeling。
"It’sonlymyinexperience,"Ithought。
Inthefaceofthatman,severalyears,Ijudged,olderthanmyself,IbecameawareofwhatIhadleftalreadybehindme——myyouth。Andthatwasindeedpoorcomfort。Youthisafinething,amightypower——aslongasonedoesnotthinkofit。IfeltIwasbecomingself-conscious。AlmostagainstmywillIassumedamoodygravity。I
said:"Iseeyouhavekeptherinverygoodorder,Mr。Burns。"
DirectlyIhadutteredthesewordsIaskedmy-
selfangrilywhythedeucedidIwanttosaythat?
Mr。Burnsinanswerhadonlyblinkedatme。Whatonearthdidhemean?
Ifellbackonaquestionwhichhadbeeninmythoughtsforalongtime——themostnaturalques-
tiononthelipsofanyseamanwhateverjoiningaship。Ivoicedit(confoundthisself-consciousness)
inadegagecheerfultone:"Isupposeshecantravel——what?"
Nowaquestionlikethismighthavebeenan-
swerednormally,eitherinaccentsofapologeticsorroworwithavisiblysuppressedpride,ina"I
don’twanttoboast,butyoushallsee,"sortoftone。Therearesailors,too,whowouldhavebeenroughlyoutspoken:"Lazybrute,"oropenlyde-
lighted:"She’saflyer。"Twoways,iffourmanners。
ButMr。Burnsfoundanotherway,awayofhisownwhichhad,atallevents,themeritofsavinghisbreath,ifnoother。
Againhedidnotsayanything。Heonlyfrowned。Anditwasanangryfrown。Iwaited。
Nothingmorecame。
"What’sthematter?……Can’tyoutellafterbeingnearlytwoyearsintheship?"Iad-
dressedhimsharply。
Helookedasstartledforamomentasthoughhehaddiscoveredmypresenceonlythatverymo-
ment。Butthispassedoffalmostatonce。Heputonanairofindifference。ButIsupposehethoughtitbettertosaysomething。Hesaidthatashipneeded,justlikeaman,thechancetoshowthebestshecoulddo,andthatthisshiphadneverhadachancesincehehadbeenonboardofher。Notthathecouldremember。Thelastcaptain……
Hepaused。
"Hashebeensoveryunlucky?"Iaskedwithfrankincredulity。Mr。Burnsturnedhiseyesawayfromme。No,thelatecaptainwasnotanunluckyman。Onecouldn’tsaythat。Buthehadnotseemedtowanttomakeuseofhisluck。
Mr。Burns——manofenigmaticmoods——madethisstatementwithaninanimatefaceandstaringwilfullyattheruddercasing。Thestatementitselfwasobscurelysuggestive。Iaskedquietly:
"Wheredidhedie?"
"Inthissaloon。Justwhereyouaresittingnow,"answeredMr。Burns。
Irepressedasillyimpulsetojumpup;butuponthewholeIwasrelievedtohearthathehadnotdiedinthebedwhichwasnowtobemine。I
pointedouttothechiefmatethatwhatIreallywantedtoknowwaswherehehadburiedhislatecaptain。
Mr。Burnssaidthatitwasattheentrancetothegulf。Aroomygrave;asufficientanswer。Butthemate,overcomingvisiblysomethingwithinhim——somethinglikeacuriousreluctancetobelieveinmyadvent(asanirrevocablefact,atanyrate),didnotstopatthat——though,indeed,hemayhavewishedtodoso。
Asacompromisewithhisfeelings,Ibelieve,headdressedhimselfpersistentlytotherudder-casing,sothattomehehadtheappearanceofamantalkinginsolitude,alittleunconsciously,however。
Histalewasthatatsevenbellsintheforenoonwatchhehadallhandsmusteredonthequarter-
deckandtoldthemtheyhadbettergodowntosaygood-byetothecaptain。
Thosewords,asifgrudgedtoanintrudingper-
sonage,wereenoughformetoevokevividlythatstrangeceremony:Thebare-footed,bare-headedseamencrowdingshylyintothatcabin,asmallmobpressedagainstthatsideboard,uncomfortableratherthanmoved,shirtsopenonsunburntchests,weather-beatenfaces,andallstaringatthedyingmanwiththesamegraveandexpectantexpression。
"Washeconscious?"Iasked。
"Hedidn’tspeak,buthemovedhiseyestolookatthem,"saidthemate。
Afterwaitingamoment,Mr。Burnsmotionedthecrewtoleavethecabin,buthedetainedthetwoeldestmentostaywiththecaptainwhilehewentondeckwithhissextantto"takethesun。"Itwasgettingtowardnoonandhewasanxioustoobtainagoodobservationforlatitude。Whenhereturnedbelowtoputhissextantawayhefoundthatthetwomenhadretreatedoutintothelobby。
Throughtheopendoorhehadaviewofthecaptainlyingeasyagainstthepillows。Hehad"passedaway"whileMr。Burnswastakingthisobserva-
tion。Asnearnoonaspossible。Hehadhardlychangedhisposition。
Mr。Burnssighed,glancedatmeinquisitively,asmuchastosay,"Aren’tyougoingyet?"andthenturnedhisthoughtsfromhisnewcaptainbacktotheold,who,beingdead,hadnoauthority,wasnotinanybody’sway,andwasmucheasiertodealwith。
Mr。Burnsdealtwithhimatsomelength。Hewasapeculiarman——ofsixty-fiveabout——irongray,hard-faced,obstinate,anduncommunicative。Heusedtokeeptheshiploafingatseaforinscrutablereasons。Wouldcomeondeckatnightsometimes,takesomesailoffher,Godonlyknowswhyorwherefore,thengobelow,shuthimselfupinhiscabin,andplayontheviolinforhours——tillday-
breakperhaps。Infact,hespentmostofhistimedayornightplayingtheviolin。Thatwaswhenthefittookhim。Veryloud,too。
Itcametothis,thatMr。Burnsmusteredhiscourageonedayandremonstratedearnestlywiththecaptain。Neitherhenorthesecondmatecouldgetawinkofsleepintheirwatchesbelowforthenoise……Andhowcouldtheybeex-
pectedtokeepawakewhileonduty?Hepleaded。
Theanswerofthatsternmanwasthatifheandthesecondmatedidn’tlikethenoise,theywerewel-
cometopackuptheirtrapsandwalkovertheside。
Whenthisalternativewasofferedtheshiphap-
penedtobe600milesfromthenearestland。
Mr。Burnsatthispointlookedatmewithanairofcuriosity。Ibegantothinkthatmypredecessorwasaremarkablypeculiaroldman。
ButIhadtohearstrangerthingsyet。Itcameoutthatthisstern,grim,wind-tanned,rough,sea-
salted,taciturnsailorofsixty-fivewasnotonlyanartist,butaloveraswell。InHaiphong,whentheygotthereafteracourseofmostunprofitableperegrinations(duringwhichtheshipwasnearlylosttwice),hegothimself,inMr。Burns’ownwords,"mixedup"withsomewoman。Mr。Burnshadhadnopersonalknowledgeofthataffair,butpositiveevidenceofitexistedintheshapeofaphotographtakeninHaiphong。Mr。Burnsfounditinoneofthedrawersinthecaptain’sroom。
InduecourseI,too,sawthatamazinghumandocument(Ieventhrewitoverboardlater)。
Therehesat,withhishandsreposingonhisknees,bald,squat,gray,bristly,recallingawildboarsomehow;andbyhissidetoweredanawfulmature,whitefemalewithrapaciousnostrilsandacheaplyill-omenedstareinherenormouseyes。Shewasdisguisedinsomesemi-oriental,vulgar,fancycostume。Sheresembledalow-classmediumoroneofthosewomenwhotellfortunesbycardsforhalfacrown。Andyetshewasstriking。Apro-
fessionalsorceressfromtheslums。Itwasincom-
prehensible。Therewassomethingawfulinthethoughtthatshewasthelastreflectionoftheworldofpassionforthefiercesoulwhichseemedtolookatoneoutofthesardonicallysavagefaceofthatoldseaman。However,Inoticedthatshewasholdingsomemusicalinstrument——guitarormandoline——
inherhand。Perhapsthatwasthesecretofhersortilege。
ForMr。Burnsthatphotographexplainedwhytheunloadedshiphadkeptswelteringatanchorforthreeweeksinapestilentialhotharbourwith-
outair。Theylaythereandgasped。Thecap-
tain,appearingnowandthenonshortvisits,mumbledtoMr。Burnsunlikelytalesaboutsomelettershewaswaitingfor。
Suddenly,aftervanishingforaweek,hecameonboardinthemiddleofthenightandtooktheshipouttoseawiththefirstbreakofdawn。Daylightshowedhimlookingwildandill。Themeregettingclearofthelandtooktwodays,andsomehoworothertheybumpedslightlyonareef。However,noleakdeveloped,andthecaptain,growling"nomatter,"informedMr。BurnsthathehadmadeuphismindtotaketheshiptoHong-Konganddry-
dockherthere。
AtthisMr。Burnswasplungedintodespair。Forindeed,tobeatuptoHong-Kongagainstafiercemonsoon,withashipnotsufficientlyballastedandwithhersupplyofwaternotcompleted,wasanin-
saneproject。
Butthecaptaingrowledperemptorily,"Stickheratit,"andMr。Burns,dismayedandenraged,stuckheratit,andkeptheratit,blowingawaysails,strainingthespars,exhaustingthecrew——
nearlymaddenedbytheabsoluteconvictionthattheattemptwasimpossibleandwasboundtoendinsomecatastrophe。
Meantimethecaptain,shutupinhiscabinandwedgedinacornerofhissetteeagainstthecrazyboundingoftheship,playedtheviolin——or,atanyrate,madecontinuousnoiseonit。
Whenheappearedondeckhewouldnotspeakandnotalwaysanswerwhenspokento。Itwasobviousthathewasillinsomemysteriousmanner,andbeginningtobreakup。
Asthedayswentbythesoundsoftheviolinbe-
camelessandlessloud,tillatlastonlyafeeblescratchingwouldmeetMr。Burns’earashestoodinthesaloonlisteningoutsidethedoorofthecap-
tain’sstate-room。
Oneafternooninperfectdesperationheburstintothatroomandmadesuchascene,tearinghishairandshoutingsuchhorridimprecationsthathecowedthecontemptuousspiritofthesickman。
Thewater-tankswerelow,theyhadnotgainedfiftymilesinafortnight。ShewouldneverreachHong-
Kong。
Itwaslikefightingdesperatelytowarddestruc-
tionfortheshipandthemen。Thiswasevidentwithoutargument。Mr。Burns,losingallrestraint,puthisfaceclosetohiscaptain’sandfairlyyelled:"You,sir,aregoingoutoftheworld。ButIcan’twaittillyouaredeadbeforeIputthehelmup。Youmustdoityourself。Youmustdoitnow!"
Themanonthecouchsnarledincontempt。
"SoIamgoingoutoftheworld——amI?"
"Yes,sir——youhaven’tmanydaysleftinit,"
saidMr。Burnscalmingdown。"Onecanseeitbyyourface。"
"Myface,eh?……Well,putupthehelmandbedamnedtoyou。"
Burnsflewondeck,gottheshipbeforethewind,thencamedownagaincomposed,butresolute。
"I’veshapedacourseforPuloCondor,sir,"hesaid。"Whenwemakeit,ifyouarestillwithus,you’lltellmeintowhatportyouwishmetotaketheshipandI’lldoit。"
Theoldmangavehimalookofsavagespite,andsaidthoseatrociouswordsindeadly,slowtones。
"IfIhadmywish,neithertheshipnoranyofyouwouldeverreachaport。AndIhopeyouwon’t。"
Mr。Burnswasprofoundlyshocked。Ibelievehewaspositivelyfrightenedatthetime。Itseems,however,thathemanagedtoproducesuchaneffectivelaughthatitwastheoldman’sturntobefrightened。Heshrankwithinhimselfandturnedhisbackonhim。
"Andhisheadwasnotgonethen,"Mr。Burnsassuredmeexcitedly。"Hemeanteverywordofit。"
"Suchwaspracticallythelatecaptain’slastspeech。Noconnectedsentencepassedhislipsafterward。Thatnightheusedthelastofhisstrengthtothrowhisfiddleovertheside。Noonehadactuallyseenhimintheact,butafterhisdeathMr。Burnscouldn’tfindthethinganywhere。
Theemptycasewasverymuchinevidence,butthefiddlewasclearlynotintheship。Andwhereelsecouldithavegonetobutoverboard?"
"Threwhisviolinoverboard!"Iexclaimed。
"Hedid,"criedMr。Burnsexcitedly。"Andit’smybeliefhewouldhavetriedtotaketheshipdownwithhimifithadbeeninhumanpower。Henevermeanthertoseehomeagain。Hewouldn’twritetohisowners,heneverwrotetohisoldwife,either——hewasn’tgoingto。Hehadmadeuphismindtocutadriftfromeverything。That’swhatitwas。Hedidn’tcareforbusiness,orfreights,orformakingapassage——oranything。Hemeanttohavegonewanderingabouttheworldtillhelostherwithallhands。"
Mr。Burnslookedlikeamanwhohadescapedgreatdanger。Foralittlehewouldhaveex-
claimed:"Ifithadn’tbeenforme!"Andthetransparentinnocenceofhisindignanteyeswasunderlinedquaintlybythearrogantpairofmoustacheswhichheproceededtotwist,andasifextend,horizontally。
ImighthavesmiledifIhadnotbeenbusywithmyownsensations,whichwerenotthoseofMr。
Burns。Iwasalreadythemanincommand。Mysensationscouldnotbelikethoseofanyothermanonboard。InthatcommunityIstood,likeakinginhiscountry,inaclassallbymyself。Imeananhereditaryking,notamereelectedheadofastate。
IwasbroughttheretorulebyanagencyasremotefromthepeopleandasinscrutablealmosttothemastheGraceofGod。
Andlikeamemberofadynasty,feelingasemi-
mysticalbondwiththedead,Iwasprofoundlyshockedbymyimmediatepredecessor。
Thatmanhadbeeninallessentialsbuthisagejustsuchanothermanasmyself。Yettheendofhislifewasacompleteactoftreason,thebetrayalofatraditionwhichseemedtomeasimperativeasanyguideonearthcouldbe。Itappearedthatevenatseaamancouldbecomethevictimofevilspirits。Ifeltonmyfacethebreathofunknownpowersthatshapeourdestinies。
NottoletthesilencelasttoolongIaskedMr。
Burnsifhehadwrittentohiscaptain’swife。Heshookhishead。Hehadwrittentonobody。
Inamomenthebecamesombre。Heneverthoughtofwriting。IttookhimallhistimetowatchincessantlytheloadingoftheshipbyarascallyChinesestevedore。InthisMr。Burnsgavemethefirstglimpseoftherealchiefmate’ssoulwhichdweltuneasilyinhisbody。
Hemused,thenhastenedonwithgloomyforce。
"Yes!Thecaptaindiedasnearnoonaspos-
sible。Ilookedthroughhispapersintheafternoon。
IreadtheserviceoverhimatsunsetandthenI
stucktheship’sheadnorthandbroughtherinhere。I——brought——her——in。"
Hestruckthetablewithhisfist。
"Shewouldhardlyhavecomeinbyherself,"I
observed。"Butwhydidn’tyoumakeforSinga-
poreinstead?"
Hiseyeswavered。"Thenearestport,"hemutteredsullenly。
Ihadframedthequestioninperfectinnocence,buthisanswer(thedifferenceindistancewasin-
significant)andhismannerofferedmeacluetothesimpletruth。Hetooktheshiptoaportwhereheexpectedtobeconfirmedinhistemporarycom-
mandfromlackofaqualifiedmastertoputoverhishead。WhereasSingapore,hesurmisedjustly,wouldbefullofqualifiedmen。ButhisnaivereasoningforgottotakeintoaccountthetelegraphcablereposingonthebottomoftheveryGulfupwhichhehadturnedthatshipwhichheimaginedhimselftohavesavedfromdestruction。Hencethebitterflavourofourinterview。Itasteditmoreandmoredistinctly——anditwaslessandlesstomytaste。
"Lookhere,Mr。Burns,"Ibeganveryfirmly。
"YoumayaswellunderstandthatIdidnotrunafterthiscommand。Itwaspushedinmyway。
I’veacceptedit。Iamheretotaketheshiphomefirstofall,andyoumaybesurethatIshallseetoitthateveryoneofyouonboardheredoeshisdutytothatend。ThisisallIhavetosay——forthepresent。"
Hewasonhisfeetbythistime,butinsteadoftakinghisdismissalheremainedwithtrembling,indignantlips,andlookingatmehardasthough,really,afterthis,therewasnothingformetodoincommondecencybuttovanishfromhisoutragedsight。Likeallverysimpleemotionalstatesthiswasmoving。Ifeltsorryforhim——almostsympa-
thetic,till(seeingthatIdidnotvanish)hespokeinatoneofforcedrestraint。
"IfIhadn’tawifeandachildathomeyoumaybesure,sir,Iwouldhaveaskedyoutoletmegotheveryminuteyoucameonboard。"
Iansweredhimwithamatter-of-coursecalmnessasthoughsomeremotethirdpersonwereinquestion。
"AndI,Mr。Burns,wouldnothaveletyougo。
Youhavesignedtheship’sarticlesaschiefofficer,andtilltheyareterminatedatthefinalportofdischargeIshallexpectyoutoattendtoyourdutyandgivemethebenefitofyourexperiencetothebestofyourability。"
Stonyincredulitylingeredinhiseyes:butitbrokedownbeforemyfriendlyattitude。Withaslightupwardtossofhisarms(Igottoknowthatgesturewellafterward)heboltedoutofthecabin。
Wemighthavesavedourselvesthatlittlepas-
sageofharmlesssparring。BeforemanydayshadelapseditwasMr。Burnswhowaspleadingwithmeanxiouslynottoleavehimbehind;whileIcouldonlyreturnhimbutdoubtfulanswers。Thewholethingtookonasomewhattragiccomplexion。
Andthishorribleproblemwasonlyanextrane-
ousepisode,amerecomplicationinthegeneralproblemofhowtogetthatship——whichwasminewithherappurtenancesandhermen,withherbodyandherspiritnowslumberinginthatpestilentialriver——howtogetherouttosea。
Mr。Burns,whilestillactingcaptain,hadhastenedtosignacharter-partywhichinanidealworldwithoutguilewouldhavebeenanexcellentdocument。DirectlyIranmyeyeoveritIfore-
sawtroubleaheadunlessthepeopleoftheotherpartwerequiteexceptionallyfair-mindedandopentoargument。
Mr。Burns,towhomIimpartedmyfears,chosetotakegreatumbrageatthem。Helookedatmewiththatusualincredulousstare,andsaidbitterly:
"Isuppose,sir,youwanttomakeoutI’veactedlikeafool?"
Itoldhim,withmysystematickindlinesswhichalwaysseemedtoaugmenthissurprise,thatIdidnotwanttomakeoutanything。Iwouldleavethattothefuture。
And,sureenough,thefuturebroughtinalotoftrouble。ThereweredayswhenIusedtoremem-
berCaptainGileswithnothingshortofabhor-
rence。Hisconfoundedacutenesshadletmeinforthisjob;whilehisprophecythatI"wouldhavemyhandsfull"comingtrue,madeitappearasifdoneonpurposetoplayaneviljokeonmyyounginnocence。
Yes。Ihadmyhandsfullofcomplicationswhichweremostvaluableas"experience。"Peoplehaveagreatopinionoftheadvantagesofexperience。
Butinthisconnectionexperiencemeansalwayssomethingdisagreeableasopposedtothecharmandinnocenceofillusions。
ImustsayIwaslosingminerapidly。ButontheseinstructivecomplicationsImustnotenlargemorethantosaythattheycouldallberesumedintheoneword:Delay。
Amankindwhichhasinventedtheproverb,"Timeismoney,"willunderstandmyvexation。
第2章